BLIND FAITH

Is it wrong to have blind faith - belief without true understanding, perception, or discrimination? 

There are so many things out there that we take for granted and no one told us it was wrong. For one we do not try to understand how a smartphone works before using it, do we? We do not go into the mechanics of the car or automobile before driving off. We do not try to understand what is going to happen to the food that is ingested while we eat, instead we savor and enjoy the meal.

But when it comes to spiritualism, religion, tradition and custom, we are bombarded with so many questions even before one begins. One wants a clear understanding before embarking on a spiritual endeavor, regime or practice. Would not it be better to indulge in it and experience and see the fruits of our efforts for ourselves.

I had given my birth details and had my horoscope chart prepared and revealed before, through several astrologers, in the privacy of their homes or offices; I have had the parrot pick a card from a pack and have its owner reveal my stars under the sky, on the five foot way in the streets of the bustling city; I have showed strangers my palm and have had a reading of my fate and destiny before, again amidst the chaos and noise of the city; I have had people throw small conch shaped shells and deduce the present from how the shells fell after been shaken and thrown to the ground, right in the midst of the public; and I have shaken a can of bamboo sticks on which was written numerals till the one that dropped off the can was referred to a large book of fate and destiny in Chinese characters, amidst the wind chimes and bells ringing at a Chinese temple. I did not investigate these means of prediction.

Then there was a time, a period of 14 years where I stayed away from all forms of worship, reading and following, not that I had lost faith in my religion but I did not get answers to the questions that kept arising within me, seeing the turn of events and tragic happenings taking place around me, reaching out and reading all the spiritual books I could lay my hands on, that further confused me. Then Lord Shiva came in my dream and literally told me to take a break. He told me to keep my questions for a later date. I did just that. I dropped everything.

Then in 2001 I guess the time was right for me to begin my journey of discovery for my nephew turned up at my home with a mantra and certain regimes that I had to follow, courtesy of the heavenly father. He told me all this was in preparation to meet my guru. He told me he was only a tool to deliver the message and asked me not to question its source. Without further questions, without any doubt and suspicion, and without further ado, I did as told. I did not investigate these messages given in private.

The prophesy that my nephew delivered took place in 2003. I met my very first guru Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai.

Meanwhile a year later in 2002, I was told to start offering prayers to the Siddhas in the General chapter or Canto during my very first Kaanda Nadi reading. I did not investigate the Nadi reader, nor did I have an understanding of how the Nadi worked. I did not doubt the reader nor was I suspicious of the reading in any way. It never struck my mind that the reading could be manipulated by the reader in my favor or otherwise. I did not go into the depths of my mind to analyse and deduce that the reader could either read my mind, face, body language or fish me for answers through the numerous questions he puts forth. I did not investigate this sacred means of prediction.

On the contrary, I was intrigued to know that such a means of prediction of one's future was available.  

When I sat before Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai he spoke about Annamalaiyar, himself and surprisingly about this garbage that was me. I did not investigate his prophesy.

I could only sit in silence and cry, and cry and cry for the rest of the 5 hours I spent with him, thinking how blessed I was to hear those words. 

The crying did not stop there. I cried when Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal pointed me to Agathiyar's Holy feet, a wooden sandal or Pathugai or Patharatchai kept at the local chapter of his ashram in Batu Caves the very day I met him. He stopped me from falling at his feet telling me that I should only fall at the feet of Agathiyar. That statement broke the banks of the river of tears in me that day.

From then on, I could only cry out at all the sacred places I visited, oblivious to what was going on around me and not understanding why it was happening. I did not investigate why it was happening.

Soon after Agathiyar told me that I should stop crying but instead be blissful, these tearful moments became joyful and blissful. 

Although I have not traveled far, and haven't seen much of other places, Agathiyar brought many well traveled sadhus, swamis and lovely souls, to AVM to share their story with me. We have had Narayan Swami from Kasi step into AVM one day, when NS Shan mentioned about us; we had Balachander Aiya bring over Muthukumar Swamy who was keen to meet us and share his life experiences at Kutralam; we had Kumarsamy Aiya from Anuvavi brought over to AVM by Sri Krishna several times. I did not investigate these Masters.

Non of the masters or swamis came to preach or change things or propose changes at AVM. Instead they spent their time sharing their divine experiences with us.

Then we have AVM family members Balamurugan trek to Kailash in 2011 and Dyalen return from Muktinath recently. Balamurugan gave massages to those in need of one for their ailments at AVM. Masters Uva and Arunan who had trekked to Pothigai peak with Bala Chandran and Dyalen, held regular healing sessions and yoga lessons at AVM. Master Gowri R. Varadhan from Bangalore, now an acharya going by the name Acharya Gurudasan, taught us Kriya Hatha Yoga over several weeks. I did not investigate these Masters.

And of course Tavayogi and Mataji, who initiated and started all of us at AVM graced AVM. I did not investigate my Guru.

There is no form of teaching, discourses, practices or techniques made available here at AVM. What is made available is love, friendship and trust. The AVM family is bonded by these values and off course the ever flowing thought of Agathiyar, his grace and guidance. The AVM family comes together, for Agathiyar, to thank him for all the blessings in life.

If all these summons to blind faith, well then I am happy that my blind faith had delivered me closer to my beloved Father, Agathiyar.