STEPPING INTO THE SOUL

Seeing the piles of books that Abashiktananda had with him Harilal questions him of what use was all that?

"All your books, all the time lost in learning different languages. Which language do you converse with the atman?"

What a profound observation?  Indeed what language does the Atma or soul speak? We could stretch that thought a bit. What faith or religion is the Atma? What color is it? What gender is it? Is it tall or short? Fat or thin? No one knows. Atma, Samadhi, Kundalini, and many other words have become so commonplace these days that they have lost their significance and charisma. Words have robbed its flavor. These have to be tasted. They cannot be described. All the reading and watching is nowhere close to experiencing them. Only experience can enlighten us. 

As Gnana Bharathi wrote in his book "Tamil Mannin Thanthai" that one has to go through worship of form before coming to worship the formless, உருவ சித்தி அல்லாது அருவ சித்தி இல்லை one has to have the experience of the form before moving to the formless. Form and labels or names have to eventually give way to the formless. Agathiyar who came in the form of a painting and later as a statue, today wants us to move away from rituals and go within. But he had his reasons in bringing us to worship him as an idol first before moving within to witness the soul. His soul that resides in the kingdom of God came to reside within the idol. Hence the reason he opened his eyes at Agasthiyampalli, Papanasam, and AVM later. He told us it was Oli Darisanam. When there is life there is a sparkle in the eyes and vice versa. The eyes are the windows to the soul. He has to be seen first on the outside and only then within. What was seen outside is to be seen within now. What was felt outside has to be felt within. Hence the reason to begin the journey within.

Agathiyar explains that they took forms and names for certain and specific purposes. He is Tavayogi, Supramanian, Siva, Agathiyan, 18 Siddhas, Guru, the world, the Prapanjam. When he is done playing the role he merges back into the source. He says he is also us. His energy is in us too. Once we realize that we are part of the Prapanjam and in it and that the Prapanjam is in us too, we shall be accepted in his fold. 

காரண காரியத்திற்கு நாங்கள் உரு வடிவம் எடுப்போம். ஒரு நாமம் எடுப்போம். நான் தான் தவயோகி, நான் தான் சுப்ரமணியன், நான் தான் சிவன், நான் தான் அகத்தியன், நான் தான் 18 பேர், நான் தான் குரு, நான் தான் அகிலம், நான் தான் பிரபஞ்சம், நான்தான் நீங்கள். என் சக்தி உங்களிடம் உள்ளது. எப்போது அதை உணர்கிறீர்களோ வீடு பேறு கிட்டும். என்னை வந்து அடைவீர்கள்.

Since he lives in us and we in him, he wants us to walk with pride. I recall the walk of Tavayogi at this moment; erect, chest raised, and with arms swinging he takes large strides with so much majesty. 

என் சக்தி உங்களிடம் உள்ளது. நிமிர்ந்து நீங்கள் பெருமையுடன் வாழுங்கள். அகத்தியன் உங்களில் வாழ்கின்றன்.

The truth shall dawn when we go within. When the veil is drawn aside the truth is revealed. When the truth is known the veil is shed. That is the moment of Gnanam. It is not hokus pokus. It is beyond that too. 

நீங்கள் உள் பயணிக்கும் போது எல்லாம் தெரிய வரும். எல்லாம் தெரிய வந்ததால் திரை விலகியதற்கு அர்த்தம் தானே? எல்லாம் தெளிவாகத் தெரியும் சமயம் திரை விலகியதற்கு அர்த்தம். அதுதான் ஞானம். இது மந்திர ஜாலம் அல்ல. அதற்கும் அப்பால் பட்டது.

All the worlds are seen. All creation, its sustenance, its destruction, the veiling, and the showering of grace shall be known. Eventually, it will be seen and known that it is all a play of ours. 

எல்லா லோகமும் தெரிய வரும். ஐந்தொழில் தெரிய வரும். அனைத்து தத்துவங்களும் தெரிய வரும். எல்லாம் எங்களின் விளையாட்டு என்று தெரிய வரும்.

Agathiyar has countless times told us that all the unfolding of events and their repercussions, be it good or bad, is his divine play, and eventually shall bring us to attain Gnanam. In his "Agathiyar Gnanam" he reveals that it was Lord Siva's play in veiling the truth and it is also he who shall bring us out of this illusion or maya, bringing us from darkness to light as one won't know the light if there was no darkness.

தயங்காமற் பிழைப்பதற்கே இந்த ஞானம்
சார்வாகப் பாராட்டும் ஞானம் வேறே;
மயங்குதற்கு ஞானம்பார் முன்னோர் கூடி
மாட்டினார் கதைகாவ்ய புராண மென்றும்
இயலான ரசந்தனிலீப் புகுந்தாற் போலும்
இசைத்திட்டார் சாத்திரங்க ளாறென் றேதான்;
வயலான பயன்பெறவே வியாசர் தாமும்
மாட்டினார் சிவனாருத் தரவினாலே.

Ramalinga Adigal too says the same that it is all Siva's plot and that he saw through it and arrived at Siva's feet eventually.

வேதநெறி ஆகமத்தின் நெறிபவுரா ணங்கள்

விளம்புநெறி இதிகாசம் விதித்தநெறி முழுதும்

ஓதுகின்ற சூதனைத்தும் உளவனைத்தும் காட்டி

உள்ளதனை உள்ளபடி உணரஉரைத் தனையே

ஏதமற உணர்ந்தனன்வீண் போதுகழிப் பதற்கோர்

எள்ளளவும் எண்ணம்இலேன் என்னொடுநீ புணர்ந்தே

தீதறவே அனைத்தும்வல்ல சித்தாடல் புரிவாய்

சித்தசிகா மணியேஎன் திருநடநா யகனே.

Ramalinga Adigal sings that he did not seek what others sought and went after but instead sought after the divine's play or lila, that which results in Gnanam, he reveals. 

பொய்யுடையார் விழைகின்ற புணர்ச்சிவிழைந் தேனோ

பூணவிழைந் தேனோவான் காணவிழைந் தேனோ

மெய்யுடையாய் என்னொடு நீ விளையாட விழைந்தேன்

விளையாட்டென் பதுஞானம் விளையும்விளை யாட்டே

பையுடைப்பாம் பனையரொடும் ஆடுகின்றோய் எனது

பண்பறிந்தே நண்புவைத்த பண்புடையோய் இன்னே

செய்யுடைஎன் னொடுகூடி ஆடஎழுந் தருள்வாய்

சித்தசிகா மணியேஎன் திருநடநா யகனே.

Ramalinga Adigal in asking me to stomach all the inconveniences that I faced as soon as Agathiyar asked me to go within tells me that they were hindrances placed by them. The experience gained will bring about Gnanam. Effort (in going within) is needed to overcome the troubles. It shall exist until we are lost within ourselves.

அவைகளை உமக்கு இன்னல்கள். அவைகளை உமக்கு ஞானம். பொறுத்துக்கொள். தனது முயற்சியால் உமது ஐம் புலன்களை அடக்கிடுவாய். அது நடக்கும் வண்ணம் இவைகள் உமக்குத் தொந்திராவு வழங்கும்.

All this while it was an external journey, one that was worldly. Now it is a journey within. We shall not play Siddhu or tricks. There is no need for external insignias. Only if there is a need for it shall we take it up. This is Sudha Sanmargam. 

இது நாள் வரை நீ கடந்து வந்தது இவ்வுலக வாழ்க்கையின் பயணம். இனி நீ கடக்க போவது உமது உள்பயணம். சித்து வேண்டாம். வெளி சின்னம் வேண்டாம். அவசியம் இருக்குமானால் அணிந்து கொள்ளுங்கள். இது சுத்த சன்மார்க்கம்.

You have passed through Sariyai and Kriyai. It is time to step into Yogam. Gnanam does not come easy. It's a long journey. It does not come to all. The mind has to settle for Gnanam to dawn.

சரியை கிரியை கடந்து வந்து விட்டீர். இனி யோகத்தில் அமருங்கள். மனம் அடங்கும். ஞானம் அவ்வளவு எளிதல்ல. அது நீண்ட பயணம். எல்லோருக்கும் கிட்டாது. மனம் அடங்கினால் ஞானம் சித்திக்கும். 

Agathiyar explains about Gnanam, telling us that Gnanam is not gifted but has to be earned and experienced. When one goes within, as the journey brings upon these subtle experiences, these shall translate into and become Gnanam. As it defers from person to person, as such it cannot possibly be defined. 

நீ என்னிடம் கேட்டது ஞானம். ஞானம் என்பது நான் தருவதல்ல. நீ கற்பது. ஒருவன் தனக்குள் உள்வாங்கி அவனுள் பயணம் துவங்கும் நேரம் அப்பயணம் தரும் பாதிப்பே ஞானம். அவை ஒவ்வொருவருக்கும் மாற்றம் பெரும். ஆகையால் அவை நான் இதுதான் என்று சொல்ல இயலாது.

You served me in Sariyai. I accepted you as my children in Kriyai. I accepted you as my friend in Yogam. In Gnanam we shall merge together.

சரியையில் எனக்குச் சேவை செய்தீர். கிரியையில் எனது குழந்தைகளாய் ஏற்றேன். யோகத்தில் என் நண்பனாய் ஏற்றேன். ஞானத்தில் நான் நீயாக நீங்கள் நானாகச் சேர்வோம். 

And how do we go within? By using the breath. By using that which is closest to us. That runs through us and in us and unites us with the external. Breath is the only thing that links both the external and internal now. Using the breath as a tool we raise the heat, fan the fire, become engulfed in its flames, and bring its counter partner the effulgence of God within and in us. Ramalinga Adigal came to further enlighten us. Ramalinga Adigal comes to asks us to kindle the flame within to burn with such intensity that it shall draw aside the veil or curtain that stands between us and Erai. He went on to inform us that Agathiyar shall come within as the Jhothi to draw it aside. Ramalinga Adigal has on a couple of instances asked that we continue to hold on to the Holy Feet of "Appan Agathiyan" as he addresses Agathiyar. Agathiyar shall set aside the veil that hides Arutperunjhoti from us, he promises. Since we came to Agathiyar and his path, he will be the guiding light, he says. He asks that we continue on his path. Agathiyar shall lead us to Arutperunjhoti. 

என் பெருமானே என்னுள் வந்து அருளிய ஜோதி அது....என் பெருமான் அருளிய ஜோதி அது....திரை எனும் திரை எனும் என் பெருமான் காட்டிய திரை அது....என் அருள் அப்பன் அருள் ஜோதி அது...சீர்ஜோதி அது பெருஞ் ஜோதி அது... ஏறும் பெரும் ஜோதி அது. என்னுள் அது ஏறும்போது திரை அது விலகியது...என்னுள் அது ஏறும் நிலையில் ஜோதி அது ஜோதி அது...திரை எனும் திரை அது அருட்பெருஞ்ஜோதி அது...

திரை விலக உங்களில் இருக்கும் ஜோதி அதனைச் சுடர்விட செய்யுங்கள். என் அப்பன் அகத்தியன் உங்களுக்குள் வந்து அத்திரையை விலக்கிவிடுவார். அதுவே இப்பாடலின் பொருள். என் அப்பன் அகத்தியன் உங்களுக்குள் இருந்து வழி நடத்தி வருகிறார். அவன் வழியிலே நடந்து வாருங்கள். அத்திரை விலக்குவதற்க்கு அவன் அருள் புரிவான். அருட்ஜோதி உங்களை ஆசீர்வதித்தது. அருட்பெருஞ்சோதி ஆண்டவர் உங்களை ஆசீர்வதித்தார். செல்லும் வழி சரி. அகத்தியன் அருட்ஜோதியை நோக்கி அழைத்துச் செல்வான்.

Ramalinga Adigal reminds us of Tirumular's song. 

மனத்து விளக்கினை மாண்பட ஏற்றிச்
சினத்து விளக்கினை செல்ல எருக்கி
அனைத்து விளக்குந் திரியொக்க தூண்ட
மனத்து விளக்கது மாயா விளக்கே

Agathiyar remains a guiding light to us, then, now, and forever. Tavayogi who achieved the state too is trying his level best to see that we achieve these states says Dhanvantri. S.Janarthan in his "Dhyana Yogam", published by Aruligu Amman Pathipagam, Chennai gives a gist of this song, "Lighting the Light on the topmost platform of Agnai, and subsequently kindling the other lights to burn with a similar intensity." 

மேல் மாடமென்ற ஆக்ஞா ஸ்தானத்தில் ஒளி ஏற்றி, பிறகு கீழ் நிலையில் உள்ள மற்ற விளக்குகளும் அணைந்து போகாதபடி எல்லாவற்றிலும் திரியை ஒருசேர தூண்டிவைத்தல்.   

So we are asked to embark on this journey. We have arrived at the right place and time by the grace of the guru, where our soul having seen its desires fulfilled, through having the experiences that it had sought to live out, slowly realizes that all this is false and impermanent. So too did they shift us away from rituals telling us to take it up only when necessary. It begins its search to know that which is one and remains forever. At that moment Siva comes as the guru to draw the curtain and show us our true self. Siva who veiled all that he created, expects us to know and experience the false before coming to know and experience the truth. When the veil is then drawn aside, he shows himself, and the truth dawns. Agathiyar has asked us to "Know thy self first, then you shall come to know me." This is what the Siddhas are currently doing. They have come to redeem us. Bringing all of us to burn with such intensity that the veil that hides Arutperunjhoti burns and dissolves. Arutperunjhoti Andavar comes down to reclaim us into his loving arms. When many voiced out their concern and fear that the Siddhas would break up families they fail to understand that they only break up our hold on all things. Hence it seems we are moving away from the family. In reality, we stand aloft but in it. 

Finally, Agathiyar asked those gathered to follow the blog for he shall speak about the soul next. I too am eager to learn about the soul. Let us wait for Agathiyar to furnish us with the details and reveal further secrets. 

இனி இவன் மூலம் உங்கள் மொழியில் பேசுவேன். இவன் எழுதுக்களை படியுங்கள். அவை என் கருத்து. இனி ஆத்மவை பற்றி நிறைய சொல்வேன்.

MORE STORIES

My daughter shared the following video that she saw. She is a student doing Mass Communication at a local university. Hence her reason to be drawn into writing and movies. These were her passion and she got to do the course by Agathiyar's grace. For her thesis, she took up director Manirathnam's three movies as her subject of review. It touched on "Feminism in Indian Cinema." Just as Zahra says in the video my story might be repetitive, told, and retold again but each time I see the same episodes but in a different context and perspective, with a different approach and understanding. Please bear with me.

AR Rahman makes musicians out of children and youths. I too had always encouraged those around me to write. When someone shares a beautiful story I immediately tell them to write it out or to document it if it's their experience for our memory shall fail us one day. The reason I can recall so many memories and precise dates of these events is because I have documented or at least noted them somewhere. Tavayogi in our travels together asked me what I was doing as I took notes after leaving each place as we drove on to another destination. I told him I was taking notes of our travels. He seemed pleased. Many have taken up the call and regularly share their thoughts with me. I have shared some of their thoughts on this blog over time. Mahindren a regular reader of this blog wrote in after reading the last post.

Thanks for another wonderful piece of art Anna. When I came to siddha path I was with Zero knowledge and you, your blog & Thavayogi appa, Agathiyar appa & AVM members help me to develop my knowledge. At 1st I wasn’t here to see God because I have strong communication with them before my arrival but later that was changed and I asked Agathiyar Appa in Jeeva Naadi at Kallar (2014) about my wishes to see Kaaliamma once in my lifetime and he replied that I would see her with my continuous meditation. After 7 years of travel everything has been changed, now I’m in a state where see everything as a miracle of Agathiyar Appa, Yes, I haven’t come into the state where seeing every object as him but I’m very much happy to see my inner transformation. After Agathiyar Appa & Thavayogi Appa words of “Varuvaanga Magane, Athuthan Venuma” & “Ingu Nadapavai Paarthaiya, Athuthan Venuma”. Both of these words stopped me from asking anything from them. And the best part is HE started to hold my hands and bring myself within HIM, once we realized we really in a state where we shouldn’t ask anything from HIM and whatever happened, happening & happens are very much perfect and nothing for us to go rearrange it.

Ramana Maharishi brings H.W.L Poonja to his fold and enlightened him that all the answers for his search were within him only and he just help to trigger it. That’s how, Thavayogi Appa did it. He showed us Agathiyar as an answer to all our queries and lately HE answering to all those by giving us the practice on it. What I believe is “Hands on” is the best experience ever and we will value the practice we’re doing. Similar to that Agathiyar Appa also giving task to us which involve us directly and gain experience and later that becomes wisdom.

One area that lacks support to pursue further one's goal is the spiritual sector. Many gurus, masters, and spiritual and religious heads rest on their laurels and begin to disperse advice. People flock to see them and get their blessings and return home. Some stay back to have their questions cleared. Others come regularly and take up some form of service in his order or movement. Some might give up their lifestyle and stay on permanently serving the guru. Most gurus too settle to have others serve them. Do they show them, God? Or better still do they make them God? The least they could do is to make them another guru, equivalent, and at par with them. Sadly they remain as devotees and followers forever. When the master leaves his mortal frame, they hop on to the next bandwagon that comes their way. This scenario is reflected in politics too. Rarely do we come across gurus in the shades of Agathiyar, Ramana Maharishi, Ramakrishna Paramahansa, Supramania Swami or Tavayogi. 

In one of his talks during the annual fest for Agathiyar Tavayogi too says the same as Agathiyar, Ramana, and Ramakrishna. Tavayogi brought this message wonderfully across to us during this speech. "What we say is that you should not hold to that which shall perish with time. Hold on to that which is in existence forever. "நாங்கள் என்ன சொல்றோம். நீ நிலை இல்லாதது பிடிக்காதே. நீ கடவுளைப் பிடி நீ கடவுள் ஆயிடுவாய்." He showed us to hold on to the energy that he gives the form and the name Agathiyar rather than have us hold on to him. That was the greatest gift one could receive from a guru. 

So did both Ramana Maharishi and Ramakrishna Paramahansa tell Harilal and Narendra respectively when both stood before their masters asking them if they could show God. "Better still I shall make you God" they replied. They both saw God and became God and remained in our midst as gurus. Harilal became the famed master Poonja and Narendra became Swami Vivekananda.

Tavayogi too took us in but never expected us to serve him. He asked that we serve only Agathiyar. When during our long walks journeying the interiors of India, walking through jungles, and staying at caves, I was prompted to do my part to serve him as a disciple or at least return the favor for taking me on these long journeys foregoing even his age and his health in volunteering to accompany me. I asked if I could massage his legs after these long walks. He did not allow me. Taking our bath in the stream that flowed through Kallar I asked if I could wash his used cloths. He did not allow me. Again bathing at Agasthiyar falls in Kuttralam, I asked him if I could wash his soiled clothes in the river. He did not allow me. He had never asked us for money or food. But instead, he only knew to give. He kept giving us. 

As if to tell me that all these observations of mine were right, Agathiyar whispered in my ear, உன்னை சுற்றி நடப்பதை எல்லாம் பார்க்கிறாய் அல்லவா?" "You are watching all that is going around you, right?" when I asked to take more births and return to serve him. I knew then that should not be our இலக்கு or goal. Indeed later he came to tell us that to join them and be with them has to be the goal of each devotee and follower of his. "வாழையடி வாழை என வந்த திருக் கூட்ட மரபினில் சேரவேண்டும்" For that to take place we all have to become a Siddha like them too. 

மனிதனுக்கு இருக்க கூடிய ஆற்றல் காட்டிலும் மற்றொரு பேராற்றல், சக்தி இல்லை. மனிதனால் எதைவேனாலும் சாதிக்க முடியும். மனதை ஒரு முகம் படுத்துகின்ற போது நமக்குப் பேராற்றல் பிறக்கிறது. மனம் அந்த இடத்திலே குவிகின்ற பொது குவிகின்ற ஆற்றல்மூலம் நமக்குப் புரிகின்ற தன்மை கிடைக்கிறது. ஆக மனதை குவிய வைத்தால் தான் புரியும். குவிய வைக்கும் தன்மையை நீ வளர்த்த வளர்த்த பஞ்சபூதங்கள் உன்னோடு ஒத்துழைக்கும். நீ நினைச்சா  எது வேணாலும் சாதிக்கலாம். நீ பணக்காரனாகும் நினைச்சா பணக்காரன் ஆகலாம். கடவுள் ஆகனும்னு நினைச்சா கடவுள் ஆகலாம். மனதினில் எந்த எண்ணஅலைகள் தாக்குகிறதோ அது தாக்க தாக்க அதுவாக மாருகிறான் மனிதன். ஆக நாங்க என்ன சொல்லுறோம். நீ பணக்காரன் ஆகு வேண்டாம் என்று சொல்லல. நீ வக்கீல் ஆகு வேண்டாம் என்று சொல்லல. நீ இன்ஜினியர் ஆகு,  நீ டாக்டர் ஆகு. இத்தனைக்கும் இடையில் உன் ஆத்மாவுக்கு நீ கடவுள் ஆகனும் என்ற எண்ணத்தை நீ திணித்துக்கடா. அதைத் திணிக்கத் திணிக்கத்.. இப்போ நாம் எதை நாடுறோமோ அது புடிச்சிக்கும். அது பழக்கம்  ஆயிடும். பழக்கம் வழக்கம் ஆயிடும். அப்போ என்ன ஆகுது. நீ எந்தச் செயலைச் செய்கிறாயோ அது உன்னைப் புடிச்சிக்கும். நாங்கள் என்ன சொல்றோம். நீ நிலை இல்லாதது பிடிக்காதே. நீ கடவுளைப் பிடி நீ கடவுள் ஆயிடுவாய். 

These words are echoed in "The Secret" too. 

Prem brings some wonderful insight into our religious practices and spiritual seeking in his video. 

As Prem says "we do not realize what treasures we have been sitting on and ignored for too long", only now have we begun to get a taste of them. 

If first the Siddhas came through the Nadi in the written word supposedly written thousands of years ago for each individual yet to take birth and about events that were to take place in their lives, then moving into Kriyai from Sariyai they came through the Aasi Nool calling us up often to guide us in the rituals further. 

Just as we had oracles in the form of the Nadi, it was interesting to note Michael Wood disclose in the episode "Ancestors" of "The Story of China" on BBC Earth, that the ancient Chinese had a means of communication with their ancestors, making predictions through the Oracle Bones. It was patronized by the kings and royalty of the past seeking direction to move their dynasties in the right direction. Diviners asked for guidance and heavens judgment. The Oracle Bones were bones of dead ox and shells of dead turtles where holes are made with a heated tool. The holes were burnt into one side of the bone or shell and the cracks that appeared on the other side were translated as answers to the questions put forth. The ensuing cracks were read and interpreted.

Oracle bones (Chinese: 甲骨; pinyin: jiǎgǔ) are pieces of ox scapula and turtle plastron, which were used for pyromancy – a form of divination – in ancient China, mainly during the late Shang dynasty. Diviners would submit questions to deities regarding future weather, crop planting, the fortunes of members of the royal family, military endeavors, and other similar topics. These questions were carved onto the bone or shell in oracle bone script using a sharp tool. Intense heat was then applied with a metal rod until the bone or shell cracked due to thermal expansion. The diviner would then interpret the pattern of cracks and write the prognostication upon the piece as well. (Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oracle_bone)

It reminds me of how we used to manipulate Suren who has tons of questions to ask, sending him off to Kallar with questions to ask of Tavayogi, Mataji, and Agathiyar in the Jeeva Nadi. He would return with answers. That is how we came to know many secrets of the Siddhas too.

If we were accustomed to the belief that was instilled in us by our parents that God resided in the statues he showed that it was true by opening his eyes in them. The most compassionate father had shown us his manifestation in his granite statues at Agasthiyampalli and Papanasam earlier in 2002. At Agasthiyampalli his left eye was open as if engraved in stone, while his right eye was closed. Which sculptor in his right mind would have a statue of Agathiyar engrave in stone with an eye closed? As if to clear my doubt if it was true, he opened both his eyes on our next stop at Papanasam temple. This time the eyes were real akin to humans but superimposed or replaced the engraved eyes in stone. He confirmed later in a Nadi reading that he saw us and we saw him in return. Then to show others in my homeland too he opened both his eyes in his bronze statue at AVM.

At the peak of Kriyai they came as energies through the Homam and Yagam and through their statues and through individuals momentarily giving directives. In letting in on his secret Agathiyar explains to us how his soul and spirit comes within someone while the other soul resides momentarily in his statue. He explained beforehand in the Nadi the signs of his arrival and the science behind his manifestation. ஓர் பக்தனின் ஆன்ம எந்தநின் ரூபத்திற்குள் இருக்கும். உரைக்க வரும் ஓர் நாளும் அவன் உள்ளே உலாவி வருவேன் அகத்தியன் தானே. This is a far cry from those souls we understand that take possession of others wreaking havoc and causing harm to their host. For the few who gathered to celebrate his annual Jayanthi and Guru Puja besides welcoming his Murthy in our home, that day in 2010, we saw for the very first time a Siddha walk the earth. It was a transition of sorts for us too. Agathiyar who was buried in the many sacred texts and who came to many veterans on the path but were reluctant to share information about him, manifested to our eyes now coming within another.

After his arrival in the form of the bronze statue, and in a devotee during his Vizha, Agathiyar came whenever the need arised. When Tavayogi was visiting Malaysia we passed the word around. A man who stayed in our neighborhood turned up at our home too. But he kept to himself opting to stay and observe the puja from outside. When everyone had left, he moved in but still sat pretty quiet. He seemed very mysterious. While Tavayogi took a short afternoon nap, only then did he conversed with me at length. As I had to send Tavayogi back to the Peedham that hosted his stay in Malaysia, I had to ask him to leave abruptly. After that, he frequented our home just to talk. Soon he opened up the can of worms. His story was a shocker to me. The man had patronized a guru abroad, seeking spiritual knowledge, in his twenties. Having stayed in his ashram and served the guru and fellow seekers, his stay became sour over time. Having made an escape from the ashram, he returned from abroad, and continued his search and sought other gurus locally. He was obliged to serve someone here. Meanwhile, he went looking for a visiting guru and found him in a park. The guru placed his hand on his belly button and initiated him at the public grounds. His body acted strangely after that. 

Then he opened up about his wife. The mistake I and my wife did was to listen to him. We learned later that we should have listened to both sides of the story. As he came over often, and sometimes used to stay till late night, I was being inconvenienced as I had to leave for work early the next day and my children leave for school. But yet we gave an ear to him. Along the way I passed him a CD of the mantra Arutperunjothi to pacify him. But his wife called me up and asked "What did you pass on to him that has made him behave like a lunatic", I and my wife rushed to his house. He was pacing his home and talking gibberish. His wife filled us in. He would listen on end to the CD and leave all the doors and windows ajar. He would stare into space and look at the moon for hours on end. We were worried sick. I called them over to my house and meantime checked with a colleague who had some experience in handling such cases. I was in luck as he was having his day off the next day. I asked the couple to come over. She had a different story to tell. She filled in the bits of his story that he chose to hide from us. She pointed out an injustice the man did to her. Immediately they came and took him to task. But the most compassionate father although reprimanding him, shortly after he treated and healed him. I literally saw a mist of dark substances leave his body through his mouth. It scared the hell of me. That day we came to know the ugly side of some gurus. I thought all gurus were good to the core. It was a shocker to me when she revealed that his former guru had blocked his chakras. Even though she appealed, wept, and cried to him to release him, he chose not to do it. Agathiyar released the blockages. Today the couple are happy. He is going back to work and has become responsible too. That was the second instance Agathiyar came through another.

When a young devotee who frequented our home, complained of spikes of pain and discomfort and something running all around his inside, I told him to voice it out to his guru. But he replied that his guru too had gone cuckoo and was roaming the streets aimlessly. He sought relief from many other gurus and the Nadi, even going abroad. But all to no avail. When he had given up altogether on everyone including the Siddhas too, I called him over to my home as a last resort to hear from Agathiyar. But sadly like many, he was keener in knowing who came rather than taking the message delivered. But the divine did not desert him. He is doing well.

If Agathiyar brought the lesser Gods and the whole pantheon of Hindu Gods and the Siddhas, Rishis and munis too, teaching us not to differentiate between them, he showed us that they could come simultaneously through a person and the Nadi too. Then there were times when he intercepted our telephone and Skype conversations to deliver his messages. Using current technology to their advantage, they bridged the gap between the new and the old mediums of communication that they had in their hands to educate us and bring us awareness.

Going within with the aid of Yoga, they came to stay longer now dispersing Gnanam or wisdom. Hence we saw the transition take place from an individual's home taking on the name Agathiyar Vanam with the coming of Agathiyar and the gurus, and slowly with the rituals and puja taking place it became Agathiyar Tapovanam and as the Siddhas came to settle in for good it became Gnanakottam. I think we should take pride at least for this one instance for the recognition given to us. But they made sure that these do not inflate our ego and have us attached to the form and the name. They broke it up just as the Buddhist monks painfully take time to create the Mandalas and destroy them eventually. What remains is the memories that we cherish.

MOVING INTO THE NEXT PHASE 2

Leaving behind all that he learned and read, Harilal confronts Abashiktananda, a catholic priest living in a cave in India. Seeing the piles of books that Abashiktananda had with him Harilal questions him of what use was all that?

"All your books, all the time lost in learning different languages. Which language do you converse with the atman?"

He continued, "I also was mad about reading once. Now I read nothing. I don't meditate anymore either. It is the same with japa. At one time I quite naturally made use of all these and with great fervor." Although he shot down all these, he concedes that "Of course reading is not entirely rejected. It is better to read than to daydream or gossip."

Harilal went on explaining.

Of course I used them with my children, and still do on occasion but only for their sake because at their age they need such things. It is rather like the way I join in their games, after all is it not all just play, the lila of the atman, the self?

Harilal says further that "A life of prayers, devotions, and even asceticism all no doubt very satisfying to the little ego is in fact utterly useless." How true. All our actions inflate our ego. I could relate to Harilal's question to Abashiktananda too, "Has the sun set merely because I have closed the shutters?" A temple priest began to advise us to serve the free food we had packed from our individual homes to be distributed to the devotees, only after the curtain is drawn open and the sandhya nitya puja or daily evening puja is done for he tells me only then shall the deity see our contribution towards society.

Abashiktananda was rather taken aback by Harilal's words. He remembered immediately Prof. TMP Mahadevan who was a faithful disciple of Ramana too and his approach. "He had remained completely faithful to his ceremonial duties, often visited temples and offered in them the customary pujas. In his view, one should not give up these outward rites until one has ceased to be aware of duality. As the time of the crossing over approached when worship and prayer become somewhat artificial, and even unnatural then - with the guru's approval of course - one might abstain."

Here is a lesson and learning for us from Harilal too. We now understand why AVM was dissolved. Harilal in speaking about Advaita says to Abashiktananda, "As soon as Advaita is presented as a religion it ceases to be Advaita. The truth has no church. I heard Agathiyar echo these words too, "உண்மையை அறிந்த பின்னர் ஆலயம் எதுர்க்காடா?" AVM too was a tool and a means to arrive at where we stand today. We were told by Agathiyar to wind up and only to pick up the tool when there was a necessity. Then Lord Shiva came to ask us to pick up the tools again during these trying times of the pandemic. It reminds me of Agathiyar telling me that the Siddhas were all him. But they take the names and forms when the need arises. 

Harilal continued, "The truth has no need of anyone to help for its propagation. The truth shines with its own light. He who claims to possess the truth, or says that he has received it or that he can hand it on is either stupid or a charlatan."

Harilal then tells Abashiktananda what he needs to do having asked to drop everything. "There is only one thing you need and that is to break the last bonds that are holding you back. You are quite ready for it. Leave off your prayers, your worship, your contemplation of this or that. Realize that you are Tat Tvam Asi - you are that." 

We understand from Harilal that rather than calling it an awakening it should be called an unveiling, for he asked Abashiktananda "How could one awaken that which does not sleep and has never fallen asleep?" reminding us that we exist in our sleep too although we are not aware. We do not have any memory of our first moment of this existence. Neither do we have that of our very first existence. We just fit into the shoes at each birth. It is as if we are trying out the shoes all laid out before us. When I pick a particular one, I go for a walk in it till it wears and tears. Then I fit into another and take another long walk this time. As it wears away I try on another but might only walk a short distance in it. And so the chain goes on and on. During each walk, we have a story to tell. We are then a book and this life is but a page from it. It is akin to the stack of Nadi leaves where we are asked to find the one that most accurately describes this current life. Hence my question as to how there exist someone like me in name, even the parent's name matches, the number of siblings tally, my education and career match, even my number of children tallies but my wife's name differs, is answered. That which did not tally might be another birth in the future or one from the past. It is another shoe to be worn later or one that has worn out.

In reading about their meeting and the conversation that pursued, I recount that of mine with Supramania Swami. I had gone to see him for my daughter's horoscope. He was recommended by Deva who drove me around in India. Since Supramania Swami who was his brother-in-law and was into astrology and since we were already in Tiruvannamalai and I had the rest of the day to myself before we make our way to Chennai to catch my flight back to Malaysia the next day, Deva brought me to him. Just as I left my home for India my wife had asked me to seek an astrologer to chart our daughter's horoscope. Then the divine had a hand in all this too. Agathiyar switched Raji the driver I was assigned to with Deva bringing Raji down with a stomach ache the day I arrived in India.

When I alighted from the ambassador Supramania Swami was on hand to usher us as if he had sensed our arrival. But he spoke nothing. Instead he walked away into his house and stood before his altar. He lighted the camphor and passed the flame to me to pay my homage to it. He walked back to the courtyard calling out to his son, asking him to spread his deerskin. His son brought it and placed it on the floor. He asked for all the past years almanacs. Immediately he went into a meditative pose quite similar to what Abashiktananda describes of Harilal. Swami spoke for close to five hours, the whole duration of my stay at his place. I just sat shedding tears of joy. He seemed to know everything. He even knew the contents of my Nadi reading that I had never shared with anyone. He continued to speak about me instead of charting my daughter's horoscope. I was amazed at the turn of events beginning with Agathiyar telling me that I shall meet my guru in the Nadi in 2002 to my meeting my guru in Tiruvannamalai the following year in 2003. Although Agathiyar did not elaborate further about the guru, to have this meeting with my guru materialize and become a reality, my nephew came by with a message from his Paramaguru for me, the Vasudeva mantra, and a painting of Lord Dakshinamurthy much earlier in 2001. Soon I was to learn that the source of this message was from Agathiyar too.

In asking Abashiktananda to tell him about his spiritual experiences, as Abashiktananda made no reply, they both sat opposite each other in silence and remained like that for a long time. When they both opened their eyes, Abashiktananda sensed that Harilal was sent there expressly to give him the news. Harilal tells Abashiktananda "Enter into the guha, the cave of your heart, and there realize that you are", echoing the words of Lord Muruga, Agathiyar, and Ramalinga Adigal. When Harilal ask Abashiktananda to enter the cave of his heart, Abashiktananda replies,

I indeed try to remain there as much as I can. And to be living in a cave on this mountain is for me a most valuable help in that attempt. In this cave where where I am living and still more in the further cave where there is no light at all, where I withdraw for meditation I have been given an indescribable peace and joy.

Harilal then replies "Your rock cave is a dead thing. It has nothing to do with the joy which you say that you feel when you withdraw into it. Rather it is you, in your own depths, who are the supreme peace and joy. It is you who fill your cave with that peace and joy which you yourself essentially are in the cave of your heart. The bliss Ananda of which you experience a kind of echo, are you really so simple-minded as to think that it is this rock that bestows it so generously upon you? You neither give nor receive anything whatever least of all this peace (Shanti) and this joy (Ananda). You are Ananda, and this Ananda cannot even be called Ananda any longer for it cannot be seen or conceived or named it simply is."

He has answered my current dilemma with all the noise around and my yearning for some quietness and silence so that I could begin to meditate.

Just as I left Supramania Swami the sun was setting on his village of Nachanandhal, then too the sun began to set as Abashiktananda led Harilal to the path that led down from the mountain. Just as I only came to know about Supramania Swami's life story on my next visit to India in 2005, Abashiktananda too came to know Harilal's story on their next meeting the following year.

Today as I brought to her attention that I found answers from the book that she had picked up in 2018, my daughter told me the reason why she picked up the book for me. As she flipped through its pages her eyes caught the name Ramana Maharishi. She thought I might want to read it. As she moved over to point to me that particular page, what do you know I was already on that page - page 155. All the above passages are from that page too.

Just as I put in the final touches on this post, my friend and reader from Kerala messaged me after reading the previous post. Her last line is food for thought.

Simply overwhelmed..  now I  know the story of hwl poonja more accurately..🙏🏻. Miracles are happening all around us subtley isnt. I feel so. Whomever I befriended in my early years to those who come in contact with me at present _ many of them _ are somehow turning spiritual.  Coming into the fold..  we are flowing along a divine river.. some of us are interested in doing pujas etc. Some in theerthayatras. Some are thinking , remembering the father. Truth. Isnt it a miracle..🙏🏻🙏🏻 sometimes I cant believe my luck. Really. Coz, if I didn't have the grace of agathiyar how could I have realised the possibility of god?..🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 so much love we are receiving

These days I'm trying to follow what agathiyar instructed me to do ..I pray to him to help me doing the right thing. ...at present jiddu krishnamurthys words of wisdom helps me a lot. 🙏🏻 the words which I once found dry and nihilistic now make me emotional !   his  intensity of desire for others to seek and  experience what he experienced makes me tearful. Hmm.. I think appa want me to know about the process of thinking and all that.  Then maybe he'll  enable me  to observe how we think.  But whatever and however he help me to better myself in the path,  I dont think my wish to see him in flesh will recede 😓😓. Reading your article I was thinking about it. I want to see krishna ( tearfully I read harilals krishna darsan), rama ohh, hanuman  and above all appa. agathiyar ..  what is the use of knowing the truth or self realisation without a chance to see them?  😓

MOVING INTO THE NEXT PHASE 1

A friend from Kerala shared the story "How I came to the Maharshi" By H.W.L.Poonja from Saranagathi eNewsletter, June 2010, originally published in  "The  Mountain  Path", July  1965.

I have  been  a visionary from childhood. When  I  was only five years old I already had visions of Sri Krishna. At first I thought every one could see them. I once  said to  my mother: “Look! He's standing there!” but she explained to me that only I saw him."

Surprisingly my second granddaughter who is one year of age, would look up and bring her palms together and say "AUM". It did not surprise us when she did that at their altar where my daughter had taught her daughters to do so. But this happened frequently elsewhere too. We used to ask what did she see? This reminds me of how my family had observed that I would turn back to look at my childhood home as I left home for school, raising my hands high in the air in salutation as to the Kopurams or towers at temples. I too can remember what I did but I have no answer as to why I did that. 

Hari Wench Lal Poonja or popularly known as H.W.L.Poonja continues,

When  I grew up I joined  the army. However my  desire for God-experience grew  so  strong that after some years I resigned and decided to  devote my life to sadhana. I wanted to  become a sannyasin  but  could  not  because I had a  wife and  children  to look after. I started visiting Swamis and asked each one point blank: “Have  you seen  God and  can  you show me God?” I would allow  no  hedging.  If they began to talk  around it I said: “Please give me a straight yes or no.” I found no one who could answer ‘yes’ and returned to my  home in the Punjab feeling very  depressed.

One day  my  wife was just  serving my midday meal when a sadhu came and  stood in the  doorway. I invited him in and told her  to  serve him food  too  and then asked him whether he  could direct  me to a Swami who  could show me God.  He  told  me  that  I  could  find  what  I  was looking for from Ramana Maharshi of Tiruvannamalai. It was the first time that I had heard of  the  Maharshi or of Tiruvannamalai, so I wrote down  both  names. But how was I to  get  there? It was  right down in the South, and  my funds were almost exhausted. However, the next day I saw an advertisement in the paper for an ex-army  man to run a canteen in Madras. I  applied and  was at once given the  post  and my fare paid.

When  I got  to Madras I said that I must first pay a visit to  Tiruvannamalai  before taking up my duties. Arriving  there,  I  dumped  my  bedding  in the Ashram dormitory and went into  the meditation  hall; and who should I see  there on the  couch but the sadhu who had visited  me at my  home in the Punjab! I decided that he was a  fraud. He  had been travelling about India boosting  himself and  had then  taken a train back and arrived before me. So I got up and left the hall. I  got my bedding and  was just putting it back  on  the  horse-cart that had brought me from the station when  a devotee  asked  me  why I  was leaving so soon. I  told him  and  he said: “It must  be a mistake, because the  Maharshi  has never left this place since  he first came nearly fifty  years ago.  Either it was someone  else you saw  or  he  appeared to  you by supernatural power.”  So I  was  back to  the  hall.

As soon as  I had an  opportunity to see Bhagavan alone  I asked him my  usual question. I  added: “It's a bargain. I am  willing  to pay any  price,  even my  life, but your part of  the bargain is to  enable me to  see God.” At first he  sat silent, but I said “That's no  good; I don't  understand silence. Please give me a  straight answer.”  Then he said: “I can enable you rather to be God than to see God.”  That puzzled me. I had very little understanding then.   

Swami Vivekananda too is said to have confronted Ramakrishna Paramahansa with this question. He wrote, "When I was a boy here, in this city of Calcutta, I used to go from place to place in search of religion, and everywhere I asked the lecturer after hearing very big lectures: "Have you seen God?" The man was taken aback at the idea of seeing God; and the only man, who told me: "I have", was Ramakrishna Paramahansa, and not only so, but he said: "I will put you in the way of seeing Him too". 

In answer to Narendra's (Swami Vivekananda) question, "Sir, have you seen God?" the Master (Ramakrishna Paramahansa) said: "Yes, I have seen God. I have seen Him more tangibly than I see you. I have talked to Him more intimately than I am talking to you." Narendra was amazed. These words he could not doubt. This was the first time he had ever heard a man saying that he had seen God. During his second visit, about a month later, suddenly, at the touch of the Master, Narendra felt overwhelmed and saw the walls of the room and everything around him whirling and vanishing. He saw his own ego and the whole universe almost swallowed in a nameless void. With a laugh the Master easily restored him. Narendra thought he might have been hypnotized, but he could not understand how a monomaniac could cast a spell over the mind of a strong person like himself. But during his third visit, Narendra fared no better. This time, at the Master's touch, he lost consciousness entirely. 

Narendra, because of his Brahmo upbringing, considered it wholly blasphemous to look on man as one with his Creator. One day at the temple garden he laughingly said to a friend: "How silly! This jug is God! This cup is God! Whatever we see is God! And we too are God! Nothing could be more absurd." Sri Ramakrishna came out of his room and gently touched him. Spellbound, he immediately perceived that everything in the world was indeed God. A new universe opened around him. Returning home in a dazed state, he found there too that the food, the plate, the eater himself, the people around him, were all God. When he walked in the street, he saw that the cabs, the horses, the streams of people, the buildings, were all Brahman. It took him a number of days to recover his normal self. He had a foretaste of the great experiences yet to come and realized that the words of the Vedanta were true. (Source: The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna, Introduction by Swami Nikhilananda)

Sri Ramakrishna Paramahansa gave the young Narendra @ Swami Vivekananda the experience of God rather than speak about him or describe him.

We go back to H.W.L.Poonja's experiences.

A few days later I went for a walk in the rough country at the foot of the north slope of Arunachala and fell into a state of ecstasy during which I again had a vision of Sri Krishna. When I got back I told Bhagavan. He asked me: “Can you see Krishna now?”  I said, “No; only when I have a vision.”  So he said: “What is the use of a God who comes and goes? If he is a real God he should be with you always.”  That shocked me. Again I almost lost faith in him, but some of the devotees explained to me.

Before I left for Madras I asked Bhagavan for a mantra but he did not give me one. I asked him for permission to take sannyas, but he refused.  However, shortly after my return to Madras he appeared to me in a dream and gave me a mantra. Soon after this I had a vision of God in human form. This was followed by a great change in me. I lost interest in all the ritual and incantations and breathing exercises that I had been doing up to then. For instance, I used to get up at three o'clock in the morning to attend to my statue of Sri Krishna. All such things ceased to interest me. I was very worried about this. I thought it meant I had become an atheist.  At the first opportunity I went to Tiruvannamalai. I told Bhagavan about the change that had come over me and how I had lost interest in all the ritual that I had been practising regularly for so many years past.  Bhagavan looked steadily at me for some time and then said something to me in Tamil which I was told, on enquiry, meant “You, that is me, that is Bhagavan.” These words sank into my heart and I experienced the most wonderful feeling of bliss I had ever known.  It was from this time that I began to understand Bhagavan and his teaching. 

I had come across H.W.L.Poonja's story earlier in the book  "Wake Up and Roar - Satsang with HWL Poonja" Volume 1, published by Papaji Satsang Bhavan, Lucknow.  The manner in which I came by this book and what it means to me today rather surprised me and my daughter. My daughter passed me this book as she was leaving for work one day in 2018. The book was waiting to be taken in the section "Take One" of the International School library where she was working temporarily after finishing high school. She had identified three books to her liking, but as she was pretty busy with work could not pick them up earlier. When she dropped by finally only one of the three books was left to take. The other two had been taken up by others. So she picked the book that she had targeted earlier and happened to notice another. She flipped through it and her gaze fell on a name familiar to her that of Ramana Maharishi. She took it thinking I might like it, although she knew I was contemplating dropping all my reading then. The page she stopped at was 155. When she passed the book to me, she pointed it out and asked me to read it too. I cried reading it. This story was posted earlier at https://agathiyarvanam.blogspot.com/2018/04/making-appearances.html. 

It was about one Harilal's experience with the divine. Harilal was sitting on the veranda of his father's home when a sadhu appeared. Harilal invited him to have a seat while a meal was being prepared. Then Harilal told the sadhu about how he had left the army in search of fulfilling his desire to see God. He explained that he was doing all the rituals and prayers needed towards receiving their grace and darshan. He had sought the means and ways to have his desire fulfill from all the mahatmas he had met but it was all in vain as no one could help. Neither could all his spiritual efforts bring him to have Sri Krishna's darshan. Harilal asked the sadhu if he knew of anyone who could reveal the secret of receiving Sri Krishna's darshan. The sadhu replied in affirmation and mentioned that Ramana could fulfill his long-standing yearning and desire. Harilal followed as told. He soon found himself at Sri Ramana's ashram in Tiruvannamalai some days later. He found the Maharshi seated on his couch. He bowed to him and took a seat. After an hour he left the hall and prepared to leave the ashram grounds when someone stopped him from leaving, inquiring the reason for him to make a quick exit for he had just arrived. Harilal explains that he had seen the Bhagavan at his father's home in Punjab near Peshawar just two weeks ago. He went on to explain to him what had transpired earlier between them. Now rather angry, he questioned the need for the sadhu to have him travel some three thousand kilometers from his parent's home only to sit all oblivious to what was happening around him. Harilal questioned if indeed Bhagavan was really able to make him see Sri Krishna, he could have shown Sri Krishna back at his village home. Harilal was sore too that Bhagavan was indifferent to him, not recognizing him. He complained further that Ramana neither wore a tulasi rosary nor did rosary prayer. He hardly murmured the names of Sri Krishna or Radha. The stranger who stopped Harilal was taken aback and replied that Sri Ramana never left the ashram nor the town in all his forty-odd years after arriving from Madurai. The stranger persuaded him to stay. 

I had read of many saints making appearances. The story of Neem Karoli Baba is told of how he took a moment's leave, leaving his chair to go to ease himself while having his beard shaved. The barber had been complaining to him about his son who had run away from home many years back and not heard off. As he was getting old, he found it an ordeal to keep the business running and support the family too. He wished his son would come home. Baba returned shortly and the barber completed shaving his beard. The next day surprisingly the son appeared at their home and tells them that an old man with a face half-shaven had arrived at his workplace some hundreds of miles away and forced him to return home immediately. Neem Karoli Baba had manifested in another place while having a shave back home.

Just as the barber's wish was granted, I had told my wife of the need to postpone my mother's hospital appointment again in lieu of the rising numbers of Covid cases over lunch some moments ago. What do you know? I receive a call from the hospital telling me of their intent to postpone her appointment to January next year. I was speechless and happy that "someone" is listening to our talks. 

Tavayogi too has been said to make his appearance in other places, which he brushes aside with another question as usual, "What is this son, they are saying things. How is this possible?" "என்ன மகனே என்னமோ சொல்லுராங்க. இது எண்ணப்படி நடக்கும்?" His able cook Nadarajah immediately called him to say that he had seen Tavayogi walk up to their Kallar ashram as Nadarajah was coming down the small hillock. On nearing him Tavayogi had vanished into thin air! But Tavayogi was then in Malaysia and I was with him when the call came in. Making our rounds to the temples in India stipulated by Agathiyar and more that Tavayogi brought me to, including caves and samadhis, a peddler of rosaries on the grounds of the famed Breehadeswar temple in Tanjavur stepped up to us as we alighted from our ambassador and remarked asking what Tavayogi was doing there "again" as he had been there the day before! "என்ன சாமி திரும்பவும் வந்திருக்கீங்க? நேத்து தான் உங்களை பார்த்தேன்" We both looked at each other as we never separated and had only arrived there then! 

Coming back to the story of Harilal, this was the first time I read about Ramana manifesting in two places at the same time.

Harilal spent several days at the ashram before leaving for Madras. He made trips back to the ashram fortnightly. One day Ramana materialized again, this time in Harilal's puja room in Madras. Ramana whispered a mantra in his ears asking him to use it. Harilal began to recite the mantra. Wanting to clear his doubt, during his following visit, he asked Ramana if he was the one who appeared in his puja room. The Maharishi replied with "an indistinct hmmm-hmmm." Harilal questioned him if he should go on using the mantra to which Bhagavan replied, "If your heart tells you to." Harilal took to repeating the mantra continuously till a miracle eventually took place. Bhagavan Sri Krishna appeared in front of him just as one does in the present, as a lad of about fifteen, whose beauty no one could possibly describe. Harilal's soul experienced great joy such as he had never, never felt before.  Finally, his desire had come true. On his next visit to Ramana, Harilal prostrated before Bhagavan. He excitedly mentions that he had seen Sri Krishna in the flesh. But Ramana coolly replied, "Oh so Krishna came then?" Harilal answered in affirmation to which Ramana said, "Then he went away?" When Harilal affirms again, Ramana simply answered, "Oh, oh!" without any excitement or reaction to the news. During another moment in prayer, Harilal saw both Sri Rama and Lakshmana. He returned to Bhagawan for an answer, having been disturbed by the vision of Rama and Lakshmana rather than his idol Krishna and Radha. Ramana simply answered,

"Krishna came to visit you and then went away. Rama has done the same. Why are you concerned with gods who come and go? Don't You see Japa, Mantras, Puja, prayer and rituals are all excellent up to a certain point. But the time comes when all that has to be left aside. You have to take a leap into the beyond... in the beyond you find the real only. When everything has been left behind, Devas along with everything else, can you find the vision which has no beginning and no ending, the vision of being, of the self."

Tavayogi too played it down when I revealed my desire to see Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal. They shall come he replied but "What next?" he asked.

Harilal then saw the vision told of by Ramana. He had desired to see God. God had finally revealed himself not somewhere else but so close to him that from that moment on it was impossible to see him and address him as "thou". The light was now shining in his own deepest self. After hearing Ramana speak, all his desires dropped.

It is until you reach the peak that you need the ropes and the tools. Once you are there you shall have no need for them unless you want to return. Tavayogi took me on a profound journey in 2005 of a new discovery for me and a revisit for him trekking through the jungles and staying in caves. It was all new to me being a city dweller. Miracles were shown. Further initiations too were given. Then Tavayogi came again in 2008 and taught us Yoga. What was an individual's personal home puja soon included family and friends with Agathiyar coming in the form of a bronze statue in 2010. My home was opened up to many more seekers when Agathiyar directed them to witness the Pournami puja that we conducted. Soon the numbers grew. Taking the cue from the couple Sri Krishna and Sri Dewi we took up doing charity in the streets by feeding the homeless. The pace picked up fast as my home became Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia. Then it was time to wind up and go within. We had to evolve further just as Tavayogi had told us that we needed to come out of devotion or Bhakti into Gnanam. We were told to quit the rituals and put the tools down. Agathiyar gave us new tools to travel the remaining journey that was subtle in nature compared with the physical and gross earlier. 

SAVING THE PLANET

In the lyrics to the song "Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story" which is part of the stage musical revolving around the life of Alexander Hamilton, Phillipa Soo who plays his wife Eliza sings the following line, "I try to make sense of your thousands of pages of writings, You really do write like you're running out of time.."

We realized that this is exactly what we went through to. The Siddhas in bringing us together at Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) geared us to conduct rituals that were initiated by Agathiyar and Tavayogi. Soon we brought these rituals to other homes upon their invitation to have Agathiyar step into their homes too, and into select temples that accommodated the Siddha worship. Then Agathiyar asked us to drop everything and close the Whatsapp groups AVM and Amudha Surabhi (AS) that kept us informed of the puja times and the charity programs respectively. He asked us to revisit the yoga practices taught by Tavayogi. Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal came to help us reach out to the Prapanjam. All these we saw as having some sort of urgency to it. We would share this observation among ourselves. True enough. The pandemic stepped in and froze all the outdoor activities including puja at temples and charity. What we were left with to do was home puja and yoga practices on our own. But we are glad that the Siddhas had pushed us hard to learn both as today we are well equipped with both the knowledge and the skills in doing Siddha puja and doing yoga. Both these now have become tools in our hands as Lord Shiva asked us to continue carrying out the Homam or lighting the sacrificial fire and chant the Maha Mrityunjaya mantra and Dhavantri mantra and enhance and build up our breathing capacity through the yoga practices. Both the puja and yogic practices shall help us reach out to the skies and the Prapanjam cleansing it. Only by cleansing it shall the virus disappear added Lord Shiva.

Many activists are going all out to do their part in saving the planet. As Sir David Attenborough says back in the distant past man lived in balance with nature, living off its resources, sadly "We are now totally out of balance with nature."  If "Nature determined our survival" back then, "The tables have turned. We now determine nature's survival." 

This reminds us of how Agathiyar was sent to bring balance to the earth by Lord Shiva back then too. Maybe it is time an Avatar came by to set things right or refresh it, restore the balance, or if all these fail to reset the planet altogether. But we too are mini-avatars of God. Sir David Attenborough, Greta Thunberg, and many others are avatars too in our eyes. We too can contribute in reversing the damage done and in healing the planet. It reminds me of how the lesser deities used to come before the arrival of the guru Gopal Pillai at a temple in Penang that my nephew brought me to back then, just like we have the Prime Ministers officials arrive first before he does. Let us do our part while awaiting and before the advent of the main Avatar. If we have changed the world for the worst let us join hands to change it for the good.

BE IN IT BUT STAY ALOFT

Many have told me that their families had reservations and fear set in when they initially came to the Siddha path. They feared that their son or daughter would become a monk or turavi. If that were the thoughts in the minds of many parents, Tibetan parents in Nepal willingly send a child from each household to become a monk at monasteries like in Chobhar, Boudhanath, and Lumbini. This arrangement is of mutual benefit. While their children stay and learn in these monasteries and are taken care of, the villagers support the monastery in terms of their daily needs. 

The practice has become a refuge for many children from impoverished families from far-flung regions like Humla. The eight children from Humla, all of whose families struggle to earn enough money for the basics of life, are today getting better opportunities for education. While their parents hope to secure their future with monastic education, there is a cost—monastic vows that the children need to follow throughout their lives.

“They probably don’t understand what being a Buddhist nun means, but for their future, this was the best option. They get to study and eat healthily,” said Gagan Prasad Jaisi, elder brother of Heramaya Jaisi, another child nun at the monastery. Jaisi previously worked as a cook at the monastery, where he realised that it could help improve the lives of many children from Humla. For families like his, monasteries like these are places of security as their siblings and children get free education, meals and a safe place to live. (Source: https://tkpo.st/2VhcIfZ)

When I came to the path, many on realizing that I was following the worship to the Siddhas, commented that the Siddhas shall break up families and lead them to become turavis or mendicants. I was not the least concerned with these talks. I continued my worship. Then Agathiyar came in the Nadi and told me that I do not need to undergo an ashram life. On the contrary, I could stay with the family and at the same time fulfill His dreams for me. I only had to take care of my responsibilities and dedicate the rest of my time to his worship and tapas. 

பக்குவங்கள் முறையே ஆசான் வழியே பெற்று விட்டாய். மாசில்லா சித்தர்களைக் குடியில் அழைத்து வாழவைப்பாய். நாங்களும் இருக்கும் குடியும் தன்னில் நாள் நாளும் சித்தர்களின் வாசம் மிகுமே. யோகிகளை இல்லத்திற்கு வரவழைப்போம் நாங்கள். குடும்பத்தில் நாங்கள் எல்லாம் குடி இருக்க ஆசிரம வாழ்வு வேண்டாம் உனக்கு. பொறுப்புகளும் சில செய்ய, யோகம் செய்யப் பகுதி நேரம் செலவழிக்க, இல்லத்திலிருந்து யோகம் என்பேன். கருத்தாகத் தவத்தை நீ பார்ப்பாய். 

Similarly, he told others to focus on their families and their needs while allocating an equal number of hours for him. Recently Lord Murugan in a Nadi reading advised a young devotee whom we met at Kallar Ashram in 2016 the same too. Although he was married with a kid, I could sense his burning desire to take up the path of turavaram or become a mendicant in the conversations we had over the phone subsequent to our meeting in India. But Lord Muruga came in his Nadi and gave him some sound advice that applies for us too.

அகத்தியனை குருவாகக் கண்டு வணங்கி வா. சிறப்பாக இல்லற வாழ்வும் அனுகூலம் கண்டு இரு பிள்ளைக்கு இவன் தந்தை ஆகி சுகமாக இல்லறமும் காண வேண்டும் என்று விதியில் உண்டு. இல்லற நிலை தன்னில் இன்னவன் சீவித்து லாபங்கல் பிள்ளை வரத்தோடு பெருகியும் கண்டும் நலமாக இறை அருளும் குரு அருளும் பெற்று நட்பாக லாபங்கள் உருவாகவும் அகத்தியனே குருநாதனாக கண்டு இருக்கவும் அகதியனுடன் நலமாக லாபங்கள் பல கிட்டும்.

உலகமே ஓர் மாயையும் நலமாக இங்கு நிரந்தரமாக இங்கு இருப்பதில்லை நிச்சயம் நல்லதொரு வீடு சேர்ந்து அனுகூலமாகச் சேர்வதாலே யோகம் என்பதாலே பற்று அற்று இருக்க நிலை இன்னவனுக்கு அப்பப்ப தோன்றினாலும் நலமாகக் கடைகாலம் மட்டும் சிறிது பற்றும் தேவைதான். தாமரை இளையும் தண்ணீரும் போல வாழ்கின்ற நெறியைப் பலர் வகுத்துள்ளனர். அதனாலே மைந்தன் சற்று நலமாகத் துறவு மனப்பான்மையை காணாமல் ஓரளவு இருக்கின்ற நிலை தன்னில் சீவித்தும் நலமாக நல்லதாம் உலகத்தோடு ஓட்ட ஒழுகிக்கொண்டு முறையாக ஆன்மிகத்திலும் முன்னேறிக் கொள்ள இன்னவனுக்கு அனுகூலம் கிட்டும். இறை அருள் தரிசனங்கள் கிட்டும். பொறுமையாக இரு.

These were the complete opposite of what we have heard or read previously. It is interesting to note the story as told by Swami Dharmalingam of Kollimalai, of one who was absorbed in the pleasures of the world and postponed the frequent calls to come to the Siddha path was abruptly awakened from his dream and his sleep. The  Siddha finally decided to end the game and asked him "நில் மரக்கிளையை நீ பிடித்துக் கொண்டிருக்கிறாயா அல்லது அது உன்னைப் பிடித்துக் கொண்டிருக்கிறதா?", if he was holding to the branch or the branch was holding to him as the young man held to the branch of the coconut tree that he had climbed to pick a nut to quench the thirst of the Siddha. Then we have the story of Pattinathar who was reminded of the plain and painful truth through Lord Shiva who took birth as his son leaving an eyeless needle and a note "காதற்ற ஊசியும் வாராது காண் கடைவழிக்கே" to the merchant who was expecting the son to bring in riches after his travels across the seas, telling him that even an eyeless broken needle will not come with us in our last moments. It makes us realized that it all has a place and time. Turavaram too is not for all we understand. If Tavayogi voluntarily took it up at 50 years of age, never did he suggest that we do too. Instead, the very first day we met, he asked that I bring my family into the path too. Later in the evening he received my family and gave initiation to my wife too. Supramania Swami who carried 17 out of his 40 years of tavam in the hills of Tiruvannamalai spent his last days with his family too.

With a year and a half gone by and everyone vaccinated in phases, will we see an end to the rise of the numbers infected? As nobody can safely tell for sure, we turned to the divine. While many promises came our way and to our attention through social media through the various forms as in Nadi readings, Arudam or Deiva vakku, and through spiritual masters and gurus, Lord Shiva who came in our midst through a devotee did not promise anything. He did not mince his words but told us that the virus will be here to stay for yet some time. All he gave was a couple of mantras. The Maha Mrityunjaya Mantra and Dhanvantri Mantra too was not given to magically wipe away the virus but instead was to wipe away our fear and become a shield to us respectively. While many Siddha physicians kept suggesting numerous herbal concoctions and preparations to boost our immune system, Lord Shiva asked us to connect with the Prapanjam and enhance it within through breathing techniques and give it back to it, hence cleansing and healing it in the process. Lord Shiva never gave his word that he would rid or eradicate the menace but chose to give us the strength and boost our immunity to fight the menacing virus. I believe he is telling us that each of us is an avatar of his. It is just that we are ignorant of it. His energy that is inherent in us needs to be amplified. That is the reason for giving us the Mantras and the Yogic exercises. If in the days of the past we rushed to the temples for all our religious needs, he brought us into the Siddha path where we learned these very rituals. We carried out simple and common rituals like housewarming by lighting the Homam and singing the praise of the Siddhas to our satisfaction. Siddha physician and astrologer and a devotee of Agathiyar, Arivan Aiya, besides conducting the larger version of the Homam called Yagam, conducts marriage ceremonies singing the praises of the Siddhas too. These rituals connected us to the Siddhas and brought them into our homes. The fire and smoke from Homam or Yagam cleansed the air around us. With the yoga practices taught by our gurus and other upagurus, we connected with the breath. Using the breath we could reach out to the Prapanjam. With both these tools Lord Shiva wants us to cleanse the Prapanjam and heal her. 

Taking the cue from this I realized that the Siddhas are training me to endure the many inconveniences that were placed in my way just when I was asked to stop all external activities and to go within. I remember Tavayogi's words where he tells me asking me not to pray that God removes the obstacles but to give us the strength to overcome them. I had stood before Agathiyar complaining about my neighbors and the din they make, telling him that I could not fulfill his directive to stay, meditate and sleep in my prayer room that has become his second home. Ramalinga Adigal came later and told me all these obstacles are their doing. Later Lord Shiva too told me that my petition to him reached him too. He understood my predicament and agreed that it was not conducive and the time had come to make a move. As I waited for further instructions, as I did not want to jump ahead, for they had taken possession of my home and it was their home now, I began to realize that one cannot run away from it. How long am I going to run? Where am I going to run to? My place was haven until recently especially after the lockdowns where schools are shut and workplaces closed and people stay home. There is a hub of activities in the otherwise quiet neighborhood with dispatch couriers shuttling up and down and honking as door-to-door deliveries are made. I realized that I had to learn to live with the inconveniences at least till the pandemic is over. 

I believe he has brought the family members to take time from their busy lives and come together to sit in prayer and carry out his dictates. Maybe all the unessential activities that we have devoted much time to all these while have to die down for the planet to live. Watching documentaries brings tears to our eyes as we see the planet destroyed by foolish men. Looking around us we see the foolishness of man too. It hurts to see the planet die a slow death. I guess the Gods are here to save it from our clutches and redeem it. Maybe the Gods have decided to manage it now.

WHAT I CAME TO UNDERSTAND

Mahindren after reading the last post called me and subsequently wrote the following piece.

Siddha Heartbeat இன் முந்தைய பதிவை ஒட்டி மகின்திரன் இந்தப் பதிவினை எழுத்தி உள்ளார்.

நான் உணர்ந்தவை

இந்தப் பதிவு எதைப் பற்றியது என்றால், Siddha Heartbeat இன் முந்தைய பதிவை ஒட்டியதுதான். நம்மில் பலருக்கு இந்த வலைப்பதிவு மிகப்பெரிய வழிகாட்டியாகவும், சித்தர்களின் லீலைகளைப் பற்றியும் அறிமுகம் செய்தவையாகவும் இருக்கும். சித்தர்களின் அறிமுகமே இல்லாத எனக்கு இந்த ஊடகம் மிகவும் உறுதுணையாக இருந்துகொண்டு வருகிறது. நான் கடந்து வந்த பயணங்களை இங்குச் சிலமுறை நான் பதிவு செய்ததுண்டு. அவை அனைத்துமே நான் அகத்தியர் அப்பா சொல்லிய பரிகாரங்களை செய்ததாலும், அவரின் வழிப்பாதையில் நடப்பதினாலும் நடந்த மாற்றங்களே.

இப்பொது இந்த ஊடகத்தின் முந்தைய பதிவைப் படித்ததும், அதிலிருந்து எனக்குப் புரிந்ததை சிறிது விளக்கமாகச் சொல்லலாம் என்றே இந்தப் பதிவை எழுத முனைகின்றேன். அதற்கு முன்பு நாம் அந்தப் பதிவின் சுருக்கத்தைக் கண்டுவிடுவோம். 

விமலாவின் உந்துதலில் "Hamilton : An American Musical" என்ற நிகழ்ப்படத்தை பார்த்தபோது அதில் அரங்கேற்றபட்ட "Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story" என்னும் பாடல் "Hamilton” என்னும் மாமனிதரின் கதையை தழுவியது என்று அறிந்தேன். அவர் தனது வாழ்நாளை தனது நாடாகிய "அமெரிக்க” வை வளம் மிகுந்தவையாக மாற்ற முயற்சித்தார். அப்படிருக்க 47 - 49 வயதில் சுட்டு கொல்லப்பட்டார். இப்பொது இவரது கதைகளை யார் சொல்லுவது, இவரது கதையைச் சொல்லும் அளவிற்கு இவர் என்ன செய்துவிட்டார்? மனிதன் என்பவன் ஒரு கோட்பாடோடு வாழ்ந்து வந்தநிலையில், இவர் மட்டும் தனது வாழ்க்கையின் நோக்கம் என்னவென்று அறிந்து புதிய பாதையைத் தனக்கென அமைத்துக்கொண்டு நடக்கவே "அமெரிக்க” விற்கு மாற்றம் கொண்டுவரவே, "Founding Fathers of America" என்று மற்றவர்களால் அழைக்கப்பட்டு, அவரின் கதை பேசப்பட்டு வருகிறது.

இந்தக் கதையிலிருந்து எனக்குப் புலப்பட்டது என்னவென்றால், பிறப்பினால் ஒன்றுபட்ட மனிதர்கள் தங்களுக்கென்று ஒரு தனித்துவம் இருப்பதை உணர்ந்து அதனை ஒரு கோட்பாடாக எடுத்துக்கொண்டு வாழ்ந்தால் எல்லோருமே ஒரு சுயசரிதைக்கு உரியவர்கள் ஆவார். அகத்தியர் அப்பா எப்பொழுதும் சொல்வதைப் போலச் சித்தர்கள் வழியில் நடக்கும் நாம் கூட நமது தனித்துவம் என்னவென்று அறியவே பலவழிமுறைகளை வகுத்து தந்து இருக்கிறார். சரியை, கிரியை, யோகம், ஞானம் இவைகளை கடைப்பிடித்து வருவதோடு உள்பயணமாகிய தியானத்தையும் செய்து வரும்போது நம்மை நாம் அறியும் வாய்ப்பு கிடைக்கும். இதன் வெளிப்பாடே ஞானத்தை நோக்கிப் பயணம் பெற உறுதுணையையாய் இருக்கும். நாம் செய்யும் செயலுக்கு ஏற்பவே நமக்கு அந்த ஞானம் வந்தடையும். இவை ஒவ்வொருவருக்கும் வேறுபட்டே இருக்கும் என்று அகத்தியர் அப்பா சொல்லி இருக்கிறார்.

இப்போது நாம் அகத்தியர் அப்பாவையும், மற்ற சித்தர்களையும் பற்றிப் பேசும் நிலையில் இருக்க, அகத்தியர் அப்பா நம்மையும் அவர்களைப் போல் சித்தர்களின் வரிசையில் சேர்பதற்கே நம்மோடு பயணம் செய்கிறார். இவ்வாறு இருக்க, நாம் கற்றதையும் தம்மோடு வைத்துக்கொள்ளாது, நம்மொடு மற்ற ஜீவராசிகளையும் மேல்நிகைக்கு கொண்டு வரும் போது நாம் புளங்காகிதம் அடைவோம். அதாவது இந்த ஊடகத்தில் கூறிய பலவழிமுறைகளை ஒருமனத்துடன் செய்துவரவே நம்முள் ஏற்படக்கூடிய மாற்றங்கள், நமது சிந்தனை திறனையும் மாற்றம் அடையச்செய்யும். ஒருமனதோடு செய்யும்போது நாம் இந்த பிரபஞ்சத்தோடு இணைகிரோம். அந்நிலையில் நாம், நம்மைச் சுற்றி இருக்கும் எல்லா உயிரினங்களும், பொருட்களும், எண்ணங்களும், செயல்களும் ஒன்றிணைத்து வெட்ட வெளியில் இணைக்கிறோம். அந்த நிலையில் நீ வேறு நான் வேறு என்ற வேற்றுமை மறைந்து எல்லாம் சமநிலை அடைந்து, அவற்றுக்குப் பெயர் சொல்லமுடியாத நிலைக்கு நாம் தள்ளப்படுவோம். அதையே நக்கீரர் விநாயகர் திரு அகவல் பாடல் வரிகளில் அருமையாகச் சொல்லிருப்பார்.

மோன ஞான முழுதுமளித்து
சிற்பரிபூரண சிவத்தை காண

நற்சிவ நிட்கள நாட்டமுந் தந்து
குருவும் சீடனும் கூடிக் கலந்து
இருவரும் ஒரு தனி இடம் தனில் சேர்ந்து
தானந்தமாகித் தற்பர வெளியில்
ஆனந்த போத அறிவைக் கலந்து
ஈசனிணையடியிருத்தி மனதே
நீயே நானாய் நானே நீயாய்க்
காயா புரியைக் கனவெனவுணர்ந்து
எல்லாமுன் செயலென்றேயுணர
நல்ல உன்னருள் நாட்டந் தருவாய்
காரண குருவே கற்பகக் களிறே
வாரணமுகத்து வள்ளலே போற்றி

யோகத்தினால் கூடிய ஞானத்தில் சும்மா இருக்கும் சுகத்தை அடைய சிவனை முழுதாய் ஏற்று, சுய விருப்பு வெறுப்பற்ற நிலையில் குருவோடு சேர்ந்து சீடனாகிய நாமும் வெட்டவெளியில் நமது முயற்சி அற்று குருவின் அருளால் கலவைக்கொண்டு, எல்லாம் சமமே என்ற உணர்வினை உணர்ந்து அறிவைப் பெற்று, மனதினை சிவத்தோடு ஐக்கியப்படுத்தி கொண்டு வரவே இவை யாவும் கனவென்று உனர அதனை உண்மைப்படுத்த வேண்டும் என்று பிரார்த்தனை செய்து வர இவை யாவும் நமக்கான சரித்திரத்தை மாற்றி எழுதும். இதுவே அப்பதிவு எனக்கு ஊற்றிய ஞானப்பாடம்.

THE HIDDEN TRUTH

We are all used to having heard the Bhagavad Gita read or recited. It was a discourse given by Lord Krishna on the battlefront to Arjuna. Here in this above video, which my wife shared and asked me to listen to, a much less known conversation is recorded that between Uddhava and Sri Krishna. It is called the Uddhava Gita. Uddhava questions the events leading to the Kurukshetra battle. Here Uddhava hesitantly questions Sri Krishna for what he believes to by inaction on the part of him to intervene at many instances and prevent those shameful events from taking place. Here Sri Krishna opens our eyes to the truth that although we talk about God and his presence we tend to put him aside when we engage in unlawful deeds. This is when disaster strikes. If only we remember every instance of his presence we would never make a mistake. We often listen to ourselves rather than the Divine and his divine voice or Manasatchi that watches our every move. When Agathiyar is in our thoughts day and night we shall never make a wrong move. An upcoming guru who later fell into disgrace held on to a beautiful concept that impressed me. I took his message and never saw the messenger. He asked us to consider what our guru would do in our place before we even make any move. Bringing the thought and his presence at these times will stop us from making the wrong choices. But he too eventually fell for it, putting aside all his gurus for that one moment, that brought on to him much misery and defamation. But I tend to see the other side of the coin. Maybe he had exhausted his karma and desires but as others' desires needed to be fulfilled certain unprecedented events have to take place. Otherwise, both parties cannot possibly come out of the cycle of karma. Sadly, we do lip service most of the time and brush aside the very principles we hold to at times where our personal and individual desires take hold of us. That is when we are caught in the trap of our own making. Then we rush to him for help. If there is no sign of him we start deriding and accusing him even questioning if he is at all present. That is the mode of man. I too need to remind myself of the dangers, not what is out there but the hidden vasanas that await the right moment to spring up from the depth of my heart. This is where we need a guru to help us deal with these past vasanas and rather than keep them under check, to exhaust them either in the fire of sacrifice, charity, Yagna, or meditation. A watchful guru keeps tab of our moves and saves us in the nick of time provided we do not sideline him at those moments.

Uddhava's story itself is very enlightening. The Deccan Herald carried this story. 

Sri Krishna in wanting to enlighten Uddhava gave him an insignificant chore, sending the learned Uddhava to Vrindavan. He was to pass a message to the milkmaids or Gopikas that Sri Krishna was not returning to Vrindavan as promised. Sri Krishna could have asked anyone else to pass the message on to the gopikas. Why Uddhava? In delivering this insignificant message Uddhava learned the significance of devotion to a personal God.

Uddhava promptly went to the gopikas and told them that they should not weep for Krishna and that they should invest their energies in acquiring Brahamajnana. He tried to teach them the virtues the yoga and meditation, instructed them to ignore the body and how these practices would lead to samadhi. 

But the gopikas taught him instead guru bakthi and devotion to a personal God.

The gopikas told him that they were in Krishna samadhi all the time and were constantly experiencing the three yogas of meditation, wisdom, and devotion.

Uddhava wanted to impart theoretical knowledge, while the gopikas were instructing him in the priceless value of direct experience. (Source: https://www.deccanherald.com/content/466097/story-krishna-uddhava.html)

There is a lesson for us too from this episode. This clearly exemplifies the way of the Siddhas, that of direct communion and direct experience rather than theoretical and classroom education. Agathiyar too told me that what is generally achieved through Hathayoga is now possible through tapas and puja. "அடையோகம் தன்னில் கிட்டும் சித்தி எல்லாம் அவையனைத்தும் தவமொடு வழிபாட்டில் பெறுவாய்." 

Later at the tail end of Sri Krishna's tale, Uddhava is summoned again to bring a message again this time to his Yadava clan informing them of his eventual death. 

This was the context behind Krishna’s revelation to Uddhava of the Hamsa Gita or the Song of the Swan otherwise known as the Uddhava Gita.

“The restless mind,” says Krishna to Uddhava, “easily falls victim to the illusion of diversity, which leads to the conception of good and evil and the discrimination between prescribed action, inaction, and prohibited action. By controlling your mind and senses you will see the world in your own self, and your own self in Me, the Supreme Lord.

Read more at: https://www.deccanherald.com/content/466097/story-krishna-uddhava.html

This is exactly what Mahin shared with me too over the telephone conversation last night. As I spoke to him about choices and that of switching off all that exists by simply telling oneself that "Nothing Exists", he gives me a better option, that of accepting everything into one's fold and living in harmony with it. I was amazed at his in-depth insight. That is what Sri Krishna told Uddhava too, "See the world in your self and your self in Me." Agathiyar had mentioned this too that he is the Prapanjam and that the Prapanjam is in him too. 

WHO LIVES, WHO DIES, WHO TELLS YOUR STORY

My daughter today showed me a video of a stage musical titled "Hamilton: An American Musical." She had been watching the play recently and today told me that I should watch the song "Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells  Your Story" that is sung on stage. The song goes as follows.

Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story

Original Broadway Cast of Hamilton

Let me tell you what I wish I'd known
When I was young and dreamed of glory
You have no control
Who lives, who dies, who tells your story?

President Jefferson
I'll give him this, his financial system is a work of genius
I couldn't undo it if I tried
And I've tried

Who lives, who dies, who tells your story?

President Madison
He took our country from bankruptcy to prosperity
I hate to admit it
But he doesn't get enough credit for all the credit he gave us

Who lives, who dies, who tells your story

Every other founding fathers' story gets told
Every other founding father gets to grow old

And when you're gone, who remembers your name?
Who keeps your flame?
Who tells your story?
Who tells your story?
Who tells your story?

I put myself back in the narrative
(Eliza)
I stop wasting time on tears
I live another 50 years
It's not enough (Eliza)

I interview every soldier who fought by your side
(She tells our story)
I try to make sense of your thousands of pages of writings
You really do write like you're running out of time

I rely on Angelica
While she's alive, we tell your story
She is buried in Trinity Church near you
When I needed her most, she was right on time
And I'm still not through
I ask myself, what would you do if you had more time
The Lord, in his kindness
He gives me what you always wanted
He gives me more time

I raise funds in D.C. for the Washington Monument
(She tells my story)
I speak out against slavery
You could have done so much more if you only had time
And when my time is up, have I done enough?
Will they tell your story?

Oh, can I show you what I'm proudest of?
(The orphanage)
I established the first private orphanage in New York City
(The orphanage)
I help to raise hundreds of children
I get to see them growing up
(The orphanage)
In their eyes I see you, Alexander
I see you every time
And when my time is up
Have I done enough?
Will they tell your story?

Oh, I can't wait to see you again
It's only a matter of time
Will they tell your story? (Time)
Who lives, who dies, who tells your story? (Time)
Will they tell your story? (Time)
Who lives, who dies, who tells your story?

(Source: Musixmatch, Songwriters: Lin-manuel Miranda, Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story lyrics © 5000 Broadway Music)

I was brought to tears. Why? It spoke about having a Reason; it spoke about our Role here; it spoke about our Purpose; it spoke about Leaving something behind; it spoke about Lighting another candle, all that we held true to our hearts and had shared in this blog in the past. We could connect to the wonderful lyrics. Only some time back my daughter and I spoke about how our lives were a compilation of short stories. She then highlighted to me that Rudyard Kipling's "Jungle Book" too was a compilation of several short stories. Then she spoke about "Loki Agent of Asgard" too. I told her to share what she had read and watched. I open the floor to her.

WHO LIVES, WHO DIES, WHO TELLS YOUR STORY

Alexander Hamilton was one of the founding fathers of America. He is most known as the man on the US$10 note, as the 1st Secretary of Treasury and the creator of the US financial system.

Although he greatly contributed in fighting for America's freedom and building it up from the foundations, he was not one of the most remembered founding fathers until the 2015 stage musical Hamilton premiered.

The song "Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story" talks about how we do not have control over who remembers us, how they remember us, and whether they choose to keep our story alive.

Hamilton had escaped death many times throughout his life, and believed he had survived that long for a reason. He worked non stop his entire life to better America in hopes of fulfilling whatever that purpose was.

He eventually was shot by Aaron Burr in a duel at around age 47- 49.

While every other founding fathers' story got told in museums and history classes, Hamilton's was mostly told by his wife Eliza with help from her sister Angelica.

After his death, Eliza who outlived him another 50 years tried her best to continue his work. She collected stories of the men who fought alongside Hamilton, compiled his many writings, collected funds for the Washington Monument, spoke up against slavery, and opened the first private orphanage in New York in her husband's memory, who was also an orphan.

Throughout the song, she keeps asking herself when her time runs out, has she done enough? Will we tell her story?

In the last lines of the song, we hear the company ask the question again: Who tells your story? And we hear the company reply: Time. Only time will tell.

While she spent her life keeping the stories and legacies of the people around her alive, the same was not done enough for her.

In the final moments of the musical, Eliza is shown entering heaven, where she does not meet her husband Hamilton, but Lin-Manuel Miranda, the writer and creator of the play and actor who plays Hamilton.

He takes her hand and guides her to the front of the stage, where she breaks the fourth wall, and upon seeing the audience, she gasps with joy.

The creators of the stage musical have told her story.

Beautiful, right? My daughter now moves on to the next story that of Loki.

Just before evil Loki dies, he makes a deal with the Queen of Death to be reborn with his powers intact so he may continue causing chaos.

However when he is reincarnated as Kid Loki without memories of his past life, almost everyone he meets is afraid of him or wants to fight him as they do not trust Loki and believe it is impossible for him to be good.

Seeing this, Kid Loki decides that he wants to change that and prove that he can be good. 

Now a young adult, he starts serving the All-Mother in the Agent of Asgard series.

He gets sent on missions on her behalf, and with each mission he completes, a page from his past life is removed or rewritten, slowly wiping away all the evil deeds commited in his past life.

He tries to change his identity and get people to like him, choosing the form of a handsome man and trying to get on everyone's good side.

Eventually, he gets attacked and kidnapped by a future version of himself called King Loki, who travels to the past to tell him that his efforts will go to waste.

Because King Loki had successfully rewritten his entire past, but people still saw him as Loki, the God of Mischief and Chaos, the Liesmith, the Silver-tongued, and would never fully trust him.

So he decided that he will stick with the role he was given, and traveled back in time to cut his missions short and turn his younger self evil sooner.

But the present Loki refuses. He realizes that even when people try hard to put him in a box labeled evil and nail it shut, he has control over his story and his life.

He forgoes his good looks and people pleasing, rebranding himself as the God of Stories, because there cannot be Order without Chaos. Heroes cannot be remembered for their good if Loki was not around to cause the mischief and chaos.

His role now is to protect the stories of the Asgardian Gods and the people of Earth. Even when he is offered a seat among the Gods after saving them, he walks away saying he is done picking sides.

As the world comes to an end, he traps the stories of the Asgardians and the Avengers in the final battle.

He also traps his bestfriend Verity as she is telling the story of her life, essentially trapping her soul and essence.

He explains to her that their existance is entirely dependant on the stories told about them, and how when the universe is reborn, he will release these stories into the new universe.

He tells of how people on Earth used to sit around fires during a storm to tell stories of how the thunder and lightning was created by Thor smashing his hammer on the ground of the sky, and the rain was the blood of his enemies falling to earth.

These stories not only gave hope and wonder in times of fear, but possibly created the Gods themselves who would not exist if stories of them were not told.

Whether the Gods created people or people created Gods, he does not know. But his job now is to ensure their existance by making sure their stories keep getting told.

We can relate to this story too. As Loki says with each mission he completes, a page from his past life is removed or rewritten, we are here to change what we had done previously through each task or mission too. Some of us have vivid memories of it, others none while still others could remember with some assistance. Just as Loki explains that our existence is entirely dependant on the stories told about us,  we exist only because there is a story behind us. 

My brother is a great storyteller too being a journalist himself. He wrote about our father on Father's Day in an online paper. He had a story to tell about our father (https://www.freemalaysiatoday.com/category/opinion/2021/06/20/my-father-my-son/) 

Many years back and again in January this year, he wrote about my mother too. (https://www.freemalaysiatoday.com/category/leisure/2021/01/13/when-little-valli-met-pandit-nehru-and-set-off-the-taiping-incident/)

Recently he wrote about my brother too. (https://www.freemalaysiatoday.com/category/leisure/2021/06/11/emergency-in-the-estate-ghani-to-the-rescue/)

And not forgetting our grandchildren too. (https://www.freemalaysiatoday.com/category/opinion/2021/06/12/little-prisoners-of-the-pandemic/)

This blog too is about stories. Just as Loki traps the stories of the Asgardians and the Avengers, in this blog we capture the lives of saints and Siddhas. We capture stories about common people like you and me. When we pick up Mahatma Gandhi's autobiography or Paramahansa Yogananda's autobiography we momentarily relive their life. As Carl Sagan wrote about books, "They allow people long dead to talk inside our heads", and as Loki trapped Verity's soul and essence, the lives, soul, and essence of the saints live in these pages too. 

People simply love listening to stories. My daughters grew up listening to some wonderful stories. One of our favorites was the 1964 edition of "Little Chick Chick." My elder daughter had heard the story told so many times that she had memorized it. She would repeat it by heart while gazing at the ceiling. Then it was told to my second daughter. Today I tell it to my granddaughter. 

We are indeed made up of stories. We too have heard of the stories, the myths and legends, fables and Puranas etc that are told of the Gods. As Loki suggests that "These stories possibly created the Gods themselves who would not exist if stories of them were not told," Agathiyar in his "Agathiyar Gnanam" surprises us saying someone clever made up some good old stories back then too.

மயங்குதற்கு ஞானம்பார் முன்னோர் கூடி
மாட்டினார் கதை காவ்யம் புராணம் என்றும்
இயலான ரசந்தனில் ஈப்புகுந்தாற் போலும்
இசைத்திட்டார் சாத்திரங்கள் ஆறென்றே தான்
வயலான பயன்பெறவே வியாசர் தாமும்
மாட்டினார் சிவனார் உத்தரவினாலே

உத்தாரம் இப்படியே புராணம் காட்டி
உலகத்தில் பாரதம் போல் கதை உண்டாக்கி
கர்த்தாவைத் தானென்று தோண ஒட்டாக்
கபட நாடகம் மாகம் ஏதம் சேர்த்துச்
சத்தாக வழியாகச் சேர்ந்தோர்க்கு எல்லாம்
சதியுடனே வெகு தர்க்கம் பொருள் போல் பாடிப்
பத்தாகச் சைவர்க்கு ஒப்பனையும் செய்து
பாடினார் சாத்திரத்தைப் பாடினாரே

பாடினதோர் வகையேது சொல்லக் கேளு
பாரத புராணம் என்ற சோதியப்பா

நீடியதோர் ராவணன் தான் பிறக்க என்றும்
நிலையான தசரதன்கை வெல்ல என்றும்
நீடியவோ ராசன் என்றும் முனிவர் என்றும்
நிறையருள் பெற்றவர் என்றும் தேவர் என்றும்
ஆடியதோர் அரக்கர் என்றும் மனிதர் என்றும்
பாடினார் நாள்தோறும் பகையாய்த் தானே

கழிந்திடுவார் பாவத்தால் என்று சொல்லும்
கட்டியதால் நல்வேதம் அறு சாத்திரங்கள்

அழிந்திடவே சொன்னது அல்லால் வேறொன்று இல்லை
அதர்மம் என்றும் தர்மம் என்றும் இரண்டு உண்டாக்கி
ஒழிந்திடுவார் என்று சொல்லிப் பிறப்பு உண்டு என்றும்
உத்தமனாய்ப் பிறப்பன் என்றும் உலகத்தோர்கள்
தெளிந்திடுவோர் குருக்கள் என்றும் சீடர் என்றும்
சீவனத்துக்கு அங்கல்லோ தெளிந்து தாணே

Bringing us to question if all we knew to be true was infact true, Agathiyar then leads us to the truth, pooranam or the breath. He says evolution is not much about taking higher forms but to extend the breath and eventually extending one's lifespan.

பூரணமே தெய்வம் என உரைத்தார் ஐயா
பூரணத்தை இன்னது என்று புகல வேண்டும்
காரணத்தைச் சொல்லுகிறேன் நினைவாய்க் கேளு
கலையான பதினாறும் பூரணமே ஆகும்
மாரணமா மூலகத்தில் மதி மயங்கி மதிகெட்டுப்
பூரணத்தை இகழ்ந்தார் ஐயா
வாரணத்தை மனம் வைத்துப் பூரணத்தைக் காத்தால்
வாசி என்ற சிவயோக வாழ்க்கை ஆச்சே

ஆச்சப்பா இந்தமுறை பதினெண் பேரும்
அயன்மாலும் அரனோடும் தேவர் எல்லாம்

மூச்சப்பா தெய்வம் என்றே அறியச் சொன்னார்
முனிவோர்கள் இருடியர் இப்படியே சொன்னார்
பேச்சப்பா பேசாமல் நூலைப் பார்த்துப்
பேரான பூரணத்தை நினைவாக் காரு
வாச்சப்பா பூரணத்தைக் காக்கும் பேர்கள்
வாசி நடுமைத்துள் வாழ்வார் தானே

தானென்ற பெரியோர்கள் உலகத்து உள்ளே
தாயான பூரணத்தை அறிந்த பின்பு
தேனென்ற பானமதைப் பானம் செய்து
தெவிட்டாத மௌன சிவயோகம் செய்தார்
ஊனென்ற உடலை நம்பி இருந்த பேர்க்கே
ஒரு நான்கு வேதம் என்றும் நூல் ஆறென்றும்
நானென்றும் நீயென்றும் சாதி என்றும்
நாட்டினார் உலகத்தோர் பிழைக்கத் தானே

பிழைப்பதற்கு நால் பலவும் சொல்லா விட்டால்
பூரணத்தை அறியாமல் இறப்பார் என்றும்
உழைப்பதற்கு நூல் கட்டிப் போடா விட்டால்
உலகத்தில் புத்தி கெட்டே அலைவார் என்றும்
தழைப்பதற்குச் சாதி என்றும் விந்து என்றும்
தந்தை தாய் பிள்ளை என்றும் பாரி என்றும்
உழைப்பதற்குச் சொன்னது அல்லால் கதி வேறில்லை
உத்தமனே அறிந்தோர்கள் பாடினார்கள்

Agathiyar says we tend to become comfortable with these stories and forget our real purpose in coming here. We must find our true purpose, live it and leave a story behind, our story. We are here to leave a mark, we are here to leave behind our story that shall be remembered by our kith and kin. If it is a good one they shall cherish and carry it with them. If it was a bad one, they might prefer to bury it and move on with their lives. Those who have yet to discover their purpose could take a clue from the late poet Kannadhasan who lists out several states that man could rise to in the following song of his.

மனிதன் என்பவன் தெய்வமாகலாம்

மனிதன் என்பவன் தெய்வமாகலாம்

மனிதன் என்பவன் தெய்வமாகலாம்

வாரி வாரி வழங்கும் போது வள்ளல் ஆகலாம்

வாழை போல தன்னைத் தந்து தியாகி ஆகலாம்

உறுதியோடு மெழுகு போல ஒளியை வீசலாம்

மனிதன் என்பவன் தெய்வமாகலாம், தெய்வமாகலாம்

ஊருக்கு என்று வாழ்ந்த நெஞ்சம் சிலைகள் ஆகலாம்

உறவுக்கென்று விரிந்த உள்ளம் மலர்கள் ஆகலாம்

ஊருக்கு என்று வாழ்ந்த நெஞ்சம் சிலைகள் ஆகலாம்

உறவுக்கென்று விரிந்த உள்ளம் மலர்கள் ஆகலாம்

யாருக்கென்று அழுத போதும் தலைவனாகலாம்

மனம் மனம் அது கோவிலாகலாம்

மனிதன் என்பவன் தெய்வமாகலாம்

மனிதன் என்பவன் தெய்வமாகலாம்

மனிதன் என்பவன் தெய்வமாகலாம்

மனமிருந்தால் பறவைக்கூட்டில் மான்கள் வாழலாம்

வழியிருந்தால் கடுகுக்குள்ளே மலையைக் காணலாம்

மனமிருந்தால் பறவைக்கூட்டில் மான்கள் வாழலாம்

வழியிருந்தால் கடுகுக்குள்ளே மலையைக் காணலாம்

துணிந்து விட்டால் தலையில் எந்த சுமையும் தாங்கலாம்

குணம் குணம் அது கோவிலாகலாம்

மனிதன் என்பவன் தெய்வமாகலாம்

வாரி வாரி வழங்கும் போது வள்ளல் ஆகலாம்

வாழை போல தன்னைத் தந்து தியாகி ஆகலாம்

உறுதியோடு மெழுகு போல ஒளியை வீசலாம்

மனிதன் என்பவன் தெய்வமாகலாம், தெய்வமாகலாம்

(Source: Musixmatch, Manithan Enbavan lyrics © Saregama Music United States)

As the lyrics of the song "உள்ளம் என்பது ஆமை" goes "தெய்வம் என்றால் அது தெய்வம் அது சிலை என்றால் வெறும் சிலைதான் " we choose what is and what is not. 

உள்ளம் என்பது ஆமை

அதில் உண்மை என்பது ஊமை

சொல்லில் வருவது பாதி

நெஞ்சில் தூங்கி கிடப்பது மீதி

உள்ளம் என்பது ஆமை ...

தெய்வம் என்றால் அது தெய்வம்

அது சிலை என்றால் வெறும் சிலை தான்

உண்டென்றால் அது உண்டு

இல்லை என்றால் அது இல்லை

இல்லை என்றால் அது இல்லை

உள்ளம் என்பது ஆமை ...

தண்ணீர் தணல் போல் எரியும்

செந்தணலும் நீர் போல் குளிரும்

நண்பனும் பகை போல் தெரி்யும்

அது நாட்பட நாட்பட புரியும்

நாட்பட நாட்பட புரியும்

உள்ளம் என்பது ஆமை ....

(Source: http://tamilsong2015.blogspot.com/2014/09/ullam-enbathu-aamai-lyrics-paarthaal.html)

As Loki suggests that "These stories possibly created the Gods themselves who would not exist if stories of them were not told" we are keeping the stories and legacies of Agathiyar alive through this blog. Please stay with us.