SECURING THE KNOT

It saddens me to see how people have used Agathiyar for their selfish purposes. Just as Supramania Swami told me many came to him for their purpose, and he would hand out advice, amulets, the sacred ash and chart their horoscopes, but none asked what he wanted in return. Similarly many come to Agathiyar asking their desires to be fulfilled but never even bothered to ask what he wanted. Today he has brought us to drop our asking and desires and instead wait in attendance to carry out his wishes, desires, commands, and directives.

Would not it be better if we could have him for a companion? Imagine Erai is our companion for life. Would not it be better if we shared out life and time with Erai? He is not asking us to entirely devote our time to him at the expense of our family but as Agathiyar told me to allocate equal time to both. 

Man needs to receive a knock to wake him up from his deep slumber. He has to be abruptly jolted out of his comfort zone to get him to notice Erai. The classic tale is that of a man who after taking a Nadi reading lightly and having ignored the advice of Agathiyar in the Nadi, desperately seeked a place where he could participate in the Purnima puja. Having contacted his friends he was finally referred to AVM. He called me and after asking who showed him to me, I called him over. As he was from a neighboring state I fetched him from the train station. He told me that he had seen the Nadi nine months ago in February of the year and he was told to participate in the Purnima puja before his 60th birthday. He came to AVM on the eve of his 60th birthday! After ignoring the call, now fear suddenly set in as he was about to turn 60 the next day. I invited him to participate in the Homa and Abhisega and gave him a meal before I sent him back to the station. I never heard from him nor his friends who recommended him to me, till a year later - a month ago. He called to ask if I knew a Nadi reader in India by a certain name. I guessed he had seen the Nadi again. I asked him if he was worshiping the Siddhas after participating in the Purnima puja a year back. He replied he would chant Arutperumjhothi mantra 9 times daily. I asked if that was sufficient? He replied he had no time. That blew my top. He was a pensioner and I could not accept that he did not have time to sit for a few hours daily in Siddha worship. What made me sick was that he had frequented another centre for Agathiyar worship many years ago. The reason he was there was that his son was diagnosed with an illness. When his son's condition improved he forgot Agathiyar. These are those occasional bhaktas who only look towards God and remember him when faced with trouble. I refused to talk to him further and ended the call in disgust.

Another young man in his thirties suddenly stood at my doorway one day. He asked if it was AVM. After coming in he told me that he was from another state. He had been aimlessly driving around the country visiting temples and places of worship after having deserted his family. Being an ex-jockey in Australia he was asked to retire after having a fall. Having gone through hell in the family he was contemplating and intended to settle into the life of a monk. He told me that he had already booked the flight after having cancelled it several times earlier.  He wanted to go over to Kallar to meet Tavayogi. I told him that Tavayogi has since passed away. He went into a state of shock. After a long moment of silence, I encouraged him to go over. He went to Kallar Ashram but came back in a couple of days. The pull of his karma that came in the form of his attachment to the family was too strong for him to battle. He had seen the Nadi earlier but sadly did not follow the advice of Agathiyar. I have not heard from him since.

Another man battled the rain and was going in circles trying to find my house. He participated in the puja with others. When I did not hear from him for a very long time, I called him. He answered "That's the way" (Athu Apadi Thaan.)

These occasional tourists and baktas really cheese me off. They can manipulate Erai for their purposes. They would bribe and make deals with him just to get what they wanted. They forget Erai when their asking is done. I would have expected them to hold on to the feet of Agathiyar when he has saved your life when he has granted your wishes. That is the biggest contribution or repayment one could ever give back to him. Many have been granted an extension in life, a bonus period to live thanks to others' prayers and his grace. But they return to their normal routine after coming back from the near-death experience. Of what use is it for Erai to give you back your soul if you are going to continue to live life as before? Should not you devote that extension period in your life in service to him and humanity, to carry out his wishes and desires? 

Today I have refused to see new aspirants and seekers. I have made my blog private. I have dropped many from ATM and AS Whatsapp group. Fearing that I might have erred in doing this, I always pray to him to continue to guide me in all my decisions. He came out totally in support of all my recent actions although some devotees of his, close and dear to him and me, asked me the reasons behind all these closures and appealed to let things be for the sake of many newcomers. I replied that we have to move on to greater and newer frontiers and face the challenges up ahead. We cannot afford to keep our door and our home open waiting for someone to pop up seeking solace or asking for guidance one day. I decided to pull the shutters down, shut the windows, draw the bridge up and start to sail. We are not going to wait for those not committed to the cause and have yet to book the pass or ticket. We are not going to wait for the onlookers and wayside seekers. We have gathered sufficient souls to serve Agathiyar and carry out his wishes. We have gathered sufficient steam to set sail. He has sent the cream of the lot. Numbers are not important to us, as Agathiyar said once "Even if there are only 4 to carry out my worship, I shall gladly accept your prayer." Initially, he had big plans for me, hinting that we establish a Peedham to conduct rituals and an establishment to preach his teachings and serve the poor. Lord Muruga came to remind me that he wanted a temple built, a request that was placed in my very first Nadi reading and often surfaced many times. He even sent Agathiyar to coax me into doing it. I took a firm stand that I was not interested in establishing any structure nor was I interested in having a following. Today granting my wishes he has dropped his wish asking me to stay put in my current place. If earlier he had mentioned that he would send many to ATM to participate in its festivities today taking heed of our displeasure he says everything will shrink, beginning with the rituals and the numbers of devotees. But he assured that the feeding programs shall grow.

It is so lovely to have Erai communicate with us, listening to us, understanding us, and granting as we please. The reason is that we stopped seeking him elsewhere. The reason is that we stopped asking for our needs but rather are living to carry out his asking. Contrary to common belief and all the hype that goes with the worship of the Siddhas, in actuality it is just a simple way of life; living a balanced life; enjoying life and at the same time spending some precious time in the company of the divine; after all our desires are exhausted we then are asked to turn our attention towards fulfilling his desires. When we rope in Erai into our lifes he fastens the knot so tight that both he and you can never separate - forever.