CONVERSATIONS WITH AGATHIYAR FROM SOUTH AFRICA

Dear Shan Aiya

The recent posts burst with “truths and knowledge”.  On the surface, they may appear as insightful lectures or profound information which of course they are, but they provoke deeper introspection and contemplation.  They are no longer just a read.

The knowledge spins around the joy ride and fall, the chakras, the transformations, the inner journey, the solo journey, etc.  It brings us to inhale the fragrance, noting the taste, discovering through hearing, seeing with discernment and feeling with compassion.  How is this so?  Through experiential learning.  By taking us like a grain of wheat and putting us through a mill to produce flour on the other side.  Hence the fragrance may sometimes be dreadful, the taste bitter, the hearing deafening (unpleasant) and the feeling heart-wrenching.

Shan aiya writes “Similarly, he opened his doors to all kinds of seekers: the true and genuine seekers; window shoppers; touch and go seekers; seekers seeking miracles and cures; etc. Accommodating them for some time, finally, he burnt the very vessel so that those who were well equipped with his teachings could swim across the tide and rapids to safety and safely continue their worship by themselves while those who hitchhiked; the stowaways and holiday seekers were swept away by the strong current of the passing life and the lure of maya”. 

I think back to all those excited, committed, eager, enthusiastic seekers who aspired to take the Agathiyar Airline Flight.  Being one of them, I wondered if I was worthy of boarding that flight or if I would be able to secure the necessary documents to be considered.  I am perhaps at the stage of gathering relevant documents or on a waiting list somewhere…

I write this as an intern, as an apprentice on this path hence I beg your tolerance and patience. Agathiyar has numerous times, in previous readings, requested that I write. Certain I had/have nothing of value to contribute to this respected path and esteemed body of knowledge, I prefer/preferred instead, to hibernate below the radar.  However, I continue to receive taps to write. In response to this, I negotiated with Agathiyar that I would type, he would contribute, and we can discuss and see where it goes from there.

 (I have written this from the perspective of having a direct line of reciprocated communication with Agathiyar, which is not the case (in a literal sense).  I do have a direct line of communication with him as do all his other countless followers, which means, I pray/talk/share and he listens.  His verbal responses often arrive when I am gifted with a Nadi reading or message.  Hence in the absence of immediate responses from him, I approach this piece anticipating them, based on the nature of the indescribable relationship we have developed.  He assumes the role of guru and father to all his devotees and refers to all as son, daughter or child; accordingly, he is the father and me, the daughter in this dialogue.

So…here goes.

Writer:  Where shall we begin father?  Let’s begin with the first time we met? It was the 1st of April (no April fools joke), after a long-delayed flight, missing a connecting flight, spending an unforgettable, unplanned night in a dodgy, dingy hotel, boarding the following morning flight to Kallar, we were miraculously on time on the ashram steps at 9am, for our appointment (and reading) with Swami.

Much-loved Father: Good start, only a small correction, my child. That’s not the first time we met.  You and I met several weeks before when I steered you towards the Siddha Heartbeat site, where you first met Swami, was captivated by him and I subsequently pulled you there to Kallar.

Writer:  Correct, that is true, father.  Thank you.

Writer:  Our first meeting was beyond overwhelming.  Nothing could have prepared me for it.  You confirmed, you knew everything about me, and I knew nothing about you.  I was dazed for days. Subsequently, we worked on getting to know each other.  In my defense father, I was not responsible for wiping out my memory.

Father:  Go on, my child, type.

Writer:  The years, which followed, were amazing. You introduced me to several extraordinary people, incredible places and miraculous experiences.  I was on such a high. There were impediments along the way but I was confident you were there to help me surmount them. Subtly, as time passed, the heat was turned up. Challenges became more challenging and difficulties became more difficult. Tick tock and challenges grew uncomfortably hot. Often the speed at which they would arrive left me gasping.  But I was fearless, highly motivated and fortified. I was brave and bold for I had the support of the most courageous army with me. The heat gradually intensified and the accelerated speed of challenge delivery would leave me breathless.  I committed to the 5 tenents, to various charities and pursued several relevant practices and more. What was happening? No marks for guessing, it’s karma (you may have heard of it he hee hee). You can run but you can’t hide.  Truthfully there is no point in running, realistically where could you run. My head buzzed from pondering questions and subsequent confusion. One of the questions, which repeatedly surfaced, was the following:  the karma being meted out currently in one’s life, would it have exactly the same specifications (i.e. magnitude, intensity, speed, etc.) if one were not on the path.  In other words, could one’s karma (challenges) be more intense or less intense on the path?  I have discerned the answer to this question relative to my own journey however I pose it should anyone be curious enough to explore it from his or her perspective. Nonetheless, pondering certain subject matter should probably come with a warning. The subject of karma should definitely come with a warning.  Laboring through daily life itself can be arduous but the increment doses of karma take it to another level. At this point, please allow me to offer a cheat tip, “Do not ask, why me?”, it’s an immediate fail. The structure, format, and engineering of the karma system are beyond question. Should anyone posses a genius level of IQ, perhaps in possession of magical skills or Marvel inclined superhero talent, etc. and would like to question this system; best of luck! There is a higher probability that one could resolve their karmic challenge before unraveling the system.

Writer:  The Siddha path privileges one with insight into past lives, remediation guidance and support mechanisms on our ongoing personal journeys.  Being on the path begins its work by bringing change to every fiber of the human body, mind, and soul.  It’s objective is to guide one to realize, comprehend and accept one’s past karma and to heal or restore one’s soul to its original state.  Further to this, the path facilitates opportunities to develop and experience love and compassion for every living particle.  It also plays a pivotal role in gradually abandoning unfavorable behavioral tendencies to be replenished with appropriate life-enhancing adjustments. Ambitious mission indeed; which undoubtedly cannot be achieved overnight and definitely not without varying levels of pain or suffering. The path can, therefore, be perceived as a platform where serious work is executed, by both the Siddhas and the learners. Learners are groomed; often-through acute experiences to produce extraordinary results. There are no games here.  One has to be all in. Hence the burning question “Are you ready to surrender?” The entities that run this operation do not have the time or resources for time wasters or indecisive followers.  Although not for the faint-hearted those that commit to the path are taken by the hand, guided, supported, encouraged and nurtured through their personal journey regardless of past karma, present karma, good days, bad days, daily challenges or successes.  As long as there is surrender and faith one is assured of a union with a powerful source demonstrative of loyalty, trust, and honor for the rest of one’s current life and lifetimes ahead.  Those not ready to surrender or those who prefer things a little more laid back may find the outer periphery of the path a more suitable, comfortable and safer habitat. Certainly, an acceptable choice and acknowledging one’s lack of readiness should be respected. Choosing instead to learn, grow and experience more before taking the plunge reflects wisdom.

Writer:  Reverting to the question: could one’s karma be more intense or less intense on the path? Without a doubt, it can and is often perceived as being more intense.  However, given that there are no errors in the accounting of the karma system it is highly unlikely that one’s karma would ever be adjusted upward to make it more intense.  On the contrary, there are reliable sources, which indicate that karma is sometimes adjusted downward for devotees on the path by compassionate Siddhas.  At this point, karma can probably be let off the hook.  As mentioned earlier committing to and being on the path offers unquestionable benefits, but it is no bed of roses either.  As one progresses through their journey there are numerous challenges, hurdles, conundrums, lessons, tests, and exams.  These lessons are ongoing and can appear to be extremely daunting and adversarial.  These experiences are designed to grow, develop, nurture, shape and mold one appropriately to advance on the path.  These lessons or tests may lie outside the orbit of previously earned karma, hence distinguishing the two. The tests or exams are designed to measure and evaluate one’s performance on the path.   However, the impact and frequency of tests, lessons, tribulations, etc. in tandem with the play of karma can snowball into a larger monster creating the perception of exaggerated intensity.   

Writer:  To be really pedantic, one could ask “how does one distinguish between the play of karma and the lessons on the path?”

Father:  Mmmm, excellent question.  The easy answer, “your guru could tell you”. The diligently earned answer,  “as you progress on the path you develop the skills to decipher which is which by yourself”.

Writer:  Could one’s karma or challenges be less intense on the path? The possibility definitely exists.  Those on the path may readily agree.  My reflection of tough times often reminds me “things would have been much worse if I had to face it alone”.  In pondering the question of “more intense, less intense”, post analysis and introspection I have concluded less intense trumps more intense. My enthusiasm for authenticating this subjective finding could take all day hence I shall resist it. Furthermore, there is information, which supports that gurus/Siddhas have been known to sometimes take on the karma of their devotees.  Additionally, some gurus/Siddhas are known to gift their devotees with their tapas, thereby putting this question to rest completely.   

Writer:  Father, quick question, on the point of karma; can the precision and accuracy of the accounting principle of karma be questioned, verified or audited in any way?

Father:  You know the answer to that child.

Writer:  Actually I do father, you know me so well.

Father:  I told you that on our second meeting.

Writer:  You did indeed.

To answer the question:  Mortals may certainly question this principle.  The data, information or content of one’s accumulated karma over lifetimes is documented and available to us, provided we are ordained to receive it.  However, those who have traveled some steps on the path, who have heard the voice of the Siddhas (through readings or other), who have followed with faith, who have shown respect and trust, who have committed to elevating themselves would have earned blessings from their gurus and the Siddhas.  With these blessings, they would have received some true knowledge around their karma, which can be confirmed by their soul’s intelligence.  Hence these souls would never question the accounting of karma, ever. Instead, they are thankful for the insight.  Those without belief, respect or trust in the system are likely to dispute the findings and accuse the system of adverse opinion.  The absence of true knowledge and soul awareness is what results in distressed, anguished lamentations of,  “Why is this happening to me”.

Father:  My child, aren’t you forgetting something?

Writer:  What would that be father?

Father:  Has your portrayal of karma been fair?

Writer:  My apologies father.  I have indeed been biased and prejudiced in describing the often-misunderstood work of karma.  Karma possesses rewarding, gratifying and fulfilling attributes as well.  Karma can be generous, caring, compassionate and kind with the power to shower wealth, good health, abundance, knowledge, success, good destiny, etc.  And so he does, wherever it is due. Alas, we do not appreciate or entertain this side of karma because when he bequeaths us with anything worthy we believe we earned it and become dismissive of all else.  When he delivers undesirable gifts we lash out and remember him as being despicable.  The planet Saturn (Shani Dev) is associated with the operational management of karma hence he is trusted to deliver precisely what is earned.   He is portrayed as executing his job meticulously and has the chilling reputation of instilling of fear god in even the most feared.  

Writer:  While I have the greatest respect and appreciation for the work done by Shani Dev, I stumbled on this legendary story about him, which I found bravely amusing. Once Shani told Shiva, I want to come and stay with you. Shiva jumped into the river Ganga and remained there in Samaadhi for seven-and-a-half years, till Shani Dasha passed. After that time, Shiva came out of the river and smilingly asked Shani "What could you do to me?" Shani said, "Although you rule Tri-Lok (the Three Worlds), but from my fear you had to run and remain in Samaadhi in Ganga River for 7 and ½ years. Is that not enough for you?”.   (Sharma, R., 2013. Shani: A friend or a foe?. Speakingtree.)

Writer:  Karma, Shani Dev (planet Saturn), Kali-yuga, the veil of maya…could all of these instruments not be rolled up into one package, father?

Father:  That is a topic for another day child.

Writer:  Nevertheless, what does this mean, where does it leave us, what are our options, do we need a plan, do we have the intelligence, what resources would we need, do we have the capability to succeed, by ourselves?

Writer:  Answers to these questions may vary.  Individuals may hold different views, beliefs, and opinions.  The Siddha path offers us guidance, advice, support, direction, knowledge, insight, and various other mechanisms to paddle through difficult times.  Based on my limited experience, heeding the call, embracing the path and taking the hand of the guru offers the best, option to transcend the trappings of Maya flavored earthly existence, unforgiving karma or any life challenge.  Unfortunately, I have not explored other avenues deeply and my knowledge thereof is limited.  Regardless, the deal with karma appears pretty cut and dry.  The law of cause and effect, you reap what you sow, what goes around comes around, every action has a reaction is all based on a universal truth; free of culture, religion, faith, beliefs, etc. Indisputably, the reaction will one day arrive. Do we have the skills, capability, resources, insight or acumen to embrace or battle it?  If not, can we deploy the necessary resources from somewhere? Relative to the mammoth problem of having to faced karma or other challenges alone the solution appears too simple.  The Siddhas offer themselves to us, all that is required is faith, trust, and surrender. The opportunity to call on them during times of adversity is justifiably dependent on the value of one’s mutual relationship.  Bear in mind, this does not mean that when the “adversity” one’s karma would be simply wiped away, followed by a walk in the park and a picnic.  Far from it.  One is well-advised to be prepared for the worst and has no expectations.  It is recommended that one enhance his/her relationship with the Siddhas and increase their efforts in upholding the values and practices of the Siddhas, to earn their priceless grace which minimizes the control and impact of all challenges.  Certainly a more favored outcome than not being on the path and receiving the full wrath.

Writer:  Could it be overloading, overpowering, overwhelming?  Absolutely, it’s no invitation to a picnic.  Nonetheless, there are still options before us.  We could take the fast track now, join the Siddha path, do the work, burn the karma, endure the pain and achieve realization or we could take the laid back slow lane and opt to pursue unresolved karma in births to follow. Our karma isn’t going anywhere without us.    Kinda like… “You can check out any time you like but you can never leave”….

Writer:  Thankfully there are options.  Father, about the Eagles, did you know….

Father:  Let’s leave it there for now child; it’s been a long day.

Writer:  Yes father it has.  But do you remember that conversation we began the other day about? Can we pick up on that? 

Father:  Okay my child; you got me, about the Eagles….

Writer:  (chuckling) You’re the best father….

THE YOGI

Truman Caylor Wadlington writes in the opening paragraph of his introduction to his book "Yogi Ramsuratkumar - the Godchild of Thiruvannamalai", 

Dense is the veil of illusion which drabes the formless spirit. He who lifts even a fringe of the veil is blessed forever for then the call of the divine is faintly heard. As if coming from afar, the voice whispers words of wisdom to the sleeping soul of a man, till finally, the soul awakens from its ageless slumber to become a dawning sun of spirit shedding a light of love upon all things. 

What a lovely and beautiful way to open the subject that evades most of us and is least comprehended by even those walking the path, including me. Such wonderful writing from Truman. This book is one of the best I have read about a saint besides the autobiography of Paramahansa Yogananda. These wonderful books help keep us on the path, give hope and aspiration to take up the path of the saints if not fully at least to have a glimpse of the divine and drench and soak in its joy and bliss. I am desperately trying to piece together all the teachings that come my way from books, people, saints, and gurus and foremost Agathiyar on the subject of awakening the soul. 

Truman describes beautifully the Yogi's journey, and if I may borrow some words from him, "from a boy playing along the banks of the river Ganges; having drawn to the call of the alluring voice from within the silence of his heart; following the command that issued from within; faced with the veil of illusion; combating the darkness; destroying the illusive forms which shrouds the face of reality; and taking light as his ally and building within himself the temple of the indwelling god, that is the vehicle of higher consciousness, the subtle form of the soul; and coming face to face with having to shatter even the final form, so rare, so beautiful; and arriving at the ageless wisdom of the formless spirit, dwelling beyond the illusive forms hanging as the cosmic veil before reality - that is what the Yogi went through.

Truman writes "By a process of reorientation he reached the point when both the light and the path entered Father's house, he himself becoming the light and the path. He saw. He knew. He participated in the great plan. He related himself to the Divine Purpose and he made the Purpose his as far as he could grasp it. Then the light which he had generated within himself and was learning rapidly to use as an instrumental force revealed to him the higher way of the Higher Evolution. The mutations and transformations which he subsequently passed through led him step by step into the life of service."

He writes that "the light illuminates the way for humanity and revealing to men the path which they can and must travel. Suffusing the light of the Divine wherever darkness prevails he endeavours, unseen, to bridge the gap between matter and spirit."  Similarly, Agathiyar came as the light. Ramalinga Adigal came as the light. Both Supramania Swami and Tavayogi came as the light to me.

Truman describes the Yogi as a theoretician and a practitioner of evolution, a seer of wisdom and a giver of wisdom. Just as Tavayogi says that the Siddha cannot be restraint, Truman too describes this Godchild in such manner.

Illumined men do not necessarily act in accordance with any fixed rules, but always out of the free spontaneity of their divine nature, swept clean of all dross and impurity. Conventional morality is conducive only to the continuance of the established order, whereas the supra-ethical morality of the men of liberated consciousness calls forth higher values and further vistas of human progress.

He is a divine theurgist living and working not solely in this dense physical world but simultaneously in the supra-physical levels of his own being and in the subtler worlds of the spiritual universe. Mankind is to his work a medium for the out flowering and self-manifestation of the divine on earth. He stands hand in hand with an allied fraternity of perfected men. none of these men have forsaken or abandoned the world out of which they emerged to godhood. They wield the elemental formative energy of the divine for use in a collective transformation of an infantile humanity to the pedestal of divinity. They invoke the creative energies to descend into the world of men and transform this world into a perfect medium of integral spiritual life. 

Traveling with the Siddhas brought us to witness many miracles, healings, and instructions given. Initially disturbed by this sudden intrusion of our privacy, we begged that it should all stop. They listened. But as there was an urgent need for the divine to manifest in many ways to bring his devotees out from the maya or illusion that they were caught in, and to redeem their souls, they made us realize that they were only using the venue and the body, neither harming us nor creating a following. Then Lord Muruga and Agathiyar came and asks us to stand aside and watch, and give way to the Siddhis that they wish to perform or show us. These days we give in to Agathiyar's plans too, giving up our own likes and dislikes. And so there has been a continuous stream of visitations. I shall share one such visitation that took us all by surprise.

A couple of Agathiyar's devotees came daily to bath and cloth Agathiyar, after Ma asked that we conduct libation or abhisegam for him. At times someone might give out an instruction that appears as out of the norm, making us wonder if it was him or a divine entity who spoke. That day to ascertain that it was her buddy and not the divine in her friend, she asks in English, "Are you okay, bro?" Her friend replied "Okay." She thought she had cunningly outwitted the divine energies thinking that they never spoke English.

After both of them had dressed up Agathiyar's statue and as we sat to start the puja, the divine came in another and addressed us, "The beggar has come!" in English. My wife recognized these words immediately as that of the Yogi, who always addressed himself as a beggar. We sat in stupefied amazement and surprised. Yogi Ramsuratkumar was addressing us - in English! breaking the belief of the poor girl who thought that the divine only speaks Tamil! We were blessed to have the Yogi visit us that day, although just for a moment.

I had been doing some reading on the places of interest in Thiruvannamalai prior to my maiden visit to India in 2003. Agathiyar had wanted me to be at Thiruvannamalai on the last day of my pilgrimage, asking me to circumambulate (Girivalam) the holy hill of Arunachala. The other condition was that it had to be a full moon day. So my itinerary was planned to accommodate Agathiyar's instructions. On Day 9 of my pilgrimage to India that was to be the pinnacle of my Journey, I started for Tiruvannamalai at 7.15 am, on 9 September, stopping over at Viradeswarar Temple in Tirukovilur at 10.40 am. I continued our journey to Tiruvannamalai at 11 am, reaching the temple at 1.15 pm. We were at the temple grounds until 1.50 pm. I had a beautiful Darshan, and pretty close one too of Lord Annamalaiyar and Goddess Unna Mulaiyal. I worshipped the underground (patala) Shivalingam where Ramana Maharishi had meditated. I left for the hotel at 2.30 pm. The full moon began at 10.47 pm and lasted until 10.48 pm the next day (10 September 2003). At 5.30 pm, I walked to the temple from the hotel. I joined the long queue to get another Darshan of the Lord before embarking on the Girivalam. It was a long queue indeed, for I only saw the Lord at 9 pm. At 9.40 pm, I started on the Girivalam path finishing back at the temple grounds at 6.30 am on 10 September. I stopped over at the following places of worship:

Tuesday, 9th September

9.45 pm Agni Lingam in the temple grounds
10.40 pm Seshadari Ashram, Amman Temple, Dhakshinamurthi Temple
10.45 pm Kali Temple
11.30 pm Ramana Ashram

11.40 pm Seeking to visit Yogi Ramsuratkumar's samadhi temple, I asked for directions but realized that I was taken further and further away from the Girivalam route. I then decided that I shall come back to visit the Yogi's ashram the next day after daybreak and returned to the Girivalam route to continue my parikaram. 

11.55 pm Murugan Temple, Sakti Temple, Adi Sankara Madam, tank

Wednesday, 10th September

12.10 am cemetery, Yama Lingam
12.20 am Mrityam or Jaya Lingam, Ganesa Temple
12.35 am a tank, Dhurvasa Temple, Nandi Temple
12.50 am a tank, Jothi Vinayagar Temple
1.20 am Vallalar Temple, Annamalaiyar Temple, Unna Mulaiyal Temple
1.30 am Anjaneyar Temple
1.40 am Palani Andavar Temple, Raja Rajeswari Temple, Nandi Temple
1.50 am Adi Mudi Siddha Samadhi, Kautamar Rishi Temple, Surya Lingam Temple, Rama Temple, Varuna Lingam Temple, Adi Arunachaleswarer Temple
2.45 am Manikavachagar Temple, Ganesa Temple, Sakti Temple, Sudhananda ashram
3.10 am Vayu Lingam Temple
3.20 am a tank, Ramachandra Swami Ashram
4.20 am Kuberan Lingam Temple
4.40 am Eduku Pillaiyaar Temple, Panja Muka Darshan Temple, Brahma Rishi Temple, Esaki Temple
5.00 am Arthanathiswarar Temple
5.10 am Seenivasa Perumal Temple, Cemetery, Ammani Ammal Peedham, Esanya Lingam Temple
5.30 am Esanya Samadhi, Annamalaiyar Temple
5.55 am Draupadi Amman Temple
6 am Durga, Anjaneyar, and Perumal Temples and
finally, Erathai Vinayagar Temple at 6.30 am ending the Girivalam at the Eastern Gopuram.

Day 10, after lunch that day, I went back to Ramana Maharishi’s ashram and sat at his samadhi. Later I left For Yogi Ramsuratkumar’s ashram, which I did not get to visit earlier during the girivalam. Unfortunately, Yogi Ramsuratkumar’s ashram was closed for lunch. My endeavor to be in the presence of the Yogi was not to be, it seemed. But what I did not realize was that I had to meet the Yogi's student and disciple first before coming to him.

Just before I left Malaysia for India, my wife reminded me that we had not consulted an astrologer on the astrological chart for our second daughter. Since I was going to India, she asked me to look into it. Her timely request was to be the first twist in my journey. Since I had the rest of the day to myself, I asked if Devendran, who was assigned to me at the eleventh hour by my tour agent, replacing Raji, knew any astrologer. This switch was the second twist. He tells me his uncle is one and stayed nearby. This was the third twist. We drove some eight kilometers out of Tiruvannamalai to meet Devendran’s uncle. What I did not know then was that seeing Supramania Swami over an astrological chart was only a reason to meet my Guru in waiting. Devendran introduced me as a tourist from Malaysia who was there for his (my) daughter’s astrological chart reading. I mentioned my name to Devendran’s uncle. He did not say anything but instead led us to his prayer room, lighted the camphor or arati and I worshipped it. He had Devendran bring his deerskin and had his son Ramajayam bring out all the almanacs or panjangam and placed them on the floor outside his home. I prepared myself to listen to the astrological revelation of my daughter’s future. However, what he did was to talk about my future and me.

He started off the conversation, breaking the ice, by mentioning to me that he had been going around Mount Tiruvannamalai on full moon days, for the past thirty years now, but could not do it the night before due to ill health. This was the fourth twist. The miracle was that even though he was ill and unable to go on Girivalam that night, I was brought to him.

He began mentioning his masters. He had had five of them. Amongst them was his own father, Jayaraman Pillai, Pundi Mahan (Atru Swami), Sathanandha Swami of Salem (author of the Kandhar Guru Kavasam), Kolli Malai Swami and Yogi Ramsuratkumar (Visiri Swami) himself!

As we sat together in the open air in that small home in a village known as Nachaanthal, oblivious to what was happening around us and the surrounding; unaware that many curious neighbors and kids had dropped by to view this ‘rare visitor’ from Malaysia, Supramania Swami revealed new happenings that were about to take place in my life. He could tell a number of intimate things about the life and mission I was to face. As he was narrating, I could not help but break down. I cried like a child. I cried for blessings I had received from God until that very moment. I realized how much God loved me then. As I kept on crying, Supramania Swami surprised me further with more predictions. I cried aloud again.

When Devendran did mention to Swami that it took me nine hours compared to three hours for others to go around mount Tiruvannamalai, Swami replied, “Of course it would take that long for he (referring to me) had been stopping over at all the places of worship and ashrams.” Now how did he know that?

I was blessed to receive Guru Upadesam and a teecha Mantra to be recited. He asked that I chant the Mantra for half an hour each day reminding me, “Just as a silversmith polishes his wares we too shall slowly work on it till we achieve it.” “Take him back with you”, was his parting words to me referring to Lord Annamalaiyar. As we left his home, he stood there, hands together in prayer for me. He was praying for my safe journey. I in return stood there with my palms in prayer to him too, not knowing what was appropriate for the moment. We left him as night fell over this small village known as Nacha Ananthal. I reached the hotel at 8 pm. I spent some five blissful hours in his presence that day!

Day 11, Thursday, 11 September, 6.30 am, I walked to Annamalaiyar Temple to have his Darshan again. His pull on me was tremendous that I had to visit him several times. There was no crowd any longer on the temple grounds. I took my time to pray and look around. I returned to the hotel after breakfast. Devendran turned up at the door to my hotel room at 10 am. We went over to Ramana Maharishi’s ashram. At 10.40 am, I sat at Yogi Ramsuratkumar’s Samadhi finally, after missing out to see him twice. No one was around then, except for an employee from the ashram stationed to distribute prasadham to devotees at the entrance. It was beautiful here. The calmness away from the hectic atmosphere in most of the major temples that I had visited earlier. I went over to Kuberan Lingam at 11.30 pm, following Supramania Swami’s instructions and left for Chennai at 11.40 am. After Tiruvannamalai and the Darshan of Supramania Swami, nothing was important anymore.

When I was with Supramania Swami on my second visit to India in 2005, I was blessed to witness a miracle in his (Swami’s) kudil. After all the formalities, later that night at 7.30pm, Swami led me on a prayer. His wife and son had gone out. He started chanting his guru, Yogi Ramsuratkumar’s name (Nama japam). It went, "YOGI RAMSURATKUMARA, YOGI RAMSURATKUMARA, YOGI RAMSURATKUMARA JAYA GURURAAYA". As it was a simple mantra, I followed suit and chanted along. After about a few minutes into the recitation, I heard a third voice - that of a male chanting together. In that quiet and silent hours of dusk, I could hear Swami’s voice. I could hear mine. I heard another voice that seemed deep and strong. But how could that be? There was no one else in the kudil. Yet I could hear distinctly another voice. So who was this third-person chanting with us? I kept my eyes closed throughout the chant. The mysterious voice continued chanting with us. Eventually, after about twenty minutes, there was an air of silence. Thinking that Swami had ended the japam I opened my eyes just in time to see him walk out of his prayer room.  I followed him. Imagine, I had wanted to ask him about this third voice throughout the japam, but completely 'forgot' about it as I stepped out of the room.

Later upon returning to Tiruvanamalai and Swami's kudil again, after visiting Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal at his Kallar Ashram, Swami surprised me asking, “Did you hear the voice?” triggering my memory back to the first day at his kudil. I recalled and remembered then that I had heard a third person sing along with Swami and me. I immediately asked him who it was. He gave a loud laugh and answered, “That was Visiri Matai” referring to his guru Visiri Swami (Yogi Ramsuratkumar). Although Swami had five gurus he, chooses to invoke the Yogi at prayer. Was it his wish that I should witness this miracle take place and should know the greatness of the Yogi? Such was the extend of devotion towards his guru by Supramania Swami that he could call upon him (Yogi Ramsuratkumar who had gone into samadhi on 20 February 2001) to appear among us. And such was the grace of the Yogi that he chooses to appear before his disciple. Swami told me too that the Yogi, after having attained samadhi, had appeared one late night, at Swami’s home in his village of Nachanananthal. The Yogi presented a painting of himself to Swami before disappearing into the darkness, his laughter echoing in the air. The painting adorned his altar.

Just before I returned to Malaysia, I accompanied Swami to the Yogi’s ashram on a Pradosham day. Swami sat in front of the Nandi and was absorbed in watching the abhisegam for a long time. His gaze was fixed on the inner sanctum throughout the Pooja. What was he watching, I wondered without moving neither a limb or muscle?

Although Supramania Swami was laid to rest in Tiruvannamalai on the path of Girivalam after he went into samadhi on 7 February 2007, but the Guru-Disciple relationship between us continued beyond the physical realm as I was soon to find out. One day as my wife and I concluded our puja, my cellphone rang for a moment and stopped. As I picked it up I realized it was Supramania Swami's number. But I knew that his family had terminated his line after he passed away. How was this possible then? When I finished relating this incident to my nephew who also knew Swami, some days later, there was a call while I was on the line with him. To my surprise, it was Swami's number, again. Puzzled I reconfirmed with Swami's son about the line and he assured me that it was terminated. I called the number several days later. It was now used by a businessman in Coimbatore. How do you explain this? Just as the Yogi came to his home in the middle of the night several months after his demise and handed him his painting before leaving, Supramania Swami appeared in the sukshma form or subtle form, announcing his arrival at my home, through this miracle. Some months later Agathiyar confirms through the Nadi that this miracle did indeed take place.

GAINING GROUND ON THE PATH TO ATTAIN JNANAM

As Tavayogi wrote in his book, Andamum Pindamum, its translation:

The common man cannot travel the journey as long as he is a captive of the physical and material body. A transformation and transmutation within the depths of the body is required prior to venturing further on. The experiencing of this internal process that comes with the internal journey is Jnanam and Soruba Siddhi. The Siddha path leads to this experience. 

மனிதன் உடலில் இருக்கும் வரை மேல்நோக்கிப் பயணம் செய்ய முடியாது. ஆகவே பஞ்சபூத உடலை வேதியியல் மாற்றத்தால் மாற்றி மூல அணுவாக மாற்றி புவியீர்ப்புக் கோட்டை கடந்து வெட்டவெளியில் சேர்ந்து  சுதந்திரமாக  உலாவுவதே ஞானம் ஆகும். அதுவே சொரூப சித்தி எனப்படும். அதை போதிப்பதுதான் சித்தர் நெறி. வெட்டவெளி ஜோதியாவதே ஞானம்.

The Siddha path leads to Jnanam. But before one can safely reach that juncture, he has to traverse Sariyai, Kriyai, and Yogam. Sariyai and Kriyai bring him to worship, to address and attend to the divine who is given a form in the external world of ours. Yogam brings him to master his body and mind. Then the journey begins to turn inwards rather than forward as one would expect.

G. Valmikanathan in his book "Makers of Indian Literature - Ramalingam", published by Sahitya Akademi (e-book at http://www.vallalar.org) throws some light on the outcome of the way adopted by Ramalinga Adigal. The purgative way that Ramalinga Adigal transcended, "Purging oneself of all desires and attachments, of all imperfections, of all acts of commission and omission of shortcomings in renunciation, of shortcomings in the total love of God in the passion for the apprehension of the Godhead", brought him to the illuminative way, which then resulted in him arriving at the unitive way. The illuminative way is where "one gains illumination, knowledge, and gnosis."

The unitive way is where "the pilgrim marches on with buoyant and joyous steps, filled with hope and freed from doubt or misconception. The journey is characterized by a sense of urgency. The pilgrim, in this part of his journey, begins to walk fast, then breaks into a loping trot, finally, gallops on with increasing tempo towards the beckoning smile and the outstretched arms, and is soon locked in an eternal embrace with the beloved, the eternal being, the Godhead, the ground of all being. The journey in a unitive way is composed of several factors of experience. Recollection and quiet, contemplation, ecstasy and rapture, dark night of the soul, and unitive life."

Henry Wei in his book "The Guiding Light of Lao Tzu, Synergy Books International, describes this phase as "perhaps the most mysterious feature of mystic meditation.... mystic union that takes place at the end of the journey."

The mystic union is said to be entirely personal and could not be communicated from one person to another. In other words the mystic union is something extremely mysterious. It may be called the mystery of mysteries. It is perhaps the most mysterious feature of mystic meditation....

Mystic union represents the unique experience stemming from "the flight of the alone to the Alone" as the famous mystic Plotinus has so well expressed. Unfortunately it cannot be easily attained much less isolated and measured and experimented upon in the laboratory. Its actuality is entirely based on the experience and confession of the mystic themselves who were completely convinced of its authenticity.

Henry Wei continues,

By all reports the mystic or divine union is an exceedingly exhilarating experience, superior in joy and sweetness to all other human experiences. Those who have experienced mystic union feel that they are blessed with the esctatic consciousness of ultimate reality and consequently consider all else as secondary and unnecessary even vain and empty.  

Henry Wei writes that their scale of values changes radically; their attitude towards life changes too; their health improves; they have sharper and deeper understanding and a clear spiritual vision. These experiences gained when one travels inwards is Jnanam, says Agathiyar, and it shall defer from person to person.

Valmikanathan compares the nature of these experiences gained or endured in each of these stages,

Of these three sections of the pathway, the first is painful and dolorous; the second a strange mixture of sorrow and joy, the joy increasing in intensity as ignorance is slowly replaced by illumination; and the last section of sheer delight, of mounting bliss. 

I guess I had made a wish in one of my previous births if I could borrow a verse from the movie Little Buddha, that "Perhaps one day you will find me." And so he did. I had the calling to see the Nadi that started me back on the journey to locate and find him. Today I can cry out loud, "Oh, my teacher, I am so happy to have found you again." But wait shall this divine matrimony take place? Henry Wei quotes Rabindranath Tagore on this mystic union,

"The Paramatman, the supreme soul, has himself chosen this soul of ours as his bride and the marriage has been completed." 

Ramalinga Adigal composes a beautiful song of how his Lord had told him to prepare for this bridal marriage or mystic union an hour before the event takes place.

1. மணம்புரி கடிகை இரண்டரை எனும் ஓர்
வரையுள தாதலால் மகனே
எணம்புரிந் துழலேல் சவுளம்ஆ தியசெய்
தெழில்உறு மங்கலம் புனைந்தே
குணம்புரிந் தெமது மகன் எனும் குறிப்பைக்
கோலத்தால் காட்டுக எனவே
வணம்புரி மணிமா மன்றில் என் தந்தை
வாய் மலர்ந் தருளினர் மகிழ்ந்தே.

Read more at http://www.thiruarutpa.org/thirumurai/v/T338/tm/peerataivu

Knowing his karma that determined his birth and continues to determine his future; taking measures in the form of performing remedies and building on his existing stock of merits by doing charitable acts and worshipping the divine forces; respecting and acknowledging the existence of the myriad of beings both divine and otherwise; strengthening his body and his soul; uplifting other souls to a higher level;  he then uses these as tools to journey further into the deepest reaches of his self. Standing at the threshold of Jnana, the divine works in him, bringing new experiences that uplift his standing. He too becomes divine in nature.

Tavayogi who made many visits to Malaysia sowed the teachings of the Siddhas following in the footsteps of his guru Chitramuthu Adigal and his Paramaguru Jeganathar. We are indeed gifted to have him come by and bring salvation to us. He pointed us to Agathiyar, never allowing us to worship him (Tavayogi). He brought us straight to the source and told us to partake the ambrosia as much as possible. He delivered us to Agathiyar and stepped aside. We are grateful to Tavayogi. Ramalinga Adigal came and told us to continue to take hold of Agathiyar. Lord Muruga passes us to Agathiyar instead, each time he comes. Agathiyar has painstakingly guided us in the best possible way, customizing the way to meet each individual's separate needs. There was no SOP given out where all could adhere to. Each found his own niche in the group. Many left while others stayed. Agathiyar is trying his best to work on us, to uplift us amidst all the filth, trash and baggage we carry. Nevertheless, he never gives up on us. We are indeed grateful for his compassion, care, and guidance.

Bringing us together, where a small congregation of his devotees gathered to worship him, he gave birth to Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM), a name taken after the place where Tavayogi set up his very first shed that was to become an ashram. Taking heed of his advice for the need to do charity, hand in hand with worship, Amudha Surabhi (AS) was born. AS as the working arm of AVM stretched its arms out in assisting the unfortunate, poor, needy and hungry. When Agathiyar and the Siddhas, because of their great mercy, converged in on our grounds to partake in the festivities and events held for them and later stayed back to engage in meditation or tavam, Agathiyar Tapovanam Malaysia came to be. When they came to guide and instruct us personally, Jnana Kottam was born. This is how this small group evolve both in name and spirit.

Then the day came where we had to learn yet another lesson, that of detachment to people, things and in this case the organization. He dispersed the group, to go on their own journey of discovery, taking the tools and knowledge attained with them. Agathiyar showed us labels and identifications were not important. He wanted us to understand the impermanency of all things on the face of the earth. As the kid laments that their monastery has been completely destroyed by feuding warlords while watching from afar, the cook consoles him by bringing the truth to him that Shaolin continues to live in the hearts of these escapists, Agathiyar wanted us to drop the identification with labels, a name, a guru, an establishment, a practice, a code, a regime, and a doctrine, and instead carry the seed and the essence of his teaching and live it out. From here on it is each man's journey, each man's battle. Many who saw it as an honor to attach to all these labels, felt betrayed and disappointed when Agathiyar had me dissolve the groups, like the first five disciples of Buddha who deserted him after Buddha took the Middle Way. Some who understood that it was only the group that was dissolved but the relationship intact kept coming to pay their homage to Agathiyar at AVM. To this few, he has dictated them to open their hearts and let him in. He has asked that we go within. The external journey has come to an end and the journey within has started.

The purgative way was spoken about by Lao Tzu, asking us to "Reduce and reduce." Yen Hui emptied himself of himself at the height of purgation, something necessary for the mystic attainment of Tao or ultimate reality. Agathiyar says his path too would narrow down to a handful who are determined to accomplish what they had started out with Agathiyar's aid. The casual devotees shall leave on their own accord, making a comeback when ready and when they understand the way fully.

It has been an interesting journey. As Tavayogi says, we just don't know what else he has in store for us. It is now his journey that we have undertaken, tearing apart our itinerary. He has not revealed the blueprint in whole yet but he is giving bits of pieces of the puzzle at a time for us to assemble. As Sanjivji from Delhi messaged me some moments ago,

Expecting and accepting are two sides of life. Expecting  will lead to tears where as accepting life the way it is will make you cheer....Accept life the way it comes !!!

On the Path of the Buddha

LIVING IN THE PRESENT MOMENT

Whenever my granddaughter drops by or I am at their home, she would spread her toys on the floor and asks me to sit with her. She would go about playing with her toys and occasionally asks for some help if the need arises. She will teach me and asks that I join her in her games. I try to put aside whatever I am doing then when she comes to me. We then spend some precious moments in each other's company. She was unknowingly giving me lessons in staying in the moment.

Flipping through Yu Dan's book "Confucius from the Heart", Pan Books, I was surprised to read the following that describes what my granddaughter and I do. Yu Dan writes about the story of a king who had three questions. 

1. Who is the most important person in this world?

2. What is the most important thing?

3. When is the most important time to do things?

No one from his court could give him answers to these three questions. Disheartened he went out into the countryside. He took shelter in the house of an old man as night fell. In the middle of the night, a man covered in blood asks to take refuge in the home of the old man. He took him in without asking any questions. When the king's soldiers came by and inquired if the old man had seen anyone come by, the old man replied "I don't know. There is nobody else here."

Once the soldiers left the man said a few words of gratitude and left too. 

The next day, the king inquired of the old man if he was not afraid to harbor a fugitive and why he did not asks who he was and what he had done. The old man replied calmly,

In this world, the most important person is the person in front of you who needs your help,

the most important thing is to help them, and

the most important time is right now! you cant delay not even an instant.

The king got the answers to his much-deliberated questions.

The people, the place and the event at any particular time are most important. If you are a tourist or at an event savor the scenery or the moment rather then trying to capture them on camera. You shall miss out on the moment. Pay attention to the people, the matter on hand rather than making ourselves only physically present and have our thoughts engaged elsewhere. Give full and complete priority to the people and tasks on hand, rather than fondling the phone.

My granddaughter would ask me to join her in spinning and going round and round, which I understood later was an act of activating the chakras. She would dance, jump or go into simple yoga positions. She in return will join me in meditation, although just a few minutes. She joins us in preparing for the puja where I get her to involve by asking her often what we were to do next or if we had missed out doing or placing something, doing libation or abhisegam or singing the praise of the Siddhas. Agathiyar tells us the reason he asks us to sing his praises is to bring us into the moment and shut out all thoughts, hence creating one-pointedness and concentration on the tasks on hand, which itself is meditation. The rituals and the preparations towards it too help bring us to a state of contemplation, where all other thoughts are shut out. All these help us live in the present moment.

This is what Agathiyar, Ma and Aiya have been reminding us too. To take life in its stride, learn the lessons from the experiences gained and move on, sharing them with those keen to know and follow. These experiences will become knowledge and wisdom to others. Just like Agathiyar, Ma, Aiya and the abbot at the monastery in the movie Shaolin tell us that we are here to gain lessons from our experiences, mostly sought and desired by us and many others given or brought upon us as a result of others in our lives, Yu Dan too writes,

What is most significant about people like Confucious or any of the great thinkers from China and abroad, past and present is that they drew from their own practical experiences of life, truths and principles that everybody can use. These truths are not found in the pages of massive volumes of the classics and ancient records, the kind you need a magnifying glass and an enormous dictionary to read and that will take you a lifetimes laborious study to understand. They have passed down to us their living, breathing experience of human life through all the great sweeping changes the world has gone through so that we can still feel its warmth. From a thousand years ago they are smiling down on us watching us in silence as we continue to reap the benefits of their words. 

These words exactly describe the compassion of the Siddhas too who have given us tons of literature and documentation of their experiences, as Siddha Vaidyar Arivan says, expressed explicitly in songs to those who can comprehend them. Agathiyar tells us to understand and comprehend their works. He asks us not to study translations but to read their original texts. Soon the author of the work, in this case, the Siddha concern will enlighten us from within on the nature and meaning of their songs.

From the movie Lucy we gain valuable insight as to the importance of gaining knowledge, experience and the lessons that come with it. When Lucy calls Professor Norman to tell him that his theory on the use of the brain capacity although rudimentary, but he was on the right track, as she was prove of it, the Professor fills her in.

"If you think about the very nature of life, I mean, from the very beginning, the development of the first cell that divided into two cells. The sole purpose of life has been to pass on what was learned. There was no higher purpose. So if you're asking me what to do with all this knowledge you're accumulating, I'd say pass it on. Just like any simple cell going through time." (Source: https://www.scripts.com/script/lucy_1276)

For those keen to decipher the secrets of life, we are asked to move within. Before contemplating meditating though, we are required to cleanse the inside, both mental and physical. Agathiyar has had us cleanse the body and its inside first before venturing further. It would be a faster and far less intimidating process if we have been adopting a vegetarian diet for some years. The journey within is true wisdom or Jnana says Agathiyar. Attaining Jnana is akin to becoming a bright star in the massive night sky. I remember the lone sadhu Sri Dayananda whom Tavayogi brought me to see on our rounds of visiting living gurus. Initially refusing to be photographed, later he allowed me a single shot. He told me the next time I come around he shall be a star amongst the others in the sky. We have come to realize the same as we watch Ramalinga Adigal who had overcome the laws of nature, the pull of gravity and all its related forces, etc find it hard to have his feet on the ground, and we have to hold on tight to him lest he is spirited away. Elsewhere we come to learn from the Isha Foundation that the anklet serves as a shackle to anchor saints to their bodies, who otherwise shall leave the face of the earth.

As Agathiyar prepares us to go within, traversing the internal journey on the Siddha path, he gives us a hint of what to expect. Tavayogi wrote about this in his first book, Andamum Pindamum.

பூமியின் ஈர்ப்புச் சக்தியான மையப்பகுதியை கடந்து எந்த ஒரு பொருளோ புவி ஈர்ப்புத் தன்மைக்கு அப்பால் சென்றால் அது வெட்டவெளியில் சுதந்திரமாக மிதக்கிறது என்று விஞ்ஞானம் கூறுகிறது. அதேபோல் மனிதனும் தன்னை கீழ்நோக்கி இருக்கும் மூலாதார சக்தியை மேல் நோக்கிச் செலுத்தினால் பிண்டத்தின் ஈர்ப்புச் சக்தியை கடந்தால் மனிதனும் வெட்டவெளியில் சுதந்திரமாக இருக்கலாம். ஆனால் மனிதன் உடலில் இருக்கும் வரை மேல்நோக்கிப் பயணம் செய்ய முடியாது. ஆகவே பஞ்சபூத உடலை வேதியியல் மாற்றத்தால் மாற்றி மூல அணுவாக மாற்றி புவியீர்ப்புக் கோட்டை கடந்து வெட்டவெளியில் சேர்ந்து  சுதந்திரமாக  உலாவுவதே ஞானம் ஆகும். அதுவே சொரூப சித்தி எனப்படும். அதை போதிப்பதுதான் சித்தர் நெறி. பிரபஞ்சத்தின் சிறிய அணுவான மனிதன் மூல சக்தி என்கிற கயற்றின் நுனியைப் பிடித்து கொஞ்சம் கொஞ்சமாக பிரபஞ்ச பேராற்றலின் பரமாணுவை அடைந்து அதோடு ஐக்கியமாக முடியும் என்று கண்டுபிடித்தான். கண்டுபிடித்து அடைந்தவன் சித்தன். வெட்டவெளியில் ஜோதியாக இருப்பவனும் சித்தனே. வெட்டவெளி ஜோதியாவதே ஞானம். அதுவே பிரம்மரகசியம்.

Its translation:

Breaking its hold on gravity one is lost in weightlessness. Similarly, man too, traveling the chakras, and once he breaks the body's hold on him is freed. But unfortunately, the common man cannot travel the journey as long as he is a captive of the physical and material body. A transformation and transmutation within the depths of the body is required prior to venturing further on. The experiencing of this internal process that comes with the internal journey is Jnanam and Soruba Siddhi. The Siddha path leads to this experience. Man who himself is a lesser part of the bigger source through enhancing the spirit and the hidden power in him grabs the rope and makes his way little by little, to eventually merge with his source. 

CONVERSATIONS WITH AGATHIYAR - THE REAL JOURNEY BEGINS

The line that Tavayogi and Gowri Arumugam wrote for the title song of Raagawave Production's Audio Cd album Agathiyar Geetham, "Yaarappa Nee Konjam Sollappa" comes to our lips when we recall the many amazing and astonishing miracles he performs. We are constantly asking him, "Who are you, please do tell us" for he keeps on dishing miracles upon miracles including bringing a fresh understanding of things.

When I made my maiden journey to India to carry out my parikaram or remedies meted out by him in the Nadi, he came mysteriously in several places to bless me, without any prior notice. When on my second pilgrimage this time with Tavayogi, he came again to perform miracles this time giving me prior notice through the Nadi. He added that after I returned home to Malaysia, the miracles shall continue. Indeed they have.

These days they come in a person to deliver their thoughts. Each day is a special day where we have a story to tell.

We do not deserve his grace in the very first place but he comes to us as a loving father, a loving mother, a loving guru and at times a stern one too. He comes as a companion too. We were never interested to research the medium through whom they came. Neither did we venture to know the what, how and why he came. We were only interested in his message. We adopted his message, advice, and guidance and executed them to the best of our ability. When we slipped or slackened behind, he comes to wake us up to the tasks given, with stern words. As the honeymoon years were over he means business these days. He has shunned the holidaymakers and is seen to be working on a small number of dedicated workers. We are blessed to be among them. 

After the demise of my two wonderful gurus, Agathiyar has come personally to guide us on. His entourage of Siddhas come too. He brings the Gods and Goddesses. But sadly we have yet to lay our eyes on them. We sense their presence though. We see miracles performed. They speak through others. Already this is all too much to absorb. When Dr. Nanjan, a veterinarian from Ooty who accompanied Tavayogi to Malaysia many years back told me of his blessed moment of seeing Agathiyar arise, tie his long hair and disappear from the prayer room of an elderly couple, I could not believe my ears as he could not believe his eyes too. Could that be possible I asked myself? Then Jnana Jhotiamma tells me she saw him at my home during her visit in 2013. This amazed us further as we have never seen him till this day. We were happy for her. Several years back, a friend who drives the Grab pickup service picked up a passenger, an Australian lady of Chinese origin, who was attending a seminar in Malaysia. As the conversation moved on to the Siddhas and as she was keen to visit AVM after my friend mentioned my place, he asks permission to bring her over. She came out of my prayer room in tears mentioning she saw Agathiyar standing ceiling height! We were happy for her too.

What we saw in the Bakti movies we are seeing happen around us. Watching the Chinese movie Shaolin made us realize many pertinent points that we could connect to. If the master taught his Shaolin students the skills as in kungfu he taught his cook jnana or internal wisdom.  He was to bring the seed over to new territories when his monastery falls into the hands of feuding warlords and is destroyed to the ground. Just as the abbot asks the cook which was more valuable, the gold or mud, between the students and the cook, the cook is a valuable asset to any organization, for he feeds the students who turn up very very hungry after a grueling day of training, from 9am to 9pm. He feeds the master who dispenses the skills and the teachings too. Hence the reason Ramalinga Adigal told my wife henceforth she need not engage in any further form of ritual, practice, or meditation but to just feed all devotees at AVM.

As Tavayogi told me that we should not run to Agathiyar for every minute thing, but rather use our brain or arivu to discern and act accordingly, in the movie Messiah, the messenger of God tells the minister its time to go, leave the Church and the town, the minister asks, "Go? Wait. Go where?" The Messiah gives him a piece of his mind, that is very relevant to us too.

"What is your purpose? Why did God give you this life to live now? God is speaking to all of us, Felix. Let him speak to you. You decide where we go." Very often we want God to make decisions on our behalf so that we can fall back on him in the event things go wrong or turn to him for support or a way out. The minister leads his family and all who have gathered at the Church grounds not knowing where to head, looking for signs from the Messiah. Finally, they end up at Washington Dc where then the Messiah performs the miracle, the feat of walking on water. I understood that God waits for us to lay the groundwork before he steps in or makes his appearance. We need to prepare for his arrival both physically and mentally before he comes. This we are seeing these days happen in our events and prayers. It is a totally new experience. We have opened our hearts and minds these days to all things possible, putting aside our logical mind and savoring the miraculous moments. Thank you for traveling with me.

CONVERSATIONS WITH AGATHIYAR - A NEW JOURNEY BEGINS

When we left the hotel in Trichy where we had stayed for the night, Tavayogi turned around to me and said, "Only now the true journey begins!". The year was 2005. We were to head for Agasthiyampalli and on the way back to Kallar stopover at Kutralam, Tanjavur, Papanasam, Palani. I wondered why he said that? I had come to Agathiyar after a Nadi reading in 2002. I picked up ways to worship the Siddhas from numerous sources. Why was a journey taken with Tavayogi be different? 

In the film Shaolin, the abbot of the monastery asks his cook which is of value, gold or mud? The cook replies Gold. The master then tells him that "For the seed its the mud!" So it seems that everything has a purpose and use. There were many more brief but enlightening moments between the abbot and the cook. When in the presence of the Shaolin students who excelled, the cook saw himself only capable of cooking, the abbot tells him that cooking itself was a form of meditation. As feuding warlords fight to expand their power and territories, the cook is asked to lead the civilians to safety. Watching from afar a young boy laments that the monastery has been destroyed. The cook tells him, "It lives in you!" Although the structures have been brought down the teachings live in the hearts of students. He and the young students were the seed that was to spread Shaolin to others. So too it is with AVM. Although the group has been dissolved the teachings live in the hearts of a handful. 

As Suren and I talked about all that transpired over the past few months at AVM, he recalled the very first time he stepped into AVM. Only a handful of seekers of Agathiyar gathered then. Over the years it grew to quite a large group that we found difficult to accommodate in the small home of mine. Then as I struck the demolition lever on my smartphone and removed each name from the group, hence dissolving the group, Agathiyar comes to claim that it was all his doing, showing us the impermanence of things be they good or bad. But although the group does not exist we are still friends and devotees of Agathiyar and can still keep in touch over the phone. When Agathiyar indicated that we needed to go within now, I thought I should close the doors to my home too. But he has asked that I keep it open, for there are seekers yet to come. To those who come he tells me to bring them into meditation instead.

This made Suren and me realize that the earlier journey upon his arrival at AVM was one of an external journey. We took up the worship of the Siddhas at AVM that included performing rituals like lighting the Homa, bathing the deities, singing their praise, etc; bringing these rituals from my home at AVM into the homes of fellow devotees too; and extending them to the numerous temples that sanctioned and allowed us to conduct the Siddha puja in their premises. Many made regular pilgrimages to India and found themselves at the sites of worship of Agathiyar elsewhere too like in Cambodia, Indonesia, Singapore, Thailand, etc. Then the termination day came. The group was closed. But the handful who still frequent AVM has now taken on another journey, that of going within. We have come back one full circle and find ourselves at the starting point again, only this time, it is a journey of going within. He has got me to come one full circle too, bringing me to chant the very first initiation mantra received from Tavayogi but under different circumstances now and doing the Pranayama exercises he taught me in the early years of apprenticeship, bringing a new meaning to them now. This reminds me of Siddha Vaidyar Bhani who addressed us back then when I frequented other establishments linked with Agathiyar. He had quoted a song by Avvai and told us how its meaning differed to different people in different stages of evolution. As a child, he was told to stand before Lord Ganapathy and sing this song of praise to get his blessings. When he took up the study of Siddha medicine, his guru told him that the song had hidden references to numerous herbs and the means of preparation of a particular Siddha medicine. Coming to his spiritual guru now, Yogi Ramaiah, his guru told him that the song was entirely one that depicted Jnana in its highest state.

When I ask Agathiyar that I should take birth upon birth to serve him, he puts a question back to me, "Is that your desire?" I sensed immediately that it was not what we should ask for. He reminded me of Tavayogi too. When I told Tavayogi that I had a wish, that I should see both Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal, he replied casually that they would come but asks me if that is what I wanted? What mooted me to asks for more births to serve him was that I had no particular wishes or desires. Since each time he comes he asks what is it that we want, what would one then ask for? All the garlanding, the praises sung, the food laid before him, were all in the very first place given by him. We only source them from his entire creation. What is it that "I" have to give him, that I can proudly say was my creation from dust? Nothing. I am no creator. I have nothing to my credit. Even claiming that Body (Udal), Possesions (Porul), Spirit (Aaavi) was his, was a misnomer, for they too are given by him and he can snatch them from us anytime. Then I thought the only thing that I could safely say was mine was the choice to make an effort, for another can turn away and leave others to carry it out. So I told him I wanted to be forever in his service or Seva. But it seems that it was not "the thing" to asks for. Then I told him that it was only in taking birth that we could be of service to him and asked if there was another means to serving him without taking birth in this world? He remained quiet. I then told him if he was satisfied with the service I did to him in this birth, let it all come to an end. He told me he had to leave as his disciple had summoned him and left abruptly without answering. I suppose he chose not to answer that too, at least for now.

When devotees, seekers, and the public would sit before him and asks to read the Jeeva Nadi for a solution to their problems, Tavayogi chose to see them as mere issues, considered minute and petty, that can be solved by them if only they used their thought faculties or arivu sensibly. He would lament that no one came seeking for Jnana and the means and ways to achieve it. Talking over the phone with Mahin, similarly, I lamented just as Tavayogi did that no one asks for Jnana but were more concerned with day to day matters that they could figure out themselves and work a solution or seek professional help. I told Mahin that maybe we should asks for Jnana too as Tavayogi says, not knowing the least what Jnana meant or what we were asking for. The next time Agathiyar came he told me that "You had asked for Jnana", surprising me for how did he know about something I spoke to Mahin over the phone? He then surprised me further. Jnana was not something he could give but instead I had to work for it and work towards it. Agathiyar, Ma and Aiya had explained to us on their earlier visits that the Siddha path was one of gaining lessons, learning lessons through the many events and its related circumstances that provide a myriad of experiences and that till we learn lessons from these experiences we shall come back to relive again and again the same experiences. I have had the answer to my desired question, "So I told him I wanted to be forever in his service or Seva. I then told him if he was satisfied with the service I did to him in this birth, let it all come to an end" in the palm of my hands but never realized it till this moment where I am penning these words. Now I understand why he took off without answering then, for now, I understand that that act of serving him was completed, having gained the experience and lessons from it, we need not repeat that. We need new ventures and new experiences now. The abbot of the monastery in the movie Shaolin too tells his cook that life is all about gaining experiences. Once reluctant to leave the monastery to see the world, the cook is forced to leave, taking the young students and the villagers to safety now carried the seed across the troubled land to new frontiers.

The next time he came I was prepared, not caught off guard as the first time he posed the question as to what we wanted. I told him it was rather difficult since we sincerely do not know what to asks for fearing that the thing we ask for would be the wrong thing. I went on to asks him then to know the purpose of my taking birth and my journey. Although Agathiyar has spoken and revealed in his 5 tenets to taking a human birth at the Tamil Sangam, the purpose in all humans taking birth, I wanted to know what was my explicit reason and mission. He did not reveal it but asked me to find out for myself. He said that as we go within moving from one chakra to another, standing at the final seventh chakra it shall all dawn on us, the reason we took birth and our mission. I understood that whatever we do, prior to arriving there, is merely materialistic and of impermanence in nature. As Tavayogi told me "Only now the true journey begins!", our true mission shall then be revealed. 

CONVERSATIONS WITH AGATHIYAR 4

If Tavayogi came to know about his past, being a regular patron of the Nadi, later he knew them through his meditation. Agathiyar came to him in the form of light, and he knew many secrets that very rarely would he share, giving us the reason that we should not beat one's drum in public or speak about our achievements, which I guess eventually leads to boosting one's ego and provides an avenue to create a following.

We too learned from the Nadi revelations, having being introduced to a Nadi reader by him, where Agathiyar without fail furnished us the mysteries of life and the Siddhas. I had been blessed with 61 such readings. These days they come through others, sitting with us to share their thoughts, advice and bless us. For instance, Ramalinga Adigal came to guide us on during the recent Maha Shivaratri which we observed too. He taught us a pranayama technique and told us to keep our spine erect and helped and guided us to bring the consciousness within. Shortly after he left Agathiyar came to bless us and told us to continue the abhisegam, pranayama and asana lessons and puja that we had lined up for after 12 midnight. We can never repay the kindness of our gurus in lending us a hand when the need arises.

At https://isha.sadhguru.org/mahashivratri/significance-of-mahashivratri/ we are enlightened about the significance of Maha Shivaratri.

On this night, the northern hemisphere of the planet is positioned in such a way that there is a natural upsurge of energy in a human being. This is a day when nature is pushing one towards one’s spiritual peak. It is to make use of this, that in this tradition, we established a certain festival which is nightlong. To allow this natural upsurge of energies to find their way,one of the fundamentals of this nightlong festival is to ensure that you remain awake with your spine vertical throughout the night.

I take pride to talk about this, not with the intention to implicate we are the chosen ones but by sharing, bring others too to the fold where they can come to know about themselves, their mission, and about their souls. To those who are skeptical as to, if and how these are all possible, they would have to take the journey just as we did. Erai can only be known through experience. No amount of reading or listening shall replace the experience, though reading and listening to another's experience can bring us to want to start the journey or to know more. So when one doctor wanted to put me on the O.T and dissect my experiences, I told him not to use me as a laboratory specimen but to come to the path and follow whatever regime given to us and told to do. He can then know for himself. He never came. As Anthony Moore wrote in his blog https://medium.com/the-mission/the-truth-is-it-doesnt-matter-how-many-self-help-articles-you-read-2b7b6fac3bb1,

The truth is, it doesn’t matter: how many self-help books you read. how many TedTalks you watch. if you hire a life coach. how many online courses you buy.
The one ingredient that matters…the only factor with enough substance to actually make a lasting change…Is a firm, unbreakable decision.

He quotes - Jim Collins, from Good to Great, “Greatness is not a function of circumstance. Greatness, it turns out, is largely a matter of conscious choice.”

When Lord Muruga told me that I shall do things differently I went back to the drawing board and analyzed what were those. Today I can safely say that the differences were in the understanding and undertaking of his teachings and tasks given respectively.  

CONVERSATIONS WITH AGATHIYAR 3

If Agathiyar had me unknowingly meet my first guru Supramania Swami on the pretext of having my daughter's horoscope drawn up, he had me unknowingly stand before Thangarasan, waiting to verify a document. The name Thangarasan was mentioned to me via a leaflet given to me by Sentilkumar after he had read my Nadi for the very first time in 2002. I had kept the leaflet with me. So in 2005, when I saw adverts mentioning Thangarasan was in Malaysia to officiate an Agathiyar Peedham, I called up the number advertised to make an appointment to see him. I soon found myself standing at the door to his local affiliate in Batu Caves. He ushered me into the adjacent room and we both sat on the carpeted floor of the meditation hall. I took out the leaflet and asked him to verify if the name listed on it Thai Veedu Thangarasan MA was his. He told me it was him. He spoke about the leaflet sourcing donations towards building a temple for Agathiyar in Kallar. He went on to speak about the activities at his present ashram. As I told him Agathiyar had asks that I come to their path, before we parted, he told me that he would initiate me that evening. By evening a bond was cemented between the Guru and his disciple, with him initiating me and my wife.

As Tavayogi had invited me over to his ashram, Agathiyar worked on this invitation and expeditated my travel to India for the second time, within a month of Tavayogi returning home. I soon saw myself now standing at the door to his ashram in Kallar. He ushered me with open arms. My yearning to meet Agathiyar and know his teachings began immediately as we journeyed to the samadhis, caves, and temples acquainted with Agathiyar and the Siddhas. These included Agathiyar’s temple at the Agneepureeswarar temple in Agasthiyampalli; Karuvurar’s temple at the Breehadeshwarar temple in Tanjore; Punakeeswarar’s samadhi at Chennimalai, Kovai; Sivavakiyar’s samadhi inside the temple at Sivanmalai, Kovai; Konganar’s cave at the hills of Uthiyore in Kanganam, Kovai; Agathiyar’s cave in the hills of Courtalam; Ramalinga Adigal’s cave and Dhakshanamurthi’s cave also in the hills of Courtalam; Agathiyar’s temple at Kutraleshwarar temple in Courtalam; Agathiyar’s temple at the Agathiyar’s Fall in the Pothigai hills, and Bhogar’s samadhi at Palani. I was shown the life of a Siddha; I was taken on early morning walks; we bathe in the nearby stream that had its source in the mineral and herb-rich mountains of Ooty; I was shown how to conduct prayers to the Siddhas; I was given an opportunity to do charity and feed the poor, and was given another initiation.

The morning after my arrival, as he invited me on his morning walk, he turned to me to say that Agathiyar came the night before. I was stunned and remained quiet. He continued. Agathiyar had asked him what he was going to give me. Tavayogi in his usual manner put the question back to him. Agathiyar replied that he will let him know. The conversation ended there. 

Tavayogi did not have me sit in front of him and preach to me; rather I had to observe and learn from him. I was given an opportunity to watch how he lived. I saw the humbleness in him; the kindness in him; and the simplicity with which he lived. He was not stressed out and often asked me to remain so. He must have guessed that I freaked out under stress. He asked me to be very patient when facing difficult times and circumstances. He asked me to be very patient with people too. He reminded me to remain calm in the face of problems and danger. 

He used to sit and entertain all those who came to him. To those who came with problems he did not duel into the problems trying to find ways and suggests means to overcome it but instead asked that they pray to the Siddhas to help clear these problems. He avoided taking on the karma of people. Tavayogi was not one who easily parts with the intricate workings of the spiritual world. He preaches the basics of the Siddha path to the masses. He once told me I had to wait 12 years before he would part with this knowledge. 

When Tavayogi visited Malaysia again, he fine-tuned the ritual of lighting the sacrificial fire or homa that he had initiated I do in my home. He taught me Pranayama and Asanas, which Agathiyar tells me in the Nadi, is to be treasured, cherished and put into practice. I did as told with sincerity and discipline. My yearning to know the man and his teachings was fulfilled with the coming of Tavayogi into my life.

On my visit to Kallar again in 2013 with my family, he engaged Silambarasan, Prabakaran, and Karthick to accompany us up the Kallar hill behind his ashram. He had installed a granite statue of Agathiyar in the woods. It was the spot where Agathiyar came to him in the form of light. My question as to how Agathiyar came to him in 2005 was answered.

In recent years Agathiyar came in the form of the Jeeva Nadi and addressed those who sought to read the Nadi at Kallar ashram. These days in the absence of Tavayogi, his faithful disciple turned patron of Kallar Ashram, Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar reads it.

Agathiyar after inviting me to his path, brought two wonderful gurus into my life. Now armed with a double-barrelled gun, I took on my spiritual journey. Supramania Swami lighted the spark of devotion to the Guru or Guru Bhakti while Tavayogi brought me on a journey following the Siddha path. Agathiyar guided me by continually giving me messages through his Aasi Nadi readings whenever he had something to tell me, besides my interaction with and communication, and guidance from my two gurus. If our source of guidance was his Nadi readings and my Gurus and the Upagurus he sent, these days he comes through devotees to guide and apprehend us, if need be, directly. To each one he puts a question "What do you want?" As I am asked to sit with him to note the conversation he has with others, although I dread to invade into the privacy of others, I cannot but observe that they all ask for their immediate problems or illness to end. I realized that as Tavayogi once said, no one asks for Jnana. Everyone who came for a reading or to meet him, wanted solutions to their daily affairs that Tavayogi says can be solved with a little bit of thinking or by using their common sense or Arivu. So when it came to my turn and he asks what I wanted, I did not have anything personal to asks of him. I recalled all the blessings he has given me. And so I told him that I wished to be born again and again and serve him in all those births. He then asks me if that is what I wanted? I started to think if I had asked the right thing. He reminded me of Tavayogi. When I told Tavayogi that I had a desire to see Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal, he told me they will come easily and went on to question me if that is what I wanted? Do all these Siddhas share the same genes and DNA and come with the same script, I asked myself? I shared this message with a close buddy, over the phone, telling him that we should henceforth ask for Gnana, that which Tavayogi lamented people fail to ask. So when Agathiyar came another day, he told me that I had asked for Gnana. Now how did he know about my conversation with my buddy our the phone? He went on to explain about Gnana and the means to attain it.

Yogi Ramsuratkumar says wonderfully of the guru and his pivotal role in reversing the disciple's life.

“All your tapas and efforts would make you reach Guru’s Feet. Thereafter you need not bother about your spiritual growth. The Guru will take care of you. The Guru will see that you reach God. Even if you want to escape from the Guru, the Guru will not leave you. Like a frog in the mouth of a King Cobra, the disciple cannot escape from Guru. The only thing the disciple should do is remember the Guru and the Guru Mantra all the time. That is sufficient. Do not try to practice any method to reach God. Remember your Guru. That’s enough. Once you reach your Guru your sadhana efforts end here. Listen to your Guru and have faith in our Guru. Your Guru would take the responsibility of you and take you where you ought to reach. After reaching Guru’s feet, you need not worry about your spiritual growth. Just remember my Name. That is enough.” - Yogi

“The King Bee would bring any potential worm to its nest and would sting all the time till it becomes another King Bee. Likewise a Guru also works on his disciples till the disciples get the state of the Guru. The process is painful but there is no escape.” – Yogi

“The place where a Master dwells becomes an ashram but no ashram can produce a Master.” - Yogi

Such meaningful words. We are experiencing them day by day. Agathiyar these days is preparing us to go within. Several weeks ago we were given the Agathiyar Kuzhambu prepared by Siddha practitioner Arivan Aiya to consume that Agathiyar says helped regulate the three dosas, Vata, Kapha, and Pitta. Several days ago he places me in isolation and gets me to carry out a daily cleansing regime. He asked that I resume several of the Pranayama techniques that Tavayogi had taught me and that I had practiced earlier, which were put to rests when I succumbed to extreme lower back pain. In 2011 Agathiyar told me to stop all forms of practice, when I suffered extreme pain in my lower back for some 2 1/2 years. Agathiyar came through the Nadi and advised me on caring for my back, recommending specific herbs to be taken. When the pain recurred in 2016, Tavayogi passed me a herbal preparation to soothe the pain. When it still persists as we moved on to the following year, Dhavanthiri came through a devotee and applied the sacred ash and advised on other measures to be taken. Finally, in 2018, Lord Muruga came through a devotee and the Nadi simultaneously to heal my back for good with his peacock feathers and the chanting of the Arutperunjhoti mantra.

Starting me back on Tavayogi's pranayama and techniques to go within, he came back to check on me if I was doing it. When I told him I was finding difficulty in going in, in calming my mind, he then asks if I was taking the magic portion that cleanses the body. To that, I answered that it was a bitter pill to swallow, he strictly told me to do it, no more giving excuses. I kept quiet and am following to this day. I am now seeing its effects. I am grateful to him for being lenient in many matters and stern in others. If it will do us good, he wants it to be carried out, otherwise, he leaves us to decide or follow. If it serves humanity he puts his foot down firmly and expects us to toe the line. 

Before coming to Agathiyar, when I was engaged in ferocious devotion, doing puja at dawn and dusk and entering into discussions about all things read, the scorecard did not tally as I observed the supposedly compassionate God did not show mercy on his subjects. I was confused to the end that Lord Siva had to come in a dream and asks me to quit asking questions, or rather keep it for a later date. It was 14 years later that I resumed all the things that I had dropped following his advice. After coming to Agathiyar I had the answers. He spoke about karma. Ruzbeh N Bharucha in his blog sums it all up at https://www.speakingtree.in/blog/the-master-s-grace

Yes, the laws of karma are rigid and the cards are dealt without emotion. What one has sowed, one shall reap. The experience shall be gone through. There is no escaping this fact. And yet throughout the ages, through time, Sages, mystics, Sufis, the Holy Scriptures, all proclaim that The Master is Merciful. On one hand we have the unyielding laws of cause and effect. On the other hand we have the mercy and tenderness of The Master.

When I put forward my wish to him that he should take care of the prapanjam or matrix and all live on it, Agathiyar told us that all of prapanjam or the matrix moves accordingly to karma and the effort placed to battle it. Likewise, everything is in a fluid state, that continually deforms (flows) under applied shear stress or external force, flowing along well until it faces an obstruction when it finds another path. If we can adapt the properties of fluids such as not resisting permanent deformation, resisting only relative rates of deformation in a dissipative, frictional manner, and the ability to flow (also described as the ability to take on the shape of the container)1 all shall be well. Nature teaches us well if only we take some time to observe it. But humans tend to resist everything. So a concerted effort is needed to undo his doings. As Lao Tzu says "Go with the flow" I have to keep reminding myself to refrain from resisting too. God help me.

1. Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fluid

CONVERSATIONS WITH AGATHIYAR 2

Completing what was directed in the Nadi by Agathiyar, I returned home overflowing with bliss that followed me for several months until the daily routine of work and life began to overshadow and drive the bliss within. But how could going on a pilgrimage, praying and worshiping specific Gods and Goddesses, donating towards the priestly class and feeding the hungry, the poor and the animals help in reversing our karma, I asked myself? Even if I did not have the answers then, I had carried out all that was told to me in the Nadi. But there was no way to confirm if what I did satisfied Agathiyar then or if I had done them properly as ordained. Since he told me to come back for reading some three years later after my first reading, I left if as it is.

Meanwhile, I continued worship to the Siddhas and reading up about them. I established correspondence by snail mail and communicated through STD calls with Supramania Swami. He had cherished a 40-year wish. He wanted to build a temple. When my nephew paid a visit to him on my requests, Swami had mentioned that he wanted to build a temple for Lord Murugan in his village Nachaananthal. Later during my correspondence through letters with Swami, he told me he wanted to build the temple in Tiruvannamalai instead. Giving the green light to go ahead, Swami scouted for a piece of land near his guru Yogi Ramsuratkumar’s Ashram while I gathered the funds required for the purchase of the land and the costs of construction of the temple.

Swami was delirious when he announced to me over the phone that the land was purchased and that work on the temple could start soon. Swami together with his family used to monitor the ground works by day and return to the village at night. Then I suggested that Swami build accommodation for himself and move into it while working on the temple. Therefore, Swami put up a 11 feet by 30 feet kudil on the piece of land while work was going on. One day, when Swami was alone in his kudil, a stranger appeared at the cross road in front of Swami’s kudil and called him over. He asked Swami why he (Swami) who was on the path of Wisdom (Gnana) was now stepping back onto the path of Devotion (Bakti). His question made Swami realize that this was no ordinary man. Swami realized there was a message conveyed to him and immediately decided to stop further construction of the temple.

Supramania Swami had one work to his credit which he passed on to me and I had published online. It is available at https://drive.google.com/file/d/1CVfxHLPiZmBCiV66B0Z2FLnvrIMQu9qc/view?usp=sharing

Besides the 5 divine hours, I spent with him on first meeting him in 2003, I only saw him again in 2005. But we used to communicate through the post and STD calls until these calls became more regular when I bought him a cell phone. Swami would ask me if I was doing tavam and meditating. As I was slow to reply since I could not bring myself to meditate however much I tried, he told me to do it. Supramania Swami told me my tavam would raise him to a higher state. He also told me that he would come through the light of the lamp that we lit at home. I could not comprehend his words then. Today I understand to a certain extent the significance of rituals, worship and lighting the lamp.

From the revelations in the late Hanumathdasan Aiya's Nadi readings as revealed by Agathiyar we understand that the Siddhas till this day conduct libation or abhisegam to Lord Shiva with 16 items of libation. Just as the hierarchy in the Indian pantheon of Gods and Goddesses is known to worship someone higher than them, Supramania Swami had told me my tavam would raise him to a higher state. Similarly Supramania Swami sat looking at the abhisegam performed to the Shivalinga that graced the samadhi of his guru Yogi Ramsuratkumar, when I accompanied him in 2005. What was he watching? Was he watching his guru being bathe in the holy ceremony that was done on Pradosham that day? Hence I understood the reason for Agathiyar to come in the form of a statue and have us conduct it too.

Agathiyar told me that they listened to our plea and performed a Yagam so that Tavayogi shall live. They lit the sacrificial fire or Yagam when we pleaded to Agathiyar to save Tavayogi who was taken ill. Returning to his ashram and having settled all outstanding matters, including passing on the skill and divine knowledge of reading the Jeeva Nadi to Mataji, Tavayogi was ready and willing to leave his mortal form this time. When he was readmitted to the hospital, he called me to say that in the event he did not return to the ashram, Mataji shall manage the institution. I remained silent, stunned by his words. Noticing the prolonged silence Tavayogi bid farewell and hung up. We too did not want to stop or interfere with his soul's wish this time. He soon passed away.

Tavayogi started conducting the Yagam on full moon days in his ashram. Soon he celebrated the Annual Festival or Vizha that soon switched to in celebration of Agathiyar's Jayanthi and Guru Puja. Initially, he used to invite the public and devotees to sit and light their own fire bringing the total of Yagam pits to 108. As it was an extensive and costly affair and due to constraints in manpower to prepare the site and Yaga Kundam, prepare the wood and herbs that went into the sacrificial fire,  to monitor, guide and advise the devotees it was dropped and a single large Yagam maintained throughout the later years. When he initiated the Yagam at his ashram grounds, he told me to carry out a similar fest simultaneously. I did light a homam, a smaller version of the Yagam and conducted the festivities on a smaller scale. This is kept alive till this day at both venues. The reason he started to conduct Yagams was to smoother the wreath of Mother Nature who came down on us hard in 2004 in the form of the mighty waves Tsunami and the unpredictable weather that played havoc in many countries. Agathiyar then told me that the Homam I did was not for my individual personal benefit but for the good of the prapanjam or matrix.

What was the significance of lighting a lamp? All temples are lit the traditional way, at least the inner chambers or sanctum, although we have electricity today in most areas. The lamp and its ensuing flame play a major role in all our rituals too. The Yagam or its smaller version, the Homam and the very basic ritual of lighting camphor tablets ignite flames and emit light. It is said that the deities receive our offerings through this fire. The fire consumes the body at the funeral pyre too. And fire is used to cook food and keep wild animals away too.

When a cousin of my colleague went to pee after drowning a few glasses of liquor, he brought back someone from the other world. As the others made a dash for it, leaving my friend alone, the one in him now directed my friend to bring him to a temple some distance away. He directed my friend all the way, continuously pointing towards the temple and to the light that was supposedly lit in the temple. Driving him along, my friend had to remind him that the road has bends, corners, and junctions and they could not possibly run through all those and head straight for the light in a straight line. Once at the temple he asked to light the camphor and told my friend that he was entering the flame. Only after he left his cousin came back to his senses.

We are told to light an Aganda Deepam, a larger than usual lamp and flame these days. Tavayogi told me Agathiyar came to him in the form of light. Ramalinga Adigal brought his devotees to worship Erai in the form of light that he named Arutperunjhoti, leaving behind the worship of Erai with forms.

What did Supramania Swami imply by telling me that he would come through the light of the lamp that we lit at home? How could he travel from Tiruvannamalai and watch us through the light of the lit lamp? To understand what he meant we have to go back to his life story and his endeavors and austerities he performed.

Supramania Swami was born on 17 July 1943 on Kritigai Natchathiram, a Monday in the Tirutani Murugan temple grounds. His mother was taking a kavadi when she had labor pains and delivered Supramanian. She was blessed with a child in God's home ground.

Supramanian’s grandfather Thuraisamy Pillai, an accountant (Kanaku Pillai) at Tiruvannamalai Arunachaleswarer temple, was a Vaisnavite from Aadi Peedham, Ladavaram near Tiruvannamalai. Supramanian’s father Jayaram Pillai was teaching in Reddi Kuppam, Anaikoyil. His uncles were teachers too.

Supramanian’s father who worshipped Lord Vengadasalapathy gave him an initiation or teecha on Lord Murugan. Supramanian used to follow his father to the woods to chop down the kalli trees. That is when the sap of the tree blinded him. A partially blind Supramanian made his way to Madras (Chennai) hoping to receive treatment at the government hospital. A police officer realizing that Swami was blind and seeing him struggle alone on the streets of Madras called for an ambulance that took him to the hospital. There the local Indian doctors certified that he had to be operated on to remove his eyes. There was no other way to it; any delay would otherwise lead to the poison eventually reaching his brain. One of the doctors, however, sent for an American doctor to get a second opinion. The American doctor said he could save Supramanian’s eyesight and he subsequently performed six operations on Supramanian. The politician MU Karunanidhi who was undergoing treatment for his illness at the hospital took up the cost of operating on Supramanian.

Later Supramanian moved to Thiruchendur where he made a livelihood selling flowers and garlands to support his mother and himself. He used to pull the temple chariot for seven consecutive years wearing sandals with nails on them. He put on the garb resembling Lord Murugan and took part in plays or dramas held at the temple grounds on festival days. After Supramanian was married at the age of 31, he started performing miracles or siddhis. As Ramana Maharishi says, “Just as a man who is drunk is not conscious whether his upper cloth is on his body or has slipped away from it, the jnani is hardly conscious of his body, and it makes no difference to him whether the body remains or has dropped off”, Supramanian too attired in only a banana tree bark, and in a similar state of mind, went about performing miracles and curing folks.  He would grab a handful of sand, which turned to sacred ash (Vibhuti), Kumkum, or Panjamirtham accordingly. This he gave to people, who were then cured of their ailments. It was during this period that he indicated to the locals to the site of a vel that was buried by a Siddha in the hills of Tiruvanamalai. He spent seventeen years atop Tiruvanamalai hill. Supramanian had no memory of what transpired during that period. He only heard about his antics after miraculously gaining his memory back through consuming food prepared by a mysterious woman stranger. Although he became a normal person after consuming the miracle food, his ability or sidhi of changing sand and earth to vibhuti prasadham continued for some time and stopped on its own after he had his second daughter.

Supramania Swami made his guru Yogi Ramsuratkumar appear from his samadhi when we were chanting the Yogi's name. As we were alone in his kudil that evening of 2005, Swami invited me to prayers and picked up his rosary beads and began chanting the Yogi's name. As it was a simple chant I joined in too. Soon I heard a third voice join us in the chant. I wanted to ask Swami upon completion of the chant but forgot entirely. When I returned to his kudil several days later, after spending some time with Tavayogi at his ashram in Kallar, Swami asks me if I heard the voice? Only then did I recall the event. Swami coolly told me it was his guru who had joined us.

I remember vividly the last conversation I had with Supramania Swami over the phone before his samadhi. I could not get through to Supramania Swami for some time. That evening there was someone trying to call me on my phone numerous times. However, each time I answered the line went dead or disengaged. I then thought if it could be Swami trying to get through to me. When I called his phone, he answered. Finally, I managed to get in touch with him after a long absence. “I have not forgotten you,” he said. “How can I forget you; you have given me a place to stay, referring to the kudil that we had collectively built for him. He blessed me. Then he said, “I am seeing the Jhoti. At times, it stays on for half an hour. My time is nearing. Ask Ramesh (referring to the Nadi Guru I used to frequent) to see when my day will come so that I can send you word and you can be present.” I cried like a child.

He told me he wanted to start a fast of silence (Mauna Virutham) and would survive only on fruits and milk beginning on 31 January 2007 for a forty-eight day period. The day he chose to start the fast would be the eve of the day that Ramalinga Adigal became one with the light Arutperunjhoti.

I called Swami's number on 3 February 2007. Surprisingly Swami answered his phone. When I apologized for calling him and making him break his fast, he replied, “No harm done. I shall talk to you.” He told me he had started the fast on wheat porridge, chapatti, and milk since the last full moon day, 1 February 2007 and would end his fast on Pangguni Utiram day – a fast that would now last 60 days. He did not speak to anyone, only writing out on paper if required. But he made an exception for me. I realize now as I pen these words that that is the grace of the guru. He told me I am letting loose of my senses. He asks me to meditate and be focused. He asks that I gather some funds so that he could feed a thousand devotees when his fast ends on 1 April 2007. But he chose to leave earlier.

Supramania Swami went into samadhi at 10.20 am, on Wednesday, 7 February 2007, four days after I spoke to him, at his kudil in Tiruvannamalai. He was 65. When I was with him in 2005, he mentioned that his lifespan was only 65. Ramajayam tells me he found Swami’s diary after his samadhi. Strangely, Swami had written the exact date and time of his departure. This entry was dated 23 May 2005. He had also written down on how to attend to his body once he passes away. Although he did not have a following, mysteriously a Swamiji to whom Ramajayam served as a driver then in Tiruvannamalai sent twenty of his followers or sadhus from his movement to take care of Swami’s last rites. Supramania Swami was laid to rest the same day within eight hours of his passing away as requested by him (Swami). When I was with him in 2005, he had indicated the spot where he was to be buried at his kudil to me. That was his wish. I was saddened that he was laid to rest elsewhere. But it happens to be that although he had mentioned that he was to be laid to rest at the kudil, the Lord and his messengers decided to provide a better place of rest for their deserving disciple. Agathiyar, on 10 February 2007, told me in my Nadi reading that Swami had gone into Samadhi at the right moment; he had been laid at the right spot and that his samadhi shall gain fame.

On 24 July 2007, Agathiyar again mentions Supramania Swami telling me that he was the first guru I went searching for and that he was a true guru. Agathiyar asked that I chant Swami’s name and miracles shall take place in my home. Just as his guru Yogi Ramsuratkumar appeared and chanted with us after going into samadhi, Supramania Swami too indicated his presence at my home after going into samadhi. This miracle took place at my home, just as Agathiyar had said. Although we could not see him, the signs that Supramania Swami appeared in my home were there. The day was 17 September 2007. It had been some time now that Supramania Swami went into samadhi. We had just completed our daily prayers for the evening. The smell of jasmine, sandalwood or sandanam, sacred ash or vibhuti, frankincense and other fragrances always lingers in my home during prayers. As I sat with my wife in the living room of our home that day after prayer, there was a distinct smell of tobacco in the room this time. The thought of Supramania Swami immediately came to my mind. Was Swami at my home in Malaysia?

Almost immediately, my handphone rang but stopped immediately. On picking up the phone there was a miss call from an earlier number that belonged to Supramania Swami! I knew that number was no more in use. Swami had taken up another number that was now used by his son after Swami’s samadhi. Nevertheless, I called the number a few days later. A man answered. He asked me who I was and to whom I wanted to talk to. I introduced myself and I asked if he had called me a couple of days before. However, he answered that he had not made any calls to Malaysia. Then I asked if Supramania Swami was around. He answered that he did not know of any Supramania Swami. I enquired about his location. He mentions it was Coimbatore. Then I ask if Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal was there. The reply was no and he did not know Tavayogi either.

Several days later, I called my nephew and explained what had transpired. Upon ending my call, I realized there was a miss call while I was on the phone with him. Again to my amazement, the same number appeared. I called Swami’s son, Ramajayam. He confirmed that the number his father used had been terminated. Later Agathiyar reveals in the Nadi that the miracle did take place indeed. Supramania Swami had come that day!

I have come to realize that God works in mysterious ways to fulfill his agenda. I am grateful to him for showing me Supramania Swami. I am forever grateful and indebted to Supramania Swami who opened my eyes to devotion (Bakti) towards God and Guru by his exemplary lifestyle.