LIFE THAT IS A WONDER

It is 1.30am. I woke up to go to the loo. Getting back to bed, I could not sleep again. As I sat on my bed I took up my phone to draft what came to my mind or rather the knowledge that showered as raindrops. It is a wonder.

Everything including us is changing before our very eyes. It is just that some changes are pretty obvious and are seen while others are not that obvious. Though time-lapse cameras these days capture the magic, we do not see the flower bloom petal by petal until the next moment we walk up to it and see it in full bloom. It is a wonder.

Water that springs from the earth, flows on the surface of the earth, forming water bodies, evaporates into steam and vapor and is lifted in the air to become clouds and showers as raindrops or pours down to the earth in torrents, to flow again and seep back into the earth, to restart its journey again. It is a wonder. It was real for that moment to our vision, our touch, and taste. The next instant it is no more its true self. Where did it go? It is a wonder.

Swami Vishnudevananda writes on how his perception of the holy river Ganges and outlook on life changed instantaneously by the mere gaze of Swami Sivananda, looking towards him while standing on its bank performing Arathi to Mother Ganga, in ‘MY YEARS WITH THE MASTER’ at http://www.sivanandaonline.org.

Before leaving (the Ashram), I went down the Ganga where it was the custom of the Ashram to do Aarati (waving of lights) every evening. All the devotees and inmates of the Ashram assembled by the banks of the Ganga to watch Master (Swami Sivananda) perform this evening worship. I was sceptical. I was of a scientific temperament and knew that a river is only water, H2O-imagine worshipping H20!! But as I stood there and watched Master waving the lights, I saw the river become a mass of flowing lights. At that instant the river assumed a divine flow, a manifestation of the Grace of the Lord. Master turned and looked at me and in my mind I heard his message, “God pervades everything; this too is His Special Form.” This entirely changed my outlook on life.

Similarly, a cell fusing with another, multiplies to form a mass tagged as an embryo that becomes a fetus and a child who grows to become a kid, a teen, a young adult, an adult in his prime, and ages gracefully, and decays, breaking down into the very elements that came together in the past. Where is the aged in the young? Where is the youth that once ran around in the old? Where is the oil in the seed? Where is the ghee in the milk? 

One transforms into another, losing and shedding its identity, form, and name to take on another and losing that too to become something else. It goes on and on. Is this world Maya, an illusion too? Is this world then for real? Are we then real? Is this body too unreal then? We and everything else are made of Tattvas or the building blocks as in the infrastructure in our homes, the lighting, plumbing, and air-conditioning, and all the movable items that we bring in later. If these Tattvas are not for real too, so how can we and all else be. How can something changing continuously be real? 

If the world does not exist then we do not too. If we do not exist then the world does not too. If this world and the body are unreal how can the stories, events, and experiences be real? No wonder Agathiyar exposes it all as unreal in his Agathiyar Gnanam and Agathiyar 12000. This might be the reason he does not want us to go snooping around to know his origin for we would most likely get disappointed and frustrated. So is it with the sensitive topic of diet and meat intake. Nithilan Dhandapani shares the meanings of Bhogar's songs that could be seen as controversial by many. 

What then is real? What then does Agathiyar's statement mean that he was in the Prapanjam and that the Prapanjam was in him? What then does his statement mean that he was in us and we in him too? What is real then is the soul matter. It was, is, and shall be forever. Time and space cannot contain it. Now I understand why Tavayogi said that the soul cannot be caged. I was a soul that assembled a dwelling from the elements of my parents, grew within my mother's womb, and entered this world, crawling, walking, running, and eventually returning to the elements. So why am I so egoistic and holding on to all things impermanent including this body? Should not I stay as a witness, the watcher? Indeed I am, I was and I shall be forever the watcher.

Writing this post upon awakening, it is not me but the watcher keying in these words to bring an understanding to me and others. Indeed each post educates me too. I am learning too. I am only a tool in the hands of the watcher. It is both a self-study and a study of the self. Just as the flower blooms, the self opens up to reveal the knowledge that it holds. Just as Agathiyar in his recent memo said the 1000-petaled Chakra Sahasrara opens up, it taps into the Prapanjam, the storehouse of knowledge, that turns into ambrosia and drips within bringing joy and bliss in knowing the Self and all of creation. It rejoices in being able to differentiate the truth from the false. In dropping the latter what then remains is the truth. We stand as the truth. Now I understand why Agathiyar told us to carefully sieve through all the happenings and sieve out Maya to arrive at the truth.

What is real is only these passing moments in time and space that man has desperately tried to peg. Though these fleeting moments are lost in time-space, the Siddhas have the means to search and connect these moments on the timeline with our present lives. They collect, assemble, and release these stock photos and old vintage footage as a short movie for our preview and review once when we go for a Nadi reading and again when the soul is liberated from being held captive by this body, our likes and dislikes, our ego, and habits. Those who miss these two moments, they get to view it as a full-length movie shown before them at the moment of death and are allowed to work towards amending and changing the course of their lives in another birth.  

Everything and every knowledge is buried deep within us. Now I understand why the saints did nothing after realizing the truth. Now I understand why Agathiyar has me do nothing too. Like Bhogar's songs that could flare up controversies, Nithilan Dhandapani reads from the radical and earth-breaking songs of Sivavakiyar and brings their inner meanings to us.

IN THE LAP OF THE GURU

Has any guru we know uplifted their followers to a state at par with them or trained or groomed them to take over the assets in the way of an ashram or Peedham, organization or movement, group or society, or gave way for them to take over while they are still around? Guhai Namasivayar of Thiruvannamalai after seeing his student Guru Namasivayar grow into a man capable of taking on the role of a guru, and knowing that there could not be two captains on a ship, sent him to Chidambaram. The latter, who reluctantly followed his guru's dictate, left only after laying a condition that his guru should be there when he arrived. The master showed himself at Chidambaram. Tavayogi we know passed on his legacy to Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar who had served him obediently all these years. Tavayogi groomed me to become a worthy student on the path. Supramania Swami, in saying that we cannot bring anything with us during our moment of departure and have to leave them behind, passed on his entire life merits gained from his Tapas and Tavam and austerities to me. Agathiyar some time back had identified several devotees and told them that they were guru material and had to discharge the roles as gurus, teaching what they had learned to date to the others. But sadly they did not pursue nor take his words seriously. 

If a devotee who learned the Yoga techniques together with me from Tavayogi in 2007 but failed to pursue and practice them was told to relearn them from me in his Nadi reading some years later, and if Agathiyar sent several youths to my home after their Nadi readings, which became known as Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) upon their arrival in 2013, to witness, participate, and learn Siddha puja and rituals, in 2019 he asked that I teach one of these youths, Mahindren, the Yoga techniques I learned from Tavayogi. I did as told. Later in 2022, he had Mahindren teach them to others. Later Agathiyar instructed me to initiate a couple of seekers to the path. I did as told. I had previously turned down his offers and rewards that he was prepared to gift me for my efforts and obedience to him. He had given me the rare privilege to build him a temple which I did not pursue after 2002 after having failed to convince temple committees to give me a place to install his statue; a Peedham to call my own and run that did not interest me; the Nadi for me to refer to and for others too which I turned down; and the power of healing others that after we voiced our concern and worries he dropped. Later he dropped the temple matter too telling me that they had tested me. He then came through devotees to heal and pass on his thoughts instead. So when he finally came around asking me recently if he should make me a guru, for want of giving back something to him that he desired most rather than that which I desired to give him for all his compassion, love, guidance, and care, I reluctantly agreed to accept the role. But almost immediately after I gave my consent, he turned around the offer and offered me the role of a Siddha instead. I was dumbfounded. It brought back the memory of my very first encounter and meeting my very first guru Supramania Swami of Thiruvannamalai in 2003, some three years before I met Tavayogi in Malaysia. Swami with his eyes closed had gone on for some five hours telling me about his gurus and about my future too. I could only sit in silence and shed tears of bliss and joy. Later in 2005 when I was with him again, at his new kudil that we helped build by gathering donations, I could not fail to notice that he had closed with a gunny sack the very window that he had designed such that he could see the holy mountain of Arunachala while sitting on his jute bed from across the living room. I asked him the reason. He told me that he could no longer gaze at the mountain for it was fiery. He had to close up the window. He added that he saw Siddhas and Rishis going about their errands, routines, and work atop the mountain. He then surprised me saying that he saw me too on the mountain slopes. I could not make any sense of it then. So here Agathiyar has offered the highest portfolio that a man could receive in the cycle of evolution from man to God. From an ordinary man afflicted by the Karma of his past actions, he moves to shed them. He is then seen as a good man upholding good virtues, making a name, and standing for himself in the eyes of society. Society in turn, then confers on him the tag of being a Deivam or a divine person or soul. Some societies go to the extent of worshipping him in person and as a photo, painting, or building him a temple and placing his statue and worshipping it. He becomes God in their eyes. But the Siddhas uplift him instead to their state and prepare him to merge with the Divine instead. He goes beyond the memories society has of him, to forever remain by the side of the Siddhas as Agathiyar says of Ramalinga Adigal tagging along with him whenever he appears at AVM; as Krishnaveni Amma of Kalyana Theertam says of Shirdi Sai tagging along with Lord Murugan who plays mischievous games with her; as Supramania Swami coming to us on Shivarathri with his guru Yogi Ramsuratkumar some years back; and most recently both Supramania Swami and Tavayogi gracing our 6oth wedding with Agathiyar conducting it. These sages and saints are given an honorable place in the court of Arutperunjothi Andavar. How I wish I could join them too. 

From running around in God's court, taking a birth spending time in the womb of our mothers, and later spending time on their lap, we then spend time in the lap of Mother Earth. With the coming of the guru, we spend time on his lap. With him linking us to the Prapanjam we then spend time on her lap. When the time comes, she consumes us into her womb. We are back home. This is the cycle of life. 

A REMINDER FOR THE AGING

Going through the numerous harddisk of videos, audio, photos, and documents, that I have come to gather over time, I came across a video that I had saved from the internet. It is a timely reminder to all of us including me who shall step into my 66th year of existence in the lap of Mother Earth this Sunday. 

A passage from this video goes as follows: "... Upon turning 60, it would do us all well to see life for what it is, to cherish what we have, to enjoy life whilst we can, and to not take on society's troubles or your children's and grandchildren affairs on for yourself."

This is what Agathiyar told my children, my wife, and me several days after carrying out our 6oth wedding last Guru Purnima. He told them the inner significance of the 6oth wedding was to mark and register in us a pertinent point of life and a pertinent point in life. To the children, it marks the day that they let go of the hold that they had on their parents in multiple ways. To us, it was to let go and enter another phase of life, that of discovering the Self, Soul, and Atma, and journey back to the source if possible while still alive. Otherwise, death shall visit us and bring us to another round of birth to try and attempt again to find our way back home. 

SEEING THE SUBTLE

The very first thing Tavayogi did upon leaving my home after the pep talk that he gave taking up my invitation to visit our home in 2005, was to correct my perception of all things holy that we believe to be true before starting me on this amazing journey of transformation both external and internal. The very last thing Agathiyar did was to correct my perception in specific areas within the material, religious, and spiritual spheres. Both my gurus, the former in the physical form and the latter though in the subtle form coming through the Nadi, devotees, and through memos, did justice in ridding me of the deception that Maya very cleverly creates. They have rid us of our hold on Maya.

In creating this world Maya took reign of it. Agathiyar told me that I had to learn to differentiate, identify, and live accordingly. Maya is in the material world and the religious and spiritual worlds too. It is for us to see through it. I thought that the world only exists as far as we exist, for if we shut our eyes it disappears from our vision. It disappears from our vision when we sleep and I presume when dead, it fades from our vision too. I had thought that all our desires, likes, wishes, learnings, knowledge, habits and character, practices, and Yogic practices too such as meditating shall die with us. I thought that all our efforts too shall die with us. But Supramania Swami on the contrary told me that our efforts all not wasted for we carry them with us into the next birth where we begin from where we left off. Agathiyar later made me rethink when the author of the blog "Siththan Arul", Velayutham Karthikayan Aiya shared with me that Agathiyar had told the family of the famous Nadi reader of Chennai who had passed away not to carry out customary rituals. To my surprise, Agathiyar revealed in the Nadi as Karthikayan Aiya shared further that his soul was meditating in the Pothigai hills. Recently Agathiyar surprised us further when he revealed that the Atma Santhi Kriyas or rituals to appease the deceased's souls are only required for those who had carried many desires and could never put them down or had carried many unfulfilled desires before their untimely death. These souls shall linger around in this world till they take up another body or rather build another body from the cells of its future parents, that is home for themselves to reside in and fulfill these unfulfilled desires. So it seems like even if we drop the body and it returns to the five elements that the soul had assembled together to create the body, the essence exists in subtle form and is carried into unseen realms around us. Life indeed is a mystery. No number of lifetimes shall help us decipher or fathom it. We need God's grace to understand it fully. 

THE LAST FRONTIER

I will be turning 65 this weekend. As I was chatting on a video call with my second grandaughter who was engrossed in something at her desk, refusing to show me or tell me, in walked her elder sister and spilled the beans. Apparently, she was making me a birthday card. The poor girl cried when her sister revealed what was supposed to be a closely kept secret in their family. She wanted to surprise me on that day. The greatest moments are spent with family and friends and at times with unknown strangers too. These moments add spice to an otherwise dry and rigid lifeless robotic life for many. 

I had a good life, although my family's fate which was well and doing financially took a dip suddenly. But we did not go hungry. The siblings each took up a job and we managed quite well. I am grateful that the divine takes care of our needs to this day. 

So what have I learned in all these 65 years of living? Nothing extraordinary. I guess all of us have gone through our ups and downs in life. I do not want to bore my readers with my life story. But what excites me to this hour and moment is the journey that fell into place and the experiences that came with walking the Siddha path. From God to guru, to father, to companion, today Agathiyar is part of our family. For how else would you define the surprise 60th wedding that he threw in for me and my wife on last Guru Purnima. Coming to know Agathiyar is the best thing that has happened to me besides the many good moments I have had with my grandchildren and listening to them spill wisdom. Just as Tavayogi and Agathiyar had on numerous moments knocked some sense into me, my grandchildren too tend to do that unknowingly. I had washed their dog pen and cleaned the bottom pad just days ago. My second granddaughter asked to feed the dog. As she placed the dog food into the dog's bowl, the dog that forever kept jumping, around just as its owner as her elder sister teased her, toppled the bowl and spilled it. I scolded my granddaughter for not being careful and holding on to the bowl. I later regretted it when I came to my senses and told her that it was not her fault but the dog's. I apologized to her. I then said to her that we both had learned a lesson that day. We should hold the dog back when we fill her bowl. Or she should train her dog to sit and wait to be told to eat. Later upon visiting her uncle, she told him what had happened. He saw the whole episode from a different perspective. He told her that of course, one would blame the owner for the pet's fault. The law penalizes the pet owner too. This 8-month-old puppy was a birthday gift for this 4-year-old.

In walking the path I came to walk with gurus, Supramania Swami of Thiruvannamalai and Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram, two men who shared their experiences with their gurus and God. Not only did they share their experiences they showed me God. Not the God as portrayed in images and statues and texts and movies, but God coming alive within us and living as our inner Self, God as he lives in all of us. I am grateful to them. 

My search has ended. My traveling has ended. All my talking has ended. All my doing too had ended. I am contended and complete. I am happy to the core. I am alive with a renewed energy that has its source in the Prapanjam that is all around us and we in it. My gurus and Agathiyar have brought me to this understanding. They have given me this experience. I thank them. I am grateful to them. 

I am now standing at the last frontier. There is still this element of separation between us. I have to lose this identity to become one with the divine. I have to move from Dvaita to Advaita. Death does not help here. This separation has to dissolve right here. The union has to take place right here. Will it take place? 

Just as John F. Kennedy took to the stage at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum on July 15th, 1960, and told those gathered that "Today our concern must be with that future. For the world is changing. The old era is ending. The old ways will not do", Agathiyar too shared with us the same telling us changes have to be made to bring and keep people on this path. I believe we at AVM have made some wonderful constructive and relevant changes in Sariyai, Kriyai, and Yogam. Agathiyar came to bring further changes by disseminating Gnanam. Lord Muruga in asking me for a temple for him, told me that I shall show him in a different light. The Siddhas and Gods too apparently are advocates for change. In the movie "Hot Spot" too, we are told that someone has to bring the change. Let that someone be us. 

So where do we begin to bring this change? Of course within ourselves. Agathiyar who came along asking many to carry out the Yoga practices that Tavayogi gave me and which he asked to teach Mahindren who was in turn told to teach others, was saddened by the poor response he got. Many who came to the path began to substitute temple worship and worship of deities as in Sariyai with worship of the Siddhas as in Kriyai and never progressed into the other phases, stages, and states of Yogam and Gnanam. They became comfortable doing what they did. As they could not voluntarily bring themselves to move on to the other phases nor could Agathiyar break their hold, he made a drastic move. He brought down the home that sheltered them. But it was all for their own good. 

Man has to evolve and keep on evolving with each birth. Agathiyar tells me that he has known me for crores of years. I guess it took me that long to arrive here at this birth. He has shadowed me closely helping me shed my Karma, know the rights and wrongs, and grow from these experiences. The experiences gained from this life shall add to my past account. I am safe under his watchful eyes. I shall go with the flow. I shall walk his talk till the breath departs.

THE JOURNEY SIMPLIFIED & MADE EASY

When Agathiyar said it had been a long journey and I agreed and added that I needed to travel much farther, he told me that I had already arrived at my destination. How is that possible I asked myself? I questioned my worth. I guess I was comparing myself with all the trendsetters and pioneers before me, as well as their achievements and standing in society today. I realized last evening when I was chatting with Mahindren who dropped by my home after work, that we have been deceived by attires and those purported authorities, having us think that their standing was the proclaimed state and destination to look up to. Agathiyar has shed the false perspective and tore down these false images. Just like the Buddhists believe that we are all Buddha by nature, Agathiyar diffused the myth by telling us that each one of us is Agathiyan. Agathiyar came out in the open detailing the journey in simple terms that even the commoner could understand via a memo to us. 

Now I understand why Tavayogi said that I was living in Maya thinking that he had something hidden beneath those clothing. One need not adorn the garb of a mendicant to receive the grace of the divine. Like him, to make a statement towards this end, Agathiyar too during the last Guru Purnima, had me and my wife carry out our 6oth wedding.

I realized that much hype has been built surrounding the Siddha journey. No one has told us that we can become Agathiyar too. Each wanted to be somebody on this platform. But Tavayogi told us to look up to and look within us for Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal told us to hold on to Agathiyar tightly. It needed Agathiyar to come to us through the memo and tell us that all of us could attain his state provided we followed the ways, means and methods that they passed on having themselves traveled the path.

Cherish all that you have. Cherish this body, a vehicle for us to move, see, hear, touch, feel, smell, taste, and go places. Most of all cherish each breath that continues to keep us alive. It makes sense now when the Siddhas tell us that the body is our temple and that the presiding deity is the Soul and the ritual of Arathi or showing the flame is in fact akin to the breath traversing in us. If our legs bring us on an external pilgrimage to holy places and temples, our breath brings us walking the internal journey as Saint Avvai sings of the"Kaal" or breath in her "Vinayagar Agaval". It carries the life energies, Prana that brought about this gross body arising from the fusion of cells from each parent. It oversees its development and finally resides in the Muladhara or base Chakra. These energies once activated in a multitude of ways and means, travel and cruise the many checkpoints or Chakras along the way. It clears the Chakras preparing them to receive the force and might of the energies that shall come within where the Sahasrara Chakra once closed in childhood is reopened again. It tears down previous irrelevant and wrong understandings. We are reborn again. This is the second phase that Agathiyar spoke about to us last Guru Purnima.

Even when I asked him repeatedly if I had arrived, he replied the same, asking me how many times does he need to proclaim it. When I kept asking for something to do, he kept telling me there was nothing more to do. Even as the creative energies that began  dormant and sleeping and hibernating after the Soul (JeevAtma) fused the first cells of both my parents, bringing within me the very first breath of life, and looking over my shoulder, monitoring the progress of the embryo and fetus, eventually having done its job, settled coiled up at the Muladhara, arose again the moment my ego left and the Soul was realized, activating and awakening these energies from its deep slumber, with the tools, the Asanas and Pranayama techniques, that Tavayogi gave, traveled up to Svathisthana and moving further up later, was stagnated, ponded and lodged at the Manipuraka for some three years, and Agathiyar broke the bunds and let the energies flow rapidly within three days to reach the Sahasrara causing the swirling sensation that was felt at the navel at Manipuraka initially when the bunds broke, to be felt at the crown of the head then, Agathiyar told me there was nothing further for me to do or put into practice as he said that these energies will do there work. But he did ask me to share these experiences with my readers. If Lord Shiva had me do nothing and go into hibernation in 1988 for some 14 years fearing I could turn cuckoo with all my questions back then, Agathiyar too after raising the energies within has me go into hibernation doing nothing.

THE COLORS OF LIFE

It is saddening to see and hear many newly married and young couples break up and divorce. Friends and relatives too are not spared. We read of the Siddhas having forecast the coming of this age beforehand. I guess this is the reason Agathiyar had us carry out our 60th wedding and came personally as the Purohit and see it through. He had us make videos of the moment and asked that we publish it for all to see. He wants all married couple to stay together till death do them apart. 

We tend to make choices and when things go wrong, we expect divine intervention to make good the situation or ties. But God helps those who help themselves. For instance, if we do not take care of our health how can God make good the "home" that is falling apart. We have to take the initiate to keep the home standing. 

As I'm sitting on the bench at the park drafting this piece, I cannot but fail to notice people are not connecting with nature. Yes, they drive themselves to wake up early and drive over to the park. But they seem to be more obsessed with running or walking as if wanting to out beat the other in a race. They seem not to observe nature, touch and connect with it. They fail to take a moment to enjoy the sights and sounds. My daughter told me that a soundscape recordist capturing the sounds of nature warns us of the diminishing numbers and species of birds in our surroundings. Take in the sounds while they exist. 

But not all is lost as there are those groups who gather and gaze at trees and hug them too. There are those who sit quietly and observe their thoughts too. There seems to be a balance in all things. Not all is lost. We are still surviving because of the few who care and are concerned. We take off our hats to them. Thank you for keeping us alive too.

I met a Chinese couple who were sitting on the bench after taking a stroll in the park. I could not resist taking their picture. When I asked for their permission, they obliged. Later I met the man in a vegetarian restaurant where I was having lunch. If I wanted to pack my lunch back the helpers insisted, I eat there as if we dine in the food was free. If we were to pack it, then they would have to charge. Upon her insistence I sat to eat. She did the same too on my earlier visit some time back, insisting that I eat. I shall never go hungry. The Good Lord sees to it. He joined me at the table and told me he contributed to the restaurant which serves free food too on certain days. Today was one of the days. We shared our contribution towards society and community in our old age. He was 76. He shared that he frequented Hindu temples too for the blessings of the deities. We shared photos of our grandchildren too. I guess this is how life in old age should be. 

AGATHIYAR PART 2

Have we come any closer to knowing him by knowing his story? I doubt it. Just as clothes do not make a man, knowing (his)tory would not maketh him. The only way to know the man is to live like him. The only way to know the man is to bring his soul to live in us. The only way to know the man is to carry his teachings. The only way to know the man is to put into practice his techniques and methods. 

So, what do you do when Agathiyar calls you to his worship and that of the Siddhas? Although I only knew worship to deities all this while, having pictures of them at my altar at home spiced up with occasional visits to the temples, I took the lead without further ado. I did not have to seek far for Agathiyar introduced me to all the Siddhas through a ritual Nadikku Dhanam at the end of my Nadi reading. The Nadi guru received my offerings towards the Nadi and their authors, the Siddhas, and in return carried out a prayer calling on all the Siddhas to come forward and receive my thanksgiving offerings. I was given a booklet containing these names and a picture of Agathiyar to be worshipped at home too. Armed with these tools, the Nadi reading that came as a revelation and remained a constant guide in my life, the list of names of the Siddhas, and a picture of Agathiyar, I began my maiden worship to Agathiyar and the Siddhas. A year later I stepped on Indian soil going on my maiden pilgrimage to carry out the remedies or Parikaram that Agathiyar gave me in the said Nadi reading. I was then brought before Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai in a mysterious way, on the pretext of drawing out my daughter's horoscope. A new relationship bloomed that day between a guru and his student. He took me as his son and student, initiating me with a Siva Mantra. Supramania Swami introduced me to Guru Bhakti or devotion towards the guru, an entirely new concept and perception from what I was brought up to do. From the unseen Gods and Goddesses whose form was captured as visions and paintings that we adored and worshipped at our altar at home and the stone statues in temples, now I was shown the might and compassion of divinity that takes the form of humans too as the gurus. 

If Supramania Swami ignited me into the traditional worship of Lord Shiva and Lord Narayana, and into Guru Bhakti, Agathiyar sends Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal Tavayogi whom I met under mysterious circumstances too in 2005, to be nurtured further and molded into the ways of the Siddhas. Holding on to a leaflet given to me by the Nadi reader in 2002, I wanted to verify if the name on the piece of paper was the Tavayogi who was to officiate a Peedham in Malaysia then. A beautiful relationship bloomed again between a guru and his student when Tavayogi officially gave me initiation into the Agathiyar mantra. 

Tavayogi invited me over to his Kallar Ashram in India providing me with my very first experience of staying at an ashram, and brought me into the jungles, caves, dens, and abodes of the Siddhas, giving first-hand experiences and insights into the lives of the Siddhas. 

• When Tavayogi told me that Agathiyar came the night before and asked what he (Tavayogi) was going to give me, I looked back at him in disbelief. How was that possible I asked myself? The Agathiyar I knew till then only spoke through the Nadi. 
• When Tavayogi took me on the new adventure walking the path of the Siddhas, he would look towards the sky and point out to certain aroma that lingers in the air telling me that the Siddhas came or were ushering us with flowers. I would look up in disbelief. The Siddhas I knew till then only spoke through the Nadi.  
• When he called me to his side and told me that Agathiyar was opening and closing his eyes in his granite statue at his temple in Agasthiyampalli, I blinked into the darkness of the inner chamber, hardly able to see his form much less see him wink. The Agathiyar I knew only came in the form of writings in the Nadi till then. 
• When he spoke about a statue of Agathiyar in the jungles of Kallar hill, that he placed after having had a darshan or vision of Agathiyar, I asked him how he came. He replied: "In the form of Light". I could only give him a blank stare then. The Agathiyar I knew till then took the form of the Nadi, paintings and statues. 

Returning home, these experiences and the mantra initiation that I received, added on to my existing portfolio of Nadi readings that came as a revelation and remained a constant guide in my life, the list of names of the Siddhas, the picture of Agathiyar, the Yantra, and personal gurus to guide me. Armed with these I continued my worship of Agathiyar.

Then Agathiyar chooses to come into my home in the form of a bronze statue where now we had a personal form of God whom we bath, dressed and worshipped. A subtle relationship between the divine in the metal and the devotee who chose to see him going beyond the material emerged. 

Following the directive to conduct Abhisegam to him, and the Homam that was instructed to be done by Tavayogi, and supporting these Agamas with the acts of doing charity, we stepped further into Sariyai and Kriyai. Armed with these new tools, we still kept to following the Nadi readings that came as a revelation and remained a constant guide in my life, reciting the names of the Siddhas, following the teachings of the personal gurus, and with a whole lot of new experiences added on, I and my family continued worship to Agathiyar and to serve him. 

But the answer to the question "Who is Agathiyar?" was nowhere in sight. Going through the numerous texts on Agathiyar and the Siddhas, we are given many varied accounts of him, right from his birth to the many miracles he did, as we have seen earlier in Part 1. But just by reading his biography, although we shall have admiration and respect for him, it does not bring one to understand him better. It is only by knowing him personally that one can rightly say that he knows Agathiyar. How does one get to know him personally? When he drops in on us daily. When he becomes a part of our family. When he dines with us. When he rests his weary feet in our homes. When he chooses to continue his Tavam in our home. When he calls over and sees his devotees at our home. 

All these has taken place now. From Salokyam or living in a world created by him as in Sariyai, seeing and worshipping him externally, Agathiyar came to us Sameepam or very very close as in Kriyai. He stood in our thoughts. He stood in our actions. He began to speak through others. He then held our hands as we ventured into Yogam or Sarupam, taking on his soul and form. As Gnanam dawns arising from these mystifying experiences, we enter a state of Sayujyam. Sivavakiyar mentions these four paths or Neri as relative states of Moksha. After traveling 22 years, he has me drop everything and do nothing. 

Traveling with Agathiyar we have learned to drop our own desires, likes and dislikes. These were what initiated this cycle of death and birth in the very first place. Coming to him, he made us realize the effect of our past karma on the present and its possible influence in the future. He gave us the tools to cut asunder the chain of action and its corresponding results. With the aid of Tapas or Tavam or austerity, devotion or Bhakti and service and doing Dharma or charitable acts, we can convert the harm to goodness. Bringing change for the better, we moved forward accumulating good merits that would help shadow or offset our liabilities.

Agathiyar has shown us that beginning with devotion and worship towards him, 

• we can gain his blessings and grace; 
• we can bring him from his abode in Pothigai into our homes; 
• we can bring him into the very statue or picture that we use to worship him; 
• we can bring him to reside in our homes, and 
• bring him to reside within too. 

After calling us to his path, he led us through Sariyai, Kriyai, and Yogam, dissipating the knowledge and techniques through gurus and Upagurus. Then he and Ramalinga Adigal come to lead us on into Pranayama and meditation, refining the technique we had picked up from Tavayogi, showing us the means to overcome difficulties and obstacles faced along the way. Ramalinga Adigal brought us hope and assurance, asking us to stick by Agathiyar who he promised shall remove the curtain or veil that comes between us and God. He wants us to become a Siddha too. I believe this would be his wish for us. 

AGATHIYAR PART 1

It has been a long journey both Agathiyar and I agreed. If I thought the twenty-two years, I was with him was long, he tells me that we were together for crores of years. We sure differ on time space. Where does he reside? What does he do? Who is he? Even after these many years worshipping him I am not close to finding answers to these questions as yet. He is still a mystery. Wanting to know from, as they say the horse's mouth, Surendran posed the question of his origin expecting him to answer in the Nadi. Though he asked us not to investigate the source and asked of what use shall it be to us now, the most compassionate and loving father stopped short of giving some hints that endorsed parts of what Dr Mandayam Kumar from the Siddha Medical Research Institute in Bangalore and P. Karthigayan in his "History of Medical and Spiritual Sciences of Siddhas of Tamil Nadu", wrote. The latter quotes Bhogar as having mentioned that Agathiyar was from a family of farmers. This little-known fact was mentioned too by Agathiyar in the Nadi reading for AVM. 

The Dr gives a short narrative about Agathiyar at http://www.tknsiddha.com/medicine/origin/ and in another article of his, "Siddha Agastya – Foremost of the Siddhas".

Agathiyar was said to have been born about 4573 years prior to the commencement of Kali Yuga at a place in Gujarat, in the early hours of Tuesday, 14 February 7673 BC. Belonging to the early Aryan race, his father Bhargava was well-learned while his mother Indumathi was from Punjab. They were both devotees of the Pasupatha order of Rishabha Muni. Agathiyar had his early education in Gujarat. 

As his thirst for knowledge in particular on philosophy, yoga, medicine, and astronomy was immense, he traveled all over Kashmir, Tibet, China, Nepal, and Kailas which was deemed to be in Manchuria during that time. While the Dr writes that he became a disciple of Nandi and Dhanvantri, P. Karthigayan writes Agathiyar had many mentors including (Lord) Siva and (Lord) Kumaran and an equal number of disciples. Agathiyar in his search for knowledge approached many people from various communities, finally picked up the yogic way, and excelled in it. On achieving the inner glow, he took on the name Agathiyar.

The Dr writes that he then traveled towards the south to Cambodia where he established the very first of his many educational institutions for the propagation of philosophy and science. He then arrived in Malaya (present-day Malaysia). After establishing a similar institution and hospital in Malaya, he crossed the sea to the continent of Kumari Kandam that extended from present-day Sri Lanka to the Antarctic. King Ravana, a great devotee of Lord Shiva, who ruled this continent gave away a portion of his kingdom to Agathiyar to establish more institutions. Agathiyar taught Yoga to his large following of disciples at Arunodaya Giri or Meozone in this region.

If the Dr writes that he then went back north to Malaya where he was betrothed to the king’s daughter, Pa. Kamalakannan in "Cittar Uruvil Shivaperuman", Vanathi Pathippakam, 2007, says Agathiyar married Yasomadhi from Cambodia. Among his children who ruled the land, Yasovarma became a famous ruler.

The Dr continues. Agathiyar then ruled the kingdom of Vijayapuri. He returned to Kumari Kandam where he met Lord Murugan in the form of Supramaniar at Trikona Malai (present-day Trincomali). At the hill station called Kadari Kama or Kadhirgama, Lord Murugan imparted spiritual knowledge to Agathiyar. 

Agathiyar could see impending calamities take place in the future during his meditation. As a result, he moved to the North Pole considering it to be a safe place. This period of his move to the Arctic was said to coincide with the end of the Dwapara Yuga placed at about 6580 BC. Just as he had seen an impending calamity and had decided to move north, a tremendous explosion on the planet Mars sends a piece of debris toward Earth. This impact caused a great deluge on Earth. Significant portions of Kumari Kandam submerged into the Indian Ocean. Continental drift then resulted in the present-day arrangement of this region. After the great flood, the Himalayan Mountain range emerged in North India. Amidst all these geographical changes, Agathiyar went seeking a place that would not be affected by future calamities. He located a mountain range in South India. This is the present-day Courtalam. This spot is said to be the safest place and free from any future catastrophes. 

Agathiyar met Lord Dhakshinamurthi, Shenbaga Devi, and Lord Murugan, at Mahadeva Giri in Courtalam. This meeting also signified the commencement of Kali Yuga. Other Siddhas then started coming to Mahadeva Giri. Lord Dhakshinamurthi revived the knowledge of the Vedas and instructed these Siddhas to propagate this knowledge in the appropriate manner and time for the benefit of humanity. The imparting of this knowledge was said to have taken place on the 21st day of the Tamil month of Kartigai, during the eleventh year, Eswara Samvatsara, of Kali Yuga. Agathiyar gave much importance to this day. All his dating was reckoned from this day. 

After extensive discussions held in Alagan Kulam, the Siddhas recorded their knowledge on palm leaves and presented them to Lord Dhakshinamurthi for his perusal. This included the 64 kinds of learning, 18 Puranas, 96 tattvas, and 48 branches of scientific knowledge. Agathiyar on the instruction of Lord Murugan originated the Tamil language. The "Siddhaveda" came to be written. It was then translated into the four existing languages of that period which were Sanskrit, Greek, Hebrew, and Chinese. 

Bhogar from China (Agathiyar in the Jeeva Nadi revelation to Hanumathdasan of Chennai says Bhogar was from Mongolia), Thaeraiyar from Malaya, Yugimuni from Kerala, Pulipani from Kantha Malai, and Pulastyar, and Kapiyar all served Agathiyar. A conference of Siddhas called Siddhar Sabai was held during the 53rd year, Siddharti Samvatsara, of Kali Yuga at Courtalam. An institution known as Siddhar Gnana Koodam was inaugurated by Lord Murugan and was headed by Agathiyar. 

• Pulastyar and Kapiyar headed the literary section while 
• Pulipani headed research. 
• Thaeraiyar an exponent in surgery headed a medical research center established at Thorana Malai. 
• Yugimuni who was into herbal medicines headed an Ayurvedic hospital at Paradesi Kundai. 
• Bhogar who was in charge of all scientific research established an alchemy research center at Tiruparankundram. 
• Pambatti headed a team researching venom at Marudamalai. 

After having established these institutions The Dr writes that Agathiyar again started on an extensive mission of propagating the wealth of knowledge gained by these Siddhas in Tibet, Manchuria, Egypt, Palestine, Rome, America, Africa, Malaya, and the Arab world. After satisfactorily completing their mission of propagating the said teachings the Siddhas went into samadhi merging themselves into the cosmos. Supramaniar went into samadhi in Thorana Malai, Bhogar in Palani, Thaeraiyar, Pulipani, and Yugimuni in Kantha Malai and Agathiyar himself choose to come back to Courtalam. He chose a spot called Dhashina Meru in the Pothigai hills. This spot is also the abode of Dhakshinamurthi.

P. Karthigayan lists out an extensive list of Agathiyar's contributions towards the community and humanity, hence receiving the famed title Gurumuni or great mentor. P. Karthigayan dates Agathiyar's achievements accordingly as pre- and post-Sanga period, whence the establishment of the Sangam or literary academia took place. If during his pre-Sanga days, he was into yogic practices, after the establishment of the Sanga, in his post-Sanga years, he concentrated on medicine and science. He established more Sangams and monasteries, pioneered and promoted the Tamil script and Tamil grammar, collected and compiled the works of the Siddhas and published them, streamlined the Siva faith, and spread the Siddha Marga, and exposed the false teachings, in total bringing a Renaissance. His greatest achievement was his ability to live for four eons, at the time of mention in writing by Bhogar, and still lives among us in present times. Agathiyar is said to have "given rise to 48 generations."

M. Govindan in "Babaji and the 18 Siddha Kriya Yoga tradition", Kriya Yoga Publications, Quebec, Canada, 1991, details Agathiyar's journey as starting at Agastya Ashram near Nasik (Pancavati in ancient times), married King Vidarbha’s daughter Lobhamudra, (mentioned in the Mahabharata), and meet up with Rama. Then his pilgrimage takes him south where he has a residence at Malakuta near Badami (ancient Vatapi Puram or Dakshina Kasi) in the northern part of present-day Karnataka. He then comes further south to the Pothigai Hills. He moves on to the Indonesian islands, the islands of Borneo, and takes up residence in Maha Malaya hill in Malaya Dvipa. He enters Siam (present-day Thailand) and Cambodia where he marries Yasomadhi. They beget a young prince named Yasovarma. Agathiyar is reported to be living until the present day at Courtalam.

Pon. Govindaswamy in his book, "Sirsabaiyum Porsabaiyum", Bharath Book Bureau, 1985, mentions that when the south tip had raised after all the Gods and Goddesses, Devas and Devis, Siddhas, Rishis, Munis, and many more deities and divinities gathered at Kailash to witness Lord Shiva's marriage to Goddess Parvathi, Agathiyar was sent to the south to bring about a balance. Pon. Govindaswamy in his book, "Vallalarum Bramagnana Sangamum", Bharath Book Bureau, calls this event where the earth tilted a Mystical Occult Event. This event is mentioned by Tirumular in his Tirumanthiram. He writes that Agathiyar took birth as Valluvar and gave us the "Tirukural" besides other texts. He mentions that Agathiyar took birth as Ramalinga Adigal in the 19th century and gave us the "Tiruarutpa". 

Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar in his book, "Potrinal Unathu Vinai Agalum Appa", explains the transformation which Agathiyar went through to attain the highest state, that of becoming one with Erai. I shall run through a translation of his writing, originally in Tamil, briefly. 

This state was granted to Agathiyar by his Guru Supramaniar (Lord Muruga) because Agathiyar had provided the space, shelter, and all comforts for Supramaniar to carry on with his penances (tapas) and austerities (tavam) in a past birth. Agathiyar was 60 years of age then when Supramaniar attained the body of Light through his tapas, thanks to Agathiyar looking after all of Supramaniar's needs. Agathiyar mentions that he learned the Siddha way from Supramaniar. Supramaniar promised Agathiyar that they shall meet in a subsequent birth and that he shall return the favor. In that birth, Agathiyar traveled in vain in search of his ideal guru. As foretold in the earlier birth, Agathiyar eventually met Supramaniar at Kodaikanal, where Supramaniar made him recall the past and as promised in return for all his services in the past birth, blessed Agathiyar and taught him secrets of attaining the state of Erai. Supramaniar granted Agathiyar the body of Light or Jothi Nilai as promised as an appreciation of Agathiyar's service rendered to him and for helping Supramaniar himself achieve his desire in attaining the Jothi Nilai. 

Agathiyar began by performing puja to Supramaniar. By way of devotion to Supramaniar he began to realize that he had had the greatest gift, which was the human birth, which comes by very rarely. Through Supramaniar he came to know himself and the divinity that resided in the physical body. He understood the very Nature that brought him forth and resided within him. With Supramaniar's guidance and blessings, Agathiyar relished the ambrosia or nectar that came about through his tapas. This removed the seven veils to reveal the Jothi in him, hence attaining the body of Light. With this came Bliss, Siddhis, and the state of Deathless-ness. Agathiyar attained the five nature or Tanmai of Erai namely Creation, Sustenance, Destruction, Veiling, and Showering Grace. Supramaniar granted Agathiyar the title Gurumuni and Kumbamuni and sent him off to spread the Siddha way extensively all over the globe, bringing many into his fold. All the Siddhas soon looked upon Agathiyar as their Guru. Later at the Tamil Sangam Agathiyar presented before the assembly of Gods and Goddesses, the Sages, Siddhas, Rishis, and Munis, the Five Tenets that defined man's purpose in taking birth.

There we have it. So many versions of Agathiyar's origin. I guess this is the reason Agathiyar cautioned us as to wanting to know his origin before giving us the hint. His story is varied and expansive. Now let us hear from the man himself as he revealed to Surendran in his Nadi. (His)story goes as follows.

Agathiyar in his very first mortal birth, had the vision of Kailash at a very young age of 10. After having the vision, he took up extreme tapas (Tavam) including breath control. With the holy feet of the Sadguru forever in his thought, he reached a state of Nirmala at Kailash. Upon receiving theecha from Lord Kailai Shiva, he was blessed to be born a Siddha. As it was a mystical birth, Agathiyar tells us it is not necessary to dwell into the source and the details (Rishimulam Nadhimulam).

Born as a Siddha and moving in the jungles, sustaining only on fruits, his thoughts were fixed on Erai (God). He soon had the vision and grace of Goddess Vana Kali. Continuing with his seeking and search for realization and further severe Tavam in Pothigai, Agathiyar came to know about the medicinal benefits of various herbs and plants. Lord Kailai Shiva showed himself in a vision and conferred on him the names Gurumuni, Kudamuni, and Kumbamuni. 

Though he had merged with Erai, Agathiyar stayed on at Pothigai upon Lord Kailai Shiva's directive. Time went by as Agathiyar went without food, remained in silence, stayed in the state of Vasi, adhered to the eight limbs of Ashtanga Yoga, and performed extreme tapas for the rest of the Yuga. He gained the Siddhi to travel through the air. 

Having achieved so much, yet Lord Kailai Shiva told Agathiyar that there was something that he had failed to accomplish and do. When Agathiyar asked for further clarification, Lord Kailai Shiva laugh and looked him in the eye, and said, "Although you are an embodiment of Jnana, and those who hold on to your feet shall never face any disappointments, Gurumuni you do not have a companion as I do." Agathiyar was taken aback. He came to know that the Lord intended to get him engaged to the very representation of Mother Kaveri, and Kaberan's daughter, Lobamutrai. Hence in this Kali Yuga, his energy that was of Shiv Sakthi came to reside at Kalyana Theertam with the intention of blessing all those who saw him and Lobha Ma as a personification of Shiv Sakthi.

Have we come any closer to knowing him by knowing his story? I doubt it. Just as clothes do not make a man, knowing (his)tory would not maketh him. The only way to know the man is to live like him. The only way to know the man is to bring his soul to live in us. The only way to know the man is to carry his teachings. The only way to know the man is to put into practice his techniques and methods. 

TEARING DOWN THE WALL

Speaking to someone whose family reestablished the lost years of paying homage to their chosen form of what is normally labeled as "lesser deities" that began with their grandfather but was not carried out by the father due to logistic restraints as the family stayed in government quarters throughout his working career, he told me that the deity came in a dream asking him to revive the worship again. Consulting his mother after the dream she filled him in on what had taken place and why the worship had stalled. They have an altar for the deity on the porch of their homes now. Like him, I have come to see many take up this path. 

Then we see others who are comfortable visiting the temples on Tuesdays and Fridays and on other auspicious days such as today. There was a good turnup this morning at a Mariamman temple in Rinching 6 where devotees paid homage to Lord Vinayagar. As today is Vinayagar Chaturthi and as I was with my grandchildren the past few days, I took them over to the temple in their locality and the kids asked to light the ghee lamps. When I asked my three-year-old to sing, he sang the "Happy Birthday Song and Old MacDonald Had a Farm" nursery rhyme before Lord Ganapathy, screaming his heart out. I let him be. Since we told him it was Lord Ganapathy's birthday I guess he thought it was right to wish him by singing him the Birthday Song. His sisters aged seven and four though, who used to sing at home became reserved in public and chose not to sing. Some turn up on other days too if they are told to light lamps and offer prayers to the ruling Gods of the planets. Agathiyar told my daughter recently to light a lamp every Thursday for nine consecutive weeks for my grandson and they have started doing it. 

Then there are those who take a living guru or one who has passed on and worship him or her, attending Satsangs and pujas at centers that are noted for their worship. They leave to come back the following Thursday as it is the day for the guru. It goes on and on.

Then a rare few worship the Siddhas creating a following and a center to accommodate them. They keep adding on to the puja and their activities thinking that it shall please the Siddhas. This too keeps going on and on.

People just kept doing things that either were started by their ancestors and parents, their gurus, or followed their peers and comrades on the path. They are joined by many others. They pass these on to the next generation. 

Tavayogi upon arriving on our shores told me that people here were hooked to Bakthi and asked when they are going to come to Gnanam. He personally told me that I was living in Maya thinking that the saffron-clad mendicant or Turavi had something up his sleeves. He told me that he was a nobody and not a holy man and not to be deceived by the attire, looks, and talk. He asked that I look within myself for the Jothi or Light that resides as our inner Self. He chose to hashtag it Agathiyar. Agathiyar has come to acknowledge this truth through giving us his latest memo last Guru Purnima. We are one and the One he says. We need not look further. He resides in us and we in him. That is the nature of the Prapanjam too. He is the Prapanjam and the Prapanjam is in him too.

But to the public and at public forums where Tavayogi took the stage, he spoke the same elementary things that prompted me to ask him why he was repeating them. As usual, he replied with another question, "Are you (the public) listening to what I have been saying all this while. It is only if you listen adopt and follow that I can move on to the next stage", reminding us that it is only if we understand and comprehend the subject taught that the teacher moves on to the next topic or syllabus. After years of puja and showering praises on him, Agathiyar too told me to stop praising him and instead share my experiences in traveling within with readers some time back. 

When I was with Tavayogi I told him that I wanted to see Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal. He replied telling me that they would easily come but continued with a question asking if that was what I wanted. I did not understand back then his question as I did not understand many other statements, he made in passing too. Today I understand that it is not important to see them, expecting visions, and encounters with them. We should ask ourselves "What after that?" We would share it with others and speak about it for life. But is that what we came for, to have a Darshan of God? Or should we become God? Acharya Gurudasan whom we call fondly Master Gowri Varadhan says the same. 

When then do we take the next bus to the next destination? It is time to move on from the external as with Sariyai and Kriyai to Yoga which brings us on the internal journey of realization or attaining Gnanam. Agathiyar is indeed desperate and adamant that we should claim our birthright or rather soul right to head back to our Lord's kingdom within us. But who is listening, he laments to us. People settle for the norm of the day and are not willing to go further. We are glad that Agathiyar brought a halt to all our practices and activities and left us doing nothing for otherwise we too would carry on endlessly thinking that this was what is expected of us. Only the courageous like Bharathi and Ramalinga Adigal shall walk the terrain and seek to know his purpose here. 

DROP ALL & SETTLE IN THE PIN DROP SILENCE

It is saddening to see that we are all stuck in doing what we are programmed by others or are trained to do for the rest of our lives by our elders, our society, and our surroundings. We put on a face that society expects of us. We are not willing to drop the beliefs and practices that we picked up often rallied around superstition, along the way to take on new knowledge and teachings. With time we begin to settle and become comfortable with these routines that we have come to engage in. It becomes a habit that turns into our society's image, representation, and form. We are then known for it and known by it. Much of what we did is routine in nature, as Tavayogi says, our great grandparents did, our grandparents did too, our parents followed suit and we carry on the legacy, leaving it behind to our children and theirs too. 

Our soul eventually goes into hiding as we become robotic in nature. It does not get expressed or is given leeway by way of expression. It is tugged within layers upon layers of blankets. We need to drop all our hold to be able to remove these blankets and expose the soul. It is truly a testing moment for many when asked to drop the position and authority that comes with it which they hold dearly too. It is truly a testing moment to be asked to drop that which we cherish most. It is truly a testing moment when we are asked to shed our desires and become a vacuum. Agathiyar has taught us well to learn first and drop that learning later too. It is only by dropping what we cherish most that we can come to receive more. The Prapanjam shall then shower its givings on us. This is how the Siddhas and Nayanmars summon the Gods to do their will or rather satisfy our pleadings. Doors open, hearts open and the heavens then open. Agathiyar had told me in the Nadi that the skies shall open up both at AVM and Kallar during his Jayanthi puja. It is only when we are empty that the Prapanjam can fill us up. Henceforth all our actions would not carry Karma for it is gifted or given. We remain mere tools to execute the divine plan. 

KNOWING THE REAL PICTURE

When I went to Konganars cave in Uthiyur with Tavayogi in 2005 there was only an empty cave but when I returned there with the AVM family in 2016 there were remnants of lamps lit up and left behind, an oil spill, and a painting of Konganar. Similarly, when I went to the Sri Shiva Shanmugar Cave Temple or Gua Kelawar in Sungai Siput the first time around there were already buntings with paintings of Siddhas left hanging around. Later, when I and the AVM family and others chartered a bus to visit the cave temple en route to several other religious destinations, statues made of cement lined up the corridors of this cave. There was more when I went over with my daughter and her children later. I understand now that the granite statues of the 18 Siddhas are to be placed here. Maybe I made a mistake too in promoting the place after my visits. The moment we learn of the sacredness of a place people throng to it. The next instant someone takes the initiative to place statues or paintings of deities and gurus. I guess this is how the temples came to evolve. Rituals then begin to take precedence and are given priority. Money has to be sourced to pay the priests, hold events, and upkeep of these temples. There then comes all the other problems related to administering these places efficiently. With man invading these places he would begin to litter them too. 

I am glad that I did not fall for the game one of many Agathiyar threw on my path. He asked that I build him a temple when I read my very first Nadi reading in 2002. I became excited thinking that I was the special one. But the very next moment the 24-year-old Sivabalan told this 43-year-old not to become elated. He dropped the bombshell. He told me Agathiyar had requested fifty others too. But since none did it he told me to pursue it. I began to look around for existing temples to allow me to erect his shrine but none allowed. I dropped my venture. Later when my first guru Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai initiated the idea to build a temple for Lord Murugan I went out to help him. But just after we acquired the land and put up his kudil, a stranger came along and confronted him asking why he was taking a step back into Bhakti when he was a Gnani. He dropped the whole project. Later when Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Agathiyar Gnana Peedham came along wanting to rebuild his temple and ashram that was falling apart, I volunteered to join many in helping him fulfill Agathiyar's dream too. But as he always spoke about moving into Gnanam from Bakti I asked him why he wanted to pursue this mission. He told me it was for the people. Fine. Then in 2018 Lord Murugan in a Nadi reading asked me for a temple. I questioned the need for it since there were so many for him silently within me. But almost immediately as if he read my mind, he spoke in the Nadi telling me that I shall show him differently. How was I to portray him differently I asked myself. As I did not move he drove Agathiyar to ask me, coming through a devotee at a temple festivity. As I remained silent, Agathiyar told me he would do it then. After the stipulated 18 months that he gave himself, he came in the Nadi telling me that they were only testing me. I apparently had passed the test. 

Mans's desire knows no boundary. He keeps adding on thinking he is doing God a favor and doing us good. But he never for once consults the divine. We might not know, that the moment man enters His premises, god and the gurus in Samadhi might choose to leave the place and their abodes, what with the ruckus that some bring along not considering the other devotees. Agathiyar told us through a Nadi reading some time back to sit in silence and take in the existing prevalent energies that have evolved over time in these sacred spaces due to the presence and austerities of these past saints who chose these places to go into Samadhi. The divine too might not wish to be praised as Agathiyar told me to stop praising him and stop writing about him but to share my experiences with readers thenceforth. He would rejoice if we can attain his state rather than remain a devotee lifelong. But we seem to have missed the message. For that purpose he has me do nothing, nothing at all now.

TAKING TIME OFF

When my grandson arranged all his farm animal toys and began asking who was not his friend, I realized that children give life to inert things. His siblings played cooking dishes and fed their imaginary friends. It made me realize that we adults carry these into our adulthood and practice them, just that these toys and imaginary friends are the deities who the elders have established as Gods and Goddesses over time. Agathiyar in coming to my home as a bronze statue in 2010 told me to give life to an otherwise lifeless piece of metal. He asked us to chant his name which was potent enough to bring his energy within the statue. True enough three years on Agathiyar opened his eyes in this metal statue. How is that possible? 

God too seems to play the same game. And we are his toys. He gives form and breathes life into us. True enough when a longtime devotee of Agathiyar went into a coma and returned after Agathiyar in a Nadi reading asked devotees of Agathiyar to gather and pray, Agathiyar came in the Nadi again later and revealed that he had given his breath to save him. The trick here is to play the game according to his rules or better still let him make the moves for us too. Though it might seem that we do not have a life for ourselves when we surrender completely to him, rest assured that you are in good hands and our purpose in coming here shall be fulfilled. 

This world though it looks real is full of mysteries waiting to be revealed to those who would spare a moment from their busy schedule. We have seen and read that saints took time off from their lives to stay alone and contemplate. Agathiyar revealed a secret recently telling us the reason he wants us to be quiet and silent was that he shall work wonders in us he says. It is in these moments of silence that the divine speaks and fills us in with its treasures. He has asked me to do nothing after several years of intense puja and activities and practices. He wants me to sink into this silence too.

FAITH & BELIEF THRIVES BEYOND LOGIC

So what is real in the world? Reading the Tamil version of the children's story Little Red Riding Hood entitled சிவப்பு ஆங்கிச் சிறுமி published by Mind To Mind (M) Sdn Bhd to my grandchildren yesterday, the eldest questioned why the need for the hunter to place the stones into the stomach of the wolf that he had already ripped opened up and stitch it again when it would have died in the first place. She also asked how could the granny and Little Red Riding Hood survive after being eaten and swallowed? 

"அந்த ஓநாய் அந்தப் பாட்டியை விழுங்கி விட்டது.... சிவப்பு ஆங்கிச் சிறுமியையும் விழுங்கியது.... அந்த வேடன் ஓநாயின் வயிற்றைக் கிழித்தார். சிவப்பு ஆங்கிச் சிறுமியும் பாட்டியும்  வெளியே வந்தனர். அவர்கள் அந்த ஓநாயின் வயிற்றில் கற்களை வைத்துத் தைத்தனர். கண் விழித்த ஓநாய் அங்கிருந்து ஓடியது. அது கீழே விழுந்து இறந்தது."

This seven-year-old has started to think logically. Many children's stories are disastrous if we seriously take a look at them. I quite agreed with my granddaughter too until the story of the Nayanmar saints Sundarar and Sambandar came to mind. Driving by the town of Avinasi with Tavayogi in 2005 he retold Sundarar's story to me too.

At Sundarar | Tamil and Vedas, we read about these miracles further.

Avinasi Lingam went with other boys to a tank to bathe. It was a beautiful lotus tank. Suddenly Avinasi Lingam’s feet were caught by a crocodile and he cried for help. The boy who lived next door to him ran back to town and brought the elders. But Avinasi Lingam disappeared and nobody dared to step into the tank. 

Two years after this incident Sundara visited the Brahmin street where one house was celebrating happily the Punul Kalyanam (Sacred Thread ceremony for the boy), but the opposite house was engulfed in sadness. When he came to know about what happened two years ago, he went straight to the tank and prayed to Lord Siva to return the boy. The crocodile came and spat the boy out. The boy, not only came alive intact but also aged to compensate for the lost two years. 

This is another instance of Time Travel by a Tamil saint. He went back in time by two years and changed the course of “history”.

Sivanesar kept the ashes and bones (of his daughter Poompavai) in an urn after cremating her body. When Sambandhar visited Kapaleeswarar temple in Mylapore, Chennai, Sambandhar asked him to bring the urn containing the ashes and bones. The saint sang a hymn beginning with the Tamil words “Mattitta Punnai”. Even before the saint finished the tenth song, the pot broke open and a beautiful twelve-year-old girl came out and stood before them. 

How do we understand and comprehend these happenings then?

The mystery in the story is that Poompavai had grown since her death. This means Sambandhar went back in time and revived her at that point in time and brought her back with full growth to compensate for the lost years.

The people who wrote about these anecdotes clearly expressed surprise when the boy and the girl were grown to compensate for the years they lost in “death”. If it is an instant revival we can find many reasonable scientific explanations. 

When my wife and I were brought over to the Cave temple in Sungai Siput some years back, the temple priests told us the story of one Mr Krishnan who would sweep the temple grounds while waiting for his son to pray inside the Cave temple. He was not too much of a devotee but just to kill the time he took up the broom and did this service. One day when he had chest pain and was subsequently certified dead at the hospital the temple priest rushed to his side applied the sacred ash on him and sang devotional hymns. To everyone's surprise, he came alive. I met him that day. Another story was told by a friend Sri Jegan of another person coming to life after the sacred ash was applied. Indeed faith and belief thrive beyond logic and scientific explanations.

Agathiyar in coming to us recently asked that I read up the Pathigam "Manthiram Aavathu Neeru" and write on it which I did with my limited knowledge of the language and understanding. Just as a devotee asked me many years ago why we should praise the Siddhas, and my second granddaughter asked me why we should pray to God which I did attempt to answer too, the saints have to come personally to enlighten us and to avoid any misinterpretations. For that to take place we have to reach out to them. Here is where worship begins. 

THE GOAL

We fall short of praying to deities and submitting our requests hoping for them to fulfill our wishes. We never went beyond that. We never realize that beyond all this worship is the fact that the Divine wants us to emulate it in all ways and beyond them. Ramalinga Adigal sings that the Divine stepped aside and had him take over his role. This is only possible when and if we qualify for the job. It is very obvious that Ramalinga Adigal had reached the state of God. So too Agathiyar in coming to us through a recent memo wants us to become him too. The first step here then is to step into the path of worship. Later taking up rituals personally his Tava Kanal or fire of austerities fan the spark of fire that came apart from the source and brought life within him and sustained him till the present day. The fire is fanned further when he takes up Pranayama and Asanas. This reaches a state where the raging fire in him razes the past Karma down to dust. The barren land is now ready to take on a new life and vegetation with the divine showering of his blessings and grace. New life springs and grows under the direct supervision of the Divine forces. He is prepared to take on the role of the Divine. The Divine comes down to meet the Soul that has been empowered. This merger grows and blossoms into a majestic rupture of energy that is representative of the Divine in all aspects. He becomes God. 

THE "LESSER" DEITIES

When I was growing up we used to pray at small home shrines placed outside the residence we stayed in following in the footsteps of our elders. Later we saw others sacrifice small animals to these deities. The mere arrival of these deities used to scare me and I stayed away. Once the deity leaves, we partake in the cooked meat of the sacrificed animal. We knew nothing about this culture and practice but were a witness to these practices. Growing up further I had those rare moments where I stood before them and they would pass on a message or two. Yet I did not understand their stand and place in our religion but accepted them as these followers did. But I made my stand clear telling them that let us not cross paths. Let thy be in your plane and world and me in mine.

With Agathiyar coming through devotees he began to address these deities that seemed to follow some seekers and devotees. When Agathiyar or another Siddha arrives the deities who shadow these few are asked to stay out. There were times when these deities began to address us too. It was all a wonder and a puzzle to me. Soon Agathiyar made me realize that they too were part of creation and to acknowledge them too. Just as in any government or organization where there exists a hierarchy of positions and personals so too it seems to exist in the subtle and unseen realms and worlds. Ramalinga Adigal who according to his later followers claimed asked not to worship these lesser deities surprised us by telling a devotee to see a particular aspect of these deities for help to solve the threat to his job.

Speaking to Mahindren some days ago, we began to get some clues as to the origin and role of these "lesser" deities as they are labeled. These were the souls of men and women who had lived in the past and due to their leadership and sacrifices attained the state of a Deivam or deity in society. People tended to show their gratitude by serving whatever they ate. In the days before farming became extensive, men were practically hunters. They sacrificed animals to appease the unseen forces in these virgin jungles. Soon these practices were brought into the communities, where they served their deities meat too. Sadly they still do to this day. 

Recently Agathiyar and these deities have called on those homes and called upon these hosts and to our surprise asked that they not be served meat. Agathiyar coming through a devotee sent away a few who came on their rounds in the neighborhood sourcing money to host the annual festivity for a deity at a nearby temple, telling them to stop animal sacrifice. These deities too have come through Agathiyar's devotees asking to serve other alternative food and fruits instead. One deity told the host of the festivity to serve a tender coconut instead. 

I asked myself if these souls who turned deities in the eyes of the public were caught in a time warp and trapped in their realm, plane, or worlds are stuck in their past states having no reprieve to take another birth and evolve further? Should not we then stop the practice of serving sacrificed meat to these deities, and help these souls evolve further? Knowing that we are willing to bring changes and are willing to change, maybe they are reaching out to us these days to stop this past mistake that was made in the way past by one man that has become a practice to this day. 

But knowing people could never stop their appetite for meat intake, they shall keep doing these and pursue existing practices in the name of religion and faith. As we cannot change others, let us stay away instead. As we cannot and should not condemn nor stop beliefs and practices held by others, let us pray that these practices might fade away with time. If these deities are here to dish out favors to their seekers for a reward the Siddhas are here to pass on their Gnanam. These followers might need to take several more births to come out of this and come to know about the Siddhas. Only the Siddhas and the deities themselves can bring a change. Let them work subtly in the hearts of people and bring these changes. If we were to confront and were challenged we cannot bring the Siddhas and deities who voiced these concerns to take the stand, right? The laws of the world and day cannot be applied to these subtle and unseen energies. Neither does the world accept and try to understand these mysteries and mystical worlds.

On the same note, those who champion the cause or say they care for the well-being of animals or have pets in their homes or farm animals should logically refrain from hurting another animal, right? So how is it that they can carry on eating the meat of other animals while looking out for others? Should not their compassion and love for their pets or animals of concern extend to reach out to all animals too?

GAINING CLARITY

In recent months I have been having phelgm gather in my throat and the passage between the throat and the nostrils. I thought it could be remnants of the cold that came with my recent Covid infection. When my daughter asked me to accompany her to see Siddha Physician and friend Arivananthan Aiya, I asked him if my Dosas had gone haywire, resulting in excess phelm. He checked my pulse and beat and told me I was pretty fine and my Dosas were balanced. But he did pass me a herbal preparation that he had prepared for his father who faced the same problem. So why did I have an onslaught of phelgm that comes on the moment I retire to sleep and troubled me till 10am the next morning? I consulted the medical doctor and she told me it could most possibly be the backflow due to sinusitis. Fine I could accept that. The answer though came through Nithilan Dhandapani's narrative of Kagabujandar's text. It seems when the heat from the Tava Kanal or austerities and breathing practices rises to the crown of the head, phelgm that I never knew existed in the head drains down into the throat. There I had my answer. This accumulation of phelgm is said to be Yaman or Yama Dharmaraja who takes away lives when the moment of death arrives. Ramalinga Adigal too tells us that it is this phelgm that kills us. 

Kagapujandar also speaks of extremes as in intense sorrow and extreme happiness as we begin to connect with the universe and all of creation. This Agathiyar had cautioned us too when we handed out aid and did charity. He told us not to pity others and stop short of serving them in whatever capacity possible and move on with our life's purpose and not indulge and get caught in others troubles.

The site http://www.thekundaliniyoga.org/siddha_yoga/experiences_stages_of_siddha_yoga.aspx gives a detailed account of the changes that take place within the sadhaka that we too can relate to.

"Depending on the accumulated impressions of his past Karma impressions and the diligence with which he practices meditation (Sadhana) he will likely have amazing spiritual experiences on his way to Self Realization."

Stage One (Arambha-avastha).

"He will feel Prana in everything he touches with his skin. He will get a whiff of Prana in everything he smells with his nose. He will sense Prana in everything he tastes with his tongue. And he will hear the sound of Prana in everything he hears with his ears. In other words, he will begin to sense the entire material universe as manifestations of Prana Shakti."

In short, his senses are enhanced. 

Stage Two (Ghata-avastha).

"The aspirant gradually begins to lose interest in material desires and begins to develop a sense of detachment from worldly attractions. This does not mean that he has to, or will, give up on material things (Samsaric). He may continue to live in the material world if he so chooses, but he will begin to develop a sense of non-attachment to material things."

"While the First Stage results in the aspirant feeling Prana within himself, the Second Stage leads the aspirant to sense Prana in everything.... the aspirant will find himself sensing Prana within and outside himself, not just during Sadhan but at all times."

These are similarly explained by Nithilan reading Kagabunjandar's text.

We have yet to arrive at Stage Three (Parichaya-avastha).

"His perspective of the universe changes to where he constantly sees the universe as nothing but a manifestation of Prana. He sees that oneness in everyone and everything." 

This is what Ramalinga Adigal meant when he told me I shall come to know if the Prana dwells, lives, and travels in me or if I live in the Prana. In other words, its akin to what Agathiyar told us that he was the Prapanjam and the Prapanjam was in him.

"At this stage not only does the aspirant experience the universality of Prana but he is also able to begin to exert control over it. He develops an ability to exhaust all the accumulated Karma of his previous lives without having the necessity to be reborn again and again. As a result he reaches the status of Siddha which enables him to gain extraordinary powers (Siddhis) including the ability to awaken the dormant Kundalini Shakti in others. He achieves his goal of Self-Realization, and having done so, can choose to continue to live in this world as long as he desires or to liberate himself from it at will. He is no longer an “aspirant” but is now a true “Yogi”. Some yogis choose to dwell in this state for extended periods with the goal of helping others achieve Self-Realization. Others move on to the next stage of Liberation (Mukti)."

Agathiyar recently in his second memo to us explained the same saying in attaining the state of Jeevan Mukta where the Individual Soul or Jeeva(Atma) attains Mukti or Salvation, we become Him.

There is yet another stage spoken of that of the Fourth which is Nishpatti-avastha. 

"This is the forth and the final stage of siddha yoga, where the siddha yogi, having achieved Self-Realization liberates himself from the cycle of birth and death. He achieves a state of bliss (Samadhi) where he is completely beyond the physical confines of this universe. He feels neither hunger nor thirst, nor heat nor cold. His Awareness no longer dwells in the material, but constantly resides in Prana. When he chooses to depart from his body he does not need to be reborn and his Awareness stays merged with the Chaitanya forever. He rests in his own essential nature – Self (the Atma-swaroop)"

Mahindren yesterday shared his understanding traveling some 10 years with Agathiyar and listening to the revelation in the latest memo, that Agathiyar showed him God and his nature. We are to imitate God's nature and not adore him. We are to become Agathiyan himself as expressed in the memo.

"Throughout this journey, although the Siddha Guru will always be there for specific guidance, the initiate will be guided automatically by his own awakened Kundalini energy (kundalini is an intelligent cosmic energy that knows about the Siddha yoga sadhak more then the sadhak), especially during the conduct of his siddha sadhan."

When the energy began to rise in me unknowingly and its outcome was explained to me later by Agathiyar, he told me the same when I asked what I should do further and if there was any further practice to adhere to or carry out. He told me that there was none and that the energies will do their work. Today he has me do nothing. He has passed on to Mahindren the responsibility to carry the name Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia and do justice to it.

There is no stored memory or data these days. These days I cannot retain much for it seems I only have Random Access Memory (RAM) and no internal harddisk or SSD. I have to capture immediately the subject and the narrative that comes to mind. It fades away almost instantaneously unless I take notes immediately. I am lucky if I can recall the words and sentences that comes through.

GROWING UP WITH THE SIDDHAS

Mahindren shares his spiritual growth walking with Agathiyar and following his teachings and practices over the span of the last 10 years. It is an amazing growth from one who knew nothing about the Siddhas for a start to having gained their blessings and grace. When many have dropped out of the "race" he is still sustaining the growth. Seeing his eagerness to grow and achieve great heights Agathiyar put a halt temporarily asking him to cater to his new and young family's needs some time back.

Mahindren has now agreed to have his home become Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) thenceforth hosting puja and yoga lessons and arranging hikes to peaks. New blood shall be pumped into AVM as Agathiyar has asked that I withdraw and retire in grace. As Agathiyar tells me to do nothing these days he has passed the baton to a new generation. 

The first puja to inaugurate the move shall be carried out at AVM at his home in Lenggeng, Negeri Sembilan on Sunday 22 September 2024.

THE SIDDHA WAY

Just as in any administration or office there are those who work hard to reach the top and there are also those who talk their way up, so is it with the spiritual path. But the Siddhas truly put us to the test to arrive there. 

The idea of a Siddha revealing our past and giving us remedies is to make us atone and regret our past mistakes and never repeat them. But most of us carry out the remedies and go back to doing all the things we did before. This defeats the purpose of seeking the Nadi for solutions. It is akin to turning a deaf ear. Agathiyar says that only when one regrets his actions and repents that his Karma is wiped out in its entirety. No amount of remedies, puja, and pilgrimage to holy places would cleanse us. 

The next step would be to forgive oneself. Only then does the divine forgive us. Next comes surrender first to his course and dropping our likes and dislikes. Then there comes total surrender to him where thenceforth the divine now charts the course. He is the captain and we are passengers on his boat. Accept whatever comes our way. Carry out his directives. And all shall be fine. One has to become a child once more. When the child asks her father to toss her into the air she does not hold on to anything, not even him knowing that he shall catch her. That is how we must approach God. But man's ego feels threatened that he is losing his grip and control in life. He has been in charge all this while and he feels threatened to lose his hold. Agathiyar taught us to even drop our hold and attention to him and his images that we hold on to dearly too. Only then can we progress to begin to see him in everything. This shall be the tail end of the journey then. 

Both Agathiyar and I agreed that it has been a long journey. To me, I only remember this short lifespan of 65 years. He remembers us being together crores of lifetimes he says. We have apparently journeyed together. But I never learned I suppose. So I had to come back again and again and again and again and...... When shall this end? It ends when each of us become him, Agathiyan, a Jeevan Mukta. That was the message he gave us several days before my 60th wedding and asked me to share it with those who turned up for the big day and to readers of this blog and viewers of my YouTube channel.

CONVERSATIONS WITH AGATHIYAR

Listen to these conversations and their revelations only if you have walked the path of the Siddhas for some time now, leaving Sariyai and Kriyai behind. If your beliefs and hold on religious practices, customs, and traditions are unwavering, steadfast, and tight, you are advised to stay clear for the time being till you eventually arrive here. This is a burst of Gnanam as a result of Yogam put into practice, that tears down all our previous understanding and brings us to a state of vacuum and emptiness or Verumai. The gross does not hold water or ground anymore. We merge with the fire and the wind. We remain in the space of emptiness or Vethaveli. There is nothing further to do or achieve. We are existence itself. 

Agathiyar who pulled us away from Sariyai which was introduced to us as a kid in the 60s, started us into the other phases as in Kriyai and Yogam with the coming of  Tavayogi in 2005. He dropped this bombshell on 19 February this year, making it clear and known that all the previous means, ways, methods, and practices were only aids, tools, and crutches to walk the path and not the path itself, in a revelation or rather conversation with us. The Gnana Kanal or Fire of Divine Knowledge that follows and comes as a result of Tava Kanal or the Fire of Austerities burns down all our former acquired knowledge. The very home is burnt to the ground so that we can never reassemble it back to its previous state. No chance at all. He makes sure of it. We are reborn. We take rebirth not in another life but in this very life. We stand to watch the Self arise from these ashes.