At times I surprise myself with how fast and immediate I could drop a thing and just as equally take up another. If I bought a shoe or a pair of slippers I would walk out of the store wearing it. If I bought a shirt or pants I would immediately wear them upon reaching home. I would place every bit of a holy item given to me on my altar and start praying to it immediately. I dropped all questions the moment Lord Siva asked me to in a dream in 1988. So too did I drop taking meat, fish, and eggs immediately one fine day in 1998. I immediately started on the Vasudeva mantra given by my nephew who was but a tool delivering it back then in 2001 without questioning its source. I blindly repeated it. I took up the worship of the Siddhas immediately upon reaching home after seeing the Nadi the following year. I worshiped the Yantra and recited the mantra given by Dr Krishnan the moment I received them. I took up the mantra that Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai gave me just as I bid farewell to him on our very first meeting in 2003. I took to chanting the mantra given during initiation by Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram the moment I returned home in 2005. Though I was hesitant to engage in rituals that I saw as the domain of the priestly group, I did carry them out after Tavayogi asked me to. Agathiyar came to relieve the fear in me telling me that I was not doing it for myself but for the Prapanjam and all of creation. I began to practice the Yoga and Pranayama techniques that Tavayogi taught me and several others in 2007. I took up the mantra that Agathiyar gave me in the Nadi in 2009. I did not doubt its efficacy to do wonders, alas I did not even want to know what it does, although Agathiyar listed out a long list of its benefits in the Nadi reading. I had his bronze statue commissioned in Swamimalai according to his wish, and that of Loba Ma and Lord Murugan's wish too which I came to know later, and worshipped him in 2010.
Over the years I saw the benefit of these Yantras, Mantras, and Yoga practice. The Siddhas came through the Nadi to guide me often what Tavayogi left out or chose not to disclose. I was drawn deeper and deeper into the path and its methods, ways, and practices. Agathiyar began healing many. Then Agathiyar sent many to my home in 2013 to watch, participate, and learn Siddha puja. He brought the love in us out as we gathered together in the name of Agathiyar. He brought out the compassion in us when he sent us to pass on food and aid to the hungry and unfortunate. In 2018 Lord Muruga asked for a temple for him too, something Agathiyar had asked in my first Nadi reading. This was a test I came to know later as Agathiyar revealed that the temple they meant was my home and my heart. Having equipped us with the methods, ways, and means to connect with the Siddhas and bring forth love and compassion for others, he had me dive within, in 2019, yet another test to see if I held on to the AVM group that grew and flourished, taking up puja and charity. Then the final test came to see if I was attached to his figurine. He had me part with it which I readily did as in its place he promised that he would bring down the Prapanjam in 2023. Later he comes back home after spending some months with devotees accompanied by Loba Ma in the form of another bronze statue. Lord Muruga, Dhanvanthri, Lord Siva, Bhogar, Bhagawan Ramana, Yogi Ramsuratkumar, Supramania Swami, Tavayogi, Hanuman, Kali Ma, and Karupanasamy came to bless us often. Just as the mountain is back to being a mountain my home is back being a home.
Today he has me do nothing. Throughout these years he had shed so much light and had me shed so many things. He revamped me and my thoughts, nourished me, nurtured me, and molded me. Where would I be without him and my gurus? I am indebted to them. How do we repay them? They do not want our food or prasad, nor our money or a temple. They want us to allow them within. They want us to prepare an abode for them in our homes and later within. They want to live in us, breathe through us, dine with us, and spend time with us. And so did Agathiyar spent two days with us sharing his feelings and aspirations for his devotees, with Loba Ma, Sri Krishna, and Ramalinga Adigal, coming to us briefly. They want to bring us to new frontiers that the physical body is incapable of. They want us to become Siddhas too.
If life is basically about pain and pleasure, there is this tiny moment that sits snugly between these two. It is bliss. This is what Tavayogi asked me to prolong the feeling if possible. This is what Agathiyar defined as bliss within the pain in my lower back that crippled me for some 2 1/2 years after the Muladhara was activated. This is the bliss that Agathiyar mentioned, revealing to me years later, the first sign of the movement of Kundalini having taken place as I lay sprawled on the floor of the bathroom landing and moved as does a snake, both in bliss and joy running concurrently. Finding this space is having arrived there.