I would be doing an injustice to my readers who kept following my journey if I dropped a cliffhanger as I did in the last posting without revealing what took place over the two days of Karthigai Deepam. I had written in my last post that,
We have given so many forms and names to Agathiyar. This Karthigai Deepam has revealed his true form to us. After knowing his true form there is nothing further to write. Hence this brings an end to this epic of writing this blog. Thank you for following it, readers.
In fact, I had drafted an earlier post on December 13, a day before Agathiyar's revelation but somehow did not get to finish and post it. It goes as follows.
This is the final duel. You will face off with Maya, Mara, Satan, or whatever you want to label it. This is the battle between good and evil, light and darkness, compassion and hatred, calm and anger, and all the opposites. Our negative tendencies come to the surface when diving into the ocean to bring up the Amrita. They shall clothe our thinking, causing us to make mistakes and regret later. It is the moment to be truly aware of all spoken and done. Only total awareness of the moment shall keep us safe.
If until now the transformation was in the body, now we enter the phase where the mind is transformed. If earlier it was bodily aches and pains, and purging of impurities as in Vata, Pitta, and Kapha, which still is taking place, additional to this is the rather frightening phase of entering the mind and observing its workings, seeing it slowly alienate itself, and being a watcher, and listener. Everything is amplified in this state even the silence that has become deafening. Just like we are so very much connected with the mother in the womb that when we snap the umbilical cord, we come with an unknown fear of the world, when we are disconnected from the world we know, we enter a state of fear. As I draft this post I await Agathiyar to explain what is happening and how to react to these changes in the level of the mind.
Indeed he did come to our calling. To enter the next phase which is moving away from the body or Udal, mind or Manam, all knowledge gathered in multiple ways and from experiences Arivu, or Gnanam and reaching out further, he asked me to read Tavayogi's books. He asked me why I was afraid of death and consoled me saying that for it was yet another door to another journey. "How can a Siddha harbor this fear?", he asked. He asked me to recall Bhogar's answers to him as to what Bhogar knew. I repeated Bhogar's answers to Agathiyar in the way past that he only knew Agathiyar and nothing else. As I recounted the humbleness of Bhogar, a full-fletched Siddha who mastered many arts and sciences, Agathiyar revealed that I too needed to drop the Ego that I became identified with. He asked me how long do I want to remain as Shanmugam Avadaiyappa? I needed to drop this identity that was holding me back causing a separateness between me and others and everything else. He revealed that he was in this Oneness. He has brought us to Bhagawan Ramana's teachings. Ramana never initiated anyone as he saw everyone as himself. I guess this is the reason that Agathiyar reversed his initial offer of making me a guru and instead offered to make me a Siddha. To enter this Oneness, I needed to observe Maunam or Silence. Finally hugging me Agathiyar whispered in my ears that he was this Silence.
He reminded me of Lord Dhakshanamurthy's last act to uplift his four students to become on par with him. When the Lord chose to remain silent, not taking on and answering any further questions henceforth, all his students became enlightened the very next moment. Hence he revealed why he kept silent and never came to us since 22 September. Though he did not appear before us he was with us he said. In saying thus he tells us to carry out whatever needs to be done and he shall endorse them, bringing us away from our habit of waiting to be told what to do or securing his approval on all matters.
Bringing me to the path through a calling in my very first Nadi reading in 2002, bringing Tavayogi over to teach me Yoga in 2007, bringing youths to participate in my home puja in 2013 and having us carry out charity, and bringing it all to an end in 2019, having me go within, to help me work on my first two Chakras that had been unknowingly activated by the Yoga practice, in 2022 he has this energy travel through the rest of my Chakras and reside in the Sahasrara. He tells me there was nothing further to do and do nothing for the energy shall do its work. Now he asked me to be silent.
Bringing us to worship him as a Mantra, and giving form to this Mantra as in the paintings and statues of him after my first initiation, Tavayogi told me that he was the very breath or Vaasi during my second initiation. He later shared his experience of having seen Agathiyar as Light in the Kallar hills. Agathiyar told me that during my travels with Tavayogi, he had come as light in the eyes of his granite statue at Agasthiyampalli and Papanasam. Finally, Agathiyar tells me that he was the very Silence that prevails beneath all the rubble and noise. So he banished my fear of this silence for it was him too.
Tavayogi's books in PDF are made available on this blog in the "View Web Version" option on your phones.
