TOTAL TRANSFORMATION

If we were told in the past, that the world was not real, we have come to learn that it is pretty much real. It is just that, like the flowing river or liquid, is fluid and constantly changing. We were never the same too. Each moment cells are dying in us and are being replaced continuously. I am not the Shanmugam Avadaiyappa I was several years back. I have changed in numerous ways with much input going in and in much dropped too. So what is forever changeless then? 

The Siddhas seem to be the middlemen to bring a compromise to age-held principles and come up with new means to tackle the spiritual needs of this new age souls. Agathiyar and Lobama in agreeing mutually spoke among them the need to have an audience with Lord Shiva regarding this. They allowed us to eavesdrop on their conversation.

S.N.Kandaswamy writes in his book, "The Yoga of Siddha Avvai", Babaji's Kriya Yoga and Publications, Inc, 2004, that "It becomes apparent that the path of the Siddhas was deemed by Saint Tayumanavar to be the golden means between the two extremes of Saiva Siddhanta and Vedanta for the attainments and final liberation." He adds that "The Siddhas reconciled the apparent contradictions arising out of Jnana Kanda and Karma Kanda on the one hand, Vedanta and Siddhanta on the other." 

The sole purpose of coming was revealed to us by Agathiyar. பிறப்பின் நோக்கமே பிறவா தவம் பெறுவது. The purpose of taking birth was to receive the boon of not taking further births. How would that be possible? Coming to the Siddhas the first thing they reveal to us is the existence and nature of Karma which is the chain of cause and reaction that keeps us coming back. Next, they show us the means to balance the score through Sariyai and Kriyai and eventually exhaust it through Yoga and the fire of the breath and meditation. Thenceforth there is no need to pursue the path, the way, the method, the practices, etc. One just lives his given life till he is summoned or rather when he chooses to return home to the state before life and existence, the void, the space, the emptiness.  Meanwhile, some souls might be given further tasks in other subtle realms. 

We understand why Agathiyar who made the calling to come to his path, worship the Siddhas, came as a guru in physical form and as a bronze statue, had us perform rituals including libation to it and oblation, brought seekers and aspirants together in worship at AVM that he started, coming to speak to us through the Nadi and devotees and finally having AVM wind up and had us drop our hold on all these attachments, even asked that we drop our attachment towards him. We had to move on to the other phases that were more subtle in nature. We had to know the soul or (Jeeva)Atma with the help of the guru. We had to raise this tiny spark that originated from the Param(Atma) to burn as bright as the source with the help of the breath or Uyir given to us. All that was of concern to the body or Udal and the physical world is unimportant then. Eventually, only the awareness of the breath lingers. The heat or the Agni Jwalai resulting from this Tavam or austerity or practice shall bring us to the state of Sivam and Jothi. We return to the source. 

Coming to us for the very first time many years ago, Ramalinga Adigal in an ecstatic state, surprised us with the following words describing the Jothi. 

"My God came within me to grant this Jothi. Veils upon veils did he show me. It was both a spark and majestical Jothi. It was all-enveloping."

என் பெருமானே என்னுள் வந்து அருளிய ஜோதி அது....என் பெருமான் அருளிய ஜோதி அது... திரை எனும் திரை எனும் என் பெருமான் காட்டிய திரை அது....என் அருள் அப்பன் அருள் ஜோதி அது...சீர்ஜோதி அது பெருஞ் ஜோதி அது...ஏறும் பெரும் ஜோதி அது...என்னுள் அது ஏறும்போது திரை அது விலகியது...என்னுள் அது ஏறும் நிலையில் ஜோதி அது ஜோதி அது...திரை எனும் திரை அது அருட்பெருஞ்ஜோதி அது...

He was practically engulfed in it for we could see his joy and bliss that elevated him and lifted him from the ground. The few of us standing around him had to hold on tight to the devotee through whom he came less he is lifted off too. Coming back to his normalcy, he assured us that the path we took was right and that Agathiyar would show us the Jothi too. He asks us to aid the Jothi within to burn brightly. 

அகத்தியன் அருட்ஜோதியை நோக்கி அழைத்துச் செல்வான். திரை விலக உங்களில் இருக்கும் ஜோதி அதனைச் சுடர்விட செய்யுங்கள். என் அப்பன் அகத்தியன் உங்களுக்குள் வந்து அத்திரையை விலக்கிவிடுவார். அதுவே இப்பாடலின் பொருள்.

Agathiyar in his "Sowmiya Saagaram", reveals to his student Pulastyar that the Siddhas are in the form of Jothi, in the Jothi and as the Jothi, and that, that Jothi is Sivam.

அகத்தியர் தன்னுடைய சௌமிய சாகரம் (111), தன்னுடைய மாணவனான புலத்தியருக்கு ரிஷி முனிவர் பிறப்பைப் பற்றி கூறும்போது,

"காணவே சிவஞானம் உணர்ந்தோர் தானும்

கருணையுள்ள மாதவத்தோர் பெருமை தானும்

பேணவே தூலமதைச் சூட்சுமமாக்கி

பிலமான சூட்சுமத்துக் காரணமாய் நின்று

தோணவே ஆதி அந்தம் ஒன்றாய் நின்று

துலங்குகின்ற சுடரொளியில் சோதியாகிப்

பேணவே பூமியில் வந்து அவதரிப்பார்

பிறந்தாலுஞ் சிவயோகி யாவார் பாரே."

Tavayogi writes referring to Agathiyar's song.

Those who come to know the secret of Emptiness or Space or Void would take measures to transform their gross body into that of the subtle. The one factor that brings on this conversion is Jothi.

வெட்டவெளி பிரபஞ்ச ரகசியம் உணர்ந்தவர்கள் தன்னுடைய தூல உடலைச் சூட்சுமமாகி அந்தச் சூட்சும உடலுக்கு ஆதாரமாக மற்றும் காரணமாக இருக்கின்ற முதலும் முடிவுமாக இருக்கின்ற ஜோதியில் ஜோதியாக இருப்பார்கள்.

Tavayogi shows the way too. When man brings the energy originating in his Muladhra Chakra that is dominant in all his worldly actions all this while, to the higher chakras and when the pull of the interest shown in the Pindam or body is overcome, he shall be free to roam the Vetta Vezhi or void. But as long as man is entrapped in the gross body he can never venture further up the chakras. He has to transform his gross to that of subtler in nature, from the 5 elements to become the 1, and break away from the gravitational pull of the earth, to be free back in the emptiness. This is attaining the Gnanam or the knowledge to break loose. 

So we do understand the reason we are told to let go of all our attachments first and eventually let go of our hold on this body voluntarily, giving way for the transformation from the gross to the subtle to take place. This is Soruba Siddhi. Siddha Neri or the Way of the Siddhas teaches us to attain this state. 

மனிதனும் தன்னை கீழ்நோக்கி இருக்கும் மூலாதார சக்தியை மேல் நோக்கிச் செலுத்தினால் பிண்டத்தின் ஈர்ப்புச் சக்தியை கடந்தால் மனிதனும் வெட்டவெளியில் சுதந்திரமாக இருக்கலாம். ஆனால் மனிதன் உடலில் இருக்கும் வரை மேல்நோக்கிப் பயணம் செய்ய முடியாது. ஆகவே பஞ்சபூத உடலை வேதியியல் மாற்றத்தால் மாற்றி மூல அணுவாக மாற்றி புவியீர்ப்புக் கோட்டை கடந்து வெட்டவெளியில் சேர்ந்து சுதந்திரமாக உலாவுவதே ஞானம் ஆகும். அதுவே சொரூப சித்தி எனப்படும். அதை போதிப்பதுதான் சித்தர் நெறி. 

Tavayogi explains further the secrets of the Siddhas who had achieved and arrived there. Man who is a tiny atom in the vast Prapanjam holds on to the Moolam or source or  ParamAnu that is inherent in him as one would hold on to the end of a rope and slowly with a grip at a time makes his way up the rope to reach the ParamAnu in all its majesty and merge in it losing its individuality and separateness. This was achieved by man turned Siddhas in the past. Today they are in the form of this Jothi. Gnanam is the knowledge that leads to this process and transformation of becoming the Jothi in the Void. This is Brahma Ragasiyam or the secret of creation. 

பிரபஞ்சத்தின் சிறிய அணுவான மனிதன் மூல சக்தி என்கிற கயற்றின் நுனியைப் பிடித்து கொஞ்சம் கொஞ்சமாக பிரபஞ்ச பேராற்றலின் பரமாணுவை அடைந்து அதோடு ஐக்கியமாக முடியும் என்று கண்டுபிடித்தான். கண்டுபிடித்து அடைந்தவன் சித்தன். வெட்டவெளியில் ஜோதியாக இருப்பவனும் சித்தனே. வெட்டவெளி ஜோதியாவதே ஞானம். அதுவே பிரம்மரகசியம்.

Overwhelmed by his talks and revelations I sang Ramalinga Adigal's song before Agathiyar. 

"இன்று வருமோ நாளைக்கே வருமோ அல்லது மற்றென்று வருமோ அறியேன் எங்கோவே - துன்றுமல வெம்மாயை அற்று வெளிக்குள் வெளி கடந்து சும்மா இருக்கும் சுகம்."

Listening intently, Agathiyar questioned me asking if I knew its meaning? 

"வெளிக்குள் வெளி கடந்து" அப்பொருள் அறிவாயா? 

I told him I only knew how to sing but never understood its meaning. He began to explain.

When you come to know yourself completely, know all that is around you, know that nothing is permanent and forever changing, at the very moment you shall transcend that void or space or Vezhi. That is Summa Irupathu.

உன்னை நீ முழுதும் அறிந்து உன்னைச் சுற்றி இருக்கும் கணங்கள் அறிந்து எதுவும் நிலை அற்றது என்று நீ அறியும் அத்தருணம் வெளிக்குள் நீயே வெளி கடப்பாய். அத்தருணமே சும்மா இருப்பது."

Hence we understand why Ramalinga Adigal asked us to enhance this Jothi within. This is only the first step towards better things to come and towards a total transformation.

THE SIDDHAS ARE VERY MUCH ALIVE 4

I guess people are comfortable keeping their distance and seeing Agathiyar and the Siddhas, Gods and Goddesses, and the other deities in the statues and pictures. They are terrified when they come up close and are too close for comfort. They choose not to believe that it is all happening. When I was a kid, in the 60s and a teen in the 70s, until the age of 13, my parents would consult a Chinese medium who was a neighbor for all my illnesses. He would go into a state of trance chanting and beating his shirtless back with the blunt side of a sword and write Chinese characters on a yellow strip of rice paper in red ink and burn it over a glass of water. He would ask me to drink the water that now contains the ashes. I would be cured. As we knew him only too well we were never terrified of him though he was of a large build and his back would carry red marks after beating himself since he was fairskin. The first time I visited a government hospital was when a dog bit me. 

Later moving house, I kept my distance whenever a neighbor went into a trance state where deities came within him and spoke. I was terrified. What I feared most was the manner they spoke and the tools they took in their hands. I was afraid that I would be beaten up. Later as I grew up I feared that they would pry into our lives and expose us for our bad deeds and doings. I would watch from my childhood home which was just some distance away from the neighbor's house. But once the deities left we would partake in the sacrifice, usually a goat, offered to these deities in the name of sacrifice. 

When I started working in the 80s I had another close encounter this time with Ma Kali who came through someone in my colleague's home. I was terrified. The moment she placed her palm on my head I fainted. All I could remember was the heat that her palm generated. 

During those years, the deities would come through my brother too. What surprised us was that he would speak the Chinese language to the visiting Chinese devotees, during these moments of trance. Here then I was not too terrified as it was my brother who was the channel. 

When my family joined me in worshipping the Siddhas beginning in 2005 after Tavayogi's arrival, and after Agathiyar's arrival in the form of the bronze statue later in 2010, Agathiyar began bringing strangers to our home and have me and my wife hear them out. He would come within to advise or heal them. Again I was terrified. We begged that it stop. Agathiyar listened. But later he made me realize that he had to see them and save those souls too. He comforted me that there would be no harm to me and my family and that he was merely using me as a tool and my home as a venue. When I consented, he brought them over again. Once he asked me to whom I shall turn too if he decided to shut his ears and close the door on me? I realized my mistake and we gave in to his divine play.

When Agathiyar had some youths come over to my home to witness and participate in the Pornami puja beginning in 2013, these divine energies came through several of these youths. Lord Murugan in a Nadi reading in 2018, asked me to give way and stand aside and watch his lila. The moment we did as told, all heaven broke loose and the divine energies came down in torrents toppling some devotees. Later he came through the Jeeva Nadi and simultaneously through a youth to heal my back with peacock feathers. He had us sing the Arutperunjothi mantra over a glass of water and asked that I drink it reminding me of the elderly Chinese medium who was our neighbor in the past. 

In 2016, Agathiyar relayed the news to a devotee through their Jeeva Nadi reading read by Tavayogi that the Siddhas arrived to witness and sit among us during the oblation or Homam carried out at AVM in the presence of Tavayogi and Mataji. He said only Mataji sensed it. Indeed Mataji had been asking if anyone felt the ground shake during the ritual. 

It is still happening. We have seen these and many more "energetic moments" during the divine lilas that the Siddhas and deities carried out in our midst. Much has been shared in this blog. 

I learned a lesson in all these. It was not to negate nor avoid but to accept that it was all part of creation. Everything and everyone has a use and purpose in this world of ours. It is all about advancing and evolving together though each in his own time and pace, and in his own time space. I have accepted it all. 

THE SIDDHAS ARE VERY MUCH ALIVE 3

When researchers and learned try to place the Siddhas in a timeline, trapping them in the web of time-space which they are said to have transcended; authors contained them in the pages of their books and their stories; and the gurus gave them forms and images; the Siddhas seem to be breaking all that was held as "Vedham" or the "Truth" by us. For instance Agathiyar in having the famed Nadi reader Hanumathdasan read the Nadi at his temple pointed out a figurine of his sculptured in cement at the top of the entrance and said that was not how he looked like, short and stout. Tavayogi after having had Agathiyar come as light had placed a granite statue of Agathiyar in the spot in the hills behind Kallar ashram. Tavayogi and Mataji going through some text describing his figure and stature made a fibre statue and placed him at the Kallar ashram. I was asked to commission his statue in bronze in the looks of the granite statue of his at his temple in Agasthiyampalli. He now graces the homes of select devotees and shall return to AVM for the Guru Purnima celebrations. So what did he actually look like?

Foreground: Agathiyar ar AVM; Background: Agathiyar at Agasthiyampalli.

We shall wait for the day he gives his Darshan together with Lobama that he has promised. Since I drew well having painted portraits of my parents, actors, and dancers, I wanted to see Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal and draw them. I had told Tavayogi my desire and wish back then. He replied that they shall come but added "Is that what you want?" Taking the hint from him I dropped the desire then for I sensed that there were much bigger things to desire for. Seeing my devotion towards Agathiyar my daughter who drew equally well painted his image in the looks of the bronze statue in our home and gifted me. 

Her art used on the cover of our album Agathiyar Geetham.

Her art based on the bronze statue of Agathiyar.

Recently Agathiyar told me and my wife about his wish to appear with his wife Lobama before us. He also said that their images would stay in me so that I could draw them. It was a gift for our devotion towards him he added.

Similarly many have given theories about his birth and the periods he lived in, some based on research and archeological findings and others scrutinizing the various Siddha texts and songs. Agathiyar in asking me to carry out his Jayanthi on the day of his "birth" told me in the Nadi that it was 27 1/2 Naligai that worked out to 11.58 minutes after the birth of his star Ahilyam. If Tavayogi says that we know his birth but no one knows when he expired, but there are theories about his samadhi in several places.

Wanting to know from the horse's mouth as they say, Suren agreed to ask Agathiyar in his Nadi reading when he was in Chennai in 2017. Agathiyar though he revealed some bits of his(story) reminded us not to "dig into the past". He had the Nadi reader Tamarai Selvan Aiya only read out what appeared and not elaborate further as all readers tend to do. The translation from Tamil goes as follows.

"Agathiyar in his very first mortal birth, had the vision of Kailash at a very young age of 10. After the vision, he took up extreme tapas (tavam) including breath control. With the holy feet of the Sadguru forever in his thought, he reached a state of Nirmala at Kailash. Upon receiving theecha from Lord Kailai Esan, he was blessed to be born a Siddha. It was a mystical birth. Agathiyar adds that it was not necessary to dwell on the source and the details (Rishimulam Nadhimulam Ariyavendam).

Born as a Siddha then and moving in the jungles, sustaining only on fruits, his thoughts fixed on Erai, having no attachment to the good or bad, he soon had the vision and grace of Goddess Vana Kali. Continuing with his seeking and search for realization, and further severe tavam, Lord Kailai Esan shows him his vision in Pothigai. Merging with Erai, Agathiyar stayed on at Pothigai upon Lord Kailai Esan's directive. While here he came to know about the medicinal benefits of various herbs and plants. Agathiyar received the names of Kudamuni, Kumbamuni, and other names from Lord Kailai Esan.

Having accomplished much to his credit, as in going without food, performing extreme tapas adhering to the eight limbs of Ashtanga Yoga, for the rest of the Yuga, remaining in silence and in the state of Vaasi, and gaining the Siddhi to travel through the air, yet Lord Kailai Esan told Agathiyar that there was something that he had failed to accomplish and do. When Agathiyar asked for further clarification, Lord Kailai Esan laughed and looked him straight into his eyes, "Although you are an embodiment of Gnanam, and those who hold on to your feet shall never face any disappointments, Gurumuni you do not have a companion as I do."

Agathiyar was taken aback. He came to know that the Lord intended to get him engaged to the very representation of Mother Kaveri, and Kaberan's daughter, Lobamutrai. Hence in this Kali Yuga, all those who came seeking him and stood before him and Lobha Ma, at Kalyana Theertam, seeing them as a personification of Shiva Sakthi, his energy that was of Shiva Sakthi shall come to bless them."

THE SIDDHAS ARE VERY MUCH ALIVE 2

When researchers and learned try to place the Siddhas in a timeline, authors contained them in the pages of their books and their stories, and the gurus gave them forms and images, the Siddhas are very much alive and living with us if we choose to believe. We are coexisting, with only a thin veil separating both worlds. 

They came as men but left equivalent to God our creator. They left us the means and the ways, the methods, and the practices if we are keen to learn and follow too. But seeing that it was rather more difficult to achieve what they did in their difficult days, they have simplified the means and practices to keep up with the times. 

Agathiyar has chosen to come directly to us bypassing men in the garb of gurus, heads of movements, and religious and spiritual figures. He has chosen the common men and women to speak through to us. He has chosen empty vessels who would not manipulate the teachings, the path, and the people for their own interest. He comes through an ordinary man or women who need not reach out to others but lives among the people. If all the former personalities distance themselves from the ordinary people, giving an impression of a vast difference in their learning and experience, in their status and standing, in their religiousness and spirituality, Agathiyar chooses to come to dine in the home of ordinary folks dispensing Gnanam. I guess he has lost faith in the system and has taken things into his own hands to bring salvation to the few who would listen and follow. But yet we choose to stay away. Agathiyar asked us recently what else he needs to do. 

A student or disciple has to listen to his teacher, master, or guru. We can of course reason out some things not to do. Though Agathiyar at times gives directives that surely mean one has to follow, at other times he brings us to speak our minds out, discuss, and have a conversation. He invites us to ask questions just as Tavayogi did. I believe that I have done whatever he said except for some tasks which I choose not to do for reasons he is well aware of and acknowledged as his test of my faith. I am glad I did not fall for those traps. 

What have the Siddhas to offer to us? Direct access to God or rather his energies. If once upon a time they brought on a sample of these energies into us to relish and enjoy the bliss, the ultimate move is to retain these energies in us thereby becoming one with the one, the Yegan the Sivam, the source of all these energies. If we have had a sample of this in brief moments of visiting certain temples and holy spots in the past in Sariyai; in carrying out rituals as in Kriyai, we connected with these energies on call in these brief moments. In doing Yoga, we brought these energies within for those brief moments. In gaining Gnanam in the presence of Agathiyar, these energies begin to well up bringing a completeness or Puranam to the journey. We have gained both theory and practical, seeing the application of these theories put into practice and their results. He wants to bring all ashore to the land of divine wisdom or Gnanam. Are there any takers? 

ARRIVING

If Sariyai and Kriyai satisfied us giving us the Udal Anubhavam through the senses, taking in the fun and frolicking of festivities, and coming together in doing charity; in coming to take up the practice of Yoga it has given us the Uyir Anubhavam, in observing the breath and taking in the ambrosia. While on board we learned that the Sudha Deham or Anbu Uru is a receptacle of the experience known as Uyir Anubhavam that comes with observing the breath. Agathiyar tells us that one comes to know that the phase of Dhyanam has ended when what remains is the awareness of the breath. He becomes the breath or Uyir. He experiences Uyir Anubhavam. Tavayogi had told me that the Vaasi was God after initiating me to observe the breath, a gift from Agathiyar, in 2005 when I spent a few days as directed by Agathiyar. 

Just before Tavayogi left for India in 2005, Agathiyar had him initiate me with his touch giving me the Udal Anubhavam, after directing me to him in a Nadi reading, again another gift that changed my fate and brought on a new destiny.

The JeevAtma within us that is a sample of the more magnificent ParamAtma, and that which brought us to materialize a form and shape and come into being, awakened by the grace of the guru, shows us the way home. This is the state of Pasithiru says Agathiyar eager and yearning or rather having a voracious appetite to return to the Oneness or Yegan. 

The Pranava Deham or Arul Uru that is a receptacle of the experience that comes by his grace or Arul Anubhavam, provides the avenue for us to bring the breath to fan the tiny spark of fire or flame the Agni Jwalai, to burn brightly. This is the state of Vizhithiru says Agathiyar, being aware of the breath and becoming it.

Finally, we have arrived at the last town now, having taken the train and traveling for long hours. It is time we took a walk through the town and discover what secrets it holds. The Gnana Deham or Inba Uru that is a receptacle of the experience of being one with Siva or Siva Anubhavam spoken of by Agathiyar recently, provides the venue where the effulgence or Arutperunjothi or Sivam comes down and within us, enveloping us in totality and consuming us in its fire of love and bliss ParamAnandham. 

Now that we have arrived to know Sivam, the ultimate giver of divine knowledge or Gnanam, what then is left of this gross material body when it is consumed by the divine that giveth it in the very first place? This is to return to the state of Thanitiru or the state before our very existence says Agathiyar.

It is truly satisfying and fulfilling to have both the knowledge of and experiences from these practices, bringing on a state of Paripuranam or completeness. I guess the journey has come to an end. We have arrived.

THE SIDDHAS ARE VERY MUCH ALIVE 1

When the researchers and learned tried to place the Siddhas in a timeline, and authors contained them in the pages of their books and their stories, and the gurus gave them forms and images, the Siddhas are very much alive and living with us if we choose to believe. We are coexisting with only a thin veil separating both worlds. 

When I was in Palani in 2003, after my darshan of Lord Muruga that I cannot recall till now, I stepped into a dark corridor. I came across a door on my right (that was exactly behind Lord Murugan's chamber). Three priests were in attendance. I asked the elderly priest closest to the door if it was Bhogar's sannadhi and samadhi. He nodded and went ahead showing the arati or flame and pointed to an opening where he said Bhogar resided. Another young priest was seated on the floor at his Kalla Petti or desk. The third a young man was standing with arms folded at another door that I assumed was the exit. Since the line of devotees before me and after me in the queue practically "disappeared into thin air" I took the liberty to sit for a while. Upon opening my eyes later the priest at the exit door gave me prasad and went over to a cupboard and reached for a drinking vessel. He handed it over to me saying it was milk from the abhisegam. I drank it and thanked him with a nod. I stepped outside the door into a bright corridor that led me to the open. I was in a daze drinking the milk. My feet hardly touched the ground, or at least that was how I felt. But it was entirely a different story when I started my climb. As I took the first step, I could not move my lower limbs. They felt extremely heavy. I had to force myself and use both my hands to lift my legs and place them on each step. I was sweating profusely and my breathing was heavy. My throat was parched and dry. I forced myself to climb the hill. No one stopped to ask what was wrong or came to assist. I doubt if they ever noticed. When I reached the top of the hill I looked around for a spot to lie down. I saw a row of shops and walked towards it. I dropped my frame on the ground, leaning against the wall of the row of shops. I saw white light with silhouettes of people moving around and speaking loudly. I lay there for some time before it began to clear. I eventually picked myself up and joined the queue. 

After drinking the milk, I went around and around the temple grounds numerous times till the effects of the "spiked" drink wore out. I headed for the waiting car and left Palani. Where was I and what did happen then? 

When Nadi Nool Aasan Ramesh called me over on 19.8.2005 for a reading, Agathiyar surprised me with a much-awaited explanation. He explained what took place at Palani Temple during my maiden pilgrimage in 2003. Agathiyar told me that Lord Murugan had given me the milk. 

"தெளிவு பெற தேய்வதிரு ஞான பாலும்,
பாலுணவு ஆண்டிதட கோட்டம் தன்னில்,
பால குமரனும் அளித்து விட்டார்,
ஞானப்பால் என் வாக்கால் குமரன் அளித்தார்,
ஞானப்பால் அருந்திய அக்கணம் தொட்டு,
அக்கணம் முதல் மாற்றநிலை பெறுவாய் உண்மை.

If I was pretty sure that Bhogar's sannadhi and samadhi was directly behind Lord Murugan's sannadhi, and the corridor was dark and Bhogar's sannadhi had no paintings but only a bare wall when I went again in 2005 accompanying Tavayogi and my brother, Bhogar's sannadhi was down a flight of steps in the open, in a separate building and its walls brightly painted with murals depicting stories from his life. Again a young priest handed a vessel of milk to Tavayogi just as we stepped out into the corridor. He and my brother took a portion each and I emptied the vessel. Again my feet were not touching the ground as I tried to keep pace with them. That was when Tavayogi stopped to turn to look at me. I saw a spark and twinkle in his eyes and a smile on his lips. He asked, "What Son?" I knew that he knew what was happening. I walked up to him and rested my drowsy head on his chest. We moved on. 

Now where was this then? How did Bhogar's sannadhi move places in two years time? When I went with the AVM family again in 2016, we were brought into Lord Murugan's presence via another route by a priest without asking. Bhogar's sannadhi was pretty much the same then. 

Since then I have considered Palani as Twilight Zone. You never know what to expect with the playful Lord Muruga. 

THE TRANSFORMATION TO A SIDDHA

What is the transformation that the Siddhas speak of? Swami Saravanananda in this book, an English translation of Ramalinga Adigal’s "Aruperunjhoti Agaval" published by Ramalinga Mission, Madras, writes that it begins with "the transformation of the mortal human body into the perfect body (Sudha deham), achieved by universal spiritual communion and devotion to god; followed by the transformation of the perfect body (Sudha deham) into the body of grace and light (Pranava deham). The ultimate and greatest transformation in human evolution is a transmutation into the Godhead, which he referred to as merging with the body of supreme wisdom - the body of God supreme (Gnana deham)."

In furthering our conquest of body and mind, we bring on the grace of the divine. His grace does wonders.

"At whatever age the aspirant gains illumination or the effulgence enters in him or emanates from within, some remarkable changes take place in the body frame. The Divine Light seems to change the very cell of the body, with the result, that they seem to function in the opposite direction."

"With the descent of sufficient Divine Light, the psychic head begins to emerge. According to Vallalar, this psychic head (a crown or diadem of light) is made up of a special and highly refined type of brain called Omkar brain. As soon as it emerges, it draws more cosmic light; the more the light the greater the growth of the psychic head. With the advent of the psychic head, more and more changes take place in the already purified body. The cells and thence the whole body begin to transcend the limits imposed on them by impure Maya (the grosser principle of nature) and try to break one more of its veils. The cells undergo alternate condensation and expansion for an unspecified period and the body slowly emerges out of its bondage and begins to grow. This expanding and ever-prospering body is called the subtle body or the body of Omkar or Pranava body."

For these changes in the physical body to take place, the Divine Light or Arutperunjhothi has to come within. This is possible through continuous thought of the divine and prayer. Marshall Govindan in his book "Babaji and the Eighteen Siddha Kriya Yoga Tradition", 1991, Kriya Yoga Publications (Reg), 196 Mountain Road, P.O.Box 90, Eastman, Quebec, Canada, reproduced with permission via e-mail, explains the nature and extent of this devotion as exemplified by Ramalinga Adigal.

"He sings that one has to think incessantly until he feels and melts with love for God. In such a melting mood one bursts into tears and sings praise of god and soothing warmth is produced in the aspirant. When this universal love and sacred warmth develops, the body as well as the soul becomes prepared for the descent of grace, in the form of light."

This warmth was felt in the devotee through whom Ramalinga Adigal came on Sivarathri. He asked if we felt it. He told us to work on it. Through yoga, the psychic heat or Tava Kanal emerges within. Earlier Agathiyar spoke about this Agni Jwalai that has to burn even brighter with the breath fanning it. It would soon reach the state of Sivam, he said. 

Swami Saravanananda continues,

"Slowly his body through the intensity of concentration of the mind begins to generate the flame of lapses, popularly known as psychic heat. Slowly the quantity of psychic heat is increased due to intense meditation and concentration on the universal effulgence. The extreme heat generated in the body produces smoke at first; this smoke gathers up in volume and escapes through the junction of the parietal bones of the skull (Brahma Randhra). The psychic smoke clears off and enhanced illumination results. This light (Tegas) is also called the aura or nimbus."

Rao Saheb K. Kothandapani Pillai BA in the foreword to Dr. C Srinivasan's "An Introduction to the Philosophy of  Saint Ramalingam", writes,

"These transformations occur in the body of the aspirant according to the intensity of spiritual warmth produced in him. The body is deprived of all its dross or impurities and made pure, fit for divine absorption. As the divine light descends into the sheath of energy (Pranayama Kosham) the entity becomes a Siddha in the truest sense of the word."

Thus the Sudha Deham or Anbu Uru is a receptacle of the experience that comes with the breath known as Uyir Anubhavam; the Pranava Deham or Arul Uru is a receptacle of the experience that comes by his grace or Arul Anubhavam and finally, the Gnana Deham or Inba Uru is a receptacle of the experience of being one with Siva or Siva Anubhavam spoken of by Agathiyar recently.

This is where the Siddhas are willing to bring us too. But we have already settled snugly thinking that worship of them is enough. It needs a dynamic soul to venture into these territories. Agathiyar is silently working on this soul and shall reveal the soul to us in his good time. 

SIT BACK & WATCH

Agathiyar in coming recently asked all of us why we came to the Siddhas. Seeing the puzzled look on their faces I realized that they did not know. 

When I was patronizing reading the horoscope, I realized that though Dr.Krishnan's readings came true for others his predictions did not materialize for me. Asking him about the possibility that the predictions might not take place, he answered that "Yes, if there were curses hurled at us." Asking him to look into my charts for them, he replied that only the Siddhas could reveal them in the Nadi reading. That was my very first introduction to the Siddhas. After 6 years my colleague spoke about his experience reading his Nadi right here in Petaling Jaya a satellite town bordering Kuala Lumpur. I was thrilled to the core to learn that the Siddhas could tell about our past, present, and future. He checked to see if the Nadi reader he met 2 years back was still in town. I was in luck. He made the appointment for me to see my Nadi. Agathiyar in the reading asked me to come to the path. Hence my journey started with the Siddhas in 2002. He sent me on a pilgrimage to temples to settle my scores in my past lives. He asked me to include the Siddhas in my worship of the other deities. Meanwhile, I did my homework learning to know about the Siddhas, reading books, and visiting the movements registered under Agathiyar's name. The following year, I left for India to carry out the remedies. 

In 2005 he showed me to Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram who directed me to a Nadi reader for my second Nadi reading that was called by Agathiyar when I turned 45, having mentioned it in 2002. I left for India again on the directive of Agathiyar and spent my time traveling with Tavayogi. From then on I had Agathiyar and the other Siddhas guide me further through their Aasi Nadi and Tavayogi through telephone calls and whenever he visited Malaysia. In 2009 Agathiyar told me to commission his bronze statue. He arrived on our shores to mark his Jayanthi celebrations on 2 January 2010. From my family and a handful of friends, the number of devotees who came by grew with Agathiyar sending out the word of our Pornami puja in their Nadi readings. Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) sprang up. Agathiyar had us engage in social work too. Finally, he winded up the group  in 2019 and had them all go their way, arming them with the rituals and yoga practices.

Recently he called them back to find out what they had done with their lives in these past 5 years. He was disappointed and voiced it out. He asked us why we came to the Siddhas (in the first place)? By somehow or some means they did come to worship the Siddhas. But it stood at just that - worship. I understood what Agathiyar meant. He wanted them to go beyond worship. Coming to the Siddhas does not end with reading the Nadi, carrying out remedies for past karma, and worshipping the Siddhas nor going to places of worship associated with them. There is more to it that these devotees did not venture to find out or know. They stopped short of consulting the Nadi for their needs. They merely replaced temple worship and home worship of deities, Gods, and Goddesses with the Siddhas. Agathiyar wants us to give back to the family and society. He wants us to spread the word. He wants each home to become Agathiyar Vanam. For this to take place, they must be seen to practice what was taught and given in the very first place. These practices shall bring on internal transformations in them and those around them. They will soon raise themselves to the state of a Siddha too, if not now in a future birth. 

Who is a Siddha then? A quick search on the net brings these up.

• The Siddhar (Tamil (romanized) cittar, from Sanskrit siddha) in Tamil tradition is a perfected individual who has attained spiritual powers called siddhi. It means "one who is accomplished." It refers to perfected masters who have achieved a high degree of perfection of the intellect as well as liberation or enlightenment. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siddha)
• A perfected being. The siddha has worked out all past karma and freed himself from entanglement in the world of maya. (https://www.ananda.org/yogapedia/siddha/)
• Siddha is a Tamil word that may be translated to mean "perfected one" and refers to someone who is accomplished. (https://www.yogapedia.com/definition/5361/siddha)
• A siddha (Sanskrit: Meaning, "one who is accomplished") refers to perfected spiritual masters who have transcended the ahamkara (ego, or I-maker) and transformed themselves into spiritual beings.(https://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/Siddha)
• A siddha in Sanskrit means "one who is accomplished" and refers to perfected masters who according to Hindu belief have transcended the ahamkara (ego or I-maker), have subdued their minds to be subservient to their Awareness, and have transformed their bodies composed mainly of dense Rajo-tama gunas into a different kind of bodies dominated by sattva. This is usually accomplished only by persistent meditation over many lifetimes. A siddha has also been defined to refer to one who has attained a siddhi. The siddhis as paranormal abilities are considered emergent abilities of an individual that is on the path to siddhahood, and do not define a siddha, who is established in the Pranav - the Aum, which is the spiritual substrate of creation. The siddhi in its pure form means "the attainment of flawless identity with Reality (Brahman); perfection of Spirit." (https://www.bionity.com/en/encyclopedia/Siddha.html)

But what have the Siddhas to say of themselves? One has to identify a Siddha first. He has to come up to them and be accepted in their fold. He has to walk along with them to know. Since it is not possible to live in their environment being householders, one has to usher and bring them into his home. He has to build a rapport with them. He has to take up their teachings, instructions, advice, directives, and suggestions, and take up the method, way, and practices. Only then shall he see the fruits of his labor. Only then shall he see the internal changes take place. But many stop short of worshiping them. In worship, they shall gain their blessings in all their endeavors for the Siddha shall not stand in their way. But a true devotee would want to know what the Siddha would like for him. His wants, wishes, and desires are substituted by those of the Siddhas. He lives not for himself but to please the Siddhas. When we offer ourselves to them they offer themselves in multifold. Nay they offer the entire Prapanjam. What more do we want? 

As Agathiyar asked, we need to know why we came to the Siddhas. Reading up their 5 tenets to mankind will shed some light. Knowing our purpose in the eyes of the Siddhas shall bring us there. Sharing one's experiences shall bring others to the fold too. This is the only service one can do in return for their kindness and guidance. In doing their asking and bringing on the desired changes and transformation within and without they shall bring on the grace of the divine that shall further transform us. The divine grace shall do wonders. You only need to sit back and watch the magic unfold. 

JOINING THE ALUMNI

The Siddha doctrine is pretty simple just as Agathiyar says the Siddha way too is simple. A task, practice, or technique is given initially. Once it has been fulfilled or has seen results it is dropped and another undertaken. Those who are unwilling to let go remain in the said state to harvest the attention, respect, and financial returns if any, that they clamor for, or remain behind to teach others. But in our greediness for authority and power, we tend to remain in the spot fearing that people shall leave us, and we shall be a nobody. Man generally seeks attention. Rarely do we come by a person who keeps to himself and away from gaining attention. Those who let go are led further into unchartered territories as Ramalinga Adigal says. One eventually comes to see the Self. Knowing it he can safely fall back to the many previous practices for it shall not in any way disrupt his journey. He stands above and beyond Karma. He is then a Siddha. 

Agathiyar is playing his game to sieve out and show me his true devotees as I had lamented to him asking why they do not come to such a beautiful and simple path and if they do, why do not they stay long. I came to understand that they want to be associated with some guru or movement and to visit occasionally but never with the intention to pursue the path and the teachings for the material world either lures them more or they are trapped with responsibilities, ties, bonds, and attachments from which they cannot break free. Their soul is shackled for the moment. For those who break the shackles of their soul or Atma, their very Atma shows them the path to take further. Agathiyar says that our decisions are that of the Atma and that Atma belongs to him. உங்களுடைய முடிவு உங்களின் ஆன்மாவையே சார்ந்தது. அந்த ஆன்மா என்னையே சார்ந்தது. We are assured that each decision taken is his for there is an experience to be gained and a lesson learned from taking this decision. With practice, a man who knows his Atma and listens to it will tend to make wise decisions. 

Agathiyar says that the breath or Uyir merges in the Atma and reaches Agathiyan as Jothi. உயிராகியது ஆன்மா வோடு கலந்து ஜோதிநிலையில் எம்மை வந்து அடையும். Using the breath that carries Prana within, to fan the initial spark of divinity or Agni Jwalai in us, aided by the tools and with adherence and practice, it begins to fan the spark to burn in all its splendor and effulgence finally becoming Sivam or Arutperunjothi.

Thus it is the Atma that comes as an internal guru, watching over our thoughts and actions silently, initially. When an external guru comes to awaken it, it knows its true nature, strength and its purpose and it gains Atma Balam or Soul Power and admonishes the Ego that held reign in us, subduing it and having it surrender to it. The Atma shows the way to rid the past Karma that decided our fate and charts a new destiny. The Atma's search to know its purpose intensifies, ignoring all other attention-seeking distractions.

ஆன்மாவே உனது கர்ம வினையைச் சரிசெய்வதற்கு உதவி புரியும். கர்மவை சரி செய்த பின், ஆன்மாவின் தேடல் அதிகமாகி மனிதனின் அன்றாட தேடல் தீர்ந்து போகும். அவன் தேடல் முழுதாய் என்னையே தேடி வர முயற்சி செய்யும்.

Why then were we not aware of our Atma all these while? It is a part of the divine play says Agathiyar. The Atma that originates in the realm of the divine known as Paramatma comes as the Jeevatma to set karma into motion and play and the process of karma takes its course and fate unfolds. It initiates and cares for the new life that is taking shape in the mother's womb, hovering and staying with the Pindam and Uyir for a period of time that Agathiyar says is between 1 and 5 Varahai, a period used in the ancient days that I have yet to find an equivalent terminology or reference to present times. 

If the above revelation was dictated to a devotee some time back, the following is a conversation with Agathiyar recently. Since Agathiyar lamented to us asking how many times must he stuff the Atma into a body, meaning look for a fitting birth, I asked him when an Atma is inserted into the body. He replies.

"At fertilization. How can the fetus come about on its own? The Atma determines the blastocyst. The Atma comes as a result of the karma. A fetus is a result of its karma. It takes a body according to its karma. The Atma delivers the fetus accordingly. Do you understand? All this is fated. To whom one is born and when..... "

ஒரு ஆன்மா எப்போது உடலில் புகுத்தப்படுகிறது ?

கரு உருவாகும் பொழுது. பிண்டம் மட்டும் எப்படி வரும்? ஆன்மா இருந்தால் தானே கரு வரும்? இந்த ஆன்மா இதற்கு முன் செய்த கர்ம தானே. அதன் கர்மதால் அதற்கேற்ற பிண்டம் எடுக்கிறது. அந்த ஆன்மா வருகிறது, கர்மத்திற்கு ஏற்ப உடல் (எடுக்கிறது). புரிந்தது? இதையெல்லாம் விதிக்கப்பட்டது. இவர் இன்னார் வயிற்று  தனிலே, எப்போது ஜனித்து அருள வேண்டும். 

The Atma keeps both the Udal and Uyir under its grip then. But the Atma soon loses its grip and hold on us. Although Agathiyar said he could not reveal the reason for the Atma to be veiled, after several readings we figured out its reason. His or her "I" comes to the forefront pushing the Atma behind the veil. It is an eye-opener to note that the "I" comes later to send the Atma behind the veil. 

ஆன்மா உடலையும் உயிரையும் தனது கட்டுப்பாட்டுக்குள் வைத்துக் கொள்ளும் ஒரு சூச்சமம். இந்தச் சூச்சமத்தை பிறந்த குழந்தைகள் 1 முதல் 5 வராகை வரையிலும் உடன் இருந்து மறையும். மறைத்தலின் காரணம் இன்னதென்று இப்போது உனக்குச் சொல்ல இயலாது. 

But Agathiyar adds that the Atma makes its presence known depending on his or her actions. I believe when karma asserts itself, life takes its toll and he or she is lost for a solution and surrenders to the divine, the Atma re-appears to help him or her out.

ஆனபோதிலும் ஆன்ம ஒருவரின் செயலைப் பொறுத்தே மீண்டும் அவனை வந்து சேரும். ஆன்மா உன்னோடு இருந்து உன்னை ஒரு பாதைக்கு இழுத்து செல்லும் அப்போது நீ அதனை உணர்ந்தாள், உன்னில் அதிர்வாய் தோன்றி மறையும். அந்த அதிர்வினை நீ உனக்குள் நீடிக்கப் பழகினால் உன்னால் ஆன்மா என்னும் உனது அதிர்வுகளில் ஊடுருவி என்னுள் (இறை / அகத்தியன்) வந்து சேர ஒரு வழி.

We are a product of this vast Prapanjam. We start in it and with it and end in it. The Pranavayu that is in the breath or Uyir too, is akin to the petrol in a vehicle that is needed to drive us around making purchases, primarily drives our body moving the limbs that are otherwise motionless, to execute the thoughts and its respective actions to fruition. But its role begins even much earlier. The Pranavayu is the primary cause of the conception of an embryo and later into a fetus and a baby and remains lifelong. The Pranavayu that flows in with the elements or tattvas from both the parents moves these elements to come together as a lump or mass or Pindam that has the potential to become life. Air is breathed into the Pindam. Life is hence given to the embryo.

பிறக்கும் சிசு கருவுற மூலமாக இருப்பது பிராணவாயு. பிராணவாயு ஆணின் அணுக்களிலும் பெண்ணின் அணுக்களிலும் ஊடுருவி ஒன்றெனக் கலந்து பிரதான பொருள் வடிவம் அடையும் தன்மை உண்டானால் அங்கு உயிர் சக்தி உருவேற்ற படுகிறது.

Thus as we were assembled from the elements or Tatvas that maketh the Prapanjam, we shall return to it after gaining the experience and lessons that she teaches us. The Prapanjam thus is enriched with our input too. It is truly a source of information and holds the answers to all questions and doubts. The Siddhas knew how to harness them for good use by gaining membership into the club, the lineage, or alumni Prapanjam Inc. They became Prapanjam itself. Being the insider now they could help us gain membership into Prapanjam. The Prapanjam then comes to our aid too.

USE THE CHANCE

The internal cleansing is going on apparently. I had to throw up phlegm, bile, and wind and my bowels hurt so much that I purged. It was very much similar to the time I took "Agathiyar Kuzhambu" back then. It was nauseous and both the hands became numb for some time. It went on for some 1 1/2 hours beginning at 12 midnight. 

The swirling and wet sensation in the crown of my head goes on daily. The sensations of sudden chillness that come on with connecting to the Prapajam happen regularly too. As foretold by Agathiyar I tend to lose the sensation of my hands and body in those moments of observing my breath. It seems like only my awareness of the breath exists in these brief moments. There is still much work to do here. I need to prolong these wonderful moments as Agathiyar, Ramalinga Adigal, and Tavayogi say.

A teacher can teach a technique en masse but it needs the perseverance of the student to achieve or see results. Though the master gets to correct and fine-tune his student's practice when he comes back again weekly or monthly to assemble and perform before the master, the student should make it a habit just like everything else he does. Observing his speedy progress the guru would then switch the techniques or mantra to suit his current state. Tavayogi in giving my wife and me and 6 others initiation into Agathiyar's mantra gave me another with his mere touch after Agathiyar directed me to see him again for another initiation in the Nadi just before he left for India. Following him a month later I spent time with him in his Kallar ashram and traveling to the caves and jungles as directed by Agathiyar. Agathiyar upon my arrival apparently had asked him what he was going to give me. On our way back from traveling to the Siddha abodes I told Tavayogi that this journey should not be like any a tourist undertakes. I told him I needed something to work on when I returned. He initiated me into observing the Vaasi or breath. Once back Agathiyar and the other Siddhas came regularly in the Nadi to guide me further. After Tavayogi's samadhi, and in the absence of the Nadi readers, Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal come through devotees to guide.

But what is of utmost importance is for us to carry out each task or practice or advice given. Otherwise, all their efforts in wanting to elevate us to a higher level of consciousness and a more subtle and pure body would just go to waste. They might never come our way again. You have but only one chance for now. Use it wisely.

LOVE WINS EVENTUALLY

Watching the ending moments in the movie "Kushi" made me remember Agathiyar's words to us as a family recently. The story about a believer and an atheist and their ways of exerting the principles they held on to in other's lives including their children comes to a compromise where each male parent lays down his principles for the welfare and good of their children.

The young man's father: "Don't worry. I shall complete the Homam however long (the rain) takes (to stop). I would lose out to you. You shall be the winner. It is not a big deal. But my son shall be fine. That is enough."

The young girl's father: "When your son came to my home and told me he shall follow what I had asked him to do (lighting the Homam), I was not thinking about my victory. I saw the love your son had for my daughter. Even now when you entered the temple and stood before me giving in to my wishes to conduct the Homam, I did not think about my victory. I only saw the love you had for your son. While fighting over my shastras or over your principles, we forget that we are humans. What is the point?  Before I could call it off, God intervened (as rain) and called it off. He will take care of both our kids."

I am reminded of how the temple priests I consulted over my daughter's wedding guided us wonderfully. Since they had loved each other he told me the horoscope was not important, as their Manam or hearts had merged in union. It was always fated he said. Beyond this, "Leave it to God" he said.

The young man tells his wife, "If this oblation can settle our love, I would have agreed to do it long back. I wanted both of us to overcome all these and become stronger."

She poses a question to him. "What do you mean by strong? Is it only to threaten or split ways each time we have a fight? Fights will happen. Being strong means we shall be together even in a fight. It might be a fight to you, but it was a show of love. We are girls. When we cannot voice out certain things to our fathers and husbands, we look up to God. We tell him. Yet I left that God whom I loved and cherished for you. Where shall I go if you ask me to leave." 

"I am still learning (the lessons of life)", answers the young man. "Let us demonstrate to the world so that they shall say that there is no couple as loving as us. Let us prove it."

Earlier when the young man submits to attend the Homam and requests his father to come, the father refuses telling him to forget his wife. The young man places a question to his father asking him why he held on to his mother who believed in temples and rituals when they knew pretty well that she did not support him as an atheist for 30 years. The father answered that she was his wife and that he loved her. 

Agathiyar told me and my wife all the above and asked my children to carry out our 60th wedding soon. We should be an exemplary couple he said.

மண வாழ்க்கை என்றால் என்ன?

What is married life?

இரு ஆத்மா ஒன்றாகிறது.

Two souls come together (in matrimony).

இதற்கு வேறு அனுபவம் இருக்கும். அதற்கு வேறு.

This (soul) shall have had a unique experience. The other something else.

இருவரும் கலந்து... அதில் அழகான குடும்பம் வரும்... இரு குடும்பம் சங்கமம் ஆகும்... உங்களின் பக்தி, அனுபவம் அவர்கள் கற்பிப்பார்.

In coming together... a beautiful family emerges... two families come together...they shall learn about your devotion and experiences. 

மண வாழ்க்கை என்பது அழகான வாழ்க்கை.

A married life is a beautiful life.

மண வாழ்க்கையில் பல ஞானம் உண்டு. அதிக ஞானம் பிறக்கும். அந்த அனுபவம் வரும் பொழுது உணர்வீர்கள்.

There is much Gnanam to be gained in a married life. Much Gnanam shall dawn. You will understand when you come to experience them.

உங்களுக்கு எல்லாம் நன்றாகத்தான் அமையும்.

It will turn out good for all of you.

ஏன் என்றால் குழந்தையிலே வந்துவிட்டாய் அல்லவா? 

Because you have come (to the path) as a child.

அழகாக இருக்கும்.

It would be beautiful.

புரிந்துணர்வு. இருவரும் ஒன்று இணைந்து இறைவனை வணங்குவது. ஒரு சமுதாயத்தை சீர்படுத்துகிறீர்கள். அந்த குழந்தைகள் பெரிதாகி ... அது தலைமுறையாக வரும்... அழகான வாழ்க்கை இது.

Understanding (between life partners). Both coming in unison in prayer to God. You tend to transform a society. When these children grow up.. it becomes a generation... living a beautiful life.

என்னை பற்றினாள், கணவனை விட்டு, மனைவியை விட்டு, விலகிவிடுவார்கள். இது என்ன நியாயம்? நான் மனைவி உடன் தானே உள்ளேன். என்னடா வீண் பலி என் மீது? நான் என்ன கொடூரமானவனா? பிரிப்பேனா? வீண் பழி போடாதீர்கள் என் மேலே.

(It is generally believed that) If you come to me (my path), the husband has to leave or the wife has to leave. What utter nonsense is this? It is unfair. I too am with my wife (Lobama). Why accuse me unjustly? Am I such a monster? To separate couples. Do not accuse me.

என்ன நடந்தாலும் இருவரும் ஒன்றாக சமாளிப்பது. இறைவனை ஒன்றாக நாடுவது. அது ஒரு அழகிய பயணம். ஒன்றாக முதுமையில். கிடைக்கும் அந்த அன்பு. அந்த பரிமாணம். அது வேறு. உனக்கு நான், எனக்கு நீ. நாம் இருவருக்கும் அகத்தியன்.

Whatever happens, a couple sailing through it together. Both seeking God together. Aging together. The love that blossoms together. That platform is entirely different. It is indeed a beautiful journey. You for me, me for you. Agathiyan for both of us.

அடுத்த தலைமுறைகள் உருவாக்க வேண்டும் அல்லவா?

We need to work on the next generation right?

எவ்வளவு அழகான வாழ்க்கை இது.

What a beautiful life.

இவர்களின் வாழ்க்கை பயணமே உதாரணம். எவ்வளவு போராட்டம் உங்களுக்குள். (இருப்பினும்) எவ்வளவு அனுசரிதல். எவ்வளவு விட்டு கொடுத்தால். இதுதான் அழகான உதாரணம்.. எவ்வளவு அன்பான வாழ்க்கை பயணம்.... முதுமை பெற்ற உன் வாழ்க்கை.

Your life journey should be an example. So much of giving in though facing battles. So much tolerance. This is a beautiful example. What a loving journey. Aging graciously. 

60ம் திருமணம் செய்யலாமா? 

Shall we conduct your 60th wedding?

செய்யுங்கள். ஆம் செய்து ஆகவேண்டும். இவ்வருடம் செய்யுங்கள். (இது) முன் உதாரணம் (ஆக இருக்கட்டும்). இதை செய்யுங்கள். 

Do it. You must do it. Do it this year. Be an exemplary couple. 

60ம் திருமணம் எதற்கு என்றால் அனோனியமாக உள்ளார்கள், இதை பார்த்து நீங்களும் வாருங்கள், என்று அர்த்தம். வீண் செலவு அல்ல.

The reason for conducting the 60th wedding is to show others how close you are and bring them to live like you. It is not waste of money.

அதற்கு தான் இதை செய்ய சொல்கிறோம். உணர்வார்கள் மற்றவர்கள், அந்நியோன்னத்தை கண்டு நாங்களும் இப்படி இருக்க வேண்டும் (என்று). 

That is why I am asking you to do it. Others would understand the importance of living together through thick and thin and till the last days. 

உங்களை கண்டு அவர்களுக்கும் ஒரு லட்சியம் வரும். நாமும் முதுமை ஆனால் இவர்களை போல் இருக்க வேண்டும் (என்று). மக்கள் அப்படி சொல்ல வாழ வேண்டும்.

Seeing you both they too would resolve to live like you. They should desire "One should be like them". One should live to hear people say that.

மக்களுக்கு உதாரணமாக இருங்கள்.

Be an example to others.

இது மறக்க முடியாத ஒரு அனுபவமாக இருக்கும்.

This would be an unforgettable experience.

நீ மாப்பிள்ளை. முதுமை அடையவில்லை. எவ்வளவு அழாகான வாழ்கை தெரியுமா? இது எல்லாம் யாருக்கு கிட்டும்? உங்களுக்கு கிட்டும்.

You are the groom. Still youthful. Do you know what a wonderful life it is? Who would get to live this life? You have it.

THE DIVINE PLAY

In the beginning years of my worship of the Siddhas, from 2002, it was rather quiet on the front with me reciting their names and singing a couple of songs in praise of them while adopting the usual rituals in worship of the Gods and deities. My family came after Tavayogi in 2005 asked that I include them too. He started us by lighting the Homam or oblation. Agathiyar started us with an Abhisegam or libation to his bronze statue that he had me commission and make in Swamimalai and delivered in 2010. A small group of family and friends gathered to usher his arrival and he began to visit their homes too where puja was conducted. Tavayogi would come by and fine-tune the rituals further whenever he visited Malaysia. It was during one of his visits that a seeker whom I was soon to discover was lost turned up for puja. But he chose to stay out of the puja and the conversations with Tavayogi. Soon he frequented my place and revealed his life story beginning with his search that took him to America and several other masters and places in Malaysia. He seemed badly bruised and hurt by his experiences. As me and my wife were new to the worship and were only too eager to listen and help out, we got bitten when his wife accused us asking, "What did you do to him?" for he ended up leaving the doors and windows of his home open all night long and staring at the moon. 

Turning to Tavayogi and asking him over the phone why was all this happening, we got a scolding from him. He asked me why I had to involve? Rather he said I should have pointed him to Agathiyar. It was Agathiyar's game we came to know eventually. Though Agathiyar had told me that he would come in me and my soul would transmigrate into his bronze statue for some time the day after he arrived from India for his Jayanthi puja at my home, and would walk and speak to those gathered in my physical form, this was our very first encounter in seeing Agathiyar in action coming through a person in flesh to heal. He "exorcised" him and freed him from the blockages within that were a result of his visitation and practices picked up from the numerous centers and masters. Though he had gone back to work since then and they lived happily ever after, we were terrified and begged that it should stop. Agathiyar listened at least for that moment. But he kept sending over strangers who stood at our door. He dealt with their problems and sent them back without any harm to me and my family. With the coming of many more seekers and curious onlookers who turned devotees, the divine energies continued to stage their play in my home. He made me realize and accept that he was only using me and others and our venues to help those whom he had summoned over for various reasons only he knew. Once he asked me where would I go if he were to turn a deaf ear to my problems. It was an awakening of sorts for me then. Lord Murugan coming through the Nadi asked that I step aside and let them carry on their divine play or Leela. Indeed the moment I took heed of his requests and opened up both my heart and my home, all heaven broke loose. At the end of the day, there were no casualties but only bliss in some and satisfaction in others.

The Siddha path has been made to look like a religious institution by many. It is contrary to that. Testing me if I would build a temple too for the Siddhas like others, Agathiyar seeing my reluctance tells me that the temple that he and Lord Murugan requested in respective Nadi readings in 2002 and in 2018 was in reality my home AVM. They have brought out the real image of the Siddhas and the path that has been shrouded in mystery and kept aloft and difficult to come by to the masses by some. Today Agathiyar tells us that the path is accessible to all and that there are no gatekeepers to stop those who want to gatecrash and take on the journey while living with their family, children, and relatives, and living in the community and society. Their divine play still goes on. We are asked to just watch. 

LIVING THE LIFE

If I had been writing about what I had read previously, Agathiyar had me write about my experiences. Having us walk the phases of Sariyai, Kriyai, and Yogam he now brings us Gnanam that transforms our thoughts and understanding. Now he comes personally to give us Gnanam. In dishing out Gnanam to us Agathiyar is giving us bitter pills to swallow. If Tavayogi kept breaking my hold on things including my attachment to him, Agathiyar is doing the same breaking the time-held traditions and beliefs too. He is having us see it in a new light. I guess this is what enlightenment is all about, seeing the mountain from a different perspective as the reformed watcher, having gone through the turmoil of the spiritual path. Though we understand what he is bringing us to, much of what he says cannot be shared as it would bring about confusion among those who merely watch and have not tracked the path. Each has to walk the path to come to an understanding. Merely reading books and even these posts and blog, would not make us a Siddha. Much of what is experienced cannot be translated into words or explained. One has to live these experiences. And each's experience is different. We have to live the way to see the truth that unfolds. I guess this is what prompts many to take up the path, living the way, following a guru. Here is where ashrams came about into being. But where do you go in these times to further your spiritual knowledge and quench your thirst?  True gurus are a rarity these days. Many take to the net. But an online guru would not be responsible to you if you mess up your life following him. Such men who truly are yearning to know are truly in a dilemma. I guess this is the reason Agathiyar came to us after the demise of Tavayogi. He now speaks to us through devotees for "How else am I going to talk to you" he asks.

In having us throw out what we had learned back then from books, and others, and after filling us with Siddha stuff only to have us drop that too, and now comes to rewrite the whole thing from a different context, I am beginning to wonder what is this game of depending on others to solve our problems? I am beginning to wonder what is this game of having others bring on the bliss within? What then is this game of having us drown in rituals? What is this game of having seekers gaze at the flame of an oil lamp or frown upon a point in the forehead or other spots, all about? All these are to bring the Manam or our state of mind and all its activities to a closure. When this happens nothing is important or required further. The mind that is so used to holding on to thoughts and actions has to be freed. Lord Murugan came to remind me of a verse from Agathiyar's song "Manamathu Semmai Aanal" which speaks on this. This is "Summa Erupathu", the state of Sivam. The energies that are Sakti coil up and retreat back to their source, returning to the state of the unborn just as we were in our mother's womb Samadhi. And so too they have left me free to do nothing. 

APPROACHING JOURNEY'S END

The Siddhas introduce us to or rather help us connect to the Prapanjam. Agathiyar in telling us that he was the Prapanjam and that the Prapanjam was in him, had Ramalinga Adigal connect us to it by bringing its force within us initially and leaving us to connect with it further. In connecting with it we become a part of it, feeling it, seeing it, hearing it, smelling and tasting it with our senses. We feel the rainfalls, the showering of plants and libation to statues as taking a bath or shower. We feel the food that we take and ingest feeding, providing and satisfying, every atom in us and every being out there. We feel the music or noise for the matter bring extreme joy and bliss shaking our very core and bringing on tears or irritate us in the latter, moved by the vibration it produces. We feel the love, anger, fear and emotions in others and begin to feel them too. We see the world around us literally in a different light as if the floodlights are on even in bright daylight. We smell the breeze, the rain showers, the smell of earth, the aroma in the air, etc bringing us to an elated state of consciousness. 

With the body made of earth and water as a vehicle and tool, and the breath as a vehicle carrying Prana from all around us, adding on to that which comes from a dip in the stream or river, a shower, the rain, the sun, and the food, we move towards developing the inner heat or Agni Jwalai using this breath and eventually rising to the state of Tava Kanal or fire of austerity in us to become a part of the space or ether or Shivam hence completing the journey. The breath acts on the fire within us as a blacksmith's bellow blowing air adding on to the heat of Tava Kanal, bringing the small spark of fire Agni Jwalai to burn majestically within. This Agni Jwalai brings us eventually to the state of Sivam or space or emptiness or void or Vethavezhi. Agathiyar in explaining this process has Ramalinga Adigal come by and pass on this initial heat and have us work on it further. 

THE GOOD SHEPPARD

Those who choose to believe in God, gain strength in all their endeavors in God, and turn to him for guidance and blessings. For those who choose to remain with what they took on and came for in running families and businesses and holding on to careers and society and its wants, they chase their dreams and give back to society in multiple ways. They worship God in temples and homes, offering him what they can afford in return for his blessings in life. They remain satisfied and seek no further.

Then there are others who choose to take up and fulfill their inner yearnings to know God personally going beyond forms and images. They try all means to connect and be with God. They came to gurus who generally are believed to have been there and back. While many remain loyal, some get hurt and leave. Some begin to recoil and seclude themselves. Some get back to their old ways. 

Beyond these gurus in physical forms are the Siddhas. The Siddhas though one with creation chose to either remain behind to help the rest of us achieve that state or come from their position to help us as and when needed or called out for. They identify the candidates who are ready to be molded. While some are willing to board the train many feel that they have other matters and responsibilities to take care of and obligations or are not lured as yet and jump off the moving train. To those few who stay on the doors open wide, and they arrive at the next station. Picking up some sights, insights, and experiences in this small town they board the train again for the next station, and so on and so forth till they arrive at the destination that is waiting in this life. 

Life is so full of choices but one has to know about the options available. It has to interest him or her. Some are forcefully forced into it or have no other choice. Whatever your reasons and choices there is a slight dash of past Karma in it too I believe. One's desires and wants too, play a major role in shaping our destiny. Life can either be as simple or complicated as we make it out to be for he learns to see and feel the world and that eventually has a deep impact on him even later in life. One is rarely pulled by the divinity immediately upon coming into this world. Those who come young are indeed divine souls that need only remove the last few links in the chain before the soul is set free from taking on more births. 

It is the soul's journey truly but we mistake it thinking it is Shanmugam Avadaiyappa's or your journey. Eventually, this truth is made known by the guru. In knowing the soul and freeing it the journey comes to an end. In dropping the identification one loses his individuality. So what is this that we are given honorary titles and spiritual titles only to pull us down and hold us back further? When Agathiyar tells us what should remain is only the awareness of the breath why do we add on to the existing tattvas that already hold us back? The idea here is to drop and not accumulate. It is to negate till what remains is the void or space or emptiness. 

All things said we are still vomiting the experiences of Siddhas and saints having mostly read about them or in rare cases having journeyed with them. How many gurus produce other gurus out of the students? They do all things possible to remain in the limelight taking credit for all the hard work that goes behind the screen made possible by the continuous dedication and efforts of their students. Sadly students and disciples remain as students and disciples till the end. A Siddha would initiate, nurture, and have his disciples grow reaching the zenith, and never settle for him to keep worshipping and serving them for life. A Siddha's achievement lies in making others an equal. They work tirelessly towards this. We at AVM are testimony to seeing their commitment wanting to break and remake us into a vessel appropriate to take on the many challenges and transformations that come with this growth. This is the reason the Siddhas do not have a following for each follower is made another Siddha sooner or later in this birth or coming births. Those who are touched by the Siddhas eventually make it having dropped the 16 phases spoken of by Ramalinga Adigal which is commonly accepted as Sariyai, Kriyai, Yogam, and Gnanam. A Siddha giving them varied experiences would herd them onto greener terrains to know themselves and free their souls, never having them remain longer than needed in each phase. In coming to us Agathiyar has broken all the rules in the book, for he says the old ways are too difficult to adopt in this age. He has simplified the means and the way for us to attain a state that he deems fit for us. We are glad that the good shepherd came along and herded us along for otherwise we too would be a lost sheep.

SONGS THAT ELEVATE THE SOUL

An ardent reader and follower of this blog, a great devotee, and a good friend, though we never met,  from Chennai contributed to this piece. Read on.

Why is music the soul of the heart? Good music once heard gets murmured again and again in the subconscious mind. Good songs stay back in memory and are remembered as notes with the lyrics decorating them. Whatever music our soul likes, reflects our nature or the wants of our soul. Maybe that is why the Nayanmars, always kept on singing about the divine and his love to show their thirst towards him. Does this thirst reach our dad? Does he acknowledge it?

The answer to this question is yes but not just the music, the words. He acknowledges the emotion - the thirst with which the song is being sung. The Pathigams sung by the Nayanmars do not just have the objective of reaching him. They have sung Pathigams whenever they face any challenges or troubles. They even sang those Pathigams for the want of some specific blessings for the devotees whom they came across. But do we ever ponder, why those Pathigams for those specific circumstances are recited even today?

Have we ever realized that these Pathigams which were sung 1000 years ago, are still fulfilling the wishes of those who recite it even today. This is not because those Pathigams are sung by great saints or because it is like mantras. Whenever we recite those Pathigams with the same selfless emotion or thirst with which it was sung, it reaches him. The divine acknowledges the emotion and grants our boon. Even when the Pathigams are recited for the needs of one’s life, it is granted because our saints wrote it for our real needs and not for greedy ones and that is being projected by our thirst. In short, whenever we listen to or sing Pathigams, verses, or even slokas we tune into the FM of God. We vibrate with the energy of Nayanmars, Alwars, our guru and we become them instantly. We should remember they were in tune with God. We become God. We become HIM.

Here is another way of songs elevating the soul. When one wears a colored glass, everything around him seems to be that color. Similarly, for a soul which is having immense love for god and is obsessed with god, every song can become a Pathigam or a song to tune into Him.

Love is a true emotion, a nature of our soul. It can be selfless or selfish. But it is a strong emotion. It grows even stronger when there is a yearning. If it becomes yearning towards Him, then it makes a spiritual fall over the soul making it ever happy. The fall makes us relate to him even through songs that elucidate this yearning between a lover and his soul mate. It opens as an exposition of our yearning towards God. I call this yearning or love as Kadhal to God, a longing to unite with the supreme bright light which we have departed a long time before still guiding us, as a sun standing far away beyond the sky still giving us warmth.

Singing or listening to even film love songs in memory of Appa, may be one of the most childish acts that can be done. Still, our magnanimous Appa accepts and even acknowledges such childish acts. I am happy to share some of the lyrics(songs) which I personally devote to him.

“நீதானே நீதானே

என் நரம்புக்குள் ஓடினாய்

நீ ஓடும் பாதை

என் நெஞ்சமோ உன்

சுவடுகள் வலிப்பது

கொஞ்சமோ ஹே என்

விழியின் கருமணியில்

தேடிப்பார் உன் காலடி

தடங்களை காட்டுமே

பிரபஞ்ச ரகசியம்

புரிந்ததே உன் சிறை

என்னும் பிரிவில்

தெரிந்ததே விபத்துக்கள்

எனக்குள் நடக்கவே உன்

நினைவுகள் தப்பி செல்ல

வலிக்குதே

ஒரு கனம்

சாகிறேன் மறு கனம்

வாழ்கிறேன் இரண்டுக்கும்

நடுவிலே நீதானே”

This is mainly to insist that he keeps running as thoughts in my nerves and filling the space of my atma.

“நீ இன்றி நானும்

இல்லை என் காதல்

பொய்யும் இல்லை வழி

எங்கும் உந்தன் முகம் தான்

வலி கூட இங்கே சுகம் தான்

தொடுவானம் சிவந்து

போகும் தொலை தூரம் குறைந்து

போகும் கரைகின்ற நொடிகளில்

நான் நெருங்கி வந்தேனே

இனி உன்னை பிரிய

மாட்டேன் தொலை தூரம்

நகர மாட்டேன் முகம் பார்க்க

தவிக்கிறேன் என் இனிய பூங்காற்றே

விரலோடு விழியும்

வாடும் விரைகின்ற காலும்

நோகும் இருந்தாலும் வருகிறேன்

உன் மடியில் நான் தூங்க”

This second song I devote to telling him I am crossing all these lives just to meet him and to tell him I am not I am without him.

What makes us motivated towards the divine is his presence which he shows to us, especially in a very personal way. It differs from person to person. He doesn’t use the same method for everyone. In that way, I am sharing a small experience that I had in the way of devoting such songs to him and him in turn accepting it.

For me divine is “APPA”, for his love, guidance, and of course for the unique love of a father to his daughter. He had been through all my distressed times. He had made me smile back after a long period of suffering. When I had thought I had fallen in a ditch, he had raised me on his shoulders to make me stand high for this world to see. He had been my biggest moral support and the most understanding soul mate during all the tough times when people around me just found faults in my decisions. He eventually changed my situation, and my life and brought the real nature of “soul”, so that I cross my tough times easily. I have realized him as my Dad or Appa. There is a very popular song that depicts the love of a stranger as a Father to his adopted daughter from the movie “Ennai Arindhal”, where he consoles the little girl to forget the grief of her dead mother. It reminded me only of Appa who took care of me during those tough times. But a small thought came to my mind insisting that it is Appa who has to think of giving that song to me. Still, I convinced myself that it may not be possible, so enjoyed the entire song and video in his memory.

“உனக்கென்ன வேணும் சொல்லு…

உலகத்தைக் காட்டச் சொல்லு…

புது இடம் புது மேகம்…

தேடிப் போவோமே…

உலகென்னும் பரமபதம்…

விழுந்தபின் உயா்வு வரும்…

நினைத்தது நினையாதது…

சோ்க்கப் போறோமே…

எனக்கென உன்னைத் தந்து…

உனக்கிருக் கண்ணைத் தந்து…

அதன் வழி எனது கனா…

காணச் சொல்லியதே…

நீ அடம் பிடித்தாலும்…

அடங்கிப் போகின்றேன்…

உன் மடி மெத்தை மேல்…

மடங்கிக் கொள்கின்றேன்…”

After a few days, I had a dream, in which I saw Appa. I was very worried about my mother’s health. He had come to convince me of it. My mother and I were standing at my home under his photo. When I saw him, he started smiling at me and sang the song to me. After which he came down and blessed my mother telling me not to worry. This dream gave me so much happiness and strength since my Appa had sung that song to me and also blessed my mother giving me confidence in her life.

All he needs is to truly open our hearts to let him in. He will blow your conscious and convert you to him. He needs nothing from us. Not even prayers. Our true love towards him is the only thing that will make him come near and near to us. Maybe such actions are childlike, but after all, it is that innocence that makes him come and take charge of our lives and souls. I wish everyone to feel his love and be happy always.

MORE LESSONS DURING SHIVARATHRI

What a day it was. If in previous years we lit the Homam and did libation or Abhisegam to his statue, since Agathiyar in the form of the bronze statue was in another devotee couple's home, I did not know how to observe Shivarathri last night as he had asked us to observe the day as we did in the past years. Come Friday morning, Mahindren invited us to his home telling us he intended to observe that night beginning with lighting a Homam at 6pm, followed by Yoga Asanas at 9pm. As for the other times that is 12 midnight, 3am and 6am neither of us knew what to do. 

We started the homam with the kids participating in the lighting of the Homam accompanied by the adults singing the praise of the Siddhas. During the recitation of the names of the Siddhas the "Ongaaram" that was chanted followed by the names of the Siddhas echoed as "Ang" revibrating for the very first time since I felt it at Agasthiyampalli in 2005 and Tanjai Big Temple in 2016. When the short ritual concluded, Agathiyar came asking us what we intended to do for the second phase. I asked him to tell us. He, as Mahindren suggested, told us to do Vaasi and Asanas. 

He asked me to glance at the flame from the oil lamp. I did. Soon he asked me what I saw. I replied with guilt that I saw nothing. He answered that was it. There is nothing external to it, he said. He then asked me what I felt within. I told him peace and calm. That was it he answered. 

In "Talks by Satguru Bodhinatha Veylanswami" at https://www.himalayanacademy.com/ ) we learn that,

"In common philosophical use, when you hear the word maya you think of illusion. That's because of dominant philosophy in the Hindu world is Shankara's maya-vadin philosophy in which Maya means it's unreal; doesn't really exist." 

"Maya in Saiva Siddhanta exists, it's just constantly changing. That's why Gurudeva writes "...the ever perpetuating dance." It's constantly changing; there's nothing permanent about it. So it's a reality but it's constantly changing."

Likewise, Agathiyar told us that the world was real. What was unreal was our perception of it. It reminded me of one of several lessons I learned attending a course on NeuroLinguistic Programming back in my working days. An ATM card held out to us was real, but the perception differed according to the position and angle we sat and saw it. One saw only its thin edge while another the front side and others the back.

He went on to speak on several other matters. He told me the reason he asked to write this blog was to tell all that he exists among us. People have frozen him in the pages of mythical stories and as a sage who lived once upon a time and is enclosed him in Samadhi never to return. On the contrary, he was very much alive and walking amongst us in all creation, and interacting with us.

He asked me when was Dhyanam deemed complete? He gave me the answer to it too. He tells me that when all else drops except the breath know that your Dhyanam is complete. We are the breath then.

He asked me why we celebrated Shivarathri? I told him to please enlighten me. He replied that it was the day when we arrived at the state of Sivam. How do we arrive there he asked? He gave the answer too. With the aid of the breath, one enhances the flame (Agni Jwala) within to reach the state of Sivam. He sent me to observe my breath. I sat watching my breath while he spoke to others.

Wanting to feel their state of bliss too, Agathiyar replied, "Well you saw and felt it yesterday, didn't you" referring to the day some days ago when I was lost in total bliss. He warned me though of the dangers of falling for Maya in these moments of bliss. What happens the very first time is genuine and true. What takes place in subsequent moments is false as the mind attempts to replicate this bliss. This is the work of Maya.

When I told him that I could not remember the immense volumes of Gnanam that he gave he said to drop that too. Once we have listened and ingested it there is no need to remember nor carry that. He added that forgetting itself was a blessing. If we had dropped the baggage of Karma we brought with us, we need to drop all other baggage that we picked up along the way, and even the knowledge or Gnanam. No wonder Supramania Swami told me that he had to leave the merits that he had earned in his 40 years of doing Tavam or austerities. I understood that we could always tap from the Akashic records, the resource made available to us and opens up to us when we reach their state. It is akin to storing and downloading as and when necessary from the cloud, Google Drive, or OneDrive rather than carrying the pen drive or hard disk along. 

He had told me in one of our earlier sessions some time back that when are are attentive and in touch with the Prapanjam we can retain what we learned, heard, and saw. He also said that the Prapanjam shall honor our wishes.

When I told him that I couldn't fail to see Bharathi as a Siddha he agreed. He then asked me what was my idea of a guru? He then told me that he is a guru who brings change in another. Anyone who brings about a transformation in another person is a guru and need not be only those who sit on grand Peedhams as heads and have followers. Bharathi indeed touched all those who read his songs.

At 9pm we carried out our Pranayama and Asana practices as he had asked.

At 12 midnight, wanting to share a song with Mahindren, I played the song in praise of Bhagawan Ramana written by Sadhu Om and sung by Sriram Parthasarathy, "Naave Vidaathu Solvaai". Bhagawan Ramana came immediately and held our palms and held us close to his chest. He began to join in singing the verses. He told us that the moment we drop our Ahangaaram (Aanavam) we become one with him. This is the last standing enemy to be vanquished among the three impurities or Malam namely Maayai, Kanmam, and lastly Aanavam. Satguru Bodhinatha Veylanswami says, "Anava is when we tend to forget, we identify and we think of ourselves as a separate being rather than being just the One Being."

He stayed on for the next song "Maname Irangi Varuvaai" before bidding farewell. It was truly as amazing as the previous year when Yogi Ramsuratkumar came with my guru Supramania Swami and listened to Sriram Parthasarathy's rendition of songs on Bhagavan Ramana and Arunachala written by Sadhu Om.

At 3am Ramalinga Adigal came in the midst of our satsang. He spoke little but gave us an insight into the Agni Jwala that Agathiyar had spoken just hours ago. He had us hug him and transferred the heat to us. He told us to work on this Agni Jwala so that we could reach the state of Sivam. The last time he came he brought us to connect with the Prapanjam after Agathiyar spoke about him being the Prapanjam and the Prapanjam being in him. 

We concluded the 6am puja with a song in praise of Arutperunjothi.