THE JOURNEY

 Follow the Journey

GRANDPA, GRANDDAUGHTER & THE SIDDHAS

 

When I shared my desire to become Light with my 4-year-old granddaughter she replied she did not want that but instead wanted to remain a child forever. She is so right. Poet Kannadhasan wrote the following lyrics mentioning that he wished to forever be a child too, இன்னொரு பிறவி நான் எடுத்தால் என்றும் குழந்தையாய் வாழ விடு.

Goddess Ma came to ask us to cherish the pranks of these children. Agathiyar says it's a joy to be with them. Henry Wei in his book “The Guiding Light of Lao Tzu”, Synergy Books International, writes that both Lao Tzu and Jesus consider reversion to the state of a child as necessary for salvation for entrance into the kingdom of heaven. In the eyes of Lao Tzu, “the infant with its pristine purity and innocence is the perfect symbol of Tao itself.” He goes on to say that one needs to bring tenderness in him. There is many a thing that we could learn from a child. We only need to observe them closely and they shall teach us too.

Imagine being like a little child again and believing everything you hear. There is something so wonderful about that trusting, open-hearted naivete that God loves. The more I have grown up, the more I realize that maturity in Christ is all about “growing down.” It is about becoming a child again. Not being childish but being childlike in our ways and our thinking. (Source: http://www1.cbn.com/Devotions/being-a-child)

Science tells us that, "Young children up to the age of 4 or 5 are permanently in the open region of activity, alpha region or theta region. Children are in that region until they are 8 or 9 years old." (Ervin Laszlo in bringing us an insight into the mind of the child).

"These are the slowest recorded brain waves in human beings. They are found most often in infants as well as young children."(From https://mentalhealthdaily.com/ we learn of delta waves.)

A child is always fully absorbed at the moment be it just looking at a page from a book or playing with his or her toy for hours. Have you noticed how difficult it is to bring a child away from what he or she is doing? They are so engrossed in the task that everything else can wait, even hunger, peeing, or sleep. While absorbed in his or her moment they do not fail to absorb all the sounds that go on around them too. A Chinese neighbors child whom we babysat in the past surprised us by singing the theme song from the Tv serial Annamalai. She had been listening to it while engaged in play with my little daughter back then. I used to wonder what goes on in the minds of these children each moment. I am watching my granddaughters grow up. They teach me a lot. We have a lot to learn from them, for the child is the closest representation of divinity. I would rather be in the presence of a child than a holy man. The child does not put on a face or a show. We have the divine living around us as a child, bringing cheer, happiness, and joy to an otherwise dark world of prejudice, jealousy, anger, and hate. Children do not judge, they do not know right or wrong. Experience teaches them to avoid the flame and love rain. Agathiyar too told us there is no right or wrong; our experiences shall show us which is which. Cherish those moments with the child for he/she shall grow up too and fast and step into the ugly world of adults.

Sariyai and Kriyai are the initial two steps designed by the Siddhas that include participation from children where they tend to follow and learn to do all that we do. Kids are taught virtues that they take on with them throughout their lifetime. Kids who follow their parents during the annadhanam will learn to continue the act of giving and feeding later in their life too. A parent who frequents the temple or spends time doing puja at home will initiate the child to do the same.

It is said that singing aloud can help increase the breathing capacity in children. Going round and round like a top spinning is something children including my granddaughters do. It is supposed to activate and keep the chakras functioning optimum.

Let them hang out with God at the temples, and outdoors with nature. Let them explore God's creations. Join them during these explorations and tell them it is all possible because of God. Instill God in them early. Instill faith and believe. Give them hope and be the strength behind them. Instill bakthi or devotion in them. Later they can be initiated into Yoga and Jnana. Older children can then be taught Yoga and Gnana.

MISSING SEEING THE EVERYDAY MARVEL

Many come to the Siddhas for magical potions and remedies that if taken or done would change their lives instantaneously according to their likings. But that is not how it works. So they leave thinking that Agathiyar and the Siddhas have let them down. They equate their hours, days, and years of worship, contributions, and services and place them on the balance asking that they be rewarded accordingly asking that the Siddhas now help them out. It is like trading a commodity. Tavayogi in pointing to the worship of the Siddhas when many turn up wanting to know a reason for their troubles, problems, and sufferings never intended to dish out a magical panacea. Instead one had to place an effort in ridding himself of his past karma that was the reason behind all that took place in the present. To those who go beyond merely doing the remedies and walking away, but instead begin to come to worship these Siddhas and uphold their teachings, the truth is revealed to them. We are told that obstacles and problems won't go away but the Siddhas shall give us the strength to face them. 

The devotee who contributed her story in a past post mentioned that "வாழ்க்கை உடனடியாக மாறவில்லை ஆனால் அப்பா இருந்ததால் பாரமாக இல்லை" telling us that her life although did not change immediately after coming to Agathiyar but with Agathiyar at her side, she could shoulder her troubles and problems. She messaged me telling me that she started writing for her own strength. Here is a mature devotee who truly understands the workings of the Siddhas and karma.

There are many instances in the lives of seekers, followers, and believers where Agathiyar has come in many ways to lighten their burden or give them strength to go through these tough times. A seeker was surprised at the speed his mother was attended to at the general hospital though initially, she had to spend hours at the emergency unit. As his mother had complained about discomfort in her chest, she was seen eventually and had to wait for a bed. Once admitted to the wards she was operated on that night and a coronary Stent, (a tiny, expandable metal mesh coil that is put into the newly opened area of the artery to help keep the artery from narrowing or closing again) was placed in her. When we visited her the following morning he seemed surprised that the surgery was done the same day.

When my wife was waiting to be moved to another hospital that does gall bladder surgery, many at the wards told her that they had been waiting for days, between 10 and 23 days, to have the surgery done. I took my wife in the early hours of dawn on a Saturday. On Tuesday the visiting consultant summoned the doctors and asked them why she was still there. With his intervention, she was moved the same day, operated on, and discharged. 

My daughter was attended to the same day we went over to the general hospital with a referral letter from a private eye clinic. She had her good eye lasered immediately as a precaution and the other was operated on within days. When she came down with the dengue fever earlier she was warded for a night and discharged the next day. Agathiyar told us in the Nadi that he had come with Tirumular to hike up her platelet count. When I came down with the fever a year later, I had to be warded 4 days since I had fallen several times. The doctors wanted to make sure that I did not succumb to any head injuries or concussions. 

When I had my eye checked too after my daughter went through the operation, I was told that I had cataracts in both my eyes. This came as a surprise as I had a good vision though I wore glasses. Contemplating whether I should wait a while as there was no emergency unlike my daughter whose case was classified as an emergency, contemplating whether I should have my cataract removed at the private eye clinic or head for the general hospital later, Agathiyar drove me to have it done and over at the private clinic. By giving me a sudden bout of grittiness in both my eyes he had me go in for the procedure in a couple of days. The irritation went away just as it had come on after I had the first eye done. 

My other daughter broke her leg and was in a fiber cast for nine months. But she was saved the ordeal of an operation to place a titanium plate. Instead, her leg healed after receiving the ACP injection. 

These are some of the wonders that the Siddhas perform in times of need. They do not remove the problem but give us solutions. They pave the way for all things to go smoothly. They step in when something or a decision is detrimental to our safety or health. 

In any treatment, the doctors would perform the procedures and tell us that it was a success. Their mission in saving us ends there. It is then our responsibility to take heed of all the advice given for a speedy recovery and to take the medicines on time or to turn up for any physiotherapy if required. If we fail to do so, we have only us to blame. 

Besides this, it also depends on our body's ability to recover. Many miss seeing the marvel of the body in play. We should learn to give our body its due respect. Indeed we miss seeing the everyday marvel but look elsewhere and far for other wonders. Cherish the body. Love it. Take care of it. Indeed the body is the greatest miracle that is in play 24/7. A hale and healthy body allows us to go into meditation with ease. Use it to gain the ultimate body that of the body of Light. 

Beyond the body's ability to heal rest his divine hand that is often seen in play. How do we gain the grace of the Siddhas then? Prayer is the stepping stone - the first milestone of this journey. Swami Satprakashananda in his "Meditation - Its Process, Practice & Culmination", Sri Ramakrishna Math, Madras, says "After praying for individual needs, he slowly evolves to include a prayer for others too. From secular interests, his prayer moves to seek spiritual values. Chanting the glory of God and devotional songs arouses devotional feeling within. In the beginning, a seeker of God may use many words in his prayer, but as his understanding becomes clearer, as his spiritual feelings deepen and his faith becomes intense, he realizes that all that he needs is devotion to God. The prayers become shorter, the devotee does not use too many words. He recognizes at the same time that without the purification of the heart devotion does not grow within, that all he needs is God's mercy, so he prays to God just for the purification of the heart. With the purification of the mind and the development of devotion within,  he steps ahead now, he prays to God just for his grace and love for him within."

It was wonderful when I realized how God has come down to our ranks while elevating us to his ranks. The God who we feared and respected; whom we understood to have his residence behind the high walls of the temple; who was said to be only available to us during particular hours of the day became available to us 24/ 7 once we started home puja. With continuous puja a bridge was laid across between both worlds. The Gods and Goddesses and Siddhas and Rishis and saints and gurus walked across the bridge entering our homes through vertical columns of light that served that were portals while other divine beings walked into our homes through the doorways. They became easily accessible to us without the need for middlemen to usher them or speak to them on our behalf. Rather than have us adore and worship them forever they came often to guide us to take up their teachings and practices that had turned them from man to divine. Rather than forever see them as God and we as devotees they suggested we transform into them too.

So when Agathiyar came to stay in my home, I actually thought that I should create a space in my home conducive for him to meditate and went ahead to rearrange my prayer room. As he had asked us to stop rituals and puja and move within, since there would not be any libation, homa, etc I placed him on a pedestal over which I placed the deerskin that Supramania Swami sat on which he later gifted me. I sat beside him on another low bench made from the trunk of a jack fruit tree that was gifted by the couple the Krishna. He came to tell me that all the rearrangement that he had me done was to create a conducive environment for me to meditate and not for him. Indeed how stupid could I be? The Mahamuni had already achieved the highest state. He does not need all this comfort. It is we who have to sit and bring ourselves to his rank.  

Old age brings us to live in the moment, literally taking one step at a time. Hence the reason why all systems begin to slow down naturally. But the Siddhas never did give in to old age, working on ways and means to retain the physical body in top form. They also discovered that the soul that took up residence in the body needed to be retained in the vessel and together with the spirit of Erai, could live forever, defeating death and ending the cycle of death and rebirth. Understanding this, they found a way to remain mortal.

Initially, regarding the body as an impermanent shelter, Manickavasagar saw the divine in it later. The body that exhibited emotions and sufferings and took on pain now takes on bliss. Manikavasagar upon meeting Erai and attaining bliss could not live another moment separate from Erai. The saints had spent their life with the divine yearning to forever be in their midst and could never bear to be separated. Not knowing the means to permanently unite with Erai, Manickavasagar laments, "I tried to severe this body that has sinned, by all possible means and failed. Neither does the soul free itself on its own. I cannot live another moment without you." He then comes to a sudden realization that this body was not his to take. He begins to plead for Paramukthi, gaining Siddhi with the body intact. He prays that Erai takes him to his abode with the physical body intact. He brings Erai within so that the physical body does not perish and merges with Tillai Ambalar still retaining his body. How lovely. 

Most of us who have taken another birth to live out our desires are ignorant of the gift of this birth and the miracle that is the body and do not have the slightest thought of taking care of it. Besides the ravages of time that the body goes through, we push it to its maximum limits, exhausting it, stressing it, exposing it to the dangers of illness, disease, and inviting premature death. The Siddhas who knew the secret to extend their lifespan took measures and extreme care to upkeep their body. They knew of anti-aging therapy, the ancient rejuvenation practice of Kaya Kalpa. Through the secret science of immortality, they keep their body intact without having it go through the process of aging. They attain immortality with the physical body still intact. They live forever as Chiranjeevi.

THE RIGHT GUIDE

Both I and my 4 year old granddaughter lamented about how boring it was as we had played all the usual games, done the same activities, read the same books, etc when we decided we wanted to fly. That would be an entirely new experience we told ourselves. That was when my daughter passed us several more books that she had selected and bought online which she had kept for a rainy day. To our surprise, all three books taught us to be satisfied with what we had. We went back to our old routine and old games.

The first book we read together was Osborne's "The Tortoise and the Eagle", followed by "King Midas and the Gold" and finally "The Wish Fish". To my surprise, all three books carried the same message for us. In the first story, a tortoise although it had everything a tortoise could want yet it wasn't happy. It was bored with the log he sat on, the apples he ate, and his home that was the shell. He saw an eagle take flight and wished that he could fly too. He tried all sorts of means to do it but failed. Finally, he called over to the eagle and asked him if he would take him into the sky? The eagle asked the tortoise what he would give him in return for the ride? The tortoise answers that he can have his log and apples. In midair, the tortoise suddenly felt dizzy and asked to be returned to the ground. The wise eagle told him that he was not made for flying. He told the tortoise to keep his log and apples and be happy. 

The next story was of King Midas and his greed. He was already rich. Once when he chance to send an old man who was lost home, he was told that his son was God and shall grant him a wish. King Midas asked that things should turn to gold when he touched them. Oops, that was a mistake that he was soon to find out. Initially, he was glad that a stick touched turned to gold, his palace turned to gold too. But when his dinner turned to gold too, how was he to eat it? 

The last story was about Bob catching a magic fish. The fish gives Bob and Bet three wishes. Bob wished to be rich. Bet wished to be richer and richer still. Seeing their greed the magic fish turned them back into their original self and state and returns to the river. 

We too carry many wishes. The weight of our wishes pulls us down. We can never move on to the next state of the Pranava deham if we carry all these wishes and desires along. When we learn to let go, all things come to us. When we hold on to them it drives us into action and moves us to achieve them. That is where we tend to step onto others' feet and take on more load as a result of these actions. Learning to lighten ourselves we brisk through the process of evolving further.

In bringing us within these days he tells me to drop all thoughts of the Self. He tells us that he shall then come within in its place. 

Agathiyar had told me when he came as a bronze statue in 2010 that he would come within me while my soul would occupy his statue for the duration of his stay during the prayer and puja ushering his arrival in this form that coincided with his annual Jayanthi. With continuos puja and rituals he had come within my home to stay permanently even skipping his original intent to go to Sri Raghavendra's Mritiga Brindavanam in Ipoh as he had planned earlier. He had laid claim to my humble home telling us that it was his Vanam or garden. Then he called it Tapovanam or a garden where tapas were carried out. Finally, he christened it Gnana Kottam where he has come to dispense Gnana. 

How was all these possible? By letting go of our wishes and desires and taking on those of the divine. The songs of the saints that we borrowed and recited have borne fruits. Today walking the path and gaining valuable experiences and watching the many miracles or Siddhis performed by the Siddhas, we realize the many truths in these songs, what were mere words on paper back then. These songs are potent and have magical powers to transform us and matter and have our thoughts and askings materialize. We are beginning to realize that the lines and verses from the songs of praise that we gathered, compiled, and recited during our course of puja, was given life and opened up the portal to their world as did the thieves say the magic word “Open Sesame”, that opened the cave of their hidden treasures. For instance, during my early years of search before I came to Supramania Swami and Tavayogi, I had picked up Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar's prayer from one of the numerous books published by his Kudil in Turaiyur and recited that asking for a guru to take me along on this new journey of Self-discovery. 

அகத்தீசா உனது சீடர்களாகிய ஒன்பது கோடி பேரும் என்னை சூழ்ந்திருந்து நான் விரும்பியதெல்லாம் முடித்து வைப்பதோடு மட்டுமல்லாது உன்னுடைய மலையாகிய பொதிகைக்கு என்னை அழைத்துவர என்னை சீடனாக நீ ஏற்றுக்கொள்ள வேண்டும். நான் உய்வதற்கு அருள் புரிய வேண்டும். உனது அருள் பூரணமாக பெற்றல் வேண்டும்,

This constant prayer brought me to Tavayogi and he volunteered to take me to all the sacred abodes of the Siddhas. When Tavayogi took me to Agathiyar’s abodes, he would point out to me that the Siddhas were ushering us, following us, and showering us with flower petals. I would look back at him with bewildered eyes, yet choosing to believe and move on. Today we realize the truth in his words since experience has taught us much. The line "வந்தித்தேன் உந்தன் பாதம் வானமுந் திறந்தாய் போற்றி", from a song in praise of Agathiyar, opened the doors to heaven or the portal or to their realm.

ஐயனே போற்றி போற்றி அருள்பெற்ற தேவே போற்றி
மெய்யனே போற்றி போற்றி மெய்சுடர் அணிந்தாய் போற்றி
கையனே போற்றி போற்றி காசினி முனிவா போற்றி
உய்யனே எனையாட் கொண்ட உந்தியில் உதிக்குந்தேவே
உந்தியிலுதிக்குந்தேவே ஒருபொருள் உகந்தாய் போற்றி
சிந்தையில் நினைந்த போதே திருநாட மிட்டாய் போற்றி
வந்தித்தேன் உந்தன் பாதம் வானமுந் திறந்தாய் போற்றி
அந்தித்தேன் குருவே ஐயா அடியினைப் போற்றி போற்றி.

Having had these experiences walking the path shown, we then had the courage to pen the lyrics for "Agathiyar Geetham", an audio compilation in honor of Agathiyar, an idea mooted by Tavayogi to Gowri Arumugam which she undertook subsequently. The song Ariya Payanam beautifully translates our journey into words. Besides our minute experiences we took inspiration from the many scriptures, upadesam of our gurus.

அறியா பயணம்

அனு பல்லவி

அறியா பயணம் தொடர்ந்தோமே நாம் இங்கே
அழியா நிலை பெற்றோமே
மௌன ஞானம் நீயும் அளிக்க
கருணை விழி நீ திறக்க
என்ன தவமோ என்ன வரமோ
உனது பதம் சரண் அடைய
ஈசா அகத்தீசா தரிசனம் நீ தந்தாய்

பல்லவி

போற்றிட போற்றிட துன்பங்கள் விழகிட
போற்றிட போற்றிட நோய் விலக
போற்றிட போற்றிட துயர் மறைய
அருள் பொழிவாய் குருவே
தந்தன தந்தன கவசமாய் நின்றிட
தந்தன தந்தன திரைவிலக
தந்தன தந்தன ஞானத்தை பெற
ஒளியாய் மாறினோம்

அறியா பயணம் தொடர்ந்தோமே நாம் இங்கே
அழியா நிலை பெற்றோமே

அறியா பயணம் தொடர்ந்தோமே நாம் இங்கே
அழியா நிலை பெற்றோமே

சரணம் 1

குரு நான் என்று அறிமுகம் செய்தவர்
ஊழ்வினையை அறிய செய்தாய்
யாகம் அதில் சுடர் ஒளியாய்
வினையாவும் நீயே ஏற்றாய்
ஞானம் அது வழங்கிட வந்தவர்
ஞான கோட்டம் வந்தமர்ந்தாய்
அன்னம் இட அமுத சுரபியாய்
பசியாவும் தீர்த்தாய்
இவ் வாழ்வின் பயன் கண்டோம்
இனி ஏது துயரம் அப்பா
உந்தன் நாமம் இங்கு சொல்ல சொல்ல
மனம் சாந்தம் நிரம்பி இங்கு வழியுதே
அட உன்மேலே ஆசை அப்பா
என் மெய் எல்லாம் குளிர்ந்ததப்பா
மதி நிறைந்து ஒளிர்ந்ததப்பா
நீயே பரமானந்தம்

போற்றிட போற்றிட துன்பங்கள் விழகிட
போற்றிட போற்றிட நோய் விலக
போற்றிட போற்றிட துயர் மறைய
அருள் பொழிவாய் குருவே
தந்தன தந்தன கவசமாய் நின்றிட
தந்தன தந்தன திரைவிலக
தந்தன தந்தன ஞானத்தை பெற
ஒளியாய் மாறினோம்

சரணம் 2

ஓர் மகனாய் உன்னிடம் வந்தேன்
சாலோக்கிய நிலை அறிந்தேன்
சரியை பின் கிரியை உணர்ந்தேன்
சாமீப்பியமாக நின்றாய்
யோகத்தால் அமுதம் பரவிட
சாரூப்பிய படி அடைந்தேன்
ஞானத்தின் கதவு திறந்திட இனி
சாயுச்சியம் எந்நாளோ
இந்நிலையை நான் அடைய
சற்குருவாய் வந்தாய் அப்பா
உன்தன் அழகை இங்கு ரசிக்க ரசிக்க
மனம் பரவசமாகி மகிழுதே
அட உன்மேலே ஆசை அப்பா
என் மெய் எல்லாம் குளிர்ந்ததப்பா
மதி நிறைந்து ஒளிர்ந்ததப்பா
நீயே பரமானந்தம்

போற்றிட போற்றிட துன்பங்கள் விழகிட
போற்றிட போற்றிட நோய் விலக
போற்றிட போற்றிட துயர் மறைய
அருள் பொழிவாய் குருவே
தந்தன தந்தன கவசமாய் நின்றிட
தந்தன தந்தன திரைவிலக
தந்தன தந்தன ஞானத்தை பெற
ஒளியாய் மாறினோம்

அறியா பயணம் தொடர்ந்தோமே நாம் இங்கே
அழியா நிலை பெற்றோமே
மௌன ஞானம் நீயும் அளிக்க
கருணை விழி நீ திறக்க
என்ன தவமோ என்ன வரமோ
உனது பதம் சரண் அடைய
ஈசா அகத்தீசா தரிசனம் நீ தந்தாய்

போற்றிட போற்றிட துன்பங்கள் விழகிட
போற்றிட போற்றிட நோய் விலக
போற்றிட போற்றிட துயர் மறைய
அருள் பொழிவாய் குருவே

தந்தன தந்தன கவசமாய் நின்றிட
தந்தன தந்தன திரைவிலக
தந்தன தந்தன ஞானத்தை பெற
ஒளியாய் மாறினோம்

This song describes the stages we had traveled this far and yet to travel to arrive at the destination. We had been guided well by some great masters and their lineage. We have had the grace of the divine throughout our journey. We have our ancestors watch in joy seeing our achievements. All the simple instructions they gave us since the start of this journey some 19 years ago are making sense today. We see the reason behind them. We have come a long way. The Siddhas have toiled and worked hard on us, molding us into who we are today. Pranam to our gurus for teaching us, taking care of us, and feeding us. May the Siddhas guide us to the Light.

A DEVOTEE'S STORY 1

As devotees of Agathiyar gather today at Kallar Ashram to conduct the kumbhabhisegam and inauguration of Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal's Samadhi Peedham, a devotee recounts how she was brought to read the numerous true-life stories of common people who stood before the late Hanumathdasan Aiya for a reading. She was later to have her Nadi reading at Kallar Ashram. I shall give way to her to share her story, the first in a series of stories to come.

அப்பாவும் நானும்

இந்த உலகத்திலேயே விலைமதிக்க முடியாததும் எளிதில் கிடைக்காததும் எது?

பணம் ? அதிகாரம் ? நிம்மதி ? சந்தோசம் ? நினைத்த மாதிரி வாழ்க்கையா? இல்லை?

 உண்மையான அன்பு. இந்த உலகில் பிரதேக்கியமாக அதைத் தருவது அம்மா. ஆனா அம்மாவிற்கு எப்படி இவ்வளவு  அன்பு? அவளின் தாய்மையினாலே தானே இவ்வளவு அன்பு. எதையும் எதிர்பார்க்காத அன்பு, எதுவும் தனக்காக வேண்டாத மனம், கருணை, கண்டிப்பு, இவையெல்லாம் தானே தாய்மை. வார்த்தை வராத குழந்தை அழுதால் பசியா தூக்கமா ஏக்கமா என்று அறிவாள். தோல்விகளால் மனம் உடைந்து அழும் 50 வயது மகனையும் /மகளையும் தேற்றுவாள். எந்த வயதிலும் தன் மக்களையே சிந்திக்கும் தாய் தானே உண்மையான அன்பின் வெளிப்பாடு. தாய் மட்டும் அல்ல தாய்மையுடன் செயல் படும் அணைத்து மனிதர்களும் அந்தத் தாய்க்கு சமம் தான். அவர்கள் அனைவரும் உண்மையான அன்பின் வெளிப்பாடு தான்.

ஒரு குடும்பம் ஒரு சமூகம் ஒரு நாடு இவற்றை அன்பால் நேசிக்கும் மனிதர்களுக்கே இந்தப் பரிவும் தாய்மையும் உண்டு என்றல், இந்த அகிலத்தை காத்து, சின்ன சிறு எறும்புக்கும் ஆறறிவு கொண்ட மனிதனுக்கும் களிற்கு கூடத் தன் அன்பை பொழியும் அந்த இறைவனின் தாய்மைக்கு அளவு உண்டா?

அவரல்லவா இந்த மனிதர்கள் ரூபத்தில் வந்து தாய்மையை தருவிப்பது…!!! அவருக்கு இல்லாத பெருமையும் புகழும் யாருக்கு உண்டு? அந்த இறைவன் தன் மக்களுக்குத் தரும் மிகப் பெரிய பரிசு கொடை - அவரே தான்.

அப்படி இந்த உலகை ஆளும் என் தந்தை என் வாழ்வில் நிகழ்த்திய உண்மைகளே- அப்பாவும் நானும்.

தோல்விகள் பயத்தை உண்டாக்கும். சில தோல்விகள் வாழ்வையே தலைகீழாகி விடும். அப்படியொரு தோல்வி வரும் என்று அறிந்து என்னிடம் முன்னதாகவே நாடி சொல்லும் கதைகளாக வந்தார் அப்பா. பயம் மட்டுமே கண்ட நாட்கள் என்ன திசை செல்வது என்று தெரியாத படகுபோல் இருந்தேன். அப்போது தான் ஹனுமத்தாசன் ஐயாவின் புத்தகம் படித்தேன். அப்போது தான் அகத்தியர் பற்றித் தெரிந்தது. எத்தனையோ பேர் வாழ்வை மாற்றியவர் என் வாழ்வை மாற்றமாட்டாரா என்று நம்பினேன். அவரை வேண்டினேன், தேடினேன். அதுவரை சில வருடங்கள் சுவடி வாசிக்க அனுமதி அளிக்கவில்லை அப்பா. அவர் மனம் கனிய அவரையே சரணடைந்து தேடினேன். ஒரு நாள் ஒரு மலை அருவியிலிருந்து அகத்தியர் இறங்கி வருவது போலக் கனவு கண்டேன். மிகவும் ஆனந்தப்பட்டேன் அப்பாவின் தரிசனம் கிடைத்தது என்று. ஆனால் அப்போது அவர் வரம் தர வருகிறார் என்று உணரவில்லை. அன்று சித்தனருள் வலைத்தளத்தில் கல்லார் ஆஸ்ரமத்தில் சுவடி வாசிக்க அகத்தியர் அனுமதி கொடுத்த செய்தி வந்தது. அன்று தான் உணர்தேன் அப்பா சரணடைந்ததால் மலையிலிருந்து இறங்கி வாழ்வை மாற்றியமைக்க வருகிறேன் என்று கூறவே கனவில் வந்தார் என்று.

கல்லாரில் என் தந்தை வசிக்கிறார் என்று நான் உறுதியாக நம்பினேன். சுவடி வாசிக்கச் சென்றேன். கனவில் வந்த கருணை சுவடியில் விவரிக்கவில்லை. முன் ஜென்ம வினைகளின் தொகுப்புகள் மட்டுமே தந்து அதை விலக்கச் சில பிரார்த்தனைகள் சொன்னார். இறை நம் கனவில் வருவார் அவரை உணரும் உணர்வு உள்ளவர் என்ற கர்வம் தவிடு பொடியாக்கினார். நாமும் வினைகள் கொண்டு எப்படியாவது இறைவனை தொட போராடும் சாதாரண ஆன்மாவே என்று உணரவைத்தார். ஆனால் அவர் சொன்ன பிரார்த்தனைகள் செய்தவுடன் நான் வணங்கிய, தெரிந்த அனைத்து தெய்வங்களும் என் கனவில் தோன்றி வழிநடத்தினார்கள். கர்வம் இல்லை ஆனால் அனைவருமே என் மக்கள் நானே வந்து வழிநடத்துவேன் என்று இறைவன் புரியவைத்ததாக உணர்தேன்.

வாழ்க்கை உடனடியாக மாறவில்லை ஆனால் அப்பா இருந்ததால் பாரமாக இல்லை. ஒரு நாள் கூறிய பிரார்த்தனைகளைக் கூட முடிக்கமுடியவில்லை. அப்போது மனம் வேதனைப்பட்டு அப்பாவிடம் பேசிவிட்டு சென்றேன். மனம் தானே பிரச்சனை என்று நினைத்தவர் அன்று ஒரு நாள் மனமே இல்லாத தியான நிலைக்கு என்னை மாற்றினார். நான் பத்மாசனம் இடவில்லை. மூச்சு பயிற்சி செய்யவில்லை. உட்காரவில்லை. ஆனால் மனமே இல்லாமல் நினைவுகளே இல்லாமல் ஆனந்தமாக இருந்தேன். உண்மையான உற்சாகம் ஆனந்தம் கிடைத்தது. எவ்வுளவோ முயன்றும் மனம் சிந்திக்க மட்டும் மாட்டேன் என்றது. எத்தனையோ பேர் கடுமையான பயிற்சிகள் செய்து பெறும் அனுபவம் எனக்கு அவரே தந்தார், இதை நோக்கித்தான் செல்ல வேண்டும் என்று உணர்த்தினார். அதுவரை விரக்த்தியில் இருந்த நான் உற்சாகம் அடைந்து மீண்டும் இறைவன் மீது இருந்த அதிருப்தியை நீக்கினேன். அன்று இரவு A.C. மிகவும் குளிர்த்தந்தது. அந்தக் கயிலையில் வாழும் ஈசன்கூட இந்தக் குளிர் தாங்கமாட்டார் என்று நினைத்து உறங்கினேன். அந்த இரவு ஈசன் கனவில் வந்து இப்போதுதான் என் நினைவு வந்ததா என்று வினவினார், பயந்து இல்லை அப்பா நீங்கள் இல்லாமல் எதுவம் இல்லை என்று வணங்கினேன். நம் நினைவைக் கூட அவர் அறிவார்.

WITHDRAWAL

If Agathiyar had subtly initiated my move to retire early in 2016 at 56 and take up puja and charity full time at AVM, if AVM reached its zenith then with the arrival of Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal the same year to acknowledge that the seed he sowed on Malaysian soil had grown into the Agathiyar family, Agathiyar brought all these activities to an abrupt halt in 2019. Many could not comprehend the move to close the group that was the talk of the town. Many I suppose felt hurt when they were removed from the Whatsapp group and were questioning the move. But I knew the hidden hands of Agathiyar had driven me to close the group. To those few who truly understood Agathiyar he brought them to the next phase that of Yoga. Agathiyar had me teach the techniques that Tavayogi had taught me in 2008 to Mahin first and later had Mahin teach to the handful who kept coming back. As for me, he told me to engage in only the pranayama exercises which he said I will know. I guess it was to avoid any recurrence of my back pain. If I thought clearing my throat had tugged the sciatica nerve causing excruciating pain that radiated from my lower spine and buttocks down to my right leg, after bearing the pain for close to three years Agathiyar tells me that it was not so. The yoga asanas and pranayama that I had diligently put into practice learning them from Tavayogi had initiated many subtle movements of energy within that had brought an imbalance in the three Dosas and opened up the dormant and revived the sluggish chakras within to awake and move to higher regions. 

Agathiyar also wanted me to go within giving me certain techniques to follow. Ramalinga Adigal too came along to monitor me. It was pretty apt and timely that the pandemic came on in the footsteps of the partial closure of AVM as I had more time with myself. Agathiyar who stopped all forms of worship, puja, and rituals at AVM also brought a stop to all our charitable activities telling us to let go. He told us that others would take up the responsibility. True enough he handed these to others who volunteered. The families who looked up to our donations and charity never went hungry for the deed continues till this day taken up by other charitable souls. Agathiyar told me not to leave the home except for the essentials. Two years passed by swiftly. 

Sitting back and reminiscing the past I saw these two years as wasted, for there was no useful service nor activity either to the self or others that we did. When I thought I had wasted the past two years staying indoors, due to the frequent lockdowns in view of the pandemic, and also asked to do so by Agathiyar, Agathiyar came recently and cleared the air telling me it was not so. I could not understand how the isolation had benefitted me as I did not see any obvious results. 

Sharing my lamentation and sadness with Mahin, he cleared the air implying that I see the whole episode from a different perspective. If we had been saddened that Agathiyar had brought an end to all the useful activities done in the past that bridged both our worlds through rituals and puja and opened up our hearts and soul to compassion towards the poor, hungry and unfortunate, Mahin implied that we see it as a journey of nonactivity and withdrawal. Indeed we had withdrawn within as we stayed indoors spending the time with Agathiyar sitting in silence and contemplating. We stayed indoors and carried out pranayama that worked silently and subtly within. As a result today on my 62 birthday I am bathed and drenched in Prana. If it needed the effort to bring in this vital energy within initially through the various breathing exercises, if it needed a concerted effort on my part to bring myself to wake up during the early hours of dawn to sit for my practice, now it nudges me to sit whenever it comes on. The prana is inhaled by the very pores of my skin filling the body with an enormous amount of air, prana, and vital energy. As Swami Muktananda his book ‘Secret of the Siddhas’, Siddha Yoga Publication, 1980, says, "It produced in me both inner heat and the coolness of joy", if during the early years of tapas and practice extreme heat said to by Tava Kanal arose within, these days its sheer coolness that pervades within and envelops the body too. 

So it seems that after all the activities we are asked to withdraw and go within, paying attention to and follow the breath. Now I understand how Tavayogi's definition changed according to times or rather our understanding and the stage we stood on. If having taken us as a disciple, initiating us into Agathiyar's mantra, after I told him that Agathiyar in my Nadi wanted me to come to the Siddha path; we listened to him address those who came with the problems clarifying that their sufferings were due to Vinai or their past deeds or karma and showing them to the worship of the Siddhas by reciting their names; once we came to Agathiyar he showed him as God to us. As we took a strong hold of Agathiyar's feet he pointed out to us that the Vasi or breath was God. 

Life starts with the very first breath breathe into us and ends when the last breath leaves us. It is said that man lives a lifespan equal to the number of breath assigned to him. So does all creation. The ideal way of the Siddha is to extend one's breath count by bringing in more prana within. When he connects with the Prapanjam and learns to tap into it, he is sustained by this prana. He then shall choose the time to leave rather then be robbed of his life abruptly as his count is exhausted or it's time out for him. This reminds us of the movie "In Time". In it, people buy, steal, transfer, or gift others time adding on years and youth.

In 2169, people are genetically engineered to stop aging on their 25th birthday, when a one-year countdown on their forearm begins. When it reaches zero, the person "times out" and dies instantly. Instead of using paper money, a new economic system uses time as currency, and each person has a clock on their arm that counts down how long they have to live. Time has thus become the universal currency, transferred directly between people or stored in "time capsules". Several major areas called Time Zones exist within Ohio. Dayton is the poorest, a manufacturing "ghetto" where people rarely have more than 24 hours on their clocks; in New Greenwich, people have enough time to be essentially immortal. (Source:https://en.wikipedia.org/)

The breath is of utmost importance especially in current times of the pandemic where many gasps for air, struggling to breathe in the overburdened intensive care units of the hospitals. As Katherine A. Mason wrote at  https://www.sapiens.org/culture/covid-19-air-pollution/, besides a lifetime of breathing polluted air, now mankind is faced with suffocation as a result of the dreaded virus. Then we had the lockdowns that suffocate us further. I guess it is a lesson for us to cherish the birth and the breath too. If the human birth is said to be rare and the breath is vital in sustaining us, the vital breath or prana is vital in sustaining life or the Spirit within. When both Body and Spirit are sustained only then can we know our Soul or Atma. 

My 4-year-old granddaughter today surprised me with a Birthday Greeting that she wrote and drew.

AUDIOBOOK

As I did mention some readers prefer an audiobook rather than read through the text, I append below an audiobook of my last post.