Writer Balakumaran wrote a conversation between Mani and a force that called itself Atheenam, in his "Thirupoonturuthi," by Visa Publications, Chennai, 1995, that also sent a strong message to me. I have had this book with me for some time now gifted by a devotee but never managed to read more than a few pages. Thinking that I would read myself to sleep this afternoon, I opened up a page that captivated my attention and had me read further. This is what stole my attention.
கோடியில் ஒரு மனிதனுக்குத் தான் இது கிடைக்கும் மணி.
One in a crore shall receive this.
உனக்கு இது கிடைத்திருக்கிறது.
You have received it.
மனிதரின் வாழ்க்கை முறைகள் வேறு.
Men's lifestyles vary.
இங்கே உனக்குக் கிடைத்த வாழ்க்கையில் விதிமுறைகள் வேறு.
Yours is different.
தொடர்ந்து பயணப்படு மகனே.
Continue to journey, my son.
நெல் முனையளவும் கர்வம் கொள்ளாதே.
Never let Arrogance in.
எல்லாம் தெரிந்து விட்டது என்கிற இறுமாப்பும் வர வேண்டாம்.
Do not let the thought of having known everything in.
நீ உழைத்துக் கற்றதில்லை.
You did not work for it.
உனக்கு கிடைத்தது.
It was given to you.
இறை உன் மடியில் மனம் நெகிழ்ந்து இட்ட பிச்சை.
God placed it in your lap.
ஏன் உனக்கு இட்டார்கள் என்பதற்குக் கரணம் இருக்கும்.
There is a reason for doing so.
உன் மூலம் அவர்கள் ஏதோ காரியம் செய்ய நினைக்கிறார்கள்.
They want to work through you.
உன்னை மீறி உன்னால் நடக்கிற அதிசயங்களில் மூல்கிப் போகாதே மகனே.
Do not get enchanted by their doings that are beyond your control.
உன் கர்வத்திற்கு வளமைக்கு அதிசயம் நிகழவில்லை.
It does not happen to your dictates and likes.
எவருக்கோ உன் மூலம் உதவி கிட்டுகிறது.
Someone gains through your actions.
எனவே அமைதியாய் இரு.
Hence be quiet.
என்னவொ உனக்குள் நடந்து விட்டது என்றுதான் உனக்குத் தெரிகிறது.
Know that something is happening around and within.
என்ன எதனால் என்பது தெரியவில்லை.
What and why is an unanswered question.
தெரிய வேண்டுமெனில் காத்திரு.
If you want to know you shall have to wait.
மிகச் சரியான நேரத்தில் உனக்குச் சகலமும் தெரியவரும்.
You shall know at the right time.
தெரியவரும் முன்பே எல்லாம் தெரிந்து விட்டது என்கிற கர்வம் வராது பார்த்துக் கொள்.
Do not let the arrogance of thinking you know it all get to your head even before you arrive there.
உனக்கு நீயே பொய்யாய் இருந்து விடாதே.
Do not cheat yourself.
எல்லா நேரமும் விழிப்பாய் இரு.
Be Awake (Aware) always.
உண்மையோடு இருக்க விழிப்பாய் இருக்க வேண்டும்.
To stay truthful you need to be always Awake (Aware).
மூளை உறங்கினால் ஏகப்பட்ட பொய்கள் சொல்லத் தொடங்கும்.
Lose your Wakefulness (Awareness) and your mind shall begin to lie to you.
இதுதான் ரொம்ப முக்கியம்.
This (Wakefulness and Awareness) is truly important.
நெல் முலையளவு கூட கற்பனை செய்யாத மனம் வேண்டும்.
Do not let imagination run wild.
சத்தியத்தை உண்மையை இறுக்கிக் கொண்ட உடனே அதற்குச் சோதனைகள் வரும்.
One who begins to hold on to honesty and truth shall be tested.
உள்ளும் புறமும் பொய் சொல்ல வேண்டிய நிலை வரும்.
He shall be cornered to tell lies.
மனம் மிகச் சக்தி வாய்ந்த விஷயம் மணி.
Mani, the Mind is truly powerful.
இது மனிதர்களுக்குத் தெரியவில்லை.
People do not realize it.
மிக பெரிய சோதனைகள் இனிமேல் தான் உனக்கு வரும்.
You shall begin to face great chalenges.
உன் மனோசக்தியின் பலத்தை அடர்த்தியை இறை சோதிக்கும்.
God shall test your perseverance (to uphold honesty and truth).
All that took place in recent times that had me wondering what the heck was going on, where Lord Muruga came to caution me of the divine play of Lord Siva, Indran, Bhogar, and Agathiyar that was running its course and not to fall for the deceit and game, asking me to be watchful and aware and to know to sieve and separate the truth from the false, and that came to light eventually giving me a better understanding, now has been confirmed by the writings of Balakumaran. Agathiyar also reminded me to watch my behavior, lest the energies or Sakti released drop back to the lower regions. Then all his effort on me shall go to waste, he warned. Both he and Lord Muruga have ordained me to be still and do nothing, சும்மா இரு. So too did the force in Balakumaran's story tell Mani.
"சக்தியின் அசைவில் கோடியில் ஒரு மானிடருக்கு இப்படி விழிப்பு வரும்."
Awareness that comes with the movement of Sakti happens in but only one in a crore."
"என் விழிப்பு எதற்கு?"
"Why me?"
"காரணமின்றி எதுவும் நிகழாது."
"Nothing happens without a reason"
"என் காரியம் என்ன?"
"What is mine?"
"சும்மா இரு. விழிப்பு கொடுத்ததே வழியும் கொடுக்கும்."
"Be still. That which awakened you shall show you the way too."
This is exactly what Agathiyar told me when I asked him if there was anything further by way of practice that I should adopt or carry out. He replied that there was none. "The energy in you shall do its work", he replied. I guess I have done enough both good and harm. It was an age of exploration wanting to know what was there in drinking beer and liquor, and smoking tobacco, and what men saw in women. I left it all behind after I found it did not give me any pleasure as made out to be. As I had much time on hand as a bachelor back then I picked up reading about culture and tradition and the reasons we follow them. These readings brought me to look at the age of Puranas or mystical stories of Gods and their triumphs. Learning from these books, I took up home puja to these deities and Yoga. It became a daily routine and regime then, with the daily dash of a temple visit added. Then there was a 14-year gap where I was asked to drop all the questions that arose in me. The Vasudeva mantra I received which was supposed to break the knots in us, brought an end to my self-exile. The calling came to see the Nadi the following year and as I was called to the path of the Siddhas I took up the call to worship them. I began to explore the Siddhas and their path. This was made more fruitful with the coming of Tavayogi. Just as the temple priests call out to the temple Gods to turn towards us and bless us in our lives through hymns, chants, and songs, when one comes to the Siddha path he connects with Agathiyar when he takes up Kriyai personally. The Siddhas draw the bridge down to come across traveling within, following the breath or Prana. The breath connects with the Prapanjam then. After Tavayogi's demise, Agathiyar took charge completely of my life. Today I stand indebted to them. Through their tutorship, and grace the JeevAtma eventually connects with the ParamAtma. Once connected both are one. Dvaita gives way to Advaita to become One, the Yegan.