Watching the sneak peek of the film Charukesi reminded me of how Agathiyar came unannounced, and Bhagawan Ramana and Yogi Ramsuratkumar (bringing Supramania Swami with him), who identified themselves, came when we played songs, the latter asking to replay them, during Sivarathri. At other times, as with Lord Siva, he asks us to play them and listen in a state of bliss. It comes to show how the divine is part and parcel of our daily lives, watching over us every minute.
I have come to realize that my life, just like everybody else's, is orchestrated by a divine hand, for how do you reckon and explain the manner and reasons for us to meet some? For instance, just days ago, when the Rava Thosai, which was part of my menu and order at the restaurant where I dined often, looked pathetic and unappealing, the server asked if I wanted it replaced. I said yes, and he took it back. As it is, Rava Thosai takes a little longer to cook compared with plain Thosai, so I had to wait longer. Just then, an elderly Malay man walked into the restaurant. He walked past me, mumbling something to himself, and soon returned to sit at a table next to mine, where he started small talk. Coming to know that he, too, was a pensioner, we shared the good life as pensioners. I then bid farewell to him. As I made my way to the car, I realized that a delay in having something, as in my case, the Thosai, made me sit longer so that we could meet. And so too I have come to realize it is with all delays in our lives, for they are meant for a reason.
Who would have thought a boy of 16 years and his friend Beh Swee Yam, who stopped a military carrier from landing on the runway, would one day join the Defense Ministry? We were so naive, innocent, and stupid that we did not realize the reason the Caribou, a Canadian specialized cargo aircraft, circled for some time was that we were running on the field in its path of landing until there came soldiers on a landrover with a hailer shouting for us to vacate the grounds, telling us the plane could not land. They picked both of us up, dumped us into the vehicle, and kicked us out of the aerodrome, never to come back, asking us to go run somewhere else. It is a wonder that they did not place us in a lockup and charge us for trespassing on a restricted area.
I'm only beginning to know myself now, at the age of 67. I have come to understand why I am the way I am, too, after following the recent barrage of astrological predictions on the net. When I asked myself why I was always the odd one out, in revealing the nature of those born under the star Aquarius or Kumbham Rashi, I came to know that there was nothing wrong with me. As Mahindren told me, I was designed as such. I understood that if I wanted any change to the present, that would initiate another birth and prolong the circle further. I have come to drop all my guilt and accept myself for who I am. I am at peace with myself and others. I have come to know that the stars dictate my nature and characteristics just as the soul determines our parentage and place of birth, among many other things. Is this then self-realization? I have yet to know the "thy" that the saints speak of in "know thyself," though. Agathiyar too came, asking me to know my "Self", the Atma, and know Sivam, after I came to know him on this journey, what I mistakenly thought was a new relationship that blossomed over the past 26 years. On the contrary, he tells me we have traveled for crores of years together. He remembers, but I forgot. After reading the Nadi, Agathiyar told me my present birth was a result of my past karma. When I grieved for my sins, he told me he had pushed me into doing it for want of those experiences, too.
I have come to know that that which has a hold on us is Maya, hence the reason Tavayogi stopped me from worshipping him even before I got hold of him, and wearing gemstones for a start. Agathiyar had me let go of all the tasks that he had initiated me to start after having gained the experience from them, before it could get hold of me. He had me drop my hold on his statue, too. He went a step further and asked that I let him go too, for only then could we be one, the Yegan, Sivam. In having me let go, Agathiyar handed me back into the arms of Mother Prapanjam.
I understand why Lao Tzu asked us to go with the flow. What we should do is use Maya to our advantage and for our purpose in coming here, where eventually, after the band stops playing and the music dies down, and everybody has left, our creator sits at the last table waiting to claim us, his soul and property, and bring us back home.
It reminds me of the song The Last Waltz by Engelbert Humperdinck.
I wondered, should I go or should I stay
The band had only one more song to play
And then I saw you out the corner of my eyes
A little girl alone and so shy
I had the last waltz with you
Two lonely people together
I fell in love with you
The last waltz should last forever
But the love we had was goin' strong
Through the good and bad we'd get along
And then the flame of love died in your eye
My heart was broke in two when you said goodbye
It's all over now
Nothing left to say
Just my tears and the orchestra playing
(Source: https://genius.com/Engelbert-humperdinck-the-last-waltz-lyrics)
Becoming spiritual is not about adopting a change in garb from normal clothes, but a change in mindset and perspective. Once this happen we settle down into acceptance. This is "Summa Erupathu" in all manner, do nothing.