I hurt my back again yesterday noon as I bent down to pick up my second granddaughter, who had fallen off a stool. The pain was excruciating as before. I stood before Agathiyar and asked him what was the reason he was going to give me this time around. Although we only saw the external circumstances or events that brought on the recurrence, Agathiyar saw through the divine play and tells me otherwise. I received the answer later as I shared this incident with Mahin this morning.
The first time it came on was when I cleared my throat while having my morning shower. The x-ray did not show any problem with my back. I had to bear the pain for some 3 years then. The physiotherapy brought much relief. Once when the physiotherapist asked me to do the exercises she gave in front of her, as I moved into the first position I felt something snap and give way in my lower back and an instantaneous joy and relief came about that made me scream. The pain went away magically, just as it had come on suddenly. That was in the year 2011. This is termed Chronic back pain I was to learn later. "Usually defined as lower back pain that lasts over 3 months, this type of pain is usually severe, does not respond to initial treatments, and requires a thorough medical workup to determine the exact source of the pain.1" On the other front, Agathiyar said otherwise. He asked me to stop the yogic exercises that I learned from Tavayogi in 2008 telling me these had brought on subtle internal changes in me, but asks me not to be afraid. He brushed it aside saying that pain is bliss. Agathiyar recommended several herbs to take.
Then I had the pain appear with less intensity just as we were preparing for my daughter's wedding in 2016. This I came to know is defined as Acute pain. "This type of pain typically comes on suddenly and lasts for a few days or weeks, and is considered a normal response of the body to injury or tissue damage. The pain gradually subsides as the body heals.2" This time around I never sought any medical attention as I knew it was the Siddhas playing a game again. Dhanvantri came and treated me, while Tavayogi who arrived to bless my daughter at her wedding passed on some herbal medicine he used to take. It disappeared without me realizing it.
In 2018, as I was crossing the road, a sneeze came on and so did the pain. The pain came on again with such intensity as the first time. I read that this is known as Subacute low back pain. "Lasting between 6 weeks and 3 months, this type of pain is usually mechanical in nature (such as a muscle strain or joint pain) but is prolonged. At this point, a medical workup may be considered and is advisable if the pain is severe and limits one’s ability to participate in activities of daily living, sleeping, and working.3" I lived with it, taking the herbal medicines suggested by Agathiyar and had varma masters Arunan and Balamurugan work on the points and finally getting a jab from Dr. Jana. Then the ever compassionate divine came to my home as Lord Murugan both in the Nadi and through a devotee simultaneously and healed me with the stroke of the peacock feathers, and the recitation of the Arutperunjothi mantra into a glass of water that I drank. It disappeared after some time. The divine had healed the causal body I learned later.
If I had Agathiyar come in the Nadi the first time I had the pain, and prescribe herbal medicines, and tell me that the dormant energies had awakened as a result of the yogic exercises that I did given by Tavayogi, Dhanvantri too reiterated that the three dosas had gone off balance resulting in the recurrence again in 2016. Lord Murugan in 2018 told me the same too and that he was the reason too having wanted me to stay put in a place.
Siddhas are the perfect guru, they give us sufficient courage and confidence to pursue and step back, never continuously spoon-feeding us. But when we are in trouble, they come to save the day. So last night as I stood before Agathiyar seeking the reason, I asked him what was his play now and how long it was to go on? I told him I cannot possibly keep seeking the Nadi or him to come through devotees forever, each time I face this pain as a result of subtle changes that verily affect the body and its form too. I told him I was ashamed to seek help outside when I had him with me. What if a cheeky one were to ask if "Your guru or God did not help you?" I told him to heal me directly. As he is the Prapanjam and as we are in him too, let the Prapanjam come down and heal me. I did certain stretching poses to accertain the degree of damaged done and several simple yoga asanas and breathing techniques before retiring to bed. At 1am I woke up to go to the loo. I felt the extreme pain had gone. What remained of the pain was manageable and that I could bear. I feel very much relieved of the pain as I key in this post. So what did I learn today? That we could reach out to the Prapanjam for help. If we had sought the Nadi and its reader for words of relief and remedies frombthe Siddhas; if we had the divine come within devotees or mediums to bring a solution; if we had sought modern medicine and its related therapy or alternative treatment and its practitioners for relief and cure; if we had mantras and magic potions heal us in the past; now we could engage directly with the source forgoing these mediums. I guess that is what Agathiyar wants us too. To grow up and never be dependent on all things externally, but rather let the healing take place when we engage with the Prapanjam. As the Prapanajam contains everything within it both the disease and its cure are found within it too. This is where I understood why Tavayogi although he had the Jeeva Nadi with him and read for others never referred to it for himself or for matters relating to his ashram.
In telling us that nature is both the problem and the solution, Stephen Grissom on his blog at https://www.siddhavasihealing.com/blog/siddha-vasi-healing-ancient-wisdom-in-the-modern-world quotes his guru Pal Pandian, “Immerse yourself in the problem. There is hidden the medicine. The beauty is that the solution to every situation, lies within the very problem itself" or in Stephen's words, "The actual medicine that resolved the man’s illness lay hidden within the suffering of his sickness."
Stephen writes further,
Indeed, it is the Tamil Siddha masters deep understanding, born from Their own quest and enlightened state, that declares the entire creation to exist in each of us. This reflection of the macrocosm in the microcosm illuminates the vast potential that lies within Siddha Healing.
Stephen in writing on man's inherent nature to find solutions to problems challenges us to change our mindset.
We don’t like to sustain in our situations and problems in life. Instead we compulsively try to come out of them. Reflexively we will try to catch or substitute some type of solution. Just so we can move on to something else. This is why I call it neurotic. However, should we resist these urges and instead feel ourselves in any given situation the most natural and beautiful thing happens: the solution effortlessly appears. How does it come to us and from where does it come?
Here we are taught not to resist the problem nor try to escape. Stephen continues,
This lack of effort is beautiful because we are no longer striving to achieve anything. Instead are meeting life in a fully open, trusting and stressless manner. Like when we were little children and filled with wonder and vigor.
Stephen writes so beautifully that I cannot help but pick more excerpts from his site.
Our ancestors lived the majority of their lives outside. By day their feet and hands touched the earth, by night their eyes gazed at dancing fires and the star strewn heavens. This natural and raw way of living created a felt need for celebration in the most organic sense.The return to the source of this sacred energy is the path of ecstatic bonding, whose brilliance pulsates within Nature. Its echo resonates the same touchstone within each of us. This is the illumination of the masculine and feminine energies, concealed in each of us. The euphoric bonding is firmly rooted in the beauty of the earth, just as lightning needs earth as its focal point. It is felt as a “breathing”. One that is simultaneously subtle yet all encompassing, for all of creation, including our bodies, lays curled in the womb of silent ecstasy. This awareness will come from the sky as we watch birds fly, framed by clouds. Its feeling and smell emerges from caressing winds and as thunder echoes in the heavens with its own song – enveloping rain. This is the memory of our ancient civilization where celebration was the very fabric of ordinary life.
Nature never expects anything from us, but keeps giving to us. The plants are a source of grain, fruits, and food for our sustenance. It gives us the oxygen that we need, and takes in the carbon dioxide we rid of. The sun gives us light, heat, and warmth. The wind chills us on a hot day. The heat of the sun causes the water bodies from the ponds, lakes, rivers, and oceans to rise and form rain clouds that later shower rain and drench our earth. The spring water and the wells quench our thirst. The atmosphere protects us from harmful rays as an umbrella would from the rain. But what have we done to return the favor? The day we killed other living things, the day we killed another, and the day we took our lives saw the dark clouds loom over humanity. But even as many out of greed, rape, rob, and pollute nature there are many living saints among us who are ordinary people like us doing extraordinary things, giving back to nature to the extent of giving their lives towards saving nature. Stephen calls them the new “avatars” of the creative force, which lives and breathes in the heart of the universe.
There are those today who personify this “return to the source”, who are not bothered with masks and disguises. Their earthiness and simplicity results from the enraptured bonding of the primordial masculine and feminine energies. They may not be the teachers of spirituality that society expects to see, and often not of the tradition of religion, spirituality and book learning. Rather, they will emerge as ancient wizards: dancers, poets, therapists, writers, healers and musicians. Having heard this clarion call, they are not motivated by personal expression but by a far vaster and more mythological need. One rooted in the earth itself. Look! Even those that work more simply with wood, metal, and machines will personify this artistic expression. The gardener, plumber, and auto mechanic will begin to view “work” as a kind of play and artistic expression. Their lives shall personify a deeper connection with spirit and earth.
I would consider these souls as Agathiyar walking the earth. Just as Lord Shiva sent Agathiyar to the south to bring back a balance to the earth that had tipped over, these souls maintain the much-needed balance. It is heartening to know that however much some are bent on destroying the earth we live on, many are equally working in harmony with it saving it for the generations to come. There is yet hope.
1,2,3 sourced from https://www.spine-health.com/conditions/lower-back-pain/lower-back-pain-symptoms-diagnosis-and-treatment