I do not remember how old I was but I remember vividly something that I saw and sensed. As this experience took place in this rented home of ours among the many others we had stayed in earlier I must have been between the ages of 7 and 15. I had gone to bed. I was suddenly hovering close to the ceiling of our family home looking down on myself, my brother, and my father who slept in the same room and I could see my mother and sisters sleeping in the next room. I would linger for a long time hovering and floating. I would keep looking around for a while before I began to swing left and right. I would suddenly sink and nose-dive back into my body. It was like a dream but only that this would happen almost every day for some time. I did not share with anyone nor did I make a fuss over it. As I did not understand this at that age it was not important to me. Today as I flip through Ruzbeh N Bharucha's book "The Fakir - The Journey Continues" given by a devotee couple who visited Agathiyar at AVM taking up his call in wanting to see all his devotees, a similar episode is narrated in the first few pages of the book. Rudra has this experience but he then realized that he was out of his body. He was told that he was dead by Baba. When Rudra asked to be back in his body Baba asked him to "will it".
Then Rudra tells Baba that one Sneha was pulling him. Baba says that she was remembering him. When a famed Nadi guru passed away Agathiyar had told his next of kin not to carry out the religious rites that are customary after the burial, as it would pull him out of his state of tavam in Pothihai. I was surprised to learn that the Atma could continue its tavam after passing over. Agathiyar explained that by remembering him the Atma would be caught between whether to continue meditating or return to the call of the family. This was shared with me by a close friend of the Nadi guru. Baba too explains the same that the Atma shall be pulled down and not able to move on. Baba explains that "As the pull will not let the Atma be in peace that is why we urge people not to moan and cry for their loved ones once they have passed over." I did not shed a tear for either Supramania Swami or Tavayogi upon hearing of their demise. Supramania Swami a few days before he passed over told me he had seen the jothi. As that is what we strive for so why should one cry? When I asked Tavayogi what should I do as his (Supramania Swami) lone disciple Tavayogi asked me to pray that his Atma is placed in a high place. So when Tavayogi passed over I did not cry too. Why should I cry? When Dr. Krishnan passed over I stood at his side and burst into joy. Imagine someone laughing at a funeral? I was glad no one took notice. I could connect to his Atma. I knew that his Atma was happy. So why should I cry? Some time back the followers and public were informed with regret that their guru had passed over. Now, why should that be a sad occasion when she had put in so much work and saved so many Atma? Is merging with Siva Patham a sad thing? Isn't that everyone's wish? The Thiruvasagam is always sung at funerals. Ain't that a bit late to recall that song then? Should not that be sung when one is alive and attain Siva Patham while still ALIVE?Agathiyar too reminds us to call out to the Lord while we are still hale and healthy and before it's too late. The song goes ...
At that moment of inability, immobility, and gone senile, or with acute illness, he says he might not be able to utter the name of Lord Narayana, hence he reminds us to take the opportunity to sing the praise of the Lord right now at this very moment while we are hale and healthy, quite akin to saving for a raining day.
At that hour when death approaches me I am not sure if I will remember you, hence I am remembering you now Narayana, please take heed of my calling,
When kapam or phlegm arises and my tongue quivers, I am not sure if I will remember you, hence I am calling you now so that you would appear then to save me, Lord Narayana,
When vayu or the vital air comes to a halt, and all senses seize to function, and my soul begins to leave, I am not sure if I would be thinking of you, hence I call out to you now so that you come to my aid then,
When all that I thought was mine suddenly is of no significance and importance at the time of death, I am not sure if I will remember you my Lord, but nevertheless, I pray that you would come then Lord Narayana, hence I am calling you out now,
When Yama's servants appear to bind and take me away, I cannot promise that I would think of you, hence I call you now my Lord,
When my next of kin surround my death bed and wail and cry out, I don't know if your thought will arise in me, hence I cry out for you my Lord this very moment, so that you would appear to save me during my final moments! and so the song goes on.
This is what we should be doing daily for we might not be even able to say his name, let alone call out to him to save us in our hour of need.
நாராயணா ஸ்ரீமத் நாராயணா
பத்ரி நாராயணா ஹரி நாராயணா
நாராயணா ஸத்ய நாராயணா
சூர்ய நாராயணா லக்ஷ்மி நாராயணா
நொந்துடலும் கிழமாகித் தளர்ந்தபின்
நோயில் நடுங்கிடும் போது – ஜீவ
நாடிகள் நைந்திடும் போது – மனம்
எண்ணிடுமோ தெரியாது – இன்று
கசிந்துன்னைக் கூவுகின்றேன் அருள்
செய்திடுவாய் ஹரி நாராயணா
நீடு கபம் கோழை ஈழை நெருக்கி – என்
நெஞ்சை அடைத்திடும் போது
நாவும் குழறியபோது – மனம் உன்னை
எண்ணிடுமோ தெரியாது – நான்
அன்றுனைக் கூவிட இன்றழைத்தேன் எனை
ஆண்டருள்வாய் ஹரி நாராயணா
ஐம்பொறியும் கரணங்களும் வாயுவும்
ஆடி அடங்கிடும் போது – எந்தன்
ஆவி பிரிந்திடும்போது – மனம்
எண்ணிடுமோ தெரியாது – இன்று
நம்பி உனைத் தொழுதே அழைத்தேன்
ஜகன் நாயகனே ஹரி நாராயணா
உற்றவர் பெற்றவர் மற்றவர் சுற்றமும்
ஒவென்று நின்றழும்போது – உயிர்
ஓசைகள் ஓய்ந்திடும்போது – மனம்
எண்ணிடுமோ தெரியாது – இன்று
பற்றி உனைப் பணிந்தே அழைத்தேன் – ஆபத்
பாந்தவனே ஹரி நாராயணா
என்பொருள் என்மனை என்றதெல்லாம் இனி
இல்லை என்றாகிடும் போது – மனம்
எண்ணிடுமோ தெரியாது – நீ
அன்று வரும் பொருட்டின்றழைத்தேன் அருள்
அச்சுதனே ஹரி நாராயணா
வந்தமெதூர் வளைத்து பிடித்தெனை
வாவென்றிழுத்திடும் போது – மனம்
எண்ணிடுமோ தெரியாது – அந்த
அந்தியம் நீ வர இன்றழைத்தேன்
ஸச்சிதானந்தனே ஹரி நாராயணா