Just as the parents slog day and night to provide a better (material) life for their offspring, the (personal) gurus thrive to work on their disciples and their souls to raise them to the most highest spiritual states attainable. All the knowledge gained from reading spiritual books and listening to discourses, learning of doctrines and beliefs, trying to understand and follow them fell apart when these personal gurus came into my life. I was blessed to meet two gurus who tutored me personally. But this had to take place only after I was forced to drop all my earlier learning. Lord Siva came in a dream and told me to drop all the questions at least for that "moment", to save me from further confusion and distress and from possibly turning cuckoo. The moment though came to last 14 long years. If prior to this period of total abstinence from all forms of learning and worship, the books were my only guru, where I learnt theory and put to practice techniques from the texts, after the long period of summa eru or disengagement, the guru took the physical form, addressing me, talking to me and leading me with numerous practices and techniques. It was a one to one teaching and learning, between a master and a student.
From the myriad number of ways and means to spiritual attainment, Agathiyar chose a path for me that would best suite my present temperament and nature, my ability to understand and follow, and that which satisfied my previous stock of merits, and my past learning and experience. He introduced me to his path, the siddha path.
The 14 years of hibernation prior to reading the nadi served to clear all the thoughts and opinions I had about religion and spiritualism. The absence of worship and religious practice in my life, cleared the air of any dubious belief and following. I was back to gaining the state of a plain white paper on which Agathiyar could begin writing. All the learning accumulated before had to drop for the true learning to come within.
I understand fully well why Lord Siva had to intervene in my life back then through the dream. Then he came as Lord Dhakshanamurthy to redeem me. He came as Agathiyar, as Sriman Narayana, as Rengarajar, as Supramania Swami, as Tavayogi and many others to mold me further. All the messages passed on by them, helped formed me into a better person. But I still need to work on several other aspects of me. It is a lifelong process I understand. Yogi Ramsuratkumar says that there were days he was spiritually high and suddenly became very low in self esteem on other days. But as these gurus are forever established and connected with Erai and it energy, they can come out of these states equally fast. As for us, we cannot settle down thinking that since we had gained the grace or arul of Erai, we can quit engaging with Erai further. We need to energize ourselves daily, through all the possible means available. Hence I realize the need for gurus to continue building places of worship where their disciples could congregate and carry on the worship and its related activities.
Just as the Buddhist meticulously draw up the sand mandala or sacred cosmograms, a representation of the world in divine form, for days on end, only to destroy it later, Erai too after creating all, with all the details and intricacies that goes into creation and sustenance of life and its cycle, shall like the wonderful civilizations that existed at one time, some day destroy all. Erai constantly keeps telling us that life is impermanent. Similarly just as we are about to appreciate the wonders of Erai and mother earth, the wonders all around us, the dynamic ideas and thoughts that come to us and its ensuing results brought to life, and the wonderful masterpieces and artistic pieces we create, we are told that all this is Maya or an illusion, that it is subject to change and not permanent. Just as I am about to admire the blooming of a flower I am told not to fall for its beauty for it is Maya. Just as I am about to taste the coffee that Suren bought in Kenya, I am told not to be addicted to its divine taste for it is Maya. I had all this while thought that those who would chose to see the world as bleak and dark were sick and emotionless. These people are spoilsports I tend to think at times. They reject what ever is real, before our eyes for something out there unreal and not visible to our eyes. They choose to ignore what is directly visible and in front of our eyes and rather chose to believe in something not real, invisible, not seen by us and out of our reach as true. But we cannot ignore what cannot be seen by us, for others have seen them. Both the saints and scientist have seen many a thing that is yet to be revealed. Today I understand that both perspectives are true, and that we are limited in our vision. Our understanding is very much dependent on what we want to see, the extend of our vision, the aid or "gadgets" available on hand and at that time, and the discoveries made to date.
Today I understand that the material world is very much real. Maya is not alluding to a state of illusion but that of impermanence. Just as we drink to the brink and regret having a hangover the next day, we are warned of the repercussions in getting attached to the material world. Fights erupt, arguments start, peace is disrupted as a result of holding fast to thoughts and opinions, teachings and practices etc.
It is in this manner that Erai educates us at ATM not to hold fast to the age old rituals and modes of worship too, rather to keep an open mind and welcome change and accept its results. Erai guides us in experimenting and testing the feasibility of new approaches towards them. Change brings along a process of evolution into something else, much more beautiful as seen in nature.
It is in this manner that Erai educates us at ATM not to hold fast to the age old rituals and modes of worship too, rather to keep an open mind and welcome change and accept its results. Erai guides us in experimenting and testing the feasibility of new approaches towards them. Change brings along a process of evolution into something else, much more beautiful as seen in nature.
When the lure of the world pulls us towards it, do not refrain nor hold yourself back. When some saints go to the extreme state of deriding the body, relationship and attachment, the siddhas ask us to honor all three. The siddhas chose to take the middle way. The beauty in the siddhas is that they can tell you to have a statue made and worshiped and later through another siddha tell you to drop the practice. It is not to be understood that idol worship is wrong in essence but that one has transcended that stage of adhering to that particular practice.
As Dr K.Loganathan says in https://sites.google.com/site/sacredtamil/, we need to have "the mental freedom to reject methods and investigate them as free souls", and "begin inquiry into metaphysics taking the World as TEXT and existence as something being written there." Tavayogi too voiced out that the siddha and soul cannot be dictated and caged in by codes, rules, etc but must be allowed to roam free to experiment life. Tavayogi asked us not to adopt the sayings of the siddhas per se, but to investigate them first. The siddha path is existence on absolute truth as the Dr and Agathiyar share. This authentic existence is San Marga or the way of Enlightenment.
This lesson teaches us to not to hold fast to ideas, images, concepts, beliefs. If and when our perception of life takes a beating, we can come to terms that everything is in a state of flux and impermanence. Those on the other side of this material world, ask that we drop our hold on this material world and go over. Having gone over, even then Thirumular gives us a reminder and warning. He tells us that we have to lose even the desire towards Siva.
After understanding this concept I can readily accept when told that Agathiyar is a female. Tell me that Agathiyar is Siva, and I shall accept. Tell me that Agathiyar is formless I will accept. When Agathiyar himself tells me that he is prapanjam and that the prapanjam is in him I can accept. Prior to this understanding, I would have held fast to the strong beliefs of others that we allow to take hold of us. I would have held fast, to opinions of those before us, who showed us Agathiyar as being a mere three feet pygmy or yet others who challenged that he was six feet. When we read findings of the learned scholars that there were several Agathiyar and Avvai who lived in the past, it does not bother us now. Nothing bothers us for we do not hold on fast to doctrines or understandings but instead evolve with the times and its findings as Erai chooses to expose.
Siddha practitioner Arivananthan asked if I would be heading for Thirukkadaiyur to solemnize my marriage with my wife again since I am turning sixty this year. This is a custom among us that some chose to carry on. But I did not know its true meaning till he mentioned it to me. This wedding ceremony was done to inform the couple and others that henceforth, having completed and fulfilled all their responsibilities as a parent, the couple will now lead a life of piousness and engage completely in the thoughts of Erai, reserving all their remaining time, energy and life in the service to Erai now. This act conforms with another age old tradition, the four age-based life stages known as ashramas, with the first being Brahmacharya (bachelor student), then Grihastha (householder), followed by Vanaprastha (forest dweller, retired) and finally Sannyasa, the stage of renunciation. We have not moved into the forest yet although you might want to consider Agathiyar Vanam as one. I have retired ahead though. We will be taking a new role, welcoming the new change as we step into the life of a Vanaprastha, moving on to new turfs and new frontiers and new possibilities in life, serving Erai with all the attention with all the time available now.
I am very happy to come to the path of the siddhas that teaches us to appreciate life; take care of our body, a gift and rare treasure; to carry out our responsibilities; to work and support the family and the needy; to marry and carry prodigies that are little Buddhas and Siddhas; to earn an honest living; to help those in need; to pray for the well being of all and to be always grateful to Erai.
The siddhas in essence want us to experiment with ideas and life. Rather than take on a form given, choose to see Erai in the the form you wish. Change these forms if need arises. Eventually drop even that particular form. Choose to see Erai all around you. Choose to see Erai in the smile of a stranger. Choose to see Erai in the instantly changing colors of the morning and evening skies. Choose to see Erai in the growth rings of the tree that took years to form. The tree is never the same all year round. Neither are we. You are a dead wood if you do not savor what Erai has to offer. Live a fruitful and satisfied live without harming another. That is all that matters. The rest will take care of itself.