The guru brings on the grace of his guru, the Paramaguru, and the entire lineage of gurus before him. Swami Kripananda writes
"Because he has merged his individual awareness into the divine, the guru can serve as a pure vessel through which its pure energy flows. It is this transmission of divine energy which awakens and guides the Kundalini."
We learn that it is not the guru in physical form that matters but the Guru Principle, as Swami Kripananda says of the principle of grace which had been clothed in a guru's physical form for years and which can be embodied in another.
If Tavayogi took me on a journey visiting jungles and caves, that, for a city boy who only knew temple worship, was super uplifting; in showing me Yogic postures and breathing exercises, he had me travel within, which was equally super uplifting. If in the former he connected me with the Prana and the Prapanjam, in the latter he had me bring both within my body.
If Tavayogi gave me several Yogic techniques to carry out that opened the Muladhara and awakened the Kundalini, Agathiyar supplemented that with Siddha medicines to consume that helped strengthen the body. The awakened Kundalini Sakti, purified it further.
After I was shown the Asanas and Pranayama techniques by Tavayogi in 2007, without my knowledge, Kundalini started her journey heading back home, until the Siddhas came one after another in the Nadi and revealed and spoke about her. I compiled all the short notes that I began to take down after each experience, which I had shared in numerous posts scattered all over this blog for easy reference, into a journal of changes that took place over the years for readers and me. It was with much hesitation that I began to openly write about the rising of Kundalini within me, and only after Agathiyar asked me to share about the changes that took place in me.
The Kundalini has always been shrouded in mystery and ticked off as being dangerous if once awakened. We have heard and read about the Kundalini gone wrong many times. So we understand why the masters caution us about awakening her without proper supervision and techniques. She is not a play toy to be toyed with. A guru who has been there and back to relay and share has to be on hand to constantly monitor and supervise his student during this period of upheaval. The transmission cannot be one of touch-and-go and leave the student to find his way, the hard way. But it has to be awakened if one wants to head back to where he came from and to settle in his or her original state of being, that is, Light.
When masters shun to talk about it, even to their followers, Tavayogi too, who kept it close to his heart, finally, in his final discourse to a handful from the AVM family who had gathered at the event "An Evening with Tavayogi in Malaysia" in 2016, spoke on it briefly.
Though I had come onto the path late in life at the age of 43, after taking up their worship, rituals, and Yoga, the flowering began as I stepped into my 63rd year. I am now 67. Agathiyar tells me that we shall go through much misery if it happens after 60. But the most compassionate father and guru did not postpone it to another time and another birth, but tried his very best to see to it that I was not hurt and not in any danger. He comforted me when I was in pain and distress.
He opened the Muladhara and awoke the sleeping serpent in 2007. It then stalled and ponded at the Svadishtana. It took some 16 years to manifest. Only on 22 August 2022 did he open up the gates to the Sushumna Nadi and allow the serpent access to the higher chakras. It began as a swirl in the abdomen that rose to spin in the crown, but with a lesser intensity. I realized that it was more of a flowering, a flower blossoming or budding or opening up. Soon it spread, extending to envelop the forehead and back of my head too. It then dripped as if the ice were melting. It was blissful. I began to bathe in bliss.
As their grace deepened, a slight throb was felt at the crown of the head, at exactly the anterior fontanel, or the soft spot located in newborns. The throbbing nudged me to take notice of it and become aware. This sensation comes on the moment I bring either my attention, thought, or breath to it. Or at other times it came on on its own, pulling me to sit or kept working in me as I carried on with my work. Indeed, I felt the pull of this energy that was so obvious on the top of my head and that drew my attention to it and brought my breath, flowing freely, to caress the spot. I could do nothing else initially at those moments. It went on as I went on with my limited daily activities. I went through the process where my body was rid of the impurities that I had gathered within for the past 67 years. He had me take his Agathiyar Kuzhambu and had Siddha Physician Ariwananthen Aiya prepare another of his herbal cleansing formulas to consume. Agathiyar worked hard on preparing my body for the eventual Shakti to be transmitted. Reminding me how he had to go through it the tough way, Agathiyar told me that he had made it so simple for me that he could not simplify the process further. Tavayogi too quipped that I had come to the path quite easily compared with the rough journey he had. So it is only justified that he should get sore with me each time I lose my temper and get angry, for he feared these energies would fall back into the lower regions. After he took stock of my situation, where I suffered some 2 1/2 years in pain, Agathiyar had me drop my Yoga practices, too.
Kundalini has become a household word these days. What was once feared is taught and aroused to the masses in assemblies. An advert calls for the public to walk in to receive tons of benefits, while another says to drive in as if these are collectibles. Indeed, another advertises and takes pride in the number of initiations one receives, akin to pinning the awards received on our chest. Tavayogi never wanted to touch that subject nor initiate the public into this energy. But although he never initiated us into arousing the Kundalini directly in whatever manner, select yogic postures and practices that he taught a handful of us during his visit in 2007 did their magic in me, bringing me to experience it unknowingly over the years. Agathiyar later revealed that the techniques we picked up from Tavayogi, and with practice, did just that over time. He surprised me in a Nadi reading on 13.10.2007, mentioning that the Siddhas were delighted to see the Kundalini Sakti arise.
With the Muladhara activated in 2007, the energy stagnated at the next chakra, the Svadisthana, for some 16 years. On 30.1. 2020, Agathiyar told me that I had stagnated in my worldly affairs. He told me, "You cannot possibly break the shackle alone. Hence, follow the practices that I am to give you."
There is no written rule or path for this energy to travel and traverse once aroused from its slumber. The Yogic practice did help me, though I had no idea it was the reason I went through some 2 1/2 years of lower back pain until Agathiyar revealed it in 2012. Agathiyar told me, "Currently, your Muladhara and Svadhisthana are open. At present, your breath is at the pond (lake). The time of its opening is near. Now is the right time to start your practice. This would open up the chakra completely."
He broke the banks on 22 August 2022 and released the energy that had stagnated and pooled to continue its journey further, by its sheer momentum and flow, without any effort on my part. I felt a pull of a nerve and a tug right below the navel immediately upon waking up and stretching myself in bed at 6.40 am. It brought on a swirling sensation followed by a chill. My whole body became numb right to the tips of my toes and fingers. But it was blissful. Soon I felt nauseous and had the urge to urinate. I collapsed twice on the way to the toilet, picking myself up each time. Back from the toilet, all was fine.
The next day, I woke up at 7.20am, to urinate, but I could not. I collapsed again. I picked myself up and climbed onto the bed. My body became numb from the shoulders down. I lay like a dead log on my bed. Although I could not move even an inch of my torso, I was able to see, hear, and talk, and was aware of what was happening to me. I asked myself if this was what a dead body would feel like. Taking a cue from Lord Muruga, who came through a devotee to bring relief to my back pain by stroking it with peacock feathers in 2018, I called my wife, asking her to bring the peacock feathers over. She stroked my body with it. Soon it subsided and went away.
Seeking answers to what had taken place, Agathiyar came through a devotee and cleared the air later. He told me not to worry and said that the ponded water had been released.
If previously, he had told me that energy had stagnated, which I understood as being at the Svathisthana; it was released now, and the energies continued their journey further, by their sheer momentum and flow, without any effort on my part. But he warned me that I have to maintain it at the crown of the head and never do anything that jeopardizes this state; otherwise, it shall fall back to the Muladhara. He says it then shall be a wasted effort on the part of the Siddhas to assist these energies to move to higher chakras. If that happened, Agathiyar says that he shall have to reprimand me. This was a stern warning from him. When I asked him, thinking that there were further Yoga practices to carry out, what I should do, he told me there was nothing for me to do. "She shall do her work," he replied.
The senses became enhanced, making for better absorption of the sights, smells, hearing, touch, and taste. The enjoyment derived from worldly affairs - let it be in breathing, eating, tasting, hearing, listening and watching, reading, touching, and in sex too - went deep into the cellular level, touching another level previously not known. The breath travelled within, reaching the inner confines and every nook and cranny of the body, right to the cells, bringing on a fantastic sensation or Unarvu and creating a vibration or Athirvu. When the breath that is accustomed to switching nostrils every two hours begins to travel in the Sushumna rather than either the Ida or Pingala, that is completeness or Puranam in breathing, said Agathiyar. Tavayogi told me once that breath or Vaasi, was God.
Similarly, it was in taking food: the whole body savored the food, or rather the Prana in the food right down to the cells. I guess this is what Agathiyar means when we are told that he feeds the elements that reside in the body each time he cooks and serves food to others. This resulted in my hunger and appetite being fulfilled after only a few mouthfuls. I became the odd one out as I sat in silence, enjoying the food that gave me thrills running throughout my body while others engaged in conversations over dinner.
So was it with listening and hearing. The songs that I have listened to all these years come alive, bringing tears to my eyes. Watching movies too made me shed tears and become emotional. When Gowri Arumugam and her husband decided to stream their walkaround at Tavayogi's Kallar Ashram, I could sense the energies at the ashram in Kallar in my living room in Malaysia.
The world around me appeared much brighter and more colorful in all its brilliant colors. It made me appreciate the work of the divine more.
In teaching me the Yoga asanas, Tavayogi told me that some of those postures would improve sexual life. Sex, too, hit a high, touching the state of ecstasy and erections that lasted long.
The sense of touch was enhanced, especially in hugging others. My skin sensed the Prana all around, especially when the wind or breeze blows, during the rain showers, or standing in the warmth of the morning sun, touching the greenery, or looking at flowers and butterflies. Agathiyar said it was connecting and merging with the Prapanjam.
We are grateful to Tavayogi for showing us Agathiyar and not projecting himself. Since the day Tavayogi stepped aside and showed me to Agathiyar, Agathiyar took charge and held the reins. Even Lord Muruga backed off, telling me that he shall leave it to Agathiyar to look into my every need. We are glad that Agathiyar was on hand and had a hand in awakening this super force in us without having to go through much pain and trouble. Just as he told me that he had made it so simple that he could not simplify the process further, reminding me how he had to go through it the tough way, so did Tavayogi quip that I had come to the path quite easily compared with the rough journey he had. I am indeed blessed. I am deeply grateful to them. It was all possible by their grace.
How do we gain their grace then? By being a good student of theirs and following all their dictates. This is the basis for all guru-disciple relationships. A bond has to be cemented that survives the onslaughts of space and time. Then, even if the master has left his mortal frame, he keeps guiding and monitoring us till we join ranks with them.
Please do not get initiated into Kundalini yoga by any Tom, Dick, and Harry or during mass activation. Find a guru and follow him for twelve years. Establish a bond with the guru during these years. There is no systematic procedure or standard operating procedure in that sense. Just as Tavayogi often gives the analogy of preparing the field for the Siddhas to plant the seed in us, the Siddhas prepare us too. That is the reason the guru comes to help us prepare the ground so that he can sow his seed later.
A word of caution. Do not head straight into this practice without a guru in the physical form to monitor our progress. In the absence of a guru, take hold of the Siddhas by carrying out worship to them. They shall come as the guru in any form and guide us further. As for me, after coming into my life, Tavayogi had me carry out Puja, singing the praise of the Siddhas as in Sariyai, which had them turn to look at us and win their grace. Teaching us the rituals, as in Kriyai, he helped us bring the Siddhas down to walk among us. Giving us certain Asanas and Pranayama techniques, Tavayogi brought us to Yogam that opened up the doors and awakened Kundalini. Come to her only if you want to reach out to her and return home. Otherwise, stay away.
Though Tavayogi never gave a hint about what to expect if we put into practice the Asanas and Pranayama techniques that he showed us on his visit to Malaysia in 2007, it triggered the dormant energy that came to lie asleep after doing its job of creating this body and its accessories. Though he gave us this wonderful tool, method, way, practice, and technique that Agathiyar says was a treasure, none of the few who were present to watch him show us continued the legacy. They had missed a chance of a lifetime. It is not every day that a guru or master comes to give us a treasure.
What this practice did was to bring in excessive Prana within each breath, expanding the capacity of the lungs that were used to sedentary living, never pushed to their limit. This was the very first and obvious difference that was noticed. Soon, many transformations took place in the physical body and its internals. Later, subtle energies were released once the house was cleared of its impurities. This energy, Shakti, created both pain and bliss as it made its way up on its path with eagerness to join with her lifetime mate, Shivam, whom she left to start a new home in each one of us. Now that we are in her clutches, she brings us to know her soulmate. We are one once more.
I had my fair share of pain that obstructed my mobility to a certain extent, which I had to bear for some 2 1/2 years. There was a time when I spontaneously twisted my torso as a snake would, writhing in pain. I had collapsed a couple of times upon waking up to go to the toilet. I picked myself up each time. Then, when I dropped onto the floor, outside the toilet, it scared the wits out of my family members, who were awakened by the sound of my fall. They stood watching in terror as my body twisted, writhing like a snake in pain. But it was joyful and pleasurable the same. Later, Agathiyar came and told me that when the Kundalini arises, it would exhibit the movements of a snake. Agathiyar later told me the pain itself was bliss. He explained what had taken place in me and gave me some herbal remedies to consume after I had exhausted all other means of relief. My stools changed in appearance and texture each time I excreted, at times rubbery, and sometimes oily; at other times as pebbles; or forming thin strips like DNA; sometimes light and floating, and at other times dark and sinking. Sorry to mention this here, but since our excretion shows the state of our health, and stool was a way to identify illness and the state of our being and insides in the days of the past, both by medical and Siddha practitioners. I was finally relieved of the pain as the physiotherapist asked me to carry out the exercise before her that she had shown me earlier. When the pain reappeared again in 2018, Lord Muruga explained the process of healing by having the Nadi reader read, and simultaneously came through a devotee and used peacock feathers to fan my body to the accompaniment of the Arutperunjothi mantra that he had those gathered chant and energize the glass of water which he had me drink. I was healed. I soon learned that when certain energies begin to traverse through our body as a result of the Yoga practices, various behaviors and feelings could arise: negativity and anger; laughter or crying; etc., all happening spontaneously. The pent-up anger and emotions are expelled from the system, too.
This knowledge (of the Kundalini) was so well hidden, in fact, that when I picked up the practice from Tavayogi, I had no idea what was happening to me. Just as Tavayogi told me, our efforts are only until we reach Svadhistana, and the guru shall lead us on from there; Agathiyar came to reveal it all and gave me a hand. After having these experiences, Agathiyar asked that I write about them so that readers would know what to expect when walking the path of internal transformation towards the goal of attaining Light or Jothi. I leave it to Agathiyar to decide if I qualify and shall make it, as both my gurus, Supramania Swami and Tavayogi, say, whether we attain the state of Light is immaterial for now, but at least we are working towards it and shall come back again if we fail in this life. One who arrives at his center becomes total, says Agathiyar. He calls this the state of Completeness or Paripuranam. This and the state of Purity, or Punitan, are two prerequisites and qualification to join their fold or Tirukootam. I guess this will do for now.