When God comes within, love emerges. She sees him in everything and he sees everything through her. What can bring love within? Love for Him. Love for the parents, love for the children and grandchildren moves on to love for God. One then begins to love everyone. One then is one with Prapanjam.
You cannot initially love someone unless you get to be introduced to him first. I was introduced officially to Agathiyar by Tavayogi the moment I was initiated by him into the order. But prior to the initiation and immediately after I read the Nadi in 2002, I had already begun my search for my beloved. Love for him developed in the bosom in due course as we crossed paths while journeying with Tavayogi into the woods and jungles, temples, and caves. I began to have glimpses of his miracles as he interacted with us. Seeking to opt-out of service later, I began to spend more time with him. I fell in love with him completely. Just as a lover is always in one's thoughts he is forever in mine. When I eat a mouthful I ask if he had eaten. In later years I was to learn that Agathiyar loved to cook and feed others and fed himself well too. The reason he took food was to feed and keep alive all the elementals. I was concerned about him, his name, and his prestige. I could not accept anyone deride and ridicule him. If he is hurt I am hurt too. If this was my relationship with Agathiyar, he too spelled the same in the Nadi. He told me to walk tall since I have befriended him. He asked that I shed no tears for then he too shall cry. Here developed a relationship where we took care of each other with him looking over my shoulders and me making sure that I do not tarnish his name. And so the relationship was built and grew between Guru and a Disciple.
Looking back, it all goes back to the day I saw the Nadi. He came to reveal about me in my Pothu Kaandam or General Canto. Looking into my stars he told my past, the present, and the future. My only regret was that he came only when I was 44 years of age. Where was he all that while? Putting this to my guru Tavayogi some three years after the reading when I met him for the first time, he told me to be grateful for at least I have come to know him at that age, though quite late. For the first time, I learned about karma and its effect on us in the Nadi. I too was not spared. The compassionate Agathiyar did not have me live with it but listed out what I should do to eradicate them. The choice was then mine whether to believe in him and karma, and take heed of his words, and carry out the remedies given. This is where the journey that fate had written for me was altered. I could have lived my life as fate dictated. But in seeking the Nadi, Agathiyar showed me a means to know and correct my past. When the past karma is satisfied by atoning for our past actions and doing remedies in the present, a new path opens up right before us. We step into new surroundings moving away and leaving behind what was fated before. Hence I realized the truth in Tavayogi telling each and everyone who comes by to know the reason for his or her sufferings that it was due to their karma and that singing their praise or Siddha potri shall eradicate their past doings. But sadly those who came for a solution or to relieve their pain for that moment never intended to take the hands of the Siddhas for life. They live the same old live walking the same trodden path and coming back for a Nadi reading each time they stumble over something in broad daylight. I did stumble in this life too. But he stood by me either giving me the good sense to keep away and avoid or if I had fallen into it, he lifted me up and kept me away from further danger, the reason being I stuck with him. If I had deserted him, he too would have deserted me.
What was in store for me on the new path that was shown by Agathiyar and that I chose to follow was slowly revealed chapter by chapter through his Aasi Kaandam in later years.
Since I had a prior obligation to my guru Supramania Swami Agathiyar brought me to see him on the pretext of charting the horoscope for my daughter while in India carrying out the remedies. A brief period of discipleship under Supramania Swami changed my life further. I have to thank my wife for initiating the move to see an astrologer to chart the horoscope for my daughter in India during my travels to perform the remedies, for that is how I landed at the doorstep of Supramania Swami seeking to chart my daughter's horoscope.
As Agathiyar revealed my dark secrets from my dark past in my very first Nadi reading, I was ashamed and atoned for it. In heeding his call and taking his advice, watching me carry out the remedies, and taking up the call to come to the path of the Siddhas, he paved the way for another reading some three years later in 2005. He relieved me of the blame and shame in my past doings telling me that it was all his doing and that I needed those experiences. I saw the compassion in him at that moment. He showed me a guru who could lead me further into the rough terrains of the new frontier of the Siddhas that I was set to explore. If I had gone searching for the Siddhas in existing establishments to no avail after my first reading, I was officially ordained into the path when Agathiyar brought Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal to our shores. Tavayogi took charge of me instead of showing me to the local affiliate of his as he originally did, when Agathiyar asked that he initiate me again after having the Nadi reading. Here too I had a choice whether I wanted to heed Agathiyar's directive to leave to see Tavayogi and get initiated again immediately or leave for home and sleep on it. Many years later coming to the present, when Agathiyar switched the mode of delivery of updates revising the version, speaking directly to us through others, he told me then that those assignments, tasks, or remedies done exactly as told and at the precise moment the solution is given, shall result in success. Which means we are responsible for the results of any delays otherwise. I guess we can relate this to the Tamil movie "12 B" which is a spinoff of the English movie "Sliding Doors" where a brief moment of delay in catching the public transport totally changes the course of the lead actor and actress respectively.
I took up Tavayogi's invitation to visit his ashram as did Agathiyar instruct me too in the Nadi. Following on his heels after he left for India, I followed him tracking into the jungles and sleeping in caves that were indeed a new experience for a city dweller.
Agathiyar began to show me the blueprint of my new life but in parts as I visited him for further Aasi readings over time. As I accomplished each assignment to his satisfaction he revealed the next mission, task or practice. He tested me as to my adherence to his directives and instructions and my ability and capability to lead others too on his path. The years following 2002 after I read the Nadi for the very first time, till 2005 saw me travel the path alone seeking and looking up towards the forerunners and pioneers in the field, hungry for any bits and pieces of information on the Siddhas. In 2005 Agathiyar introduced me to Tavayogi. Tavayogi pointed me to another Nadi reader and henceforth the readings continued. Tavayogi lead me on doing rituals and charity. In 2010 when Agathiyar arrived in the form of a bronze statue at my home, he brought other seekers together to converge in my home. Soon in 2013 an exodus of seekers came over roped in by Bala Chandran after reading the Nadi for himself where Agathiyar showed him to my home. My home became Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM). Up till 2019, we were truly busy engaged in conducting rituals and puja at AVM and the temples that recognized Siddha worship. We were engrossed in feeding the hungry and doing charity at other times. But all this came to an abrupt end in 2019 just months before the first cases of the Covid-19 virus were traced in Wunan, China. Agathiyar had had us stay indoors and conduct the puja with the family. To those who were keen, he introduced Yoga and asked them to go within. Few picked up the Yoga Asana and moved on to phase two of their lives.
We do not know what is in store ahead as he reveals the future a page at a time. I pray that what is written in the pages ahead shall bring me closer to the achievement of Ramalinga Adigal. That is enough.