The guru brings on the grace of his guru, the Paramaguru, and the entire lineage of gurus before him. Swami Kripananda, in the introduction to Swami Muktananda's "Kundalini - The Secret of Life," writes,
"Because he has merged his individual awareness into the divine, the guru can serve as a pure vessel through which its pure energy flows. It is this transmission of divine energy which awakens and guides the Kundalini."
We learn that it is not the guru in physical form that matters but the Guru Principle, as Swami Kripananda says of the principle of grace which had been clothed in a guru's physical form for years and which can be embodied in another.
If Tavayogi took me on a journey visiting jungles and caves, that, for a city boy who only knew temple worship, was super uplifting; in showing me Yogic postures and breathing exercises, he had me travel within, which was equally super uplifting. If in the former he connected me with the Prana and the Prapanjam, in the latter he had me bring both within my body.
Coming in a Nadi reading, Agathiyar told me it was a treasure that I had received from my guru. That treasure I received aroused and awakened the dormant creative force, the Kundalini, in me. If Tavayogi gave me several Yogic techniques to carry out that opened the Muladhara and awakened the Kundalini, Agathiyar supplemented that with Siddha medicines, Kaya Kalpam, to consume, which helped strengthen the body. Agathiyar kept giving me regular updates like Microsoft's Patch Tuesday fixes. The awakened Kundalini Sakti purified the chakras further.
After I was shown the Asanas and Pranayama techniques by Tavayogi in 2007, Kundalini started her journey heading back home, without my knowledge, until the Siddhas came one after another in the Nadi and revealed and spoke about her. I compiled all the short notes that I began to take down after each experience, which I had shared in numerous posts scattered all over this blog for easy reference, into a journal of changes that took place over the years for readers and me. It was with much hesitation that I began to openly write about the rising of Kundalini within me, and only after Agathiyar asked me to share about the changes that took place in me.
The Kundalini has always been shrouded in mystery and treated as being dangerous if once awakened. We have heard and read about the Kundalini gone wrong many times. So we understand why the masters caution us about awakening her without proper techniques and supervision. She is not a play toy to be toyed with. A guru who has been there and back to relay and share has to be on hand to constantly monitor and supervise his student during this period of upheaval. The transmission cannot be one of touch-and-go and leave the student to find his way, the hard way. Nevertheless, it has to be awakened if one wants to head back to where he came from and to settle in his or her original state of being, that is, Light.
When masters shun to talk about it, even to their followers, Tavayogi too, who kept it close to his heart, finally, in his final discourse to a handful from the AVM family who had gathered at the event "An Evening with Tavayogi in Malaysia" in 2016, spoke on it briefly.
Though I had come onto the path late in life at the age of 43, after taking up their worship, rituals, and Yoga, the flowering began as I stepped into my 63rd year. I am now 67. Agathiyar tells me that we shall go through much misery if it happens after 60. But the most compassionate father and guru did not postpone it to another time and another birth, but tried his very best to see to it that I was not hurt and not in any danger. He comforted me when I was in pain and distress.
Kundalini has become a household word these days. What was once feared is taught and aroused to the masses in assemblies, without considering how long both master and disciple have known each other, or whether preliminary rounds of preparations to contain the energies were meted out, or if the health conditions of the receivers and age factors were taken into consideration. An advert calls for the public to walk in to receive tons of benefits, while another says to drive in as if these are collectibles. Indeed, another advertises and takes pride in the number of initiations one receives, akin to pinning the awards received on our chest. Tavayogi never wanted to touch that subject nor initiate the public into this energy. But although he never initiated us into arousing the Kundalini directly in whatever manner, select yogic postures and practices that he taught a handful of us during his visit in 2007 did their magic in me, as Agathiyar later revealed, bringing me to experience it unknowingly over the years. He surprised me in a Nadi reading on 13.10.2007, mentioning that the Siddhas were delighted to see the Kundalini Sakti arise.
Agathiyar opened the Muladhara and awoke the sleeping serpent in 2007. It then stalled and ponded at the Svadishtana. It took some 16 years to manifest. I went through the process where my body was rid of the impurities that I had gathered within all those years. Agathiyar had me take his Agathiyar Kuzhambu and had Siddha Physician Ariwananthen Aiya prepare another of his herbal cleansing formulas to consume. Agathiyar worked hard on preparing my body for the eventual opening of each chakra as the Sakti traveled along them and reigned. I was having bodily pain and a terrible headache. But Agathiyar taught me to ignore them. It was not an energy crisis but rather an excess of it, again a result of the internal changes taking place. I threw up bile and phlegm. Vata too was being expelled. The body periodically cleared the excess Doshas.
Reminding me how he had to go through it the tough way, Agathiyar told me that he had made it so simple for me that he could not simplify the process further. Tavayogi too quipped that I had come to the path quite easily compared with the rough journey he had. So it is only justified that Agathiyar should get sore with me each time I lose my temper and get angry, for he feared these energies would fall back into the lower regions.
With the Muladhara opened and Kundalini awakened in 2007, the energy stagnated at the next chakra, the Svadhisthana, for some 16 years. There is no specific path or written rule for this energy to travel and traverse once aroused from its slumber. The Yogic practice did help me, though I had no idea it was the reason I went through some 2 1/2 years of lower back pain until Agathiyar revealed it in 2012. He halted all forms of practice, giving me time to recover.
I had my fair share of pain that obstructed my mobility to a certain extent, which I had to bear for some 2 1/2 years. There was a time when I spontaneously twisted my torso as a snake would, writhing in pain. I had collapsed a couple of times upon waking up to go to the toilet. I picked myself up each time. Then, when I dropped onto the floor, outside the toilet, it scared the wits out of my family members, who were awakened by the sound of my fall. They stood watching in terror as my body twisted, writhing like a snake in pain. But it was joyful and pleasurable the same. Later, Agathiyar came and told me that when the Kundalini arises, it would exhibit the movements of a snake. Agathiyar later told me the pain itself was bliss. He explained what had taken place in me and gave me some herbal remedies to consume after I had exhausted all other means of relief. My stools changed in appearance and texture each time I excreted, at times rubbery, and sometimes oily; at other times as pebbles; or forming thin strips like DNA; sometimes light and floating, and at other times dark and sinking. Sorry to mention this here, but since our excretion shows the state of our health, and stool was a way to identify illness and the state of our being and insides in the days of the past, both by medical and Siddha practitioners. I was finally relieved of the pain as the physiotherapist asked me to carry out the exercise before her that she had shown me earlier. After he took stock of my situation, where I suffered for some 2 1/2 years in pain, Agathiyar had me drop my Yoga practices, too.
When the pain reappeared again in 2018, Lord Muruga explained the process of healing by having the Nadi reader read, and simultaneously came through a devotee and used peacock feathers to fan my body to the accompaniment of the Arutperunjothi mantra that he had those gathered chant and energize the glass of water which he had me drink. I was healed.
On 30.1. 2020, Agathiyar told me that I had stagnated in my worldly affairs. Agathiyar told me, "Currently, your Muladhara and Svadhisthana are open. At present, your breath is at the pond (lake). The time of its opening is near. Now is the right time to start your practice. This would open up the chakra completely." The most compassionate told me, "You cannot possibly break the shackle alone. Hence, follow the practices that I am to give you."
Only on 22 August 2022 did he open up the gates to the Sushumna Nadi and allow the serpent access to the higher chakras. It began as a swirl in the abdomen that rose to spin in the crown, but with a lesser intensity. I realized that it was more of a flowering, a flower blossoming or budding or opening up. Soon it spread, extending to envelop the forehead and back of my head too. It then dripped as if the ice were melting. It was blissful. I began to bathe in bliss.
He broke the banks on 22 August 2022 and released the energy that had stagnated and pooled to continue its journey further, by its sheer momentum and flow, without any effort on my part. I felt a pull of a nerve and a tug right below the navel immediately upon waking up and stretching myself in bed at 6.40 am. It brought on a swirling sensation followed by a chill all over. My whole body became numb right down to the tips of my fingers and toes, but it was blissful. Soon I felt nauseous and had the urge to urinate. I collapsed twice on the way to the toilet, picking myself up each time. Back from the toilet, all was fine.
The next day, I woke up at 7.20 am, to urinate, but I could not. I collapsed again. I picked myself up and climbed onto the bed. My body became numb and lifeless from the shoulders down. I lay like a dead log on my bed. Although I could not move even an inch of my torso, I was able to see, hear, and talk, and was aware of what was happening to me. I asked myself if this was what a dead body would feel like. Taking a cue from Lord Muruga, who came through a devotee to bring relief to my back pain by stroking it with peacock feathers earlier in 2018, I called my wife, asking her to bring the peacock feathers over. She stroked my body with them. Soon it subsided and went away.
Seeking answers to what had taken place, Agathiyar came through a devotee and cleared the air later. He told me not to worry and said that the ponded water had been released. If previously, he had told me that energy had stagnated, which I understood as being at the Svathisthana; it was then released, and the energies continued their journey further, by their sheer momentum and flow, without any effort on my part. But he warned me that I have to maintain it at the crown of the head and never do anything that jeopardizes this state; otherwise, it shall fall back to the Muladhara. He says it then shall be a wasted effort on the part of the Siddhas to assist these energies to move to higher chakras. If that happened, Agathiyar says that he shall have to reprimand me. This was a stern warning from him. When I asked him if there were further Yoga practices to carry out, and what I should do, he told me there was nothing for me to do further. "She shall do her work," he replied.
The swirling that happened in my navel over the two consecutive days, which was later felt in the crown, was later felt in the base chakra for several days. It made me expel bile, phlegm, and wind just moments ago.
As their grace deepened, a slight throb was felt at the crown of the head, at exactly the anterior fontanel, or the soft spot located in newborns. The throbbing nudged me to take notice of it and become aware. This sensation came on on its own, pulling me to sit. I felt the pull of this energy that was so obvious on the top of my head and that drew my attention to it. It brought my breath, then flowing freely, to caress the spot. I could do nothing else initially at those moments. It went on as I went on with my already limited daily activities. At other times, it came on the moment I brought either my attention, thought, or breath to it. Then it kept working in me as I carried on with my work.
The breath started to determine when I should sit and contemplate. It drove me to sit whenever I had a sensation come over in the crown of my head. I realized that I could connect with the sensation in the crown of my head by merely bringing my thought to that spot. Besides this, it went on as I moved about doing my now limited chores during the day. Rather than me being aware of it, I felt that it was watching me continuously.
The breath was felt wide and large at the nostrils. The breath comes to be still on its own at times. Everything sounded loud. Everything was extremely colorful. I could sniff everything out. I could distinguish flavors. Even the hairs on the skin tickled. The senses became enhanced and heightened, allowing better absorption of sights, smells, hearing, touch, and taste. The enjoyment derived from worldly affairs - let it be in watching, reading, breathing, hearing, listening, touching, eating, tasting, and in sex too - went deep, touching another level, into the cellular level, previously not known. The breath travelled within, reaching the inner confines and every nook and cranny of the body, right to the cells, bringing on a fantastic sensation or Unarvu and creating a vibration or Athirvu. That was the realization of God. When the breath, accustomed to switching nostrils every two hours, begins to travel in the Sushumna rather than either the Ida or Pingala, that is completeness, or Puranam, in breathing. That was realization of God. Tavayogi told me once that breath or Vaasi, was God.
Similarly, it was in taking food: the whole body, right down to the cells, savored the food, or rather the Prana in the food. This resulted in my hunger and appetite being satisfied after only a few mouthfuls. I became the odd one out as I sat in silence, enjoying the food that gave me thrills running throughout my body while others engaged in conversations over dinner. It is said that Agathiyar feeds the elements that reside in the body each time he cooks and serves food to others.
So was it with listening and hearing. The songs that I have listened to all these years came alive, bringing tears to my eyes. Watching movies too made me shed tears and become emotional. When Gowri Arumugam and her husband decided to stream their walkaround at Tavayogi's Kallar Ashram, I could sense the energies at the ashram in Kallar in my living room in Malaysia.
The world around me appeared much brighter and more colorful in all its brilliant colors. It made me appreciate the work of the divine more.
In teaching me the Yoga asanas, Tavayogi told me that some of those postures would improve sexual life. With erections that lasted long, sex hit a high, touching the state of ecstasy.
The sense of touch was enhanced, especially in hugging others. My skin sensed the Prana all around, especially when the wind or breeze blew, during the cold rain showers, or in just standing in the warmth of the morning sun, or in touching the greenery, or in looking at the flowers bloom and butterflies fly. I connected and merged with the Prapanjam in those moments.
I am grateful to Tavayogi for showing me Agathiyar and not projecting himself. Since the day Tavayogi stepped aside and showed me to Agathiyar, Agathiyar took charge and held the reins. Even Lord Muruga backed off, telling me that he shall leave it to Agathiyar to look into my every need. We are glad that Agathiyar was on hand and had a hand in awakening this super force in us without having to go through much pain and trouble. Just as he told me that he had made it so simple that he could not simplify the process further, reminding me how he had to go through it the tough way, so did Tavayogi quip that I had come to the path quite easily compared with the rough journey he had. I am indeed blessed. I am deeply grateful to them. It was all possible by their grace. As I was practically "crippled" in 2011 and 2018, the divine made sure I received aid and assistance in good time. Many wonderful souls contributed their ever-vast knowledge and years of training in bringing relief to me.
- T.Ramesh Aiya, who read my Nadi 61 times to date, looked into the Nadi for relief from my back pain without the need for me to go over;
- His guru, Taranibalan Aiya, brought the Nadi to my home and read it, bringing Lord Murugan along, on hearing that I was in pain;
- Sri Krishna and his wife who drove him down in the pouring rain that eventful day;
- Masters Arunan and Master Uvaraj, exponents of Varma, energy healing and yoga, rushed to treat me;
- Balamurugan, a Chartered accountant and former regional manager turned Siddha physician, came over to my home with his ointments and massaged me, besides treating me through the art of Varma;
- Saravanan Palanisamy brought me the ointments and herbal preparations mentioned by Agathiyar in the Nadi and that Siddha physician Arivananthan Aiya of the Arulguru Aghathiyar Arulsiddar Peedam prepared willingly;
- Shanga, a former trainer at a gym, came over to guide me on simple exercises that brought much relief;
- Dr. Janar came over and gave me an injection right at the spot of the pain, which brought instantaneous joy and relief; and
- Mahindren, in whom the divine worked, brought me the divine messages to treat me.
The Gods too showered their grace, compassion, and kindness on this insignificant soul. Of course, I am indebted to my gurus Supramania Swami and Tavayogi, who constantly kept watch over me, my health, and my progress; Agathiyar, who consoled me and gave me prescriptions in the Nadi; Dhanvantri, who came for my sake too; and, of course, Lord Muruga, who came to complete the treatment. What have I done to deserve these blessings? How do I repay their kindness? I am indebted to all these good souls and the divine.
How do we gain their grace then? By being a good student of theirs and following all their dictates. This is the basis for all guru-disciple relationships. A bond has to be cemented that survives the onslaughts of space and time. Then, even if the master has left his mortal frame, he keeps guiding and monitoring us till we join ranks with them.
Please do not get initiated into Kundalini yoga by any Tom, Dick, and Harry or during mass activation. Find a guru and follow him for twelve years. Establish a bond with the guru during these years. There is no systematic procedure or standard operating procedure in that sense. Just as Tavayogi often gives the analogy of preparing the field for the Siddhas to plant the seed in us, the Siddhas prepare us too. That is the reason the guru comes to help us prepare the ground so that he can sow his seed later.
A word of caution. Do not head straight into this practice without a guru in the physical form to monitor our progress. In the absence of a guru, take hold of the Siddhas by carrying out worship to them. They shall come as the guru in any form and guide us further. As for me, after coming into my life, Tavayogi had me carry out Puja, singing the praise of the Siddhas as in Sariyai, which had them turn to look at us and win their grace. Teaching us the rituals, as in Kriyai, he helped us bring the Siddhas down to walk among us. Giving us certain Asanas and Pranayama techniques, Tavayogi brought us to Yogam that opened up the doors and awakened Kundalini. Come to her only if you want to reach out to her and return home. Otherwise, stay away.
Though Tavayogi never gave a hint about what to expect if we put into practice the Asanas and Pranayama techniques that he showed us on his visit to Malaysia in 2007, it triggered the dormant energy that came to lie asleep after doing its job of creating this body and its accessories. I soon learned that when this energy begins to traverse through our body as a result of the Yoga practices, various behaviors and feelings could arise: negativity and anger; laughter or crying; etc., all happening spontaneously. The pent-up anger and emotions are expelled from the system, too.
Though he gave us this wonderful tool, method, way, practice, and technique that Agathiyar says was a treasure, none of the few who were present to watch him show us continued the legacy. They had missed a chance of a lifetime. It is not every day that a guru or master comes to give us a treasure.
What this practice did was to bring in excessive Prana within each breath, expanding the capacity of the lungs that were used to sedentary living, never pushed to their limit. This was the very first and obvious difference that was noticed. Soon, many transformations took place in the physical body and its internals. Later, subtle energies were released once the house was cleared of its impurities. This energy, Shakti, created both pain and bliss as it made its way up on its path with eagerness to join with her lifetime mate, Shivam, whom she left to start a new home in each one of us. Now that we are in her clutches, she brings us to know her soulmate. We are one once more.
Just as Swami Kripananda, who wrote the introduction for Swami Muktananda's "Kundalini - The Secret of Life", says,
"This knowledge (of the Kundalini) was so well hidden, in fact, that when Swami Muktananda received Kundalini awakening from his own master Bhagawan Nityananda and began experiencing its effects, he had no idea what was happening to him. He wrote his first great work, the spiritual autobiography "Play of Consciousness," to prevent his own students from running into the same confusion and to help them understand the process unfolding within them."
when I picked up the practice from Tavayogi, I had no idea what was happening to me. Just as Tavayogi told me, our efforts are only until we reach Svadhistana, and the guru shall lead us on from there; Agathiyar came to reveal it all and gave me a hand. After having these experiences, Agathiyar asked that I write about them so that readers would know what to expect when walking the path of internal transformation towards the goal of attaining Light or Jothi. I leave it to Agathiyar to decide if I qualify and shall make it, as both my gurus, Supramania Swami and Tavayogi, say, whether we attain the state of Light is immaterial for now, but at least we are working towards it and shall come back again if we fail in this life. One who arrives at his center becomes total, says Agathiyar. He calls this the state of Completeness or Paripuranam. This and the state of Purity, or Punitan, are two prerequisites and qualifications to join their fold or Tirukootam. I guess this will do for now.
Many devotees and followers who become comfortable with a guru are lost the moment the guru decides to leave. Trouble also brews in the movements, Peedhams, and Ashrams that these gurus initiated and built. To avoid all these dilemmas that become obstacles to the practitioner, left in a quandary after the passing away of the guru, which impedes one's spiritual advancement, Tavayogi had me hold to Agathiyar and worship the Siddhas instead, rather than have me dependent on him. I wonder what I would have done upon him attaining Samadhi, if Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal were not there to help me further my journey into what would have been unfamiliar terrain and grounds and uncharted territories. I am grateful to Tavayogi and indebted to him for showing me to Agathiyar instead. Just as Lord Muruga showed me to Agathiyar. I guess I have no one else except Agathiyar now. I either do or die with him.
Just as Agathiyar told us that they only shared with us whatever worked out for them, I too have shared what I had experienced. These were then verified with the experiences of masters, which I shall share in the next posts as References, for Tavayogi always says that whatever is said or written should have references.