Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal told me that I had come to the right place and invited me to journey with him, when I met him for the very first time in Malaysia in 2005. This excited me very much for I was searching to know more about the Siddhas and here he was opening his doors to me. Agathiyar in my first Nadi reading in 2002 had invited me to journey with him. I was hungry to know more about him and his journey. Tavayogi told me that I shall learn all there is to known. He asked that I bring my family over to his talk that evening and initiated me and my wife in the path. He reminded me that it was not enough that I came to the path, but I needed to bring the family too. He invited me over to his humble and modest ashram at the foot of the Kallar hills.
Following on his heels, I arrived at his ashram one late afternoon of 18 September 2005. Feeling welcomed and at home, he soon arranged for me to participate in feeding the natives living next to his ashram. That was to be my very first act of doing charity; my very first annadhanam. This would be the beginning of many more feeding sessions to come for me.
The natives who lived in thatched huts nearby, went on with their simple lives, collecting dried wood from the jungle and selling them. I was told, their daily income would be a mere 5 rupees. When there was sufficient finance to hold an Annadhanam, Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar who was then known as Mrs Sarojini would be summoned over from her village to cook. She would get the assistance of the local native ladies to prepare and cook the food. They would sent the word around that there was free food. It was a joy seeing their faces brighten up when they took the simple food that was served. There would only be rice, gravy and some cooked vegetable, but they received it with gratefulness and a broad smile on their faces.
Returning from Kallar my heart opened up to the unfortunate. I was very careful with my spending after returning from India. Each time I had an urge to buy something I translated it into rupees and thought how that money could help feed many in India. I eventually refrained from buying and spending unnecessarily. I began to do charity on an individual basis. My eyes began to look and search for the poor and hungry, where prior to the thought and change that Tavayogi brought in me, I would just walk pass a beggar without the least care and concern.
When I had many youngsters drop in at my home later, we took the cue from Sri Krishna, and extended a hand to this husband and wife team who were going about feeding many in the streets. We joined them in preparing, cooking and distributing the food to the homeless. This feeding spree led by Sri Krishna that we went on, was another eye opener for us. We had never seen so many homeless in one place, right in the center of the capital city. Here we saw the maimed, those without limbs, those in shreds and almost naked, the thin and sickly, the malnourished children, young and old thrown into the streets. They accepted our food with outreached hands and a gesture of gratitude. It melted our hearts and brought tears to our eyes.
Initially the volunteers got excited looking back on the growth of these handouts from the original 18 numbers that Sri Krishna prepared and cooked with his wife, and with many volunteers turning up at PTC, with the numbers of packed food gradually increasing to 50, 100, 200 and 500 at that time. Then a neighbour of Punjabi decent told us his son's team served 1000 people in a single night through their Langar team, we were taken aback and saddened at the increasing number of homeless. Looking back and reflecting on this, I began to realize and believe there is something drastically wrong with our society and the authorities when we see a drastic increase in these numbers.
By feeding the homeless are we encouraging more to arrive on the streets? Are we then encouraging more people to stay on the streets? Are they a lazy lot waiting to be fed? Are we the cause for these increase in number? Talking to them we realize that except for the mentally ill and immobilized, many take on odd jobs in the day and sleep on the streets by night. With their meager income they cannot possibly find a roof above them to rent in the city. Whatever little they earn they support the family back home. Many have lost their regular job overnight. Many were disposed off by their former employers for various reasons. Then there are many who come to town seeking jobs and have to stay on the streets till they find a job that would pay them enough to rent a space in the city. The latest to hit the news was that of a state footballer who had to make frequent trips to the city for medical reasons and had to sleep it out under the sky for even the hotels were costly. The reasons go on and on.
Amidst all these reasons, I was taken aback when I met a man who cheerfully told me that both his grandpa and father were on the streets and he grew up here too. He earns a daily wage clearing the trash from the eateries that he would use to buy himself some liquor and sleep it off. For meals he told us he looks forward to the numerous soup kitchens that frequent the streets distributing food all week long.
Then again we realized that when we target 1000 people and prepare the food, our prayer that goes out was towards asking Erai to send 1000 people to partake food. Now that should not be our prayer but instead we should ask that there be not even a single soul in the streets. They too deserve to have a job, shelter, clothing and food like us. When we prepare a 1000 our prayers tend to be, "Oh god let there be a 1000 people out there taking this food otherwise it would go to waste." As we are told that the thoughts shall materialize and manifest we are encouraging more to take to the streets for our intended and desired purpose.
Besides justifying our cause that the rental and meals are costly in the city, that a meal given by us would help lessen or relieve the cost in buying a meal for the day, Agathiyar and the saints too have constantly reminded us to continue feeding. Yes, they told us to feed - the truly hungry that walks up to you for food or riddled with disability looks up to for food. We have seen food stocked up by homeless only to be thrown away later. We do not yet know what happens to the surplus food that is prepared ahead in anticipation of large numbers and a large turnout of the hungry on the streets.
Again learning from experience, we at PTS began to get together and distribute buns and drinks to the homeless, something they could keep, eat and drink later too. But there was no true sense of satisfaction, for our role was only limited to distributing these food/drinks that we purchased. We wanted everyone to be more involved, right from the beginning to the end. We have since then had the PTS family start cooking small amounts of food in their homes bringing their families too to participate in purchasing, preparation and cooking. We then gather with others in our team and distribute these food and return home satisfied. Perarulalan has coined a name for this. We now call it Potluck Annadhanam.
We have widened our scope in doing charity by cooking or catering food and feeding those in shelter homes. We buy and supply monthly groceries for several poor families that we have identified too.
While many in their spiritual search shun society and kept aloft Agathiyar brought us to serve society. He showed us that the former was the way of Vedanta and the later that of Siddhanta.
It is interesting to read BV Narasimha Swami's "Self Realization - The Life and Teachings of Sri Ramana Maharshi", Sri Ramanasramam, 1985, where Bhagawan Ramana touches on this aspect of service to fellow mankind who were unfortunate. The author writes of Ramana, "While the tendency of spiritual aspirants has generally been to shun society, Maharshi was sympathetic with the present day ethics that stressed social service."
Ramana had mentioned that a man has to serve his society first before embarking on this journey of self discovery. When asked if one should go the path of solitude or service, Maharishi said beautifully that the path to solitude does not lie away from society but runs right through society. One has to serve society first before he can fall into a life of total surrender and be wholly absorbed in the self.
BV Narasimha Swami writes, "People who visit the ashram watch him stitching leafplates, cutting vegetables, too." Ramana just like Sri Ramakrishna led by example.
Contrary to common belief, Ramana tells us to drop the body only when it has served its purpose not a second sooner. It has to be looked after till the self is realized, a stern reminder given to me by Lord Muruga in his Jeeva Nadi. While Ramana's own live has induced many to leave their families and responsibility, quiting family life, he tells us that these were "a passing wind of disgust with society and social life."
He had admonished the dangers of becoming a recluse too soon. However exceptions were people like Natesa Mudaliar, Ramanathier, Yogi Ramiah, Suddhananda Bharati, writes BV Narasimha Swami.
It is said that one shall have Vairagya in his charts to become a true recluse. The position of the planets at the time of birth justifies whether one would turn out to become a saint, guru or recluse. The chart of such individuals reveal "an intimate link between the self and the spiritual houses" writes JN Bhasin in his book, "Events and Nativities Explained", Sagar Publications, New Delhi.
Having said that "Vairagya is the basis on which the whole edifice of spirituality stands", the author quotes from a translation of a verse by Adi Sankara in his "Vivekachudamani."
"The state of Samadhi is easy to people who have intense Vairagya or dispassion."
Sankara lists out the gradual progress into Samadhi clearly. Control of one's own mind leads to a state of Samadhi easily. Those who bring themselves to the state of Samadhi shall attain true knowledge. With true knowledge comes liberation. With liberation comes bliss.
Some of the charts of saints studied by the author are of that of Sri Ramakrishna, Bhagawan Ramana, Arvind Ghosh, Swami Yoganand, and Gautama Buddha.
Tavayogi led me on a pilgrimage to the Siddha spots, caves, temples and Samadis. As we began the travel, he turned to me and said with a sparkle in his eyes, "Today your real journey begins."
My journey had begun the day I read the Nadi for the very first time in Malaysia. I was alone on my spiritual travel till Agathiyar showed me a path, his path among the many I saw available out there. Rather than have me knock on each door, waste the time, and learn the hard way, he chose the path for me, foreseeing that it would suite my temperament and nature. Later Agathiyar tells me that the journey in fact had started many births before. He had come to redeem us to his path, to continue the journey that had ended abruptly before.
Why are we here? The spark from the source is here to be nurtured into the nature of Erai. My very first guru Supramania Swami lighted the spark in me. The soul that carries the memories of all the births taken is here to grow too into becoming divine. Tavayogi nurtured the soul. The body is taken in the image of Erai who came before us. Agathiyar took care of the body. This is not my journey I realized eventually. It is my soul's journey. It is my spirit's journey. It is Agathiyar's journey.
All learning starts and takes place here. All gurus arrive here to serve their students. It is said that even the Devas were schooled here, looking at the numerous Stala Puranams. Ramalinga Adigal too built the Satya Jnana Sabai in anticipation of the arrival of Lord Shiva who would then teach the Devas.
We come here with a baggage. We need to place it down. But sadly we carry it on our shoulders everywhere we go. We unload these to others and pick it up again only to unload it elsewhere failing to understand that no one is willing to take on this baggage. The day the shadow disappears is the day the baggage too leaves us. Entering the temple we unload the baggage again. Rather then leave it there, we leave the premises bringing the baggage back home again.
At ATM we have come to learn to "Leave the baggage outside" and sit in silent contemplation on the divine, spending some precious moments with Erai in his space. We then seize to exist. Only he is.