If prior to coming to his path we were devotees who frequented the temples asking favors of the deities, having invited us to his path, Agathiyar showed us another facet of worship and devotion. He threw in a couple of gurus and several upagurus, by which we explored the teachings of the Siddhas and their past including their abodes and dwellings. Having explored the outside world, Lord Muruga, Agathiyar, Ramalinga Adigal, and the Siddhas have brought us to explore within.
What started off as solo worship of the Siddhas in my home, soon included the family members. Later Agathiyar introduced me to new seekers whom he sent over to my home. For ease of identification and sharing locations, I coined the name Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) for my home taking after the location and spot where Tavayogi was asked to set up his ashram after he ended his life of a mendicant, scouting the length and breadth of India. With regular puja that included the ritual of lighting the sacrificial fire or homa, Agathiyar came for brief moments, first through his painting, then a bronze statue that he had directed me to have commissioned and done in Swamimalai. Soon he endorsed the name as Vanam too. When he starts to spend hours of deep contemplation in the small room that we had allocated to him, taking abode in our home, he christens his newfound home as Gnana Kottam. With further devotion and prayers to him, he brings his colleagues from his school of Siddhas along too. He then brings his guru Lord Muruga too who confers on our home a new name Agathiyar Tapovanam.
It was obvious that Agathiyar and Lord Muruga were strengthening the home into a fortress, bringing in many newfound seekers to our shores in worship to the Siddhas. To keep the new seekers notified of the puja we started a Whatsapp group Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM). With rituals and devotion established firmly, taking place every Thursday, every Fullmoon and New Moon days with puja thrown in on all the auspicious days of all the deities, Agathiyar figured it was then time for us to bring balance to this regime that we held steadfast to. He threw in Dhanam, asking us to do charity. For the purpose of posting schedules of our gatherings to carry out charity, we started the Whatapp group Amudha Surabhi (AS). Seeing good response and funds towards our effort in feeding the hungry on the streets, providing groceries to old folks and children homes, and other poor families, we registered our group as Persatuan Teman Setia (PTS).
Agathiyar then enlightened us on the existence of his speech at the Tamil Sangam where he had put forth the purpose in mankind taking birth. To our joy and amazement, we discovered that we were already engaged in and carrying out faithfully the 5 tenets he had spelled out in the days of the Sangam. Thus he endorsed all our good actions through this paper submitted at the meet. Besides that, he regularly kept our spirits up through his numerous Aasi Nadi readings, endorsing further the direction we were taking and the efforts placed towards it.
If before coming to the Siddhas we only looked towards God in the skies, having been told that God resided in the heavens, and peered through the darkness or trying to sight him among the elaborate garlands, dressing, and jewelry that are adorned on his/her statue at the temples, Agathiyar came down from his abode in Pothigai and began to show his presence in numerous ways, bridging the gap that existed all this while. Agathiyar opened his eyes in his bronze statue in our home just as he had opened his eyes in the age-old granite statues at Agasthiyampalli and Papanasam. As my wife says we had paved a bridge connecting the realm of the Siddhas with us with our devotion and prayer, the Siddhas, in turn, bridged the gap between us and the Gods bringing them within our homes too. Soon they showed us their co-existence with us in this physical plane, through numerous miracles and darshans through others. From speaking through an interpreter via their Nadi, speaking through gurus and upagurus, they came through our comrades. Having had a successful tenure and memorable time in complying with the dictates of Agathiyar; working to build on our stock of merits so that we could offset our karma; and bridging the gap between both worlds, soon it was time for us to go solo on this journey and begin the journey and travel within.
By the touch of a button or rather a tedious act of having to remove each telephone number of the members from the Whatsapp group, Agathiyar brought down the very establishment he had helped build. Many were shocked that they were removed from both AVM and AS and came up with numerous theories. But they never realized that what was made redundant was only a group on paper or in digital form for that matter. We are still around and accessible and can be contacted through other means. All things having said, it was now a journey of discovery within, which is the true meaning and state of Gnana, as Agathiyar clarified later. Each man was on his own now, on his own turf, with his guru Agathiyar. The association and organization cannot possibly go beyond this nor take us beyond this. The Lone Ranger who dares to pursuit further shall be met by Agathiyar and taken within.
After closing the groups I felt relieved of a burden and responsibility and was overjoyed because I was able to bring myself to press the button of destruction. Even God who creates and sustains his creation shall have to destroy his beautiful, magical and miraculous creation. This is akin to the Buddhists who painfully draw up the mandala, taking hours and finally, after a prayer, destroy their beautiful creation, reminding themselves and others that nothing is here to stay forever. I felt proud that I had passed the test. But before I could take credit for it and build on my already BIG ego; if I thought that it was a timely move to dissolve the groups, for we had just transited to the newly registered PTS, Agathiyar took credit to dissolving the groups. He made me realize that I was only the tool that took credit for good deeds and took the blame too if I let others down. I realized that it was all his lila or play and we had to go with the flow.
These days, Agathiyar keeps harping on the same note each time he meets us. Go within he says. Ramalinga Adigal too says the same. Lord Muruga commands us to do the same too. Agathiyar tells us to move on and not get stagnated in the daily chores and tasks taken up or given to us. All these are given to us to provide relevant experiences. Once the experience has been had and a lesson gained from it we need to move on. Sadly what we do is recall, and relive the tragedy and sad memories, of these bitter experiences. We should choose to see the happy moments that we have had in the company and association with others rather than hold on to grudges or fret our relationships that had turned sour. On the other hand, having had pleasant experiences, what we do is to remain behind to adore the recognition, prized gifts, and rewards given for our service. Agathiyar, Ramalinga Adigal, and Lord Muruga ask us to open up our hearts to newer things. Hope, belief, faith, perseverance, and patience are the keywords here. We are asks to adhere to these key values in our travel seeking him. Removing first the past karma or relieving the baggage that we have brought along on this journey from the past travels and having picked up additional baggage in this life too, when we stand naked before him, stripped of all ownership to things and doings, only then shall he provide for us. Only when we lose our identity, he gives us a new face and a new name. We then become his spokesman, messenger, and secretary. In return, he comes as father, mother, guide, guru, upaguru, companion, and as signages, and as our thought, and in our actions. We are asked to lose ourselves in the bliss that results in his company.
Hence thinking of pursuing their wishes, I decided to go into solitude. I informed the family and close associates, uninstalled Whatapp and even told those handfuls who frequented my home for prayers, to henceforth carry them out in their homes. Three days into my solitude, Agathiyar tells me not to further the venture now as his Vizha was around the corner and that there were seekers who he needed to see. He added that he shall tell me when the time is right. Although he reminded me to restrict or stop unnecessary communion with others, he reminded me not to shut the door to my home.
Subsequently, I stepped out of PTS too, relieving myself of all association to social bodies and social media except blogging. He told me that he made me leave all the groups for I had now to work on my individual salvation. There were many a time when I told myself that I shall place my pen down, he made me realize that he wants me to be his messenger in dispersing his thoughts via this blog. Even I am surprised by the contents of these posts, ending up reading and rereading them again and again, trying to comprehend the teachings that he subtly has woven in my life and that of others.
Today I tend to love him more and more, day by day. True to what has been told by tradition, God comes in a Godly form, residing in a place allocated to him, usually a temple, where devotees come together as servants to serve and pray, asking for their needs to be fulfilled. Moving from Sariyai, with the coming of a God as Guru, we are introduced to rituals and acts of dharma, serving God as his son or daughter. The Guru then takes us on to the next stage of Yoga, where God as Guru and we are companions. The Guru prepares us for the inner journey, cleansing us both bodily and in mind, preparing and strengthening the vessel for an inner and most powerful journey. If all these while God took a form, going within we encounter the formless God. We have reached our destination. We have come to know the reason for taking birth. Some might be given missions to carry out further. Others might not.
I do not know what is in store for me. I cannot see what is behind the bend or corner. But I have faith in him and his words. I know he will be there for me if I slip and fell or if I lost my way. For now, I shall further follow his dictates. He has put me on a strict daily regime of cleansing my body internally, through a magic portion and certain Yogic practices. Hence explaining my inability to move out of the home, unless absolutely necessary. Also, it explains my reluctance in having visitors to my home. If Agathiyar permits to share this journey within, I shall most gladly post in on this blog.
At this juncture, I take the opportunity to thank my wife who willingly followed my path that was Agathiyar's too, bringing the children along too. She complied with all things said and asked, at times demanded upon her too, without refusal or hesitation. During the days of my reading the books and later from the net, on Siddha medicine and trying to live the way, she would cook up or prepare whatever that was good that I picked from these pages. She was there for me during the times of inner cleansing that led to extensive vomiting and purging. She is a good companion on this journey that neither of us can foresee its results. Only Agathiyar knows and he keeps it close to his heart, lest we get excited and let go of his hand or choose to walk out in fear.
The journey thus far has been unique and customized to my needs. It is purely and solely my experience, with condiments and ingredients added on for flavor from the masters' words and the many other experiences shared by fellow comrades on the path. No one can deny that. It is time you started your own journey too.