Tuesday 21 January 2020

THE PUZZLE DEEPENS

Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal listens to the problems of those who seek him in private and would reveal that their sufferings, delay, illness etc were due to their past karma or vinai. Then if they accept this idea and ask him how to clear their karma, he would show them to worship or prayer. If they are interested to begin prayers, only then would he tell them to worship the Siddhas. At times he would point someone to the Nadi for further enlightenment on their purpose here. Agathiyar, the most bountiful and compassionate father, comes to enlighten those who sought him, revealing their karma which is the cause of their pain, suffering, and troubles and explaining its effects,  clearing the path and bringing relief to the tired soul by proposing remedies and other measures.

We followed in the footsteps of Tavayogi showing others to do charity and prayers to Siddhas if they came with problems. Tavayogi told me to be professional about it, not to give in to the urge to indulge in advising others, which I did and caught myself in a web of trouble, unknowingly. He asked me to only show them to Agathiyar and step back, as he does. Let them pour their troubles to him. Let him advise rather than us. Many years later he told me that "Give only this much according to the vessel", implying that share, impart or give your knowledge only if there is someone to receive and absorb."

Then when someone turned up at my door with a whole hell of troubles and problems, I told them the same. But they reply that they have already done all that I prescribed from the book. They had been very charitable and religious. But their family business collapsed and they had come to the streets. Why has not their sufferings gone away? Now I am riddled. I am puzzled. The formula did not work in their case. Their suffering continues to this day and we are helpless.

A devotee was hit by a car as she crossed the street after visiting a temple. Someone who endlessly spent his time rebuilding old torn down temples was killed in a tragic accident. Another philanthropist who went out to offer to build several Siva temples lost everything. What is then the cause of their sudden death, fall or continued suffering then? When people come with their domestic problems, and health issues we readily provide them with a solution and an SOP to follow. What about those few who have done their share to society and their faith? Why are they in distress now?

I had sat and spent many hours piecing the puzzles together. Thinking that I have solved it and going into a frenzy claiming to others that I have solved life's puzzles and I have all the answers to every question out there, just when you think you have the answers to life's questions he breaks it. Just when you are becoming comfortable with an answer or idea, he shatters it. He is shattering and breaking every hypothesis, analysis, understanding, and reasoning. I lay the pieces of puzzles in front of all those who come along and ask them to piece them together watching from a distance. When they give up I pick up the pieces and show them how it is done, for I have done it earlier. I groom others using the same puzzle pieces year in and year out. I stagnate. So do my followers. Today I am grateful to him for breaking all the ideas, notions, or answers that I have held on to. Imagine if he does not do that, I would be dishing out the same formula that worked on so many to those who keep coming. If divine does not break the puzzle I shall be living in a comfort zone, servicing people with the standard procedures and they are not going to raise their intelligence anytime.

Life is beautiful in the sense that it brings us to face challenges each day, enriching us. Imagine if you are going to work the same puzzle day in day out, you would become deadwood. Finally, I admitted to Agathiyar that I did not understand a thing and I chose not to. What I cherish is to be in his shadows and serving him all my life. That is enough.