Coming to know about the Nadi, and reading it for the very first time, back then in 2002, Agathiyar through the Nadi reader Sentilkumar, revealed my many sins, and dished out a plate of remedies that I needed to carry out, in other words, eat the trash that I had served others in my many earlier births. Having given the remedy he stood aside to observe if I believed in his words and carried out what was stipulated by him. Although he asked me to come into his path and worship the Siddhas and other deities, he only asked to see his Nadi again after three years.
Heeding his call, I set on a sole journey to India to carry out the remedies stipulated in the Nadi. At the end of my maiden pilgrimage, he showed me to my very first guru Supramania Swami whom I met in the village Achaananthal some 8 kilometers away on the outskirts of Thiruvannamalai. Swami and I spend some blissful 5 hours that day as I "accidentally" dropped in on him, under the watchful eyes of Lord Annamalaiyar who was fully visible from his cottage home.
When Agathiyar called me to the path, least did I realize that he had, at that time that unknowing to me, he had come into my life much much earlier. A year earlier my nephew had come over to my home bringing me a message from a mysterious source, that I was not to question at that time, and I was initiated with a Vasudeva mantra. I was asked to observe the Navarathri puja that was around the corner and worship Lord Dhakshanamurthy too. I was told that I shall meet my guru. The prophecy took place when I "accidentally" arrived at Supramania Swami's home on the pretext of seeing the horoscope for my younger daughter. Incidentally, my wife had mooted the idea to have her horoscope drawn up while in India as I boarded the taxi to the airport to fly to Chennai. The divine's play fell in place when Deva who chauffeured me around suggested Supramania Swami, who was his sister's husband, when I asked if he knew any astrologers in Chennai, our next destination before I board the plane back to Malaysia. Incidentally, Raji, the driver who was appointed to me to pick me up on arrival at Chennai, had fallen ill on the day of my arrival, and Deva had to replace him. How do you explain these mysterious circumstances that rolled out a fabulous start to my journey on the road of the Siddhas. Although I had drafted a detailed itinerary before going over, I went with the flow, never making a fuss about all the changes that took place rather "unexpectedly."
Meanwhile back home, my search for information on the Siddhas continued. It brought me to many institutions run under his name. None captivated my attention for long. None could feed my hunger for knowledge and appease my yearning to get to know the Siddhas and their mysterious ways and workings. I did learn many things though from purchasing and reading the printed materials and talks on VCD by Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar of Ongkarakudil whom I had dropped in on several days before meeting my guru Supramania Swami.
Agathiyar then has me meet Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram in Batu Caves where he had arrived to officiate a local affiliate of his Peedham in 2005. I made an appointment to see him and dished out the leaflet that Sentilkumar had passed me. He was sourcing funds for one Thai Veedu Thangarasan M.A. who was to build a temple for Agathiyar in Kallar. I showed Tavayogi the leaflet and asked if Thai Veedu Thangarasan M.A. and he were both the same person. He acknowledged that the leaflet was his. When I continued that Agathiyar had asked me to come to the Siddha path in my Nadi, he told me that I had come to the right place and asked me to frequent the venue and learn from those managing the Peedham. When I told him that it was three years now since I last saw the Nadi, and that it was about time I saw the Nadi again as instructed by Agathiyar, he pointed me to Nadi reader T.Ramesh who was in Malaysia then. Incidentally, Ramesh told me that he was blessed to have read the Nadi and was witness to the spiritual transformation and progression of the family man Thai Veedu Thangarasan M.A into the mendicant Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal. Agathiyar in the reading asked that I receive Diksha from Tavayogi immediately. Both Tavayogi and I were surprised as he had initiated me and my wife with others only some weeks earlier. Anyway, he followed as instructed. After the initiation, the recording on tape of my Nadi reading was erased mysteriously. When a rereading was done several days later Agathiyar did not mention the local Peedham and added on more pilgrimage spots that I was to visit. What I did not know then was that the moment I took discipleship under Tavayogi, the same night after the reading, Agathiyar lifted me up and rerouted me to Tavayogi directly rather than have me knock on the doors of others waiting, hoping and praying for knowledge to be dispersed. Agathiyar paved the way, that night, for me to spend some time with Tavayogi at his Kallar Ashram and experience the life of an ashramite. He paved the way for Tavayogi to take my hand and lead me on an adventure taking and walking the path of the Siddhas literally. Following Tavayogi into the jungles and spending nights in the caves, something I had never ventured before; spending days at his ashram and experiencing Ashram life for the first time; doing rituals that were solely the prerogative of temple priests, both at his ashram and back home; engaging in feeding the poor and hungry at his Ashram and continuing the dharma on home ground; were all too new and very engaging to me.
When Tavayogi tells me Agathiyar came and they spoke I would give a baffled look of disbelief and remain silent asking myself if he was pulling a fast one. I asked that I wanted to see Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal, once. Tavayogi told me it was all possible but asked me if that was what I wanted? What was I to ask then, if not this? What is it that I should desire?
After faithfully remaining a devotee for some 17 years Agathiyar has begun to speak to us continuing the tradition of the Nadi and at times through other devotees. Running through the short span of 17 years in service to him and experiencing many blissful moments in his service I told him recently that I wished to take birth again and again and serve him as I do now. He asked if that was what I desired? I was caught again. He sounded like Tavayogi. What was I to ask then, if not this? What is it that I should desire? I am back to square one. Who can comprehend the mind and play or lila of the divine?
Agathiyar then has me meet Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram in Batu Caves where he had arrived to officiate a local affiliate of his Peedham in 2005. I made an appointment to see him and dished out the leaflet that Sentilkumar had passed me. He was sourcing funds for one Thai Veedu Thangarasan M.A. who was to build a temple for Agathiyar in Kallar. I showed Tavayogi the leaflet and asked if Thai Veedu Thangarasan M.A. and he were both the same person. He acknowledged that the leaflet was his. When I continued that Agathiyar had asked me to come to the Siddha path in my Nadi, he told me that I had come to the right place and asked me to frequent the venue and learn from those managing the Peedham. When I told him that it was three years now since I last saw the Nadi, and that it was about time I saw the Nadi again as instructed by Agathiyar, he pointed me to Nadi reader T.Ramesh who was in Malaysia then. Incidentally, Ramesh told me that he was blessed to have read the Nadi and was witness to the spiritual transformation and progression of the family man Thai Veedu Thangarasan M.A into the mendicant Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal. Agathiyar in the reading asked that I receive Diksha from Tavayogi immediately. Both Tavayogi and I were surprised as he had initiated me and my wife with others only some weeks earlier. Anyway, he followed as instructed. After the initiation, the recording on tape of my Nadi reading was erased mysteriously. When a rereading was done several days later Agathiyar did not mention the local Peedham and added on more pilgrimage spots that I was to visit. What I did not know then was that the moment I took discipleship under Tavayogi, the same night after the reading, Agathiyar lifted me up and rerouted me to Tavayogi directly rather than have me knock on the doors of others waiting, hoping and praying for knowledge to be dispersed. Agathiyar paved the way, that night, for me to spend some time with Tavayogi at his Kallar Ashram and experience the life of an ashramite. He paved the way for Tavayogi to take my hand and lead me on an adventure taking and walking the path of the Siddhas literally. Following Tavayogi into the jungles and spending nights in the caves, something I had never ventured before; spending days at his ashram and experiencing Ashram life for the first time; doing rituals that were solely the prerogative of temple priests, both at his ashram and back home; engaging in feeding the poor and hungry at his Ashram and continuing the dharma on home ground; were all too new and very engaging to me.
When Tavayogi tells me Agathiyar came and they spoke I would give a baffled look of disbelief and remain silent asking myself if he was pulling a fast one. I asked that I wanted to see Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal, once. Tavayogi told me it was all possible but asked me if that was what I wanted? What was I to ask then, if not this? What is it that I should desire?
I started my discipleship under Tavayogi besides being a student of Supramania Swami too. If Supramania Swami lighted the fire of devotion to a guru in me, Tavayogi nurtured the spirit and fed the soul. Tavayogi introduced rituals to me and I simultaneously followed whatever ceremony he did at his ashram, doing them on a smaller and modest scale with my family. Thus I began performing the homam in my home on Thursdays, Full Moon and New Moon days besides simultaneously celebrating the Annual Jayanthi Puja for Agathiyar and its related Sarva Dosa Nivarana Yagam at Kallar Ashram. He taught us Asanas and Pranayama which we later perfected through Acharya Gurudasan and his Kriya Yoga classes.
After faithfully remaining a devotee for some 17 years Agathiyar has begun to speak to us continuing the tradition of the Nadi and at times through other devotees. Running through the short span of 17 years in service to him and experiencing many blissful moments in his service I told him recently that I wished to take birth again and again and serve him as I do now. He asked if that was what I desired? I was caught again. He sounded like Tavayogi. What was I to ask then, if not this? What is it that I should desire? I am back to square one. Who can comprehend the mind and play or lila of the divine?
I await answers eagerly and patiently for since Lord Shiva came in a dream in 1988 and shut me up, Agathiyar did the same recently too. Bringing many to my home to witness the puja I and my family conducted, Agathiyar brought me to share whatever I had learned and experienced with his visitors. I gave way to his devotees to conduct and perform the rituals and prayers so that they shall bring home the legacy of the Siddhas, bring the worship into their homes and their families. I never for once wanted to create a center for others to converge and disperse only to remember Agathiyar the following Thursday. Some watched and began to conduct similar puja in their homes, making their homes the abode of the Siddhas, while others chose to fall back on AVM for their spiritual needs and troubles. Soon I realized that many were becoming dependant on the group and congregation rather than work their way up the spiritual ladder identifying their personal needs and satisfying their individual yearnings. It was time to break their hold on the organizations and let them stand on their feet. and to assist all who stand at our doorway for help and direction. Assisting them is one thing; making them dependent is another. I chose to assist but stopped short of making them dependent. I dissolved AVM and Amudha Surabhi, two groups that were formed to serve and dissipate information on rituals and charity, respectively. It was time to make the lone journey, into the deepest reaches of the heart's cave where the divine dwells in each of us, besides continuing puja and attending to charity on an individual basis. If life teaches us many lessons through our vast experiences, which heeding these lessons shall make one wiser and help break the chain of rebirth, it was now time to explore for ourselves the many new experiences that shall be rendered and revealed while journeying within. These shall become Jnana says Agathiyar.
Lord Shiva, as Agathiyar, Ma and Aiya all have asked us not to question, but to live life to the fullest, taking on the lessons that come our way through the vast spectrum of experiences that we gain in dealing with life and what it offers. These lessons are to be used to bring change in us for the betterment of the self and others. If these lessons are ignored we tend to come back, again and again, to relieve the experiences till we drop all attachment and desires to it.
Lord Shiva, as Agathiyar, Ma and Aiya all have asked us not to question, but to live life to the fullest, taking on the lessons that come our way through the vast spectrum of experiences that we gain in dealing with life and what it offers. These lessons are to be used to bring change in us for the betterment of the self and others. If these lessons are ignored we tend to come back, again and again, to relieve the experiences till we drop all attachment and desires to it.
Riding the rapids and cruising the luxury ship, the divine teaches us all sorts of lessons. As in the "epic journey, faithfully adapted from a 1678 Christian allegory written by John Bunyan, regarded as one of the most significant works of religious, theological fiction in modern-day, Christian faces distractions, challenges, and perils at every turn of the way but ends victorious, with helpful guides, as he stays on the narrow path to the distant Celestial City", we too are taken on a ride, at times joyful and saddening at other moments to test our faith and believe; to see if we still hang on when the journey gets tough and turns rough; to lay out the turf for all our dormant desires to germinate and see daylight. Taking a beating is usual I have come to understand even in the spiritual field as Tavayogi cautioned me in the early days. Thinking that the spiritual sphere was populated by pure souls, I was in for a shock and surprise since whatever evil that arises in the hearts of people in the material world is carried into the spiritual world too. Since I was forewarned by my masters, I was very careful in treading the path, staying away from debate, arguments, etc as instructed by Agathiyar too.
Today I understand that these faces that oppose, belittle and anger us are those very traits that we have wished to face and experience in the realm of the soul even before we took birth. Sadly having forgotten or to be precise having all memories of the soul life erased upon taking birth, we take harm to all that is done to us. At the end of each other's life we are going to come together and hug each other and thank the other for participating in life's drama and feeding us the desired experiences, by creating the circumstances and environment for the drama to unfold. The divine only stands witness to all that unrolls before his eyes.
There is then all the reason to forgive thy enemies right here and thank them for coming into our lives and participating and playing their roles well. Having lived out the experience we move on to others. Life goes on and on till we carry zero vasanas, karma and desires.
The divine is said to perform 5 tasks: creation, sustenance, destruction; veiling and showering its grace. Man as his proxy on earth too performs them to a certain extent. We aid the divine in carrying out his tasks too. We are then apostles and messengers of the divine; secretaries and spokesman too, for what could the divine preach but good. I would love to see many take up this task and join the legion and the league of the Gods.