TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THE TRANSFORMATION

Is the Annamaya kosa related to the earth element? Certainly, it derives its existence and sustenance from the food we take from the earth. Is the Manomaya kosa of the water element as it is continually flowing as do our thoughts? Is the Pranayama kosa of the air element giving life to an otherwise corpse? Is the Vignanamaya kosa an element of fire as it gives us the wisdom and arivu to negate and burn the impurities that our thoughts carry? Finally is the Anandhamaya kosa the element of sky or Prapanjam that is forever in a state of bliss?

Could we be in the Annamaya kosa savoring the food we take in? Could we be in Manomaya kosa thinking of solutions? Could we have touched the Pranamaya kosa when the breath traverses within chilling the very core and bringing untold joy within? Could it be that we experience the Vignanamaya kosa as the words of wisdom come within as in torrential rain? Could one be experiencing the Anandamaya kosa when bliss traverses within in singing the praise of the Lord? Are we already experiencing each kosa in our daily lives? 

Are we continually strengthening each sheath by getting addicted to our habits as in the lower kosas or enhancing the higher kosas with practice and tapas? Does this make the sheath grosser in nature in the latter? Are we to transform these kosas that are gross in nature, made of the 5 primary elements respectively, to a purer state? Are we supposed to reverse its nature bringing it to a finer and purer state? Is this what the saints did?

Man has looked up towards the skies for ages forgetting that he is divine in nature. He only needs to come to this realization and work on reversing his current state of affairs to be accepted into their fold i.e tune to the nature of the divine. The guru comes to tune us as the technician precisely tunes the strings in the piano that is out of tune. Similarly, time and again Agathiyar tells us that our 3 dosas are out of tune too ie are not in the proportion they are meant to be to maintain good health. Once this proportion goes haywire due to our carelessness or overindulgence in a particular food etc, our health deteriorates and we invite illness. Agathiyar says that even the 5 elements taken from both parents in a specified ratio if they do not conform to it lead to deformities in the newborn. The arrogant man who thinks he is in charge of his life surely is at the mercy of the divine in this area.

Ramalinga Adigal was the latest sage to bring on a complete transformation of his Self into a divine being where the divine came to tune him into a vessel for Arutperunjothi Aandavar to walk the earth. Swami Saravanananda in his "Blissful Life of God-Man", excerpts of which are posted at https://www.vallalarspace.com/Saravanaananda/Articles/85 says,

God Supreme of infinite Grace is ever One and one only, And He alone is working through all souls in all places at all times. So, He exposed from within the soul of Ramalinga Swamigal,.. 

From the above, we understand that the guru or divine only brings out the already inherent buddha or divinity in us by removing the veils. This was conveyed by Agathiyar too in his short memo to us recently. 

ஆன்மா உடலையும் உயிரையும் தனது கட்டுப்பாட்டுக்குள் வைத்துக் கொள்ளும் ஒரு சூச்சமம். இந்தச் சூச்சமத்தை பிறந்த குழந்தைகள் 1  முதல் 5 வராகை வரையிலும் உடன் இருந்து மறையும். மறைத்தலின் காரணம் இன்னதென்று இப்போது உனக்குச் சொல்ல இயலாது. ஆனபோதிலும் ஆன்ம ஒருவரின் செயலைப் பொறுத்தே மீண்டும் அவனை வந்து சேரும். ஆன்மா உன்னோடு இருந்து உன்னை ஒரு பாதைக்கு இழுத்து செல்லும் அப்போது நீ அதனை உணர்ந்தாள், உன்னில் அதிர்வாய் தோன்றி மறையும். அந்த அதிர்வினை நீ உனக்குள் நீடிக்கப் பழகினால் உன்னால் ஆன்மா என்னும் உனது அதிர்வுகளில் ஊடுருவி என்னுள் (இறை / அகத்தியன்) வந்து சேர ஒரு வழி. 

Swami Saravanananda says,

But because of our unripeness and worldly attachments, we are not turning inwardly to make our life anew. Most of the people are all running after sensuous life of deluded enjoyments and pleasures.

Indeed the pull of all sensuous things is so great that it is a battle to detach from its grasp. But the truth is that we are rather helpless because we have dormant vasanas that have not been exhausted and that we carried on into this life. These vasanas are our previous desires that did not see the light of the day then and we had carried into this birth. The world to us now appears as an attractive bed to sow the seeds and fulfill our desires. If until now I was trying to bring many to the path, it ended in frustration. Tavayogi finally tells me to "Let it be." They shall need to live out their karma or the baggage of all desires they carry with them. If we were to disturb the cause of the divine and natural law, they would have to come again to exhaust these desires. Osho says it beautifully when he asks us to exhaust all our desires. 

Swami Saravananda writes, "In our life from the sensuous plane, we were unable to get a true Blissful life of permanency. Such a permanent Divine Blessed life is to be lived from the Soul abode only." It is very timely that Agathiyar wants us to know about the soul or Atma now. Each time Agathiyar comes he says that he only sees our Atma and addresses it. But while he talks about Gnana and Atma Vidutalai or the release of the Soul, we come to him for petty things in life. But the most compassionate father comes down t our level to give solutions too.

In his piece posted at https://arutperunjothiagaval.blogspot.com/2008/02/introduction-to-arutperunjothi-agaval.html, Swami Saravananda writes, 

"His (Man's) intellectual faculty constitutes the middle plane from where he can either look down at the material/physical world or look up in wonderment at the spiritual plane. When he looks up, he comprehends, though partially, truths about spirit, soul, and God." 

If according to  Swami Saravananda the "intellectual faculty constitutes the middle plane from where he can either look down at the material/physical world or look up in wonderment at the spiritual plane" then it is apt that the Vignanamaya kosa that gives us the arivu or wisdom to differentiate, shall guide our thoughts that keep arising continuously towards higher thoughts and regions finally bringing us to the plane of bliss or the Anandamaya kosa. 

ARUTPERUNJOTHI 2

What is with this mantra Arutperunjothi that we are asked to chant it ever so often? What is the "Agaval" that Ramalinga Adigal composed that spans some 1596 lines? We come to understand that the saint documented his spiritual journey in these songs that came to be compiled as the "TiruArutpa" and in other writings of his too. 

Swami Saravanananda has given a  beautiful  English rendering of the original in Tamil of Ramalinga  Adigal's "Arutperunjhoti  Agaval", published by the  Ramalinga  Mission, Madras. He reveals the inner meaning of the Arutpa. (All definitions of words are from Oxford Languages)

1‐12,  Deals with the attributes of the effulgence (jothi).  

13‐26,  Deals with the various boons conferred on  Ramalingam:  

• zeal or great energy or enthusiasm in pursuit of a cause or an objective,
• discernment or the ability to judge well,
• radiant body,  
• prosperity,
• liberated from countless births,
• freed from religious bigotry,
• removed doubt and misconception,
• freed from the clutches of religious scriptures, and
• made him pure.  

27‐56,  Deals with the various voids or spaces or spiritual planes which a soul has to pass through before attaining godhead.  

57‐110,  He brings the truth that the various voids are not external to our being and can be realized within ourselves. I guess this is what he sings about in his song "ஆணிப்பொன்னம்பலக் காட்சி" too.

111‐336,  Deals with the attributes of the effulgence  (jothi) that abides in the inmost void. Whenever he comes and initiates us, something happens within that is beyond our senses and control. It seems like he is working on another sheath of our body. For our thoughts go on, we are witness to everything external, but something else is moving within too that is initiated by them. Could he be working on the Anandamaya Kosa?

337‐366,  Praises to the effulgence  (jothi)  as the source of all elements.  Ramalingam now a  primordial being is provided with penetrating radiant vision to pry into the secrets and mysteries of nature.  Thus equipped he beholds the evolution of the universe in all its aspects all of which are recorded in these verses.  

337‐402,  Deals with the various aspects of the nature of the earth.  

403‐430,  Deals with the various aspects of the nature of the water.  

431‐460,  Deals with the various aspects of the nature of the fire. 

461‐492,  Deals with the various aspects of the nature of the air. 

493‐512,  Deals with the various aspects of the nature of space.  

513‐544,  Deals with the process of the creation of the human body,  the acme of the entire evolutionary process.  Ramalingam describes how each and every organ and its system is evolved and placed in the human frame;  provides a step-by-step process of the evolution of the human body.  

545‐554,  Deals with how space yields the other elements.  

555‐580,  Deals with the various partial spaces or voids.  

581‐620,  Deals with the various forces that activate the universe and the human body.  

621‐628,  Deals with creation from the One.  

629‐646,  Deals with the seed.  

647‐682,  Deals with the dual or polar nature of manifestation.  

683‐690,  Deals with the tattvas and the primordial elements.  

691‐702,  Deals with the modes of the birth of organisms.  

703‐716,  Deals with the male and female characteristics of the human being.  

717‐782,  Deals with the protection and sustenance of organisms. 

783‐812,  Deals with the repression and control of all impure tendencies by the effulgence.  

813‐832,  Deals with the various kinds of curtains or veils that surround the soul and prevent it from having a clear vision of the great effulgence. With the removal of the last screen, the self stands face to face with the resplendence merging in the effulgence to become part and parcel of it and perform all the functions of the effulgence to make other-selves realize the same level.  

833‐852,  Deals with the removal of the screens one after another as and when the entity rises up from one plane of consciousness to the next higher plane. By thus removing the veils the effulgence enlightens the beings of human and celestial origin and also deities high above the celestial origin.  

853‐874,  Narrates how the effulgence pervades through all the functions of the dynamic powers.  

875‐880,  Deals with the uniqueness of the supreme beings.  

881‐920,  Deals with the omnipresent aspect of the effulgence.  

921‐930,  Deals with the cosmic self which manifests everywhere.  

931‐940,  Deals further with the attributes of the effulgence.  

941‐976,  Deals further with the cosmic self.  

977‐1018,  Deals with the manifold manifestations and activities of compassion. 

1019‐1038,  Deals with the boons that are bestowed on Ramalingam.  

1039‐1070, The narration of how the effulgence as the guru has taught Ramalingam all the knowledge and wisdom.  

1071‐1114,  Deals with the motherly aspect of the effulgence.  

1115‐1164,  Deals with the paternal aspect of the effulgence.  

1165‐1176,  Deals with the attributes of the companionship of the effulgence.  

1177‐1192,  Deals with the friendly attitude of the effulgence.  

1193‐1200,  Deals with the attributes of the kinship of the effulgence.  

1201‐1213,  Deals with the eternal (sat) aspect of the effulgence.  

1214‐1238,  Deals with the knowledge (chit) aspect of the effulgence. 

1239‐1254,  Deals with the blissful (ananda) aspect of the effulgence.  

1255‐1290,  Deals with the attributes of the effulgence further.  

1291‐1310,  Deals with the wish-fulfilling attribute of the effulgence.  This I am beginning to see in simple things in life that he brings to fulfill the moment the thought arises, as in my wish to go to Kallar, See my mother, and even a tiny wish to anoint the chandana on my forehead.

1311‐1320, Deals with the gem,  the mantra, and the medicine which confers everlasting siddhis.  

1321‐1336,  Deals with the ambrosial effect of the effulgence.  

1337‐1366,  Deals with the sterling qualities of the effulgence.  

1367‐1380,  Deals with the munificence of the effulgence.  

1381‐1386,  Deals with the effulgence of a mountain with divine attributes. 

1387‐1448,  Deals  with  the  effulgence  of  the  sea  and  its  shores  with  divine attributes.  

1449‐1494,  Deals with the changes that take place when the divine descends  on the  human frame. This is the most esoteric and sublimest part of this work.  

1495‐1510,  Deals  with  the  intense  love  that  transmutes  itself  into  light  becoming  the guiding factor of all souls.  

1511‐1518,  The light is compared to that of the full moon.  

1519‐1528,  Deals with the effulgence of rain that removes all dross  from the heart  and mind.  

1529‐1538, Deals  with  the  effulgence  of  the  sun  that  removes  the  darkness  of  ignorance.  

1539‐1548,  Deals with the brilliance of the effulgence of the sun.  

1549‐1554,  Deals with the glow of the flame of the effulgence.  

1555‐1596,  Sums  up  all  the  boons  that  Ramalingam  received  through  the  grace  of  the effulgence. Ramalingam offers his thanks. 

ARUTPERUNJOTHI 1

Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar said that when everyone else celebrates the Jayanthi of their respective gurus, Tavayogi decided to celebrate the Jayanthi of Agathiyar. If he had wanted he could have celebrated Chitramuthu Adigal's Jayanthi. But right from the beginning, he had shown us to Agathiyar as the Moolam or source and stood backstage. Yesterday many temples associated with Agathiyar conducted his Guru Puja including Kallar Ashram. We at AVM too, like others who followed suit, had carried the puja to coincide with the timing at Kallar for many years after Tavayogi initiated me to do so until Agathiyar revealed the exact time of his birth in my Nadi reading. Henceforth we began our puja at this time. Then he came to switch the date for us to coincide with Thaipusam beginning from 2017. 

As I was in my daughter's home, Mahin invited me to go over to AVM and do a puja in conjunction with his Jayanthi. We lit the homam, and did abhisegam to Agathiyar's statue. While Mahin was dressing him up, I for no particular reason picked up Ramalinga Adigal's "Agaval" and begin to recite it knowing pretty well that the 1596 verses would take some 2 hours to recite. I could only recite until verse 305 "நாயினுங் கடையே னீயினு மிழிந்தேன் ஆயினு மருளிய வருட்பெருஞ் ஜோதி", when strong emotions came over me and I began to sob. I struggled to continue further but could not go beyond verse 336. I have been reading the Agaval solo and with my family numerous times but never could comprehend it. It was a mere song but a melodious one to me back then. But yesterday was different for I could feel the words reverb in me having me recall similar experiences. I stopped singing. But to my amazement, Ramalinga Adigal picked up from where I stopped, through another devotee present. But the words were not that from the original "Arutpa" but were coined in real-time. As he took us by surprise, we could only record the later path of his song. Usually, we understand what is said then but fail to recall their words exactly later. 

என்னுள்ளீல் நீ உன்னுள்ளில் நான் அதுவே அருட்பெருஞ்சோதி,
.. போகமும் யோகமும் அருட்பெருஞ்சோதி,
… நீ கடந்து அறிவே நீ அறியும் அருட்பெருஞ்சோதி,
எல்லாம் செய் சித்தம் சிவனடி சேரும் அதுவே அருட்பெருஞ்சோதி,
ஆண்மையும் பெண்மையும் கலந்தன இறுதியில் வெளிப்படும் வெளிச்சமே அருட்பெருஞ்சோதி,
இவை எல்லாம் தாண்டிக் கடந்தபின் காண்பது அதுவே அருட்பெருஞ்சோதி,
இளமையில் நீ செய்யும் யோகங்கள் யாவும் முதுமையில் சேர்ந்திடும் அருட்பெருஞ்சோதி,
ஜோதியுள் ஜோதி அருட்பெருஞ்சோதி,

குளிர்ந்தது ஜோதி.

வெப்பமும் ஜோதி, நீயும் ஜோதி, நானும் ஜோதி, பிரபஞ்சம் முழுதும் ஜோதி, மின்மினி போல் மின்னும் ஜோதி, பரத்தில் இருக்கும் அருட்பெருஞ்சோதி, இப்பரதேசியில் காண்பதும் ஜோதி.

Previously on 14.3.2020 when Ramalinga Adigal came he coined a song for us that I had shared then. It goes as follows,

என் பெருமானே என்னுள் வந்து அருளிய ஜோதி அது...

என் பெருமான் அருளிய ஜோதி அது....

திரை எனும் திரை எனும் என் பெருமான் காட்டிய திரை அது....

என் அருள் அப்பன் அருள் ஜோதி அது...

சீர்ஜோதி அது 

பெருஞ் ஜோதி அது... 

ஏறும் பெரும் ஜோதி அது.

என்னுள் அது ஏறும்போது திரை அது விலகியது...

என்னுள் அது ஏறும் நிலையில் ஜோதி அது ஜோதி அது...

திரை எனும் திரை அது அருட்பெருஞ்ஜோதி அது...

He went on to show us the way to bring the effulgence within and keep it burning.

திரை விலக உங்களில் இருக்கும் ஜோதி அதனைச் சுடர்விட செய்யுங்கள். என் அப்பன் அகத்தியன் உங்களுக்குள் வந்து அத்திரையை விலக்கிவிடுவார். அதுவே இப்பாடலின் பொருள். என் அப்பன் அகத்தியன் உங்களுக்குள் இருந்து வழி நடத்தி வருகிறார். அவன் வழியிலே நடந்து வாருங்கள். அத்திரை விலக்குவதற்க்கு அவன் அருள் புரிவான்.

அருட்ஜோதி உங்களை ஆசீர்வதித்தது. அருட்பெருஞ்சோதி ஆண்டவர் உங்களை ஆசீர்வதித்தார். செல்லும் வழி சரி. அகத்தியன் அருட்ஜோதியை நோக்கி அழைத்துச் செல்வான்.

Previously when Tavayogi came he too asked us to chant the Arutperunjothi mantra as he initiated his children.

WATCHING THE YEARS ROLL BY

All the books and reading do not replace the guru. This blog too does not replace a living guru. All these are guides to begin for a start. I too went through these phases putting in much effort learning from books in the past but realized that one needs to come under the direct supervision of a guru after some time. I was blessed to have two gurus. Coming to the guru he shall perfect and finetune the methods and practice so that we see results. Above and beyond this, the guru shall show the way to remove one's karma that stands in the way between our practice and its benefits. I did not know that my karma stood in my way till Agathiyar revealed it in my first Nadi reading. Similarly, I did not know I had earned the curses of elders in my past life until Agathiyar told me in the same Nadi reading. He gave me remedies to be carried out to counter them. Similarly, the initiation into a mantra and the touch of the guru shall remove the unseen and unknown "blockages" within us so that we shall reap the full benefit of our practice. I did not know that I had blockages until I was passed the Vasudeva mantra mysteriously that I came to know later clears these blockages. Just as my first guru Supramania Swami told me that our efforts shall not go to waste, the Siddhas came to aid me to remove all the obstacles so that I could enjoy the fruits of my efforts.

I was introduced to a list of names of the Siddhas recited by Nadi Nool Aasan Senthilkumar during a Siddha puja he conducted for me after he read my Kaanda Nadi for the very first time back then in 2002. I then began to explore the names listed in the small booklet he passed me for keeps after he had recited from it. It was published by Agathiyar Gnana Peedham Kallar. I never knew then that I would later come to take its patron Thaaiveedu Thangarasan as my guru. I wanted to know who these Siddhas were and if that list was final. I came across many other editions carrying many more names. One had as many as 700 plus names that also included nature, the planets and the stars, the numerous deities, etc. I recited them all. Not satisfied with just reciting the names of the Siddhas, I included more songs of praise to them that I came across in books and the net. And so I came to compile a compendium of songs in praise of the Siddhas that I used in my home puja. Later this compilation made its way into the homes of other seekers as they brought it back home. Songs from this book of prayers were also sung before Agathiyar in temples.  

There was a time when we sat for some 2 hours doing an elaborate puja for the Siddhas at my home that consisted of three portions namely the lighting of the sacrificial fire, the libation of Agathiyar's statue and finally singing the songs of praise and chanting the mantras. Then the rituals were reduced to some 45 minutes, with the first 15 minutes lighting the Homam or lighting the fire pit, the second 15 minutes in conducting the abhisegam or bathing his statue, and lastly adorning him. As his energy mounted in his statue, in my home and in us the singing came to a halt.  The chanting of mantras too came to a stop on its own. We could not go on even if we wanted. We just wanted to sit quietly. We were surprised at the changes that took place in our model and approach to puja. Puja that took hours came to be concluded within minutes. The external verbalization of mantras dropped but went on within on its own. The singing of the praise of Siddhas dropped on its own accord as we were drawn to sit in silence. From not knowing anything about the worship of the Siddhas, we came to know about it and put it into practice. Then that practice too was dropped. Similarly when Tavayogi came by and taught us asanas and pranayama we learned and picked it up. This too was dropped only to retain a number of it. So was it with charity. We went all the way out to serve the needy for several years before we were asked to drop it too. After gaining the knowledge, benefits and experience, or in other words, having taken the gist or substance of it we were told to drop the action.

Mahindren observed a pattern here that I missed seeing. Just as in our search for materialistic gains we collect trophies and awards, certificates and appraisals, etc the service-orientated activities and religious and spiritual practice we engaged in brought us much recognition and praise. Then Agathiyar commanded that I pull the shutters down on Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) and drop my association with its many associated groups. I was asked to stay away from the charity programs, drop the puja, rituals, chanting and singing, and drop the yoga practice too as if condoning all the earlier changes that took place. He officially brought the shutters down on everything. In asking to drop everything we did and go within instead I saw no spectacular nor noticeable changes in me the past two years of doing so. I thought I had failed and wasted the time. But Agathiyar echoing Supramania Swami's words that our efforts do not go to waste, says it was not wasted. Mahin made me realize later that the whole idea was to drop everything, which I had unknowingly done, and remain empty and void. How foolish was I to think of collecting tokens and merits. He knocked sense in me.

During the years spearheading the AVM group, I saw people from all walks of life or rather who had various notions of the Siddhas come by. Beginning from 2002, making headway in the worship and praise of the Siddhas with the coming of Agathiyar as a statue in 2010, and when AVM was at its peak in the year 2013, many were shown to AVM. If many held to him equally otherd seem to be mere spectators to rituals and practices as we see in the temples. It was a time of fair and gala where many as in amusement parks or in gardens spend their time in recreation, gathered to feast their eyes on Agathiyar. We conducted the fest for Agathiyar in a big way too. 

I could not fail but notice that some husbands stayed in their cars while their wives joined the prayers. Some dropped off their families to pick them up later. In the initial years of my coming to the worship of the Siddhas, I left my family out. I would lock myself in the prayer room. Then Tavayogi told me to bring the family too to the worship. Somehow the womenfolk are more inclined towards devotion than men but why are there more men saints than women then? It is because the women though much religious and spiritual can only spend a moment towards devotion as they need to run the household. In some cultures, they even tend to the cattle and horse and do the manual work that men do. Agathiyar says that tending to the needs of the family is sufficient for women to gain the merits that come with tapas. 

My expectation that those who gathered pick up the practice and carry them out in their homes and with their families did not entirely materialize. Today I understand that their homes might not be conducive to hosting such pujas if others in the family were not receptive to it. Hence they might have sought venues available for the worship of the Siddhas. I guess some have to see the sufferings of others to break their heart, or melt their hearts. So did Agathiyar bring us to do service. But only some came by. I was sad that while some chose to stay away, others left for greener pastures. I understand today from Tavayogi that one has to live out his desires. Karma has to take its course. This understanding came my way when I requested that he bring them to the path. Tavayogi very clearly spelled it out, "Some take a birth merely to see through their worldly desires and yearnings. They need to fulfill these. Let them be. Otherwise, the karma shall follow till it is exhausted."

சில மனிதர்களின் பிறப்பு அவர் இச்சைகாக, ஆசைக்காக. அவன் ஆசைகாகப் பிறந்தான். ஆசையில் திளைத்து விட்டு முடித்து விடுவான். அவன் போக்கில் விட்டு விடு. இல்லாவிட்டால் வினை தொடர்ந்து கொண்டே வரும். 

In 2018, my home took on a new name given by Lord Murugan, Agathiyar Tapovanam Malaysia in view of our hold on Agathiyar. The following year, all the festivities came to an abrupt stop and it was time to work on our breath and Yoga. The switch was towards educating us on the mysteries of life. We took on another name Gnana Kottam. But what is in a name if we do not adhere to their teachings, right? A handful stayed back to learn Yoga and the mysteries of life as it was disclosed directly by the Siddhas.

If I had failed in bringing the others to remain in the path, Swami Haridos did a spectacular move in bringing everyone to participate in his bhajan. The Swami is known to insert his preachings and teachings while conducting bhajans. As my colleagues and I headed to the house of a devotee in Petaling Jaya who hosted his stay while in Malaysia many years ago,  Swami Haridos came out of the house and stepped into the car to be driven away. All we got to see of him that day was a wave of his hand as he saw us alight from our car. But fate had it that I should see him again. When I was in Sungai Petani over the weekend word got around that he was to give a talk at a temple. I went over to listen to him. Seeing the audience sit passively while he rendered his songs, he asked us to join in the bhajan. Nothing happened. No one responded. Finally, he said, "அது ஒன்னும் இல்லை. அவர்கள் தோளில் ஏதோ ஒன்று அமர்ந்து இருக்கிறது. அதனால்தான் அவர்களால் கைகளை உயர்த்த இயலவில்லை." He implied that there was something sitting on our shoulders that prevented us from raising our hands in joy and singing. You should have seen the look on the faces of all those gathered then and their immediate response to that statement. They looked around them and at others and slowly lifted their arms and hands and clapped and sang to the rhythm and melody. What a strategy the Swami used to get everyone involved in singing with him.

LEARNING FROM DISASTERS

When a friend who is currently in Turkey alerted us that his home too was caught in the recent floods, another buddy of ours whose home though flooded too made his way in his 4-wheel drive to see if the former's parents, nephews and nieces were safe. But he had to stop short of entering the housing scheme as only boats could ply further into the waters. By God's grace, the rain stopped and the floodwaters subsided. Though he offered to go over and help clean up, the friend's parents managed themselves. The same day another friend rushed to save his parents from the flood driving them back in his 4-wheel drive to his home elsewhere. Not satisfied with saving his parents, he engaged a boat and gathered some friends, and then went back to his parent's housing scheme to distribute food. Our own Persatuan Teman Setia (PTS) contributed an amount towards the purchase of food to be distributed. In going to the ground or rather wading through the water he came to know that what the victims needed most then were candles and matches. He broke into his home and office that was submerged in water and managed to find some of those items and saved the day or rather saved the victims from spending the night in darkness. He literally brought light into their homes. Both these samaritans have charity running in their blood. They were the backbone of AVM, Amudha Surabhi, and Pothihai Dharma Chakram previously in the days of our charity drives. Many like them were caught unexpectedly. A cousin of mine and her family who were hit by the floods previously some 25 years ago, was hit twice. They were picked up by rescuers in boats to safety eventually. My daughter and son-in-law and his friend's family did their small part in sending over essentials to affected households in a nearby village. They observed that only the victims' homes stood but all the rest of their belongings had to be thrown away. These are a couple of stories of the samaritans who came to the aid of those in danger and distress. There are many more out there still helping out the flood victims. 

By this time food was in surplus as many individuals and Non-Government Organizations (NGO's) had begun giving food. Someone who goes by the name "iherng" on social media who was "on a mission to deliver power banks and water supply to his family" jotted his observation, "Lots of kind-hearted people making donations blindly. I see so much food and water just thrown away at the roadside without even being opened." We too saw the same happen during the days when we joined the numerous NGOs in bringing packed food to the homeless on the streets. At one time we decided that they do not need it after seeing them stack this food up without eating them and seeing these packets piled up on the walkways. We diverted our contribution to those who had homes but did not have the means to feed themselves. Malaysian are generally very generous.

Sadly "iherng" pointed out there were many out there who were keener to document the crisis rather than help out. He wrote, "So many trucks with people behind shooting videos as if it's a tourist hot spot. Official rescue vehicles just couldn't access the site because of the congestion." He said it beautifully, "If you're not part of the solution, please don't be part of the problem." I guess they were gathering footage to be posted on their social media accounts and raise the viewership ratings or increase support as in the latter or make an earning out of others' sufferings as did those who asked exorbitant fees to ferry them across to safety. This craze to click their cameras has become very obvious in road accidents too. People stand around taking photos and videos of road accident victims instead of aiding them. There was a video footage posted of a man trying to get up from his hospital bed and taking a few steps. He was seen as obviously in need of help while someone continued filming. The man dropped to the floor and died later. But we shall give the one behind the camera the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he too was bedridden and could not move to aid the man. But he could have always cried or shouted or made a din. But again maybe he could not do that either. Even funerals are not spared these days. The least one could do is to respect the dead.

TO ACT OR NOT TO

At times I think I have become a misfit in society. As I cannot go with the mainstream thoughts and talks, I distance myself. I guess this what Agathiyar has been telling me that I was living a Tava Vazhkai or a life of tapas. I used to wonder if I qualified that status since the tapas I knew were something else that I never did. I guess we are so much into doing things that even tapas to us must be engaging in an action or activity. Today I understand that it is inaction that is required. We tend to mend things. I guess they want it to be left alone. But how is that possible? That would  have us just sit in a place. This is what the sages did. I guess Both Lord Murugan and Agathiyar want me to involve in activity only when necessary and very minimal just sufficient for my daily survival and sustenance. 

If we adopt a life of inactivity refraining from all activities a new activity begins to take place within us that comes on spontaneously by the grace of the guru and divine. To a yogi the body is a portal to enter another world. The breath moves the body keeping it warm and alive. Hence the reason at one stage Tavayogi told me it was God. If earlier he pointed us to the form of Agathiyar as God just as our parents showed Lord Shiva, Vinayagar, and others as God to us in the temples as with Rupam or form, when one goes within the breath becomes a tool on which the God particle hitches a ride. It is now Aruvam that is felt but not seen and without form. When I asked him how Agathiyar comes to him he said as Light or Jothi. Later he explained that it is not the fire that appears when the wick burns but the red aura that is seen surrounding the flame. This is neither felt nor does it have a form. He cleared my doubt since if it is the open flame then God is in the campfire or bushfire, the flame in the gas stove, the burning ghats that consume dead bodies, the burning house, and the dumpyard that burns besides in the Yagam or sacrificial fire pit.

If initially, our parents showed God as residing in the temples and they were given forms and names, soon coming under the tutelage of the guru we now addressed them as mantras, specific sounds that resonated with their frequencies. We saw them as formless. This is usually aided with yantras or abstract geometrical diagrams itched on copper foils. Taking up the practice of Pranayama we become aware and feel the breath moving within and are told that this lifeforce is God. Meanwhile, we are shown God as existing in others too, in nature and all around us, and in the entire Prapanjam or creation. Then we are shown God as Light. In simple terms, anything that sustains life on earth is God. That is why our elders bowed and prayed to all things, stone, rock, metal, nature, tools, fire, water, food, etc.

Man who was wild became civilized over time. Bringing us to Sariyai where we only pray for our wellbeing at temples and homes, in bringing us to rituals as in Kriyai it became a universal prayer for the wellness of all of creation. We were told to look out for the other too, appeasing their hunger and sharing their troubles as seen in charity. Coming to Yoga, one's attention is turned to oneself, tuning the body and mind to bring focus to the purpose and goal that awaits us. In all these, the underlying factor is discipline that is stressed by Tavayogi in all his speeches. Here is where we get the feeling that we are a misfit in a society of merry-goers, and those who while their time in endless debate and arguments, etc. Where do we fit? It is hard if you have principles and live up to it. These are the greatest challenges that we face. Just as Lord Shiva came in a dream some 33 years ago and asks me to go into hibernation, it looks like there is a need to shut myself up completely and be oblivious to whatever happens around me. Is that possible or viable? When will the shutters come down?But would that not be selfish on our part? Were the saints then selfish in working on themselves? Many had come our way and though their teachings reached out to many but very few managed to achieve what the saints did. Along the way many became obsesed with fame and power or fell from glory or faded into oblivion. Shall we see another Ramalinga Adigal arise in our midst? Shall we see another Agathiyar walk among us? 

I guess this is the reason the elders had us come to know God intimately only when we have settled all our responsibilities and retired in old age.

THE BODY = TEMPLE

I am lucky that I could designate a room for my worship of Agathiyar and the Siddhas and to be alone with them. Many might not be at liberty to afford even a private corner in their home. Similarly, an individual might not be at liberty to worship the Siddhas due to indifference or objection from other family members. Others might not have the know-how on conducting rituals or might fear what if they flaw and earn the wrath of the Gods or the Siddhas. I guess that is the reason we have temples so that these individuals who yearned to be with God but could not carry out their prayers in their homes could head for the nearest temples to worship them. God does not discriminate against his children. He provides for all to have a piece of the cake. 

Slowly weaning from temple worship to worshipping God within the body that is a temple and abode of the Gods, we are introduced to many more states of spiritual evolution that now take place within. Bhagawan Ramana speaks about his visits to temples in BV Narasimha Swami's book "Self Realization, The Life and Teachings of Sri Ramana Maharshi", Sri Ramanasramam, 1985. He describes his earlier experiences and that upon his awakening. 

Formerly I would go there (the temple of Meenakshi Sundareswara) rarely with friends, see the images, put on sacred ashes and sacred vermilion on the forehead and return home without any perceptible emotion. After the awakening into the new life, I would go almost every evening to the temple. I would go alone and stand before Siva or Meenakshi or Nataraja or the sixty three saints for long periods. I would feel waves of emotion overcoming me. The former hold on the body had been given up by my spirit, since it ceased to cherish the idea 'I am the body'. The spirit therefore longed to have a fresh hold and hence the frequent visits to the temple and the overflow of the soul in profuse tears. This was God's play with the individual spirit. I would stand before Isvara, the controller of the universe and the destinies of all, the omniscient and omnipresent, and occasionally pray for the descent of his grace upon me so that my devotion might increase and become perpetual like that of the sixty three saints. Mostly I would not pray at all, but let the deep within flow on and into the deep without. Tears would mark this overflow of the soul and not betoken any particular feeling of pleasure or pain. I had no desire to avoid rebirth or seek release, to obtain dispassion or salvation... in the language of the books, I should describe my mental or spiritual condition after the awakening, as Suddha Manas or Vijnana, ie the intuition of the illumined.

Now I am beginning to understand the reasons for the spontaneous flow of tears before the Gods at the temples I visited. This is what I experience too. The enlightened sage shares his experiences further. 

I had read no books other than Periapuranam, my Bible lessons and bits of Tayumanavar or Tevaram. My notion of God (or Isvara as I called the Infinite but Personal Diety) was similar to that found in the Puranas. I had not heard then of Brahman, samsara, etc. I had no idea that there was an Essence or Impersonal Real underlying everything, and that myself and Isvara were both identical with it. At Tiruvannamalai, as I listened to Ribhu Gita and other works, I picked up these facts and discovered that these books were analysing and naming what I had previously felt intuitively without analysis and name. In the language of the books, I could describe my mental or spiritual condition after awakening, as Suddha Manas or Vijnana, i.e., the intuition of the illumined.

Manikavasagar describes his experience in coming to God and how his perspective changed. Initially, regarding the body as an impermanent shelter, he saw the divine in it later. The body that exhibited emotions and sufferings and took on pain now takes on bliss. Manikavasagar upon meeting God and attaining bliss could not live another moment separate from God. Not knowing the means to permanently unite with God he laments, "I tried to severe this body that has sinned, by all possible means and failed. Neither does the soul free itself on its own. I cannot live another moment without you." He then comes to a sudden realization that this body was not his to take. He begins to plead for Paramukthi, gaining Siddhi with the body intact. He prays that God takes him to his abode with the physical body intact. He brings God within so that the physical body does not perish and merges with Tillai Ambalar still retaining his body.

பொத்தை ஊன் சுவர் புழுப்பொதிந்து உளுத்து அசும்பு ஒழுகிய பொய்க்கூரை
இத்தை மெய்யெனக் கருதி நின்று இடர்க் கடல் சுழித்தலைப் படுவேனை
முத்து மாமணி மாணிக்க வயிரத்த பவளத்தின் முழுச் சோதி
அத்தன் ஆண்டு தன் அடியரில் கூட்டிய அதிசயம் கண்டோமே

Residing in a dwelling made of meat walls and with numerous openings, and a false roof, with worms crawling within, when damaged, fluids begin to flow, whence I am tossed about in an endless whirlpool of suffering; when such a dwelling is regarded as real and turned towards the sparkle of the gem studded God, he brings me into his fold and company of his servants.

Thirumular who similarly regarded the body as filth in the beginning, later upon realizing the creator within him, began to regard the body as the abode of the Divine and took good care of it.

உடம்பினை முன்னம் இழுக்கென் றிருந்தேன்
உடம்பினு குள்ளே உறுபொருள் கண்டேன்
உடம்புளே உத்தமன் கோயில் கொண்டான் என்று
உடம்பினை யானிருந்து ஓம்புகின்றேனே

When the body deteriorates, the breath prepares to leave. One who shuns his body would not reach the state of Gnanam. Learning the techniques of sustaining the body, I kept the body standing hence retained the breath in it. 

உடம்பார் அழியின் உயிரார் அழிவர்
திடம்பட மெய்ஞானம் சேரவு மாட்டார்
உடம்பை வளர்க்கும் உபாயம் அறிந்தே
உடம்பை வளர்த்தேன் உயிர்வளர்த்தேனே

Tavayogi says that the body is dependant on the breath and the breath keeps the body alive. The Siddhas besides caring for their health and body, mastered the means to prolong the stay of the breath within. Osho says they learned to hold the breath for 48 minutes at a go. Besides this, they give equal importance to knowing the Soul within. Hence they take into consideration all aspects of living both here in the now and life beyond our existence here. 

P. Karthigayan in his "History of Medical and Spiritual Sciences of Siddhas of Tamil Nadu, Notion Press, 2016 beautifully summarizes the Siddha path. He writes, "The Siddha cult is initiated on one by fate, encouraged by his nature, kindled by god's will, endured by his aspiration and accomplished by his spontaneous knowledge." One could never come closer than this in describing the core elements that are needed if one were to come to the Siddha path. Even the handful of us who are relatively new to this path can advocate to the truth in this. For instance, I was initiated into the path by fate too; encouraged by my nature to thoroughly learn everything that I laid my hands on; every act of mine was kindled by God's will, sustained by his grace and halted at times out of his compassion and love; indeed I endured it all seeing his aspiration for me to see through his will, and finally I shall accomplish that by the gift of his spontaneous knowledge. 

REJOICING IN SILENCE

Today I briefly had touched the zone of silence. It just came on as I was at my daughter's home. When I told my 4-year-old granddaughter about it she immediately sat down in padmasana and invited me too. She made the gesture of applying the sacred ash on my forehead and body and went back to close her eyes. In taking in the bliss I realized that the silence came from within me and enveloped me. Though the external noises were audible this silence superseded them and drove me to become aware of my breath and watch it. Now I understand how the sages could sit in silence even in the marketplace and in the midst of people and all the din and noise. And I wrongfully thought all the external noises should subside for us to go within and touch the silence. This brief moment of bliss has to be extended says Tavayogi. 

Frank Alexander in his book "In the Hours of Meditation", Advaita Ashrama, Calcutta, 1993, describes this moment beautifully,

There are hours when one forgets the world. There are hours when one approaches that region of blessedness in which the soul is self contained and in the presence of the Highest. Then is silenced all clamoring of desire; all sound of sense is stilled. Only God is. There is no holier sanctuary than a purified mind, a mind concentrated upon God. There is no more sacred place than the region of peace into which the mind enters when it becomes fixed in the Lord. Purity, bliss, blessedness, peace. The spiritual consciousness dawns in these silent, sacred hours. The soul is close to its source.

He says that during these intimate and private hours of meditation, "When all was silence in the depths of meditation" the Guru appears with many messages. 

Frank Alexander's book, is a great book that brings many insights from the Voice for the Soul and brings insights from the Guru. Every word resonates with truth as we begin to experience these moments. We can relate to the teachings of Agathiyar and Tavayogi pretty well now.

Agathiyar on many occasions reiterated that there was no need to adorn the garb of a mendicant. We could achieve the same while living with the family and society. Frank says the same, "It is the monastic spirit, not the monastic garb that is of importance."

Just as Tavayogi told us not to try to compute and understand life but to live it, Frank says, "The form is nothing; the life is everything." We shall go on forever trying to understand life and waste it in doing so. Rather it would be advantageous and fruitful to pick a path and travel it, picking up and collecting the experiences that come our way. 

Frank asks us to, "Bring divinity into commonplace daily life", "see the invisible divinity in the visible universe about us" and "see the difference" for ourselves. He asks us to bring Him into each moment of our lives, spiritualizing Maya, spiritualizing the moment, making even the menial acts divine. Karma then never lifts its hood; never associating with the act. 

Let us learn to spiritualize all that comes into contact with us. This is what we sought of the masters, bowing to them and waiting for them to place their hands on our heads to bless us. This is what they did too with their touch. That was needed at the start of our spiritual journey. But we cannot possibly be relying on their touch forever. It is time we worked on this magic that is given to us. It is time we enhanced it with our continuous efforts and as Tavayogi says learn to prolong these moments of bliss, for how long do we want to keep bowing to others or look up to them each time we face a disastrous situation. It does not mean that we have turned against the guru and the saints but on the contrary, they would be happy that we have begun to stand on our own feet. Frank says, "Faith in others will only make thee more and more helpless and miserable. Make thy own self thy Guru. Each is his own savior and his own Lord. Let the human in thee die so that the divine shall be revealed."  This is what Agathiyar, Ramalinga Adigal, and Tavayogi are trying to do too. A true guru makes another a guru too rather than have him be a follower, disciple, subordinate, slave, or servant forever. If we learn to build that inner strength or Atma Balam we shall be able to take control of all situations. Tavayogi says the soul (Atma) is supposed to be free as a bird and not caged, free to explore, free to discover, and free to make mistakes, with no dogmas, doctrines, rules or codes to adopt and follow.  It learns, appreciates, regrets, and comes back to the fold eventually. 

J. Krishnamurthi too implies the same. 

I want therefore to set man free, rejoicing as the bird in the clear sky, unburdened, independent, ecstatic in that freedom. And I, for whom you have been preparing for eighteen years, now say that you must be free of all these things, free from your complications, your entanglements. You are all depending for your spirituality on someone else, for your happiness on someone else, for your enlightenment on someone else; and although you have been preparing for me for eighteen years, when I say all these things are unnecessary, when I say that you must put them all away and look within yourselves for the enlightenment, for the glory, for the purification, and for the incorruptibility of the self, not one of you is willing to do it. There may be a few, but very, very few. So why have an organization?

J Krishnamurthi adds that "the moment spiritualism is organized it becomes religion. Spiritualism is beyond any dogmas and doctrines." Just like Krishnamurthi laments that "When I say that you must put them all away and look within yourselves for the enlightenment, for the glory, for the purification, and for the incorruptibility of the self, not one of you is willing to do it"; Just as Ramalinga Adigal before leaving his mortal frame, spoke his mind and told those gathered that they shall never listen to the word of God, adding that his teachings would be picked up by the west; Agathiyar too many times voiced his concern. I guess now that that is the reason Agathiyar dissolved our WhatsApp group too. 

Frank too says "The religious life is purely personal and subjective." I had vented my anger at others for not coming to the path in my early days of venture into it. As I began to see and experience magical moments and solutions in coming to the path, I shared them with others. But to my dismay, they gave me a cold look and were indifferent to the miracles that I related to them. Then my wife hit me with a brick telling me that their time was not up as yet to awake from their deep slumber. What a great assessment of the situation she had, I told myself.  I took a knocking again recently from Tavayogi. When I requested Tavayogi to bring someone I knew into the path of the Siddhas, he surprised me by telling me to let him be. Tavayogi reveals the subtle message behind one's disinterest in taking up the path. He told me that the other needed to exhaust his karma in the form of desires that he cherished and carried with him, otherwise, his karma shall continue to follow him. I realized the words of Frank echo here too, "In listening to another, see the realization side instead of the logic of his speech; then no argument shall ensue and thine own realization shall receive new impulses." 

Just as Tavayogi shut the shutters in my face when I proclaimed my joy in having met him after he stepped into my home, telling me that he was a nobody and that I should look up to Agathiyar instead, Frank tells us to be loyal and true to the source from which we received inspirations, "Work to thine utmost, and then to thine utmost be resigned." Let us all be an instrument of the divine. Frank writes,

Make the body a tabernacle for the soul; and let the soul be more and more revealed day by day. Then shalt that darkness which is ignorance be gradually dispersed; and that light which is the divine wisdom shall gradually be revealed.

Frank writes of the bond with one's guru.

The love and insight of the Guru, having been once bestowed, have been bestowed forever. Through his mercy, through his illumination thy most inmost soul has been resurrected. He has sought thee out and through him thou hast been made whole. The realization of the Guru descends in torrents upon the disciple. It is ceaseless; and nothing can resist it. His love for thee knows no bounds. To all lengths he shall go for thee. Never shall he desert thee. Even his curse is blessing in disguise. 

Frank continues,

More and more does the personality of the disciple merge in the Guru nature while all the time the Guru's personality is seen to merge more and more into that of which even his body had been a manifestation. Then the sublimest oneness is attained. The waters of the dual personalities of Guru and disciple become the ocean of the infinite Brahman.

This is the state of Sarupam, the third of four stages that we climb. We take on the form of the guru and divine. 

THE UNSEEN HAND of DIVINITY

When people came to Tavayogi seeking to pour their hearts out he would tell them that the reason for their suffering was their past karma or vinai. For those who await a solution, he would tell them to look up towards the Siddhas, come to their worship, and praise them. He would stop at that. Tavayogi never wanted to take on others' karma. He would not dish out talisman to heal them or relieve their sufferings.

But he made an exception in my daughter's case. When I read the Nadi for her she was given a long list of parikaram or remedies to carry out. I went ahead with those locally. For those that needed to be done in India and those that spanned a long period, I decided to inform Tavayogi. When I listed the details over the phone he surprised me by telling me that there was no need for it. I was baffled and remained silent. I was confused as to who I should listen to - whether Agathiyar who came in the Nadi or my guru Tavayogi in physical form.

Sensing my silence Tavayogi broke the silence telling me to go ahead if that would please me.  I decided not to go against his words. Today I can safely say that he took care of matters that day for Agathiyar never brought up the subject again. Just as my first guru Supramania Swami gifted me the merits of all his years of tavam, Tavayogi took up my daughter's karma for we know karma is an energy form too that cannot be exhausted but only displaced by another equivalent positive act or replaced in another form or transmitted to another to bear its weight. Hence remedies such as prayers, puja, rituals, pilgrimages, and charity are given by the Siddhas to counter it. So it did not come as a surprise when Agathiyar came recently and told us that the suffering Tavayogi endured just before he went into the state of samadhi was because he had taken on others karma out of love towards them, which reminds us of why Jesus Christ was prepared to suffer for the sins of others.

Similarly, when his guru Chitramuthu Adigal in a Nadi reading for a devotee requested us to carry out a Siddhar Puja at the Tanneermalai temple in Taiping where Chitramuthu Adigal had meditated for some time, we were suggesting that if it was a Sunday instead of a Thursday that he wanted, many other devotees could join too. Tavayogi immediately gave his consent to carry it out on a Sunday though he had just read out the Jeeva Nadi to us. The Siddhas did accept the change of day we requested. Now, who was Tavayogi who had so much influence in the Siddha circle?

When I requested Tavayogi to bring someone I knew into the path of the Siddhas, he surprised me by telling me to let him be. Tavayogi told me that the other needed to exhaust his karma in the form of desires that he cherished and carried with him, otherwise, his karma shall continue to follow him. But when several sadhakas began to lag behind on their practice and given assignments, Agathiyar, Ramalinga Adigal, and Tavayogi have been pushing to complete them. To others, they told them to drop their activities such as that of charity as they had gained sufficient merits and credits and to venture into meditation. The Siddhas go that extra mile for us out of love and compassion for us.

Who can comprehend the Lilas or play of the divine? I understand now why Tavayogi told us not to compute life nor try to understand it but instead live it. This would save us a lot of headaches and confusion. Now I understand why Lord Shiva came in a dream some 33 years earlier to put a stop to all my inquiries, doubts, and confusion when what I read and saw did not tally. I was angry with the Gods for having his devotees go through suffering then. After a period of hibernation of 19 years, he brought me before his Nadi and read to me the reason for all of the mankind's suffering. It was the first time I learned about karma.

Man who is caught in the web of Maya, is not aware of the Atma that accompanied him at the beginning of life here. The "I" in him shadows it. But when the awareness of the presence of his long-lost buddy, his Atma is awakened by the guru, his Atma comes to the fore and takes charge of his life henceforth. It begins to chart his life from that moment on provided he surrenders his 'I" forever. The foremost act that the Atma does is to help him tackle his karma. Once that baggage that we had carried for many births is sorted and laid bare before us and solutions figured out to wean us off its effects, the Atma leads us on a path that brings us to salvation. The Atma eventually leads us to its source the Paramatma.

CONNECTING WITH OTHERS

When the floodwaters began to rise in the home of Suren, Perarulalan whose home was affected too, made his way in his four-wheel-drive pick-up Hilux to see if he could assist in any way. But unfortunately, he could only go so far as to enter the housing scheme but could not go further. He had to return as only a boat could make its way to these houses. But by God's grace, the floodwaters began to recede in Suren's housing area. What made us extra concerned was that Suren is currently in Italy. His aged parents were left with their grandchildren. But as the others battled with the floodwaters that had crept into their houses entirely submerging the first floors, many samaritans are reported to be making their way with boats tied to their vehicles heading to these grief-stricken locations. That is the spirit of fellow humans who care for others. We read from https://www.thestar.com.my/news/nation/2021/12/20/floods-malaysians-from-outside-klang-valley-bring-boats-to-help that "many private vehicles were seen bearing boats and heading south towards the Klang Valley. Some were towing the boats, there were those who used lorries, while others strapped them to the roof of their cars. Kudos to the Malaysian rakyat who are traveling great distances to help those stranded (in the floods). Many Malaysians are so good-hearted and loving.” 

I remember the days of my childhood when we had to go through such instances as the rented house we stayed in was exactly beside a river that flowed through. Once it becomes swollen, it begins to overflow and come into our home. But in those times we did not see this much rain.

The times when we went in search of a path and a guru are over says Agathiyar. The times when we went in search of the hungry and needy in the past is over too he says. Now it is time we knew the Atma within us. For that one has to look within and reach within instead of looking outside as previously. 

Life is a timeline of fleeting moments. Life is a train of thoughts. Life is a stream of air going through us. Life is a constant bombardment of noise and sound. In going within one learns to look at each frame in the timeline. In going within one begins to look at each thought bubble. In going within one observes each breath. In going within one comes to shut out all sound. In going within we connect with one's Atma. In connecting with one's Atma we come to know the Paramatma from whence we came as a spark. This Atma lives in every living creature. Hence we are all connected. This is seen in times of catastrophe and tragedies. The connection in us comes to the surface in such trying moments.

THE KOSAS

If initially, we thought homes and cars were inundated by the rising waters of the flood over the past weekend, as the floodwaters began to recede, reports of flood victims who have died in the floods arise while others including household pets are reported missing. Besides shop lots, and office spaces being flooded, public properties have been devastated. Walking through these video reports with my granddaughter, I began to explain to her about the magic of creation and the need to be grateful.

Asking her to hold out both her hands, I held the hand of her younger sister. I told her the left hand was that of her mum and the right her dad. Then I pointed out each finger as one of the five elements earth, water, fire, air, and space. Taking one element each from both the parents,  the pindam or embryo is made in her mother's womb. This grows into a fetus and a child who is today her little brother. Life is given to an otherwise motionless matter through the breath. This breath determines our life span, hence the Siddhas and Yogi's paying special attention to it. We continued to carry out some simple basic pranayama and yoga asanas.

Just as when the floodwaters receded and exposed the extent of damage, as we gain newer experiences and learnings, there is a need to revisit our earlier readings and posts from an updated understanding and perspective. We shall surprise ourselves how life which is in a constant change demands a constant need of re-evaluation of understanding as we take another step ahead. It is as if the moment we think we have understood something another portal opens up as we dwell deeper into the subject or another step appears before us in the murky waters as we wade through it further in. It looks like there are no concrete answers to life's mysteries. Life simply mystifies us as we take every step.

I wrote earlier,

Annamaya kosam is the material outermost vessel that is the physical body composed of physical matter, the outermost layer that is visible, that we can touch and feel. Problems with the body are dealt with by seeking medication and surgery. The medicine that the doctor administers, works its way into the patient. While treatment and medicine are administered, the body could either accept or reject them. As for surgery, and as the saying goes, "the doctor stitches, God heals", after the surgeon performs surgery on a patient, the healing takes place on its own accord from within oneself. The body with all this assistance miraculously works to rejuvenate itself back to its old self. What a wonderful and miraculous tool the body is. If all his attempts fail in reviving the patient, the doctor calls us to pray for a miracle to save the patient. We then seek the help of the Divine.

When Tavayogi taught some friends and me both Yogasanam and Pranayama and when I diligently did it, I could experience the prana travel within, expanding tremendously, on the verge of exploding. This is the Pranamaya Kosam that exists within us as a second layer after the physical body.

Manomaya Kosam, the third layer travels afar without the need for us to move physically. I can be at my home and yet travel to Paris through my thoughts and visualize myself taking a Gondola ride, gracefully gliding through those dreamy waterways, and returning home in seconds. I can be engaged in a conversation with someone else and at the same time access the person, think of a reply, relate the conversation to something else, etc all at the same time as we hold the conversation. 

Vijnanamaya kosam, the next layer is where one encounters wonders upon wonders, and divine experiences, including miracles. When Tavayogi took me into the jungles, hills, and caves, he would keep pointing out to me the presence of the Siddhas through the cool breeze that blew as in the wonderful scent and aroma that was in the air and the light showers that came down on us. He would point up to the sky and tell me the Siddhas were showering flowers on us. Initially, I never felt, never could take in the aroma, and never could see these wonders. Later while sitting at Agathiyar's sannadhi at Agasthiyampalli, crying my heart out begging Agathiyar to open his eyes in his granite statue as he has promised in the Nadi, a breeze blew cooling my back on that hot summer day. Still, I could not equate this with their presence then. When I came out of his tiny temple, disappointed that Agathiyar did not show me the said miracle, I found Tavayogi already standing outside in the hot sun. He motioned me towards him asking me to stand at the exact spot he stood. He told me to watch Agathiyar open and close his eyes in his granite statue. I peered into the darkness of the inner sanctum. I could not make him out much less see his eyes open and shut. Both of us returned indoors disappointed. Then as I got to sit down in my earlier spot, Tavayogi asked me to go sit in the inner sanctum. Fearing that it would be wrong and inappropriate of me to enter the sacred chamber, I chose to sit on the trestle between the inner and outer chambers. That is when I saw his left eye in his granite statue open. The moment I turned to Tavayogi he hushed me away from the place saying that they would only show for a moment. As I turned to see Agathiyar while making my way out, he gave me a wide grin and kept looking at me with the left eye open. Traveling to our next stop at Papanasam, Agathiyar again surprised me with another miracle here at his sannadhi, although he did not mention that this would take place, as he did for Agasthiyampalli. He opened both his eyes blinking at me. This time around it was not something sculptured in granite but two real human eyes. Today I understand that seeing these and other miracles are taking a trip within into the Vijnanamaya kosam. 

Anandamaya kosam is the innermost layer where one touches the divine, encountering bliss. The energy in this realm moves us. By tapping this energy we could use it to solve and heal ourselves efficiently. Gnana arises here. Karma resides here. While we go to the Nadi reader to know our past, Tavayogi knew his past while sitting in meditation reaching out into this zone. Dwelling into this layer will reveal reasons for one's unidentified illnesses, diseases, and discomforts too. 

If I concluded earlier that "It's interesting to note that all the names for these layers end in Maya. When I was in pain close to 2 1/2 years in 2011 due to symptoms akin to sciatica, Agathiyar brushed it off as Maya. This time suffering for the same reason, Lord Muruga says he came to play his Leela. How do we explain all these? We have to go a long way in understanding the play of the Divine", I ask myself if nature is used as a tool to remind us of the impermanency of life and all our belongings? Is nature reminding us that all is Maya? 

I have to revisit the earlier understanding of the kosas and rewrite it as carried in a previous post. 

The Siddhas brought us to the realization that we are not the Annamaya Kosa. You need the energy to move a thing. The prana and Pranamaya Kosa is the energy body that moves the physical. So what is this "I"? Is it the physical body or the Pranayama Kosa? Or are we a culmination of both? We cannot possibly be the body or the energy alone for we have a mind that thinks and drives the energy to move the body. So are we then the Manomaya Kosa? But wait a minute! We realize that there is someone driving our thoughts, driving us to think, analyze, judge, and opine. So are we the Vignanamaya Kosa then? Does this gnanam drive our thoughts? Then why is not everyone a gnani? 

This body is lifeless without the energy derived from prana in food, water, and sunlight. This body is lifeless without the energy of the Pranayama Kosa. This body is lifeless without the Manomaya Kosa too. We turn into idiots without the Vignanamaya Kosa. All the experience gained through this composite body of 4 Kosas leads us to joy when it connects with the pleasures derived from the sense organs and bliss when it connects with the divine experiences. We become drenched in bliss. That sheath of bliss is Anandamaya Kosa. 

We are told that we are by nature a buddha or divine. We are the Atma, pure in nature. The Atma is only seen to be separate from the Paramatma when it leaves the home to stay with the Annamaya Kosa and Pranamaya Kosa momentarily just as a teen is eager to move out of his parents home to gain his own experiences and supposedly be free. As Tavayogi says we need the body to know the breath, and we check the breath to ascertain if there is life in the body, both Annamaya and Pranayama Kosas are essential to exist and for survival. This is the state of plants and animals. Man has an added faculty that of the Manomaya Kosa to think. He is then gifted with the Arivu or intelligence that is the Vignanamaya Kosa so that he makes wise decisions. The wisdom in him leads him to know his Atma that is forever in a state of bliss in the Anandamaya Kosa.  

Now, this I believe portrays a truer picture and the reality behind these Kosas.

STAYING CONNECTED

It all falls into place. The puzzle pieces finally have come together to present a total and complete image. What we see, feel, hear, taste, and breath in is all a manifestation of that one energy. That blast of energy that caused all of creation to come forth triggered many components that came together to give shape and form, to all of creation. As it manifested in the lower forms its intensity and force became reduced drastically and even seem negligible. But it still has the potential to be elevated to its former glory with assistance from higher beings or energies. Just as men who have the means help another, the divine energy works its way down to our level to elevate us. They are often known as and go by numerous names and forms as in Siddhas, Rishis, Munis, guardian angels, ancestral deities, village deities, ista devata, etc. When we start to connect up with them, their energy comes within and resonates in us. We become connected to our source again. The charge begins to flow through us intensifying the energy stored in each of our power banks - the chakras. The energy that charges our present store of energy is the breath and the prana that comes with it. The capacity to breathe fully aids in bringing more prana within that gives rise to the dormant energies within, which once awakened electrifies the whole body. 

The thoughts that are energy too are sensed by the divine. When I sat before Lord Murugan in a Jeeva Nadi reading by Taranibalan Aiya, my thoughts raised to question, "What! Another temple for you? Ain't there enough temples already around? Why do you need another?", Lord Murugan as if he read my mind replied instantly even before my thoughts could manifest as words. He told me that he was aware of the numerous temples built for him but added that I would do it differently. 

As my wife was caring for our newborn grandson and two other granddaughters a thought arose if I should take a long walk. I contemplated going to India once the borders are opened. Mentioning it to my wife, she asks me where I was headed. I told her I wasn't sure but it wasn't going to be a pilgrimage. I would spend some time at Kallar ashram and head out to meet the many friends I had made online residing in India. Just days after this thought arose, the Indian Government opened up applications for visas beginning 15 November. Scrolling through the web pages of the airlines, I realized that not many were flying over to India. There were no direct flights but several that came with numerous transits enroute. Some took as much as 11, 13, 15, 18, and 24 hours to arrive, what previously took only 3 3/4 hours before the advent of the pandemic. At the same time, Mataji invited me over for the Guru Puja to be held on 23rd December. Friends in India invited me to stay with them too when they read my past post regarding my intent. Then Agathiyar came and gave the green light telling me that "Since you had desired to go, go visit Kallar." He added, "You shall know once you are there." This baffled me.

Meanwhile, I began to look back on the principle I had upheld after coming to Agathiyar, Supramania Swami, and Tavayogi. Agathiyar in the Nadi in the past told me to visit numerous other saintly men and his abodes, caves, and temples. I had told Agathiyar that I was not going anywhere and that if he was to give me anything let that take place within the four walls of my home. Now, why did I deviate from my hold on this principle I asked myself. I corrected myself and told Agathiyar that I was not going anywhere and that if Tavayogi was to give me anything at Kallar let it happen in the confines of my home. What do you know! Tavayogi came and told me that I need not come to Kallar as he had come to my home. Days later I was told that the Indian Government had stopped issuing tourist visas in view of the rising numbers of victims to the new variant of virus.

Over the weekend, my family was invited to a prayer for Karupanasamy Aiya by a relative. I did not go. But Aiya had my family pass me a message. I was contemplating visiting my mother in another state for some time now. I was asking around if someone was going that way and if I could tag along. Now Aiya comes and tells me since I had desired to see my mother go ahead and visit her. He also told my family that I have upheld Agathiyar's command to sit in and not go out. Now Aiya tells me that it is alright to visit one's mother. 

In reading the Nadi I came to know that our lives, the past, present, and future were an open book to them. Our actions are being monitored through an intriguing network of CCTV Surveillance System and recorded in the achieves in their cloud, the Akashic records that have a computer or server in our physical body, located in the uvula according to Agathiyar, that connects and syncs with the data in the cloud. Now our thoughts too are being read even before they materialize. It looks that they are indeed in charge now. They either authorize these thoughts as we have seen above or choose to remain silent as in my desire to move house. 

As I felt that the present house was not conducive to the principles and the lifestyle I have come to adopt and a lot of other reasons that I can cook up, I contemplated moving. But the only obstacle was that since Agathiyar says that it is his home and his Vanam or garden and all the Siddhas and deities visit him there, besides it has become a place for him to reside and carry out his tapas and meditation, I cannot possibly make a decision for it is no more my home. Neither is he addressing this matter too. Finally, I came to a realization that it was only my problem and not that of others. The surrounding only irked me and irritated me but not the rest of the neighbors in the neighborhood. Nobody seems to be complaining except me. So I dropped the idea of selling the house. This place was a haven when I bought the property and moved in in 1994. But things have changed a lot and I have changed a lot too. I cannot mingle with society anymore. I cannot stomach their ways and the talk. I have no common subject or common ground to start a conversation with another. All I can talk about is Agathiyar while the others only talk about politics, current affairs, and their problems. When friends tell me and ask if they could share my contact number with those keen to know and meet me after reading the blog, I replied that I was happy in just servicing the present contacts and have no intention to make new friends. So I opted to distance myself. At the same time, Agathiyar too shuts me up in my home. 

Someone asks me once what did I gain by coming to the worship of the Siddhas. I could easily turn back to her and asks what did she gain by going to temples? Another asks me why should we praise God? Nobody questions why they need to eat and sleep, why they need to toil, slog and work, why they need to run after their desires in accumulating wealth etc. But when we tell them to take care of their health and pray they begin to ask questions. They are so engrossed and caught in caring for their material needs in this life, - a life that is so very obvious only transitional between worlds. Everything else is alien to them. Many cultures tell us that what they do now are preparatory measures taken for them to exit this life and enter another plane, realm, or world later. But on the other hand, many equally argue that as what is out there is not known they prefer to live life to the fullest now in the present. We do not have answers to these questions. All I know is that a sage had asked me to come to his path through a calling to read his Nadi. I chose to listen and obey. In coming to the path he gave me many practices but never asked me to share or teach another until recently. There were off course the many rituals that he asks I show another which I did.

Sriinath Raghavan says it beautifully in his post on Fb.

"What do you do for Sadhana?" asked a Sadhaka. The reply, "There are two aspects to my Sadhana - One that I undertake for others and the other I do for myself." The former helps others on their journey towards self-fulfillment and the latter helps me remain self-fulfilled. The former demands me to work with many deities and divine forces, while the latter is all contained in the word "Rām".

This journey that started in 2002 had evolved into a beautiful and magical journey. So to all those non-believers or those who doubt I can only say tread the path first and see for yourself. You cannot expect another to fill you in for it is not an academic subject that we muck up but one that needs to be experienced. How does one experience energy if not by touching the life current?

Sriinath in another post says of these experiences,

A Sadhaka friend visited us for lunch and we spoke about a lot of things Spiritual. In the course of our conversation, it drifted to my going into Bhava Avastha and he exclaimed how joyful it would be to experience such a blissful state. I told him as much as it's blissful, it's equally painful once you come out of that state. 

I told him how my body pains constantly and how it gets heated up in a jiffy causing a lot of physio-pyschological changes disrupting the natural flow of things. He out of concern began telling me all the remedies to counter the pain and heat, exercising daily, consuming Coconut Water, Ayurvedic Medicines, doing Yoga, wearing natural stones etc.

I listened to him with utmost respect and then told him, "These states of being are highly dichotomous in nature. At one moment you will be blissful, the very next you wil be miserable. These solutions have been tried and none really worked.

One has to talk the plunge. He can never know from just watching or following another. This is where the guru comes to either coax us to take the plunge or he kick us off the cliff. Either way, it is for our good and the good of mankind on the whole. 

CONNECTING UP

Three days of non-stop torrential rain has caused havoc in the lives of people some of whom we know and damaged their homes and cars. The rain seemed to have stopped now. 

Can man stop nature's wreath? When parts of the world were affected by the tsunami in 2004 Tavayogi decided to light a Yagam to prevent such a disaster from happening again. He said it would appease mother nature from lashing her might. Soon this became an annual event as he included the public too to sit with him and bring relief to all the problems that they face. He named it the Sarva Dosa Nivaarana Maha Yagam. It received a good response from people near and far registering to sit at individual fire pits and conducting the yagam headed by Tavayogi who fed the main fire pit. This is how he got devotees to engage in rituals for their wellbeing and that of the world at large. A similar yogam will be held on 23rd December 2021 to commemorate Agathiyar's Jayanthi and Guru Puja and appease mother nature.

When I was conducting a smaller version of the yagam called the homam regularly after Tavayogi directed me to do so Agathiyar sent many seekers over to watch and learn to light the fire and conduct the worship of the Siddhas. When Agathiyar came in the form of a statue a handful of devotees stood by me and we ushered him into the statue reciting his mantra as directed. As these devotees invited him into their homes we brought Agathiyar's statue into their homes too. My home slowly became a center where many came together to worship the Siddhas after reading their Nadi in 2013. My home had to have a name for newcomers to easily locate, find it, and step in. We called it Agathiyar Vanam or Agathiyar's garden (AVM). I have to thank all those who have stepped within the 4 walls of my home and joined us in reciting the names of the Siddhas. This energized the home with the presence of the Siddhas in subtle form. Then Agathiyar wanted them to bring the worship into their homes too. When Tavayogi came by in 2016 we brought Agathiyar's statue into the homes of devotees again. When the temple committees that respected the Siddhas invited Agathiyar over we brought him to these temples and performed the yagam and worship of the Siddhas. Then one fine day Agathiyar put a stop to moving his statue. Just as I had hoped that they shall begin similar worship in their homes he wanted each home to become his vanam or garden. I do not know if it took place or is happening for I have yet to receive an invitation to attend any worship at their premises. Soon he disbanded the WhatsApp prayer group AVM and its charity arm Amudha Surabhi too. He passed on the act of doing charity to others and had us learn yoga and go within. The pandemic that came in the heels of the closure of AVM might have derailed such gatherings but it presented the time that many claimed they did not have before, to engage in their home puja and yoga.

When Lord Murugan told me to build a temple for him and intercepted my thoughts telling me that though he agreed there we already many temples existing in his name I would do it differently I worked my mind out thinking how would that be. Today I understood that he had meant in the managing of such affairs. Just as I disliked my home becoming a center where everyone congregated once a week or at other auspicious times, or where they rushed to place their prayers in times of distress, Agathiyar wanted them to turn their homes into temples too. At the peak of our activities the worship that took some 2 hours and the charity that reached out to those on the streets, in the orphanages and old folks homes, and the poor and needy struggling to survive in their homes took a turn with the worship over in a jiffy and the charity coming to an end giving way to more time for us to sit in contemplation of the divine energies that had now shifted from the temples and statues to within our homes. Soon these energies ran through us. What was felt originally in the temples was later felt in our homes and finally traversed within us. We had connected with the divine energy. The divine moved in each of us. We connected with the buddha within. We became tiny specks of the larger flame. 

Coming to the Siddha Path

SEEKING GRACE & BLISS

All my reading, home puja, and yogic practice of some 8 years were not fruitful until I had the grace of the Guru, the Siddhas, and the deities. Their grace came about only after I began to carry out the rituals and puja to the Siddhas. After my 14 years of expulsion or forced hibernation from all forms of puja and reading, my mind was cleared of all the previously acquired knowledge and practice. Agathiyar in a most mysterious way passes me the Vasudeva mantra to recite and a painting of Lord Dhakshanamurthi to worship. The former cleared the knots and blockages and prepared the vessel, and the later prepared me to meet my guru in physical form. I was brought to read my Nadi where I learned about karma. I left on a pilgrimage to temples. My guru led me on a pilgrimage of a different sort to caves and jungles later. He introduced Kriyai or rituals and Yogam and coaxed us to seek Gnanam. Agathiyar in leading us into Gnanam wants us to go within and experience the Atma the storehouse of bliss or Anandamaya Kosam.

The salvation of the Atma or Soul is only possible with the grace of the divine. The divine has to come to get us out of this rut or Maya. The Paramatma comes to redeem the Jeevatma that hid behind the veil once the "I" came into being. The "I" can only be trashed by the guru and his words and ways. Hence I have come to realize that one needs a series of events to take place to awaken the "I" to realize that he is divine in nature and that his Atma has gone into hiding because of his arrogance in thinking that he is the doer. In puja, we submit to the holy feet of the Lord and surrender. In surrendering we keep reminding ourselves that it is all his doing. This submission of ours opens the gates to his grace. His grace flows into us and floods us sweeping away all the rubbish, foul smell, stagnated waters, and dirty water hence cleansing every pore and cell in our body. Each cell reverberates with his energy. The body becomes divine in nature. 

The nature of the divine and the guru is compassion and love. When we tend to judge others as worthy or otherwise of their grace by our standards, the divine accepts everyone under its folds. The good, the bad, and the ugly. That is the nature of the divine and guru. This was made known to us over the weekend. Hence I realize now why Tavayogi sat with people from all walks of life entertaining them at his ashram.  Hence I understand why God saw people from all walks of life at his temple. The guru is both the rose and the thorn. He spreads his teachings as the rose emits its smell. He comes as a thorn to remove the thorn in us. After cleansing and fortifying our physical body he is now working on our thoughts. The Siddhas brought us to the realization that we are not the Annamaya Kosa. You need the energy to move a thing. The prana and Pranamaya Kosa is the energy body that moves the physical. So what is this "I"? Is it the physical body or the Pranayama Kosa? Or are we a culmination of both? We cannot possibly be the body or the energy alone for we have a mind that thinks and drives the energy to move the body. So are we then the Manomaya Kosa? But wait a minute! We realize that there is someone driving our thoughts, driving us to think, analyze, judge, and opine. So are we the Vignanamaya Kosa then? Does this gnanam drive our thoughts? Then why is not everyone a gnani? 

We are told that we are by nature a buddha or divine. We are the Atma, pure in nature. The Atma is only seen to be separate from the Paramatma when it leaves the home to stay with the Annamaya Kosa and Pranamaya Kosa momentarily just as a teen is eager to move out of his parents home to gain his own experiences and supposedly be free. As Tavayogi says we need the body to know the breath, and we check the breath to ascertain if there is life in the body, both Annamaya and Pranayama Kosas are essential to exist and for survival. This is the state of plants and animals. Man has an added faculty that of the Manomaya Kosa to think. He is then gifted with the Arivu or intelligence that is the Vignanamaya Kosa so that he makes wise decisions. The wisdom in him leads him to know his Atma that is forever in a state of bliss in the Ananadamaya Kosa.  

This body is lifeless without the energy derived from prana in food, water, and sunlight. This body is lifeless without the energy of the Pranayama Kosa. This body is lifeless without the Manomaya Kosa too. We turn into idiots without the Vignanamaya Kosa. 

Finally, all the experience gained through this composite body of 4 Kosas leads us to joy when it connects with the pleasures derived from the sense organs and bliss when it connects with the divine experiences. We become drenched in bliss. That sheath of bliss is Anandamaya Kosa. 

LET US WATCH A SHORT FILM

I had a dream to make movies back then as a teen. I used to watch every movie shown in the theatres and read up on it. My family would come to me for a review before deciding to watch it. But over time I realized that I did not want to be at the mercy of the weather, stars, and the crew. I dropped my desire. I continued drawing and painting instead. This too I wanted to take up as a profession but back then there was no prospect in this field. Just as Sophie's father questions Jay in "99 Songs" if his passion for music was going to feed him, bring food to the table, I continued it as a hobby instead. I finally settled for engineering. I have no regrets as I enjoyed my work till I retired six years ago. 

Then with the coming of my guru and me traveling to India for the first time, I brought back still photographs of my travels with Tavayogi and my time with Supramania Swami. I made the first video that I posted to YouTube back then in 2005 after Tavayogi had seen, enjoyed, and approved it. But as it then carried a musical piece from sitarist Ravi Shanker's album, YouTube notified me of the infringement in copyright. I removed it. Now as we are allowed to use these music scores I had remade several videos carrying the original footage.

Today my second daughter has picked up this interest and pursues a Bachelor's Degree in Social Sciences (Media Communication). She made the following short film with her coursemates for her final assignment for the "Comparing Novels to Films" class at Ajou University in South Korea where she is doing an exchange program.

Following in the footsteps of her aunt is my 4-year-old granddaughter who recorded her sister on video having her repeat words.