Though I had given up on others who followed on the path, Agathiyar never gave up on them. Though he had me dissolve the small group of followers, and sent them their way to put into practice what was seen and learned at Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM), he never let go of the string placing hope that they shall return to pursue further the goal of becoming a Siddha once they get tired of the temporary and impermanent pleasures in life. In other words, AVM was partially closed permitting only those who took up Yogam as Agathiyar had dictated us to move up from the previous phase of worship and rituals or Sariyai and Kriyai.
But recent events that came to the fore made me want to shut the doors to AVM completely and abstain from answering calls and respond to messages. It saddened me that though some followed the path all these years they kept coming back to Agathiyar to perform miracles. A devotee came for her father in the past, hoping Agathiyar could cure him. Then she came for her husband to be cured. Recently she came for her mother. How long shall this go on? Will she return for her children and herself later? Agathiyar had to knock some sense into her. Then another young lad stood at my door claiming he was following the Siddha path and that he was into meditation. Enquiring further, he told me he never followed but his parents were into the Siddha path. Prodding him further I found out that the parents never worshipped the Siddhas. There was no indication of the Siddhas teachings being followed nor were they aligned to any particular group on the path. Then he quickly added that they read much about the Siddhas and were well informed. Their path stopped at reading about the Siddhas. Then why the false claim? Does a well-informed individual or society replace the need to walk the path living the Siddhar Vazhkai Neri? Then he blurted that he was spiritual too. I asked him in what ways was he spiritual. He could not reply in what sense or how he was spiritual. He had already begun to anger me. To add salt to the wound, he said he never prayed but preferred to meditate. Asking him how long he has been meditating he jolted me off my seat when he replied that he had just started a month ago. I lost my patience with him. I gave him a morsel to eat as he had not taken anything since he woke up and it was late afternoon and sent him off with a "knock" on his head. Tell me now do I really need to go through these cruciating moments of torture? But it looks like I needed that for Agathiyar tells me that it was him who sent the lad over! அவனை அனுப்பியதும் நான் தான். Another curious follower from abroad called me to ask about the most auspicious day for Lord Murugan. Some time back he called to enquire and wanted to contact a particular Nadi reader. His interest from the onset was in dwelling on the mysteries of the Nadi. In both instances, I had to remind him that I had moved on. I told him not to mistake me as being arrogant but I cannot be going back and reliving those moments for others. The reason I share these and other similar stories is not to publicize others' flaws and project myself as a saint but to remind myself and maybe one or two readers out there who profess the same of how we have begun to see the Siddhas merely as shamans and medicine men, and as astrologers forgeting that they are here to lead us to gaining and attaining the state of Gnana.
For those who ask about my adventures traveling the path or seeking to know the path, these days I point them to the blog postings instead. I tell them it is all there. Many I have come to understand want to hear it told rather than read. Reading has become a tiring and time-consuming chore for them I guess. An audiobook would be a blessing to those. Prior to these events that took place in the last few days, I had to stomach questions like, "What did you gain by coming to worship the Siddhas? Could it be that you are hallucinating thinking that Agathiyar was speaking to you?" etc in the past. The recent spate of events was the last straw that broke the camel's back. Hence I decided to wind up my act and bring the shutters down on AVM for good.
Discussing my intent with Mahin and sharing my sadness at the current state of affairs of others who just refuse to change, grow, and transform, Agathiyar came to ask that I drop the idea of going into hibernation. Agathiyar reminded me a second time not to close the shutters. He asked me to defer my decision to close shop. He wants AVM to remain open for he says it is his alayam or temple. I am surprised for my home does not have high walls, towering towers, minarets nor an inner sanctum, and is not the least anything like a temple in structure. It doesn't even have a signboard indicating or announcing it to be a temple, peedham, or movement. Many have stood at my door and returned disappointed expecting it to be a center. I tell them that they were wrong in assuming it was a center. It is just a standard home of a family man that I had invested in 1991 in a once quiet neighborhood of terrace-linked homes. Although no rituals were done the past two years, as Agathiyar had brought an end to it all and the lamp is not lit as I am staying with my daughter and grandchildren currently, yet Agathiyar considers it his alayam. How can that be? Discussing this with Suren over the phone, he tells me all the effort and puja done the past 20 years had gone into making the place a temple. Though all the gatherings and puja have stopped for good, the place still retains the vibes as each time I go back and take a step within my home I sense his presence even after a long absence. Agathiyar who prompted me to retire optionally in 2016, so that I could engage full time in puja and charity, has other plans for me and did not want me to retire within just as yet.
Agathiyar tells me clearly why I can't close shop just as yet again, telling me that on the personal front, I needed to evolve further Bodily, in Soul and Spirit. Just as he never gave up on others, telling me that they shall come around once they lose their attention on worldly things, Agathiyar never gave up on me telling me that he was still working on me. I needed to evolve further in Body, Soul, and Spirit he says. For this to take place I needed to go through and experience the desired bodily changes required to reach within and know the Soul, and eventually identify with the Spirit that keeps us alive. This was what was currently on my agenda drafted by Agathiyar.
Having learned officially Yoga from Tavayogi when he was in Malaysia in 2008 after pursuing them learning from books for years, Agathiyar speaks about this initiation into Yogam in my 26th Nadi reading on 25.4.2008. He mentions my meeting Tavayogi. He talks about the prayers conducted during the Chitra Pornami Festival. He asks that I continue my prayers. He talks about his path. He mentions that it was a treasure that Tavayogi had given us by way of teaching us Asanas and Pranayama. Watching Tavayogi do them, we were surprised by the volume of air that he could take in and belt out, compared to our shallow breathing. Watch Tavayogi demonstrate the Yoga techniques to disciples in Malaysia at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTjr12CUqQE&feature=youtu.be
After some practice, I too saw its amazing effects. I realized the increased capacity in me to take in a larger volume of air than usual into my lungs and subsequently take in a larger quantity of prana that came to a heightened state where I sensed as if my body would explode. But the feeling was beautiful.
After Tavayogi set us on doing Yoga, Pathanjali came immediately in the next reading on 18.5.2008 to elaborate on the appropriate diet that would be conducive to seeing the desired results of our Yoga practice. He advises on the kind of food to consume. He asks that I stay on this path. He reveals his Yoga. He asks to continue the Asana and Pranayama practices and prayers too. Pathanjali too mentions that prayers (puja), meditation (tavam), and Yoga can overcome Karma. He instructs me to spread the teachings of the Siddhas.
As I diligently carried out what was taught, Agathiyar came on 30.9.2008 endorsing the practice as faultless and extolling the benefits of Pranayama.
தவம் அதுவும் முறையாகச் செய்வாய் இப்போ. தான் அதிலே பிழை ஏது குறை ஏது. தன் தவத்தால் தன் குடியும் மிகுந்து இருக்கும். கண்ணியமாய் வாசிதன்னை வசப்படுத்தி, கணக்காகப் புசிக்கச் சிறப்பு தான். சிறப்பெல்லாம் வாசியிலே அடங்கி இருக்கு. சித்தர் எல்லாம் வாசி வழி தேர்ச்சி கண்டார். சிறப்பு மிக்க மூத்தோனும் புத்தனும் தான் சிறப்பான வாசிக்கே அதிபதி ஆவார். ஆனதொரு வாசியை அடக்கினாலே ஆயுளோடு மரணம் இல்லா பெருவாழ்வு உண்டு. தவசி எல்லாம் வாசியாலே தவமும் பெற்றார். தான் அடைந்த உண்மையெல்லாம் உனக்கு உரைத்தோம்.
I was told to stop the practice when I succumbed to severe backache back in 2011 by Agathiyar. In 2019 he asked me to resume doing it. It is interesting to note that after 12 years Agathiyar brings us back to revisit these techniques asking both me and the others who frequent AVM to put them into practice. Agathiyar reiterates again that these practices are a treasure.
If in the past he started us with pranayama by asking us to concentrate on several spots in our head and torso, these days Agathiyar asks that we just follow the trail of the breath. The trail shall end when the breath subsides. Just as the force of water subsides as it travels farther away from its source into the plains and eventually into the ocean, "When your thoughts die down or lose their intensity what remains is me", says Agathiyar simplifying the means to an end. As the thoughts hitch on the breath, we are asked to ditch it. As the manam takes a ride on it, when the breath subsides the thoughts die with it and vice versa. What remains is the Self, the Atma, and Agathiyan as the inner flame and Spirit. When our thoughts die that is "Summa erupathu". Thoughts are the seeds of action. The thoughts fed with prana result in action. Drop the thoughts and the actions shall seize. Prana accumulated within shall not be lost through the senses and its organs.
உனது எண்ணத்தை நீ சற்று விலக்கு. நான் அங்கு இருந்து உனக்கு பதில் அளிப்பேன். அழுத்தமான உன் எண்ணம் தளர்ந்து போகும். அது தளர்ந்து போகும் நிலையில் நானே உள் இருப்பேன். நீயாய் சுவாசித்த பிராணவ வாயு இனி உன்னை கேட்காமல் உன்னுள் ஊடுருவும். எப்பொதுதெல்லாம் அது ஊடுருவதை நீ உணறுகிறாயோ இருக்கும் இடம் அறிந்து அதனுள் பயணம் செய். கலந்து போ. அதனோடு நீ கலக்கும் தருணமே தியானம்.
If the air used to move through the nostril in the past with my effort towards pranayama, coupled with rituals and puja to gain the Siddha's grace, without which one cannot progress far, the skin and lungs have begun to breathe in the air of their own accord. Agathiyar tells me following the breath within is meditation simplifying the means to an end.
If his Agathiyar Kuzhambu and subsequent concoctions purged my body of toxins and kalivu accumulated over the past 62 years, and with my return to yogic practices that were kept on hold by him for 8 years that initially brought about expansion of my lungs and subsequently increase in the intake and volume of air within in the initial years of 2008, these aids have helped me arrive at a stage where I have begun to tap into the prana directly through the skin pores and the lungs besides through the nostril. The area around the chest and the whole body absorbs the cool prana without any effort these days. Prana is taken in through food these days too. In brushing by a bush, plant, and tree I feel the prana is transmitted from them. Raising the hands like an antenna or standing by an open window taps the prana from the surroundings and the breeze that blows and brushes past us. This is the evolution of the physical Body.
தேக மாற்றம் உணருகிறாயா? இதுவே துவக்கம். உன்னுள் ஏற்படும் மாற்றங்கள் யாவும் கழிவுகள். அகன்று போகும். கவலை வேண்டாம். நாடி சுட்டி செய்து பிரணவத்தை உயர்த்தவும். பிரணவத்தில் கவனம் செலுத்து. உனது பிராணவத்தில் கலந்திருபாய். பிரணவத்தை கொண்டு ஜோதியை சுடர் விடச் செய். சுஷும்னா வழி சென்று ஆக்கினை தொடும். பின்னர் ஜோதி தெரியும். இரு நாசியில் செல்லும் கால் பிரணவம் இடைகலை பிங்கலையில் சீராகச் செல்லும் தருணம் சுத்த பரிபூரணத்தில் நீ ஆழ்ந்து விடுவாய். நீ செய்தது யாவும் தவம் முயற்சி ....தியானம் என்பது உனது பரிபூரணம் ஆகும்.
முயற்சி செய்யணும். உனது முயற்சியே உனது படி. தற்போது நீ செய்து வரும் சிறப்பு. அதைத் தொடர்ந்து செய்து வா. (பிராண சக்தி ஊடுருவிச் செல்கிறதே) அதுவே பிரணவ தேகம். முதல் படியில் இருக்கிறாய். பிரணவத்தின் சக்தி உணரும் தருணம் பிரணவத்தின் நீயே அதைக் காண்பாய். உன் பிரணவத்தால் ஊடுகிறாயா? அல்லது பிரணவம் உன்னுள் ஊடுகிறதா என்ற குழப்பம் ....என்று படியில் காலடி வைகிறாயோ அன்று உமக்கு விடை பிறக்கும். இவ் இன்பத்தில் ஆழ்ந்து கொண்டுவா. (அது பேர் ஆனந்தம்) இன்னும் இருக்கிறது. நீ கற்பதற்கு இன்னும் இருக்கிறது. எனது பரிபூரண ஆசியோடு கற்பிப்பாய். யாம் கூறிவித்தேன். உன்னுள் ஜோதி எரியும்வரை நான் உன்னோடு வருவேன். உமது பிரணவத்தை கொண்டு செல்லு. பிரபஞ்சம் ஆகிய காற்றின் அழுத்தம் உன்னில் இருக்கிறது. இதுவே முதல் படி. இரண்டாம் நிலையாய் இருக்கும் நிலம் விரைவில் உன்னில் ஊடுருவதை காண்பாய்.
I remember how Agathiyar in speaking about the greatness of Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar, spells out his state of seclusion in order to attain the desired states of the higher evolution of Body, Soul, and Spirit.
19.8.2008
காலை நீ சித்தர் வாழ் தடங்கள் சென்று கணக்காக வழிபட யோகம் தான். பயணமதில் அரங்கனையும் நீயும் கண்டு வர வேண்டும். தடை முன்னே தனக்குமே வந்திருக்கு தான். தடை அதுவும் செய்ததும் நாங்கள் அப்பா. அதையும் பொருட்படுத்தா நீயும் சென்று பார். அரங்கனுள் அகிலம் உண்டே. அரங்கனின் உள்ளே நங்கள் எல்லாம் புதைந்து உள்ளோம். அரங்கனை நீ கண்டால் ஆண்டவனை காண்பாய். அன்னவனே ஞானிமார்கள் பலரையும் தான், அன்னவனும் தொழுது தொழுது தான், அரங்கனும் பல நிலையைக் கடந்துள்ளான். அதனாலே அவனையும் தரிசித்தால் ஆண்டவனை தரிசித்தற்கு சமம் என்றோம். அன்னவன் இன்ப சுற்றலா அற்று அகில சுகம் அவனுக்கு அற்று போயும் மகா சக்தியை அடைந்தவன் அரங்கன். சுத்த உணவுகளில் தவ உணவு, பேரின்பத்தை அடைந்து, சுகம் அறுத்துச் சுகத்தை கண்டவன் அரங்கன். அவன் ஆசி பெற்றுவிட்டால் அகிலமதில் பெரும் யோகம் பெறுவாய் அப்பா. அரங்கனின் ஆசியும் பெற்று விட்டால் அகிலமே உனக்குப் புரிந்து விடும்.
Agathiyar tells me clearly why I can't close shop just as yet. I have responsibilities too to attend to he says. He needs to see his devotees at AVM where he intends to help them further. Many still look up to him and AVM as his residence and temple he says, although we had very much tried to erase that rapport and attachment by inculcating the thought that Agathiyar shall set up home in anybody's camp provided they ask and invite him in. We invited others to make their homes Agathiyar Vanam too through worship of the Siddhas in their homes and inviting them in. There was no two way about it when he says that I have to stomach all sorts of characters that are to come along in my life. Looks like I cannot choose and pick who is to drop by.
உனது ஆர்வம் எனக்கு புரிகிறது. உனக்கு இன்னும் பயற்சி அதிகம் தேவை. உடல் அளவிலும் மன அளவிலும் உனது ஆத்ம அளவிலும் இன்னும் பயற்சி இருக்கு. அதை யாம் அளித்து கொண்டு தான் இருக்கிறோம். ஆகையால் உனக்கு பயற்சி தேவை. அவை இவ்வாறு வருபவர்கள் மூலமே இருக்கும். பொறுமை கொள்வாயாக.
உன்னை நான் தனிமை படுத்தி கொண்டு தான் இருக்கிறேன். உன்னில் இருந்து நான் செய்யும் அணைத்து பயிற்சிகள் செவ்வன செய்து வா. ஆனபோதிலும் உனக்கான கடமைகளும் இருக்கிறது. யாம் வருவதையும் இன்னும் பலர் இன்னும் வேண்டும் என்று எண்ணி கொண்டிருக்கிறார்கள். அவர்களுக்கு யாம் வழி காட்ட வேண்டும். அவ் இல்லம் எமது கோயில். தனிமைப்படுத்தி கொல்லாதே நான் கூறும் வரையில்.
The physical body needs to be purified whence the coarser material is transformed to finer material. The initial Asudha deham becomes Sudha deham. With prana coming within it filling all the pores and spaces within the body it becomes the Pranava deham. He shall be lifted into mid air if not held back. Next would be the Gnana deham enriched with wisdom not from bookish learning but from experiences. Finally the Oli deham where the dismantling back to the core elements takes place. If Agathiyar aided in the transformation of the physical body, the experience learned from the many instances of interaction with people on the path builds the power of the Soul. The Soul too needs to evolve with each birth, gaining Soul power or Atma Balam through living out the experiences. This is what Agathiyar had staged and executed carefully. Agathiyar besides allowing me to make blunders and mistakes; sinning and later repenting for it, in giving me the experiences has given me valuable insight into life. He asks that I learn further from all the flaws and mistakes of others too. He wants me to hear them out and witness and learn from their mistakes too. He has me sit with him and listen to these conversations. In sharing we gain insights. If he had given us rituals and yogic practices to follow and grow, now these brief encounters with people seeking to know the path are all part of the additional practice required to turn and transform a caterpillar into a pupa before it emerges as a beautiful butterfly spreading its wings far and wide.
Working on the physical Body and the Soul, finally, the divine comes within to enhance and empower the Spirit what was a small flame within to burn to its full capacity and effulgence. When some locals of a particular clan played a trick on saint Sri Raghavendra asking him to revive a boy who had been asked to play dead, the saint tells them that he could not bring the boy back alive as his Spirit had left. They mocked him and ridicule him pressing him to revive the kid, for they knew that the boy was playing dead. But when they called the boy to end the game and wake up, what they confronted was a dead body. Indeed the saint was right that that the lad had died. The saint explains that one can revive the dead as long as the Spirit was within. Prana that keeps us hale, healthy and alive sustains the Spirit within. By engaging in pranayama one increases the prana intake and extends his lifetime keeping the Spirit within longer.
I shared my sadness of having failed in gaining any notable transformation the past two years. Though I was living in a cocoon, having tried very much to go within but only to encounter disruptions and obstacles to the journey within, I deemed it had not been fruitful and had wasted precious time and years, thinking in the sense of accumulating gains as in any venture. But Agathiyar surprised me by telling me that the two years were not wasted. இவ் இரு ஆண்டுகள் யாவும் பயனற்று போகவில்லை
I did not understand them until speaking to Mahin he points out that in the past two years I had learned to drop many a thing. It suddenly dawned on me that he was right. For I had always seen and looked forward to gains that came as an added component or add on to existing states of spiritual being, that sees us rise up the spiritual ladder, sees our efforts paid off and gain some new insights, etc but never thought that the change could also happen in reverse where we drop what we had held dear and close to our hearts all these years. Mahin had to remind me that I had learned to drop my hold on rituals and the hold on having people around me and becoming accustomed to the attention given when AVM was alive. Agathiyar broke it all up hence assisting me to let go without much pain.
Agathiyar had told that it was not easy attaining the state of Gnanam. One has to lose his hold on things, giving them up. Hence he confirms why he states that the two years in seclusion were not wasteful. First, Agathiyar asked that we clear and clean the house and the surroundings that we stayed in to keep disease and illness at bay. For this reason, our ancestors had us adopt and observe the annual Bhogi festival. Then Agathiyar had us drop all acquired knowledge and let him fill us in. Then the series of purgatives worked to clear the body of residues. Having us participate in charity drew compassion from within our hearts. With the experiences both sweet and sour, that came our way, wisdom arose from these learnings. These continuous throwing away, dropping, and shedding of things, opinions, perspectives, believes, etc held close to the heart eventually leads to the dawn of Gnanam.
பலர் வருவார்கள். ஆனால் ஞானத்தை நாடுபவர்கள் மிகவே குறைவு. நீங்கள் ஞானத்தை விரும்பினீர்கள். நான் வழங்க உள்ளேன். விரைவில் அனைத்தும் தெரிய வரும். நீங்கள் ஞானம் பெற பல முயற்சிகள் வேண்டும். ஆதலால் உள்ளதை அறுதெரிய வேண்டியவை அதிகம் இருக்கும். அதை எவன் ஒருவன் எறிகிறானோ அவனுக்கு ஞான வேந்தன் ஞானதை அளிப்பான். நான் உறுதுணையாக இருப்பேன். நீங்கள் உள் பயணிக்கும் பொது எல்லாம் தெளிவாகத் தெரியும் சமயம் திரை விலகியத்திற்கு அர்த்தம். நீங்கள் உள் பயணம் பயணிக்கும் பொது எல்லாம் தெரிய வரும் தருணம் திரை விலக்கியத்திற்கு அர்த்தம். புரிகிறதா? எல்லாம் தெரிய வரும். எல்லாம் தெரிய வந்ததால் திரை விலக்கியத்திற்கு அர்த்தம் தானே? அதுதான் ஞானம். இது மந்திர ஜாலமல்ல. அதற்கும் அப்பால் பட்டது. எல்லா லோகமும் தெரிய வரும். ஐந்தொழிலும் தெரிய வரும். அனைத்து தத்துவங்களும் தெரிய வரும். எல்லாம் எங்களின் விளையாட்டு என்று தெரிய வரும்.
Ramalinga Adigal came to pave the way too drawing the curtain aside.
என் பெருமானே என்னுள் வந்து அருளிய ஜோதி அது....என் பெருமான் அருளிய ஜோதி அது....
திரை எனும் திரை எனும் என் பெருமான் காட்டிய திரை அது....
என் அருள் அப்பன் அருள் ஜோதி அது...
சீர்ஜோதி அது பெருஞ் ஜோதி அது... ஏறும் பெரும் ஜோதி அது.
என்னுள் அது ஏறும்போது திரை அது விலகியது...
என்னுள் அது ஏறும் நிலையில் ஜோதி அது ஜோதி அது...
திரை எனும் திரை அது அருட்பெருஞ்ஜோதி அது...
திரை விலக உங்களில் இருக்கும் ஜோதி அதனைச் சுடர்விட செய்யுங்கள்.
என் அப்பன் அகத்தியன் உங்களுக்குள் வந்து அத்திரையை விலக்கிவிடுவார்.
அதுவே இப்பாடலின் பொருள். என் அப்பன் அகத்தியன் உங்களுக்குள் இருந்து வழி நடத்தி வருகிறார். அவன் வழியிலே நடந்து வாருங்கள். அத்திரை விலக்குவதற்க்கு அவன் அருள் புரிவான். அருட்ஜோதி உங்களை ஆசீர்வதித்தது. அருட்பெருஞ்சோதி ஆண்டவர் உங்களை ஆசீர்வதித்தார். செல்லும் வழி சரி. அகத்தியன் அருட்ஜோதியை நோக்கி அழைத்துச் செல்வான்.
Agathiyar gave the green light to disclose these pertinent points not available in books but made available to those who put what is said into practice. I can safely share them with readers praying that they too shall gain the grace of the divine in all their spiritual ventures and safely come aboard and reach the shores.
இனி இவன் மூலம் உங்கள் மொழியில் பேசுவேன். இவன் எழுதுக்களை படியுங்கள். அவை என் கருத்து. இனி ஆத்மவை பற்றி நிறைய சொல்வேன். சரியையில் எனக்குச் சேவை செய்தீர்; கிரியையில் எனது குழந்தைகளாய் ஏற்றேன்; யோகத்தில் என் நண்பனாய் ஏற்றேன்; ஞானத்தில் நான் நீயாக நீங்கள் நானாகச் சேர்வோம்.
இனி உமது எழுத்துக்கள் உமது பயணங்கள் மட்டும் இருக்கட்டும். நாம் உன்னிடத்தில் உரைக்கும் வழிமுறைகள் பகர்வாய்.
To those readers trying to make contact with me, I have to humbly refuse. As Agathiyar had asked that I go within it would not make sense in me to expand the network of friends. Hence the reason I never accepted new friends on Fb nor posted anything. It is also the reason that I never wanted others to share my contact numbers nor email addresses. I am just maintaining the few numbers of fellow seekers who call me to share their experience and never more. This should suffice for now till the time is ripe for all to seize and come to a closure.