A PAINFUL LESSON

When my family and I came to worship the Siddhas and especially after Agathiyar came in the form of the statue, many were shown to our home through their Nadi readings. Many others we brought over by their friends. In the initial years after his coming in the form of a statue to AVM in 2010, we had lit ghee lamps and prayed to Agathiyar to bring relief to our troubles and problems, illness, etc, as was ordained by him in the Nadi. Then over the years, I realized at one point in time that it had become a ritual that was associated with AVM just as there are many rituals associated with other places of worship too. As we have been following him for a long time now, I felt that it was time we started listening to Agathiyar rather than stuffing our desires and wishes in his face in all the temples where he resides. I stopped providing the cotton wicks, ghee, and lamps. I told devotees to AVM to bring their own oil lamps and light them before him. If they desired to perform libation to Agathiyar I asked them to make all the necessary purchases and perform the ritual themselves. Many understood. They even brought over food as in a pot-luck to share with the other devotees and to distribute to the hungry in the streets and homes. It became both an individual effort and a collective event at the same time with everyone having a role in puja and charity. Then in a very timely manner, Agathiyar revealed to me through a couple that what I did was right. This couple who went all the way to see to it that other's parikaram or remedies were fulfilled, were cautioned by Agathiyar. Agathiyar told them that one has to sweat it out in hiking the hill to the many temples perched on top of it if he was to shed his karma; that one had to hunt for the items needed for the parikaram that they were asked to do or offer to the deities himself, and not to depend on others to purchase and provide them, and that one had to cook and feed the poor if that was stipulated too and not outsource them. Their idea in giving us a remedy was to get us totally involved in the action meted out right from A-Z. In getting us to move and place some effort and by doing it go through some pain and hardship, that would wipe out a major portion of our karma even before we finally stood before God's sannadhi or shrine in prayer or handed out the food to the hungry. God then shall strikeout that particular karma from the long list that we have brought with us.

There were many others who stumbled on at my place, which I believe today was never by accident. I firmly believe Agathiyar had a hand in it because he would come later to heal or sort out their lives' problems and troubles. When strangers open up to my wife and me, as we were good listeners we listened on. Since we were new to the worship and full of zeal and zest, we could not help keep our mouths shut but had to advise, point out or guide them. But what came out of them was a can of worms. It was disturbing to us for we never wanted to pry into other's lives. Even when the Nadi Nool Aasan whom I frequented to have my Nadi read requested me to come in and help translate the Nadi for non-Tamils I never wanted to do so for the same reason. 

That is where the trouble escalated in their lives that was already on the threshold of collapsing. When I called Tavayogi and consulted him, he asked me why did I interfere? He told me to show them to Agathiyar and let him listen them out. We understood his message very well. Non-interference was the keyword here. Our home was a venue where Agathiyar came over to hear the plea and cry of his devotees and seekers. We were just custodians of his statue or murthy. Nothing more. Our job was to just let them in and leave all matters to Agathiyar. We backed off understanding our role now. 

But Agathiyar was not about to let go of us. Beyond and above our passive participation in lending our ears to their problems, the Siddhas came to do their part too. He had to see his devotees and seekers and at times apprehend some or heal and comfort others. He began to use our bodies. We backed off in fear. When we made a plea to him to let us off the hook, as we did not want the word to get around and have people stand in line to hear his words or get healed, all the action stopped at once.... at least for some time. No one came by for some time. He knew we were shaken up by the turn of events that was altogether new to us. Then he asked me if there was a problem or issue? "No one shall hurt neither you nor your family. It is not going to cause any inconvenience to you. There is no concern to worry about you taking on their karma. I am only using you and your home to carry out my work." Only then did I relent and give way. Then the line that was stalled began to move again and we saw a stream of visitors coming to pay their respects to Agathiyar. To some, he addressed and healed them.

This play of miracles or சித்து விளையாட்டு was carried to another level with the coming of another devotee who was a good vessel and conductor of their energies. They began to take larger strides reaching out to the entire kingdom of Gods and Goddesses and bringing them down. We were asked to watch and not interfere. We were asked to witness and learn. Even if I got up to leave the place when at times the conversation was very personal and intimate, Agathiyar would hold me back and asked that I listen on and learn from the conversation he was having with them. At times if my presence was making others uncomfortable he would ask me to leave but he would fill me in later. Somehow he wanted me to know these things however unappealing or disturbing it was. 

When we walked up the flight of steps at times when the lifts were not working in the low-cost flats to deliver freshly cooked food and groceries, we never wanted to listen to the problems of these families at length for we had to cover many homes. Giving an ear to their problems would have us spent the whole day listening for they had so many problems. Figuring that to be focused on what we came to do was the right thing to do, and as we could not hold up other members and have them wait long hours as we carpooled to do charity, we briskly distributed the aid and dispersed. Then late 2019, Agathiyar handed over these mammoth tasks to another samaritan and had us go within. He stopped puja and charity. A couple of months later came the pandemic that forced authorities to implement lockdowns. But the NGO that took over looked after their needs well.

In times of this pandemic, I receive calls and messages from his devotees asking me to light a lamp or pray for them or their close ones who have been found positive or are in ICU. I have moved on from rituals the past year and a half after Agathiyar dissolved the AVM group that was focused on worship or puja and AS group that focused on charity programs. He had us move in and within. I could not possibly go back to lighting a lamp for individual souls. He set us to pray for the wellbeing of the Prapanjam now. From individual prayers he brought us to pray for all as praying for the Prapanjam would include every single thing in it. There was a paradigm shift towards the total wellness of all. If the tools were the many rituals we adopted, now he had us connect with and use the energy of the Prapanjam, enhance it with our breath in preparedness for the pandemic that was to unfold later. Both Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal guided and aided us in connecting with the Prapanjam with our breath. As the pandemic reared its ugly head, Lord Shiva dictated us to bring the resultant vibration from our earlier practice and pass it back to the Prapanjam to cleanse and heal it. Hearing Lord Shiva's command we sent out the word and asked families and friends to join us from their homes in prayer in reaching out to the Prapanjam. Many acknowledged telling us that they had participated sitting at that specific time to pray. We thank all those who were concerned about the current state of affairs and participated in this group prayer from their individual homes. 

My wife's mother had a fall where the impact of her fall resulted in a broken hip. She had a fracture of the head of her greater trochanter and it had to be replaced. My wife sought permission from Agathiyar to leave to attend to her. He gave her leave to go but not me. Besides taking care of her aged parents with her sister's daughter being a great source of help, my wife led a prayer in their home for her fast recovery. She told me she could sense the presence of the divine energies as she led them in chanting the Siddha's names and both the mantras. Her mother has since recovered well. 

When a friend asked to pray for his mother who was hospitalized and unconscious Agathiyar had a message for him. He asked him to pray for his mother instead. He told him that the doctors could perform the required procedures and tell us in clinical terms that the surgery was a success. It is the Prapanajam that heals and brings about recovery eventually. Agathiyar asked him to connect with the Prapanjam and reach out to it for help. Only that could save her. She passed away. But her soul came back to deliver a message to her entire family who kept their father company. She wanted to leave. The pain was too much. She was received by Shirdi Sai Baba and brought before Goddess Kali. The family had worshipped both the guru and the deity. She told them that she was happy and not to worry. She and Baba would always be with them.

When Dr. Krishnan, who was a guru to me too besides being my astrologer and Siddha physician, passed away, I attended his funeral. After the family did the last rites at his home and before bringing him to the crematorium, we were invited to pay our respect to him. As I stood before him, I could connect with his soul. We smiled at each other. He was happy to leave. I walked away happy for him. 

When Agathiyar's devotees called me to ask to pray for them and their family members who were tested positive, I asked that they be brave and observe all the restrictions and safety measures outlined by the doctors and to pray and chant the mantras given by Lord Shiva too and to reach out to the Prapanjam for help and fast recovery. Agathiyar had a similar message for them telling them to be brave too as he would be at their side. Although they lost two members of the family five of them have survived the ordeal. They used to call often telling me that they found it comforting to talk to me. They told me talking to me gave them strength. Was that possible? Then I remembered my wife telling me of support groups initiated to bring together victims and patients where they can share their stories. That brought encouragement and strength to them. As they needed much convincing Agathiyar asked them to stop calling me but to put in their individual prayers. 

So the question aroused in me if I was right to shun and move away from hearing other's problems all these while? 

He had shown me through his many previous actions how a Siddha would tackle and confront issues but I failed to see them. I only saw them from my view and perspective. He has opened my eyes. The last straw that broke the camel's back was when he asked me, "What if I were to turn a deaf ear to your needs? Where would you go?" 

If I had stayed away from listening on to other's problems; and if I had hesitated to help another, for all the above reasons and various other reasons, Agathiyar made me mellow on my previous stand and principles. To drive in the nail, I just watched the movie Katrin Mozhi and I fell in love with it for I could connect with that story. Many call up the lead character Vijayalakshmi and share their troubles and problems with her. She being a new RJ hosting the program on the station listens and comforts them. I have seen this sector of our society that is left out of the mainstream. Left all alone to fend for themselves. They have no one to talk to and nowhere to go. Hence when there was an avenue and someone to listen, they immediately turn to them, as did many dial and called up the station in the movie. 

It is indeed true that it is from experience, that we learn lessons. Goddess Ma was right in telling us that the Siddha Neri or the Path of the Siddhas was one of learning lessons from the experiences that we gained. But it does come the hard way at times. I know that there will be many more lessons coming my way. When I came to the path it was a mystery. It is still a mystery. But I do not want to leave it at that, unsolved and forever remaining a mystery. I do not want to leave without solving it. Will I be able to break the code? For this, I need the Siddhas' help. 

THE SIDDHAS ARE FOR REAL 1

It is interesting to realize how things switch in our favor as we travel with the Siddhas. If we took up the calling to come to the worship of the Siddhas from Agathiyar in the Nadi in 2002, Agathiyar then sent Tavayogi to play a big role in expediting my journey in 2005. When I told him that Agathiyar had told me to go to several temples again when I meet him in Malaysia, he invited me over to his ashram and volunteered to take me to all those places stated in the Nadi reading. But it ended up that he did was more than that. He brought me to witness the mysterious world of the Siddhas too. Traveling with him, I saw so many miracles take place that kept me in awe. The highlight of it was when Agathiyar opened his left eye in a granite statue of his in Agasthyampalli after Tavayogi threw his shawl to me to place on the stained floor and sit on. Even before I recovered from this miracle Agathiyar opened both his eyes in yet another statue of his at Papanasam temple. When I arrived back in Malaysia he told me in the Nadi that he would show me more extraordinary things in my homeland. He began his show of light and sound mesmerizing us till this day. In 2013 he opened his eyes in his bronze statue at my home repeating the feat he performed at Agasthiyampalli and Papanasam.

If all the while the Agathiyar and Siddhas spoke through the medium of the Nadi, a switch was waiting to happen. If Agathiyar filled me in on karma and had me do parikarams or remedies on my maiden journey, Tavayogi filled me on the many rituals and initiated them, and had us conduct the Yagam at his ashram grounds. While the remedies we did removed the remaining last veil between us and the Siddhas, the rituals connected us with the Siddhas and their mysterious realm. A bridge was built that made it accessible for them to travel between both worlds and visit us. Agathiyar used to reveal in the later Nadi readings that he arrived from Kallar or Pothigai to address us in the Nadi and would leave telling us he needs to be in Kailash etc. We had opened a portal to their world through performing these rituals. For those who ridicule rituals, I would suggest they start doing it and see the mystery unfold before them. We are seeing it daily. 

Supramania Swami always reminded me to keep the flame alive because he told me he shall watch me through the flame. It was a portal for him. Once when I was with him, he was physically shaken when he walked into his prayer room to find the flame had died down. He told me he had all the while kept it alive. 

Ramalinga Adigal lit a flame and worshipped it. When it was time for him to leave the world he kept it outside his room and asked his followers to worship it. He had them lock his room door from the outside. A portal opened up in his room to engulf him for he was not to be seen again ... until 1902 when he came to for his foremost disciple Kalpattu Aiya and granted him his desire to join his fold and bring him back with him. The flame he lit is kept alive at Satya Gnana Sabai, Dharma Salai, and Siddhivalagam to this day. 

A lesser deity who was stranded in the streets entered the body of a cousin of my former colleague and had my colleague drive him back to his temple pointing out the flame that was lit there. Once on arrival, he asked him to light camphor and merged back into the flame. The flame was the portal for him to return to his world.

If they made the call for us to come into the path initially, now we made the call for them to come down. By diligently following their dictates, doing the rituals given, and by singing the many songs of theirs, we extended a calling to them too. We extended an invitation to them to cross over into our world. These rituals created a portal for them to travel between both worlds. Once the bridge was laid across between both worlds, Agathiyar came. The first time he came he had announced his intent to grace his Guru Puja of 2010 in the Nadi beforehand. A day earlier Agathiyar arrived in the form of a bronze statue at AVM, commissioned and made in Swamimalai and flown to our shores. We were let into a secret. He said that would occupy a person's body and address those who gathered, sending the other soul to reside momentarily in his murthy or statue. We understood that besides their energy coming within the idol, it was a transit camp for souls to momentarily occupy. We came to know the reason he came as a murthy to our home. 

As they had certain tasks, motives, and reasons to come, the need to be present in our midst became more frequent. They carried out certain சித்து or play of miracles. They would bring in strangers and attend to their problems. As it took place in our home we begged that they should stop for it was a family home and we did not want word to get out and have the public wait in line to be seen and heard by the Siddhas in person. The Siddhas stopped - temporarily until we were spiritually mature enough to understand that they were only using certain individuals and our premises to listen, help and heal others. 

Soon to our surprise, the lesser deities turned up to pay homage to Agathiyar on their own accord. It is interesting to note that lesser deities are generally invoked elsewhere. A feast is giving and certain protocols are adhered to. Having listened to the problems of those who come for a solution, they grant their wishes. They are then coaxed to leave the person whom they had used. Once they leave the person collapses and has to be revived back to his senses. 

But when they arrive to pay their homage to Agathiyar, it is always on their own accord. They come as and when they want. They pay homage and respect to Agathiyar and leave. There was no exchange of words between us and them. They come by walking in through the front entrance and we are told to make way for them. They leave quietly, the host still standing strong. 

If earlier we understood from Agathiyar that when he comes into someone, the person's soul moves into His statue momentarily, later they switched the mode of entry. He came within a person sharing the body that hosts them and having his soul partially aware of their presence but subdued from doing anything else but only their moves for the brief periods of their presence. He showers their grace, heals, or take to task some others and leave. Soon Agathiyar brought other Siddhas down too. We noticed that the method of their descent within one was different. When the Siddhas come and go as well, they descend directly as though from a column of light, bringing with them their immense energy that reverberates all around us and is felt, penetrating the body and reaching deep into the soul. This was immensely felt when Ramalinga Adigal came. He was himself in a state of bliss, crying out aloud "Arutperunjhoti" and in profuse tears. He could not contain his bliss and transferred it to all those who had gathered. His body lifted. We could hardly hold on to him. 

These days they are in our midst, mingling with us and guiding our thoughts and actions. They merge with the soul of their host, extending the hours of their visits, sitting and talking casually with those gathered. We realized that at these moments they spoke only on Gnana. The soul here is fully aware of their presence and their doing but abstains from any thought or activity of its own. 

If we are given an option, we would not want to indulge in these Siddhis. Neither would we want to allow it. But after having enlightened us and convinced us that it was their doing entirely and that it shall not interfere in any way with our family, daily routine and life, we stepped back and handed the field and ground over to them to have a field day. That is exactly what happened once too. Lord Murugan came in the Nadi beforehand and told us to give way and allow them access and space to carry out their divine play with their children gathered to celebrate Agathiyar's Jayanthi and Guru Puja. We were asked to only witnesses and not stop or disrupt their divine play. Once we stepped aside, we practically saw the heavens giving way to all the deities, Siddhas, and other heavenly beings. It was like a torrential pour of powers, raining and drowning us in bliss. That was the pinnacle and culmination of the many brief visits by lesser deities, gurus, and Siddhas and the Gods and Goddesses until then. That was the greatest spectacle shown to us to date where the whole pantheon came down. 

The next spectacle shown was a merger of both their mediums of communication the Nadi and speaking through others. When I was in pain, the excruciating pain I underwent in 2011 resurfaced in 2018, a Nadi reader visited me to enquire about my health. That is when Lord Murugan came in the Nadi and instantaneously came within a devotee too. As he spoke in the Nadi, he through the devotee began healing my back with a bunch of peacock feathers. He had me drink a glass of water energized by the recitation of the Arutperunhoti mantra too. I believe this unique combination of both mediums has not taken elsewhere to date. It's either a Nadi reading on its own or an Arul Vkku or the deities speaking through a medium separately. Never in a combo. It did happen. 

Why would they want to show us all these, another facet of their world. I believe to make us believe that anything is possible. We are so attached to the world of matter that we cannot see the more subtle presence of other things. As Agathiyar says, "Let it happen and we shall believe say s an; Belief and shall happen say the Siddhas" we choose to believe any eventuality.

Lately, Agathiyar told us that his murthy is very much energized with all the prayers done since 2010. The energy of the Prapanjam has resided within the murthy, hence the reason for him drawing the crowd all these while. Goddess Ma asked to cool him down. Ramalinga Adigal came to remind us to bathe his murthy once a week to cool him down. It came as a surprise to us initially when the weight of his murthy increases upon completing the libation or abhisegam or after his puja at AVM. When his devotees carried him around a temple he began to gain weight as testified by them. How do we account for that? For those who ridicule idol worship, I would suggest they start doing it and see the mystery unfold before them. We are seeing it daily.

Again all these were possible as we went with the flow, toed the line, and went on with watching their gameplay. I haven't shared these happenings, that took place simultaneously with the external worship and rituals, earlier, for the sole reason that I thought it was rather personal. The reason I withheld them was that I did not want to give any wrong impression or create an avenue or space for any misinterpretation. We are not chosen ones or God's child, agent, messenger, spokesman, and all the other possible labels that the Rogis could possibly stick on us. It was not our choice to be a tool for them. It was theirs. We were asked to participate in their divine play and game. Even the Nadi readings I had since 2002, was only posted on YouTube in October of 2015, after much contemplation. The reason I published them was to correct the false perception and the misleading and damaging reviews and writings on the Siddhas and their Nadi from those who have had a bad experience with some Nadi readers. My Nadi readings, some fifty-plus, all worked out in my favor. One has to understand that there is a Law of the Attraction or Echo - "we will receive in return what we “put out there” to the universe. In other words, we receive positive or negative energy in accordance to what signal we emit." (https://www.healio.com/news/orthopedics/20200408/law-of-the-echo-negative-feelings-are-attracted-to-negative-events) If we go with bad intent, as in exposing the reader or the Nadi as fake, we will definitely walk out a victor because that is what we wanted to do too. If we go with suspicion, go because we are forced or compelled or obliged, we might not get to read the Nadi or it might go haywire and appear false. This is all a play of the Siddhas. If we think of manipulating them, they in turn shall manipulate us. They shall teach us who is in charge. For those who ridicule the Nadi, I would suggest they go with faith and believe and see the mystery unfold before them. We have seen it. 

If those from the orthodox schools refrained from disclosing many secrets, just as those whom I met in my early days of this journey were tongue-tied, I would reflect on saints like Ramalinga Adigal. He boldly shared his experiences. If he had withheld his experiences we would not have the Tiruarutpa today. If he had copyrighted his works we would not be able to sing his songs anywhere. So is it with the many sacred texts, songs, and pathigams. 

The way to gain the favor of the Siddhas is to be an obedient child. Through devotion. Through worship. Through listening and abiding with the divine's wishes. By not enquiring. By not doubting. By being patient. By not asking. By dropping our own desires. By surrendering. These are further means to fetch a place in their hearts.

These miracles happen till these days where we were told by Agathiyar that these were their divine play or lila or சித்து விளையாட்டு that will go on for some time. We are reminded again to just watch and witness and learn from it. He told us that we needed this knowledge too to make us complete. Every trick of the hat or every miracle shown, will eventually contribute to the learning curve. He is making us competent in all fields and knowledge.

If initially we were jolted by their sudden presence in our midst, we have come to be accustomed to their continued presence these days. These days with Lord Murugan, Agathiyar, and Ramalinga Adigal asking us to go within, they come to guide and advise us on our prayers and Yoga practices, besides occasionally healing the sick and hearing out people's problems.

Although I was told that Supramania Swami had displayed such similar acts of turning a handful of sand into the sacred ash, healing others, etc, Tavayogi never indulged in it though I realized certain miracles were initiated by him. For instance, it was only when he threw his shawl over to me and have me place it on the trestle at the entrance to Agathiyar's temple at Agasthiyampalli before I sat down that Agathiyar opened his eye in the granite statue of his. Not a moment sooner as I pleaded and cried with him. I knew he initiated another miracle at Palani temple grounds for he stopped to turn back and wait for me to catch up with him, something that never happened in all my time of following him into the jungles and caves. He had this grin on his face and his eyes sparkled. He knew what had happened to me after we were given a tumbler of milk to drink at the temple by a young priest. I knew that he knew. I walked up to him and placed my head on his chest in gratitude. That was the least I could do.

As I am trying to place things into its correct perspective, figure out and understand all that is happening around me, pondering over these events, with my rational and logical mind, and just when I think I have grasped it, thinking that I had acquired answers to these queries and mysteries of life, thinking that I had begun to understand the mystical Siddhas, I am brought back to square one when something else happens and supersedes and overrides all the previous understanding that I held to. Although it looks like a losing battle trying to figure out the Siddhas and their workings, Agathiyar comes to console us that the experience we gain shall serve to answer our questions and bring the necessary clarifications eventually. The answers are not out there but come from within us as when all the experiences and lessons learned from it that has enriched us are gathered and distilled, the gist or cream of it comes to the forefront as Gnana or wisdom enlightening us.

This is an entirely different facet of the Siddhas. It is indeed a strange, mysterious and mystical journey. Could all these be possible we ask as we continue to witness their presence among us? To those who pushed the Siddhas back into the pages of the history book, the story of the Siddhas in the numerous posts of this blog Siddha Heartbeat and another wonderful and informative blog Siththan Arul will prove otherwise that the Siddhas are real and living among us. 

SOMETHING TO PONDER ABOUT 2

Coming to the path of the Siddhas in 2002, I started dwelling into the pages of books upon books on Siddhas trying to find them there in these pages. They were not to be found in them. They only spoke about the past history, the myths, and legends associated with them, and their discoveries in the many fields of medicine, science, and technology. The means for salvation revered by many and revealed by them were often shrouded in secret terms or paripasai or overshadowed by their other works. As I was struggling to comprehend the many texts of the Siddhas, Tavayogi came in 2005 to take me away from the books into the real world, taking me on a physical walk and journey, walking the physical plane in search of proof of the existence of the Siddhas. We crossed paths with the Siddhas at numerous spiritual spots that were crucial points of travel between both worlds, or rather portals. 

Coming back from this adventure in the ashrams, caves, and jungles in India, as I continued with my recitation of the Siddha names in my home, simultaneously an internal process began taking place within. I realized that I was becoming detached from society and crowds. I could not be in the company of others and in public and crowded places. It felt like my energy was zapped. I felt my energy drained away and fast. I used to return home exhausted. As much as I wanted to avoid the company of strangers, but since I was employed I waited for the day when I could be just with him. 

When Tavayogi again came in 2007, he taught us Yoga Asanas and Pranayama techniques. I practiced these diligently. I saw the results almost instantaneously. I felt the prana build up within to the extent that I felt my body would explode. I continued doing it though for the feeling was beautiful. we felt connected to the Prapanjam. After Agathiyar's arrival in the form of a bronze statue in 2010, our home puja and rituals went to greater heights. Besides continuing the recitation of the names of the Siddhas we began placing offerings in the sacrificial fire or homam that reached out to the skies and all around. Besides lighting the homam that was initiated by Tavayogi, we bathe or did libation to Agathiyar's statue too. Agathiyar was moved to the homes of devotees too upon their requests. While several of these devotees left in search of other terrains and greener pastures, Surendran who joined us in 2011 still stands strong and firm in his faith. In 2013 Agathiyar sent Bala Chandran to witness and learn the Pournami Puja at my home after reading the Nadi. He brought his schoolmates with him later into the fold. His Thondu Seivom (TS) team worked with Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM), a name we coined for my home for easy identification and location. As we began to engage in charity that was initiated by the wonderful couple Sri and Srimathi Krishna, Amudha Surabhi (AS) was formed to share news on the many feeding programs. 

I began to blog, something that happened overnight, sharing my experiences. I wanted to fill an existing gap. When I came to the path there was nothing to go by for a newcomer relating to puja or worship of the Siddhas. There was numerous list of names of Siddhas that was recited at many centers. Then there were numerous other songs too scattered all over the many Siddha books that I could lay my hands on. I began to gather and compile them into a single book of praise for the Siddhas to be used for my personal home puja. I presented a hard copy of this compilation to Tavayogi when he was in Malaysia. This was my first compilation.

But there were no written accounts or documentation of experiences in carrying out these worship. All we had were experiences of the great saints who had achieved sainthood. There was no documented experience from a beginner sharing his experiences in taking baby steps towards God, except for one or two maybe including the now popular book written by Pandit Gopi Krishna on his sudden awakening of the Kundalini. When I returned from India after my maiden pilgrimage I documented my two-week stay in India on existing travelogs. When these were picked up and read by several seekers and they took the trouble to travel to Kallar ashram I expanded by website Indian Heartbeat that carried pieces on culture and the arts to include my journey on the Siddha path. Soon I discovered it was easier to embed media in existing blogs rather than write out the instructions in HTML on websites. I opted for blogging too. Siddha Heartbeat was born. It was in the infant stage. That is the reason I included the tagline "These blog postings are those of beginners who have taken the first step exploring the mysterious and mystical world of Siddhas. It is purely about devotion (Bakthi) and miracles. For those who think or feel that they have advanced spiritually and passed these initial, preliminary, and primary stages, please reserve your comment." It should serve as a reminder to those trigger happy who cannot restrain themselves and refrain from commenting on other's articles and on other's social media. I challenged them to write their own blog and put forth their thoughts down. Agathiyar gave me backing and encouragement to continue writing. Readers messaged me to keep it up. I used to encourage many to write their experiences too. Let it be that of a novice. It doesn't matter. 

Three years on I put in my option papers and retired at 56 years of age. When I had a small doubt if I had done the right thing or if I should have waited till I reached 60, Agathiyar in my Nadi reading addressed my doubt. He told me that I had taken the right decision and that it was time I dedicate my time to his cause. Upon retirement in 2016, I had more time with God. When both Tavayogi and Mataji traveled to witness the wedding and bless my daughter and son-in-law, we arranged for rituals and worship in the homes of several devotees bringing Agathiyar's statue along. Tavayogi and Mataji graced these events. Meanwhile, AVM was conferred several names like Agathiyar Tapovanam and Gnana Kottam by Lord Murugan and Agathiyar respectively. We saw these as an appreciation of our small contributions and deeds in the field of Siddha worship. 

I felt more and more out of place or displaced at family or public functions, I kept myself out of conversations that always revolved around politics and the state of the nation, and what was common knowledge and news in the papers. I had stopped talking about these because they brought on a bitter taste. There was only negativity in these talks. I found that we did not have a common topic. All I could talk about was on Agathiyar. I soon stopped frequenting many functions. We took up Agathiyar's task and were focused on carrying them out. Nothing else mattered. At other times I preferred to keep my peace and keep to myself in my home. 

In 2018 Lord Muruga brought up again the subject of us building a temple in a Nadi reading. The suggestion was made known for the first time in my first Nadi reading in 2002 by Agathiyar. Initially excited by the tasks given, later seeing the cold response from existing temples to provide a space for Agathiyar in their temple complex I dropped the search. But Lord Murugan brought it up again. I ignored this time around for I had seen how difficult it was to build one watching others at it fulfilling their ambitions and desires to put up massive structures thinking that was ultimate service to him. Then one had to sustain and keep it running. I did not want to knowingly fall for the trap and remain tied up with it for the rest of my life. When Supramania Swami wanted to build the temple, I thought I had done my part. When Tavayogi completed Agathiyar's temple cum ashram I thought I had done my part. But Lord Murugan was not giving up. He knew that I would listen to Agathiyar. Agathiyar mentioned it to both me and my wife. Still, I did not respond. Seeing my silence Agathiyar told me that he would get it done. Since he said that I left it at that. After 18 months when the timeframe he gave was coming to an end, nothing seemed to materialize. Agathiyar came in the Nadi and told me that he had tested me to see if I fell for the trap. A couple of years later he switches the game. If earlier he had mentioned his wants, this time around he asked me what I wanted? I remained silent for I had everything in life. He waited on me. Finally toasting my brain, I came up with a wish. I asked that I be born again and again and serve him. He replied, "Is that what you want?", making me wonder if I was wrong in asking it. He calls me up close and tells me to look around and asks if I wanted to go through all these, cautioning me about the many trapdoors that one has to be aware of in asking to serve the Siddhas. Agathiyar instead has asked us to seek "THE DOOR" that brings us into their fold where we too shall become Siddhas continuing in their lineage.

The Siddhas shall reward us well. But once we accept their rewards we stagnate. One who desires Siddhi will be caught in its own web. One who wants position and authority, glamour, and fame shall be caught in its snare. So is it with all the other askings. Our journey will come to a standstill. We shall never come out of the web that we tend to spin for ourselves. We are warned that even at the threshold of enlightenment, there shall be a trapdoor. If we are not careful we shall be tempted and lured towards it missing "THE DOOR" to his kingdom. 

It was now time for us to switch the direction of our journey. What were all these while a seeking centered around worldly affairs took a turn and began to center on our withins. It was time that the external journey went internal and within. In 2019, Agathiyar made me drop all our associations to groups and activities.  Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia and Amudha Surabhi were dissolved. A journey of a different kind was about to take place, one that was closer to home, my heart, and the self. A journey within. It was now the soul that was responding to the call. If all these while we had responded to our thoughts and acted accordingly, now as we were made to become aware of the soul, we sought to satisfy its needs. 

SOMETHING TO PONDER ABOUT 1

Each moment we are faced with making a decision. Our decision determines the next course of action. If we chose to board the bus or train, a whole new train of events takes place. Then again we might decide to take the bus or train but miss it, as in the Tamil movie "12B" or the English movie "Sliding Doors" respectively. Here then a whole new series of events would take place. What makes us miss the moment of boarding? A hidden hand. In the first instance, we have executed our free will in making a choice. In the latter, fate intervenes and changes our decision. Karma had interfered in our decision resulting in us missing our bus or train. Or the divine hand might have had a thing to do with it. Although we all have free will to decide what is right for us, karma decides otherwise. But as we surrender to the Divine, the divine decides for us. He then makes the necessary changes for us not to live a life that we dreamed of but to live His dream. He takes hold of our lives and leads us on. From the moment of surrender, he is responsible for us. Could this then be true samadhi? Merging in thought with the creator. A merger of action with the source. Would I be right in mentioning that when I surrender my free will to make a decision I enter samadhi? Would I be right in saying that when I give up my right to make a choice I enter samadhi?  Is this then "Summa Erupathu?"  If that is true then only samadhi can end our karma. So is there an equation here? Surrender=Samadhi=Sitting Still (Summa Erupathu)=End to Karma. Mahin summarized the result beautifully, that "Our actions then will be in line with the Prapanjam". "பிரபஞ்சத்திற்கு தகுந்தாற்போல் நாம் செயல் இருக்கும்" He reminded me of Lord Murugan asking each of us standing before him whether we had surrendered again and again. Lord Murugan's words to Arunagirinathar make sense now. He was told to "sit still, stop speaking", சும்மா இரு சொல் அற. Going by our equation that would equate with the state of samadhi. Arunagirinathar was said to have sat still some 12 years. Coming out of it he then made a pilgrimage of all of Lord Murugan's temples singing the Lord's praise. These songs came to be compiled as the Thirupugazh. Could Ramalinga Adigal too have sat in samadhi several times before he finally announced that he was leaving and had his followers lock the door to his room from outside? Is samadhi then to be achieved while still living? Tavayogi explained the term as meaning one with the source. We could probably be one with the source in thought. We could be one with the source in deed. The Siddhas are known to place their bodies in a safe place before emerging in other places taking on another form The places where they sat and left their bodies came to be called Siddhar samadhi. Arunagirinathar is said to have taken the form of a parrot leaving his body in the temple towers of Arunachalam to fetch a rare flower to bring sight to the ruling king. If Arunagiri deed this feat for the king, makes me wonder who this king was who deserved Arunagirinathar's personal attention? He could not have done that out of fear or respect for the king. There must have been a special bond between the two souls. If karma dictated that the king become blind and the divine through Arunagirinathar came to heal him changing his fate. Could we equate this king with Kalpattu Aiya for whom Ramalinga Adigal came back after 25 years and put his soul that was yearning to be with his guru to rest? This is what Agathiyar wants us to seek too. To be with their congregation or திருக்ககூட்டம். 

I am trying to comprehend Agathiyar's move in bringing an end to the congregation that he brought together at Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) and Amudha Surabhi (AS) to carry out rituals and charity respectively in late 2019. I was thinking where would we be if Agathiyar had not made me dissolve these two groups? AVM was where we exchanged news about upcoming puja times etc while AS was where we posted schedules of our charity programs etc. I believe Agathiyar in foreseeing the current pandemic made the decision to dissolve both these groups in September of 2019, short of the discovery of the Coronavirus in December of 2019. 

As the members became very much attached to these two groups, turning up for puja at AVM and carrying out their responsibility in serving the unfortunate, they would be in desperation and despair when forced to stop coming over for puja and forced to end the charity programs during the past year and a half of intermittent lockdowns and restrictions imposed in the country. I believe Agathiyar had well equipped his children well ahead of time with the tools to carry out puja in their own homes during these times of lockdown. I believe he had lifted the guilt of not being able to continue aid to the unfortunate during these trying times.  Even in our absence, the necessary aid reaches them. Agathiyar has seen to it.

Here too we had a choice. If we had carried on where would AVM be today after a year and a half? Hibernating. In cold storage. What about AS? Defunct. Lifeless. 

It is interesting when we look back at how each journey of ours evolves. So did mine. I was hibernating taking it easy back then in the years between 1988 and 2001. I was asked to take a break from all the questions and doubts that came to my mind then. I was aggressively praying in my bachelor home both at dawn and dusk to all the Gods and Goddesses of the Hindu pantheon and followed up with my regular daily visits to the temples in the vicinity of the small fishing village of Lumut in the eighties where I was posted. As I had lots of time on my hand I read a lot about religion and culture too. But I realized what was written and what happened did not tally. I began to have doubts and questioned the nature of God. If he was most compassionate why were people suffering? The last straw that broke the camel's back was when Goddess Ma told a devout devotee that his wife's sufferings were caused by her sister, another form of the Goddess. I just could not believe that the divine who is supposed to protect us could harm us. That is when Lord Shiva comes to save me from further anguish trying to figure out and reason God's play. He came in a dream and told me to keep aside all my questions for a later date. I did just that and more. I stopped all forms of worship. It was rather timely that I was posted back to my HQ in Kuala Lumpur. The change in the environment did make me forget all that I had read and learned from experience.  I started a family. My life revolved around my family and work. The switch that came by way of a transfer did some good for me. The mystical hand of Lord Shiva did wonders. I dread to think what would have happened if Shiva did not interfere. 

After a long breather of 14 years, I guess Lord Shiva decided to call me to his path again. My nephew turned up at my home one Saturday afternoon on 6 October 2001 and told me he had a message to relay and asked me not to question its source. He passed me the Vasudeva Mantra and asked me to chant it. Over the next few days, he gave me some pointers to observe during the Navarathri puja that was around the corner. He gave me a painting of Lord Dhakshanamurthy telling me to worship him in preparation to meet my guru. I did as told without questioning. I went with the flow. 

The following year my colleague opens up to me his experience in reading the Nadi. I was kindled. I was told about the Nadi in the nineties when I used to patronize the late Dr. Krishnan, who was a Siddha physician and medical astrologer. Although his predictions came true for all, they did not for me. When I asked if his prediction could go wrong he said yes if we had been cursed! I asked him to look into my charts and tell me if I was cursed. He told me it was not possible and that only the Nadi could reveal it. The subject ended then.

In reading the Nadi, Agathiyar talked about the curses and my past karma confirming what the dear Dr had told me earlier. But the most compassionate father did not desert me being a fool and a sinner. He extended a calling to me to the worship of the Siddhas and his path too. Here too I had a choice. I am glad I took up the calling. Agathiyar also revealed the planetary positions at my time of birth. It was opposed to what I was made to understand and believe all these years. Referring this to the Dr. he told me to adopt what Agathiyar has revealed henceforth. The blog Siththanarul carried the answers to this mystery recently. 

When I answered the call from Agathiyar in the Nadi to worship the Siddhas in 2002, I received a booklet containing the names of the Siddhas from the Nadi Nool Aasan Sentilkumar. He led me on the recitation of these names when I went back to carry out the small offering to the Siddhas known as Naadikku Dhaanam, to pay homage and thank the Siddhas for recording my life story in the Nadi way back in the past and revealing it to me in the present. As the Nadi readers were custodians of these ancient scripts, Agathiyar directed me in the Nadi to give a token in cash to them too. I began my worship of the Siddhas that day. What if I had not followed up on Agathiyar's directives? Where would I be today?

Eager to know more about the Siddhas I embarked on a search. There were so many twists and turns and turn of events in this journey. A movement came to my mind for I had seen them collecting donations in the streets to feed the hungry. I headed out to the Agathiyar Sanmarga Sangam in Dengkil. I was met by a very pleasant devotee Anbarasan who explained to me about their parent movement Ongaraakudil in Turaiyur, India, and its many activities that were followed closely by his movement here. I began to drop in on them where I purchased literature on the Siddhas and VCD's of talks and speeches given by their patron Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar. It was an eye-opener coming to know that another aspect of worship and practice that was lesser-known, existed, running parallel to the popular mainstream devotion as in temples. As this movement was very much focused on feeding the hungry, and as I thirst to learn about puja or worship I began to look elsewhere too. Searching for movements carrying Agathiyar's names, I went to the Agathiyar Gurukulam in Kampong Laksamana in Batu Caves next. But they had shifted to the worship of Ramalinga Adigal and were engrossed in following his doctrines. So did I drop in on many other smaller establishments but none quenched my thirst to know about the worship of the Siddhas. 

In 2003 I made my maiden pilgrimage to India bringing the list of temples that Agathiyar specified in my Nadi along. Apart from the many temples stated by Agathiyar, I wanted very much to go to Ongarakudil and meet Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar having heard much about him from his followers in Dengkil Ashram. The late Thiru Nadarajah welcomed me and made arrangements for me to see Swami one to one. But I returned disappointed that he did not bless me. When I asked him to bless me several times, he finally told me that "Coming to Ongaraakudil was itself a blessing!" I was not happy at all. This bugged me for a long time. The question as to why he did not bless me was answered by Agathiyar a couple of years later in the Nadi. But I was not happy with Agathiyar's answer too. He asked me to go again and told me that I shall receive his blessings then. But I never went. Today I pretty well understand the reason why my wish was not granted. I was destined to meet my guru Supramania Swami a couple of days later in Tiruvannamalai. As Yogi Ramsuratkumar told his aid the reason for not blessing a devotee who had arrived before the Yogi having visited another saint in Kerala, that he did not want to disturb the energy transfers that he had received from the saint, maybe Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar had foreseen my meeting my guru and did not want to come in the way. If he had blessed me that day I would have devoted myself to him and his movement. But a switch was necessary then for I had to fulfill Supramania Swami's wishes. 

At the end of the two-week pilgrimage, I met my very first guru Supramania Swami in Tiruvannamalai by accident. Or was it predestined and arranged? Asking to bring me to an astrologer to chart my second daughter's horoscope, my driver Deventhiran of Chennai brought me to his uncle in a small village some 8 kilometers away from Tiruvannamalai. Supramania Swami revealed about me without drawing up my horoscope. He revealed the contents of the Nadi without me telling him. Sitting with his eyes closed, opening them once in a while, he could look into my future. I sat before him mesmerized and tears draining from my eyes for a solid 5 hours. It was tears of gratitude. I bid farewell to him as the sun set on the small village of Nachaananthaal. Even when he gave me a Theecha Mantra and send me off, I did not know the significance of the moment. I had not identified him as the guru whom I shall meet that Agathiyar had mentioned in the Nadi reading until I reached my hotel. Only then I sat down to make some sense of all that had taken place. A wonderful relationship was cemented that day between a guru and a disciple. We started to build a temple that was a long-standing desire of Supramania Swami but the divine came to stop it while it was in its infant stage asking Swami who was a Gnani, why he was stepping back into Bakthi? I had to fulfill his last wish to feed a thousand people in Tiruvannamalai upon the completion of his silent fast too before he went into samadhi in 2007. I did it with assistance from Deva and Jnana Jothiamma in 2013.

Returning home I was shuttling between work and worshipping the Siddhas. I was blessed that my family joined me in the worship of the Siddhas too, reciting their names in front of a painting of Agathiyar given to me by Sivabalan who housed Sentilkumar in his home. I would call up or drop in at Dengkil ashram for updates and to purchase more books and VCDs. I kept in touch with Supramania Swami initially by snail mail and STD calls and by phone later. 

In 2005, seeing an advert in the Tamil daily on the visit of Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram to officiate an affiliate branch of his in Batu Caves I made an appointment with the host to meet him. I asked Tavayogi if he was the same Thaai Veedu Thangarsan M.A. mentioned in a leaflet that Senthilkumar had passed me in 2002. He replied "Yes" and that it was true that he wanted to build a temple for Agathiyar at Kallar. When I told him Agathiyar had asked me to come to the worship of the Siddhas he pointed me to the local affiliate and asked me to frequent it. When I told him that it was high time I saw the Nadi again as Agathiyar had mentioned me to come in for a reading again when I was 45 years of age, Tavayogi pointed me to Nadi Nool Aasan T.Ramesh who was in town then. Agathiyar in that Nadi pointed me to the local chapter too. But I guess Agathiyar had a change of mind. He erased the Nadi reading and rewrote it switching my route and my life. Instead of patronizing the local chapter of Tavayogi's Peedham, Agathiyar asked me to go over to Kallar Ashram and spend some days with Tavayogi. I came under the direct tutelage of Tavayogi. I am grateful to Agathiyar for making that switch. Tavayogi brought my family and friends into the worship too. Thus began a wonderful relationship between a guru and his student. 

In 2010 Agathiyar had me commission his statue in Swamimalai and worship him in my home. My home was initially meant to be a transit point while waiting for the Jegathguru Sri Raghavendra Mritiga Brindavanam Kinta to be completed. But Agahiyar who was meant to go there opted to stay put with us. He had another devotee sponsor another statue of his at the Brindavanam. Agathiyar since then moved in permanently with us. Agathiyar in remaining behind with us elevated my home to that of his Vanam. Lord Murugan later called it Tapovanam. With the arrival of the Siddhas it has become Gnana Kottam. We are blessed. It all happened for the sole reason that I went with the flow, never questioning the change. 

Even as I landed in India on my maiden journey in 2003 Raji who was assigned to pick me up from Chennai airport fell ill and Deva turned up. If the switch did not take place, I would not have met Deva's uncle Supramania Swami then. 

It was because Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar did not bless me that I became aligned to Supramania Swami and Tavayogi. 

If Agathiyar had not intervened and erased my earlier Nadi reading that asked that I align with the local chapter of Tavayogi's Peedham, and rerouted me to Tavayogi directly in another reading, my destiny would be otherwise. 

I continued to grow with Tavayogi after Supramania Swami went into samadhi in 2007. He gave me total freedom to experiment, change, and modify the rituals to suit our multiracial society. We used to call each other on the phone. He made subsequent visits to Malaysia in 2007, 2008, 2010, and finally in 2016 before he went into samadhi in 2018.

MY FIRST BOOK OF SIDDHA SONGS

I was retrieving files from my numerous external harddisks when I discovered a clean copy of a file that I thought I had lost except for a single hardcopy that I kept. Imagine my joy in finding it. This was my very first compilation of the names of the Siddhas and other songs I used to sing at home. I share them with you.

A SOUL STORY

The Prapanjam has provided us well with sustenance. The divine created us well equipped for us to go about our lives. It brought together a family, siblings, partner, and children to cheer and brighten our otherwise lonely life. Amidst all these it wanted us to spare some moments for it too. Are we doing it? We seem to devout our entire life caring for ourselves and our needs. Occasionally we pass a thing or two to the person next to us telling ourselves that we have done our part in giving charity. Our daily worship, if we do it, is to stand before the altar and raise our hands in prayer and ask for more goodies in life. Life has become mechanical. Everything else too has become mechanical in nature. The natural world doesn't amaze us anymore. Its beauty and sights don't amuse us. The natural sounds don't bring joy to us. Nature around us doesn't touch and rekindle us. Man has become a machine too. He has become numb to the many magical moments around us. Even on a walk-through in nature, we keep talking instead of taking in the sights and smells of nature. Even sitting in its midst we stare not at the greenery around us but the smartphone screen. Even when accompanying a temple chariot we still talk incessantly about other matters. Even while queuing up to see the deity we continue our stories. We are missing a lot. We fail to live in the present. Our mind is engaged in continuous activity. There is never a moment when it settles. 

Looking around us and looking back at history we see scientists and researchers have made a notable difference. Their inventions have changed the face of the world. We are grateful for every discovery they made. These have benefited millions. We are grateful for every product that accentuates our homes and lives. But if we are not disciplined in using these gadgets or not in control, they take over our lives. Before the pandemic, we saw devotees in temples raising their arms up. If we thought that they were raising their arms up in prayer, we were disappointed. They raised their hands to take pictures and videos. During family dinners and reunions, each member brings out his smartphone and looks at it. He won't even know if a fly sat on his food and he swallowed it. He doesn't savor the food anymore but gulps it down his digestive track mechanically. His walk has changed now with his head lowered watching the smartphone. We are so engrossed in technology that we wake up to the smartphone rather than see the palms of our hands as our elders once did. Technology has to be used wisely. 

Not all is lost though. It has made tremendous strides in the fields of manufacturing, medical, and space travel among others. If our ancestors had to live with blindness before, science has made men, women, and children who were blind see again.

I know now the joy of regaining one's eyesight. I did not know I had a cataract in both my eyes. When I went to the eye clinic at a hospital for frequent headaches in 2012, they did not tell me I had a cataract then. I suppose it must have developed later. I had always gone to the optician regularly to check and have a new pair of glasses made, the last one in 2020. Obviously, they could not tell me either. It was only when I took my daughter to check her eyesight for her problem that I discovered I had a cataract. We have been operated on. I realized that I had seen the world in a different shade of color all this while. White wasn't actually white. Now it is. I have begun rediscovering the colors of the world again. It simply amazes me. Can't wait for the pandemic to be over when I want to go back into nature to explore its beauty. My daughter's eyesight too was saved thanks to the doctors and nurses, the technology made available, and to our beloved guru Agathiyar who looked over all matters. 

We have to take stock of our lives. It's never too late. We have to look for a purpose in living, coming out of the mundane. We need to spend more time looking around and looking at the small miracles that happen each moment. We are grateful to the many documentary channels for bringing these wonders into our living rooms. Let us bring our children out into nature more often once we are able to. I believe this pandemic has made us treasure those moments when we could safely go out on a picnic, a swim, or on a nature trail or hike. It has surely made me appreciate life.

If the Bhogis indulge in excessive pleasure and bring on themselves pain and diseases, the Yogis torture their bodies to attain enlightenment. The Rogis who are left out without a purpose start disturbing the other two. Let us take stock of our lives. Before we know it Dr. Doom shall knock on our door reminding us that it's time to leave. Even then we try to stall him telling him that there is so much more to do and accomplish both for himself and for others too. But it is too late. Whether we like it or not he thugs the rope that binds our soul reaping it away as the body falls to the ground. Our soul isn't prepared for these moments and laments crying aloud. A friend's uncle was shouting aloud on his deathbed at the hospital accusing "someone" of reaching into presumably "his pant pockets" as he was seen brushing his sides, and dipping their hands into his money! He still had a strong hold on money even when he breathed his last. Those with desires suffer a long death, struggling to leave, wanting to hold back. For some, they do not realize that their soul has separated and they only learn that they had died the hard way, witnessing from afar, their cries not heard and not able to reach out to their family and friends. For the one who is trained as in the Buddhist monks in the monastery and some masters who learned to face death, they determine their time of passing away. This is going into a state of samadhi, reaching out and merging with the source on our own accord. This is truly attaining Siva Patham or the feet of Shiva and not otherwise. This is only achieved with training and preparedness. Watching the Nepali documentary movie "Karma" we see the Reverend nun of the nunnery slowly leave her body with awareness and fully prepared. She tells the second in line, "The time has come... I wonder how it will be when I leave you all... Promise to guide me firmly... I will soon know the value of my practice... Today I have this desire to drink from your hands... We go back a long way, don't we? It seems the time has come... I am ready."

To make it easy on her soul and help her consciously leave and move into the other realm she is guided by the nun who is next in line. The nun keeps speaking to the Reverend. "Can you hear me? Rich or poor, no one can escape the inevitable when it comes. Your thoughts will scatter like sheep running in different directions. Watch them gently bring them back to its nature. Now death is at hand. Try to recognize the process for what it is. At this moment settling your mind on your Root Lama, pray. Don't worry about the nunnery and us."

The soul leaves with the thought of the Moola Guru or Root Lama. How beautiful. In these days where the next in line of missions are impatient to take charge, champion, or challenge their rightful ownership of the establishment, here we do not see powerplay or impatience to lead. These nuns have completely surrendered themselves to the will of Buddha. Sadly this does not happen in our society. We wail and cry and make things worst for the soul, even more difficult for it to depart. 

We are blessed that although in the heyday of the British Colonial Empire, Indians were treated badly, one good thing that came out of it was the abolishment of the ritual suttee where the widow jumps into the burning pyre of her deceased husband either voluntarily or forced by her relatives. 

In the 16th century, steps to prohibit suttee were taken by the Mughal rulers Humayun and his son Akbar. Suttee became a central issue under the British Raj, which first tolerated it, then inadvertently legalized it by legislating conditions under which it could be done, and then finally, in 1829, outlawed it...... (Source: https://www.britannica.com/topic/suttee)

When I was with Supramania Swami in 2005, he told me he shall pass away when he was 76 years of age. He should know for he was an astrologer too. He did pass away on 7 February 2007 when he turned 76.  But what surprised us all was that he had noted the exact date and time of his passing in his diary that was recovered by his family after his death. He too had returned from the hospital giving him a clean slate. He had gone in for chest pain. He told me he was going into a 48-day silent fasting regime and he would not be speaking to anyone. I mistakenly called him a few days after he was into the fast that began on the eve of Thaipusam on 1 February 2007. He answered the phone. I apologized for breaking his fast. He replied that he did not mind talking to me. He told me that he had seen the Jhothi and had to work on it further. I was so happy for him. He told me further that he wanted to extend his fast to 60 days and asked me to arrange to feed a thousand people around Tiruvannamalai after its completion. These were his last words to me. A week had only gone by when we received the news of his departure. I did not shed a tear for I knew all his dreams were fulfilled. His 40-year yearning to build a temple was fulfilled in a sense though a Siddha stopped him from pursuing it further. We built a kudil or cottage for him to call his own close to his guru Yogi Ramsuratkumar's ashram. What I did not expect was that he rewarded me by giving away all his merits attained from his lifelong tapas to this undeserving soul. Agathiyar did not classify his passing as death but instead told me that he had gone into samadhi. He should know for he sees the soul while we only see the lifeless body. 

When Tavayogi sought medical attention at the hospital for a urinary infection, he was also diagnosed as having three blockages. He succumbed to further complications, after the operation. The last words he spoke to me over the phone was that in the event he doesn't return to his ashram, Mataji Saroini Ammaiyar will lead the ashram. Asking to be discharged on 3 June 2018, he spent two hours at his ashram before passing away. I did not shed a tear for I knew that he was with Lord Shiva. Agathiyar had told his daughter in the Nadi many years back that Lord Shiva and Parvathi would come in a Pushpavimanam or Flower Chariot to usher his soul back. Dhanvantri came later to inform us that they did not classify his passing away as death as some quarters believed but instead told us that he had gone into samadhi. He should know for he sees the soul while we only see the lifeless body. A devotee had a dream shortly after his passing away, where Lord Shiva was ferrying several souls in a boat with Tavayogi one of them, heading for an island paradise populated by sages and Siddhas. Supramania Swami who purposely left an opening in the wall of his living area of his kudil told me that he wanted a clear view of the holy hill of Arunachala while lying on his traditional woven bed the Manji. On my visit in 2005, I saw that he had closed the opening with a gunny sack. Calling the hill "Hill of Fire" or Neruppu Malai, he reasoned that the hill that glowed was too much for his eyes to behold. But he did mention seeing sages and Siddhars atop it. 

We too have to be prepared. If one has unfulfilled desires the soul will find it difficult to detach itself from the body. My late father died peacefully at home. He did not have any wants. He was a happy man. Though a wealthy man in his prime he gave away his property and money. In his final days, he stayed with my elder brother. I guess my father had learned the art of dying in peace at some time in the past when he served a master in an ashram in India. Originally from India, he returned to India to settled for good in an ashram. But the master after some time told him that he had responsibilities towards his family in Malaysia and asked him to return. He returned but never went back. He was a relatively quiet person speaking only when there was a need. He did not have friends come over for a chat. He was never seen hosting parties; neither did he attend them. He used to talk with God sharing his troubles with none other. He would do gardening and watch the television. The day he passed away 12 December 1991, when he asked that my mother iron his clothes that should have rung a bell. He asked my mother to make him coffee. That too should have indicated that something was amiss for throughout his life he made his own coffee. He had just watched completely the weekly Tamil movie aired on the local station. When my mother returned with the coffee he was not in his chair that was "parked" beside the front entrance. He was instead seated on the floor in the opposite corner. Only the white of his eyes (sclera) was visible (His pupils were raised, merged on the Ajna). Seeing his legs were tugged in (Padmasana pose) my mother pulled at them releasing his twisted legs. My father toppled over onto her lap. He passed away peacefully. His last moments came as a surprise to us for we had never seen him do any form of Yoga practice. I regret that I had not tapped into his knowledge and experience staying at the ashram. I do not even know who was his guru. 

Traditionally being moneylenders hailing from the village Kilasevalpatti in the Sivagangai District, he worshipped Lord Vengadasalapathy (Lord Vishnu) and later moved to the worship of Lord Muruga. 10 years later I received a Lord Vishnu mantra mysteriously conveyed through my nephew. I was told that reciting the mantra would prepare me to meet my guru. The source was revealed later. It was from Agathiyar. A year later I read the Nadi. Agathiyar came as my guru. He in turn told me that I shall meet my guru in the physical form. The following year I met Supramania Swami at Tiruvannamalai. Agathiyar introduced me to a guru on the Siddha path later in 2005. I met Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram, India in Malaysia. My discipleship to gurus in physical form stopped with them. The Siddhas came to teach us directly bringing the deities with them too. I guess my father had put in a good word to them asking that his children too be saved.

PUTTING THINGS INTO ITS RIGHT PERSPECTIVE

I messaged Srinatha Raghavan on his numerous captivating and informative Fb posts. "There are so many amazing stories out there. Your writings add to this amazement. TQVM." He replied aptly, "It's everyone's collective faith ayya that adds to the beauty of the Divine. Like the Honey Bees, each doing our respective Dharma to the best of our abilities, but at the same time honoring the Queen in our midst by keeping Her happy and at peace." That was a beautiful epitome. That is what this blog is all about too. A collection of stories. 

Our life is made of stories. Each day there is a new story beginning or an old one ending or a continuation of previous stories. Finally, the last chapter is written on our deathbed and the story ends. We leave behind our novel. If very few attempt to keep a journal or document their lives, or write a novel, everyone leaves his life story behind leaving their mark on others too. You only have an interesting story to tell if you have achieved something, right? Ramalinga Adigal spelled out his achievements in the songs he penned sharing his spiritual experiences in simple language. When many in an orthodox way opt to keep their divine experiences a secret close to their chest, he daringly exposed them not that he was boastful of his achievements but to show the compassion that the divine was capable of showering on him. He wanted each of us to receive the divine's grace and compassion too. But it was an uphill task and a battle for him. Many a time he voiced his worry about the future of his followers in public. Kalpattu Ramalingam or more commonly addressed as Kalpattu Aiya who held him and his words dear to his heart would faint on hearing Ramalinga Adigal lament his sadness. Gnana Bharathi in his book "Tamil Mannin Thanthai" writes about these numerous instances where Ramalinga Adigal expressed his sadness. In one instance Ramalinga Adigal was saddened that his followers were not heeding his words and openly announced his displeasure at them. Kalpattu Ramalingam who was sitting among them, upon hearing these words of his master, suddenly fainted. Ramalinga Adigal arose and went over to where Kalpattu Ramalingam lay and revived him, mentioning, "I did not mean you". In another instance, Ramalinga Adigal stated his disappointment to them on his followers not heeding his teachings. He passed on to Kalpattu Ramalingam and Karanapattu Kandasamy his doctrines. 

Agathiyar too tells us to buck up and reach his state. Tavayogi when he was in Malaysia in 2016, was happy to see a following at AVM dedicated to the worship of the Siddhas something he had cherished in his heart for some seven years. When we arranged to have similar prayers in the homes of these devotees he was even happier. But sadly our wish to see this worship continue in the homes of these devotees did not take place. Agathiyar told us he had waited seven years for each home to become an Agathiyar Vanam. It did not happen. 

As a result of his severe tapas and its resulting Tava Kanal, Kalpattu Ramalingam's body became fiery hot and he developed burnt wounds. Seeing him in torment, Ramalinga Adigal commanded that Kalpattu Ramalingam be given food once a day. Once Ramalinga Adigal was away for days on end. Before leaving he gave instructions and reminded his followers to send food to Kalpattu Ramalingam daily. But sadly it was not done. Once on arrival back at Dharmasalai, Ramalinga Adigal inquired if Kalpattu Ramalingam was served food in his absence. As his followers stood in shame and remained silent, Ramalinga Adigal summoned them to bring food and headed straight for Kalpattu Ramalingam's kudil. He fed him with his own hands that day, taking him to another level of bliss. 

If Ramalinga Adigal built the Dharmasalai to feed the hungry and passed on the full responsibility of running it to Kalpattu Ramalingam before retiring to Siddhivalagam, Agathiyar is said to fancy cooking huge meals and feeding others too. He is said to feed the elements by serving people food. 

Last week I came across a transcription of a seminar given by Sri Kumar in the Nilagiri Hills in 1996 about Agastya, Master Jupiter. ..... He has great, round eyes, is often traveling with his disciples and loves to cook and to serve. Through serving food he likes to spread himself into the people and thus to adjust any imbalances in the mental, emotional, and physical bodies. 

In the scriptures there is the story that once a group of disciples in the Himalaya had the questions who is the one fasting most, and Maitreya told them, “It is Agastya, he never eats.” They wanted to see Agastya and went to him. Agastya said: "Observe me for three days.” They were very surprised to see him cooking, eating and serving. He was not missing any meal, and every meal was from our standpoint very excessive in its quantity. After three days the group asked: "We have not understood your way of fasting.” He answered: "In so far as you don’t feel that you are eating, it is fasting.”

He does not think he is eating. He lives in tune with the universal consciousness and in such a tune-up the food is given to all the elementals around him with himself as the channel. (Source: https://blog.good-will.ch/WordPress/2010/10/23/rishi-agastya-a-little-miracle-and-some-stories/ )

Once as they were traveling in a cart drawn by a bull, Ramalinga Adigal laid his head on the thigh of Kalpattu Ramalingam and took a short nap. Suddenly tears streamed from his eyes and drenched Kalpattu Ramalingam's thighs, the floor of the cart, and dripped onto the earthen road they traveled. Watching this unusual phenomenon, questions arose in Kalpattu Ramalingam. Ramalinga Adigal eventually quenched his thirst to know the reason for his continuous stream of tears. Ramalinga Adigal had thought for a moment, "When would he see the day where peace would prevail by God's grace, where all suffering ends, where all are merged in eternal bliss, and where all come in unison bonded by love for each other". Kalpattu Ramalingam on hearing this from Ramalinga Adigal wept thinking how many people actually think about this or have this thought. Kalpattu Ramalingam too prayed to see the day where all sufferings end and only bliss prevails. 

When the disciples of Ramalinga Adigal addressed him as Swami he did not like it. He did not want that name to be used on his publications too. He considered himself a servant of God or adigal. These true gurus never wanted us to worship them forever but to achieve their state and stand at par with them. That is their desire and wish. Although Agathiyar had me start with idol worship too he slowly made me realize he was in me too like in everyone else if they only realized. He weaned us off rituals one fine day. 

This human phase is well equipped to bring us back to the source. Ramalinga Adigal did just that "evaporating", "disintegrating", "disassemble" called it anything, but he did achieve the impossible. He sent his physical body back into its elements quite similar to what is shown in the movie "Lucy". Ramalinga Adigal rehearsed this process several times before finally announcing to his followers that he would not return. He had the door to his room in Siddhivalagam locked from outside leaving the oil lamp he had worship outside for his followers to worship the flame. But the most compassionate saint came back for his follower Kalpattu Ramalingam some 25 years later to take hold of his hand and bring him into the state of samadhi. 

But for many of us we are paralyzed by Maya or illusion drawing its curtains and veiling us and bringing us to become amused in the pleasures of life and eventually stagnate where we stand. I too am often distracted by them and need to remind myself of Agathiyar's prayer for us, to evolve from man to divine. Having come a long way from the source that was light, sound, and vibration; "the atoms that are the simplest form of matter becoming molecules by binding through chemical reactions". "Like atoms binding together to become elements that are the simplest forms of substances", giving rise to earth, water, fire, air, ether that later became courser and complex gross matter, that in turn gave rise to minerals, plants, and vegetations, insects, reptiles and animals, in the evolution ladder till we came to be gifted this human birth. 

Agathiyar too in his 5 tenets for mankind directs us to return to our source helping others to achieve it once we learn the art of it. We are purposed here to find the way back and elevate the state of others too be it the mineral kingdom, plant kingdom, animal kingdom, or humans. The search for answers as to how and what we are doing here, our true purpose, etc doesn't come to many. If Agathiyar distinguished the souls as born out of Bhogam or pleasures and indulging in the pleasures of the senses, and those born to become Yogis seeking the truth, there is yet another that of Rogis mentioned elsewhere. These souls are out to harm others. Gnanabharathi writes the following two obvious categories of souls - the Pakkuva Urpatti and Apakkuva Urpatti.

நம் அருளாளர்களாகிய சித்தர் பெருமக்கள் நமக்கு சுட்டிக் காட்டியபடி கிடைப்பதற்கு அரிதாகிய இந்த மானிட தேகப் பிறப்பானது பக்குவ உற்பத்தி அபக்குவ உற்பத்தி என்னும் இரண்டு வகைகளாகப் பிரிக்கப்படுகிறது. 

Tavayogi in his speeches in explaining the many variants on the path to spirituality among its devotees poses several questions. There are those who undertake pilgrimages throughout their lives believing that God shall give his Darshan. Another sits in one place and does rituals believing that God shall give him Darshan too. Another believes he can merge with God through the practice of Yoga. Finally, there are those who seek Gnanam searching in the deep jungles and caves for someone or anyone who could enlighten them. Can God be known by going on pilgrimages? Can God be known by chanting crores of mantras? Can God be known by putting the body, mind, and spirit through austerities as in Yoga? Or can it be attained through Gnana or true understanding? 

One who has come from temple worship to the recitation of mantras and in performing rituals on seeing its efficacy turns to one who is trapped in temple worship and gives him a hand. The one who is in Yogam having experienced its multifold benefits begins to share the rewards with those stagnated in temple worship and caught in rituals teaching them the science of Yoga. One who had seen the bliss and joy attainable in meditation questions another engaged in doing rituals. Then finally the Gnani tells us that God is not out there but within us. 

It is only when we are dealt a blow that we seek answers. Many seek the Nadi for these answers. While many leave indifferent to the outcome of these readings, others carry out the remedies given. For those who decide to worship the Siddhas, Agathiyar gives them tasks to carry out, slowly elevating them from the status of a devotee or servant to a companion. He comes to live with us. He brings us from temple worship in Sariyai that was introduced by our parents to Kriyai, bringing a guru to show us the way to doing rituals personally minus the middleman. Then he brings us to Yoga the stepping stone to the final phase of the journey, paving the way and eventually elevating us from the state of a Bhogi to a Yogi. Today we understand from Agathiyar that the souls living the life of a Bhogi trapped by their senses and immersed in the pleasures of life can indeed make a breakthrough in escaping its hold, switching its purpose with the aid of the Siddhas. They then begin to yearn to know their true purpose and take steps to attain it. 

Tavayogi upon ending his life as a householder upon attaining the age of fifty, left his family, home, and business to roam the length and breadth of India, as a mendicant. Then he carried out tapas or austerities in the jungles and caves of Uthiyur, Kuttrallam, and  Sathuragiri among many other places. Coming away from hibernating in Sathuragiri he looks for a place to go into samadhi. Agathiyar stops him and directs him to Kallar where he sets up a small cottage to stay in and preach the teachings of the Siddhas. Agathiyar then sends him over to Malaysia, and Singapore to preach the path. In promoting the path he built a temple for Agathiyar and the Siddhas. When I questioned him his reason to do so knowing that he had always wanted us to leave temple worship and come into the fold of Gnana, he replied that it was not for him but for the masses. Meanwhile, Supramania Swami who carried a forty-year-old desire to build a temple in Tiruvannamalai was stopped just as we were getting started on laying the foundation by a Siddha who arrived at his doorstep of his kudil at the proposed temple grounds. He asked Swami who was a Gnani, why he was making a u-turn returning to bhakti? In the local arena, a head of a ashram carrying the name of Agathiyar confronted me as to why I was worshipping an idol and lambasted me for it, throwing the books and songs of Sivavakiyar at me denying and denouncing idol worship even after I tried to explain that it was a directive from Agathiyar in my Nadi. If he had been in the Marga or path for the past 35 years and was a veteran, he failed to understand that I was a freshie, new to the worship of the Siddhas and I needed external worship. He could be right in his views. He might have seen the spiritual progress take place within him. But it was wrong of him to snatch my book of ABC and throw it away and push a treatise of Siddha Philosophy in the face of a beginner. On another note, some hold on only to the words of their masters who had achieved these states of bliss and defame others for their ways, faith, and belief. Sadly many do not accept that it is all a much-needed process of evolution of the soul but instead shun or slur, slander, or insult others with derogatory words for their faith in their practices and their belief in the path, forgetting for a moment that their ancestors, forefathers, parents and they themselves till a certain time were engaged in one of these means or ways. One has to accept the fact that we are all not the same as Tavayogi classifies man into three categories namely peat, charcoal, and petrol, based on its properties of ignition and catching fire. Understandably, the ability to receive and understand, to pick up what is said and meant, differs among us. Many are slow to understand and catch up. As such they shall eventually come by and turn up at God's doorstep. It is a matter between them and God. Let us reserve our comments. 

I am reminded of a story shared by a friend. Those who feasted and ate the food served by a king fell ill. When Chitragupta, the keeper of our karma in taking stock of the karma asked Lord Shiva if the king should be accountable and if he should write it to his account, Siva asked him to hold on. When the king hosted another feast, several sadhus on their way to the palace, reconfirmed the event with an old lady whom they met on the way. The old lady turned to them and cautioned them saying that they shall die if they ate the food. Lord Shiva called up Chitragupta and told him to write the karma on that old lady. Lord Shiva knew the actual reason for the food getting contaminated the first time around. An eagle had picked up a snake in its claws and had flown over the palace grounds. The venom from the snake had fallen into the pot of food and it was served resulting in the deaths. Here is a lesson for all of us. We should learn to hold our tongue if we do not know the reason for something taking place. 

Today we understand pretty well that it is all a process of evolution of the soul in its quests to become divine. P.Karthigayan writes at https://yogascience.angelfire.com/siddhaphilosophy12563.htm, 

Siddhas have identified that the human birth is the best among the creations of God and the same should be spent in realization of the Superior (The God). They have identified that the attempts of human beings towards divine realization falls under four broad categtories, viz.,
Sariyai, Kiriyai, Yogam and Gnanam . Sariyai refers to external spiritual approach; Kiriyai refers to an external and internal spiritual approach; Yogam refers to an internal approach and finally Gnanam refers to spiritual realization. All these four are inter-related. Therefore, these four are further sub-grouped into four each, as Sariyai in Sariyai, Kiriyai in Sariyai, Yogam in Sariyai and Gnanam in Sariyai, and so on.

Thus, Yogam, presently dealt by us as Ashtanga Yogam, (or Raja Yogam as called by Siddhas) is also categorized into four parts viz., Sariyai in Yogam, Kiriyai in Yogam, Yogam in Yogam and Gnanam in Yogam. The first four steps of Ashtanga yoga, viz., Iyamam, Niyamam, Aadhanam and Pranayamam, are grouped under Sariyai in Yogam. The steps Prathiyagaram and Tharanai are grouped under Kiriyai in Yogam. The step Dyanam is Yogam in Yogam and finally, Samadhi is Gnanam in Yogam.

All the words of Tavayogi ring a bell now. I can relate now to whatever Tavayogi had said when he was around. He never had us gather around him and gave spiritual discourses. Instead, his teachings came by way of a passing statement as he passes us, while we travel with him or as we sit alone feeding our thoughts. As I walk the path I see similar episodes from the times I was with him that I could relate to. As we experience these moments too we came to realize the truth of his words though very brief had much depth and inner and subtle meanings. Watching recordings of his speeches during major events I realized the truth in the simple statements that he made then. Its meanings only have begun to dawn on us now. At times I ask myself if Agathiyar had walked the earth in the form of Tavayogi? Agathiyar seems to repeat these words of Tavayogi or is it the other way around? He introduced us to Agathiyar and showed us the path and the way and stood back never interfering henceforth. He watched from a distance watching silently our progress. He never created a following for him but instead had us all follow only Agathiyar. While others saw Tavayogi and his flaws, we only saw his messages and held on to them. We never saw the messenger. Even when we went for the Nadi reading we only saw the message and not the messenger. Only the message was important not the messenger. Hence it was easy on us to let Tavayogi go when the time came for him to leave his mortal frame. Today even if he is not around us in the physical form, life goes on with us worshipping Agathiyar and the Siddhas because he had laid the way and the means and given us the tools too. Just as Agathiyar did not carry a Sivalinga to be worshipped wherever he laid his foot, but instead created one and left it behind, we cannot carry all the tools with us. We have to make do with what is available at that time and place. We too need to leave something behind for others. Besides leaving our children to carry our name we need to leave our mark here right now. Hence the reason Tavayogi started the enormous task of building an ashram cum temple/ meditation hall and left it behind. Supramania Swami too told me that he would have to leave behind the merits gained from his forty-year tapas or austerities. 

The Siddha faith is a living faith where we see ourselves evolve spiritually. It is very much alive and practical, not something carved out in stone or books or fossilized. Even their Nadi becomes very much alive and appears in real-time as we walk with them and gain their trust, as opposed to the initial readings written in the past. 

By reaching out to Agathiyar it does not mean an end to patronizing temples. God has been fossilized in the form he appeared to some in the past. These forms have been carried for generations. We have held on to that for ages. Our ancestors followed, our parents followed and now we too follow. Our children and grandchildren shall follow too. There is nothing wrong with it. We all started there once. Our parents took our hands and brought them together pointing out to us that God resides in the temples. My second granddaughter who just turned one year brings together her palms in prayer and looks up towards the flight of steps, knowing pretty well that their altar is on the living area of the first floor. But with the coming of Tavayogi he wanted us to come out of temple worship. Tavayogi in sharing his experience tells us that Agathiyar came as a voice and stopped him from jumping onto the tracks of an oncoming train. This was before he shed his role as a householder. He tells us that Agathiyar came to him as light in the hills of Kallar when he came there to go into samadhi. He tells us that he came in person to ask what he was going to do for me on my first night out with him in his ashram in 2005. Tavayogi points me to the skies, the breeze that blows across our faces and sends a chill down our backs, the aroma and sweet smell that lingers in the air away from the maddening crowd of the cities while walking alone in the jungles. These are signs of Agathiyar and the Siddhas to look for he says as he hurried on and I struggled to keep pace in the jungles. If he had told me that Agathiyar was God during my first initiation, during subsequent initiations he tells me that Vaasi or the breath is Agathiyar. Later he tells me that Lord Shiva and Agathiyar were one. Agathiyar on the other hand, in revealing his form tells us that he is not the midget as he is portrayed on the walls of the temples. Tavayogi too told us that he was a six-footer and has installed a statue to correct the previous perception at his ashram. Then the lesser Gods told us that he was Goddess Ma. Agathiyar came to tell us that he was Prapanjam and that the Prapanjam was in him. Then he comes to tell us that he is the very vibration that creates, sustains, destroys, veils and graces all, bringing a close to all the disputes and confusion as to whether God had a form, name, and gender. All these revelations are meant to progressively break our hold on forms and names as we walk the path. So there is indeed no right and wrong about it. Each has a purpose just as we have one too.

We have been bound even in individual and personal matters regarding the search for God. The rulebook is thrown at us. Religion lays down rules. We have to conform to regulations. Customs and traditions dictate our lives. We need to please others. Tavayogi once told me that a Siddha can never be bound. Similarly, the soul needs to be free to evolve. No constraints. No rules. Now we understand why Agathiyar praised Ramalinga Adigal, Bharathi, and Periyaar telling us that only they could do what they came to do. 

As we walk into Siddha worship, it too comes with the rituals that are conducted in the temples. Initially these are needed to build a bridge between their realm and ours. When the Siddha begin to reside in these statues, in our homes and our hearts, these rituals are then only taken up when there is a need for them as in current times of the pandemic. Slowly we are led to acknowledge the soul within us. There is a paradigm shift towards the soul and the means of salvation, moving away from the previous life of looking after our affairs and occasionally popping into a temple. We begin to see life from the perspective of a Siddha. They only see the soul, not the body. Agathiyar wants us to reckon the soul within as the link to God. P Karthigayan in his book "History of Medical and Spiritual Sciences of Siddhas of Tamil Nadu" defines the soul as the bridge between the body and the spirit. But they tell us that for the soul to continue in the body we need to take extra care of this body that has now become a temple. All the senses that were running wild captivated by the lures of the world around need to be harnessed and a harness put on it. The senses rather than accumulating more karma by its actions and deeds now tug not the baggage of karma but a wagon laden with God's gospel dispensing them to all those willing to give an ear. We know of many saints including Arunagiri and the Nalvar and Nayanmars after gaining Gnanam entered temples bringing the many lilas or plays of the Divine to the common folks, in the form of songs and pathigams, helping to strengthen their faith further. Many are the stories of miracles performed by these saints too. 

We too were witnesses to many stories regarding the deities. During one of our excursions in feeding the hungry, we served food parcels at a temple late afternoon towards the evening. We were apprehended by the temple priests telling us that to hand out only after the Nithya or daily puja to Mother Goddess. The reason being only then shall she see the good deed that we were doing! Although I thought that it was absurd and absolutely ridiculous, I held my tongue as we were in God's presence. If we go by his words, does that mean that the deity watches us only after the doors to the temples are opened? Is the deity, like us working certain hours a day? Does she retire after dark? Who then saves us if something were to happen during these hours of her absence? Sadly we are bound and tied by so many rules and regulations in these public places of worship. But we still have to respect them for as the saying goes "When in Rome, do as the Romans do."

In another venue, Goddess Ma came to a devotee telling him that she was not there in the place of worship for there was no righteousness in managing the place. She only comes when a good soul steps into her temple. 

Agathiyar in the initial years of worship at AVM used to say in the Nadi readings that he had arrived from either Kallar or Pothigai to address his devotees gathered in worship. He would then tell us that he had to leave immediately to settle other chores and at times telling us that he was summoned by Lord Shiva. Later he used to spend more time and carry out tapas here, the venue becoming a transit camp for him now. Then he sort of had a leg in our home and was always on-call for us. Today he has come to reside and stay with us permanently. Walking into his room we feel his presence 24/7. 

It can only mean that the Siddhas are here to make a difference. They expect to see us evolve too. If we have not evolved on this Siddha path and continue to carry out the directives given on day one till this day, it only means that we have stagnated. Many rests on their laurels or the words of the Siddhas stagnating in time. The Siddha path is like a river forever flowing reaching out to people on both banks throughout its journey. 

I was a Bhogi too until Agathiyar came to redeem me through the Nadi reading. I caught on to his teachings and am seeing its results. Coming to the Siddha path we take on the role of a priest, guru, messenger, agent, middleman etc. Now its a wild adventure, an exploration without boundaries. If we had to conform to rigid rules and fear in temples worship, the Siddhas instill love. The saints went back to the temples not as devotees no more but as gurus and masters bringing people to the awareness of the self and the soul. Reading the songs of the Nayanmars and Ramalinga Adigal will suffice to show us the wealth that is in each of us. Instead, we are seeking it outside. It needs a guru to bring us to our senses to show us that the divine resides within too. Then the guru like Tavayogi steps aside and rejoices in watching his student take baby steps towards the divine, cheering us on at times and apprehending us at other times. At times holding on to our hands and leading us for a distance and then leaving our hands to bring us to stand on our own feet and venture further. The moment we fall he is there to hold us, pick us up, give us a pat and encourage us to continue. If danger is lurking ahead he picks us up and carries us to another safer place to continue the walk. 

If we start to collect praises, honors, etc we shall end up admiring them and showing them off to our visitors. While I set out to do my part for the marga or path by sharing the teachings of Agathiyar and Tavayogi through this blog as a means of showing my gratitude to my masters for their calling, for having me tag along, for giving me the reins to lead others too, for having trust in me to carry out their tasks and giving me a new pep up in life and a purpose, the divine worked in the background in rewarding me. Both Agathiyar and Tavayogi brought fame and respect to me. I was never fond of walking into and staying in the limelight. But as Ramalinga Adigal said by avoiding attention it shall come unto us, it was that I was pushed to the front or called up and honored many a time.  I take it as the grace of the divine showered on this undeserving seeker. I share the compliments and garlands with them. But I should not become complacent. Each day I ask him if there was anything else that I need to do taking up the prayer of Ramalinga Adigal.

"தொழுதுநிற் கின்றனன் செய்பணி எல்லாம், சொல்லுதல் வேண்டும்என் வல்லசற் குருவே"

I shall abide by his wishes. As Bharathi said he only met disappointments when he undertook to accomplish his wishes. But the moment he began God's task he saw through it without fear and favor. So shall we do his work. We are blessed to have the divine walk among us accompanying us in this birth in many forms. Besides coming as gurus and upagurus, they come as family and friends. They even came as a bird to my daughter whenever she calls out to them. The Siddhas enlighten us on our purpose by opening our eyes to all that is happening around us. This shall help us make decisions. When I asked Agathiyar that I want to be born again and again to serve him he asked me in return whether that is what I wanted? He moved close to me and asked me to look around and see for myself the infights and competition. "Do you want to go through this again?" he asked. After leaving our individual wants and desires aside, finally, he told us that he would want us with him his Tirukootam. When Tavayogi chose to dedicate the rest of his life in service to Agathiyar, preaching his faith and path to people, adorning the robe and taking on the life of a mendicant, Agathiyar answered his daughter who was emotionally disturbed over her father's decision to opt-out of family life. He asked her if she only wanted to remember him or have the world remember him. Today even after his demise his name and deeds flourish in these pages of this blog. 

Further reference https://www.vedantu.com/chemistry/difference-between-elements-and-atoms

THANK YOU

We are currently engulfed in darkness. The pandemic has been hovering over our skies for the past year and a half. Although the vaccine is here the numbers are escalating all around the world. We initiated a group prayer while yet staying in our individual homes moments ago. The common prayer was for the pandemic to subside so that we can begin to breathe a bout of fresh air. I believe we shall appreciate nature now as its only when we lose our freedom that we appreciate its value. We pray that our prayers were heard. Thank you for participating from your end.