THE WAYS OF THE MOST COMPASSIONATE FATHER

Though I had given up on others who followed on the path, Agathiyar never gave up on them. Though he had me dissolve the small group of followers, and sent them their way to put into practice what was seen and learned at Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM), he never let go of the string placing hope that they shall return to pursue further the goal of becoming a Siddha once they get tired of the temporary and impermanent pleasures in life. In other words, AVM was partially closed permitting only those who took up Yogam as Agathiyar had dictated us to move up from the previous phase of worship and rituals or Sariyai and Kriyai.

But recent events that came to the fore made me want to shut the doors to AVM completely and abstain from answering calls and respond to messages. It saddened me that though some followed the path all these years they kept coming back to Agathiyar to perform miracles. A devotee came for her father in the past, hoping Agathiyar could cure him. Then she came for her husband to be cured. Recently she came for her mother. How long shall this go on? Will she return for her children and herself later? Agathiyar had to knock some sense into her. Then another young lad stood at my door claiming he was following the Siddha path and that he was into meditation. Enquiring further, he told me he never followed but his parents were into the Siddha path. Prodding him further I found out that the parents never worshipped the Siddhas. There was no indication of the Siddhas teachings being followed nor were they aligned to any particular group on the path. Then he quickly added that they read much about the Siddhas and were well informed. Their path stopped at reading about the Siddhas. Then why the false claim? Does a well-informed individual or society replace the need to walk the path living the Siddhar Vazhkai Neri? Then he blurted that he was spiritual too. I asked him in what ways was he spiritual. He could not reply in what sense or how he was spiritual. He had already begun to anger me. To add salt to the wound, he said he never prayed but preferred to meditate. Asking him how long he has been meditating he jolted me off my seat when he replied that he had just started a month ago. I lost my patience with him. I gave him a morsel to eat as he had not taken anything since he woke up and it was late afternoon and sent him off with a "knock" on his head. Tell me now do I really need to go through these cruciating moments of torture? But it looks like I needed that for Agathiyar tells me that it was him who sent the lad over! அவனை அனுப்பியதும் நான் தான். Another curious follower from abroad called me to ask about the most auspicious day for Lord Murugan. Some time back he called to enquire and wanted to contact a particular Nadi reader. His interest from the onset was in dwelling on the mysteries of the Nadi. In both instances, I had to remind him that I had moved on. I told him not to mistake me as being arrogant but I cannot be going back and reliving those moments for others. The reason I share these and other similar stories is not to publicize others' flaws and project myself as a saint but to remind myself and maybe one or two readers out there who profess the same of how we have begun to see the Siddhas merely as shamans and medicine men, and as astrologers forgeting that they are here to lead us to gaining and attaining the state of Gnana.

For those who ask about my adventures traveling the path or seeking to know the path, these days I point them to the blog postings instead. I tell them it is all there. Many I have come to understand want to hear it told rather than read. Reading has become a tiring and time-consuming chore for them I guess. An audiobook would be a blessing to those. Prior to these events that took place in the last few days, I had to stomach questions like, "What did you gain by coming to worship the Siddhas? Could it be that you are hallucinating thinking that Agathiyar was speaking to you?" etc in the past. The recent spate of events was the last straw that broke the camel's back. Hence I decided to wind up my act and bring the shutters down on AVM for good. 

Discussing my intent with Mahin and sharing my sadness at the current state of affairs of others who just refuse to change, grow, and transform, Agathiyar came to ask that I drop the idea of going into hibernation. Agathiyar reminded me a second time not to close the shutters. He asked me to defer my decision to close shop. He wants AVM to remain open for he says it is his alayam or temple. I am surprised for my home does not have high walls, towering towers, minarets nor an inner sanctum, and is not the least anything like a temple in structure. It doesn't even have a signboard indicating or announcing it to be a temple, peedham, or movement. Many have stood at my door and returned disappointed expecting it to be a center. I tell them that they were wrong in assuming it was a center. It is just a standard home of a family man that I had invested in 1991 in a once quiet neighborhood of terrace-linked homes. Although no rituals were done the past two years, as Agathiyar had brought an end to it all and the lamp is not lit as I am staying with my daughter and grandchildren currently, yet Agathiyar considers it his alayam. How can that be? Discussing this with Suren over the phone, he tells me all the effort and puja done the past 20 years had gone into making the place a temple. Though all the gatherings and puja have stopped for good, the place still retains the vibes as each time I go back and take a step within my home I sense his presence even after a long absence. Agathiyar who prompted me to retire optionally in 2016, so that I could engage full time in puja and charity, has other plans for me and did not want me to retire within just as yet. 

Agathiyar tells me clearly why I can't close shop just as yet again, telling me that on the personal front, I needed to evolve further Bodily, in Soul and Spirit. Just as he never gave up on others, telling me that they shall come around once they lose their attention on worldly things, Agathiyar never gave up on me telling me that he was still working on me. I needed to evolve further in Body, Soul, and Spirit he says. For this to take place I needed to go through and experience the desired bodily changes required to reach within and know the Soul, and eventually identify with the Spirit that keeps us alive. This was what was currently on my agenda drafted by Agathiyar. 

Having learned officially Yoga from Tavayogi when he was in Malaysia in 2008 after pursuing them learning from books for years, Agathiyar speaks about this initiation into Yogam in my 26th Nadi reading on 25.4.2008. He mentions my meeting Tavayogi. He talks about the prayers conducted during the Chitra Pornami Festival. He asks that I continue my prayers. He talks about his path. He mentions that it was a treasure that Tavayogi had given us by way of teaching us Asanas and Pranayama. Watching Tavayogi do them, we were surprised by the volume of air that he could take in and belt out, compared to our shallow breathing. Watch Tavayogi demonstrate the Yoga techniques to disciples in Malaysia at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTjr12CUqQE&feature=youtu.be

After some practice, I too saw its amazing effects. I realized the increased capacity in me to take in a larger volume of air than usual into my lungs and subsequently take in a larger quantity of prana that came to a heightened state where I sensed as if my body would explode. But the feeling was beautiful. 

After Tavayogi set us on doing Yoga, Pathanjali came immediately in the next reading on 18.5.2008 to elaborate on the appropriate diet that would be conducive to seeing the desired results of our Yoga practice. He advises on the kind of food to consume. He asks that I stay on this path. He reveals his Yoga. He asks to continue the Asana and Pranayama practices and prayers too. Pathanjali too mentions that prayers (puja), meditation (tavam), and Yoga can overcome Karma. He instructs me to spread the teachings of the Siddhas. 

As I diligently carried out what was taught, Agathiyar came on 30.9.2008 endorsing the practice as faultless and extolling the benefits of Pranayama.

தவம் அதுவும் முறையாகச் செய்வாய் இப்போ. தான் அதிலே பிழை ஏது குறை ஏது. தன் தவத்தால் தன் குடியும் மிகுந்து இருக்கும். கண்ணியமாய் வாசிதன்னை வசப்படுத்தி, கணக்காகப் புசிக்கச் சிறப்பு தான். சிறப்பெல்லாம் வாசியிலே அடங்கி இருக்கு. சித்தர் எல்லாம் வாசி வழி தேர்ச்சி கண்டார். சிறப்பு மிக்க மூத்தோனும் புத்தனும் தான் சிறப்பான வாசிக்கே அதிபதி ஆவார். ஆனதொரு வாசியை அடக்கினாலே ஆயுளோடு மரணம் இல்லா பெருவாழ்வு உண்டு. தவசி எல்லாம் வாசியாலே தவமும் பெற்றார். தான் அடைந்த உண்மையெல்லாம் உனக்கு உரைத்தோம்.

I was told to stop the practice when I succumbed to severe backache back in 2011 by Agathiyar. In 2019 he asked me to resume doing it. It is interesting to note that after 12 years Agathiyar brings us back to revisit these techniques asking both me and the others who frequent AVM to put them into practice. Agathiyar reiterates again that these practices are a treasure. 

If in the past he started us with pranayama by asking us to concentrate on several spots in our head and torso, these days Agathiyar asks that we just follow the trail of the breath. The trail shall end when the breath subsides. Just as the force of water subsides as it travels farther away from its source into the plains and eventually into the ocean, "When your thoughts die down or lose their intensity what remains is me", says Agathiyar simplifying the means to an end. As the thoughts hitch on the breath, we are asked to ditch it. As the manam takes a ride on it, when the breath subsides the thoughts die with it and vice versa. What remains is the Self, the Atma, and Agathiyan as the inner flame and Spirit. When our thoughts die that is "Summa erupathu". Thoughts are the seeds of action. The thoughts fed with prana result in action. Drop the thoughts and the actions shall seize. Prana accumulated within shall not be lost through the senses and its organs. 

உனது எண்ணத்தை நீ சற்று விலக்கு. நான் அங்கு இருந்து உனக்கு பதில் அளிப்பேன். அழுத்தமான உன் எண்ணம் தளர்ந்து போகும். அது தளர்ந்து போகும் நிலையில் நானே உள் இருப்பேன். நீயாய் சுவாசித்த பிராணவ வாயு இனி உன்னை கேட்காமல் உன்னுள் ஊடுருவும். எப்பொதுதெல்லாம்  அது ஊடுருவதை நீ உணறுகிறாயோ இருக்கும் இடம் அறிந்து அதனுள் பயணம் செய். கலந்து போ. அதனோடு நீ கலக்கும் தருணமே தியானம். 

If the air used to move through the nostril in the past with my effort towards pranayama, coupled with rituals and puja to gain the Siddha's grace, without which one cannot progress far, the skin and lungs have begun to breathe in the air of their own accord. Agathiyar tells me following the breath within is meditation simplifying the means to an end.

If his Agathiyar Kuzhambu and subsequent concoctions purged my body of toxins and kalivu accumulated over the past 62 years, and with my return to yogic practices that were kept on hold by him for 8 years that initially brought about expansion of my lungs and subsequently increase in the intake and volume of air within in the initial years of 2008, these aids have helped me arrive at a stage where I have begun to tap into the prana directly through the skin pores and the lungs besides through the nostril. The area around the chest and the whole body absorbs the cool prana without any effort these days. Prana is taken in through food these days too. In brushing by a bush, plant, and tree I feel the prana is transmitted from them. Raising the hands like an antenna or standing by an open window taps the prana from the surroundings and the breeze that blows and brushes past us.  This is the evolution of the physical Body.

தேக மாற்றம் உணருகிறாயா? இதுவே துவக்கம். உன்னுள் ஏற்படும் மாற்றங்கள் யாவும் கழிவுகள். அகன்று போகும். கவலை வேண்டாம். நாடி சுட்டி செய்து பிரணவத்தை உயர்த்தவும். பிரணவத்தில் கவனம் செலுத்து. உனது பிராணவத்தில் கலந்திருபாய். பிரணவத்தை கொண்டு ஜோதியை சுடர் விடச் செய். சுஷும்னா வழி சென்று ஆக்கினை தொடும். பின்னர் ஜோதி தெரியும். இரு நாசியில் செல்லும் கால் பிரணவம் இடைகலை பிங்கலையில் சீராகச் செல்லும் தருணம்  சுத்த பரிபூரணத்தில் நீ ஆழ்ந்து விடுவாய். நீ செய்தது யாவும் தவம் முயற்சி ....தியானம் என்பது உனது பரிபூரணம் ஆகும். 

முயற்சி செய்யணும். உனது முயற்சியே உனது படி. தற்போது நீ செய்து வரும் சிறப்பு. அதைத் தொடர்ந்து செய்து வா. (பிராண சக்தி ஊடுருவிச் செல்கிறதே) அதுவே பிரணவ தேகம். முதல் படியில் இருக்கிறாய். பிரணவத்தின் சக்தி உணரும் தருணம் பிரணவத்தின் நீயே அதைக் காண்பாய். உன் பிரணவத்தால் ஊடுகிறாயா? அல்லது பிரணவம் உன்னுள் ஊடுகிறதா என்ற குழப்பம் ....என்று படியில் காலடி வைகிறாயோ அன்று உமக்கு விடை பிறக்கும். இவ் இன்பத்தில் ஆழ்ந்து கொண்டுவா. (அது பேர் ஆனந்தம்) இன்னும் இருக்கிறது. நீ கற்பதற்கு இன்னும் இருக்கிறது. எனது பரிபூரண ஆசியோடு கற்பிப்பாய். யாம் கூறிவித்தேன். உன்னுள் ஜோதி எரியும்வரை நான் உன்னோடு வருவேன். உமது பிரணவத்தை கொண்டு செல்லு. பிரபஞ்சம் ஆகிய காற்றின் அழுத்தம் உன்னில் இருக்கிறது. இதுவே முதல் படி. இரண்டாம் நிலையாய் இருக்கும் நிலம் விரைவில் உன்னில் ஊடுருவதை காண்பாய். 

I remember how Agathiyar in speaking about the greatness of Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar, spells out his state of seclusion in order to attain the desired states of the higher evolution of Body, Soul, and Spirit.

19.8.2008

காலை நீ சித்தர் வாழ் தடங்கள் சென்று கணக்காக வழிபட யோகம் தான். பயணமதில் அரங்கனையும் நீயும் கண்டு வர வேண்டும். தடை முன்னே தனக்குமே வந்திருக்கு தான். தடை அதுவும் செய்ததும் நாங்கள் அப்பா. அதையும் பொருட்படுத்தா நீயும் சென்று பார். அரங்கனுள் அகிலம் உண்டே. அரங்கனின் உள்ளே நங்கள் எல்லாம் புதைந்து உள்ளோம். அரங்கனை நீ கண்டால் ஆண்டவனை காண்பாய். அன்னவனே ஞானிமார்கள் பலரையும் தான், அன்னவனும் தொழுது தொழுது தான், அரங்கனும் பல நிலையைக் கடந்துள்ளான். அதனாலே அவனையும் தரிசித்தால் ஆண்டவனை தரிசித்தற்கு சமம் என்றோம். அன்னவன் இன்ப சுற்றலா அற்று அகில சுகம் அவனுக்கு அற்று போயும் மகா சக்தியை அடைந்தவன் அரங்கன். சுத்த உணவுகளில் தவ உணவு, பேரின்பத்தை அடைந்து, சுகம் அறுத்துச் சுகத்தை கண்டவன் அரங்கன். அவன் ஆசி பெற்றுவிட்டால் அகிலமதில் பெரும் யோகம் பெறுவாய் அப்பா. அரங்கனின் ஆசியும் பெற்று விட்டால் அகிலமே உனக்குப் புரிந்து விடும்.

Agathiyar tells me clearly why I can't close shop just as yet. I have responsibilities too to attend to he says. He needs to see his devotees at AVM where he intends to help them further. Many still look up to him and AVM as his residence and temple he says, although we had very much tried to erase that rapport and attachment by inculcating the thought that Agathiyar shall set up home in anybody's camp provided they ask and invite him in. We invited others to make their homes Agathiyar Vanam too through worship of the Siddhas in their homes and inviting them in. There was no two way about it when he says that I have to stomach all sorts of characters that are to come along in my life. Looks like I cannot choose and pick who is to drop by. 

உனது ஆர்வம் எனக்கு புரிகிறது. உனக்கு இன்னும் பயற்சி அதிகம் தேவை. உடல் அளவிலும் மன அளவிலும் உனது ஆத்ம அளவிலும் இன்னும் பயற்சி இருக்கு. அதை யாம் அளித்து கொண்டு தான் இருக்கிறோம். ஆகையால் உனக்கு பயற்சி தேவை. அவை இவ்வாறு வருபவர்கள் மூலமே இருக்கும். பொறுமை கொள்வாயாக. 

உன்னை நான் தனிமை படுத்தி கொண்டு தான் இருக்கிறேன். உன்னில் இருந்து நான் செய்யும் அணைத்து பயிற்சிகள் செவ்வன செய்து வா. ஆனபோதிலும் உனக்கான கடமைகளும் இருக்கிறது. யாம் வருவதையும் இன்னும் பலர் இன்னும் வேண்டும் என்று எண்ணி கொண்டிருக்கிறார்கள். அவர்களுக்கு யாம் வழி காட்ட வேண்டும். அவ் இல்லம் எமது கோயில். தனிமைப்படுத்தி கொல்லாதே நான் கூறும் வரையில்.

The physical body needs to be purified whence the coarser material is transformed to finer material. The initial Asudha deham becomes Sudha deham. With prana coming within it filling all the pores and spaces within the body it becomes the Pranava deham. He shall be lifted into mid air if not held back. Next would be the Gnana deham enriched with wisdom not from bookish learning but from experiences. Finally the Oli deham where the dismantling back to the core elements takes place. If Agathiyar aided in the transformation of the physical body, the experience learned from the many instances of interaction with people on the path builds the power of the Soul. The Soul too needs to evolve with each birth, gaining Soul power or Atma Balam through living out the experiences. This is what Agathiyar had staged and executed carefully. Agathiyar besides allowing me to make blunders and mistakes; sinning and later repenting for it, in giving me the experiences has given me valuable insight into life. He asks that I learn further from all the flaws and mistakes of others too. He wants me to hear them out and witness and learn from their mistakes too. He has me sit with him and listen to these conversations. In sharing we gain insights. If he had given us rituals and yogic practices to follow and grow, now these brief encounters with people seeking to know the path are all part of the additional practice required to turn and transform a caterpillar into a pupa before it emerges as a beautiful butterfly spreading its wings far and wide. 

Working on the physical Body and the Soul, finally, the divine comes within to enhance and empower the Spirit what was a small flame within to burn to its full capacity and effulgence. When some locals of a particular clan played a trick on saint Sri Raghavendra asking him to revive a boy who had been asked to play dead, the saint tells them that he could not bring the boy back alive as his Spirit had left. They mocked him and ridicule him pressing him to revive the kid, for they knew that the boy was playing dead. But when they called the boy to end the game and wake up, what they confronted was a dead body. Indeed the saint was right that that the lad had died. The saint explains that one can revive the dead as long as the Spirit was within. Prana that keeps us hale, healthy and alive sustains the Spirit within. By engaging in pranayama one increases the prana intake and extends his lifetime keeping the Spirit within longer. 

I shared my sadness of having failed in gaining any notable transformation the past two years. Though I was living in a cocoon, having tried very much to go within but only to encounter disruptions and obstacles to the journey within, I deemed it had not been fruitful and had wasted precious time and years, thinking in the sense of accumulating gains as in any venture. But Agathiyar surprised me by telling me that the two years were not wasted. இவ் இரு ஆண்டுகள் யாவும் பயனற்று போகவில்லை 

I did not understand them until speaking to Mahin he points out that in the past two years I had learned to drop many a thing. It suddenly dawned on me that he was right. For I had always seen and looked forward to gains that came as an added component or add on to existing states of spiritual being, that sees us rise up the spiritual ladder, sees our efforts paid off and gain some new insights, etc but never thought that the change could also happen in reverse where we drop what we had held dear and close to our hearts all these years. Mahin had to remind me that I had learned to drop my hold on rituals and the hold on having people around me and becoming accustomed to the attention given when AVM was alive. Agathiyar broke it all up hence assisting me to let go without much pain. 

Agathiyar had told that it was not easy attaining the state of Gnanam. One has to lose his hold on things, giving them up. Hence he confirms why he states that the two years in seclusion were not wasteful. First, Agathiyar asked that we clear and clean the house and the surroundings that we stayed in to keep disease and illness at bay. For this reason, our ancestors had us adopt and observe the annual Bhogi festival. Then Agathiyar had us drop all acquired knowledge and let him fill us in. Then the series of purgatives worked to clear the body of residues. Having us participate in charity drew compassion from within our hearts. With the experiences both sweet and sour, that came our way, wisdom arose from these learnings. These continuous throwing away, dropping, and shedding of things, opinions, perspectives, believes, etc held close to the heart eventually leads to the dawn of Gnanam.

அவைகளே உமக்கு இன்னல்கள். அவைகளே உமக்கு ஞானம். பொறுத்துக்கொள். உனது முயற்ச்சியால் உமது ஐம் புலன்களை அடக்கிடுவாய். அது நடக்கும் வண்ணம் இவைகள் உமக்குத் தொந்திராவு வழங்கும்.

பலர் வருவார்கள். ஆனால் ஞானத்தை நாடுபவர்கள் மிகவே குறைவு. நீங்கள் ஞானத்தை விரும்பினீர்கள். நான் வழங்க உள்ளேன். விரைவில் அனைத்தும் தெரிய வரும். நீங்கள் ஞானம் பெற பல முயற்சிகள் வேண்டும். ஆதலால் உள்ளதை அறுதெரிய வேண்டியவை அதிகம் இருக்கும். அதை எவன் ஒருவன் எறிகிறானோ அவனுக்கு ஞான வேந்தன் ஞானதை அளிப்பான். நான் உறுதுணையாக இருப்பேன். நீங்கள் உள் பயணிக்கும் பொது எல்லாம் தெளிவாகத் தெரியும் சமயம் திரை விலகியத்திற்கு அர்த்தம். நீங்கள் உள் பயணம் பயணிக்கும் பொது எல்லாம் தெரிய வரும் தருணம் திரை விலக்கியத்திற்கு அர்த்தம். புரிகிறதா? எல்லாம் தெரிய வரும். எல்லாம் தெரிய வந்ததால் திரை விலக்கியத்திற்கு அர்த்தம் தானே? அதுதான் ஞானம். இது மந்திர ஜாலமல்ல. அதற்கும் அப்பால் பட்டது. எல்லா லோகமும் தெரிய வரும். ஐந்தொழிலும் தெரிய வரும். அனைத்து தத்துவங்களும் தெரிய வரும். எல்லாம் எங்களின் விளையாட்டு என்று தெரிய வரும்.

Ramalinga Adigal came to pave the way too drawing the curtain aside.

என் பெருமானே என்னுள் வந்து அருளிய ஜோதி அது....என் பெருமான் அருளிய ஜோதி அது....

திரை எனும் திரை எனும் என் பெருமான் காட்டிய திரை அது....

என் அருள் அப்பன் அருள் ஜோதி அது...

சீர்ஜோதி அது பெருஞ் ஜோதி அது... ஏறும் பெரும் ஜோதி அது.

என்னுள் அது ஏறும்போது திரை அது விலகியது...

என்னுள் அது ஏறும் நிலையில் ஜோதி அது ஜோதி அது...

திரை எனும் திரை அது அருட்பெருஞ்ஜோதி அது...

திரை விலக உங்களில் இருக்கும் ஜோதி அதனைச் சுடர்விட செய்யுங்கள்.

என் அப்பன் அகத்தியன் உங்களுக்குள் வந்து அத்திரையை விலக்கிவிடுவார்.

அதுவே இப்பாடலின் பொருள். என் அப்பன் அகத்தியன் உங்களுக்குள் இருந்து வழி நடத்தி வருகிறார். அவன் வழியிலே நடந்து வாருங்கள். அத்திரை விலக்குவதற்க்கு அவன் அருள் புரிவான். அருட்ஜோதி உங்களை ஆசீர்வதித்தது. அருட்பெருஞ்சோதி ஆண்டவர் உங்களை ஆசீர்வதித்தார். செல்லும் வழி சரி. அகத்தியன் அருட்ஜோதியை நோக்கி அழைத்துச் செல்வான்.

Agathiyar gave the green light to disclose these pertinent points not available in books but made available to those who put what is said into practice. I can safely share them with readers praying that they too shall gain the grace of the divine in all their spiritual ventures and safely come aboard and reach the shores.

இனி இவன் மூலம் உங்கள் மொழியில் பேசுவேன். இவன் எழுதுக்களை படியுங்கள். அவை என் கருத்து. இனி ஆத்மவை பற்றி நிறைய சொல்வேன். சரியையில் எனக்குச் சேவை செய்தீர்; கிரியையில் எனது குழந்தைகளாய் ஏற்றேன்; யோகத்தில் என் நண்பனாய் ஏற்றேன்; ஞானத்தில் நான் நீயாக நீங்கள் நானாகச் சேர்வோம்.

இனி உமது எழுத்துக்கள் உமது பயணங்கள் மட்டும் இருக்கட்டும். நாம் உன்னிடத்தில் உரைக்கும் வழிமுறைகள் பகர்வாய். 

To those readers trying to make contact with me, I have to humbly refuse. As Agathiyar had asked that I go within it would not make sense in me to expand the network of friends. Hence the reason I never accepted new friends on Fb nor posted anything. It is also the reason that I never wanted others to share my contact numbers nor email addresses.  I am just maintaining the few numbers of fellow seekers who call me to share their experience and never more. This should suffice for now till the time is ripe for all to seize and come to a closure.

JNANA JOTHIAMMA

I had written a biography of a devotee as never seen before. She was speaking to Goddess Ma and Karupanasamy who stood by her before her eyes sighted this blog or rather its predecessor, my now-defunct website indianheartbeat in 2011. Enquiring about Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal and his Kallar ashram she made another trip to India the same year she had returned to the USA after installing and inaugurating a seven-foot-tall statue of Karupanasamy in Chennai. Agathiyar took her into her arms. Her love for Agathiyar grew enormously till Agathiyar prepared her to become a Siddha. Then I received word that she had passed away. I held back her biography for I did not know what prevailed in the months after she shut herself completely away from society, the social media and even stopped corresponding with me through Skype and email. She was ordained to spread the teachings of the Siddhas first leaving for the USA in 2017 and later in Malaysia and finally back in India. But Agathiyar's predictions in the Nadi never happened. My only guess was that her love for Agathiyar had superseded all other gifts, treasures, and positions that Agathiyar had offered her. I kept on hold her biography for how would I explain where she was and if people wanted to know her or get in touch with her. Reading the biography would suggest that she was alive and kicking spreading Agathiyar's messages. Recently on 29 August 2021 Agathiyar finally revealed what had taken place. Agathiyar said the same, that she wanted him more than anything else. Agathiyar revealed that he was preparing her to receive the Jothi. But she skipped even that gift for Agathiyar. He took her with him. This reminds me of the love that Meera had for Krishna. 

தங்கராசனை எம்மோடு நான் அழைத்ததும் ஞானத்திற்கு ஜோதியாய் இருந்தவளை ஜோதியின் தரிசனம் காண்பித்தற்கு ஆயத்தம் செய்த நிலையில் நான் செய்த சுத்திகரிப்பு அவளின் உள்ளம் ஏற்கவில்லை எம்மோடு இணைத்து கொள்ள அவள் விருப்பம் கொண்டால் 

Finally, her biography is seeing the light of the day. I can now share it with readers. 

Preface to her Biography

This book you are holding in your hands, I believe is a wish of mine that has come true. I had always had two wishes. I wanted a personal Darshan or vision of Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal and wanted to witness someone/anyone repeating the same feat as Ramalinga Adigal did – dematerializing into thin air and becoming Jyothi or light.

When Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal was in Malaysia in 2007, since I had always wanted the Darshan of Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal, I found the moment to mention my wishes to him. Tavayogi’s answer to my wish to have the Darshan of Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal was, as usual answered with another question, “It is possible son, but is that what you want?” After a pause he told me what I should ask for instead. “Ask that you merge at their feet.” In the years to come he guided me subtly without even me realizing the fact hence teaching me and setting my priorities right. 

I met Tavayogi when he was 67 years of age. I could not witness nor follow Tavayogi's spiritual evolvement from being a commoner to the status of a full fledged guru and turavi or mendicant. When I put forth my second wish to see my guru Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal achieve the state of becoming Jyothi just as Ramalinga Adigal had achieved, he humbly answered that it will not take place in this birth and that he has to come back (take another birth), though he shall achieve Sahaja Samadhi the highest form of Samadhi, leaving behind the body and merging with the divine. He told me that any achievement to turn to light has to take place before one hits the age of 60.  I dropped that expectation too.

Then along comes Jnana Jyothiamma through whom Agathiyar chooses to show us her spiritual advancement and subsequent flowering into a guru in the near future. We are blessed to have made her acquaintance, and given the opportunity to witness the workings of Agathiyar and the Siddhas on her. My family and I are a witness to many miraculous events that are taking place in the life of Jnana Jyothiamma and are blessed to follow her evolution into a spiritual figure. 

Just as the saying goes, “Narudan poo sernthu manakkum”, which means the string that holds the flowers together as a garland will take on the aroma of the flowers too, we are praying that we might be showered with the rain spatter by just watching her majestic journey. She was humble enough to share every single moment on this path with me during the hours and hours of conversation that I had with her on Skype.

This biography traces the journey of Jnana Jyothiamma who sought to know about Agathiyar and the Siddhas and had the courage to ask, listen and venture into unknown territories. When others came for solutions to their problems or rewards for their efforts, she came with no expectations. She came empty and was filled by Agathiyar. She least expected what was to come her way. Neither did I. As a film director captures the attention of his audience with a spell binding opening scene to his movie, so did Agathiyar enchant and fascinate her with his very first darshan or presence at Kallar. What took place behind close doors and known only to Agathiyar and Jnana Jyothiamma was made known officially and endorsed through the Jeeva Nadi reading at Kallar after a few days.

Agathiyar later brought Jnana Jyothiamma to the attention of the world through an amazing spectacle he showed at Kalyana Theertam. The show of lights was only seen through the lens of the camera, feverishly handled by Siddha practitioner Dr. Ram Subramaniam of Tirunelveli. Henceforth began a journey of sheer amazement and astonishment. Wherever she went the Siddhas showed their presence openly.

As she took one step at a time, time and space slowly revealed to her what was in store for her. This book is a product of the conversations and correspondence I had had with her over the past years and Agathiyar’s subsequent revelations of Jnana Jyothiamma. I had carried her experiences in my postings on Siddha Heartbeat at http://agathiyarvanam.blogspot.com/earlier. Her wish that I write a biography of her is fulfilled today.

Introduction to her Biography

What an interesting journey it has been for Jnana Jyothiamma these past years. Here we see a Siddha in the making. We see how all the Gods and Goddesses have worked on an individual of their choice who had all the merits and qualities of becoming a Siddha and a guru.

Take a moment to view these photos and let the following amazing, miraculous and magnificent moments captured on film describe the nature and standing of the person I am about to narrate in this biography.

Agathiyar performs magnificent miracles in the life of Jnana Jyothiamma. Her tale is to be told for it is a magnificent one. Let me walk you through her amazing journey of discovery of Jnana Jyothiamma, Agathiyar and the Siddhas. 

Jnana Jyothiamma’s spiritual journey started many years ago. Born in Kerala, studied in Chennai and having migrated to the USA, she was ever guided by the Divine Mother and Karupanasamy. They revealed the mystery behind many happenings to her. Having guided and worked on her, in 2011 they handed her over to Agathiyar.

The next chapter of her spiritual journey began. She was ‘called’ to the Sri Agathiyar Gnana Peedham at Kallar to know more about Agathiyar from its patron guru Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal. At Kallar, she was mysteriously and mystically initiated by Agathiyar. After her initiation at Kallar she was "rushed" and "forced" to return to the USA, by Tavayogi for reasons known only to the divine.

A year later she came back to participate in the Agathiyar Jayanthi and Guru Puja Vizha and the Sarva Dosa Nivarana Maha Yagam in Kallar. Leaving Kallar, she was ‘called’ to many Siddha samadhis, caves, meditation spots and temples in and around Karamadai, Papanasam, Kalyana Theertam, Kothaiyar, Palani, Vadalur, Erode, Thiruvannamalai, Trichy, Krishnagiri and in and around Chennai. She visited her homeland Kerala too. She journeyed to Malaysia twice. Returning from Malaysia she was place under “house arrests” and in isolation by Agathiyar. She is still in solitude, often visited by the Siddhas and taken care of and provided by them.

Just as a butterfly emerges from the pupa after many months of incubation; just as the grizzly bear goes into hibernation in the winter months; just as Kumbakarna and Kuberan slept it out for ages only to emerge again one day with magnamity; Jnana Jyothiamma will soon blossom into a spiritual leader, master, guru and a Siddha.

LOVE DOES WONDERS

When God comes within, love emerges. She sees him in everything and he sees everything through her. What can bring love within? Love for Him. Love for the parents, love for the children and grandchildren moves on to love for God. One then begins to love everyone. One then is one with Prapanjam. 

You cannot initially love someone unless you get to be introduced to him first. I was introduced officially to Agathiyar by Tavayogi the moment I was initiated by him into the order. But prior to the initiation and immediately after I read the Nadi in 2002, I had already begun my search for my beloved. Love for him developed in the bosom in due course as we crossed paths while journeying with Tavayogi into the woods and jungles, temples, and caves. I began to have glimpses of his miracles as he interacted with us. Seeking to opt-out of service later, I began to spend more time with him. I fell in love with him completely. Just as a lover is always in one's thoughts he is forever in mine. When I eat a mouthful I ask if he had eaten. In later years I was to learn that Agathiyar loved to cook and feed others and fed himself well too. The reason he took food was to feed and keep alive all the elementals. I was concerned about him, his name, and his prestige. I could not accept anyone deride and ridicule him. If he is hurt I am hurt too. If this was my relationship with Agathiyar, he too spelled the same in the Nadi. He told me to walk tall since I have befriended him. He asked that I shed no tears for then he too shall cry. Here developed a relationship where we took care of each other with him looking over my shoulders and me making sure that I do not tarnish his name. And so the relationship was built and grew between Guru and a Disciple.

Looking back, it all goes back to the day I saw the Nadi. He came to reveal about me in my Pothu Kaandam or General Canto. Looking into my stars he told my past, the present, and the future. My only regret was that he came only when I was 44 years of age. Where was he all that while? Putting this to my guru Tavayogi some three years after the reading when I met him for the first time, he told me to be grateful for at least I have come to know him at that age, though quite late. For the first time, I learned about karma and its effect on us in the Nadi. I too was not spared. The compassionate Agathiyar did not have me live with it but listed out what I should do to eradicate them. The choice was then mine whether to believe in him and karma, and take heed of his words, and carry out the remedies given. This is where the journey that fate had written for me was altered. I could have lived my life as fate dictated. But in seeking the Nadi, Agathiyar showed me a means to know and correct my past. When the past karma is satisfied by atoning for our past actions and doing remedies in the present, a new path opens up right before us. We step into new surroundings moving away and leaving behind what was fated before. Hence I realized the truth in Tavayogi telling each and everyone who comes by to know the reason for his or her sufferings that it was due to their karma and that singing their praise or Siddha potri shall eradicate their past doings. But sadly those who came for a solution or to relieve their pain for that moment never intended to take the hands of the Siddhas for life. They live the same old live walking the same trodden path and coming back for a Nadi reading each time they stumble over something in broad daylight. I did stumble in this life too. But he stood by me either giving me the good sense to keep away and avoid or if I had fallen into it, he lifted me up and kept me away from further danger, the reason being I stuck with him. If I had deserted him, he too would have deserted me.

What was in store for me on the new path that was shown by Agathiyar and that I chose to follow was slowly revealed chapter by chapter through his Aasi Kaandam in later years.

Since I had a prior obligation to my guru Supramania Swami Agathiyar brought me to see him on the pretext of charting the horoscope for my daughter while in India carrying out the remedies. A brief period of discipleship under Supramania Swami changed my life further. I have to thank my wife for initiating the move to see an astrologer to chart the horoscope for my daughter in India during my travels to perform the remedies, for that is how I landed at the doorstep of Supramania Swami seeking to chart my daughter's horoscope.

As Agathiyar revealed my dark secrets from my dark past in my very first Nadi reading, I was ashamed and atoned for it. In heeding his call and taking his advice, watching me carry out the remedies, and taking up the call to come to the path of the Siddhas, he paved the way for another reading some three years later in 2005. He relieved me of the blame and shame in my past doings telling me that it was all his doing and that I needed those experiences. I saw the compassion in him at that moment. He showed me a guru who could lead me further into the rough terrains of the new frontier of the Siddhas that I was set to explore. If I had gone searching for the Siddhas in existing establishments to no avail after my first reading, I was officially ordained into the path when Agathiyar brought Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal to our shores. Tavayogi took charge of me instead of showing me to the local affiliate of his as he originally did, when Agathiyar asked that he initiate me again after having the Nadi reading. Here too I had a choice whether I wanted to heed Agathiyar's directive to leave to see Tavayogi and get initiated again immediately or leave for home and sleep on it. Many years later coming to the present, when Agathiyar switched the mode of delivery of updates revising the version, speaking directly to us through others, he told me then that those assignments, tasks, or remedies done exactly as told and at the precise moment the solution is given, shall result in success. Which means we are responsible for the results of any delays otherwise. I guess we can relate this to the Tamil movie "12 B" which is a spinoff of the English movie "Sliding Doors" where a brief moment of delay in catching the public transport totally changes the course of the lead actor and actress respectively. 

I took up Tavayogi's invitation to visit his ashram as did Agathiyar instruct me too in the Nadi. Following on his heels after he left for India, I followed him tracking into the jungles and sleeping in caves that were indeed a new experience for a city dweller.  

Agathiyar began to show me the blueprint of my new life but in parts as I visited him for further Aasi readings over time. As I accomplished each assignment to his satisfaction he revealed the next mission, task or practice. He tested me as to my adherence to his directives and instructions and my ability and capability to lead others too on his path. The years following 2002 after I read the Nadi for the very first time, till 2005 saw me travel the path alone seeking and looking up towards the forerunners and pioneers in the field, hungry for any bits and pieces of information on the Siddhas. In 2005 Agathiyar introduced me to Tavayogi. Tavayogi pointed me to another Nadi reader and henceforth the readings continued. Tavayogi lead me on doing rituals and charity. In 2010 when Agathiyar arrived in the form of a bronze statue at my home, he brought other seekers together to converge in my home. Soon in 2013 an exodus of seekers came over roped in by Bala Chandran after reading the Nadi for himself where Agathiyar showed him to my home. My home became Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM). Up till 2019, we were truly busy engaged in conducting rituals and puja at AVM and the temples that recognized Siddha worship. We were engrossed in feeding the hungry and doing charity at other times. But all this came to an abrupt end in 2019 just months before the first cases of the Covid-19 virus were traced in Wunan, China. Agathiyar had had us stay indoors and conduct the puja with the family. To those who were keen, he introduced Yoga and asked them to go within. Few picked up the Yoga Asana and moved on to phase two of their lives. 

We do not know what is in store ahead as he reveals the future a page at a time. I pray that what is written in the pages ahead shall bring me closer to the achievement of Ramalinga Adigal. That is enough.

AN EXPRESSION OF DEVOTION

FALLING IN LOVE WITH GOD

First, he is seen as God, both respected and feared. We keep our distance. Then as we get to know him he comes closer as a teacher and comrade. Soon he is a companion and lover. We become intimate and merge together in love. This is how the love for God evolves. Once both lovers merge she sees everything through his eyes. He sees her in everything. 

Similarly, we can easily fall in love with these children.

Abhinaya Mahindren

Agatheesan Bala Chandran

In the Uddhava Gita, Uddhava questions the events leading to the Kurukshetra battle. Here Uddhava hesitantly questions Sri Krishna for what he believes to be inaction on the part of him to intervene at many instances and prevent those shameful events from taking place. Here Sri Krishna opens our eyes to the truth that although we talk about God and his presence we tend to put him aside when we engage in unlawful deeds. This is when disaster strikes. If only we remember every instance of his presence we would never make a mistake. We often listen to our thoughts rather than the Divine and his divine voice or Manasatchi or the inner Self that watches our every move. When Agathiyar is in our thoughts day and night we shall never make a wrong move. An upcoming guru who later fell into disgrace held on to a beautiful concept that impressed me. I took his message and never saw the messenger. He asked us to consider what our guru would do in our place before we even make any move. Bringing the thought and his presence at these times will stop us from making the wrong choices. But he too eventually fell for it, putting aside all his gurus for that one moment, that brought on to him much misery and defamation. But I tend to see the other side of the coin. Maybe he had exhausted his karma and desires but as others' desires needed to be fulfilled certain unprecedented events have to take place. Otherwise, both parties cannot possibly come out of the cycle of karma. Sadly, we do lip service most of the time and brush aside the very principles we hold to at times where our personal and individual desires take hold of us. That is when we are caught in the trap of our own making. Then we rush to him for help. If there is no sign of him we start deriding and accusing him even questioning if he is at all present. That is the mode of man. I too need to remind myself of the dangers, not what is out there but the hidden vasanas that await the right moment to spring up from the depth of my heart. This is where we need a guru to help us deal with this past vasanas and rather than keep them under check, to exhaust them either in the fire of sacrifice, charity, Yagna, or meditation. A watchful guru keeps tab of our moves and saves us in the nick of time provided we do not sideline him at those moments.

Uddhava's story itself is very enlightening. The Deccan Herald carried this story.

Sri Krishna in wanting to enlighten Uddhava gave him an insignificant chore, sending the learned Uddhava to Vrindavan. He was to pass a message to the milkmaids or Gopikas that Sri Krishna was not returning to Vrindavan as promised. Sri Krishna could have asked anyone else to pass the message on to the gopikas. Why Uddhava? In delivering this insignificant message Uddhava learned the significance of devotion to a personal God.

Uddhava promptly went to the gopikas and told them that they should not weep for Krishna and that they should invest their energies in acquiring Brahamajnana. He tried to teach them the virtues the yoga and meditation, instructed them to ignore the body and how these practices would lead to samadhi.

The gopikas told him that they were in Krishna samadhi all the time and were constantly experiencing the three yogas of meditation, wisdom, and devotion.

 The gopikas taught him instead guru bakthi and devotion to a personal God.

Uddhava wanted to impart theoretical knowledge, while the gopikas were instructing him in the priceless value of direct experience. (Source: https://www.deccanherald.com/content/466097/story-krishna-uddhava.html)

Later at the tail end of Sri Krishna's tale, Uddhava is summoned again to bring a message again this time to his Yadava clan informing them of his eventual death.

This was the context behind Krishna’s revelation to Uddhava of the Hamsa Gita or the Song of the Swan otherwise known as the Uddhava Gita.

“The restless mind,” says Krishna to Uddhava, “easily falls victim to the illusion of diversity, which leads to the conception of good and evil and the discrimination between prescribed action, inaction, and prohibited action. By controlling your mind and senses you will see the world in your own self, and your own self in Me, the Supreme Lord.

Read more at: https://www.deccanherald.com/content/466097/story-krishna-uddhava.html

PRANAYAMA IS ESSENTIAL

A friend and reader from Kerala messaged me after reading the last post asking, "I couldn't read it without being physically excited 🙈. Was exclaiming oh oh 😄 etc.. how how wonderful...Pls tell me aiyya, how do we follow our breath?"

I replied to her and shared whatever little I knew and was told and put to practice and realized till now.

"Appa wants us to first become aware of our breath. For that, u have to connect with the breath. Hence the reason for all the pranayama practices. When the breath begins to assert itself u will slowly notice n become aware of it plying thru u. Whenever u realize this moment appa asks us to connect with it now silently sitting n observing it without the need of doing the practice further. Slowly he asks us to follow its travels within. Soon prana or pranic energy takes a ride with the breath n comes within. Eventually, the skin pores open up. The taste buds open up. This energy is further absorbed thru the skin, in taking drinks n food, in having a bath, etc. Food tastes like amirtham. The breath that comes within suddenly starts to have a taste that of sweetness. N many more ma. Pranayama leads to all these. That is something that is god-given."

"Prana sustains us keeping us alive. We just need to tap it n bring it within. Not that it is not available to us now. Yes, it is but in some quantities. Pranayama enhances it to the state of achieving the Pranava deham eventually. Looks like pranayama is very essential in all ways. Appa says following the breath itself is dhyanam. First, u need to start with pranayama. Then you observe the breath. This shall take u within. That is meditation."

I shared Acharya Gurudasan's video tutorial on an introduction to Pranayama that the Kriya Yogi adopts with her that would be a good start. Acharya led us on these techniques and enlightened us when he was working in Malaysia for several years some years back. We are grateful to him to spend his time and share his knowledge and guide us personally through this practices.

OUR CONVERSATIONS ARE HEARD

When I met Tavayogi the first time in 2005, he asked if I had seen the Gnana Kaandam. Sivabalan had told me to see it in 2002. I wonder how many see it for most settle for the Pothu Kaandam or General Canto and the Santhi Parikara Kaandam or the Canto on Prayers and Remedies and leave? Some come back for the Thozhil Kaandam or Career Canto, Tirumana Kaandam or Marriage Canto, or the Prasana Kaandam or the Medical Canto, when faced with choices or problems at work and marriage or fall sick respectively. I believe no one walks up to the reader asking to see the Gnana Kaandam. Sivabalan told me that most don't have it too and asked me to test my luck when I saw the Nadi the very first time. By Agathiyar's grace, I read mine.

As I had hesitated if I should share the recordings of the recent conversations with Agathiyar but eventually went ahead, Agathiyar came yesterday to give the green light to do so, though he asked to write only about my experiences and the teachings he gave us personally. I suppose it is to avoid confusion as there already exist wagonloads of channels and literature on the means and methods to reach God. 

இனி உமது எழுத்துக்களில் உமது பயணங்கள் மட்டும் இருக்கட்டும்
உம்மை நான் வழி நடத்தும் வழிமுறைகளையும் பகர்வாயாக 

If I had written about Jnana Jothiamma in the past several posts and attributed her probable sudden demise to her desire to be with Agathiyar, Agathiyar confirmed it yesterday. For the first time, he revealed or spoke about her departure.

ஞானத்திற்கு ஜோதியாய் இருந்தவளை ஜோதியின் தரிசனம் காண்பித்தற்கு ஆயத்தம் செய்த நிலையில் நான் செய்த சுத்திகரிப்பு அவளின் உள்ளம் ஏற்கவில்லை எம்மோடு இணைந்து கொள்ள அவள் விருப்பம் கொண்டால்

He had wanted to show her the Jothi but she opted for Agathiyar. She preferred to be with Agathiyar. He fulfilled her wishes. Hence we understand why what was prophecized by Agathiyar that she will leave for the USA in 2017 and on route back to India will stopover in Malaysia preaching the Siddha path did not materialize. Her desires overshadowed Agathiyar's wishes.

I was lamenting to Suren and Mahin that the past two years were not productive having stayed at home strictly following Agathiyar's directive and partly because of the lockdowns enforced, Agathiyar tells me that it was not so. Agathiyar answered all the questions and doubts I have had the past two years as I was told to go within. He addressed the disturbances that I faced as the neighborhood became nonconducive for one new to meditation to go within. In September of 2019, he had asked that we go within and gave us some techniques. At the same time, the once quiet neighborhood became a bustle of activity, din, and noise. As a beginner trying to meditate I found it pretty difficult to go within. He told me that even if I were to move into the jungles I would face similar disturbances in other forms. Earlier bringing my dilemma to Ramalinga Adigal he told me that these were obstacles that one has to overcome. Similarly, Agathiyar told me last night that just as there are parasites in the jungle, so are they in the towns that cause anguish, problems, and trouble.

காட்டில் தவம் செய்வோருக்கு இங்கிருக்கும் புல்லுருவிகள் தொல்லையாய் இருக்கும், நகரத்தில் வாழும் உமக்கு இவைகளே புல்லுருவிகள். 

I told Agathiyar that I had failed miserably in the tasks he had given me thinking that I have wasted precious time. But on the contrary, he tells me subtle changes had indeed taken place and there was progress. He explains my recent experiences too bringing me an understanding of the changes that have begun to take place within. I am glad to hear that. 

இவ் இரு ஆண்டுகள் யாவும் பயனற்று போகவில்லை. 

When many can come up with numerous definitions for meditation or Dhyanam, Agathiyar defines it in very simple terms. He tells us that following the breath is Dhyanam. 

நீயாய் சுவாசித்த பிராணவாயு இனி உன்னை கேட்காமல் உன்னுள் ஊடுருவும். எப்பொழுதெல்லாம்  அது ஊடுருவதை நீ உணறுகிறாயோ இருக்கும் இடம் அறிந்து அதனுள் பயணம் செய். கலந்து போ. அதனோடு நீ கலக்கும் தருணமே தியானம்.

As simple as that. I guess that is the reason he wants us just to listen, heed, and follow his words and explanation rather than read, listen, follow, and quote other texts or sources. As it is we are pretty confused when some saints drop all that they have strived for in the material world overnight and leave their homes to the jungles or live in the streets. They shed all their previous hold on things and take up the name of God and take up turavaram or become a mendicant. On the contrary, Agathiyar wants us to stay with the family and achieve the state of a turavi. So it makes sense when he says listen to him and ignore others ways however tempting it might be.

He had asks that we carry out his Vizha or annual celebrations without fail. 

நீங்கள் எமது விழாவை மட்டும் எனக்கான பூசையை செய்து வரவும்.

That usually falls in December or the following January and is carried out without fail at Tavayogi's Kallar Ashram. But until recently he had switched the date for us to celebrate his Vizha to coincide with Thaipusam. He had asked us to extend invitations to all. Is this an indication that the Covid pandemic might subside by then? That would indeed be good news to all. 

He tells me that conducting the Vizha was not for me but for his devotees. 

அவை உமக்கு இல்லாவினும் இங்கு வரும் எம் பக்தருக்காக. 

I recall Tavayogi tell me that he was building his new Ashram/Temple complex not for him but for those who shall come by in later years. I do remember him telling me the reason he began conducting the Maha Yagam too. It was just after the 2004 tsunami had hit the shores of several countries. This tragedy initiated his move to conduct this Yagam and he soon turned it into an annual affair.

He reveals that Goddess Mugambikai and Lord Shiva had interacted with the child of a devotee on different occasions. The child had pointed out to her parents their presence in their households. A similar happening took place at the Sri Jeganathar temple in Tapah in the past. A colleague from my office called me up and related the happening. He had accompanied a friend and his wife and two kids to the temple. As it was pretty late at night they decided to camp for the night at the temple rather than travel back to Kuala Lumpur. As the friend and his wife were attending to the cry for milk of the second child who was a baby, the elder child of two years suddenly let out a cry too. Upon investigating she pointed out Swami Jeganathar's photo and told them that he had carried her! 

Children are still connected with their home, the source. They are divine in nature. The Buddha nature in them is very obvious. What we adults need to do is to travel back to being a child. This lesson was taught by another granddaughter of mine. As she was 16 years of age but used to behave like her younger sister, her mother apprehended her. The teen replied, "Mother my sister cannot possibly come to my level, but I can surely go down to her level and play." The mother was stunned. This is how Agathiyar has come down for us. Agathiyar who Tavayogi showed us as God as we chanted "Arul Gnana Jothiye Agathin Jothi, Tani Perung Kadavule Agatheesar Aavaar" came as a guru leading us by holding our hands. Now he has come as a companion keeping us company in all our tasks. Understanding this change, transformation, and transition in the relationship between the Guru and Disciple, I decided to reorganize my prayer room. Since he had asked us to abstain from all forms of rituals,  I created an atmosphere conducive for him to meditate. I laid the deerskin that Supramania Swami had gifted me and placed his murthy on it. I placed the Deepam or Light centerstage as he had often directed us whenever we gather around him in the past. I placed his sandals on the ground before him. Then I realized that everything had fallen into place just as Bhogar had led us on to bring Lord Shiva to grace our home. Bhogar had us recite the chant "Adhi Sivam, Jothi Sivam, Moola Sivam." I saw his murthy or statue as Adhi Sivam, a replica of the very first granite statue of Agathiyar in this Kali Yuga build by King Kuberan in his temple at Thirumaraikaadu or that goes by the new name Agasthiyampalli. Of course, Jothi Sivam was the oil lamp. Moola Sivam referred to His Holy Feet and sandals as in his Moola Mantra given to us.

Aum Srim Aum Sarguru Patamay
Saaba Paaba Vimosanam
Rowga Ahungaara Durvimosanam
Sarva Deva Sagala Siddha Oli Rupam
Sarguruway Om Agasthiya Kirantha Kartaaya Nama

ஓம் ஸ்ரீம் ஓம்
சற்குரு பதமே
சாப பாவ விமோசனம்
ரோக அகங்கார துர்விமோசனம்
சர்வ தேவ சகல சித்த
ஓளி ரூபம்
சற்குருவே ஓம் அகஸ்திய
கிரந்த கர்தாய நம

I rejoiced in seeing the connections. But when Agathiyar came he tore the veil of ignorance in me telling me that the intention of mine to allocate a spot for him to meditate was not for him but a reminder for us to sit and go into Tavam. I suddenly realized my stupidity. Agathiyar being the Maha Muni had gone through years of Tavam including having taken it up within the deep oceans for some 12 years we are told. The one who now needs to go within is us. 

எம்மை தவ கோலத்தில் நீ வைத்தது யாம் தவத்தில் அமருவதற்கு அல்ல. உங்களை இல்லத்தில் அமரவைக்க. யாரெல்லாம் என்னோடு இணைத்தார்களோ அவர்கள் எல்லாமே தவக்கோலம் பூணுவார்கள். இங்கு நான் அமர்ந்தது போலவே எல்லோரும் அமர்ந்திடுவர்.

Agathiyar is bent on getting everyone who comes over seeking him to go into meditation and not remain forever in rituals.

Once when my wife and I were traveling back home from a wedding in Teluk Intan, a town some 170 km from Kuala Lumpur, as we were cruising through the countryside my wife was desperately trying to hold a conversation with an AVM family member regarding our upcoming puja. She managed to get her message across although the line was extremely bad. Then we spoke about whether we wanted to place lime around the homa kundam or vessel as Tavayogi had initiated. We left it at that without making a decision. On the day of the puja the divine instructed us to place the lime! In a region where there was hardly a decent coverage of the network, how did Agathiyar tap into our conversation, asked my wife? Did Agathiyar travel with us listening on in our conversation? 

Indeed our conversations are head. I had shared all the above with Suren and Mahin and Agathiyar comes along to clarify things. He watches, listens in, and interrupts the conversation too. There was a time when Jnana Jothiamma went silent over Skype only to come back and tell me that Agathiyar had hijacked our conversation. He cut me off and began to talk to her. 

Ain't all these amazing!

LEARNING THE LANGUAGE

As I came from a missionary school, I picked up learning to read and write the Tamil language that was an option and a part of the Pupils Own Language program or POL in school. I had my own cousin sister Miss Indra teach first and Mr. Raman and Mr. Arasu teach me later. Later on my interest in reading Tamil grew because I wanted to keep up to date with the Tamil movies. I was crazy about Tamil movies then learning about the movie, the director, the storyline, casts, songs, and music, etc. Family members would ask me for a review before they decided to see the movie. 

A seat in the very front cost 35 sen. A few rows back would cost 65 sen then in the sixties. A Ringgit would get you a seat right at the back which was first class and that was elevated. A Ringgit 25 sen would fetch a balcony seat. I was often spotted right in front of the stage by my relatives who would report to my family telling them that I would spoil my eyesight watching up close. To keep up to date with the news and development of the Tamil cinema industry I would buy and read the bilingual movie magazine Indian Movie News that was published in Singapore. Later I would borrow other magazines like Pesum Padam from my (Tamil teacher) cousin who used to subscribe to it. She was a fan of Sivaji Ganesan and her husband was a fan of MGR. That is how my interest in learning the language was kept alive. The Tamil cinema kept my interest in learning the language alive. But I never sat for any exam as I had already nine compulsory subjects on hand when I was in upper secondary. The director of the missionary school turned down an additional subject.

I had wanted to become a movie director back then. I also wanted to become a professional artist. Although it did not happen, I kept myself occupied drawing and painting to appease my appetite. I have my family members engage in it though these days. Gowri Arumugam who has made a name in the local music industry is my niece. When she had a request come her way from Tavayogi to sing a song for Agathiyar, she called me up and we put together an album "Agathiyar Geetham" that was well-received by listeners, Tavayogi and Agathiyar himself in a Nadi reading. My daughter who picked up art drew and designed the cover of the album. She has completed her degree in Mass Communication. She had reviewed Mani Ratnam's movies for her thesis. Although I did not make it to become a movie director I ended up making YouTube videos with Tavayogi and Agathiyar as my superstars. I am pleased, contented, and happy that my desires did materialize eventually in another form. Tavayogi too had his hands in the movies making a cameo appearance in two of the movies he financed before he came to be a mendicant. My late father used to run a theatre back in India back then. An uncle used to be a film distributor and owned a theatre here in the past.

When my interest switched to wanting to read about Indian customs and traditions and later about religion, whatever little Tamil I knew helped me through. The day I realized the importance of the language was when I read through the two volumes of the Thiruarutpa compiled by Ooran Adigal which I purchased after listening to the songs by Ramalinga Adigal on cassette. I was thankful that at least I could manage with whatever little I learned to read this great work and others. 

Later when I wanted to compile the many songs of the Siddhas that were scattered all over in numerous books into a compendium of songs in praise of the Siddhas, Kannan of Kelana Computer Center passed me the Sakthi font that aided me in writing in Tamil in the nineties.

But I had always been unsure as to which ண, ன, and ந; ல, ள, and ழ to use for instance. I got hold of books that clarified some of these issues. These days we have many aids besides these books. Google is very helpful in many ways. Online tutorials have been very helpful too. For instance the following channel.

I remember Jnana Jothiamma who was born in Kerala and studied in Chennai before she migrated to the USA tell me that she regretted not knowing to speak fluently and to read and write the language after she came to find that many Siddha works are written in Tamil. The most compassionate Agathiyar surprised her when he told her that she would possess and read the Nadi one day. When she replied that she was not proficient in the language, Agathiyar told her he would shower the gift of proficiency in the language on her. But for reasons only known to Agathiyar she had an untimely death. I believe she wanted him more than anything else. Agathiyar respected the soul and took it back. For instance, a brother-in-law of a friend was bedridden for two years. My friend and her husband referred to the Nadi and without fail carried out all the remedies given on his behalf. But yet he passed away. There is never a Nadi reading for a dead man but here was an exception. Agathiyar called my friends and told them "What am I to do? I know that you had done your best in consulting me and carrying out all the remedies. I told you to keep reminding him to have his spirits up. Only if he is strong can the remedies work and can I change his fate. But sadly his soul had given up. He surrendered and wanted to leave. I had to oblige him."

When Ramalinga Adigal asked if I was reading Tavayogi's book "Andamum Pindamum" which explained the Tattvas, I replied to him that I read but did not understand it. He told me to read it again. If I cannot comprehend then he shall come to explain. Agathiyar in asking us to read the Thirumanthiram which he regards as the Gnana Nool, asked us to read the original text and not those that come with explanations. Though we might not understand initially, he tells us that by reading regularly Thirumoolar or any author for the matter shall come to reveal the essence of their writings.

Tavayogi and Mataji who both had an M.A. in Tamil literature had the tools necessary to spread the teachings of the Siddhas. Tavayogi does not talk much but upon taking the stage can go for hours on hand. Both Tavayogi and Mataji are profound speakers with Mataji able to captivate the audience with her jokes as she keeps abreast with the times. When Nadi readers are trained to read the Nadi, Tavayogi was gifted the Jeeva Nadi that he read and deciphered later. Later he passed on the Nadi and the gift of reading it to Mataji. These reading sessions bring some revenue to the ashram.

SETTLING DOWN

In reaching God, all the saints and Siddhas become an embodiment of love and they shared, spread, and preached the love for God wanting to bring others to experience God. Indeed joy is in sharing.

Just as he gave me a long list of remedies to carry out and told me that he shall see me after three years, Agathiyar broke the group AVM and packed the seekers home to carry out the worship of Siddhas with their families in their individual homes. As for the rests, he said that he shall see them in the future once they have realized the futility of seeking fulfilment, satisfaction and happiness elsewhere. If they had all converged at AVM before, he had them read the blog for updates instead. For those keen to move up he walked us through the phases or Angas of Patanjali's Asthanga Yogam and had us practice it coming often to check on us. 

In asking us to reduce our activities attending only to the essentials; abandon all rituals and puja and only pick them up again when necessary; asking us to stop singing the songs of their praise but instead sing the songs of the saints and their experiences, hence bringing us too to their state of equilibrium, bliss and ecstasy; asking us to move in and within, and asking us to sit quietly and observe the breath, we realize that Agathiyar is bringing us from the state of activity that of Beta to quieten down and relax in the Alpha state initially before sinking further into the state of sleep or theta. But the idea is not to doze off but to be alert and awake says Nagarajan, a seeker, and practitioner of Yoga who shares his experiences.

This is akin to the metaphor "Thongaamam Thoongum Sugam." Arunagiri was told to sit still by Lord Murugan too.

Sophy Burnham in her book "The Art of Intuition - Cultivating Your Inner Wisdom", Jeremy P. Tarcher/Penguin, 2011, explains the various mental states that go on from engaging in activities to sitting still.

The brain produces electrical impulses all the time that have both frequency and amplitude. The amplitude shows the power of the impulse, as measured in microvolts. The frequency is the speed of these waves, measured in cycles per second or hertz, and there are four frequencies beta, alpha, theta and delta.

She says, 

Your state of consciousness arises from the fluid combination of these four frequencies .. and the awakened mind use all four in symphonic harmony.

The range varies slightly amongst the many texts and sources.

"Beta waves ranging from 38 - 15 Hertz are what most people use most of the time while involved in everyday activities. Alpha waves vibrate at and from 14 to 9 Hertz. We drop into a relaxed mode, everything takes on a sacred and holy radiance" says Sophy. Nature itself vibrates at a frequency equivalent to alpha. Being in nature throws us into the alpha state automatically. So we understand why Bhogar told us to love nature and be with nature. 

"Theta waves vibrate at and from 8 to 5 hertz bringing us into the arena of the subconscious and long-term memory." I suppose when Tavayogi told me he had access to his past births and lives during meditation, he must have gone into this state. Sophy writes, "In theta, you are moved by empathy and compassion. The lowest theta frequencies take you into deep meditation and have healing potential. In theta lies mystical and spiritual experiences."

Nagarajan says it takes place between theta and delta. 

From https://www.mindlab.institute we gather the following.

When you are in intense creativity, you are having a mystical theta burst where you engage in deep dialogue with your divine mind and you’ll be surprised by your performance. This is the brain state of “being in the zone” where your work feels effortless.

"Delta waves operate at and from 4 to 0.5 hertz bringing us to deep sleep and restorative rests" says Sophy. "Geniuses and psychics have access to the delta" she adds. 

We learn further that,

They never go down to zero because that would mean that you were brain dead. Research has shown that although one brainwave state may predominate at any given time, depending on the activity level of the individual, the remaining three brain states are present in the mix of brainwaves at all times. (Source: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/what-is-the-function-of-t-1997-12-22/)

Sophy says, "When you are able to access all four wavelengths at will and when you add the power of heightened amplification then you have the attributes of the awakened mind." 

In delta and theta, we consciously create conditions. Hence we can take our lives into our own hands, manipulate and change fate at will, bringing on a new destiny. 

Sophy says "In these levels we enter the spiritual realms in deep humility, compassion, and gratitude which shows in the personalities of the great saints. Moving towards a paradigm shift we enter new states of awareness and understanding exactly what the saints did to evolve spiritually."

Annie Besant in her talks on "The Laws of the Higher Life", The Theosophical Publishing House, 1903, describes these changes.

"The brain has to be changed, refined, improved, its connecting links fashioned and manufactured for the purposes of the expression of the higher consciousness." 

"Here, in the jungle, they meditated making the brain tense and refined by the concentration of the mind, and restraint of lower faculties, fixed in rapt attention on the higher, with the consciousness working from above playing on the physical brain and tuning it to respond safely to the higher vibrations. Then it strove to draw the lower upwards (as Tavayogi says of our efforts that are only till the first two initial stages, Muladhara and Svadisthana) until it answered no longer to the stimuli of the outer world. This is a state of yoga - complete withdrawal of the consciousness from the Indriyas."

"Now making the mind steady, holding quiet the powers of the mind, the mind ceases to vibrate, and it becomes still - able to answer the vibrations coming from above."

Man who wished to make rapid progress escaped into the jungle, that as we know brings him into the alpha state almost immediately. Here he is saved from the constant bombardment of "coarser magnetism of the outer world", where "rougher vibrations" do not assail him. Hence he is less likely to be upset. Yogi Ramsuratkumar too expressed his sadness saying that it is a blessing indeed if one could go into a meditative state in these times where there are a myriad of waves emitted from appliances and gadgets that disturb meditation. Hence we understand partly why people made a headway to the monasteries and secluded places in the past in search of God.

Ervin Laszlo in bringing us an insight into the mind of the child, says,

"Young children up to the age of 4 or 5 are permanently in the open region of activity, alpha region or theta region. Children are in that region until they are 8 or 9 years old."

From https://mentalhealthdaily.com/ we learn of delta waves.

"These are the slowest recorded brain waves in human beings. They are found most often in infants as well as young children."

Henry Wei in his book “The Guiding Light of Lao Tzu”, Synergy Books International, writes that both Lao Tzu and Jesus consider reversion to the state of a child as necessary for salvation for entrance into the kingdom of heaven. In the eyes of Lao Tzu, “the infant with its pristine purity and innocence is the perfect symbol of Tao itself.” 

Children are still connected with their home, the source. They are divine in nature. The Buddha nature in them is very obvious. It's a journey back to being a child. In simple terms, it is a return to the fine and subtle from the coarse, or the coarse to the fine.

THE BLISS IN SHARING

A paradigm shift took place after several years of worship to the Siddhas. If the calling to the path of the Siddhas first came through a Kaanda Nadi reading in 2002, subsequently the Siddhas continued to guide the way through the Aasi Nadi readings after we took heed of their advice and worked on our parikaram or remedies as given in that first reading, and atoned for our past actions. The bridge was built through rituals and continuos prayers and worship, and the Siddhas crossed over from their realm. They manifested as energies and spoke through the medium of devotees shelving the need to speak through the Nadi scrolls or oracle.

On the eve of the pandemic in December of 2019, Agathigar brought to a close all our activities including the said rituals and charity programs. He asked us to go within on a journey of a different kind, that would bring us to know our soul and our purpose in coming. He came in January the following year to guide us on going within.

Just as I had compiled a compendium of songs in praise of the Siddhas, I had compiled and documented the fifty-eight Nadi readings and the direct revelations in person that we were blessed to hear from the Siddhas. If I had shared several Nadi readings on YouTube and Podomatic earlier, I thought that I should share the recordings of our conversations with the Siddha energies, and began to work on organizing them in chronological order on my laptop. Though I had gone through the folders and files to ascertain that nothing of value was on my laptop prior to resetting my windows, I guess I must have overlooked these recordings. I had lost them. I tried to retrieve the files using file retrieval software, but as I came to know later the reset to a fresh installation of the OS wipes out the entire contents of the disk and cannot be retrieved. I thought Agathiyar did not want it to be made known hence the reason for the accidental erasure. But going through numerous other hard disks later, I managed to retrieve a copy of the said files, minus a few that were damaged/corrupted and would not play. I guess it is all right to share after all.

SHARING TO ENLIGHTHEN

Sharing means "having or giving a portion of (something) with another or others; use, occupy, or enjoy (something) jointly with another or others; possess (a view or quality) in common with others; have a part in (something, especially an activity)." (Source: Oxford Dictionaries) Sharing could also be of one's knowledge as do the Professors, teachers, and academics; experience as in the old and wise passing down their wisdom and advice; and personal experiences that one feels will bring cheer to another, motivate him, etc. 

To enlighten means "to provide someone with information and understanding, or to explain the true facts about something to someone." (Source: Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary & Thesaurus)

The Siddhas have left behind volumes of written scriptures that publishers like Thamarai Noolagam Chennai have made easily accessible to the masses. Ask anyone where to buy books on Siddhas they shall point us to this publisher. They have become synonymous with the name Siddhas. Ramalinga Adigal gave us the Arutpa, a compendium of songs that described his experience in seeking and wanting to return back to God's kingdom. Imagine the great loss or void that we would have felt if he had not shared them. Paramahansa Yogananda chose to write his autobiography that has come to change many individual's lives. His book introduced me to the existence of godly men or gurus. I guess after reading it I could bring myself to accept gurus both in the flesh and in subtle form too. Gandhi gave us his autobiography that shed light on his life, principles, and his mission. Many adopt his principle of Ahimsa to this day. Many an author whom I have mentioned and taken excerpts from their texts and books as references in this blog had shed light on things that were beyond our understanding but that we went through too. Nagarajan, in wanting to become divine, chose to share his experiences and understanding as he began to put them into practice in his YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/NagarajanRV

Carl Sagan in describing the miracle of the written word says,

For 99 percent of the tenure of humans on earth, nobody could read or write. The great invention had not yet been made. Except for firsthand experience, almost everything we knew was passed on by word of mouth. As in the children’s game “Telephone,” over tens and hundreds of generations, information would slowly be distorted and lost.

Books changed all that. Books, purchasable at low cost, permit us to interrogate the past with high accuracy; to tap the wisdom of our species; to understand the point of view of others, and not just those in power; to contemplate — with the best teachers — the insights, painfully extracted from Nature, of the greatest minds that ever were, drawn from the entire planet and from all of our history. They allow people long dead to talk inside our heads. Books can accompany us everywhere. Books are patient where we are slow to understand, allow us to go over the hard parts as many times as we wish, and are never critical of our lapses.

(Source:  https://www.brainpickings.org/2017/11/08/carl-sagan-books-reading/)

If once we loved to have stories told or read to us, and picked up the reading habit ourselves, these days only a select few read has the generation has moved on or rather back to preferring to be read to as in audiobooks. Many have moved on to other forms of media to gain knowledge. YouTube videos have made a great impact on the way people accessed information, replacing television, and newspapers. The advent of the internet to the masses and the many media forms have slowly replaced the need to flip pages to reach a particular search with just a click of the browser tabs. 

This blog was an offshoot of my earlier websites including indianheartbeat. It was created to showcase my artwork literally keeping it intact and free from dust as my collection of art on canvas and paper was deteriorating and collecting dust. After returning from my maiden journey to India in 2003, I documented my journey. This surprisingly had a following with many getting in touch with me and later ending up visiting my gurus Supramania Swami and Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal whom I had written about extensively. This was my way of giving back to my gurus for coming into my life and bringing a profound change. I shared the joy of meeting them, speaking to them, journeying with them, etc. Readers liked the stories that were told on these pages. In 2013 I switched to blogging for ease of embedding media into my stories. To date there are 2615 entries, many might be repetitious I acknowledge. What is written is for me too for in looking up the references and explanation to my experiences I too learned many a thing with you readers. 

I am happy that my daughters too have begun sharing their thoughts, and experiences with others. When my elder daughter broke her leg in an accident and was laid for some nine months, she wrote her experience where she documented these trying moments and painful experiences.  http://berrysweetprincess.blogspot.com/2011/04/caring-malaysians-kindness-helps-ease.html,  http://berrysweetprincess.blogspot.com/2011/04/learning-to-walk-again.html, and at  http://berrysweetprincess.blogspot.com/2011/04/autologous-conditioned-plasma-acp.html 

Until we were faced with no other option but to place a titanium rod implant as she had felled into the 5 % category of patients who had nonunion of their fractured bones, the good doctor suddenly suggested if we would like to go for ACP that was widely used in the USA for sports injuries. That day we learned about an alternative treatment called Autologous Conditioned Plasma.

Fifteen ml of blood is taken from your arm with a specially developed double syringe. Then, in a centrifuge, the anti-inflammatory and restorative components are separated from the rest of the blood. This blood plasma is kept separate in the double syringe. The active ingredients are injected into the diseased joint under local anesthesia.

In her case, it was administered at the spot of fracture. She recovered fast.  

Today my second daughter shared her experience on YouTube, which I had briefly mentioned in past post. As she wrote "As many people including myself had never heard of this condition, I decided to make a video to shed light on Retinal Detachment and my experience with it", sharing is also about enlightening others.

She is currently in South Korea doing a student exchange program. She was to go over for the spring semester but circumstances were not in favor. But the delay was all a blessing in disguise as we came to know. We discovered her eye condition that needed surgery. Imagine if she had left and came to know about it later. 

THE JOURNEY THUS FAR IN BRIEF

The earliest memories of me are a timid and shy kid. I would never go against the elders taking in all that is said and giving back only a smile. This changed as I joined college where I chanced to read a book in the college library. Though I cannot remember exactly the title and the author of this book that would change my approach to life, it taught me to say "NO". I began to say "NO" since then that has saved me from being entangled in others' problems or ending up victims to circumstances. 

I was good at drawing humans and portraits as a kid. Seeing my ability to draw well my class teacher of Malay origin had requested I draw something that represented the Indian community. I drew a couple of posters of classical dancers. I remember as an eight-year-old, carrying the canvas home and carrying the completed paintings with me walking to school. I did not see it again until I went up to the secondary level, I saw my paintings grace the assembly hall of the school.  It gave me much joy seeing them hang from the walls.

I drew on the wall of my family home as a kid, depicting the scene where the lady saint Avvai who interacts with Lord Murugan seated on a tree branch learns that all knowledge gained is only tiny weeny compared with what is not known. Later as a teenager, I drew pictures of Gods as murals on the walls of the small temples that my brother-in-law renovated/rebuilt in places he was posted upon requests by the workers from the manual group in the Public Works Department.

If art came easily, reading and learning did not come easily though. Later in secondary, I struggled with Physics, Chemistry, and Additional Maths. After finishing the secondary level, I followed in the footsteps of my brother-in-law enrolling in a Certificate Course in Civil Engineering at a Polytechnic. Landing a job later in a coastal town in the eighties I took up puja in my bachelor home and frequented the temples to pass my time after work. I took to reading books on culture and tradition and later was drawn to religion. All these stopped after 8 years. When I was on the brink of going cuckoo over all the stuff I had read and saw that it did not tally with what was happening in the lives of others, I began to seriously doubt God. I was coincidently transferred back to my Hq bringing an end and a close to this chapter. Even if I had wanted to continue the small room that I and my Muslim colleugue rented in the city did not permit me to do so. There was a 14 year period of hibernation where I only attended to work and the new family that came along. Occasionally I frequented the temples for the sake of my daughters. But even as I had stayed away as told by Lord Shiva, their gaze was always on me. I was called back to the path of devotion in a mysterious series of events. If I had taken up worship of the pantheon of Gods and Goddesses from my parents since young, I was now given my very first mantra that of Vasudeva and asked to worship Lord Shiva in the form of Dhakhanamurthy in preparation to meet my guru. I was asked to observed the Navarathri puja that was days away too. The following year in 2002, the calling came to read the Nadi. The calling came in the Nadi to come to the worship of the Siddhas. This was entirely new to one who only knew the Gods and Goddesses. I took up the calling. As my seeking for guidance from existing movements run in the name of Siddhas was not fruitful, I turn to go solo relying on books and the net. Seeing the lack of information or rather the limited and often repeated mythological stories of them in books and the net, I set to compile a compendium of songs in praise of the Siddhas for my use and other seekers sharing it online. 

Seeing my yearning and struggle to know more about him, Agathiyar sent along Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal to initiate me officially into the Siddha path. I followed him to his Kallar Ashram a month after he returned to India. I started to create websites that carried stories of my maiden travel to India. I never realized that it would reach many until I came to receive emails from seekers wanting to know about Tavayogi and his Kallar Ashram. On subsequent trips to Malaysia, he saw to it that we took up rituals and Yoga. 

In 2010, Agathiyar arrived as a bronze statue, to our shores. Again he roped in my brother-in-law asking him to provide a place in his Mrithiga Brindavanam that he was to build shortly for Sri Raghavendra. My brother-in-law agreed. But seeing us take up his calling to come to worship of the Siddhas and the 8 years of devotion towards him he gifted himself to us and stayed at my home for good and had another devotee place a statue of his at the Brindavanam. 

A seeker from Kerala who had migrated to the USA knocked on the door of Kallar Ashram and was received by Tavayogi and Agathiyar after reading my website indianheartbeat. She came to be known as Jnana Jothiamma later. Surendran knocked on my door after reading my posts too and has since remained faithful to Agathiyar while many others came only to go their ways later. In 2013 many others were sent over after their Nadi readings to learn the Siddha Puja. My home took the name Agathiyar Vanam. The numbers grew. We could then engage in doing charity on a larger scale. Amudha Surabhi was formed for this purpose. 

Although the department upgraded us to the Diploma level and I had an interesting career, but after 36 years the urge to leave the service and spent more time with Agathiyar rose in me. I submitted my option papers. Unsure if I had taken the right move, Agathiyar came in the Nadi to acknowledge my move as proper and timely. I retired in 2016. Agathiyar had kept me even busier since then. I was occupied by the periodical puja at AVM and having visitors besides continuing to write, moving away from maintaining the earlier websites to blogging and hosting the YouTube channel.

At the height of our fame and success, Agathiyar broke the group. He had me stay away and cease all prior activities too. Many could not take it though. Neither could they understand the play of Agathiyar. I came to comprehend his play slowly. I am glad for all that has taken place, for he has broken our hold on all things impermanent, a crucial lesson for one on the Siddha path.

He had us go within, carrying out puja in our individual homes. He had us go within, carrying out the Yogic practices that were put on hold for some 8 years. He had a new lesson and curriculum for us now. Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal took the class, bringing us closer to know the Atma or Soul. Sadly only a few were keen to take up the calling. Many still are attracted to the world and its enchantment said Agathiyar and added that they shall come around in good time. Meanwhile, he asked the remaining few to march on and not wait for others less we miss the boat. 

GOD'S CHILD

There are numerous Nadi readings that are shared in the media these days. When I read them and share them with my wife out of disbelief, she tells me that I should not read them for they are not meant for us. How true. Even my daughter asks me why should I read them when Agathiyar speaks to us. This reminds me of Tavayogi who always reprimands us telling us why do you need Nadi each time we stand before him for a reading. I remember Tavayogi tell a devotee from Tiruvannamalai who had joined them in the Pournami Puja at Kallar Ashram several days before my arrival that he should wear the Rudraksha with care when asked if he could wear it on him. After he left Tavayogi turned to me and told me we do not need it. This reminds me of reading about how Bhagawan Ramana would praise an artist about the greatness of music and tell another to do something else when asked about choices in taking it up as a career. I have come to understand that each devotee and seeker is addressed individually.

This is how my wife comes in a timely fashion to either point out certain flaws in me or save the day. Once when I was figuring out where to hold our annual event of lighting 108 oil lamps as we had decided not to do it again at Batu Caves as we had to endure the noise and dust pollution due to the renovations carried out in the cave temple the previous year that continued on to that year too; and when another temple in Kajang wanted us to take up an Ubayam when we just wanted to light the lamps in the temple grounds; and when I had gone to the extend of googling for all the temples in Kuala Lumpur and Selangor, my wife asks me to call up the Sri Mayuranathar Srimath Pamban Swamigal Temple in Dengkil. The management agreed immediately to allow us to light the lamps and further to it requested that we jointly conduct a Siddhar Puja including lighting the Yagam and doing Abhisegam. 

I guess that is the reason Agathiyar loves her more than me. Recently he told us that my wife, my daughter, and Mahin have more faith in him than I. I guess he was referring to the many instances where this trio had surrendered to Agathiyar and left it to him to care for their immediate needs. If every one of us has given his/her thumbprint and gone through the long process of vetting through the numerous Nadi to ascertain the correct one that completely portrays us, my wife was exempted from this process. Agathiyar came in a Nadi reading addressing her without even calling for her presence, without the need for her thumbprint or the need to be present to verify her Nadi through the question and answer session. I guess it has never happened before to any other individual prior to this reading for the Nadi Nool Aasan too was equally astonished. She is truly blessed. 

Tavayogi too had mentioned his surprise as to how she used to get the news first before it becomes a reality. Once she had a dream in the early morning hours where she saw Tavayogi read a text where the words appeared in gold letters and disappeared just as quickly as they had appeared. When she asked him in the dream how it was possible, Tavayogi answered that all these happen subtly or suksmam. Soon it became a reality as Tavayogi began reading the Jeeva Nadi.

She was the backbone of AVM, the root that held it intact and upright, growing and blossoming into a beautiful tree. Hers is the hand that you see performing the numerous Homams and Abhisegam in the videos I have posted on YouTube. I guess people saw her hands more than her just as readers saw my writings and not the writer. Agathiyar wants it that way too. After Agathiyar dissolved the group, he had told her that she need not engage in rituals or prayer henceforth but it was sufficient that she feed all those who arrive at AVM including him and his comrades the Siddhas, Gods, and Goddesses. That is the honor they pay to those who feed the hungry. These souls are placed in a high place. Similarly the couple the Sri Krishna's too are spoken highly of their deeds in feeding the hungry by Agathiyar. 

But not everyone is required to do the same or given the same task. They are told to do that which comes easily to them. Just as Agathiyar told me to continue writing this blog, Gowri Arumugam gave us the "Agathiyar Geetham" in 2018, doing what comes to her naturally, singing. So did others team up with her to complete the tasks. Today in commemorating the 350th year of Bhagawan Sri Raghavendra leaving his mortal frame she has released a cover song from the movie of the same name.

She writes, "This year is special as it marks the 350th Aradhana Mahotsava of Sri Guru Raghavendra Swamy. Aradhana is the day when Guru Sri Raghavendra entered Brindavana and he will be alive for 700 years. A cover version of Azhaikiran Madhavan was something I was waiting for this year's Aradhana. Usually, I will sing this song as my warming-up song before my recordings. Totally unplanned and the rest is magic."