Not having any idea of who the Siddhas were and how to go about their worship, when Agathiyar asks me to come to the worship of the Siddhas in the Nadi, by his grace Sivabalan handed me a painting of Agathiyar after the reading. Unknowingly I held my guru in my hands that day. Never did I imagine that 8 years later I shall hold a bronze statue of his in my hands too. Today I realize that if Agathiyar wants us to do something that he would give us the means and show the way too.
The Nadi reader Sentilkumar performed a puja for the Nadi as requested by Agathiyar, several days later at Sivabalan's home. I was then introduced to the Siddhas formally, when he led the prayer reciting the names of the Siddhas. That was to be my very first Siddhar puja. I began reciting these names in my home since then. Today Agathiyar tells me the significance of these names, that there are themselves the Maha Mantra or Mantras of great magnitude.
Seeking to know more about their puja I arrived at the Agathiyar Sanmarga Sangam in Dengkil, which I remembered, seeing their members on the streets and at religious events, soliciting funds and donations to help and feed the poor. I remembered the receipts they issued carried the picture of Agathiyar and the founder of the mission whom I came to know later as Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar. Anbarasan, Jayanthi ma, and Manivannan ushered me and my wife whenever we frequented the mission and feed us well too. I bought many video CDs of the guru and books from them and learned many things about the Siddhas and their worship, watching and reading these materials. I saw the extent of their service and the love they carried in providing for the unfortunate both in Malaysia and India. This mission was a stepping stone and catalyst for me to become informed about the Siddhas. I frequented this mission.
Visiting the Agathiyar Gurukulam in Kampung Laksamana I saw that the movement and its members had moved on to Ramalinga Adigal and his Jhothi Vazhipaadu. They gathered to recite the Agaval and worship ArutperJhoti Andavar. As my wish was explicitly to know about the Siddhas, I turned my attention elsewhere.
Equipped with whatever little knowledge I gained I traveled to India in 2003 for the first time to carry out my remedies or parikaram. I wanted very much to meet Rengaraja Desigar, the head of the mission at Ongarakudil. As I stepped into their premises, the late Nadarajah ushered me and Deva, my chauffeur. Stating my wish to see the mission head, Nadarajah told me that Rengarajar will give an audience at 6pm to the public. Meanwhile, Nadarajah served us tea and brought us on a tour of their temple/ashram complex. He briefed us that the guru wanted everybody who came by to know the extent of their service and work. I was surprised to see the magnitude of the storage facilities, the preparation of food and their service in feeding the hungry. I was blessed to see Rengarajar earlier than said when by Agathiyar's grace a couple of entrepreneurs from Bombay had just left after seeing him regarding certain fixtures for the ashram. Nadarajah rushed me to see Rengarajar who was now sitting alone in a room. After a quick introduction from Nadarajah, the guru moved on to ask about my itinerary from Deva. Then he turned to me and asked about the city I lived in. This went on for some time. There was no mention of the Siddhas. My thirst and hunger to know about them as they say from the horse's mouth was not quenched. I was disappointed. I then asked him to bless me. Nadarajah whispered to me that as Rengarajar was hard of hearing I had to speak up. I did asking the same a couple of times. But he did not respond. Finally, he told me coming there itself was a blessing. This was a blow to me. Many questions ran through my mind. Was not I eligible to be there? Was it wrong of me to be there? Did I drop in by chance or accident? No, I didn't. I had not decided to addon to this destination during my travels. On the contrary, I had planned from the very beginning, while drafting my itinerary, to meet him in person. I passed on a small donation to him and took leave of him. I was invited to spend the night over at the ashram by Nadarajah but as I had an earlier commitment to carry out a remedy at the Paalur Sani temple, I had to turn down the offer. As I returned to the hotel, I was embroiled in thoughts of why the guru refused to bless me, a very simple thing that was asked of him. This question was to bug me for the next two years.
Meanwhile, a couple of days later as I had finished my Girivalam or circumambulating the Holy hill of Tiruvannamalai, I landed at the home of my very first guru Supramania Swami, unknowingly and mysteriously. I had gone there on the pretext of charting my daughter's horoscope, something mooted by my wife during departure from Malaysia. Deva recommended him when I ask to see an astrologer in Chennai the next day before I returned to Malaysia. Supramania Swami was Deva's uncle too.
Two years later I meet my second guru Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram in Malaysia. He offered to initiate me and I took up the offer with my wife. Several weeks later, Agathiyar surprised us both, Tavayogi and me, when he asked that Tavayogi initiate me again. He did as told.
It was only in August of 2008 that Agathiyar explained in the Aasi Nadi reading the circumstances surrounding my visit to see Rengajah Desigar and why I was not blessed. I understood that one had to have a calling to visit gurus of such nature. Mere desires of ours will bring us there but it would not be fruitful or productive. One has to be fated for such events to take place at a specific time. Agathiyar told me to go again saying "Thy shall gain his blessings now." I never went. I was happy with my two gurus.
Today I understand that I had an obligation to fulfill with Supramania Swami hence I landed at his doorstep several days after meeting Rengarajar. I was to help Supramania Swami fulfill his 40 years wish to build a temple. Although the venture was stopped by the mysterious hand of the divine, we went ahead to purchase land and build him a small lodge or kudil. I realized that my destiny was with Tavayogi who was to nurture me further on the path of the Siddhas, taking me on an exploration of the abodes and caves of the Siddhas, something that would not be possible under the care of Rengarajar or even Supramania Swami.
Meeting Tavayogi at the local affiliation of his Kallar Ashram, the Agathiyar Gnana Peedham based in Wisma Keringat in Batu Caves brought me to meet Appana Nagappan, Perumal, Sathya, Bala, and several others. Bringing along the leaflet that I had kept with me, given by Nadi reader Sentilkumar, upon my first Nadi reading, I showed it to him and asked to confirm if it was his. He told me that it was him and that he was to build a temple for Agathiyar at Kallar. He showed me photos of the activities conducted and invited me over. I took up the offer and arrived in India shortly, hot on the heels of his.
A brief stay at his ashram and traveling places with him, bringing me to the jungles, falls and caves of Kuttralam, and the caves of Uthiyur, visiting the ashrams in Ooty and several other temples in Tamilnadu was indeed an unexpected turn of events and was all too much to absorb. I was told that it was all Agathiyar's doing in subsequent Nadi readings upon my return to Malaysia. Agathiyar told me that there was an urgency in me having to get to know him, hence the reason for the journey taking place.
While my solo maiden visit to India was practically a tour of temples, fulfilling the needs of the Nadi and the parikaram, my second visit two years later was an exploration of the world of Siddhas, undertaken together with Tavayogi, learning first hand and gaining experiences for the self. It was a revisit and a culmination of past nostalgic moments for Tavayogi himself, reminiscing his time traveling the length and breadth of India earlier.
Meanwhile, I learned guru bhakti or devotion to the guru from Supramania Swami, who had five gurus. I saw the magnitude of his bhakti towards his last guru Yogi Ramsuratkumar when he brought the Yogi from his samadhi to sit and chant his name with us in the privacy of Supramania Swami's kudil at Tiruvannamalai just some distance from the Yogi's ashram. If Supramania Swami had given me a Diksha mantra before we parted the very first time, he gave me the merits of all the years of his austerities or tavam as I parted with him on my second visit. He soon went into samadhi, passing away in the kudil that we built for him.
Tavayogi who made several visits to Malaysia after that groomed me into doing the homa and abhisegam besides passing on teachings and Yogic practices. Taking my family along in 2013 and later traveling with the AVM family in 2016, we were given the privilege to perform puja and conduct the yagam respectively at the Kallar ashram. This is the biggest recognition for a student from his guru.
Both my gurus in physical form have since left their mortal bodies. Equipped with these experiences, we began to sail the Nile with the Siddhas, with Agathiyar and the deities coming to guide further. True to what Ma said that the Siddha path was one of experience and learning and gaining wisdom or Gnana, when I look back over the years, I come to understand clearly that this is how it had been all this while. It is only one who has experienced the divine who can take the stage to talk about him. As Tirumular, Ramanujar, Ramalinga Adigal, Supramania Swami, Tavayogi and Rengarajar set out to share the bliss that they derived, that could not be contained and had to be spilled over to others, I too take delight in sharing whatever little experiences of mine with readers of this blog. Sharing my experiences through this blog, I encouraged many others on the path of devotion to take a spot on these pages and on my YouTube Channel http://youtube.com/c/ShanmugamAvadaiyappa too with the intent that it might induce and encourage others to explore the path by their own means and in their own good time.