FINDING ONE'S IDENTITY

There comes a time in one's life where he or she starts to question various happenings taking place in their lives. It could be a result of or after a series of tragedies. It could be a sudden urge to know one's purpose in life and in taking birth. It could be a thirst for knowledge of the world beyond us. It could be an interest in the mystical sciences. It could be the golden question "Who Am I?" 

He then begins to knock on the doors of establishments, monasteries or homes of Gurus for an answer to life's questions hoping to gain an answer. He seeks to know his identity elsewhere, wishing that the gurus or establishments would reflect or portray his Self. But sadly he does not see his true Self here but instead is shown the faces of others. He gets involved with the Guru and the establishment forgetting his true purpose in coming there that is to know "Thy Self." We are so engrossed with what goes on around us that we fail to watch within, listen to the Self speak, gain Self-Realization. After seeking the answers in these places or seeking his identity hoping to see himself in the mirror, he comes to realize that the answers are not out there but hidden well within him. The paths of Sariyai, Kriyai, Yogam were drafted to lead us from external to within. Once we go within, the path of Jnana dawns. All is answered. One comes to know the Self. 

Neale Donald Walsch in his "Conversations with God, Book One", Hodder and Stoughton, 1995, pens down God's conversation with him beginning with an answer to a question of his and many others: How does God talk and to whom?

God answers: "I talk to everyone. All the time. The question is not to who do I talk, but who listens?" God tells Walsch he is not talking but rather communicating with him. "I do not communicate with words alone. My most common form of communication is through feeling. Feeling is the language of the soul. I also communicate with thought. I also use the vehicle of experience as a grand communicator."

God tells him that when feelings, thoughts, and experience fail, finally God uses words - and belief me his words can be quite stern and harsh. We have gone through that because we ignored all the signs he gave through feelings, thoughts and our experiences.

God tells Walsch: "Words may help you understand something. Experience allows you to know. Yet there are some things you cannot experience. So I have given you other tools of knowing. And these are called feelings. And so too thoughts."

"Now the supreme irony here is that you have all placed so much importance on the word of God, and so little on the experience."

God chides us for placing little value on experience. He gets through an important message to us.

"Many words have been uttered by others in my name. Many thoughts and many feelings have been sponsored by causes, not of my direct creation. Many experiences result from these."

Hence we learn that we should not blame God for everything.

"The challenge is one of discernment. The difficulty is knowing the differences between messages from God and data from other sources."

God questions whether his messages are heeded?  "Most of my messages are not. Some because they seem too good to be true. Others because they seem difficult to follow. Many because they are simply misunderstood. Most because they are not received. My most powerful messenger is experience and even this you ignore. Especially this you ignore."

God seems to be quite sore with us, "Your world would not be in its present condition were you to have simply listened to your experience."

God asks us to listen to our experience. "The result of you not listening to your experience is that you keep reliving it over and over again."

He says he will neither force nor coerce us for we have been given a free will - the power to do as we choose - and he assures us that he will never take that away from us.

But the reminder here for us is to use it wisely or be prepared to come back again and again to correct the wrongs.

God gives Walsch a surety. "My messages will come in a hundred forms at thousand moments across a million years. You cannot miss them if you truly listen. You cannot ignore them once truly heard. Thus will our communication begin in earnest. For in the past you have only talked to me, praying to me, interceding with me, beseeching me. Yet now I talk back to you, even as I am doing here."

The soul is here to gain experiences that come about from hidden desires and vasanas. In "The Little Soul and the Sun", a children's parable adapted from "Conversations with God", Hampton Roads Publishing Company Ins, 1998, Neale walks us through another conversation between a Little Soul and God.

"The Little Soul knew itself to be the Light but it wanted to experience itself as Light. And God said that if it wanted to know the Light it must also know the Darkness. For how else can one know Up without Down, Hot without Cold, Fast without Slow? Then the Little Soul understood that in getting to know Who It Really Is, it would have to know the opposite. And so the Little Soul embarked upon an adventure very much like that we all share on Earth."

Knowing who it was was not enough. The Little Soul wanted to be who it was. God ask him, "You mean you want to be Who You Already Are?" The Little Soul replies that it wanted to feel what it is like to be the Light.

God goes on to explain. "Well, there is nothing else but the Light." But as the Little Soul wanted to know itself as the Light amidst the Light, God tells him, "Since you cannot see yourself as the Light when you are in the Light, we will surround you with darkness which is that which you are not." God explains that in order to experience anything at all, the exact opposite of it will appear, reminding the soul for instance, not to shake his fist and raise his voice and curse the darkness when he is surrounded with it. "Rather be a Light unto the darkness and do not be mad about it. Let your Light so shine that everyone will know how special you are."

The story goes on to narrate how the young soul who knew he was Light but wanted to experience it, chose to pick a desired act that he would like to do, from a list of many, once he is on earth. He chooses the act of forgiving. Another soul immediately steps up to join the soul in fulfilling its wish by being the perpetrator so that the young soul can then forgive him. They both come down to earth to live out their desires. This desire triggers a chain of events, a learning process takes place and several experiences are recorded, whereby the soul becomes enriched through these experiences. We, being Light in essence, for want of experiencing it, had darkness and all opposites created for us. As all the souls are perfect, many wanted and volunteered to come down to help us gain the experience. Thus we had all known each other earlier. We had planned to be together here. Those who needed a particular experience chose to come early while others remained behind to join later. We have worked out all things at the level of the soul and wait for it to take shape and happen or act it out on the physical plane - earth. We create the situation and the scenario allowing all our wishes to take shape. What we are going through is what we had asked for. We had asked for this experience and hence are enacting the role and taking on the experiences. Hence when we begin to understand that everything comes to take its respective form and place according to the wishes of the souls and the divine law of nature (God), we can settle down and accept all that is seen.

Similarly, Annie Besant in "Avatara-s", The Theosophical Publishing House, 2002, wrote,

How would you learn right if you knew not wrong? How would you choose good if you knew not evil? How would you recognize the Light if there were no Darkness? How would you move if there were no resistance? The forces that are dark, the forces of the rakshasas, of the asuras, of all that seems to be working against Isvara, these are the forces that call out the inner strength of the self in man, by struggling with which the forces of Atma within the man are developed and without which he would remain in Pralaya forevermore. Isvara must draw out men's forces by pulling against their strength making them struggle in order to attain and so vivifying into outer manifestation the life that otherwise would remain enfolded in itself.

In this universe there is no evil; all is good that comes to us from Isvara but it sometimes comes in the guise of evil that by opposing it we may draw out our strength. Then we begin to understand that these forces are necessary and that they are within the plan of Isvara. There is only one will in the universe the will of Isvara and all must conform itself to that will, all is conditioned by that will, all must move according to that will.  

Annie Besant and Bhagavan Das in their "Sanatana Dharma" wrote,

The Upadhis are only brought into existence to serve the purpose of the Jivatman moved by desire to taste these worlds. The wish to experience is said to lead the Atman to form organs for receiving and transmitting to himself the experience. His wish lies at the root of each and matter obeys his impulse and obediently molds itself into a form suitable for the exercise of the life function. The jivatman is a conscious being and that consciousness seeking external experience fashions sense and sense organs for contact with the outer worlds. 

Today I understand why Agathiyar said in the Nadi that there were many wrongs I had done but it was also his will that it should take place and that I needed the experience too. Ma and Aiya too have mentioned that one's experience gain from the lessons in life that comes as learning to us will indefinitely become wisdom or jnana for others. Later Agathiyar tells us that our experiences will answer the questions we hold, asking us not to question.

Betty J Eadie in her book "Embraced by the Light" understood the earth to be a place where we schooled, adds that whatever we become of here is meaningless unless it has brought benefit to others. In serving others we grow spiritually. If Betty says that we are here to school, Neale says that we are already well equipped with sufficient knowledge and have only to apply it here, giving life a purpose and making it holy. And so Agathiyar gave us the five tenets to uphold and live for a purposeful and enlightening life.

Why is having experiences so important? Bringing oneself to spiritual practices, the Tava Kanal or as Agathiyar says, "The radiant heat [tejas tapah] of these spiritual experiences, also greatly expand the holding sack of causal body [karanam sharira], making it possible for a quick release [mukti] of the bound soul [bandhit atama]."

COMBATING THE ENEMY

Annie Besant in "Avatara-s", The Theosophical Publishing House, 2002, wrote,

Never does the spiritual teacher withhold knowledge because he grudges the giving. He is hampered in the giving by the want of receptivity in those to whom his message is addressed. It is not the withholding of the teacher but the closing of the heart of the hearer; not the hesitation of the teacher but the want of the ear that hears; not the dearth of teachers but the dearth of pupils who are willing and ready to be taught.

They are waiting, waiting, waiting with tireless patience in order to find someone willing to be taught, and when one human heart opens itself out and says, "O Lord teach me", then the teaching comes down in a stream of divine energy and floods the heart. Unlock the heart and throw away the key and you will find yourselves flooded with a wisdom which is ever waiting to come in.

It might seem that we are faced with numerous problems and obstacles and unending woes and troubles. We might ask why me too? If you notice well all these troubles come in a package one after another. If we consult an astrologer he would take a peek into our stars and tell us the reason that the planets are not favorable to us. All our past karma and its fruit and results are stacked in a domino fashion waiting accordingly for us to reap them. To facilitate the stormy weather and downpour of troubles at certain points in our lives and particular periods of our lifespan, they are well placed in place and distributed for the show to begin once we arrive then and there. The planets assist in this placement and in meting out justice. It is not that the planets are malefic but that they are tasks to mete out specified punishments or lessons for how else can our karma be dealt with in a systematic and organized way? The late Dr. Krishnan was the only astrologer who asks us to invite Saturn for he comes to pave the way for all our karma to be wiped clean as a slate giving us numerous hardship and misery during his tenure. We are asked to appease the planets then. By setting us off on a pilgrimage, pay respects to deities, asking to give out handouts and gifts, serve people, serve food and give clothing, etc we are forcefully brought to do puja and charity, which otherwise might not be our spoon of medicine. Burning us in the fire and heat of sufferings he leaves us more strong, polished and shining.

Annie Besant explains the reasons and brings us to accept duality in all things. 

How would you learn right if you knew not wrong? How would you choose good if you knew not evil? How would you recognize the light if there were no darkness? How would you move if there were no resistance? The forces that are dark, the forces of the rakshasas, of the asuras, of all that seems to be working against Isvara, these are the forces that call out the inner strength of the self in man, by struggling with which the forces of Atma within the man are developed and without which he would remain in Pralaya forevermore. Isvara must draw out men's forces by pulling against their strength making them struggle in order to attain and so vivifying into outer manifestation the life that otherwise would remain enfolded in itself.

Annie Besant says that "if everything around us was smooth and easy, we would remain supine, lethargic and indifferent." Just as Tavayogi tells us that we will never come to a realization if we did not receive blows from the whip, she too says that "it is the whip of pain, of the suffering, of disappointment that drives us onward and brings out the forces of our internal life which otherwise would remain undeveloped."

In this universe there is no evil; all is good that comes to us from Isvara but it sometimes comes in the guise of evil that by opposing it we may draw out our strength. Then we begin to understand that these forces are necessary and that they are within the plan of Isvara. There is only one will in the universe the will of Isvara and all must conform itself to that will, all is conditioned by that will, all must move according to that will. 

He has given his very self to be our self and our life. Ask him to accompany us in these troubled times. He will come.

THE GURU'S LOVE

In response to the last post on Guru Kripa, Acharya Gurudasan wrote a beautiful observation.

Prey that has fallen in the tigers mouth has no escape. In the same way, the one who has gotten the grace of the Guru shall never be forsaken. Even if we forget the Guru, the Guru never leaves us. All those who might feel a little left out especially after dissolving the group, they have nothing to fear. They're all firmly on the path and Agathiyar will take care of them and bring them what's needed at various points in their lives for their spiritual evolution. 

These are true words for the guru does not forsake or desert the child. A momentary absence shall strengthen the bond further. Time and space might separate the guru but his essence lives in us forever. A guru's love is without condition, boundary, and change writes Sister Preeti at http://yogananda.com.au/c/Preeti_love.html. A guru "will say or do something that causes a certain flip to happen which leads that person to the next stage. The guru is just there doing whatever the dharma of the moment demands", Ram Dass writes in his "Paths to God - Living the Bhagavad Gita". There is no ploy or deceit. Neither a plan. Just plain living in the moment.

"Most of the time gurus use Siddhis to break a person loose at the point where he or she is ripe for a certain change to happen" adds Ram Dass. When a devotee is a freshie, the guru uses his Siddhis to impress him and bring him into the path, as what Supramania Swami, Tavayogi and Agathiyar did. When we are ready and all ripe to be picked, all that is needed is a tap and we fall into their hands. Siddhis are generally used to shake up people and to bring them out of their dream state into Reality. The guru showers his grace on one and all. It's just whether we are receptive to it. The guru comes to activate these receptors in us. Once the receptors are cleansed of the years of dirt that has plugged it, the cosmic energies flow freely. This is possible through the look, thought or touch from the guru. 

To be touched by a Master’s hand only requires inner attunement, not a physical touch. We want to become attuned so we can be receptive to the Guru’s touch. Read more: http://yogananda.com.au/c/Preeti_love.html

Erai's grace and blessings are then received in leaps and bounds.

Ram Dass in his "Paths to God - Living the Bhagavad Gita", describes this path further, one that he adopts and follows too.

Guru Kripa or the method of the guru is one form of bakti practice. It is the specific form of bhakti that focuses on the guru, and on the guru's grace or the guru's blessings." The relationship with the guru is totally an internal matter with its essence being love. The guru is a being who awakens incredible love in us and then uses our love to awaken us out of the illusion of duality.

Quoting Ramana, Ram Dass explains further.

The glance of grace from the master is enough to awaken the devotee from the sleep of ignorance to the knowledge of the real. The guru as a separate entity exists only within the illusion of separateness ... the minute the method of the guru has worked it's awakened you, and it ceases to be anything at all. It has an automatic built-in self destruct mechanism you use it until it opens you in a certain way and then you see through it and let go of it. The guru becomes irrelevant.

Tavayogi showed me Agathiyar and stepped aside exactly as to how Ram Dass describes a guru becoming irrelevant. A true guru will know when he should step back and let his student grow. He will never have his student under his shadows forever; rather he would release him having given him all the tools for his survival while traversing the unknown territory that he has taken a step into. Along the way he meets upagurus, Ram Dass adds, "who are like marker stones along the road that say go this way, go that way." "They are teachings rather then teaches," he says, "We can take a teaching here and a teaching there and then go our way, instead of getting hung up on them," he adds. Besides these gurus on the physical plane, "Then there are the astral guides too, beings on all those other planes as well... helping us along in various ways... all wanting to help us get free."

Ram Dass says "The very essence of the relationship between a guru and a devotee is a sense of complete utter trust", something Lord Muruga is insisting now from us. "We trust that whatever the guru does will be for our own good." "The love for a guru is a process of surrendering," says Ram Dass of his love towards Maharajji. "I learned to let go into whatever he thinks best for me. I surrender to his version of my storyline in place of my own." Instead of writing our own script for life let him write out the script of our life. It would definitely be a good read.

As Sister Preeti gives us insights into the heart of a guru and writes, "We have come so far already. We have a practical tool for affirmation. It takes the will and willingness to change", Agathiyar himself came as the Moola Guru and as Sister Preeti wrote, Agathiyar too prescribed two tools namely "dutiful actions and absorbed meditation on God' for a balanced life, that has brought us closer to him. It is in our hands now to reciprocate his love.

The guru does not see himself separate from his disciple. Once the awakening begins you can't help but feel a profound love for all the beings who have helped you along the way. This is what the Satguru does. Ram Dass shares an episode that elaborates on his relationship with his guru that became less and less rooted in dualism as time went on.

Sometime after I had first met Maharajji (Neem Karoli Baba) I was sitting across the courtyard from him, and I thought to myself, what am I doing here? That body sitting over there isn't what its all about. At that moment, Maharajji called an old man over, and said something to him, and the man came running over to me and touched my feet. I asked him why did you do that? He told me Maharajji told me, go touch Ram Dass feet. He and I understand each other perfectly. I used to sit in front of Maharajji... I felt like he had created me out of his mind in order to play with me."

Ram Dass guides us into Guru Kripa:  "Coming to the guru, invite him into our hearts, install him in the altar within the heart, offer yourself to him, sing, chant, pray, love him as you love yourself, open up to him, watch and slowly become - Him."

"He is the one who is the doorway," says Ram Dass. Today many have taken Agathiyar has their guru and follow his path at ATM. They too are seeing miracles and changes taking place in them and their surroundings. We are grateful to the lineage of gurus who look over our shoulders 24/7. As Yogananda Paramahansa wrote as the last line in his "Autobiography of a Yogi", “Lord,” I thought gratefully, “Thou hast given this monk a large family!”, I am blessed with a large family of Agathiyar devotees too. I only closed a Whatsapp group but have never shut my heart out to all nor have I shut the door of my home on others. You are always welcome to visit Agathiyar at AVM. I shall be waiting at the door to invite you in.

THE MAGIC IS IN YOU

A good friend and staunch devotee of Agathiyar on reading my ending piece in the post 'Being Alert While on the Path' responded via a Whatsapp message. Understanding the difficulty and obstacles that come in the way of doing charity and good deeds, he who leads a small group in bringing charity and service to the needy in the suburbs of New Delhi, came to comfort me, sharing his experience. But he is determined to move on irrespective of the challenges.

Being alert while on the path..... yes its painstakingly true that many do not contribute.... time or money for the cause of creation. I have tried it in my group...contributing to the cause is a distant dream. But nothing can be bigger than the cause. There will be demons in the way who mistle the voice of angelic forces. But the resolve must go on.....more ppl will c reason in the cause and join.

Our vedas and shastras talk about service and charity as a path to higher dimensions and to avoid the experience of patal lok. Agastya also talks about all lokas. His message must b spread. Service and charity must continue.... even one member is an addition....if the cause is understood....rest will leave as per their journey.

Those handful of devotees whether in any part of the world must get to share, hear experiences...the blog is one way...maybe a live youtube once a month or so....will bring energy ...

Another dear friend who does a similar service in Johannesburg wrote to comfort me too.

Dear Shan aiya. I read your last 2 posts as well as your friend's response with acknowledgement of the same experience...it may be easier to draw water out of stone than to cultivate a mindset of charity and serving "others".  I too often feel like a lone ranger in my neck of the woods. You did not fail Shan aiya, you melted many hearts. We may not be able to save the whole world  in our limited capacity but we may be able to save "some one's" world. 

I was pleased to receive such comforting words and words of appreciation from fellow devotees of Agathiyar. Many others from the AVM family wrote to express their appreciation too. I am glad that they understood the reason for me closing the Whatsapp groups as detailed in my previous post at https://agathiyarvanam.blogspot.com/2019/10/creation-destruction.html.

Acharya Gurudasan wrote, "Beautifully written uncle. And nice analogy to the Tibetan mandala practice" and sent me the following video clip.

Another young aspirant wrote,

"I was so confused why uncle removed all of us from the group but now all the answers had been answered in the text above..I'm not sure if I'm ready for the next level uncle but for sure I can promise I will.never leave Agathiyar Airlines..that is everything for me and ..more than our life.. As uncle say reducing karma, reducing negativity, from imperfections to perfection is our goal now ... Thank you so much uncle for everything ..very much blessed indeed."

Another note from another friend in New Delhi,

"Once surrendered fully...in the flight I  believe everything his our fathers play..helping and guiding each one of us in unique ways..Always our gratitudes with you."

A message from a senior devotee of Agathiyar reads as follows,

"Appa has used you and our AVM to ignite the fire in all of us in our quest towards spiritual knowledge and enlightenment. With Appa's guidance and blessings, all his children are on the right path. Thanks ayya for showing us the right path. You writing's was the inspiration."

From an ardent devotee comes the following understanding,

"Wonderfully penned Anna. Agathiyar Appa currently urges to clean all our karma/ serpents and that’s where we can see so many vasanas raising it within the group members... And the same time Appa teaching us this is an individual journey when it comes at 1 point of time, that’s where detachment happening and it’s shrinking and make us contact with only those with the same level in this journey. And that also need to leave when the times come. People might think it’s too early when they considering their age but for Agathiyar Appa, he only looking at the soul where the age not counted. So those accepted able to continue the journey in Agathiyar Airlines and those can’t will depart earlier before reaching the Kingdom. In the end people fail to lose their desire in this material life (which is impermanence). Only a few able to achieve it and to protect them they use KAAVI as a tool to separate them from this world/people.

Another young maiden wrote, 

"True Anna. Now cleansing process going on. I really can feel that. Appa is preparing us for the detachment process. Thank you, Anna. Without You, we won't be able to experiences all this. We thank you from the bottom of my heart. We are ready to clear off our karma, Anna."

Another friend from Pune wrote about how the post mysteriously explained many issues on hand.

Sir I was little lost and was extremely worked up due to settling in new place and facing new challenges. Thanks to your post which described my situation perfectly and a way out too is provided. Appa must be reminding me about it through you.

Another friend wrote, "Its a beautiful meaning & such a wonderful msg Uncle. Thank You So much for the Sharing."

Another senior devotee wrote, 

"Very well said Aiya, by coincidence, just now was reading a reply by Prakash Swamy to a question, why do we cry in spite of knowing that all born in this world got to depart. I shall share his answer which in line with your post."

She shared the following.

'இவர் இன்னார்' என்று பெயர், கல்வி, செல்வம், பதவி, புகழ், சாதி, மதம், இனம், மொழி, ஊர், தேசம் என்று எத்தனையோ விதமான அடையாளங்களால் அறியப்பட்ட, போற்றப்பட்ட, கொண்டாடப்பட்ட, கொஞ்சப்பட்ட, தூற்றப்பட்ட, வியக்கப்பட்ட, வெறுக்கப்பட்ட, ஆதரிக்கப்பட்ட, ஒதுக்கப்பட்ட, குறுகிய வாழ்நாளின் பல கணங்களை நேரடியாகவோ மறைமுகமாகவோ பகிர்ந்துகொண்ட அவ்வுயிர் வெறும் உடலாக, பிணமாக, புதைக்கவோ எரிக்கவோ படக் காத்திருக்கையில், இறுதிச் சடங்குகளைத் தவிர நாம் செய்யக் கூடியது ஏதுமில்லை. 

இந்நிலையானது 'என்னால் முடியாதது எதுவுமில்லை' என்ற நமது இறுமாப்பிற்குக் கிடைக்கும் மரண அடி. நமக்குப் புரியாத, நம்மால் கட்டுப்படுத்த முடியாத, நம்மை மீறிய பிரபஞ்ச நிகழ்வுகள் எத்தனையோ உள்ளன என்பதை நமக்குத் தெளிவாக உணர்த்தும் அரிய கணங்கள் இவை. 

மனிதராகப் பிறவியெடுத்ததன் உண்மையான பயனை நாம் அறிய இவை உதவிகரமாக இருக்கும். 'எனக்குத் தெரியவில்லை' என்று தன்னடக்கத்துடன் வாழ்வை 'உள்ளது உள்ளபடி' அறிந்துணர நாம் தயாராக, திறந்த நிலையில் இருந்தால்! 

அவ்வாறு இல்லாது, காரண அறிவின் குறுகிய வளையத்தைக் கடந்து வெளியே வரத் தயாராக இல்லாதோர், அடுத்த மரணத்தின்போதும் வெறுமனே கதறி அழத் தயாராக இருக்க வேண்டியதுதான்.

Sanjiv Malhotra, a dear friend, and comrade on the path of the Siddhas sent me the following Guru Stotram or Guru Gita from the Uttarakhandam of Skanda Purana,

Dhyan moolam Guru murti

Puja moolam Guru padam

Mantra moolam Guru vakyam

Moksh moolam Guru Kripa.

Meaning:

The root of meditation is the form of the Guru

The root of worship is the feet of the Guru.

The source of mantra is the words of the Guru

The source of Liberation is the Guru's grace.

Another verse from the above goes,

Guru Brahma Guru Vishnu

Guru Devo Maheshwara

Guru Sakshat Param Brahma

Tasmai Shri Gurave Namah

Vivek Ravindranath, at https://www.quora.com/Why-do-Vedas-say-Dhyana-Moolam-Guru-Roopam-asking-one-to-meditate-on-Guru, explains the meaning and relevance of these verses.

The Skanda Purana mentions the grace of a Guru in Guru Strotram, known as Guru Gita, in the form of a dialogue between Shiva and Uma (Shakti):

"Dhyana Moolam Guru Murti.

Puja Moolam Gurur Padam,

Mantra Moolam Gurur Vakyam,

Moksha Moolam Guru Kripa"

He says in the Bhakti marga, Kripa is key to salvation and names the kinds of Kripa.

Ishwara kripa - Grace of God

Shastra kripa - Grace of the Scriptures

Guru kripa - Grace of the Guru

Atma kripa - Grace of the Self

One Kripa will beget all others….

Advaita focuses on Atma kripa, Samkhya and Yoga focus on Guru Kripa, Purva Mimamsa on Shastra Kripa, and Dvaita and Vishishtadvaita focusses on Ishwara Kripa. But irrespective of the paths and darshanas, the role of the guru is pivotal in achiving self knowledge. 

So there can be many ways to achieve the ultimate Goal of Hinduism… the answer to “Who am I?” Vivek goes on to narrate a wonderful story to explain the importance of the Guru.

The Stone Soup

A kindly, old stranger was walking through the land when he came upon a village. As he entered, the villagers moved towards their homes locking doors and windows. The stranger smiled and asked, why are you all so frightened. I am a simple traveler, looking for a soft place to stay for the night and a warm place for a meal.

"There's not a bite to eat in the whole province," he was told. "We are weak and our children are starving. Better keep moving on."

"Oh, I have everything I need," he said. "In fact, I was thinking of making some stone soup to share with all of you." He pulled an iron cauldron from his cloak, filled it with water, and began to build a fire under it. Then, with great ceremony, he drew an ordinary-looking stone from a silken bag and dropped it into the water.

By now, hearing the rumor of food, most of the villagers had come out of their homes or watched from their windows. As the stranger sniffed the "broth" and licked his lips in anticipation, hunger began to overcome their fear. "Ahh," the stranger said to himself rather loudly, "I do like a tasty stone soup. Of course, stone soup with cabbage -- that's hard to beat."

Soon a villager approached hesitantly, holding a small cabbage he'd retrieved from its hiding place, and added it to the pot.

"Wonderful!!" cried the stranger. "You know, I once had stone soup with cabbage and a bit of salt beef as well, and it was fit for a king."

The village butcher managed to find some salt beef . . . And so it went, through potatoes, onions, carrots, mushrooms, and so on, until there was indeed a delicious meal for everyone in the village to share.

The villager elder offered the stranger a great deal of money for the magic stone, but he refused to sell it and traveled on the next day. As he left, the stranger came upon a group of village children standing near the road. He gave the silken bag containing the stone to the youngest child, whispering to a group, It was not the stone, but the villagers that had performed the magic."

"So just like that, we all have the recipe for the soup of the soul…within us… The guru just Gives us the stone of meditation… But the magic is not in meditation, it is in realizing the Magic of the self that was always right in us", ends Vivek Ravindranath. 

SHARING DIVINE EXPERIENCES

The path of Jnana is to experience both the ordinary and the extraordinary and to share it with those keen to pursue the same path. It is an accumulation of all the earlier paths namely Sariyai, Kriyai, Yogam that one has tread upon, gaining insights and knowledge, and gaining experiences and reaping its benefits, finally standing at the threshold of Jnana. He becomes wiser and more settled, having lived out his ambitions, desires, likings, etc and dropping the grabbing, the exploitation, the miserliness, etc, now standing void and empty to receive what the divine desires to gift him. The scores of experiences have molded him into a better person, more compassionate and kind, losing selfishness and replacing it with thoughts about the welfare of others. He now pleads with the divine for the welfare of others rather than seeking that his individual desires materialize.

He is a Jeevan Mukta, one who has accomplished all that he desired and has devoted his life henceforth to do the work of Erai. He has built a rapport with the divine, that of a companion now.  If earlier he had to rap hard and loud on the door to be heard, now he gives a gentle tap and it opens up for him to enter anytime. Soon the door will forever be ajar to facilitate his movement between both worlds. He does not need to visibly engage in activities of the world but only needs to place a prayer for the well being of one and all. His prayer is heard by the divine and the divine responds accordingly. Many a saint have engaged with the divine and shared their divine miracles not at large assemblies but in the midst of devotees as and when required. Through their writings that took the form of hymns and songs, they appealed to the divine for the benefit of others and shared their experiences.

These experiences stand as proof of divine existence. If these songs were merely sweet to the ears initially, these days it brings a deeper understanding and does something within the self bringing unexplained tears of joy and bliss to the soul that resides within. Occasionally sudden outbursts of cries accompany bodily movements that are beyond the control of one. That is how it is with songs of Ramalinga Adigal too. His Arutpa brings his experience to us and we can associate with his mystical experiences to a certain extent. We understand him better after having a glimpse of these experiences too. In the chapter, "Arunachala Honoured by Thirumurais", from "Ramana's Arunachala - Ocean of Grace Divine", by Sri Bhagavan's devotees, Sri Ramanasramam, 2000, it is written, "There are faith, love, and surrender, and whoever sings his songs is affected with the same feeling", on Jnanasambandar's composition and rendition of songs in praise of Arunachala. We continue,

In Appars hymns we see his deep love and piety for Arunachala; in these hymns he professes again and again his unswerving love and his unceasing meditation on Arunachala. With great gratitude he discloses the immense bliss and grace that Arunachala has bestowed upon him. In "Thiruthandagam" Appar describes Arunachala as the fiery bodied supreme.

Supramania Swami told me that all he saw towards his last days, was a fiery hill. Hence he closed up the only window that opened up to a full view of Arunachala. As he sat at his bed place next to the door of his kudil, he saw siddhas, munis and rishis going about their daily chores and rituals on the slopes of the hill, all of which might sound absurd and unbelievable to us common people. He even saw into the future and named several others who in present times were elsewhere living a normal life, live and walk amongst the divine sages on the Holy hill.

In "Thirukkurunthokai", Appar with melting gratitude praises Arunachala as the lord who absolved him of all his karmas. In the next "Kurunthokai", Appar invites the whole world to participate in his good fortunes.

Sundarar regarded the divine as his friend singing praises on him too.

Bhagavan Ramana would listen with rapt attention to selections from Manikavachakar's "Tiruvachakam" recited by devotees. His whole frame would melt with tears gushing down his cheeks, standing as the very embodiment of devotion and surprising those who only saw him as a jnani immersed in deep samadhi.

Though the four poet saints have sung about the lord residing at various shrines yet when they praise Arunachala they reach the summit of devotion and take the reader along with them.

"Bhakti begins in wonder a sense of awe in the presence of God's beauteous creation", writes P.Thirugnanasambandhan in his "The Concept of Bhakti", University of Madras, 1971. He beautifully charts the awesome journey.

The sense of awe and wonder gradually develops into emotions of admiration, gratitude, and reverence. Gripped with a sense of wonder, the devout man views with inexpressible delight the handywork of God in Nature and is filled with adoring reverence for its mighty author on whose commands the heaven and the earth stand poised in their respective orbits.

"The concept of bhakti is as ancient as the Rg Veda", we are told, "with passages indicative of devotional feelings in it." "Religion is concerned very much with the personality of God", writes P.Thirugnanasambandhan, "whereas pure mysticism is concerned with the inward enjoyment of God in essence."

The religious mysticism of the Alvars and Nayanmars is deeply devotional. The saints are soaked in love with the personality of God and his superhuman deeds. Wonder, awe, love, and faith mingle with one another to work up an alembic of the purest intensity of self-giving and seeking God for its own sake.

How does this take place?

P.Thirugnanasambandhan quotes Madhusudanasarasvati from his "Bhakti Rasayana", "As a result of various religious observances, the mind becomes supple and flows like a stream into God. Bhakti gradually rises from a state of sadhana or means on to sentiment and love."

The author refers to Sri Rupagosvami while tracing the development of Bhakti in aspirants.

First arises faith; then follows attraction and after that adoration. Adoration leads to suppression of worldly desires, and the result is singlemindedness and satisfaction. The grows attachment which results in an ebullition of sentiments. After this love comes to play.

Narada shows us a way out of Maya that is the source of an endless cycle of birth and death says P.Thirugnanasambandhan. Avoid unholy association, seek the company of men of large hearts and become selfless. Develop an uninterrupted flow of love towards God. Being invoked thus he at once reveals himself and fills his devotees with his grace. When there arises Sraddha or belief that there is a moral governor of the world who regulates the destinies of souls according to the immutable laws of karma, gradually he ceases to perform prohibited acts and begins to perform more and more acts prescribed. Even the acts that he performs, Karmayoga, he learns to do without attachment to the fruit which they may produce but in a spirit of dedication.  He then adopts certain sadhanas. The companionship of pious men produces a transformation in one's attitude to things of the world. Next follows occasional contemplation alternated with worship. Constancy in worship leads to Ruci or a feeling of enjoyment of the life of devotion. Guna mahatmaya asakti and rupa asakti is then followed by puja asakti, various forms of attachments, to his majesty; grace and beauty and worship respectively. In these forms of attachment the devotee is possessed with the sentiment of awe and wonder and stands as it were at some distance from the lord giving expression to his insignificance and sinfulness on the one hand and the majesty and holiness of the lord on the other. This is followed by smarana asakti or attachment to the memories of the lord. By listening to the glories of God or Sravanam; praising and chanting his glories or Kirtanam; constant reflection on his glory or smaranam; resorting to and paying obeisance to his feet or padasevanam;  worship or arcanam; offer obeisance or vandanam;

What follows is dasya asakti or  dedicated and deep sense of service at the feet of the lord; sakhya asakti or invoking the lord as a friend; vatsalya asakti or yearning of a child for the moon, and kanta asakti or that of a lover as displayed by Appar, Sundarar, Jnanasambandar and Manikkavacakar respectively. Complete consecration of the self in service or self-surrender or Atmanivedanasakti results then. When the devotee completely identifies with the will of his lord, he loses his separate existence in the wider existence oof his lord. He attains the state of tanmaya asakti. This is the sprouting stage of divine love growing into the state of parama viraha asakti, as in lovers separated. This culminates in the devotees' realization of divine presence in himself as well as outside him and verily lives, moves, and has his being in Him. This state cannot be described but only experienced. 

BEING ALERT WHILE ON THE PATH

"Every saint has a past; 

Every sinner has a future."

Richard Schiffman in his "Sri Ramakrishna – A Prophet for the New Age", Paragon House, 1989, writes about how Ramakrishna handled his disciples. He loved them, and was patient with them as they were all young, and forgiving. He saw in them youthful dedication and energy, earnestness, and sincerity, the very qualities that had fueled his own journey to god.

Writes Schiffman,

"He wished to nurture and bring to fruition these divine qualities within them. Ramakrishna through the purity of his vision saw through the thin veneer of personality and perceived directly the divine spark yearning for expression deep within these spiritual aspirants."

"Once he had seen that spark nothing that happened could convince him that it wasn't there. Once he had welcomed someone, he could never let them go, whatever came to pass. The contradictions, the shortcomings, the stumblings along the way, the thousand weaknesses that flesh is heir to, didn't matter. Only god mattered - god struggling fitfully within, yearning to be free of the bonds of the flesh."

Schiffman continues further.

Each soul was an open book for him, and he knew all of its dark secrets and all of its bright possibilities. Ramakrishna did not measure a man by the same yardstick that the world uses. He saw how the best of men are rifled through with hidden failings, and how even the worst have the bright seed of redemption within them. It would not be an exaggeration to say that Ramakrishna had peered behind the curtain of the puppet theatre and observed the mother at work pulling all the strings that man in his ignorance imagines he holds himself. It was a vision that burnt to ashes any temptation to lay blame to judge or to condemn. The very act of seeing all was the act of forgiving all. Even to speak of forgiveness is too harsh; for in a world where god alone acts, what is there to forgive, and who is there to be forgiven?

But the cosmic vision did not make Ramakrishna indiscriminate in his dealings. The heady transcendence of good and evil, which the seer experiences when he perceives that god himself has manifested as both, did not in any way blunt the masters abilty to distinguish between the two when he returned again to the realm of duality in which his devotees functioned. Indeed he always insisted that of all men the spiritual aspirant has to be the most discriminating in his choice of environment and companions. The good inspire one to pure deeds and exalted thoughts while the bad drag one into the depths of illusion and have to be avoided at all costs. God is in the tiger no doubt. But the man who embraces the tiger on that account will surely come to regret doing so, the master would tell his young devotees. 

Here are a few words of caution from Ramakrishna. Schiffman writes,

The master taught that those who live without spiritual light completely enslaved to the beast within are to be avoided at all costs by the person who aspires for a higher life. Yes god is in all beings but some had turned their backs so totally on that inner divinity and lived in such a suffocating and loveless darkness of spirit that they were at least for the moment effectively beyond all hope or healing. Ramakrishna would have nothing to do with them. 

But if you showed the smallest glimmer of compassion or truthfulness, gentleness or reverence, sincerity or remorse, then a cartload of sins would be forgiven and you are welcomed with open arms. Only the stony coldness of indifference could not be forgiven. 

Reading Richard Schiffman's account of Ramakrishna, we understand what Agathiyar is doing to us too. Schiffman describes exactly what is happening in our circles too. We have come to learn that Agathiyar sees only our souls and not our character, habit, and faults. He is here to save our soul from returning to the vicious cycle of birth and death again and again. He is here to bring an end to it. Hence he has roped us all in, making the call to all those who might be interested to listen to what he has to say. Many left, some stayed on. Those who left were curious onlookers who became disinterested in working for merits and gains that would go a long way to offset the baggage of karma that we each brought along, but instead came for instant remedies, lucky draws, surprise gifts or gift vouchers. Those who stayed behind were put through numerous tests. Many dropped out. Those who remained behind now came face to face with the toughest question - whether they would want to surrender completely to the will of God. Some said they did, superficially or without understanding the depth of the surrender asked for. Some were still tied down to their responsibilities or entwined in the net of troubles. To them he asks to come another day, giving them time to complete their worldly responsibilities or work on their existing problems. Those who were ready were elevated and tasks with more divine work. Many who heeded and took up Agathiyar's call and faithfully hanged on to him, today stand out as icons and role models for those fresh on the path. 

I started the journey with the calling from Agathiyar to come to the path of the worship of the Siddhas in 2002. But it was no different or alien to what I had been following all this while. If prior to this I had frequented the temples and worshipped the whole pantheon of Hindu Gods and Goddesses, both at the temple and in our homes, after coming to the path, my worship did not change drastically; neither did I abandon all the Gods for the Siddhas. Agathiyar asked that I include the Siddhas too in our prayers. I was given a painting of Agathiyar to start worshipping by Sivabalan who brought in the Nadi reader, after Agathiyar told me to worship him too in my very first Nadi reading. The Nadi guru Sentilkumar on his part, gave me a small booklet that carried a compilation of the names of the Siddhas and he started me off with puja to the Siddhas as I returned another day to conduct a puja for the Nadi or Nadikku Dhanam, paying homage to the Siddhas and their Nadi that was instrumental in revealing my past, present, and future. Following that initiation into Siddhar Puja, I continued reciting these names at home.

With the coming of Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal into my life in 2005, I was asked to conduct the homa which I did with guidance from him. When Agathiyar came as a bronze statue I was asked to perform libation to him or Abhisegam too. If prior to this we were mere spectators at temples and our homes, watching or engaging the priests to conduct and perform these and other rites on our behalf, now we took to devotion and prayers and performing and conducting these rites for our betterment by ourselves. The divine took notice as we took heed of the numerous instructions given by both Agathiyar and our gurus. We began to bridge the gap between the divine and us. From a servant or follower of the Hindu faith as in Sariyai, we moved to perform the rituals entering the next stage of Kriyai. Together with prayers and puja we were instructed to carry out charity too covering Karma Yoga too. Then he brought us to understand and perform Yoga asanas and Pranayama bringing us within the reach of the path of Yoga, sending masters, gurus and exponents of these arts at the right time or when we were ready for it. Today as we stand at the threshold of Jnana, the divine and the Siddhas have asked us to minimize our time and resources in worship and in carrying out the rituals and drop all that we learned, emptying our self to receive Jnana that is bestowed by the divine once we surrender our body, mind, and soul to the divine spirit that lives in us as a tiny spark. With the coming of Jnana this spark shall glow and shine and burn with the luminosity similar to that of Erai. We await with open hands for Agathiyar and the Siddhas to bring us to the state of a Jnani and cut the cycle of birth and death.

Along the way, we learned many valuable lessons that cannot be found in books on what to do and what not to do too.

Agathiyar and the worship of the Siddhas encompass all forms of worship and include the myriad of deities, gods and goddesses. We are told not to alienate other faiths, beliefs or worship and rituals. If some norm or practice by others does not conform to the Siddha teachings, Agathiyar has told us to let it be. He never corrects nor does he meddle in others business. Stating several instances of nonconformity or falsehood, he goes on to let it be. So does he expect us too. He has asked us to stay focused on the job on hand given and tasked by him periodically. He came on sternly and with a strong-worded reminder to some devotees to mind their work on hand and not engage in debate, or be disillusioned by what was going on elsewhere.

He has asked us not to question further telling us that during our course of life and the experience it has to offer, we shall learn and receive the answers to all our queries in good time through these experiences.

Prior to this Ma, knowing that we were faithful to the Siddha path, came and told us that the path of the Siddha or Siddha Neri was one of learning or padippinai. Our individual experiences will become another's Jnana. We are told in the scriptures that we are souls seeking experiences in this world. Carrying desires, we take birth at the right time and venue conducive to the germination of these vasanas or seeds of desire that we carry. We take the DNA, body and gender and find ourselves being born in a family, race, and nation that man has labeled and identified. We go through life and its pleasures and its disappointments, trying to figure it out. When the thought arises as to what our purpose is in coming to take this birth, we then venture to know its secrets. These secrets were revealed to us by the grace of Agathiyar and the Siddhas and that of our gurus in physical form and the divine.

Agathiyar reveals to us that the Siddha path is not akin to that of devotion or bakthi where crowds amass in hundreds and thousands. His path will shrink in numbers leaving only those who can take the heat to carry on his noble teachings.

He initiates many things and finally comes to break all forms of attachments towards it. For instance he brought me to worship him, the Siddhas, Ganapathy and Lord Siva. Later his guru Lord Muruga budged in into our lives quite unexpectedly. Agathiyar led us to worship Ma as Vaallai too. Even before he came through the Nadi reading to start us on his path and journey, he had directed me to chant the nama japa of Lord Vishnu and worship Lord Dhakshanamurthy. He shared his moola mantra "Aum Shrim Aum Sadguru Pathame...." to chant and share it with others too. He brought us to chant the Arutperunjhoti mantra too. He brought us to perform libation for him, carry out the homa at our homes and in selected temples. Then he asked that it be reduced in scale or given a rest. From all external forms of worship, we began to move inward and within. But he allowed us to go back to doing rituals if it necessitated as the Siddhas themselves went back to the drawing board performing a Yagna in response to our plea that Tavayogi should survive his ordeal. They saved his life then.

If in the past he went to the homes of devotees where they were given the privilege to carry out libation and light the homa with their family and friends, he soon directed us to stop that too.

He brought us to team up and serve the poor and unfortunate too. This noble deed is being carried on to this day, with his encouragement, surveillance, and supervision.

I think we have broken the code to the formula as to how the Siddhas go about bringing us out of the turmoil of planetary life to move into their realm of peace and quiet and bliss. With a calling, they awake us from our deep slumber. They put us on rigid regimes and practices to discipline us. They ask us to replace our personal likes and desires for the yearning and desire to know God. We take on the worship of Siva for instance. Then having traveled the journey with Siva, we are reminded that we need to drop even our love and hold on him to go further. They get us to drop our attachment to forms and names that were the very tools we needed initially at the start of the journey.

The aim of life is to attain a divine life and state. But to achieve that one has to cross numerous hurdles. This is where we need the hand of the Siddhas and the divine himself to guide, and lead us back home. To travel this road desire or yearning for the divine comes as a sandal to protect our sole (and soul too) from harm's way, from being hurt while trending the path of thorns and sharp stones that is ignorance, arrogance, and ego. Upon arriving at the destination the sandals is discarded and burnt to ashes for we then stand on firm solid and safe ground where petals are showered all the way to God's chamber. The desire for God too is dropped or is lost as we merge into him to become one with him and become him.

Pambatti sings,

அசையென்னும் செருப்பின் மேல் அடியை வைத்தே
ஆங்கார முட்காட்டை அறவே மிதித்தே
ஆசையெனும் துர்க்குணத்தில் கனல் கொள்ளுதிக்
காலாகாலம் கடந்தோமென்று ஆடாய் பாம்பே

while Tirumular sings the following,

வாசியு மூசியும் பேசி வகையினால்
பேசி யிருந்து பிதற்றிப் பயனில்லை
ஆசையும் அன்பும் அறுமின் அறுத்தபின்
ஈசன் இருந்த இடம் எளி தாமே

ஆசை யாருமின்கள் ஆசை யாருமின்கள்
ஈசனோ டாயினும் ஆசை யாருமின்கள்
ஆசைப் படப்பட ஆய்வருந் துன்பங்கள்
ஆசை விடவிட ஆனந்த மாகுமே

Following in their footsteps, I decided to close the Whatsapp groups that were initiated and started many years back. It is akin to that of the Buddhist monks painstakingly creating the divine mandala, only to destroy it after they worship it.

It is also akin to that of the Japanese Pufferfish, using its fin draws beautiful ornate circles, on the sea bed to attract, court and engage passing females. Once the female accepts the courtship, it moves in (into the design) to inspect the masterpiece, lays its eggs, and the male fertilizes it. The female leaves, leaving the male to guard the eggs. The male then destroys his lovely creation.

My farewell message in the Amudha Surabhi group has come to reflect these too.

Agathiyar took time to spelled out the ways and means of saving our souls. Agathiyar surprises us with the message and assurance that all of us shall eventually reach the state of Jeevan Mukti. But we need to come out of Maya first. If all this while we have been working on the body that is only a sheath or covering, adorning it with cosmetics, clothing and ornaments, bathing it, feeding it, and praising the self and each other and inflating the ego, now he wants us to work on the soul. He wants us to take responsibility for our actions, and change accordingly, only then the soul comes out of Maya. The soul needs to grief over the sufferings of others. Then compassion begins to well in us. It's only when the soul feels the pain of another that it shall come to and remain on the path of the Siddhas. We need to work on this. 

Bringing us to understand our role and true purpose in taking this birth, Agathiyar slowly brought us to understand the soul within and work on it too. We understood the soul to be the bridge that connected the body with the spirit. He brought us to strengthen the soul or gain Atma Balam by using the body as a tool. If initially we were told to gather merits or points by carrying out acts of dharma and service, leading to an accumulation of good karma that can be used to offset and balance those wrongs done intentionally or otherwise, slowly he brought us to realize that beyond and above collecting Bonus Link points that can be exchanged for gifts later on, these acts of charity serve the very purpose of dissolving the stone-hearted who never gave a second glance or look at the plight of the poor and hungry. If through worship the soul cried for the grace of the divine, his blessings, or arul and darshan or vision, now by doing charity, his soul now griefs for the pain and sufferings of the a small section of society who are exposed to continuous suffering and misery. Then his glance falls on the sufferings and pain of animals too. Ramalinga Adigal went a step ahead and it pained him to see the plants and crops wither. Compassion arises in the hearts. Only when the soul griefs for the sufferings of others shall one come out of Maya says Agathiyar. The day we win over Maya and its grip and hold on us, is the day we could possibly come to the fold of the Siddhas. The day compassion arises in us is the day we gain access to the Siddhas.

Hence the Siddha Margam is not for the masses as seen in Bakti and the temples, says Agathiyar strongly. It is definitely not for window shoppers and spectators. It is not for people who come to fulfill their material desires. I pointed out the need to serve through my blog writings revealing the reasons as told by Agathiyar. I have begged, pleaded and came out harsh on those who chose to watch rather then help. Yet I could not melt those hearts. I could not trigger the compassion in them. My charm did not work on them. I dropped many from the group for their indifference to the plight of the poor and to my requests. 

I have failed in trying to bring more people to do service to our fellow mankind. My next course of action would be that of Ramalinga Adigal's too, "Vanthen Kadai Virithen. Vanguvaar Illai. Selgindren. I came with my wares. Sadly there was no buyer. I shall leave." As Ramalinga Adigal locked the doors to Satya Nyana Sabai, I shall bring the shutters down on Amudha Surabhi. We are moving to Siddhivalagam. 

GROWING & FLOURISHING

Srinatha Raghavan posted the following on fb a few days ago.

Baba Nanak was a hard task master and He was unforgivably exacting when someone accepted Him as their Spiritual Master. Towards the rest, He would behave like a loving Mother, but with His Disciples He would be like a strict Father.

Once someone asked Him, "Babaji, why are so strict with your Disciples and not with your Followers?"

Baba Nanak replied, "The later are following as per their own need, understanding or wish, but the former I have chosen myself, so they can someday lead, hence they need to be heavily disciplined, so their position of a Sardar, doesn't get to their heads."

Saints of the past never favored a following but rather came to work a miracle and moved on their way. Only during their final years did they settle in a place that would have people gathering around them and claiming ownership to the guru. The Naynamars did not have a following; neither did the Siddhas. But today all this has changed. Just as we are proud to be seen patronizing outlets selling branded items, people have taken to patronizing huge spiritual movements that rather than help break the ego only build on it further. 

When I was asked to come to the path of the Siddhas, I went seeking to know more about them. But existing establishments could not appease my hunger for knowledge about the means to their worship. Agathiyar then sent me unknowingly to Supramania Swami. He was to become my very first guru. He sent Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal who was into the Siddha path to me to nurture me further. While Supramania Swami never ventured beyond Thiruvannamalai, preferring to be with his family and worshipping Erai and his gurus, attending to the occasional seekers, seeking to know their faith through astrology, Tavayogi was destined to bring the word of the Siddhas to the masses within India and abroad. While the divine who initiated Supramania Swami to build a temple came to stop him later; the same divine tasked Tavayogi to build a temple cum ashram that has seen completion at Kallar. The divine who asks me to build one too surprisingly has decided to shelf the plan. Earlier in 2009, Agathiyar who tasks me to commission his bronze statue, a replica of that of his granite statue at Agasthiyampalli, and have it placed at the Mritiga Brindavanam of Saint Raghavendra, asks to stay at my home while awaiting the completion of the Bridavanam. But surprisingly Agathiyar stayed put for good at my home and had someone else furnish his statue for the Brindavanam. Who can comprehend the mind of the divine and his lila?

Srinatha continues, 

Akka Mahadevi the great Mystic Poetess sang, "O Lord! I sought your love and you gave me pain instead. But it took a long time for me to realize that both are one and the same."

Ah! What a beautiful realization it is, as very few get to experience the real fragrance of love, which is pain.

Agathiyar said the same, that it is in pain that there is bliss or anantham, asking me to bear with it. Soon we become accustomed to it and it does not bother us no more. We win the battle.

The spiritual path is a lone journey. Initially, we need a physical guru, shown to us, to show us the way and then later the divine itself comes to take us into its fold and works wonders in us, transforming us internally. A story is told of Guhai Namachivayar of Tiruvannamalai and his student Guru Namachivayar. Once Guru Namachiyar explained that he was putting out the fire that engulfed a curtain at the Chidambaram temple when questioned by his guru as to why he kept slapping his thigh. The guru knew his student was ripe with jnana, seeing that his student was eligible and ready to take on the role of a guru himself, told his disciple to leave for Chidambaram immediately. Guru Namachivayar refused to leave for he had a strong attachment to his guru. He appealed to stay and serve his guru. Finally, when the guru commanded him to leave, his student relented, only after the guru told him that he will meet him at Chidambaram. To Guru Namachivayar's surprise as he entered the chamber of Lord Siva his guru gave darshan as Lord Siva himself! A true physical guru would know when to let go of his students. 

There comes a time when a true guru will have to sever all ties with his student so that he can grow further and find his own way and journey and not be dependent and hold on to his guru forever. Just as the student would find it difficult to depart, it hurts the true guru to see their students leave but he too has to let go. Similarly, I have closed the umbrella group Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) that took on the name Agathiyar Tapovanam Malaysia (ATM) and later Agathiyar Kudumbam Malaysia (AKM) and its offshoot and working group Amudha Surabhi (AS). I felt that it had served its purpose well, showing newcomers to the path of worship to the Siddhas and also the various ways and means to carry out acts of charity. Now they have to carry on either individually or form new groups and venture out to spread the word of the Siddhas and the acts of Dharma. This is how the path grows and flourishes. This is how the followers shall grow and flourish too. 

While Supramania Swami introduced me to devotion to both Erai and guru, Tavayogi showed me Agathiyar and stepped back. Agathiyar, in turn, bestowed me with Jnana. I am grateful to these wonderful gurus for showing me the way and allow me to explore, grow and flourish too. I believe I have done the right thing in releasing others to explore and grow and flourish in the path of the Siddhas by breaking their hold on doctrines, codes, principles, routines, norms, establishments etc.  

Tavayogi once told me that the spirit cannot be curtailed and that it has to be free; free to investigate and learn. No amount of doctrine can satisfy the spirit. At AVM we did not lay rules but everybody understood and conformed to these unwritten rules. All the philosophical thoughts and discussions will give one an idea of what Erai isn't but would not show him. He has to be experienced. That is Anubhuthi. 

J. Krishnamurthy says that the moment one organizes spiritualism it becomes a religion. He narrates a story to make us understand further.

“You may remember the story of how the devil and a friend of his were walking down the street, when they saw ahead of them a man stoop down and pick up something from the ground, look at it, and put it away in his pocket. The friend said to the devil, “What did that man pick up?” “He picked up a piece of Truth,” said the devil. “That is a very bad business for you, then,” said his friend. “Oh, not at all,” the devil replied, “I am going to let him organize it." - Source: http://www.jkrishnamurti.org/about-krishnamurti/dissolution-speech.php

Dr. TN Krishnaswami writes in the chapter "Jnana and Bhakti" in "Fragrant Petals", Sri Ramanashramam, 2005,

Giving up 'mine' is bhakti; giving up 'I' is jnana. In the former case one gives up all one's possessions; in the latter one gives up the very possessor of the possesions.

This is what Jnana Panditha Lord Muruga desired us to do too. He wanted to know if we had surrendered totally the self before he could bestow us the gift of Jnana.

Krishnaswami writes further,

In bhakti ...one fixes one's mind on the Higher Power. When the mind, at last, becomes fully aware of the Higher Power it is awed by it and absorbed into it. This is the total surrender of the ego. The man no longer is; God alone is.

He quotes Ramana,

It is jnana to know that the Master is within you, but to commune with him is bhakti. When the love of God or Self is manifest it is bhakti; when it is in secret it is jnana. To know the self as bliss is jnana; efforts to uncover this natural bliss are bhakti. 

A bhakta makes no plans, trusting God who sent us her has his own scheme, which alone will work. He claims nothing. He has surrendered his personality so that his actions and their results are due to the higher power. He accepts whatever befalls him with equanimity. He understands that actions go on of themselves without an actor. A cyclone causes havoc but there is no actor responsible for it. God has created actions but no actor at all.

Similarly, Agathiyar in my very first reading tells me that I had erred in the past and proposed that I carry out certain remedies to set the faults right. I listened and followed. After three years he tells me that the wrong I had meted out in the past births were all his doing too. I needed the experience he said. He put the shame and blame in me to rest, asking me to forgive myself, forgive others and asking others to forgive me and finally he forgave me too.

I can only pay homage to him in silence for all that he has done for me. If I may borrow Ramalinga Adigal's expression of the divine and how he came as a savior.

எனக்கும் உனக்கும் இசைந்த பொருத்தம் என்ன பொருத்த மோ
இந்தப் பொருத்தம் உலகில் பிறருக் கெய்தும் பொருத்த மோ

அப்பா நின்னை அன்றி எங்கும் அணைப்பார் இல்லை யே
அந்தோ நின்னை அன்றி எங்கும் அருள்வார் இல்லை யே
எப்பா லவர்க்கும் நின்னை அன்றி இறைமை இல்லை யே
எனக்கும் நின்மே லன்றி உலகில் இச்சை இல்லை யே.
எனக்கும் உனக்கும்

அரசே உன்னை அணைக்க எனக்குள் ஆசை பொங்கு தே
அணைப்போம் என்னும் உண்மை யால்என் ஆவி தங்கு தே
விரைசேர் பாதம் பிடிக்க என்கை விரைந்து நீளு தே
மேவிப் பிடித்துக் கொள்ளுந் தோறும் உவகை ஆளு தே.
எனக்கும் உனக்கும்

என்னை ஆண்ட வண்ணம் எண்ணில் உள்ளம் உருகு தே
என்னை விழுங்கி எங்கும் இன்ப வெள்ளம் பெருகு தே
உன்ன உன்ன மனமும் உயிரும் உடம்பும் இனிக்கு தே
உன்னோ டென்னை வேறென் றெண்ணில் மிகவும் பனிக்கு தே.
எனக்கும் உனக்கும்

நினைக்க நினைக்கத் தித்திப் பெனது நினைவில் கொடுக்கு தே
நின்பால் அன்றிப் பிறர்பால் செல்ல நெஞ்சம் நடுக்கு தே
எனைத்துன் பொழித்தாட் கொண்ட நின்னை அன்னை என்ப னோ
எந்தாய் அன்பி லேன்நின் னடிக்கு முன்னை அன்ப னோ.
எனக்கும் உனக்கும்

அன்றே என்னை அடியன்ஆக்கி ஆண்ட சோதி யே
அதன்பின் பிள்ளை ஆக்கிஅருள்இங் களித்த சோதி யே
நன்றே மீட்டும் நேயன் ஆக்கிநயந்த சோதி யே
நானும் நீயும் ஒன்றென் றுரைத்துநல்கு சோதி யே.
எனக்கும் உனக்கும்

Read and listen to the full song at http://www.thiruarutpa.org/thirumurai/v/T347/tm/meyyarul_viyappu

UNDERSTANDING THE SIDDHAS - REVISITING KARMA

When we go for a Nadi reading, Agathiyar or the other Siddhas will speak about karma, a deciding factor in why we took birth, the life we live in the present and how we shall fare in the world. By opening up this can of worms, we come face to face with ourselves and what we had done in the past and why we deserve the treatment meted out to us in this life. On the onset it might seem like we are unknowingly being tried and unfairly punished for our bad behaviour in the past, but after careful consideration and study we understand that by the act of repentance and measures given to redress our past karma, the Siddhas are actually introducing us to the first of many phases on the spiritual path or as "Lucy Cornelssen in her book "Hunting The "I" ", Sri Ramanashramam, 2005, says, introducing us to the "four approaches to the Great Awakening, called Self-Realization."

When we are asked, for instance, to serve others, feed others, feed the animals, donate clothing, etc we are in fact being introduced to Karma Yoga or Margam, a sadhana or means of serving others, slowly drawing us away from looking after and nurturing the needs of the self and its needs, to include the needs of others too. Looking after the family is considered a responsibility and is not considered as a service. Helping close friends and relatives too is neither an act of service but considered as showing courtesy or Viruthupasarippu to them. Service in this context is towards total strangers with no blood relationship.

Individuals who initially sought to know and gain answers to life and its offerings, both pleasurable or otherwise, become grateful for the blessings showered on them when they engage in the social activities, going to the ground in helping others. These acts of charity, work within the individuals, to bring compassion in them towards others, both humans and animals. Compassion towards the plant kingdom is seen in some advanced souls.

Further remedies, that of conducting a homa or participating in a Yagna, or carrying out puja for certain deities, planets or ancestors, and going on a pilgrimage, while satisfying the remedies stipulated in the Nadi, brings us to the next phase that of devotion or Bhakti Yoga or Margam.

With devotion then comes the blessings of Erai and he sends us a guru. With the coming of a guru, we are led into the Yoga Margam where we are taught the means and ways to perfect the body and mind. The guru in the physical form comes to enlighten the individual and through Yoga Asanas and Pranayama, brings him to a different state in preparation for further inner transformation.

Those keen to follow the Siddha path are introduced to rituals that they are required to take up themselves, perform and carry out without engaging or depending on others or middlemen. The Siddhas either guide them directly through the Nadi or physical gurus. Having gone through the process of enriching oneself with external rituals that help raise and develop concentration in us and that brings down the blessings of the divine forces, it gives rise to the state of bliss or anandham in the individual. 

When the vessel is ready for the divine energy to traverse within and along, its network of nerves, the Siddhas take control of the breath and deliver the much anticipated and awaited kundalini energy breaking through all the blockages inherent in the body, opening up the chakras and delivering ambrosia that reverses the aging process of the blessed devotee.

Erai himself then takes the form of a Jnana Guru, one who dispenses knowledge; or as teachings of the Silent One the Mouna Guru, who dispels darkness and ignorance in us. 

Lucy Cornelssen writes that "Karma originally meant a path of ritual worship" and that it was a working sadhana akin to the Bhakti path." Today it "denotes the connection of cause and effect" and rebirth. It also has come to be associated with work or activity. But we are reminded not to be bonded to these actions for then we shall court danger. Rather we are to submit the action and results to the Higher Power that moves us all and see oneself as not the doer but a tool of his. We are told not to hold on to them or choose them. This is surrender to the divine's will.

Although action calls for a reaction, in this case, either gaining good merits or incurring bad karma as the case may be, the work itself is not a determining factor but the attitude that "I am the doer." We are reminded again that our concern should be with the action, doing something to our level best, and not in its fruit. Neither should we hold on to inaction. Taking an attitude of be-ing, we avoid the thought of a doer. Although initially it all starts with 'my love for the divine', or 'my work doing charity', and though the "I" (that gets a prompting or calling by "the Inner Guide, the Self, which will go with you up to the Goal) starts on a great journey, it does so only to get lost during the journey", says Lucy.

Lucy continues "The bhakta holds on to the presence of his ishta devata, his chosen god. He feels his presence at all times and under all circumstances and finally loses his self conscious, personal "I". The devotee or bhakta starts with showering love for his favorite deity or ista deivam "but one day might find his deity meet him in the shape of a man - his guru - asking for his total surrender. Henceforth his karma is his guru's, his desire confirms to his guru's, his possessions are that of his guru's, his responsibilities become that of his guru's, his body, mind, and soul are that of his guru's.

Ramana says it beautifully, "Surrender to him and abide by his will whether he appears or vanishes; await his pleasure. If you ask him to do as you please, it is not 'surrender' but a command to him. You cannot have Him obey you and yet think that you have surrendered. He knows what is best and when and how to do it. Leave everything entirely to him. His is the burden; you have no longer any cares. All your cares are his. Such is surrender. This is bhakti."

For the divine to help us we first need to submit to him and surrender our will. When Gnana Panditha Lord Muruga came unexpectedly in our midst recently, he asked each one of us gathered in prayer to state our willingness to surrender before he could give us each a gift. He seemed mighty serious about us surrendering to him before he would proceed further. He called up every individual and asked if they had truly surrendered to him and his cause. To some who said "yes", he initiated them while he told others who had many things on their mind and their lives were in turmoil to receive his gift when everything was settled and put to rest. To yet others including me, he sent us away to seek the gift from Agathiyar instead.

Surrendering self-willed action by Karma Marga, going beyond feeling by Bhakti, and eventually going beyond thoughts by Jnana, hence we then have come to the threshold of Jnana Marga for good. We drop the "I" merging with the source. As Ramana is quoted,  " "I" and "God" melted into the One", or as he explains where the delusion of Viyoga is removed and what remains is Yoga or Union. It can also be termed as dropping the ignorance and all else is known. Ramana says that Jnana is the Siddhi and all the rests, Karma Margam, Bhakti, Yogam are only a sadhana or yogas or tools and techniques. After Jnana is attained all these would not be necessary then.

When all the rest of the paths strive to attain another state, Jnana actually sheds the sheaths or layers of Maya or illusion to unveil the truth. The former is akin to when a craftsman using the lost wax process creates a wax model of the deity. The later is akin to the granite rock slowly chipped or chiseled layer by layer to reveal an image or idol by its sculptor or artisan. Lucy quotes Ramana on this state, "Your efforts can extend only thus far. Then the Beyond (Sakti) will take care of Itself. You are helpless there. No effort can reach It." Tavayogi simplified this to us saying "Our effort is only till Svathisthana. The Siddhas shall lead us on beyond that."

As we are all born with past vasanas, each soul has the right to chose or start from where he left. But one should not ridicule or belittle another for his faith or belief and practice just because we have chosen to start the journey in this birth at a higher level. Let them come to the path in their own good time or when he finds the calling.

"Thus the self is realized and bliss results" in total surrender. "Surrender is synonymous with bliss itself", writes Lucy. Ramana says, "Your nature is bliss. Ignorance is now hiding that bliss. Remove that ignorance for bliss to be freed." Ramana extols a truth that sheds ignorance once and for all. He asks, "Does any doubt rise that "I am not"? That which is, does not even say "I am."

UNDERSTANDING THE SIDDHAS - REVISITING THE NADI

Recently someone told me that Lord Siva and Agathiyar had failed him. I was shocked by hearing this statement. Another complained some time back that things were not going the way he wanted it and to his liking, although he had heavily invested in Agathiyar. They stayed away from worshiping him. Both had consulted Agathiyar and his Nadi before venturing into the business.

Another soul came out of the bitter experience of engaging in business abroad and having made loses, but surprisingly took it in his stride and accepted it as a learning process, believing it to be a much-needed experience. He is still an ardent and staunch devotee of Agathiyar not having lost his hold on him. He too had consulted Agathiyar and his Nadi before venturing into the business.

I sat back and pondered. What do we owe to Agathiyar that he should accommodate all our asking? Aren't we actually at his mercy?

It is rather unreasonable of us to brag that we worship him with flowers and sing his praise, for instance, when the very flowers he had given us, in the first place, are from him. He has also given us the voice and above that, the breath so that we can sing his praises. We forget that nothing is ours to offer to him. The very body is on loan. All else that we strive to attain too is given by him. We believe we have donated much towards his cause failing to realize that it is he who showers us all so that we shall part with some amount for his cause and use the rest for our needs.

How devoted are you to him that he should shower his grace upon you? How devoted are you to a practice or to a path for that matter? To succeed on the spiritual path we are told that we need vairagya or determination. Sogyal Rinpoche in his book "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying", HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, shares the story of Asanga, a famous Indian Buddhist saint, who lived in the fourth century, that puts us to shame on our lack of dedication for the cause.

Retreating into the mountains to meditate in the hope of having a vision of Buddha Maitreya and to receive his teachings, Asanga was saddened and disheartened that he did not get the vision he aspired for, having not had even a glimpse of Maitreya in even his dream, even after putting in six years of meditation in the harshest conditions. He thought that he would never succeed in his dream to have the vision of the Buddha and learn from him, hence he left his hermitage abandoning the noble venture. He had not gone far down the road when he sees a man rubbing an enormous iron bar with a strip of silk cloth. Asanga asked him what he was doing to which he received the reply, "I haven't got a needle, so I am going to make one out of this iron bar." Asanga was stunned and told himself "Look at the trouble people give themselves over things that are totally absurd. You are doing a really valuable spiritual practice and you're not nearly so dedicated." He turned around and went back to his retreat to continue his meditation.

Another three years went by and there was no positive sign that he would have a vision of the Buddha. He told himself, "Now I know for certain I am never going to succeed" and so saying he left his practice again. Coming down the road, at the foot of a huge rock stood a man busily rubbing the rock with a feather soaked in water. When questioned about his action, the man replied that the rock was stopping the sun from shining onto his home thus he was getting rid of the rock. Asanga could only revel at the faith and indefatigable energy he carried in him, and ashamed at his own lack of dedication he returned back to his retreat.

Three more years passed by and still, he had not even had a single good dream. He told himself that it was utterly useless and hopeless for him to pursue further, and left again. This time he came across a dog lying in the path of the villagers, snarling at all those who passed by, ready to sink its teeth into them although it had only its front legs and the hind legs were rotting away. Compassion came over Asanga. He cut a piece of flesh from his body and fed the dog. He knelt beside the dog, closed his eyes and began to stick his tongue out to remove the maggots that had infested its flesh. But his tongue touched the ground. Opening his eyes he saw no dog. In its place was the Buddha Maitreya, envelope in a shimmering aura of light. Asanga asked him why he did not appear earlier.

Maitreya replied, "It is not true that I never appeared to you before. I was with you all the time, but your negative karma and obscurations prevented you from seeing me. Your twelve years of practice dissolved them slightly so that you were at last able to see the dog. Thanks to your compassion all the obscurations were completely swept away and you can see me before you with your very own eyes. If you do not believe that this is what happened put me on your shoulders and try and see if anyone else can see me."

Asanga put Maitreya on over his shoulder and went to the marketplace. He began to ask the people there what was it that he carried on his shoulders. None saw Maitreya seated on his shoulder. Surprisingly one woman told him that he was carrying the rotting corpse of a dog on his shoulder. Maitreya told him her karma was slightly purified hence she was the only one able to see the dog. No one saw the Buddha Maitreya.

Sogyal Rinpoche writes that finally, it dawned on Asanga that "the power of compassion had purified and transformed his karma and so made him a vessel fit to receive the vision and instruction of Buddha Maitreya.  Maitreya took him to heaven and gave him further teachings.

Supramania Swami and Tavayogi too had told me that we shall polish and keep on polishing till we shine. They told me, "Even if we miss the boat, no harm, we can always come back in the next birth to continue from where we left."

Then there is the story of the monk who upon being offered a place in one of the realms of the buddhas, asked to go to hell instead, so that he could help those in need there. Geshe Chekhawa who lived in the 11th century happened to come across a verse, "Give all profit and gains to others, take all loss and defeat on yourself" from a page of a book left open in his teacher's room. This line astounded him and he left to find our the author of the book. But a leper told him that the master had died. Geshe, however, came to meet the master's principle disciple. His perseverance on adopting, upholding and in the practice of the teachings contained in these 2 lines was so intense that within 6 years he had completely eradicated all self-grasping and self-cherishing thoughts. He became filled with compassion. Geshe stayed with his master for 12 years. He in turn, taught the practical application of the verse at first to only a few close disciples. Then he taught it to some lepers. They were cured and the news spread. His home seemed like a hospital with lepers flocking over to be cured. His initial thought that people had to have great faith in it for it to work changed once his brother who was a skeptic took up the practice without his knowledge after eavesdropping in on his lessons. Geshe knew that the teaching worked when his brother's character softened. He began teaching it far more widely. When he had many clear dreams that he would be reborn in one of the realms of the buddhas, he was bitterly disappointed and begged his students to pray to the buddhas that he shall be born in hell so that his passionate wish to help the beings in that realm would be fulfilled.

We can never come close to these great souls who take it upon themselves to see through the journey that they have chosen, even if death awaits them. Some astrologers go on to predict if vairagya is well placed in one's charts for one to unceasingly pursue the path chosen. JN Bhasin studied the birth charts of prominent people including saints and wrote about the expressed need to have vairagya in one's charts, in his book "Events and Nativities Explained", Sagar Publications, 1974, reminding us of Agathiyar's 1st Tenet, that of knowing our purpose and mission and taking up a life that was attuned to the desires and wishes of the divine as charted in the stars and horoscope.

Ramakrishna Paramhansa had all the signs that pointed to or denoted a high type of vairagya in the mind. It was written that he would attain sainthood and rise to great spiritual heights, Arvind Ghosh or Aurobindo Ghosh too took to a saintly life as it was in the chart showing a mind full of vairagya. Swami Yogananda too had all the right ingredients for sanyas. Buddhist have a practice of identifying potential souls and past gurus taking rebirth and work on these children from a very young age leading them along so that the soul can continue its work and not become deviated from its mission. This is where the Siddha's Nadi revelation can come in handy, identifying our path for us on the onset itself.

When one sits before a Nadi revelation, and for instance, Agathiyar says that one will be a rogue, Agathiyar is only revealing what he sees as been written or fated for that individual. Nothing more, nothing less. Since each of us has a free will to determine what is best for us or rather what we desire most, we are given the liberty to chose and act accordingly. If he chooses to end up a rogue or otherwise, it is entirely his choice and his doing. The Siddha does not interfere with our decision. He only states the prospects available. The decision is still ours. 

When one who seeks to engage in a business venture seeks advise through the Nadi, he is given their blessings since he is already carrying the desire and vasanas in him. He would not be there for the reading in the first place if he did not harbor this desire. Then again he could have had decided on his own that he did not want to go ahead with the proposal. But he needed to be sure. He wants to know what the future has in store for him. 

When someone wants to know whether it is wise to make a career move, again the Siddha would go with the intention and wishes of the seeker understanding that his desire has brought him to a state where he is not able to make a wise decision. The Siddha would, of course, give him his blessing. 

When I put the question to the late Dr. Krishnan why his predictions through the medical astrology for me did not take place as predicted he pointed me to the Siddhas and their Nadi. I was told of the existence of the Nadi, that could tell me if I had erred in the past and reveal if I had gained the curse of the wise and saintly, the ancestors or others, all reasons for a prediction to not take place as prophesized. The year was 1996. I never moved to enquire further back then.

In 2002, a colleague brought up the subject of the Nadi and his visit to a Nadi reader a year earlier. He called up and fixed an appointment for me to see my Nadi upon my request and a renewed interest in knowing about myself. The Kaanda Nadi that included the General Canto, Karma Shanti Parikara Canto, and  Dhiksa Canto was read out to me. Sivabalan who brought in and housed the Nadi reader Senthilkumar from India asked me to see if my Gnana Canto, a rare chapter, was available. Luck was on my side. After a brief puja, the Nadi reader continued with my Gnana Canto too, all in the same sitting.

Later in 2005 Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal directed me to have my Gnana Canto read and pointed me to Nadi reader T.Ramesh minutes after we met for the very first time in Malaysia. Agathiyar was so kind and generous to me. He pardoned me for my past mistakes, removed the guilt that I had carried all this while, saying all was his doing and he added that I needed those experiences too. He accepted me into his circle and blessed me for a better future. Agathiyar told me that the Agathiyar Gnana Peedham in Batu Caves is the place for me to learn about spirituality. I was also told to see Tavayogi that night itself for a Dhiksa. Tavayogi had earlier given me Dhiksa together with nine others including my wife at the premises of the above-mentioned organization. Why then was there a  necessity to get the Dhiksa again? I was puzzled. I could have brushed aside, ignored or delayed seeing Tavayogi. Instead, when I followed as instructed and got Tavayogi’s blessing and Dhiksa from him again that very night, the Nadi reading recorded on an audiotape was mysteriously ‘erased’.

I went back to Ramesh explaining the mysterious event. When the Nadi was re-read to me, there was no mention of the Agathiyar Gnana Peedham in Batu Caves anymore. I figured that the moment I surrendered to Tavayogi there was no need for me to align with an organization anymore. Besides this major amendment to the Nadi, the re-reading mentioned additional temples and Siddha’s places that I ought to visit - Tiruvannamalai, Vedharanyam, Pothigai, and Courtalam were added on, besides Kallar and Palani, which was mentioned earlier.

Then we were blessed to have Tavayogi himself read out the Jeeva Nadi for us at AVM when he visited us in 2016.

When we stand in front of him with a wish or desire, he gives us his blessings. This does not mean that we shall find success in our new venture, career or whatever we have just asked for. We still have to be fated to receive what we desired for. Then we would have to put in the necessary and right effort. With God's blessings, a couple of obstacles that were earlier placed before us might be removed. With God's blessings, we might face fewer problems and troubles in our venture. Most importantly with God's blessings, we will have the courage to face all eventualities and not crumble under pressure. Having gained the strength to move forward under all circumstances, the desired results will be accomplished in due time. His blessings will come in handy when our desire or wish, our choice and the time is right. It is a supplementary card to turn to in times of need.

Do not expect miracles. Do not expect them to happen overnight. Neither should we expect to see the results immediately. The Siddhas do not in any way interfere or favor something for another because these are all our askings, for our self and selfish needs. But when we surrender our wishes and desires and are prepared to carry out their wishes and desires, the Siddhas shall give us all their blessings, the means, and the network, to successfully carry out the venture for it is then for the good of humanity rather than for the individual self.