Looking back now I realized that AVM in a way was an Ashram. Agathiyar selected several Atmas to come by and learn the worship of the Siddhas. Then he sent them away to practice in their homes and bring others too into their fold. Having served its purpose it was disbanded. No strings attached. That is how we traveled the path of the Siddhas.
Traveling the path we realize that we only see the superficial and physical. The Siddhas see the Atma and the subtle. For instance when I thought all the four times I hurt my back was due to initially clearing my throat, then exertion, clearing space for my daughter's engagement, or a sneeze, Agathiyar told me otherwise.
After I ventured to carry out yoga asanas and pranayama in 2007 Bhrigu came on 10.3.2007 to reveal that this practice would result in the internal heat building up.
ஒப்பில்லா ஞான கனல் தேகம் தன்னில் உருவாகும் தவ ஞான பயிற்சி தன்னால்.
Pathanjali came to mention the inherent changes taking place on 18.5.2008. In carrying out the yoga practices the aura and chakras shall be enhanced. Kundalini shall rise.
பயிற்சிகளும் முறையே செய்ய வர்ணமும் ஆதாரம் சித்தி ஓங்கும். வண்ணமதாய் பயிற்சிகளும் முறையே செய்ய வளம் பெருக்கும் வர்ணமும் ஆதாரம் சித்தி. கொண்டதோர் குண்டலினி ஓங்கும் பாரு.
The continued practice of Yoga Asanas and Pranayama that Tavayogi taught us on his visit to Malaysia in 2007 and the Siddhas revealed in the Nadi led to many changes that took place within. The volume of prana inhaled expanded to the brim of the lungs and the body burst. But the feeling was that of joy, not the least hurtful. Agathiyar on 9.8.2010 points out that the tapas has generated extreme heat within what he calls Gnana Kanal.
உண்டான ஞான கனல் மிகுந்த காலம் உயர்வான காலம் இது இந்தக் காலம்.
On 17.10.2010 Agathiyar mentioned that what is generally achieved through Hathayoga is now possible through Tapas and Puja. But he points out that my health was declining. He asked to see a Siddha physician who can bring it back to its former state. With his grace, I shall recover well.
அடையோகம் தன்னில் கிட்டும் சித்தி எல்லாம் அவையனைத்தும் தவமொடு வழிபாட்டில் பெறுவாய். ஆனதொரு ஆரோக்கியம் மட்டும் சோடை. ஒளடதமும் பிடகனை அறிந்து ஏற்க்கவே மாற்றங்கள் ஏற்றம் கிட்டும். என் அருளால் பூரணமாய் பரிசுத்தம் காண்பாய்.
Then my back hurt very much. I pulled a nerve as I cleared my throat during my morning bath as always. As I threw out the sputum, I felt an excruciating pain in my left buttocks, that went down right up to my toes. It made me squat in pain. I had to crawl out of the bathroom after some time. The pain aggravated day by day. Initially, I could not walk for a long-distance and a long time and had to look for a place to rests my feet and aching back. Then I could not sit for long too. Sitting was itself painful. Then the pain woke me up in my sleep. I had to crawl out of bed. What was to be a restful sleep turned into a nightmare as I would wake up with bodily pains. That is how I shuttled between work and home. Driving was painful too as I had to engage the clutch. To my officemates who asked about my posture and pain I jokingly told them I hurt my back chopping a banana tree that became a joke for some time. Seeking the late Dr. Krishnan, a Siddha physician, and friend, for advice, he checked three aspects of my health and struck them off as potential causes or reasons. I did not have pain while urinating. Neither did I have blood in my urine. So I had no stone in me. My feet were not swollen so my kidneys were fine. Lastly, he asked me to take an X-ray to determine if I had slip disc. I headed for the nearest government clinic. The X-ray showed nothing wrong with my back and backbone. But they referred me to the Orthopedic Specialist at the general hospital for a second opinion. Though she gave me a clean slate since I was suffering in pain she referred me to the clinic to begin my session of physiotherapy that brought much relief momentarily. I began physiotherapy on 12.5.2011. Meanwhile, I called up to see Ramesh and read Agathiyar's Nadi on 9.8.2011. Agathiyar specifically addressed my issue in his நடைமுறை பிரசன்ன ஆசி நூல்.
He asked that I drop the fear. Having chanted Agathiyar's name now it ran within me even at times when I do not do it. Hence he shall take care.
ஆக்கையிலும் அகத்தியன் அருளும் பார்வையும் அருள்படிய மிகுந்திருக்க குழப்பம் கொள்ள. தக்கதொரு அகத்தீசன் நாமம் ஓதி ஓதியே உருவும் ஏறி ஓதாத காலத்திலும் ஓதி கொண்டிருக்கு. உருவேற்றி உருவேற்றி உயர்வடைய செய்தாய். உன்னை காத்து வாழவைப்பேன் நானும்.
He came again on 26.11. 2011 giving me assurance. He explained that my agony was Paareesa Peedai or was merely sensory perception that was external and "superficial, existing or occurring at or on the surface and உடலின் ஒரு பக்கம், appearing to be true or real only until examined more closely."
My discomfort was due to the Muladhara chakra having gained extreme heat. He says the Muladhara chakra had attained intense heat resulting in my condition leading to immobility. He added that the three dosas were not in their ideal proportions. He suggested two herbal preparations, Amalaki and Tripala be taken. He asked me to end my Tapas immediately. He asked that I worship the Sun and Lord Muruga.
தரணிதன்னில் எங்கள் வழி மார்க்கத்தில் தப்பாது பூசையும் தவமும் செய்து தான் உயர்வு அடைந்திட்ட பாலகன் உனக்குத் தரணியே உயிர் பிணி ஏது சொல்வோம் உடல் பிணி ஏதுதான். அச்சம்கொள்ள. பாரிச பீடைகளும் வந்து நிற்கும். உற்றதொரு மூலாதார சக்கரமும் உயர் விதமாய் உட்டனங்கள் அடைந்ததனாலே உரைக்க வரும் சோர்வும் தேகம் தன்னில். உரைக்கலாம் முக்கூற்று திருப்பும் இப்போ முறையாகச் சம நிலையில் இல்லாதிருக்க சோதனைகள் வந்து நிற்க்கும் அச்சம் மிதந்து. சிறப்பு தரும் வாகடமும் செப்பலாம். அமலாகி வாகடனத்தை சுத்தமுடன் மண்டலங்கள் எடுக்க நன்று. சிறப்பு தரும் யோகம் மாறாத் தனக்கு இப்போ த்ரிபலாகி லேகியம். செப்பலாம் தவம் தன்னை நிறுத்திவைக்க. சிறப்பு இருக்கு வழிபாடும் முறையே மாறாது சூரிய வழிபாடும் செய்ய வழிபாடும் வேலவர்க்கும் முறையே செய்யப் பங்கம் ஏதும் வந்திடாது கலக்கம் கொள்ள.
Agathiyar monitored my state regularly coming up with Nadi readings that gave me much assurance. He asked me to continue taking the prescription for another half a mandalam on 16.1.2011.
வாகடன்கள் தேகத்திற்கு மட்டும் வளத்துடனே அரை மண்டலாம் எடுத்துக் கொள்ள தேகமத்தில் குறை வாரா.
On 15.2.2012 the physiotherapist asked me to do before her the exercises she had taught me and that I had put into practice the past seven months. As I moved into position to began to raise my right leg behind me and stretch my back, there was something like a latch released, a dam burst, a knot that was untied, as if something gave way, and it brought instant relief and joy to the extent I cried out in joy. The excruciating pain left magically just as it had come on mysteriously.
If the disorders built up to culminate in 2011 where the three dosas becoming erratically displaced resulting in extreme discomfort and bodily aches, excessive vatham lead to mild pain the second time. Uttering the name Muruga at all times, brought in much divine energy that my body could not take the third time. Recently it was the result of the cleansing of the chakras. Looking back I realized now that the chore of cleaning the house and energizing it has been going on for some 14 years now and is still going on. While these went on within without my knowledge and effort Agathiyar doubled the cleansing power by having me consume his Agathiyar Kuzhambu that was a purgative and extending the period of cleansing giving me another simple but very potent formula that I took for some 51 days before I gave up.
I am going through a phase where my hearing is amplified, my taste buds enhanced, my sight improved, and my nostrils identifies the slightest smell or aroma or odor these days. My skin pores have started breathing in the air apart from the nostrils. As I pick flowers in my garden, mild "electricity" passes from the tree into me. The breeze and winds that blow invigorate and energizes. The vision is clear now. What was a - 4.5 diopter correction in my right eye and - 4 in my left in 2008, took a dive and became - 3.75 in both my eyes in 2014. Then it took a further dive again in 2020 becoming - 1.75 and 1.5 respectively. I can hear all the minute sounds and noises. All the motors that run the household appliances and equipment, the humming from the electricity that flows in the wires, the chirping of the birds and insects are all amplified. Some pleasant but others maddening. Hence everything either is joy or is an irritation. There are moments when there is an absence of hunger. At other times one can eat like horse. Above all this, I can feel the pain of others bringing tears to my eyes. The latest makeover is that my hair has started to grow in the place where it went bald. Wondering what was happening I looked through my small library of books. Swami Muktananda sheds some light in his book "Kundalini - The Secret of Life" published by Siddha Yoga Publication, 1994. He writes that,
- "On her journey to the Sahasrara, kundalini passes through all the sense organs, purifying them and investing them with new powers."
- He adds that when the chakras of the sense organs are purified the physical senses become sharpened and refined.
- "As kundalini rises to the ocular center, she purifies the eyes."
- "As the kundalini purifies the sense of touch, one begins to feel thrilled of love through every pore and hair of the body. One becomes immersed in the joy of touch." I have seen brief moments of this joy.
- "When kundalini reaches the center of smell it purifies that and one comes into direct contact with the essence of smell." Indeed I can smell the essence of things these days. I have yet to smell the subtle smells that the Swami talks about.
- "When the Shakti moves to the auditory center, she purifies this too." I have yet to hear the celestial harmonies as described by him.
- "When a shower of nectar is released and begins to fall dropping onto the root of the tongue, the taste buds become extremely refined. Even the simplest food is relished", he says. This is indeed true.
When Agathiyar had us leave Sariyai and Kriyai and venture into Yogam and Gnanam, he made us cleansed the body and nerves (breath) through Dega Suddhi and Nadi Suddhi, making the body the appropriate vessel for the divine to channel its energy and light. We were reminded by Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal numerous times that both Prana and Arutjhothi need to well up within and burn brightly for the internal combustion to take place. Fanned by the Prana the Arutjhothi engulfs all the impurities just as we light a Yagam or Homam externally to burn our Karma.
Ramalinga Adigal forewarned the discomfort and pain that one shall have to go through to achieve and bring the desired changes in the body. He himself had to endure 12 long years of pain. As the body begins to stink moments after we die, so shall the body stink during this process of inner cleansing. My body stinks. The urine, stool, saliva, and breath all stink. There is a need to take purgatives to expel the impurities. Impurities will be expelled from the body in several ways: the skin, stool, urine, and phlegm. The three dosas will be expelled if in excess and a perfect balance brought about. Nerves will start to pull; limbs might go numb, and boils would appear due to the intense heat generated known as Tava Kanal. All these are in place currently and it is awful. Hence Patanjali recommends the need to adhere to a strict diet of sattvic food. Kaya Kalpa or herbs that help strengthen the physical body has to be taken. I am blessed to have Siddha Physician Arivan Aiya pass me these herbs in a timely manner.
This is only the beginning says Ramalinga Adigal. There is much more to go through. He assures that he would be right beside us to lead, guide, and monitor till the gates of our heavenly father's kingdom. We are blessed to hear these words of encouragement from one who had to find his own way and has come back to lead us along. Tavayogi too is striving to bring us to our destination he says. We are glad that we could come this far. Whether we achieve the states that Ramalinga Adigal spoke about is immaterial for the journey this far itself has been satisfying and fulfilling. We look upon his grace to shower and bring us to these states if he feels we are worthy of it.