What a day it was. If in previous years we lit the Homam and did libation or Abhisegam to his statue, since Agathiyar in the form of the bronze statue was in another devotee couple's home, I did not know how to observe Shivarathri last night as he had asked us to observe the day as we did in the past years. Come Friday morning, Mahindren invited us to his home telling us he intended to observe that night beginning with lighting a Homam at 6pm, followed by Yoga Asanas at 9pm. As for the other times that is 12 midnight, 3am and 6am neither of us knew what to do.
We started the homam with the kids participating in the lighting of the Homam accompanied by the adults singing the praise of the Siddhas. During the recitation of the names of the Siddhas the "Ongaaram" that was chanted followed by the names of the Siddhas echoed as "Ang" revibrating for the very first time since I felt it at Agasthiyampalli in 2005 and Tanjai Big Temple in 2016. When the short ritual concluded, Agathiyar came asking us what we intended to do for the second phase. I asked him to tell us. He, as Mahindren suggested, told us to do Vaasi and Asanas.
He asked me to glance at the flame from the oil lamp. I did. Soon he asked me what I saw. I replied with guilt that I saw nothing. He answered that was it. There is nothing external to it, he said. He then asked me what I felt within. I told him peace and calm. That was it he answered.
In "Talks by Satguru Bodhinatha Veylanswami" at https://www.himalayanacademy.com/ ) we learn that,
"In common philosophical use, when you hear the word maya you think of illusion. That's because of dominant philosophy in the Hindu world is Shankara's maya-vadin philosophy in which Maya means it's unreal; doesn't really exist."
"Maya in Saiva Siddhanta exists, it's just constantly changing. That's why Gurudeva writes "...the ever perpetuating dance." It's constantly changing; there's nothing permanent about it. So it's a reality but it's constantly changing."
Likewise, Agathiyar told us that the world was real. What was unreal was our perception of it. It reminded me of one of several lessons I learned attending a course on NeuroLinguistic Programming back in my working days. An ATM card held out to us was real, but the perception differed according to the position and angle we sat and saw it. One saw only its thin edge while another the front side and others the back.
He went on to speak on several other matters. He told me the reason he asked to write this blog was to tell all that he exists among us. People have frozen him in the pages of mythical stories and as a sage who lived once upon a time and is enclosed him in Samadhi never to return. On the contrary, he was very much alive and walking amongst us in all creation, and interacting with us.
He asked me when was Dhyanam deemed complete? He gave me the answer to it too. He tells me that when all else drops except the breath know that your Dhyanam is complete. We are the breath then.
He asked me why we celebrated Shivarathri? I told him to please enlighten me. He replied that it was the day when we arrived at the state of Sivam. How do we arrive there he asked? He gave the answer too. With the aid of the breath, one enhances the flame (Agni Jwala) within to reach the state of Sivam. He sent me to observe my breath. I sat watching my breath while he spoke to others.
Wanting to feel their state of bliss too, Agathiyar replied, "Well you saw and felt it yesterday, didn't you" referring to the day some days ago when I was lost in total bliss. He warned me though of the dangers of falling for Maya in these moments of bliss. What happens the very first time is genuine and true. What takes place in subsequent moments is false as the mind attempts to replicate this bliss. This is the work of Maya.
When I told him that I could not remember the immense volumes of Gnanam that he gave he said to drop that too. Once we have listened and ingested it there is no need to remember nor carry that. He added that forgetting itself was a blessing. If we had dropped the baggage of Karma we brought with us, we need to drop all other baggage that we picked up along the way, and even the knowledge or Gnanam. No wonder Supramania Swami told me that he had to leave the merits that he had earned in his 40 years of doing Tavam or austerities. I understood that we could always tap from the Akashic records, the resource made available to us and opens up to us when we reach their state. It is akin to storing and downloading as and when necessary from the cloud, Google Drive, or OneDrive rather than carrying the pen drive or hard disk along.
He had told me in one of our earlier sessions some time back that when are are attentive and in touch with the Prapanjam we can retain what we learned, heard, and saw. He also said that the Prapanjam shall honor our wishes.
When I told him that I couldn't fail to see Bharathi as a Siddha he agreed. He then asked me what was my idea of a guru? He then told me that he is a guru who brings change in another. Anyone who brings about a transformation in another person is a guru and need not be only those who sit on grand Peedhams as heads and have followers. Bharathi indeed touched all those who read his songs.
At 9pm we carried out our Pranayama and Asana practices as he had asked.
At 12 midnight, wanting to share a song with Mahindren, I played the song in praise of Bhagawan Ramana written by Sadhu Om and sung by Sriram Parthasarathy, "Naave Vidaathu Solvaai". Bhagawan Ramana came immediately and held our palms and held us close to his chest. He began to join in singing the verses. He told us that the moment we drop our Ahangaaram (Aanavam) we become one with him. This is the last standing enemy to be vanquished among the three impurities or Malam namely Maayai, Kanmam, and lastly Aanavam. Satguru Bodhinatha Veylanswami says, "Anava is when we tend to forget, we identify and we think of ourselves as a separate being rather than being just the One Being."
He stayed on for the next song "Maname Irangi Varuvaai" before bidding farewell. It was truly as amazing as the previous year when Yogi Ramsuratkumar came with my guru Supramania Swami and listened to Sriram Parthasarathy's rendition of songs on Bhagavan Ramana and Arunachala written by Sadhu Om.
At 3am Ramalinga Adigal came in the midst of our satsang. He spoke little but gave us an insight into the Agni Jwala that Agathiyar had spoken just hours ago. He had us hug him and transferred the heat to us. He told us to work on this Agni Jwala so that we could reach the state of Sivam. The last time he came he brought us to connect with the Prapanjam after Agathiyar spoke about him being the Prapanjam and the Prapanjam being in him.
We concluded the 6am puja with a song in praise of Arutperunjothi.