THE PORTAL

When I took my very first step to climb the stairs of Palani Andavar temple, I could not move my legs. They were heavy as stone. I could not understand. I was fit having tested my fitness level climbing the stairs at Batu Caves and Gua Tempurong (Tempurong Caves) prior to going to India. Eventually with the aid of both my hands, slowly lifting my feet and placing them on each rung of the stairs, I managed to climb Palani. Exhausted and drained of my energy, I dropped myself onto the floor at the summit and rested. After some time I made my way to the entrance of the temple, joining the existing queue. As I stepped into the inner chambers, I was confronted by a priest who asked if I wanted to do Archana and practically snatched the bag of goodies I had bought for Lord Muruga from my hands. He came back after some time and handed over my purchases plus a packet of sandalwood paste that he mentioned had adorned Lord Muruga's murthi. I began to leave the chambers not remembering having seen Lord Muruga. As I stepped into a dimly lit corridor, I realized that I was alone, the crowd before me and after me, were nowhere to be seen. Taking just a few steps I noticed an open doorway on my right and took a peek. A senior priest with another three young ones were in the rather small chamber. I asked the senior if it was Bhogar's samadhi. He nodded and lit the camphor tablets. He did a small prayer, explaining to me the objects of adoration that Bhogar had left behind. He pointed out an opening that supposedly houses the sage. It was exactly behind Lord Muruga's sannadhi! Taking a few minutes to sit in the divine room and presence of Bhogar, I picked myself up only to be confronted now by one of the young priest who held out a tumbler of milk, mentioning that it was abhisega milk or milk collected after the libation of the Lord. I drank it and walked out of the chamber. Nothing was spoken between us, only gestures made. The moment I stepped out into another corridor and into the open I was elevated to another mode, that of bliss. I was literally walking on air. I came round the temple grounds several times until the effect wore off. I seeked answers from Agathiyar on what had transpired there at Palani that day. He only gave me the answers some two years later.

I believe I had stepped into a portal to another space that day, since two years on when I was accompanied by Tavayogi and my brother, it was entirely a different space and environment from what I witnessed in 2003. This was further reinforced when I visited Palani in 2016 with the AVM family. Where did I land myself if not the twilight zone? Since then Palani has been a twilight zone, one of mystic and mystery.

The other time the walls and floor gave way as in the Dr Strange movie was when we lighted the Aganda Deepam in the Yaga Saalai at the Sri Mayuranathar Alayam/ Pamban Swamigal Thirukovil last year. When I, Bala and Mahin scouted the venue for a suitable place to light 108 ghee lamps and the main Aganda Deepam, we were shown the Yaga Saalai. It had been renovated recently and awaited painting works. The temple chairman gave us the green light and blessings to carry on. The only thing that troubled us was that we feared there would not be space to arrange all the lamps, space for performing the Yagam, space for performing abhisegam to all the murtys and also allow devotees to gather inside, away from the scorching heat of the day. We discussed our fears and were wondering how we were going to go about it as we traveled back.

As dawn broke out and we stepped into the Yaga Saalai all three of us looked at each other with surprise and amazement, voicing out that somehow the walls had retreated back giving us more space to conduct all our activities within one roof! Amazing!

We at ATM have again unknowingly opened up a portal to the other world now. We have had visitations from our gurus and saints. Amazing! But how is that possible? The switch was with prayers or puja to the siddhas. We discovered accidentally that we could make contact with the divine and the gurus in samadhi. How is that possible? Through the simple medium of performing puja to the siddhas.

Supramania Swami performed this feat when he brought his guru Yogi Ramsuratkumar from his samadhi to be with both me and him in prayer at his kudil adjacent to the Yogi's samadhi and ashram. Similarly Supramania Swami made his presence known at ATM after his samadhi too. Tavayogi has had visitations from Agathiyar too.

After hearing about the siddhas nadi from my colleague, amazed at the wonder on how a nadi reading from ancient writings in dried palm leaves carried all the information about the past, present and future of an individual, it lured me to seek the siddhas. I came to read the nadi too. It was truly amazing. I took heed of all that was told. The siddhas showered their grace and guided me on. Soon they had messages for my family members too. They brought me to the worship of the siddhas, something that was new. I began searching about the siddhas. They began revealing about themselves. They sent a physical guru on the path to take me on a personal tour of all their sites and places. It was marvelous. Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal initiated me and my wife. It was to be the start of a personal relationship with Erai that very instant, we were soon to find out. 

The siddhas got us to perform rituals and pujas and soon sent aspirants and potential devotees of theirs to our home to watch, witness and participate in the puja. We were given practical tasks and made to perform and put them into practice first, before they made us compare the experiences derived from these exceptional moments of devotion with those of other saints. I understood then the reason for Erai to stop me from reading books that drove me to question the very existence of Erai some 31 years ago. I have come to understand that if I had continued to read the numerous text and scriptures, I would have been disappointed and frustrated at not having achieved the results of my spiritual search and attempt at the numerous practices spelt out in the books. The Siddhas and Tavayogi brought us to engage instead in practical sessions of rituals and techniques that gave us new experiences and hyperlinked us to the abode of Erai. We became connected to the siddhas through the recitation of the numerous mantras given and chanting of their names. Today the songs in praise of the siddhas and Erai makes much sense as we begin to recognize and acknowledge the essence in these songs with real time experiences of ours. Now I understand pretty well that they wanted me to gain the experience first so that I could then, and only then, refer to the scriptures and books confirming my experience. 

Bhagawan Ramana tells us that he never read much except for the Periapuranam, his Bible lessons and bits of Tayumanavar or Tevaram. After attaining his divine state having gone through a tremendous transformation, he began reading and could associate with what was written. Bhagawan Ramana explains this transformation in BV Narasimha Swami's "Self Realization, The Life and Teachings of Sri Ramana Maharshi", Sri Ramanasramam, 1985.

Formerly I would go there (the temple of Meenakshi Sundareswara) rarely with friends, see the images put on sacred ashes and sacred vermilion on the forehead and return home without any perceptible emotion. After the awakening into the new life, I would go almost every evening to the temple. I would go alone and stand before Siva or Meenakshi or Nataraja or the sixty three saints for long periods. I would feel waves of emotion overcoming me. The former hold on the body had been given up by my spirit, since it ceased to cherish the idea 'I am the body'. The spirit therefore longed to have a fresh hold and hence the frequent visits to the temple and the overflow of the soul in profuse tears. This was God's play with the individual spirit. I would stand before Isvara, the controller of the universe and the destinies of all, the omniscient and omnipresent, and occasionally pray for the descent of his grace upon me so that my devotion might increase and become perpetual like that of the sixty three saints. Mostly I would not pray at all, but let the deep within flow on and into the deep without. Tears would mark this overflow of the soul and not betoken any particular feeling of pleasure or pain. I had no desire to avoid rebirth or seek release, to obtain dispassion or salvation... in the language of the books, I should describe my mental or spiritual condition after the awakening, as Suddha Manas or Vijnana, ie the intuition of the illumined.

As he mentions "in the language of the books", referring to having read these books later, Bhagawan Ramana found out certain resemblances of what he had gone through in the Ribhu Gita. 

Bhagavan's first attendant, Palaniswami, brought a copy to Bhagavan's attention while he was residing at the mango grove near Gurumurtham in 1898. Later in life Bhagavan related how surprised he was at the time to hear an exact description of his own state recited in the Ribhu Gita and that it had been experienced by others and was the bliss of the Self sought after by all true seekers.(Source: From the blog "An End to Suffering" at http://end-to-suffering.blogspot.com/2006/04/ribhu-gita-essence.html)

The blogger quotes Ramana's reaction to the numerous texts that was read to him, from B.V.Narasimha Swami's "Self-Realization. The Life and Teachings of Sri Ramana Maharshi", Sri Ramanasramam, 1985.

I had read no books other than Periapuranam, my Bible lessons and bits of Tayumanavar or Tevaram. My notion of God (or Isvara as I called the Infinite but Personal Diety) was similar to that found in the Puranas. I had not heard then of Brahman, samsara, etc. I had no idea that there was an Essence or Impersonal Real underlying everything, and that myself and Isvara were both identical with it. At Tiruvannamalai, as I listened to Ribhu Gita and other works, I picked up these facts and discovered that these books were analysing and naming what I had previously felt intuitively without analysis and name. In the language of the books, I could describe my mental or spiritual condition after awakening, as suddha manas or vijnana, i.e., the Intuition of the Illumined."

We are beginning to realize that the lines and verses from the songs of praise that we picked up and recited during our puja comes alive and serves to deliver its very essence. I had picked up Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar's prayer as mine and asked for a guru to take me along on this journey, that later brought me to Tavayogi and had him volunteer to take me to all the sacred abodes of the siddhas. 

அகத்தீசா உனது சீடர்களாகிய ஒன்பது கோடி பேரும் என்னை சூழ்ந்திருந்து நான் விரும்பியதெல்லாம் முடித்து வைப்பதோடு மட்டுமல்லாது உன்னுடைய மலையாகிய பொதிகைக்கு என்னை அழைத்துவர என்னை சீடனாக நீ ஏற்றுக்கொள்ள வேண்டும். நான் உய்வதற்கு அருள் புரிய வேண்டும். உனது அருள் பூரணமாக பெற்றல் வேண்டும்.

When Tavayogi took me to Agathiyar’s abodes, he would point out to me that the siddhas were ushering us, following us and showering us with flower petals. I would look back at him with bewildered eyes, yet choosing to belief and move on. Today we realize the truth in his words, since experience has taught us much.

Another line from a verse, a song in praise of Agathiyar, "வந்தித்தேன் உந்தன் பாதம் வானமுந் திறந்தாய் போற்றி", clearly extols the greatness of the worship and praises to the siddhas, something we have come to realize for ourselves too. Today Agathiyar has opened the gates to heaven and the saintly ones are coming in droves.

When someone who came over to ATM, then known as AVM, for the first time, asked us what we had gained through worship of the siddhas, we were stunned and asked ourselves if we needed a reason to pray? Could not one just conduct a puja without any intention and expecting any results as we have done all these years? Will they only do it if they are told of the gains they would reap from placing an effort in prayers or puja? Does the gesture of prayer need a reason for doing it? Does prayer have to have a vested interest, a hidden agenda? Does worship need to be a deal with Erai, as with all our daily moves?

Today we can proudly tell them that: the worship of the siddhas has brought us closer to Erai; that we have broken the code; and that we have the key to Erai's kingdom. We await the grace of Erai to let us in. Ramalinga Adigal proudly declared that he had access to Erai's secrets and his kingdom, that Erai gave him the staff of command for him to carry out Erai's work of creation, sustaining, destroying, veiling and blessing his creations - received as a result of his undeterred puja, as he sings in his Tiru Untiyar.

திரு உந்தியார்

இரவு விடிந்தது இணையடி வாய்த்த
பரவி மகிழ்ந்தேன் என்று உந்தீபற
பாலமுது உண்டேன் என்று உந்தீபற.

பொழுது விடிந்தது பொற்பதம் வாய்த்த
தொழுது மகிழ்ந்தேன் என்று உந்தீபற
தூயவன் ஆனேன் என்று உந்தீபற.

தூக்கம் தொலைந்தது சூரியன் தோன்றினன்
ஏக்கம் தவிர்ந்தேன் என்று உந்தீபற
இன்னமுது உண்டேன் என்று உந்தீபற.

துன்பம் தவிர்ந்தது தூக்கம் தொலைந்தது
இன்பம் கிடைத்ததென்று உந்தீபற
எண்ணம் பலித்ததென்று உந்தீபற.

ஞானம் உதித்தது நாதம் ஒலித்தது
தீனந் தவிர்ந்ததென்று உந்தீபற சிற்சபை கண்டேன் என்று உந்தீபற.

திரையற்று விட்டது செஞ்சுடர் தோன்றிற்று
பரைஒளி ஓங்கிற்றென்று உந்தீபற
பலித்தது பூசையென்று உந்தீபற.

உள்ளிருள் நீங்கிற்றுஎன் உள்ளொளி ஓங்கிற்றுத்
தெள்ளமுது உண்டேன் என்று உந்தீபற
தித்திக்க உண்டேன் என்று உந்தீபற.

எந்தையைக் கண்டேன் இடரெலாம் நீங்கினேன்சிந்தை மகிழ்ந்தேன் என்று உந்தீபற சித்திகள் பெற்றேன் என்று உந்தீபற.

தந்தையைக் கண்டேன்நான் சாகா வரம்பெற்றேன்
சிந்தை களித்தேன் என்று உந்தீபற
சித்தெலாம் வல்லேன் என்று உந்தீபற.

முத்தியைப் பெற்றேன்அம் முத்தியினால் ஞான
சித்தியை உற்றேன் என்று உந்தீபற
சித்தனும் ஆனேன் என்று உந்தீபற.

(Source:  http://www.thiruarutpa.org/thirumurai/v/T342/tm/thiru_unthiyaar)

Tavayogi crossed the seas to our shores to re-introduce the siddhas to us; to bring the worship of siddhas to us; to bring solace and peace to those struggling with life and to spread their teachings in the footsteps of his guru Chitramuthu Adigal and Paramaguru Jeganatha Swamigal. Before his samadhi he told us he shall rest in peace for he has witnessed the seeds he sowed in our soil, germinate and grow into the many wonderful souls at ATM. He had taught us the basics and allowed sufficient room for us to experiment, research and develop, enhance the neri and marga or path to suite the needs of the current Y and Z generation and to accommodate the needs of the local population. We at ATM have been trying to achieve this change in thought, perspective, ways and means, standards, practices, rituals, and beliefs. As if to concur with Tavayogi, Agathiyar, the siddhas and the saints are making their presence known and bless us to move on to greater heights.

We are deeply grateful to have been blessed with the arrival of Erai at our doorsteps. We can never thank Erai enough for his compassion and mercy on us. We look forward to the day when all at ATM can bring themselves to sit in the privacy and comfort of their homes and perform puja to the siddhas, inviting them into their homes and hearts. Let them too speak to Erai, have a conversation with the siddhas and communicate with the saints. That would be the day of high achievement for Agathiyar Tapovanam Malaysia (ATM).

And to think that it all started with a simple home puja or worship of the siddhas at our home. The path is simple let us not complicate it.