He stopped me from reading further as I was becoming disillusioned and confused. What was written did not match with what I saw take place. All the reading brought me nowhere. I was going in circles. Neither were there experienced souls who could answer, explain, and elaborate. He came in a dream and put a stop to it all. Lord Shiva asks me to keep my questions to a later date. This was in 1988.
Moving forward, in 2001 he came as Lord Dhakshanamurthy in a painting that was given to me by my nephew to worship. My nephew had received instructions to pass me the Vasudeva mantra too. I was briefed on how I was to observe the Navarathri puja too. All these took place in a mysterious manner. I was told not to question the source. I did as instructed.
The following year I stepped into the Siddha Marga after Agathiyar invited me in through a Nadi reading. The journey continues to this day. Today I am back to reading the books, and browsing the net, after told to continue writing. He gives me the subject matter. I then develop the subject, sharing my minute and whatever little experiences I had and looking for references to the subject from the books I owned and browsing the net. Surprisingly he leads me to the relevant matter without my having to spend hours scrolling through pages of information. After I post it, I stand back and admire his work, his words, phrases, and content. I go over to him and praise him for a beautiful post. I return to read and reread it again and again for it is a lesson for me too. Most of the time the subject is alien to me too. I learn each time I write a post. He is educating me just as he is educating readers of this blog. Many have written to express their thanks. As AR Rahman says எல்லாப் புகழும் இறைவனுக்கே ... all the credits go to Erai.
Today we tend to understand the subject better. All the books make more sense today. The same books that I had in my possession and that I had read earlier but failed to understand or understood differently, brings a new meaning and understanding today. The reason is that all those things said, needed to be experienced. I understand pretty well why Lord Shiva stopped me then. He wanted me to have the experience first and then compare notes with the authors of these books.
Bhagawan Ramana never read much except for Periapuranam, his Bible lessons, and bits of Tayumanavar or Tevaram. After attaining his divine state having gone through a tremendous transformation, he began reading and could associate with what was written. Bhagawan Ramana explains this transformation in BV Narasimha Swami's "Self Realization, The Life and Teachings of Sri Ramana Maharshi", Sri Ramanasramam, 1985.
Formerly I would go there (the temple of Meenakshi Sundareswara) rarely with friends, see the images, put on sacred ashes and sacred vermilion on the forehead and return home without any perceptible emotion. After the awakening into the new life, I would go almost every evening to the temple. I would go alone and stand before Siva or Meenakshi or Nataraja or the sixty three saints for long periods. I would feel waves of emotion overcoming me. The former hold on the body had been given up by my spirit, since it ceased to cherish the idea 'I am the body'. The spirit therefore longed to have a fresh hold and hence the frequent visits to the temple and the overflow of the soul in profuse tears. This was God's play with the individual spirit. I would stand before Isvara, the controller of the universe and the destinies of all, the omniscient and omnipresent, and occasionally pray for the descent of his grace upon me so that my devotion might increase and become perpetual like that of the sixty three saints. Mostly I would not pray at all, but let the deep within flow on and into the deep without. Tears would mark this overflow of the soul and not betoken any particular feeling of pleasure or pain. I had no desire to avoid rebirth or seek release, to obtain dispassion or salvation... in the language of the books, I should describe my mental or spiritual condition after the awakening, as Suddha Manas or Vijnana, ie the intuition of the illumined.
As he mentions "in the language of the books", referring to having read these books later, Bhagawan Ramana found out certain resemblances of what he had gone through in the Ribhu Gita.
Bhagavan's first attendant, Palaniswami, brought a copy to Bhagavan's attention while he was residing at the mango grove near Gurumurtham in 1898. Later in life Bhagavan related how surprised he was at the time to hear an exact description of his own state recited in the Ribhu Gita and that it had been experienced by others and was the bliss of the Self sought after by all true seekers.
(Source: From the blog "An End to Suffering" at http://end-to-suffering.blogspot.com/2006/04/ribhu-gita-essence.html)
The blogger quotes Ramana's reaction to the numerous texts that was read to him, from B.V.Narasimha Swami's "Self-Realization. The Life and Teachings of Sri Ramana Maharshi", Sri Ramanasramam, 1985.
I had read no books other than Periapuranam, my Bible lessons and bits of Tayumanavar or Tevaram. My notion of God (or Isvara as I called the Infinite but Personal Diety) was similar to that found in the Puranas. I had not heard then of Brahman, samsara, etc. I had no idea that there was an Essence or Impersonal Real underlying everything, and that myself and Isvara were both identical with it. At Tiruvannamalai, as I listened to Ribhu Gita and other works, I picked up these facts and discovered that these books were analysing and naming what I had previously felt intuitively without analysis and name. In the language of the books, I could describe my mental or spiritual condition after awakening, as suddha manas or vijnana, i.e., the Intuition of the Illumined."
When Tavayogi came over to my house he passed to all those gather a small booklet that carried the names of the Siddhas and other songs in praise of them. He had several more songs as an annexure, among them the Ribhu Gita. He chose to read and explain these. These songs extolled the greatness of the true Gnani and the merits gained through the humble and simple act of serving food and looking after his needs.
ஞானிகளின் மகத்துவம்
திடஞானி தெரிசனமே தீர்த்தமாடல்
திடஞானி தெரிசனமே தேவ பூஜை
திடஞானி தெரிசனமே செப தபங்கள்
திடஞானி தெரிசனமே செயுமறங்கள்
திடஞானி தெரிசனமே சிவத்தைக் காணல்
திடஞானி தெரிசனமே சிவத்தின் சேவை
திடஞானி தெரிசனமே மேவுவதற்குத்
திரிவிதமா முலகத்து மரிதாம் யார்க்கும்.
வரமான ஞானிக்கு மகிழ்வி னோடே
வளமான போசனமே அளிப்ப தாலும்
திரமான ஞானிக்குத் தேவை யான
திரவியமே சிரத்தையோடு கொடுப்பதாலும்
பரமான ஞானிக்குப் பக்தி யோடே
பலவிதமாம் பணிவிடையே செய்தவாறு
அரிதான மோட்ச சுகம் எளிதே யாக
அடைந்திடலாம் அணுவும் இதில் ஐயமில்லை
ஞானியுடைய அருட்சனையே செய்வதாலே
ஞானபல அடைந்ததனார் சீவன் முக்தி
ஆன பரமானந்த அடையலாகும்
அதன் பின்பு பரமான விதேக முக்தி
தானும் அதால் அடைந்திடலாம் ஆதலாலே
தளர்வு தரும் பவ மீதி அனைத்தும் தள்ளி
ஆனியிலா முத்திநிலை அடைய வேண்டி
அறிஞனுடை அருச்சனையே செய்ய வேண்டும்
Agathiyar too has extolled the relevance in looking after the needs of those on the path of Erai in his "Agathiyar Tatthuvam 500."
போகாமர் படைத்தவன்றான் ஞானிபாதம்
பூசிப்பான் சிரசில்வைத்துப் புவனங் கார்த்தோன்
தாகமாய் ஞானியவன் நினைத்த தெல்லாம்
தலையினால் சுமந்து வந்து தருவான் பாரு
ஏக்கமாய்ப் புவனமெல்லா மெரித்தோன் தானும்
இவன் பின்னே திரிந்திடுவான் இவனைக் காக்க
சாகாத வானவர்க்கும் மனிதருக்கும்
சரண் பணியக் கிடைத்திடுமோ ஜெகத்தில்தானே
தானென்ற ஞானிக்கோர் பிடிதான் பிச்சை
தானளித்தோர் தங்களுக்குப் பலத்தைக் கேளு
கோ னென்ற அகரமொரு நூறு கோடி
கோபுரந்தான் கோடி செய்த பலத்துக் கொடுக்கும்
ஊனென்ற நால் வேதம் சங்கமாக
ஓதியதோர் வேதியர்கள் கோடி பேர்க்கும்
தேனென்ற அன்னமிட்ட பலத்துக்கும் அதிகம்
சித்தாந்தம் வேதாந்தம் செப்பும் பாரே
செப்புமப்பா ஞானி அவனிருந்த இடமெல்லாம்
செம்பொன் மணிக் கைலாச வைகுந்த மென்பார்
ஒப்பிலவன் செய்வதெல்லாம் உலகத்து ரட்சை
ஓங்கியே அவன் பாதம் பட்டவிடமெல்லாம்
தப்பில்லா யாகாதி செய்த இடமாகும்
தானவனைக் கண்டாக்கால் சிவ தெரிசனமாம்
அப்பா கேளவன் வார்த்தை மந்திரமுமாகும்
அதைக் கேட்டால் வேத மென்பார் அறிவுள்ளோரே
இறை ஞானி தனைப் பூசித்தெழுந்து பணிந் தேற்றி
இவன் சரணந் தன் சிரசில் அணிந்து கொண்டு
அறையவன்தன் பாதத்தை நேத்திரத்தில் வைத்து
அவன் பாத தூளியினைச் சரீரமெல்லா அணிந்து
உறை கேந்த புட்பமொடு தீப தூபம்
உபசாரஞ் செய்துமவன் சேட முண்ண
மறையிருளுங் கடுவிருளில் பருதி வருவது போல்
மல நீங்கி அவன் நெஞ்சில் சிவனுதையமாகும்
Agathiyar led by example, when he looked after the needs of Supramaniar (Lord Muruga). This story is told by Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar in his book "Pothrinal Unathu Vinai Agalumappa." He explains the process through which Agathiyar attained the highest state that of becoming one with Erai. This state was made possible to Agathiyar by his Guru Supramaniar (Lord Muruga). All the knowledge to attain the state was made available to Agathiyar by Supramaniar for the sole reason that Agathiyar had provided the space, shelter, and all comforts for Supramaniar to carry on with his penances (tapas) and austerities (tavam) in a past birth. Today I have come to understand that small acts of devotion, sacrifice, and surrender go a long way in bringing us the grace and compassion of Erai. My wife took this birth as a result of her calling out to Agathiyar in pain while delivering her child in a past birth. My daughter was born again, because as a flower girl in her past birth, she had garlanded Agathiyar at Thiruchendur. My other daughter, me, and my wife had served him fruits before we began the day's work of selling fruits on the premises of Kutraleshwar temple in Papanasam in a past birth. As a result of it, we are all born again. Hence we are told that these simple acts of remembering Agathiyar brought us to be born again.
Agathiyar was 60 years of age then when Supramaniar attained the body of Light or Jothi through his austerities or tapas, thanks to Agathiyar looking after all of Supramaniar's needs. Supramaniar promised Agathiyar that they shall meet in a subsequent birth and that he shall return the favor. Here too is a lesson that I learned. The relationship between the Guru and the disciple works both ways. It is never the case of only the student having to wait in attendance and have the guru throw him a bit of wisdom but in fact, all the merits, practice, and conduct of the student too help his guru attain a higher state. Both Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal spoke about how our devotion towards Erai and the Guru helped them achieve a higher and finer state. This satisfied my wonder as to how my tapas could help my guru Supramania Swami rise in his state. Ramalinga Adigal too made us happy telling us that our tapas had helped Tavayogi rise in his state too.
As Supramaniar had promised Agathiyar that they shall meet in a subsequent birth and that he shall return the favor, in the succeeding birth Agathiyar traveled in vain in search of the ideal guru. He eventually met Supramaniar at Kodaikanal, where Supramaniar made him recall the past and as promised in return for all his services in the past birth, blessed Agathiyar and taught him the secrets of attaining the state of Erai. Agathiyar began with performing puja to Supramaniar. By way of devotion to Supramaniar he realized that he had had the greatest gift that was the human birth, which comes by very rarely. Through Supramaniar he came to know himself and the divinity that resided in the physical body. He understood the very Nature that brought him forth and resided within him. With Supramaniar's guidance and blessings, Agathiyar relished the ambrosia or nectar that came about through his tapas. This removed the seven veils to reveal the Jothi in him, hence attaining the body of Light. With this came Bliss, Siddhis, and the state of Deathless-ness. Agathiyar attained the five nature or characteristics or tanmai of Erai namely Creation, Sustenance, Destruction, Veiling and Showering Grace. Supramaniar granted Agathiyar the title Gurumuni and Kumbamuni and sent him off to spread the Siddha way extensively all over the globe, bringing many into his fold. All the Siddhas looked towards Agathiyar as their Guru. The qualities inherent and required of a Guru and his student respectively is beautifully illustrated by the Guru Disciple relationship between Supramaniar and Agathiyar.
If that is the story of how Agathiyar was elevated to the state of Erai, P. Karthigayan in his "History of Medical and Spiritual Sciences of Siddhas of Tamil Nadu", writes about how Supramaniar (Lord Muruga) came to be worshiped as Lord Muruga. His writings are based on Supramaniar Gnaanam 200, Thiruvilayaadal Puraanam and Kandha Puraanam amongst many other references. Karthigayan mentions that Supramaniar, who was referred to as Kumaran in many old Tamil literary and religious works, had saved the Tamils from the invading Avunas led by Surabanman. Supramaniar mentions that as a warrior, he fought the war with Surabanman, henceforth he was known by that name. Karthigayan surprised me mentioning that the Avunas were the present-day Chinese.
In his translation of selected verses from Supramaniar Gnaanam 200, Karthigayan writes that Kumaran then became wiser and a saint who went by the name Supramaniar after the war. He joined Siva's Nandhi monastery and learned to drop his ego and pride; observed severe penances or tapas; mastered his senses; and picked up yoga; and attained the highest state that of omniscient. Subsequently, he mastered his breath and went into the state of mounam and thus came to be addressed as Muruga. He went through the painful process of transformation of his body into that of "air like", a death-defying, life-prolonging, and ever-youthful feat after consuming the ambrosia, attained through the science of the Siddhas. Muruga in turn taught Siva this secret and was henceforth called Swami Naathan. Siva too attained a luminous body. Swami Naathan became king of Paran Kundram and ruled the Tamils henceforth.