Saturday, 25 September 2021

DARE TO CHANGE?

When I came searching about the Siddhas after Agathiyar in my first Nadi reading told me to come to his path and had me perform the Nadikku Dhanam, (that was a form of making a contribution and paying my respects and tribute to the Nadi and its authors, the Siddhas), where I was introduced to the numerous Siddhas when the Nadi Nool Aasan or reader recited their names, I sought to know more about these mysterious personalities who had kept track and taken note of my numerous births, having documented them and could access this information upon request through the equally mysterious medium of the Nadi or oracle. The first establishment that came to my mind was the Agathiyar Sanmarga Sangam in Dengkil. I reached out to the group of volunteers whom I had seen patiently stand on their feet in public areas collecting donations to feed the hungry. Here was a pearl among the many seashells. I bought books and VCDs of talks by their patron guru Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar. Here was a man who practiced what he preached. The desire to meet him grew in me. I included his Ongkarakudil as a must-see place in the itinerary of my planned trip to India besides the many places Agathiyar wanted me to visit to carry out remedies.

Meanwhile, I looked up other places associated with the name Agathiyar where I could learn from these pioneers in the field, the worship to the Siddhas. Traveling from door to door seeking some sort of enlightenment from those who ran establishments in the name of Agathiyar, I was baffled. I found some had shifted from remaining loyal to Agathiyar to embrace and chant the Arutperunjothi mantra and recite Ramalinga Adigal's Agaval. Others were centered on meditation or doing charity. There were those centers that were seen empty and deserted too. None were into doing either puja or worship to the Siddhas. Frequenting these venues brought me to mingle with fellow seekers. I did not receive good reviews from those who had ventured to know but left later. Those purportedly said to be following the path seemed lost; not knowledgeable; were more Satsang orientated rather than practitioners of the path; kept coming back to gather at these venues as a regime or norm to follow or adhere to, and kept coming for more and more information rather than begin their own journey. Those whom I met vomited what they had heard or read but hardly had any personal experience to share. It was hard to come by one who walked the talk and could furnish verified information through personal experiences. If they had those experiences, it was those of the guru whom they worshipped as God. They expected us to see him the same way. They looked up to these spiritual heads and gurus for answers or to give them that something that they thought they lacked or to fill the void in them or to appease the unknown feeling of yearning in them. I had no place there as Agathiyar had asked me to worship the Siddhas. As they did not satisfy my search I took up the worship of the Siddhas in my home with whatever little I knew and whatever materials I could lay my hands on. I began to look into books. Back then books on the Siddhas were rare to come by in Malaysia. Then they were theoretical and for most parts mythical. But the books published by Ongkarakudil saved the day. I carried on with the recitation of the names of the Siddhas. My solo journey had begun. 

So when I traveled to India to carry out my remedies listed in the Nadi I ticked Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar's Ongkarakudil as a priority and must-stopover. I was greeted by the late Thiru Nadarajah and accorded all due respect. He arranged for me to see the Swami, though he was undergoing tavam or austerity in solitude, after his audience with a couple of businessmen keen to bring solar energy to his ashram complex. I was thrilled to meet him but came back disappointed that I did not get his blessings. He had told me coming to his kudil itself was a blessing. I could not figure out what he meant. I asked myself if I had intruded into his sacred space? I asked myself whether I was not fit to be there? Indeed that is what Agathiyar revealed too after a couple of years. But it was a blessing in a way for I met Supramania Swami in Tiruvannamalai several days later and Tavayogi from Kallar Ashram a couple of years later. Supramania Swami ignited the flame of devotion in me towards the deities and gurus and instilled bhakti and guru bhakti while Tavayogi molded me and nurtured me on the path of the Siddhas. Tavayogi was a man of few words and had me walk the path rather than lecture about it. He took me to the Siddha abodes and caves. He had me engage in charity rituals and yoga. Agathiyar and the other Siddhas came in the Nadi readings and guided me further. Soon many turned up at my home seeking to have a view of AVM Agathiyar in bronze and participate or witness the Siddha puja. I shared my experiences with Supramania Swami and Tavayogi and the subtle teachings that came with it with those gathered at AVM and also carried them in this blog.  

When Agathiyar came recently and told me that he cannot gift me Gnanam or Divine Wisdom and that I had to earn it from practice and by placing effort and gain it from the experiences that came by and when Ramalinga Adigal emphasized the same fact telling me that all obstacles in our path are there to bring on Gnanam, I realize that no guru can give us what is already inherent in us. All they do is expose us to our true Self. They draw the curtain aside and show us the truth.  From there the subsequent experiences that then come our way shall mold us further and reinforce the truth that was shown. If I had thought that the guru comes to elevate us from our present standing and that we shall only do justice to them if we have evolved to higher standing and that would be their wish and desire, I have come to realize that contrary to that a genuine guru comes to have us drop everything! I was made to realize that this is what Agathiyar had meant when I thought the past two years were wasted, in being held captive, that was partly because he had asked us to go within and because of the restrictions in movement due to the pandemic. I was looking for spiritual gains similar to looking towards monetary gains in the material world. I was wrong. There is nothing to gain in this venture for all gains are linked to and shall bring down more karma upon us. Just as we are told to shed or drop karma, the guru comes to help us shed our desires and wishes, our hold on belongings, etc. We are taught to return home a lot lighter both literally and metaphysically. 

Agathiyar in my very first Nadi reading to my bewilderment and surprise laid out the cards in front of me. He had access to my karmic records and was exposing them! And it was all possible from reading my thumbprint! After identifying the category of my thumbprint Nadi Nool Aasan Sentilkumar brought out three stacks of old palm leaves on which were scribbled "words" that he was trained to decipher. Reading them aloud to me, he asked me either to confirm or reject what was read out, reminding me not to reveal anything more. After a tedious session of question and answer, and we were never close to picking out the right Nadi for me, one that precisely carried my life's journey, he told me to come another day. Two weeks later I was back again, sitting with him, and going through a similar session. And there it was, a matching Nadi that I could acknowledge as describing me. Though I had identified it I did not get the full reading. I was asked to come another day for the complete reading. On the designated day I sat with Sentilkumar again and he ran by my life journey as recorded (of the past) and written (for the future) by Agathiyar. My life was no mystery I came to realize. Agathiyar revealed the events till my death. 

Many years later I realized that exceptions were made in very special cases where Agathiyar breaks the norm as he did in the case of my wife. He revealed her Nadi without having to call her over. She was indeed special in his eyes. Over the years I came to a new understanding regarding what was fated and destined and about free will and the extent that we could shape our own lives. I realized that what was said in the Nadi was only one of several possibilities that could actually become a reality if followed and adhered to. If we chose not to pursue in that direction given, a new set of possibilities comes along. Here is where we are given a choice to decide either to listen to the words of the wise or otherwise. 

Over the years I realized that Agathiyar had access to my thoughts too. He was revealing them. Now I really needed Magneto's helmet to protect myself from the onslaught of Agathiyar's vision prying into my private moments and corners of my memories and life. As he said when my thoughts subside his shall emerge, these days I have given in to him and stopped resisting the telepathic attacks from him. This blog has come to emerge as his medium, a result of his thoughts taking precedence over mine. Much has been shared in this blog mostly personal experiences of mine and those who traveled with me. It has been one of a practical journey of walking the path of the Siddhas rather than searching for them in the texts and books or in listening to speeches or through Satsang. When enough merits, experience, and knowledge had been gathered Agathiyar brought a close to it all. He wants us to go within. this is indeed a great challenge. It is truly tough going within. The external journey traveled thus far was much easier. 

I had covered my home puja to the deities in my bachelor days that was an offshoot from the daily worship at the altar of my family home as I grew up. The home puja kept me occupied and kept me company during the years I lived alone as a bachelor away from the family. Then it was brought to an abrupt halt only to be revived by the divine after some 14 years for reasons he knew best. But he kept a tab on me and my journey. Then in 2001, it was time for me to resume my worship of the deities again. He had me know the Siddhas as well and their worship through my first Nadi reading a year later. Today I can safely say that it is in coming to worship the Siddhas that we shall take hold of our lives, otherwise, we shall continue with what we wrongly assume as that which brings joy and happiness. It is in coming to the Siddhas that we learn the rituals and put them into practice. From being passive devotees at temples we become actively involved with doing puja at our homes. Without the aid of the Siddhas, we shall worship the deities till our last breath looking up to them with respect and fear, and never go further in bridging the gap. It is through the Siddhas that we came to interact with the deities. Today the deities keep us company. 

If initially, the Siddhas had us engage in doing charity and rituals, soon they had us drop them and had us engage in yoga. With devotion and compassion established in us, it was time to bring a transformation in the body. The elements and material that make the body was slowly purified by taking purgatives and Kaya Kalpha. The Asudha deham that we inherited evolves into the Sudha deham. The pranayama exercises bring in a constant flow of prana from the prapanjam that transforms the body further into a much subtle form of energy and vibration. The Pranava deham inherited now with the coming of the divine within shall one day switch to Oli deham. This transformation was seen in the Siddhas and most prominently shown to us just some 147 years ago through Ramalinga Adigal. Their wish is to see us take up the way and become one with them. Are there any takers?