BRINGING THE HEAVENS DOWN

Agathiyar is educating us on how intense our prayer should be. For instance, when the sisters Shamini Rajah and Roshini Rajah sang the songs of praise at AVM in the tone just as they were taught in Thevaram classes, Agathiyar told them to give life to their singing and sing to bring down Lord Shiva from his abode in Kailash. Indeed these sisters brought him down that night of Shivarathri. Similarly, when my daughter gathered her friends and in-laws around in a puja that she hosted in her home, after the Homam ritual, she led them in singing the Mahamantra Arutperunjothi. Minutes into reciting the mantra, Agathiyar who came through a devotee called me over and asked us to recite his name instead. I led the recitation. When some of the attendees quietly recited Agathiyar's name to themselves, while others kept quiet, Bhogar came suddenly and called on each one of them to recite so that we could help achieve the target of a thousand chants that Agathiyar had decreed. He went around getting each of them to recite his name loud and clear. 

I wonder if when we gather and socialize we can be loud and cheery, why can't we sing the praise of the Lord in that manner too? I take off my hats to the Hare Rama Bhajan groups and the Gospel choirs in the churches for their commitment and love in singing the praises of God. As for us who are into temple worship, a designated Ootuvar will sing and devotees will be passive. Just as we lack active participation in our concerts, there is a passive mood among us in sitting on group bhajans. But I was surprised to witness a soulful bhajan conducted by a group of youngsters singing in the homes of members as they prepared to celebrate Thaipusam. Hari and Jegan who were part of this group had invited me and my wife when the group stopped by at Hari's home. 

Swami Haridos did a spectacular move in bringing everyone to participate in his bhajan when he was in Malaysia many years ago. The Swami is known to insert his preaching and teachings while conducting bhajans. When I was in Sungai Petani then, I heard that he was to give a talk at a temple. I went over to listen to him. Seeing the audience sit passively while he rendered his songs, he asked us to join in the bhajan. Nothing happened. No one responded. Finally, he said, "அது ஒன்னும் இல்லை. அவர்கள் தோளில் ஏதோ ஒன்று அமர்ந்து இருக்கிறது. அதனால்தான் அவர்களால் கைகளை உயர்த்த இயலவில்லை" implying that there was something sitting on our shoulders that prevented us from raising our hands singing with joy. Those gathered looked at each other and slowly lifted their arms and hands and clapped and sang to the rhythm of his singing. What a strategy the Swami used to get everyone involved in singing with him.

It dawned on me later as to why Agathiyar stopped the newcomers from chanting the Mahamantra Arutperunjothi. Beginners should start with the Guru Mantra and that the Mahamantra that was known to do wonders was for those who had adopted the ways of Ramalinga Adigal in seeking to merge with the Light. 

Recently visiting the home of his devotees, where the host adorned his home and altar with pictures and statues of masters and gurus, Agathiyar educated us that it was not sufficient to keep them around, but we should engage with these gurus, reciting their names. A guru's name should be recited in a manner that causes a vibration, explained Agathiyar. Henceforth, his name would do the magic of transforming us. 

It makes me wonder again why as a child we sing and dance cheerfully listening to songs and music, but can't bring ourselves to do so as adults? Is it that we become conscious of our surroundings?

STAYING CONNECTED

God lives as long as we live. The concept of God dies with us if we do not realize God while alive. What remains is the source of all creations and creation itself - the Prapanjam. As we are it and in it, every action of us triggers a ripple reaction. We contribute towards its being. It explains the reason Agathiyar asked us to do the Homam and later Lord Shiva and Mother Prapanjam herself in the wake of the pandemic that threatened us all. We are alive in it and it is alive in us. 

If we realize God while alive he lives in us both in life and in death. This is Samadhi. We merge in the Prapanjam that does not have a face and a name but is given both when it takes form and name. Learning to realize him as the Atma within, which is known as Jeevaatma, reunites us with him, the Paramatma. We defeat "death" then. Though the body is left behind he lives on in the Prapanjam. When Dhanvantri told us about Tavayogi continuing to live with us as the Jothi and guiding us though we could not understand we accepted it. It could only mean that Tavayogi was still alive and around even after death. Tavayogi while alive would tell us that the Siddhas still live till today in the form of Jothi. Now I understand that he had joined their ranks too. When I asked Agathiyar recently where he, Tavayogi, Lord Shiva, and Lord Muruga were, Agathiyar who came through a devotee placed his hand on my chest. I understood that they were living in me. God lives in us as long as his thought lives on. We keep them alive. Now I understand pretty well what Supramania Swami meant back then. He surprised me by asking me to do tavam for only then could he live on, he said. 

If I choose to see God in an image, a painting, or a statue he materializes in it. If I choose to see him in the temple he is there to give us darshan too. Stating this understanding to him, Agathiyar confided that that was the plain truth bringing on a further understanding that indeed we are God and in his image. 

Watching James Cameron's "Avatar - The Way of the Water" and exchanging notes with Mahindren, he replied that "James Cameron really had some connection with Universal I guess, Anna."

In the opening scenes itself, the director introduces us to Prapanjam through the inhabitants of the world of Pandora. We are told that they have a string of beads each having a story to tell. "A bead for the first communion with Eywa" too. "The people say we live in Eywa and Eywa lives in us. The great mother holds all her children in her heart." At the end of the movie, we are reminded again that nothing is ever lost as Eywa takes everything back into her heart. "People say that all energy is only borrowed. And one day you have to give it back. Eywa holds all her children in her heart. Nothing is ever lost."

It is wonderful to be reminded in the movie again that "The way of water has no beginning and no end. The sea is around you and in you. The sea is your home before your birth and after your death. The sea gives and the sea takes. Water connects all things. Life to death. Darkness to light."

When my mother was laid to rest, her body was cremated and her ashes given back to the elements, the priests who did her last rites told us the same too that my mother was still "living" in the earth, air, water, fire, and space around us.

Further into the movie, the child Kiri, tells her dad, Jake Sully, "I feel her dad - Eywa. I hear her breathing. I hear her heartbeat. She is so close. She is just there like a word to be spoken."

These words indeed rang a bell in us too. As Mahindren pointed out just as they have the tools to connect to Eywa we have the breath that links us to the Prapanjam.

From https://james-camerons-avatar.fandom.com/wiki/Eywa we read further that, "Our Great Mother does not take sides, Jake... she protects only the balance of life."

"The Na'vi all share certain key values even across clans, including their belief in a globally distributed consciousness of Pandora known to them as Eywa. It is also believed that all creatures have two forms: a body, and a spiritual counterpart or soul (vitra). At the end of one's life, the Na'vi believe that the souls of the dead return to Pandora's consciousness before being reborn as living matter in an eternal cycle of death and rebirth. In this way, the Na'vi believe that all energy is temporary and only borrowed by each living creature and that one day, it will return to Eywa."

"The Na'vi view all living things as a single connected system to be respected and cared for. However, they revere certain trees and plants as especially sacred - as places where Eywa herself is believed to reside, such as the Tree of Souls."

Indeed as stated in the piece further that "It makes little sense for the Na'vi to use human terminology for their ancient deity" when confusion arose as to the words spirit and soul used interchangeably in present times I turned to Agathiyar for clarification. It came in the form of a memo that Mahindren took down and passed on to me. Agathiyar clarified several matters that I had posted earlier at https://agathiyarvanam.blogspot.com/2021/10/atma-gnanam.html

IN NO HURRY TO JOIN THEIR RANKS

When there is a strain on a relationship people give up on the Siddhas. When there is a death in the family they give up on them. Even masters lose their grip in these times. But there are some who battle all odds and remain on the path. I guess faith and belief too is like a roller coaster ride for many. I too became angry in the years of my apprenticeship with others who came and went and never remained for a sufficient time to see changes taking place within. Generally, the time specified is some good twelve years before we can begin to see the blessings of the divine shower on us. The reason been the Siddhas do not pass on the goodies immediately but work on our past karma first, help us empty our minds of previous learnings, cleanse and strengthen the physical body, and only after it has been made a perfect vehicle to receive them do they shower us with these goodies. But many do not have the patience to wait that twelve years. They move on to where they can receive immediate results and recognition. These shortcuts are treacherous at times and can kill us. The long but well-traveled path would bring us home in one piece. 

Kundalini has become a household word these days. What was once feared is taught to the masses in assemblies. An advert calls for the public to walk in to receive tons of benefits while another says to drive in as if these are collectibles. Indeed another advertises the number of initiation one receives akin to pinning the awards received on our chest. 

Swami Muktananda in his "Kundalini - The Secret of Life", a Siddha Yoga Publication, published by the SYDA foundation, 1994, describes shaktipat from the guru, as "when the guru directly transmits his own divine shakti to the disciple" which means the guru is now responsible for the student and shall have to monitor his progress closely. I wonder how many masters do that after initiating these freshies into kundalini after a brief session of talks. Here is where the danger lies. Agathiyar told us that the master shall have to ascertain the flow of the breath running in the receiver, his general health and well-being, and whether his body and age can take on the energies that begin to erupt within upon initiation and continued practice before passing it on. 

Swami Muktananda cautions us too adding that the body has to be purified first. "The basis of all disease and pain is the impurities that block the flow of prana in the nadis. These blockages are caused by imbalances and disorders in the three bodily humors - wind, bile, and phlegm. She (kundalini) penetrates all 720 million nadis consumes all the old decaying fluids, then releases vital energy into them all. The nadis become filled with prana. It is only after the body has been purified that the shakti can work with full force. "

Swami Kripananda author of the "Sacred Power (Kundalini)", and "The Guru's Sandals" in writing the introduction for Swami Muktananda's "Kundalini - The Secret of Life", a Siddha Yoga Publication, published by the SYDA foundation, says that,

"This knowledge (of the kundalini) was so well hidden, in fact, that when Swami Muktananda received kundalini awakening from his own master Bhagawan Nityananda and began experiencing its effects, he had no idea what was happening to him. He wrote his first great work the spiritual autobiography "Play of Consciousness" to prevent his own students from running into the same confusion and to help them understand the process unfolding within them.

Swami Kripananda gives us a reminder "that it is not enough for the guru to awaken kundalini. The guru also controls and regulates the process helping to remove all the blocks and obstacles in the disciple's path until the disciple attains the ultimate realization of the self. Being one with the inner energy the guru can accomplish this on a subtle level from within."

Swami Kripananda writes further that "Because he has merged his individual awareness into the divine the guru can serve as a pure vessel through which its pure energy flows. It is this transmission of divine energy which awakens and guides the kundalini."

Swami Kripananda says bit by bit as it moves through the subtle system, blocks are removed, addictions fall away, and one's life is set in order. Ultimately the experience of the self becomes constant. Hence nothing happens overnight. It is bit by bit that the Kundalini unfolds and travels within. 

John White echoes the same in "Kundalini, Evolution and Enlightenment".

"Seek to refine your character and cultivate your mind through selfless service, discriminating studies, and dedicated spiritual train­ing. Do that, and kundalini will awaken gently, automatically, and without the unhealthy effects that are being seen more and more frequently." Hence we see the need to wait patiently for those twelve years to pass by before seeing any results.

M. P. Pandit writes "What is being laboriously attempted, dangerously pursued, and problematically achieved in kundalini yoga can be assured in a yoga like Sri Aurobindo's in a very natural way by throwing oneself open to divine consciousness and grace, letting it descend into oneself, and letting it decide which centers of consciousness are going to be operated upon, which one is most open and ready. It is more in the natural way of evolution to let things develop in this manner rather than having a systematized procedure."

Alice A. Bailey writes that "When this process is carried forward with care and due safeguards, and under direction, and when the process is spread over a long period of time there is little risk of danger, and the awakening will take place normally and under the law of being itself."

Swami Muktananda writes that, "After you receive shaktipat meditation starts spontaneously and at that time prana and apana the ongoing and outgoing breath become balanced and long kumbhaka retention of breath begins to take place effortlessly. The prana and apana become even and eventually, the breath begins to be retained within. This is called kumbhaka. In true kumbhaka the prana and apana become one at that point. Prana does not go out nor does apana come in. The prana becomes extremely subtle and moves into the Sushumna and then the Sushumna opens up and begins to unfold. When kundalini awakening takes place through grace it will rise of its own accord and become established where it should be established. Kundalini will take care of herself... when the kundalini is awakened by the grace of the guru the grace itself will guide it in the correct manner. There is absolutely no danger in such a case."

John White even says that "Desiring something-even such a noble goal as the awakening of kundalini is misguided." 

Sri Chinmoy echoes this statement too. "A genuine seeker never considers the hidden powers or occult powers as his goal. He cares only for God. He longs only for God's loving presence in his life. 

Tavayogi never wanted to touch that subject nor initiate the public into this energy. But although he never initiated us into arousing the Kundalini directly in whatever manner, select yogic postures and practices that he taught a handful of us during his visit in 2007, did magic in us in bringing us to experience it unknowingly over the years. Agathiyar revealed later that the techniques we picked up from him and with practice did just that over time. He surprised me in a Nadi reading on 13.10.2007, mentioning that the Siddhas were delighted to see the kundalini sakti arise. உண்டாகும் குண்டலினி சக்தி உனக்கு உயர்வதைக் கண்டு நாங்கள் வியந்தோம் அப்பா. With the Muladhara activated in 2007, Agathiyar monitored my progress more closely. When these energies stagnated at the next chakra the Svadisthana for some fifteen years, Agathiyar broke its banks in 2022 and the energies continued their journey further, by their sheer momentum and flow, without any effort on my part. But he warns me that I have to maintain it at the crown of the head and never do anything that jeopardizes this state, otherwise, it shall fall back to the Muladhara. He says it then shall be a wasted effort on the part of the Siddhas to assist these energies to move to higher chakras. If that happens Agathiyar says that he shall have to reprimand me. This was a stern warning from him. 

We are grateful to Tavayogi for showing us Agathiyar and not projecting himself. Since the day Tavayogi stepped aside and showed me to Agathiyar, Agathiyar took charge and held the reins. Even Lord Muruga backed off telling me that he shall leave it to Agathiyar to look into my every need. We are glad that Agathiyar was on hand and had a hand in awakening this super force in us without having to go through much pain and trouble. As he told me he had made it so simple that he could not simplify the process further, reminding me how he had to go through it the tough way. So did Tavayogi quip that I had come to the path quite easily compared with the rough journey he had. I am indeed blessed. I am deeply grateful to them. It was all possible by their grace. How do we gain their grace then? By being a good student of theirs and following all their dictates. This is the basis for all guru-disciple relationships. A bond has to be cemented that survives the onslaughts of space and time. Then even if the master has left his mortal frame he keeps guiding and monitoring us till we join ranks with them. 

Please do not get initiated into Kundalini yoga by any Tom, Dick, and Harry or during mass activation. Find a guru and follow him for twelve years. Establish a bond with the guru during these years. Swami Tadatmananda says that he is completely turned off by the way Kundalini has been distorted and misrepresented. He reminds us not to chase the "experience seeking" that Swami Dayananda Saraswati spoke about to him. His guru had warned him about the danger of "experience seeking" that promises bliss and ecstasy. Swami Tadatmananda speaking about his guru's negative comments on Kundalini Yoga, says of his experiment with Kundalini that "If he were still alive, I might not have undertaken this project". 

GRACE

Last evening a couple of Evangelists, a senior woman, and her junior, dropped by my home asking for my daughter whom they had met several days ago. My daughter was out then. I told them I had a church going in my home too and invited them in to meet my "God" when they began to preach to me. But they did not want to enter. I asked them what were they afraid of. I told them God was one but took on different forms. Furthermore, I told them God was the breath. When the breath stops, we die. God is only alive as long as we are alive. Hence, God lives in us. They left, I believe not quite comprehending what I said, thinking that that was what I believed. 

This blog is not meant to preach and convert anyone. It is solely my journey and those of others whom I have met on the journey, a path shown by the Siddhas. There are many means and ways to reach the summit. This is only one of many that the Siddhas have traveled on and a sure and proven means to arrive there. What they practiced and learned is being passed on to candidates and seekers who they deem as having the potential, and discipline to persevere. Those who have started to walk the journey with the Siddhas are invited to learn more. I, too, am learning many a thing from these posts. 

What one needs on this path is faith in the Guru's words. Telling my granddaughter that I had to return home to AVM last evening to carry out the daily libation to Agathiyar's statue that was commanded of me, she asks me why I needed to bathe him daily. I replied that I do not know, but that I carried out everything that was tasked to me. She followed my wife and me back too.

Diligence and faith in the guru have brought me where I am today. The Siddhas have showered their grace on me and my family and all those whom we knew too. Their grace indeed does wonders. 

THE PHASES

An expansion happens in us the moment we take up the spiritual path. If Sariyai and Kriyai expand our knowledge of these matters having us embark on reading about them and going on holy pilgrimages, Yogam expands this energy powerhouse through breath. Compassion towards others expands. The end of yoga is the beginning of Gnanam. In coming to Gnanam the soul expands. The aura expands. Our share of the Prapanjam expands as we gain back rightful ownership of it. Just as the streets and homes we grew up in seem smaller as we visit them as adults later the space appears tight and small around us as we begin to expand. There is a need to take in a bigger expanse of space to avoid suffocating. The senses expand. Tastebuds, hearing, sight, sense of smell and touch deepen.

The dawn of Gnanam is the state of connecting with the Prapanjam. Living in the Prapanjam feeding of her, connecting in small ways and for brief moments through Sariyai that is introduced by our parents, holding the hands of the guru later we engage further in connecting with her without middlemen through Kriyai and Yoga. We step into her world spending longer periods in her company. Having placed all efforts we come to a stop where she then comes within to drive us now. We become one with her. The journey ends there for man though the journey continues for the souls.

There are only souls. What we see is souls all around us dressed up in Tattvas that maketh this body and several others. While we only see the person and his dress, the Siddhas on the other hand only see the soul and the Tattvas. Hence they address both. 

WAKE UP CALL

In the movie about Walt Disney, "As Dreamers Do: The Amazing Life of Walt Disney" we hear the truth spoken. "In the country, you escape the everyday world, the strife, and the struggle (to make ends meet). You get out to everything that is free and beautiful."

In the wildlife documentary "Borneo - Sacred Forest" in the series "Eden - Untamed Planet" on BBC Earth, we learn that the ancient forest of the tropical island of Borneo that remained unchanged for 140 million years and has 60,000 species of plants and animals making Borneo the biggest biodiverse island, is in danger as we now, in the words of the narrator, are witness to "Wilderness abruptly giving way to oil palm. Paradise has been lost to plantation. In the last two decades, 80 percent of the Orang Hutan's habitat has been felled." 

It brings tears to our eyes watching destruction take place in many ways and in many lands. Mother Earth which took ages to bring forth a conducive living environment for us to live in has today been stripped of its timber and foliage and left barren and the land dug out for its minerals. We see much of the virgin forest fell to make way for plantations, industries, and housing needs. Man destroys the very thing needed to sustain him in exchange for his immediate needs and also a luxurious life. When the world's climate is affected drastically by his greed he pays a hefty price to stay alive. He turns for instance to inventions that purify water and air to survive. We in Malaysia have seen a month of extreme heat that was not seen before. 

Soon man shall make earth completely inhabitable. While nature keeps giving we keep taking. Where and when shall it all end?  

As Pocahontas sings that every rock and tree and creature has a life and a spirit, my granddaughter and I were surprised to see a pod that we found at the park that had dried and burst its seeds and opened up had closed after we set it "sail" in a pail of water. Not believing it we did it again the next day. The dried cracked pod came together when wet and opened up when dry even after many days. 

Similarly, life does not end with death for us. Agathiyar says death is not the end but the start of another journey. Pattinathar sings that we mourn the death of close ones failing to realize we shall pass away one day too. Death is natural. If we rejoice in birth why do we mourn death? 

The Siddhas on the other hand have found the means to evade death. Knowing the secrets to extend life, they prolong the life within the body and leave on their own accord hence beating fate at its game. They overrule the planets that otherwise determine the next course of action for all of us. They are masters of their destiny. In connecting with the Prapanjam they feed off it. The resource-rich Prapanjam keeps them alive for ages.

When Tavayogi shot me and my joy down leaving my home after his first visit in 2005, I did not realize and understand his words. He told me that he had nothing to offer and that I was climbing the wrong tree. He told me to connect with Agathiyar directly. Today I fully understand what he meant that day. He had meant well though his words hurt me and confused me further back then. Recently even Agathiyar who had been guiding me through the Nadi and later coming through devotees took the backstage just like Tavayogi telling me to henceforth engage with the Prapanjam directly. He said the Prapanjam shall provide for all our needs. Thence Ramalinga Adigal came to help us connect to the Prapanjam. Connecting with the Prapanjam one becomes self-sustaining. He exists alongside the Prapanjam and in it. The Prapanjam exists in him.

When the pandemic reared its ugly head Lord Shiva asked us to light the Homam that shall help heal the Prapanjam. Lately fearing a recurrence Mother herself the Prapanjam asks us to carry it out again. As Pocahontas sings we are connected in a circle in a hoop that never ends, indeed just as the mother feeds the embryo and fetus we feed off her. Thus the reason our forefathers worshipped her. Agathiyar lamented once back then to us that no one is following the Siddha Neri or path. We have shelved all good things and become a monster. The Asura in us has gained control over us. The divine has gone into hiding. We need to reach out to the divine to beat the asuric nature within. 

We read at https://sriaurobindostudies.wordpress.com/2014/06/19/the-asura-nature/, that "The Asura does not care for balance, but rather seeks to dominate, control, and master everyone and everything in his path. Blinded by ambition, greed, and power-lust, and drunken with the fruits of acquisition, the Asura lets nothing stop him in his path of domination. Such individuals become blinded to any kind of harmonious balance and are willing to sacrifice other lives, cause enormous pain, and destroy the harmony of the world if they believe it furthers their ambition."

We hear Sri Aurobindo comment on the nature of the Asura: “They see naturally in the world nothing but a huge play of the satisfaction of self; theirs is a world with Desire for its cause and seed and governing force and law, a world of Chance, a world devoid of just relation and linked Karma, a world without God, not true, not founded in Truth. The Asuric man becomes the center or instrument of a fierce, Titanic, violent action, a power of destruction in the world, a fount of injury and evil. Arrogant, full of self-esteem and the drunkenness of their pride, these misguided souls delude themselves, persist in false and obstinate aims and pursue the fixed impure resolution of their longings. In the egoism of their strength and power, in the violence of their wrath and arrogance, they hate, despise, and belittle the God hidden in themselves and the God in man. And because they have this proud hatred and contempt of good and of God, because they are cruel and evil, the Divine casts them down continually into more and more Asuric births. Not seeking him, they find him not, and at last, losing the way to him altogether, sink down into the lowest status of soul-nature….”

I guess these are the souls whom Tavayogi meant have come to see their desires turn to fruition at whatever costs. Here is an opportunity for us to kill the demon in us and take up the course of the divine. Let us become apostles of the divine rather than work on our own desires.

ATMA BALAM

Siddhas invest in us hoping to get returns in the form of a vehicle and tool to do their work for society and man at large. They hunt down potential candidates scanning the Akashic records of these souls to see if they could work on their past karma and relieve them of the burden and baggage they carry and set them on a new journey, a journey that would change one's fate and chart a new destiny. 

That is the reason the guru waits patiently for the right soul to come by at the right time. Though the Siddhas are beyond time and space, but mortals are subjected to the planetary influences and thus the need to scrutinize and arrive at the right moment to deliver or show the path. I did ask Tavayogi why I only came so late in my life to this path at 43 years of age. Tavayogi shot me down saying that at least I had come at this age! I was soon to learn that this was Tavayogi's nature and Agathiyar's too in breaking our ego and molding us. They are fond of throwing another question to the one we place before them getting us to use our brain and think and ponder over the matter and arrive at the answers by ourselves. Only if we fail to understand or do not do something right do they come to correct us. 

Having identified a potential soul the Siddhas have to battle the ego that he or she carries in her that takes control and sends his or her Jeevatma backstage to just observe the play. Once we summit to the Siddhas the divine takes over the show.  Surrender is an important element in this journey hence the reason for us facing all difficulties and obstacles. When we fail to find ways to remove or come out of the sufferings only then do we submit to the divine asking for deliverance. The Siddhas and the divine make an entry into our lives then. But do not be mistaken that life will be a bed of roses the next minute. We have to pull through the troubles and sufferings. These experiences besides giving us a learning and lessons it strengthens the soul power and we gain Atma Balam. Only such souls can battle the times to come walking the Siddha path as a Siddha. Neither do existing conditions change the moment we step into the shoes of a Siddha. All troubles and problems will avail us, but we then have the strength and patience to either deal with or ignore them.  

THE GURU

Another couple were introduced formally to the ritual of lighting the homam and reciting the names of the Siddhas yesterday taking up the call by Tavayogi to turn each home an Agathiyar Vanam that was conveyed by Lord Murugan to us recently. In concluding the puja Agathiyar educated us on Guru Bakthi or devotion to the guru. He told us that merely placing paintings, photos and statues of one's guru was not enough. One had to engage with them. In asking me to help out with the names of the 18 Siddhas that he asked the couple to name, I could not go beyond the name of Agathiyar. I told him that I only knew him to which he concluded my statement saying that all was within him (அனைத்தும் என்னுள் அடக்கம்).

After taking up his call in the Nadi and coming to worship him and the Siddhas, Agathiyar called upon me to visit several other places and gurus in residing. I refused to move. I told him that I had "discovered" him and Tavayogi and I was not going places anymore. If he was to give me things at these places that he called me to, let it happen within the four walls of my home. Agathiyar never brought up the subject again. If I had stepped into Ongaarakudil in 2003 on my own, Agathiyar in singing the praise of Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar, the patron of the place in 2008 called upon me to visit him and get his blessings that I did not receive on my earlier visit. I never went back telling him that I had him and Tavayogi. If I had carried out Parikaram or appeasement of our past karma as revealed by Agathiyar in the Nadi, both my wife and elder daughter came with a clean slate. My second daughter like me had a long list of remedies given. Having carried out those that were to be done locally, contemplating the cost of going over to carried out the rest in India, I confided with Tavayogi over the phone. Tavayogi surprised me telling me there was no need to do it. I remained silent as I was confused. On one hand my Sadguru, Moola Guru and Paramaguru Agathiyar personally had dished out the remedies. On the other hand, my immediate guru Tavayogi tells me that there was no need to carry it out. Sensing my silence and confusion, Tavayogi continued after some time. He tells me to carry them out if that would please me. I never did them taking and holding on to the words of my guru. I knew that he would take care of the matter. 

A guru's name should be recited in a manner that causes a vibration within continued Agathiyar. Henceforth his name would do the magic of transforming us. Yogi Ramsuratkumar would ask his devotees to recite his name and would himself recite it too. I have to borrow Yogi Ramsuratkumar's words in describing Tavayogi and Agathiyar. 

“Nobody can love this beggar like my Father Swami Ramdas and nobody can torture this beggar like my Father Swami Ramdas. My Father killed this beggar because He loved this beggar. This beggar died at the holy lotus feet of my father Swami Ramdas in the year 1952. After that my Father alone exists and not this beggar. This name Yogi Ramsuratkumar is not this beggar’s name; it is the name of my Father. Father would always shower his grace on the people who remember this name."

Agathiyar told us how to know if we had connected with the Prapanjam too. A coolness would come over us that brings on much joy and peace within. One would be drenched in it. One would burst out in a cry of joy and bliss. If the search stops when we meet the guru and begin to follow him and his teachings, our efforts stop when the transformation that begins at the Muladhara reaches Svadhisthana. The Prapanjam would feed him further bringing on further transformation without any further effort on his path. 

We are here to know the Self. If the guru shows us the way and its means initially, the Prapanjam aids us towards this purpose eventually. If Tavayogi stepped aside after showing us the way (the Siddha Margam or path of the Siddhas) and the means (Kriyas, rituals and Yogic practice) Agathiyar like Tavayogi stepped aside after connecting us to the Prapanjam. It was none interference on the part of the guru after initiating us into these rituals and practices bringing us out of Sariyai into Kriyai and Yogam. In the final stages of Yoga the energies within shall travel finding its path and bring on immense changes and transformation within oneself. Divine knowledge or Gnanam shall dawn bringing us to rest in silence. But as all souls are connected to the Param it begins to reach out to fellow souls too. Just as Thiru Gnana Sambandar took all those gathered at his wedding into God's assembly, the saintly soul brings the others to the gates of the kingdom of god. He becomes the beacon and the light. He becomes a guru. 

MAKING CONTACT WITH PRAPANJAM

Source: https://pixels.com/profiles/science-photo-library

Just as a tree is within a seed, a saint lives in all of us. It only needs the Midas touch or in this case, a guru's touch to bring the shine out. I guess this is the reason we are told that each one of us is a Buddha in Buddhist teachings. Our saints too speak about the need to drop the veil that covers our true Self to know that we are indeed divine. Now I understand why Supramania Swami told me that we shall polish (place the effort) till we shine. Tavayogi too in a similar tune said that if we fail to achieve that shine in this birth or this time around, we can and shall come back again to work on it. Supramania Swami too added that our efforts are not wasted. I guess we have all placed some effort towards returning back to our father's kingdom in past births and as we take a new birth each time, we come closer to his home. The saints, on the other hand, I guess are delivered to the door by the stork hence it is just a step before they enter the gates to heaven. So why are there the rotten apples amongst us who like the Asuras of days past cause so much mischief? Maybe they need a beating to know and realize their divine nature. 

Songs that had an element of love between lovers these days have turned divine to my hearing and understanding. For instance, the verses in the following song can be related to love for God too.

ஆண் : பூக்கள் பூக்கும் தருணம் ஆருயிரே பார்த்ததாரும் இல்லையே

பெண் : உலரும் காலை பொழுதை முழு மதியும் பிரிந்து போவதில்லையே

ஆண் : நேற்றுவரை நேரம் போகவில்லையே உனது அருகே நேரம் போதவில்லையே

பெண் : எதுவும் பேசவில்லையே இன்று ஏனோ எதுவும் தோன்றவில்லையே இது எதுவோ

ஆண் : இரவும் விடியவில்லையே அது விடிந்தால் பகலும் முடியவில்லையே பூந்தளிரே

ஆண் : வார்த்தை தேவையில்லை வாழும் காலம் வரை பாவை பார்வை மொழி பேசுமே

பெண் : நேற்று தேவை இல்லை நாளை தேவையில்லை இன்று இந்த நொடி போதுமே

ஆண் : வேரின்றி விதையின்றி விண் தூவும் மழை இன்றி இது என்ன இவன் தோட்டம் பூப்பூக்குதே

பெண் : வாள் இன்றி போர் இன்றி வலிக்கின்ற யுத்தம் இன்றி இது என்ன இவனுக்குள் என்னை வெல்லுதே

ஆண் : இதயம் முழுதும் இருக்கும் இந்த தயக்கம் எங்கு கொண்டு நிறுத்தும்

பெண் : இதை அறிய எங்கு கிடைக்கும் விளக்கம் அது கிடைத்தால் சொல்ல

வேண்டும் எனக்கும்

ஆண் : பூந்தளிரே..

ஆண் : எந்த மேகம் இது எந்தன் வாசல் வந்து எங்கும் ஈரமழை தூவுதே

பெண் : எந்த உறவு இது எதுவும் புரியவில்லை என்ற போதும் இது நீளுதே

ஆண் : யார் என்று அறியாமல் பேர் கூட தெரியாமல் இவளோடு ஒரு சொந்தம் உருவானதே

பெண் : ஏன் என்று கேட்காமல் தடுத்தாலும் நிற்காமல் இவன் போகும் வழி எங்கும் மனம் போகுதே

ஆண் : பாதை முடிந்த பிறகும் இந்த உலகில் பயணம் முடிவதில்லையே

பெண் : காற்றில் பறந்தே பறவை மறைந்த பிறகும்

பெண் & ஆண் : இலை தொடங்கும் நடனம் முடிவதில்லையே இது எதுவோ

ஆண் : பூக்கள் பூக்கும் தருணம் ஆருயிரே பார்த்ததாரும் இல்லையே

பெண் : உலரும் காலை பொழுதை முழு மதியும் பிரிந்து போவதில்லையே

ஆண் : நேற்றுவரை நேரம் போகவில்லையே உனது அருகே நேரம்

போதவில்லையே

பெண் : எதுவும் பேசவில்லையே இன்று ஏனோ எதுவும் தோன்றவில்லையே

ஆண் & பெண் : என்ன புதுமை இரவும் விடியவில்லையே அது விடிந்தால் பகலும் முடியவில்லையே

ஆண் : அது எதுவோ

Andaal, Radha, and Meera were some saints who reached the state of seeing God as their lover. This is the ultimate relationship and that of reaching the state of Advaita. Ramalinga Adigal composed a song where God tells him to prepare for the moment when he would come to bethrow him.

"Jivatman, the experiencing self, is ultimately non-different from Atman-Brahman, the highest Self or Reality. The jivatman or individual self is a mere reflection or limitation of singular Atman in a multitude of apparent individual bodies." (https://en.wikipedia.org)

When Goddess Ma came several years back and asked me to bathe Agathiyar's bronze statue daily she said that he had gained much energy and that we had to cool him. Recently Agathiyar himself asks to bathe him daily without giving any reasons. He asked me to do it till he leaves my home for that of Mahindren. Each time I bathe him I am drenched in bliss. Since several days ago, I feel the bliss in watering the plants too. If before whenever I took food into my mouth bliss traveled throughout my body right into the very cells, these days just taking in the aroma and steam from the hot food served at home does the same. If the very first instances of feeling the prana and becoming fully aware of the prana coming within my body to the extent of it exploding were when I diligently started doing the Vaasi or pranayama practice given by Tavayogi in 2007, later I felt it when I took showers and stood in the open inhaling the air and having the breeze caress me. Was this what Tavayogi meant when he said the Siddhas were ushering us and showering flower petals as we took a walk into the jungles in search of their abodes? The Siddhas whenever they come to us these days ask us to set our breath right before they pass on their energies. I guess Agathiyar has connected me to the Prapanjam for besides all the blissful moments that I encounter with nature and its elements, I feel the pain in others too.

Though sexual urge is high too but this shows that the blood supply is reaching all places. It is good to have a wife with us during these times to appease these urges. It is best to satisfy them rather than try and control these urges for it might resurface later when conditions are right then, but at the expense of shame and regret. Now I understand why godmen land themselves in trouble over sex scandals. When the media and public came hard on a godman caught in a sex scandal, I believed that there were some loose ends that needed to be tied up before both souls could progress further. When godmen marry or remarry towards the end of their godly career it might also be to settle the scores with one another before they could move on to other frontiers. We should never judge another and his actions if we accept everything as gods play, as he has his reasons. Let us take care of ourselves and our conduct first before scrutinizing others' lives.

COUNTING THE BLESSINGS

As I shall turn 64 in September this year I take stock of the blessings that came my way. There is always a purpose in the things taking place in our lives just as there is a purpose in our lives too. To sum it all up it is to gain Atma Balam and Anubhavam or soul empowerment or enrichment. If we have been feeding this fortress of 650 muscles, some 206 to 213 bones, and nearly 37.2 trillion cells (Source: https://www.livescience.com/37009-human-body.html) we have neglected the soul, or rather the soul is in hiding or exile. Ego in man has taken over the fortress having sent the soul to the dungeons. The soul that stood guard our us once is saved when the guru comes along in our lives or the ego is defeated. 

The ego in us paints a beautiful picture placing us on the throne and in charge. But it often brings on misfortune, misery, and suffering to oneself. We tend to burn down the very fortress due to our chasing after our desires and wants to amass more property and wealth, more lands and territories, more power and authority, and the false sense of joy that it gives us. Where then is true joy except at the feet of God? Ramalinga Adigal sings that God gave way to him to take his seat and passed him the staff of authority. 

When one begins to encounter life-changing experiences he learns the impermanence of life and all that is gained. He starts to seek solace and peace, bliss and true and everlasting happiness and joy. True joy is in the kingdom of God. True joy is being in the presence of God. God takes the form of a guru, to lead us away from the shackles of life that we bring upon ourselves. 

I dread to think what my life would have been if not for the divine hand turning it around. I shudder to think of the faults in the stars that could have derailed me for the worst if not for the silent and invisible presence of God. God not only took care of me but took everyone I knew into his arms too. He was there when we wanted him. He was ever-present. God who was imprisoned in the temples and other places of worship by man is accessible beyond the days and hours of worship. He is beyond the high walls of these places of worship. He is pretty much close to us. He is the very breath in us. He is the warmth in us. He is the thought in us. He is the light in us. He is the very soul in us. It is just that we are not aware of it. God comes as the guru to bring this awareness. Once the guru draws the veils aside, we see the light in us. We come face to face with our souls. This is Atma Darisanam. The soul enriches us with its wealth of stories and experiences. We become enlightened. All the saints themselves were enlightened souls having realized their true self and purpose. They begin to give back. They begin to share the bliss that they had attained. They share the fruit with us. 

MEDITATION

If I had lamented before Mahindren some time back that I had wasted some precious 2 1/2 years in doing nothing productive as I could not bring myself to meditate as Agathiyar had asked of me after bringing the shutters down on AVM and its puja and charity programs in a timely manner coinciding with the coming of the pandemic he told me to look at it in a different perspective. He pointed out that I had dropped everything in those years that was difficult for anyone to do. Today he came along and when I lamented that I have yet to go into a state of meditation, he answered that writing this very blog post itself was a form of meditation, opening my eyes to the truth of the matter. Indeed Buddhist monks have devised many ways and means to enter meditation. These tools assist them in bringing awareness to the activity on hand and practically enter a state of meditation even if it were to be for brief moments. Creating the Mandala and later destroying it besides teaching them the impermanence of life also brings them to focus on the job or task at hand. Observing and feeling each piece of raisin before munching on it and savoring it and only then swallowing it is another form of meditation. I guess as Mahindren pointed out to me the ten to fifteen minutes of drafting and writing each post is a form of meditation too.

I am practically sitting around doing nothing these days except writing and uploading videos. Yet Agathiyar came with promises. When I ask him what I should do further to achieve these states he tells me "Do Nothing" referring me to Tavayogi as an example. True enough when Tavayogi invited me to his ashram in Kallar after we met in Malaysia I had expectations of spending some time listening to discourses from him. But the irony was that he kept to himself most of the time, speaking only when required. There was no discussion nor conversation beyond certain passing statements he made as we traveled to places later. Those five days spent at Kallar and following him were in fact not classroom teachings instead he took me to the ground and had me experience for myself the miracles and the magic of the Siddhas. Indeed a newcomer like me needed to be impressed so that I shall hold on to the journey. Instead of taking classes and giving me lessons I learned from his approach to matters and people whom he met daily. I learned from his lifestyle as a mendicant and turavi. I observed him during our travels and learned much. Today I pretty well understand be it the passing statements he made or revealing the stark truth of the matter after each happening. 

We read that the saints have been told to do nothing and sit alone in contemplation. As age is catching up with me Agathiyar has asked that I withdraw myself. I think I know what makes us age. Gravity. I believe that if we can beat gravity at its game we can remain young forever. It is gravity that makes our skin sag, tugging on us, pulling us down to the level of earth and water. If we could transform these two elements, defeating these two of the Tattvas, we have overcome gravity I guess. I believe this is what the saints did too, progressing to the other three states or Tattvas, namely fire, wind, and space, and beyond. I might be wrong but let us see what Agathiyar or Ramalinga Adigal have to say further for they have been asking and reminding me to read up on the Tattvas from Tavayogi's book "Andamum Pindamum". 

From https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gravitational_biology we learn that,

"Plant roots grow towards the pull of gravity and away from sunlight, and shoots and stems grow against the pull of gravity and towards sunlight. Gravity is thus a limiting factor in the growth of individual cells. In larger terrestrial vertebrates gravitational forces influence musculoskeletal systems, fluid distribution, and hydrodynamics of the circulation. Microgravity impedes the development of bone cells. Bone cells must attach themselves to something shortly after development and will die if they cannot. Without the downward pull of a gravitational force on these bone cells, they float around randomly and eventually die off. This suggests that the direction of gravity may give the cells clues as to where to attach themselves.

Learn more at https://www.brainfacts.org/Neuroscience-in-Society/Tech-and-the-Brain/2017/Gravity-and-the-Human-Body-061517

FEELINGS

God is real, just as real as you and me. If you deny god then you deny your very existence. God is much closer than we think, he is much closer than the short walk to the neighborhood temple. He is where you are. But to come to know and understand and feel and experience him we all have to take the walk first. We have to go on the search and return home just as Tavayogi autographed the same in my copy of his book. Just as a walk in the park does us much good we need to take the walk in search of god to realize that he is indeed within us as the breadth, and as the heat in us, and as the light that sustains us. When the breath leaves us, the warmth in us leaves and soon the light that is the soul leaves too. God is all these put together. We cannot possibly pinpoint gods existence and place and form. But man dared to do so hence giving rise to the many temples and places of worship, the statues, and the rituals in external worship. One needs no rituals in going within. What is a method or practice too dies on its own as we realize him within us. We then are in constant contact with him who now reveals himself as the Prapanjam. He who we desired to see externally with a form and name and a location, we realize was at home all the while and never went away. He never deserted us at any moment. He was the watcher then as we carried our individual desires and wants and acted accordingly to bring fruition to them. But when we surrender to him he takes the limelight and comes on stage and performs his acts or lilas. We then take a back stand and just watch the show contrary to playing so many roles earlier and messing them up. 

How do we know God? If our parents showed us to God in the temples the guru comes along to bring us into the ritualistic worship of god. But a genuine and true guru would tell us that it was not the end and that we have to move on to other frontiers waiting to be explored. These are only tools and methods that assist us on our journey. He brings us to the next stage of exploring the body and the Self. From Sariyai and Kriyai we step into Yoga. We begin to love our bodies. But a genuine and true guru would tell us that it was not the end and that we have to move on to other frontiers waiting to be explored. These are only tool and the vehicle that assist us on our journey of God realization. Once one realizes God within him and all around him he has reached the state of Gnanam or divine realization and knowledge. And it all begins with feelings. 

It is all about feelings. We have feelings for our parents and siblings. If the former demands respect for them the latter demands tolerance. We have another kind of feeling for friends and relatives. We begin to share intimate things with the former and respect the latter. When we meet the women of our dreams it is an entirely different feeling. We all know what this love for the opposite sex does to us though all the previous relationships are based on love too. Then when we have children of our own the love is enhanced further. But above and beyond these love and feelings is one for the unknown, unseen, and unfathomable divine creator. This love blossoms and flowers when the guru comes into our lives and shows him to us. The love grows multifold in his divine presence. First, it is fear and devotion toward him. Later it becomes respect and adherence as it is with obeying and following our parents. Soon this love turns into that shown toward a friend. We share secrets. We have a buddy to chat with any time of the day. Then this friendship blossoms into love as in a boy-girl relationship. This is obvious in many of the saints' lives where devotion transforms accordingly and progressively and finally ends in a divine marital relationship with the divine.  

In speaking to Andraz from Slovenia, I had to explain to him that my journey has taken a turn now asked to move within when he asked if I had any plans to go over to India. I told him the pandemic had in a way helped me stay indoors and forced all our previous activities as in puja and charity come to a halt as desired by Agathiyar. Now he wants me to speak a minimum and stay quiet. Hence the reason for not answering his calls too. Then he put forward an interesting question as to whether the head of an ashram was taking an inward journey too. This made me realize the need to accomplish the said states before even venturing to give back for than he can safely go about looking after his administration. If I were to engage in running an ashram even before I pass all the tests laid out on the path, when shall I find the time to "read up" on it and attend to these "tests" with all the chores and responsibilities that come with running one. Tavayogi had ended his journey and wanted to retire into samadhi when he was tasked to start an ashram and later come over to Malaysia to bring and guide us further on the path. Hence he was pretty qualified to run the mission later. I am grateful that I who never disobeyed Agathiyar for once stood my feet down when I was asked to build a temple. Later Agathiyar told me that he had tested me. I have passed the test. How can a half-baked seeker, aspirant, sadhaka like me run an establishment I ask myself? Even when AVM was at its zenith we worked together as a team to see through its many activities. There was never a guru figure among us. Agathiyar was in charge. We all took instructions from him. 

THE SIDDHA WAY SIMPLIFIED

Agathiyar has simplified the means to reach him in this era where we want everything fast - from fast food and fast delivery to fast and speedy arrival, express education, etc. Indeed I now understand why Tavayogi said with a surprised tone and a look on his face asking me how I reached Agathiyar so fast when he had to carry out extreme austerities and travel far, spend days and nights in the jungle, caves, and hills. Yet in comparison to other devotees these days I would ask them the same too as for instance, we had to place some "effort" into bringing him into the bronze statue of his that he had us commission in 2010. He specified in the Nadi reading that we had to give "life" to the statue by chanting 100,000 times his name (Nama Japam) and carrying out libation to his statue with nine items which we did. Recently he came through a devotee and carried out libation to his own statue and handed it to her to continue in her home. Later at a temple festival, he carried out his own libation coming into a devotee. When he came to my daughter's home he stopped us gathered there in the midst of chanting the Arutperunjothi Maha mantra and instead had us chant his name. I understood that given those who had gathered there, they had no inkling about the Siddhas as they were newcomers, thus they had to start with the basic Nama Japam, for the Arutperunjothi mantra was meant for those who understood the journey fully. 

In our curiosity to know what was beyond the four walls we entered the garden. There we met Lord Ganapathy sitting under the king of all trees on the temple grounds. Thinking that there was more to the worship we entered the temple and stood before the inner sanctum after circumambulating and worshipping all the other deities and gods lined up along the way. Similarly, prior to Tavayogi introducing us to the path of Siddha Margam officially after three years of our worship of the Siddhas in our home, we carried on with the recitation of the names of the Siddhas that we received from several Upagurus earlier. Thinking there was more to it we gathered more songs of praise to the Siddhas looking into books and the internet. We were introduced to several facets of the one God or Yegan. As Tavayogi accompanied me places and as we entered each temple he would not do the norm that all pilgrims do. He would head for a Siddha peddham or shrine, sing a couplet and begin to meditate in divine communion with the Siddha present there, taking in what God had to offer. Tavayogi never offered anything to any god anywhere. This was pretty obvious at the Tanjai Big temple. As we arrived at the temple grounds the temple was closed for the afternoon. He spread his shawl under the shade of a tree and lay on his side taking a short nap. I thought that when the temple bells were struck at 4pm and the doors opened to the public he would head straight into the inner sanctum. But instead, he went behind and sat at Karuvurar's shrine. He could have done that upon our arrival as Karuvurar was housed under a roof in the open. He began to leave the temple grounds immediately. When for most the humongous Sivalinga was the attraction he did not pop in but chose to wait for me to rush in and pay my respects when I put on a long face.

There were no rituals in all the places we went. Agathiyar too in later years in addressing our question regarding the Siddha samadhis spoke about the conduct and how we are supposed to carry ourselves while there. He told us not to carry out any rituals but instead sit in meditation and take in the positive vibes and energy prevalent and arising from the samadhis. That was all to it. Indeed now I fully understand Thavathiru Rengaraja Desigar's answer to his silence when asked to bless me during my visit to Ongaarakudil in 2003. His reply that stepping into the grounds of Ongarakudil itself was a blessing though confused me back then is understood perfectly now. 

Today we understand fully the koan that goes "First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is." During the Tang Dynasty, the Chinese Ch’an master Qingyuan Weixin famously wrote:

“Before I had studied Ch’an for thirty years, I saw mountains as mountains, and rivers as rivers. When I arrived at a more intimate knowledge, I came to the point where I saw that mountains are not mountains, and rivers are not rivers. But now that I have got its very substance, I am at rest. For it’s just that I see mountains once again as mountains, and rivers once again as rivers.” (Source: https://tricycle.org/magazine/first-there-mountain-then-there-no-mountain/)

Just as Tavayogi wrote a phrase "Aandavan Uraigindra Edam Thangal Ullam, Athuve Payanathin Thodakkamum, Mudivum" which translated meant, "Erai lives in your heart, from where the journey starts and ends too" while autographing my copy of his book "Andamum Pindamum", the journey starts with Lord Ganesa and ends at his feet. Thinking that a temple or shrine of Agathiyar would carry his image, I was surprised to see Lord Ganesa sitting as a granite statue at the Sri Agasthiyar Kumbamunivar Sannadhi at the entrance to the Adi Kumbeswarar Temple in Kumbakonam. 

We look outside for the divine seeing him as separate from us in the beginning visiting the temples in the neighborhood and other popular temples elsewhere, and after traveling to the far reaches of the temples and shrines in the hills and dales, seeking and searching for him we realized that he was all along with us, in us and we in him, coming to realize finally that "First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is." First, we saw the mountain and began to climb it. Once atop its peak, we ask ourselves where did the mountain go? We are the mountain standing atop it. Treading the path we need to see the essence of things and not the physical form, just as the Siddhas see our souls rather than the physical self. Swami Sivananda saw the river Ganga as the Goddess and performed daily arati and rituals that to another would only remain as just a river that flowed through the terrains. Swami Vishnudevananda on writing about his first encounter with his soon-to-be master Swami Sivananda, in "My Years with the Master", expresses his logical taught that pits against the vision of the saint.

"Before leaving (after having met him for the very first time), I went down the Ganga where it was the custom of the Ashram to do Aarati (waving of lights) every evening. All the devotees and inmates of the Ashram assembled by the banks of the Ganga to watch Master perform this evening worship. I was skeptical. I was of a scientific temperament and knew that a river is only water, H2O - imagine worshiping H20!! But as I stood there and watched Master waving the lights, I saw the river become a mass of flowing lights. At that instant, the river assumed a divine flow, a manifestation of the Grace of the Lord. Master turned and looked at me and in my mind, I heard his message, “God pervades everything; this too is His Special Form.” This entirely changed my outlook on life." (Source: http://www.sivanandaonline.org)

Tavayogi had learned to see God in all. As such just stepping onto the grounds was sufficient to make contact with God. God hears us wherever we may be as he is the Prapanjam. When Sanjiv Malhotra told me he needed to seek a reading during the pandemic but as travel was restricted, enquired if Mataji would read and translate the Jeeva Nadi kept at Kallar, I pointed out to him that Agathiyar had given strict instructions to Mataji to read only for those in search of Gnana as the Jeeva Nadi at Kallar was not to be read for man's mundane desires and existence. Our conversation ended there. Just yesterday we made contact again and spoke again. He shared a miracle that took place recently. Nadi astrologer Thiru Janakiraman and several others headed for the north on a pilgrimage. On coming to know about their visit to Mathura, Uttar Pradesh, India, he volunteered to drive them to the temple. Arriving at the temple grounds Sanjiv carried the Jeeva Nadi on his head and they entered the temple. After sitting in Lord Krishna's presence Janakiran suggested they look into the oracle for any word from Agathiyar. They sat under a tree. Indeed Agathiyar had something to convey but not before having them call up a bystander and read the Nadi for him. That was a surprise move. On completion, Agathiyar told Janakiram and his entourage to return home ending their intended visit to other places abruptly. Agathiyar then asked that he (his Nadi) be brought to Sanjiv's home. Agathiyar spent a night there and delivered a message to Sanjiv and his family. The divine comes to those who seek him. 

Sanjiv had earlier written a piece sharing his trip to Tamilnadu that I had posted at https://agathiyarvanam.blogspot.com/2018/04/agathiyars-child.html

Gone are the days when we went looking for him. His pronounced presence is felt by many who began to worship the Siddhas. Agathiyar in asking Tavayogi to visit the north, ended his visit abruptly and asked that he head back to Kallar ashram. Surendran who planned a detailed itinerary with Jnana Jothiamma was derailed and Agathiyar had him go to his peak at Pothigai instead. The bronze statue of Agathiyar at AVM was originally supposed to be placed at the Jegathguru Sri Raghavendra Swamigal Miruthiga Brindavanam, Ipoh but Agathiyar choose to stay put in my home instead. Even now as Agathiyar tells me that he shall move house to Mahindren's home, a fellow devotee jokingly said that Agathiyar might change his mind again. Indeed this is their game and play or lila. We do not have much say when we have surrendered to them. It is only when we think that we are in charge of our lives that the Siddhas step aside and watch us do blunders. As Lao Tzu asks that we go with the flow Agathiyar too referred me to the opening line of Sadhu Om's song that I play often in my home asking me to accept and come to terms with what was going on around us. 

In BBC Earth's "First Contact - An Alien Encounter", a scientist shares her views on an alien encounter if there was one in the future. "I think it is much more likely to be a one-way communication such as we currently have with Shakespeare or the ancient Greeks and the Romans. We can't ask questions of them (aliens) but they have provided us a wealth of information, that we can learn from. Another scientist says that "Search for life in our solar system is one thing but the search for life beyond it might be closer to archaeology because we are receiving signals of what may now be dead civilizations." 

Similarly, we have many questions regarding the Siddhas too. Did the Siddhas outnumber the people back then in the many past yugas or were they a rare lot as in present times? If the Siddhas were ordinary men like us and had lived with us and had fathomed the mysteries of life where are they now? There were many answers given before but lately, Agathiyar told me when I placed this question before him that he was the very vibration. While scientists are looking out to space for potentially habitable worlds for signs of aliens or beings like us, the Siddhas go within from the grosser material world to the much subtler worlds and finally reach the bottom pit where Agathiyar declares that he is the very vibration. 

THE TRANSFORMATION

In giving thanks to the Siddhas, my gurus, upagurus, and everyone else who came into my life to act out their role in helping me learn a thing or two or to help fulfill my desires carried with me that were vasanas, I have to thank my readers too for giving an ear to what I have to say in these pages. In sharing my experiences I believe we help each other. Just as in my search to know more I looked up books and followed talks to gain more information and knowledge many similarly I believe are searching too. For those who have come by my blog, I welcome you. I thank you too. In sharing there is bliss. 

As Dr. C Srinivasan in his "An Introduction to the Philosophy of Ramalinga Swami", published by Ilakkia Nilayam, Tiruchi, 1968, describes the many stages described by Ramalinga Swami that we step into in our spiritual evolution, I am eager to compare and find out where I stand.

I guess I had come out of the dark pit making my way towards the light for a start when I moved away from living a mundane life without even a thought of its transient nature. Here then the search begins to know the reasons behind our customs and traditions that are in place and followed by our ancestors and forefathers for ages. We begin to take an interest in them. This leads to wanting to know more. There is then a thirst and hunger for more information. In knowing the reasons why we do it we then appreciate them better. He becomes conscious of the world and its external objects. He takes his first step, coming into Sariyai. He begins to step into a temple or place of worship. He goes beyond its walls to investigate. He is shown his creator or God as his ancestors saw them, carved in stone, granite, or made in metal and bronze. Most settle for this state and never go further. Here is where a guru is needed to draw the veil and show him the frontiers beyond his sight. Supramania Swami and Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal came into my life at this juncture for this purpose, the former in 2003 and the latter in 2005.

Some are impressed but leave. For others, it does not strike a chord and they too leave. But a handful who had been there in the way past recognize these frontiers deep deep within themselves and begin to follow the guru. The guru can come within and guide him too. He then moves up the rung by becoming aware of the momentary nature of life. He realizes that life is not permanent. He begins to observe the things around him taking lessons from them. 

There is a change in his perspective of life. A great question arises in him. But what is God's true form? Is he like how he is depicted in the paintings and statues? He wants to reach out to God and find out. He knows that he is here for a bigger purpose. He seeks to know his purpose. The guru helps him in all ways possible. Moving away from Sariyai he steps into Kriyai shown by his guru. He begins to take things into his own hands and steer his life rather than be at the mercy of fate and destiny. In carrying out Kriyai he can be with his chosen deity 24/7 rather than waiting on others to open up the temple doors and allow him in. He is free to explore the new frontier now with his guru occasionally guiding him. He brings god into his home and heart. God is no more a stranger to him. He ushers him into his home. He dines with him. He gives him a bath and dresses him up to his liking. He adores him. He praises him. He feels inseparable from him. He wants more of him. He wants to become him. But again the great question arises in him. What is God's true form? Is he like how he is depicted in the paintings and statues? He wants to reach out to God and find out.

His guru now introduces him to Yogam. Coming to Yogam, he wants only God. Once this desire is set aflame and burning in him the various veils covering the soul for generations are shed one after the other. His Yogic practices generate heat and this heat of his tapas brings down the veils of ignorance. He comes to know that he can systematically climb the ladder of spiritual evolution to attain the state of oneness of God or at least his likeness. He begins his climb. He becomes aware of his breath that was all along traveling with him, in him, and moving him. He also comes to realize that he is in it as Ramalinga Adigal pointed out. He pays gratitude and shows thanks to the one primary source of sustenance that keeps him alive. What keeps us alive is definitely God right? He now sees God whom he saw externally in the paintings and statues as his breath. He adores his breath. He worships it as Tavayogi pointed out. The worship now becomes internal. He is in a state of continuous eternal bliss now contrary to the momentary bliss he attains visiting the temples or carrying out the puja at his home. He brings his awareness to his breath at all times. The divine now comes to give him a lending hand. He comes to cleanse the soul or rather shed the veils further. A spontaneous love for God is felt at all times. He comes to realize that he is connected to God at all times, day and night, while awake and asleep. 

Next, the grace of the Lord befalls him and he enters a state of ecstasy. If earlier he chose to see God with forms and had gained earthly experiences, beyond this stage, he begins to have heavenly experiences. He knows God to be beyond manifestation as I came to know and experience through the numerous ruptures of joy and bliss that come over me in the places of worship I visited. This surge of energy came within as my body became a vessel and vehicle and a conduit to tap into them. The prevalent energies worked on me further.

When he has gained Atma Balam or Soul Power, he begins to "taste" God. His Soul, charged with Divine Grace, attains self-realization or Atma Darisanam. Now everything takes place within him. There is no need for external tools, methods, or practices further. His chakras are activated and keep these energies moving and alive in him driving his body, mind, and thoughts now. The empty vehicle or vessel fills up pretty fast and overflows. His bliss is uncontainable. His soul becomes saturated with compassion and love. He experiences the divinity within (Uyir Anubhavam) by the grace of Arutperunjhoti. As Dr. C.Srinivasan says "The soul enjoys in full the real and natural happiness it is entitled to without any restraint."

He is prepared to receive the Light. He moves on to enjoy Supreme Grace (Arul Anubhavam). His grace is felt 24/7. He connects with the Prapanjam. He is capable of partaking in all of creation's wonders. 

Then the descent of divinity into the individual takes place. Swami Saravanananda writes in his English transliteration of Ramalinga Adigal’s “Arutperunjhoti Agaval” published by Ramalinga Mission, Madras, that with the descent of sufficient Divine Light, the psychic head begins to emerge. According to Vallalar, this psychic head (a crown or diadem of light) is made up of a special and highly refined type of brain called Omkar brain. As soon as it emerges, it draws more cosmic light; the more the light the greater the growth of the psychic head."

In the complete realization of the God Supreme (Sivanubavam), the sublime achievement of the aspirant culminates in the complete union with the Lord Supreme. The body transforms into the Pranava Deham or the body of Grace. Swami Saravanananda writes that with the advent of the psychic head, more and more changes take place in the already purified body. The cells and thence the whole body begins to transcend the limits imposed on them by impure Maya (the grosser principle of nature) and try to break one more of its veils. The cells undergo alternate condensation and expansion for an unspecified period and the body slowly emerges out of its bondage and begins to grow. This expanding and ever-prospering body is called the subtle body or the body of the Omkar or Pranava body. With the functioning of the third eye, the transformation of the Pranava body is completed and the next and final stage of transformation into the Gnostic body (Gnana Deham) starts."

At this juncture, he has nothing else to do but remain in the state of bliss. He becomes the Mouna Guru. He might choose to speak to some though. He appears in places while seated at his spot. He gives his darshan to them. Though he begins to catch the attention of some and begins to attract many, he knows his place, that it is all momentary, and that he needs to save some souls before he departs. 

We revisit http://www.ramalinga.com for the journey has been summarized beautifully.

"Anyone whose spiritual practices have thus resulted in the awareness of the divine working through them has already begun the transformational process and surrendering of the sheath of the intellect (Vinjnanamaya Kosham). As the intellect undergoes this transformation, the mental sheath (Manomaya Kosham), associated with the senses, and is similarly transformed. As the divine light descends into the sheath of energy (Pranayama Kosham) the entity becomes a Siddha in the truest sense of the word. As defined in the Upanishads, a Siddha is one who has progressed from the exalted ‘state of freed while living’ (Jivanmukta) to ‘supremely free with full power over death’ (Paramukta). This state is referred to in Siddhantha literature as Soruba Mukti or Soruba Samadhi." 

WHEN THE LIGHT COMES WITHIN

Once the chakras are activated in one by the divine hand who having worked on it through efforts placed on the practices given by the Siddhas themselves there is little one can do further but to immerse in the bliss and at times the pain and agony that comes with it too. The chakras on opening up further to the brilliance of the Light that descends within receive the full splendor of the Light that enhances the inherent fire within and beauty unfolds. Energy flows from beyond to complement the inherent energies within. The topmost chakra then is in constant touch with the Prapanjam. All the senses are heightened. One feels an action or word done and said onto another in himself. He begins to relate with another feeling his joy and pain equally. This extends to all other creations too eventually. He is one will all around him. He is indeed then a saint in all manner. 

From http://www.ramalinga.com we learn further that,

"These great saints saw a Column of Light rising above the Sahasrara up to the Divinity. The Column of Light starts to be formed in the states previous to the full Realization of the Golden Body. In one who realizes the Golden Deathless Body, an indissoluble bond is established with the Divinity through this Column of Light. Till this moment, one must make an effort to ascend to the Divinity, later having to descend again to the physical level, nevertheless on having been settled in the Column of Light one does not need to continue doing this effort, but from this time the Divinity descends on oneself. The one in whom the Column of Light is settled enjoys the continual experience of the Divinity, who, on having descended, resides in one's own Heart (as shining Sun) and fills with Himself the whole Being gradually, even the physical body (which, cell by cell, is completely transmuted up to becoming divine)."

"At first, the above-mentioned experience has not the same intensity all the time. Moved by His great Compassion, God takes the maximum care of the possible aftereffect in the physical body and that's why He is alternating the intensity to manifest Himself as Divine Light. Sometimes His resplendence is very soft whereas on other occasions It becomes the most intense, seeming that one is going to be melted in It. This experience of God fills the Self with Divine Love and Compassion, which overflow from the Heart like a river flowing endlessly toward other beings."

"Little by little, God is increasing by degrees the intensity of Light and one is becoming accustomed to it, until the time comes when God manifests Himself wholly. Then the Column of Light shines from beginning to end with Its entire splendor. It isn’t visible, except on very rare occasions. This Column of Light is truly the embodied Divine Jothi, which burns constantly so that the Divine Light radiates coming to all beings. This is the Full God's Manifestation in the Earth."

"There was no longer the body, no longer any sensation; there was only a Column of Light rising from the place where is ordinarily the base of the body up to the place where is ordinarily the head, to form there a disk of Light like that of the moon; then from there, the Column went on rising up to very far above the head to break into an immense Sun, dazzling and multi-colored, from which fell a rain of Golden Light covering the whole earth."

"Then slowly the Column of Light descended forming an oval of living Light, awakening and setting in motion, each in a particular way, according to a special mode of vibration, the centers which were above the head, at the place of the head, the throat, the heart, in the middle of the belly, at the base of the spine and still lower. At the height of the knees, the ascending and the descending currents joined together and the circulation thus became in a way uninterrupted enveloping the whole being in an immense oval of living Light."

Ramalinga Adigal shares his experience in his songs compiled as the Thiruarutpa. The translation, to my best ability, of one such lovely song, goes as follows:

As night became day, I was shown the Holy Feet, I embraced it, and I partook in the divine nectar.
As dawn broke, I was delivered the Holy Feet, I touched and offered my salutations to it, and I became cleansed.
Sleep left me, the Sun appeared, the yearning wilted, and I partook in the ambrosia.
Sorrow wilted, sleep was eradicated, joy came upon me, and the yearning was fulfilled.
Gnanam arose, the divine music was heard, false knowledge wilted, and I saw Sirsabai.
The veils were thorn away asunder, I beheld the Light, Parai Oli shown with all its luminosity, and my prayers were answered.
The darkness within me left, and the light from within me shone brightly, I tasted the nectar, to my heart's content.
I saw my Father, all obstacles were removed, I rejoiced, and I received Siddhis.
I saw my Father, I received the gift of Deathlessness, I rejoiced, and I conquered the Siddhis.
I achieved Mukthi, and with this Mukthi I attained Gnana Siddhi, Taking on these Siddhis, I became a Siddha.

What then is expected of us after this? Nothing. All our efforts and attempt comes to a standstill. From inertia to activity and back to inertia, we come one full circle. That is what Agathiyar told me too when I asked him if there was anything left to do after the divine took a stake in me, ending all my current efforts. He referred me to Tavayogi asking me what did he do? 

Donald S. Lopez, Jr. writes at https://tricycle.org/magazine/first-there-mountain-then-there-no-mountain/

During the Tang Dynasty, the Chinese Ch’an [Zen in Japanese] master Qingyuan Weixin famously wrote: “Before I had studied Ch’an for thirty years, I saw mountains as mountains and rivers as rivers. When I arrived at a more intimate knowledge, I came to the point where I saw that mountains are not mountains, and rivers are not rivers. But now that I have got its very substance, I am at rest. For it’s just that I see mountains once again as mountains, and rivers once again as rivers.” 

Ramalinga Adigal in drawing up clearly the many milestones one has to encounter on the journey that brings one to the much-anticipated destination and kingdom of God lists the following. (Source: "An Introduction to the Philosophy of Ramalinga Swami" by Dr. C Srinivasan, published by Ilakkia Nilayam, Tiruchi, 1968. Ramalinga Adigal starts describing the journey beginning with 

1. Humans who lead a mundane life without even a thought of its transient nature. They might pass by a place of worship but will never think of entering. He would not have the urge to even explore what is behind the high walls. He is disinterested to know his true purpose here and never gives a thought towards his creator and creation. He is satisfied to enjoy the pleasures of the world. Tavayogi terms them as souls who come to fulfill their desires, wishes, and likes. 
2. Then one moves up the rung by becoming aware of the momentary nature of life. He becomes conscious of the world and its external objects. He takes his first step, coming into Sariyai.
3. Then wanting to see the Lord, the seeking starts. He steps into Kriyai. He feels inseparable from the divine. 
4. Coming to Yogam, he wants only God. Once this desire is set aflame and burning in him the various veils covering the soul for generations are shed one after the other. The divine comes to cleanse the soul. A spontaneous love for God is felt at all times.
5. Next, the Grace of the Lord befalls him and he enters a state of ecstasy. If earlier he chose to see God with forms and had gained earthly experiences, beyond this stage, he begins to have heavenly experiences. He knows God to be beyond manifestation. He has gained Atma Balam or Soul Power.
6. Then he moves to "taste" God. His Soul, charged with Divine Grace, attains self-realization or Atma Darisanam.
7. Next follows the state where he perceives God in the form of Light. The Soul becomes saturated with compassion and love. He experiences the divinity within (Uyir Anubhavam) by the grace of Arutperunjhoti. Dr. C.Srinivasan explains further that "This is the preliminary state in which the soul is to enjoy in full the real and natural happiness it is entitled to without any restraint."
8. He then moves on to enjoy Supreme Grace (Arul Anubhavam). The higher stages according to Ramalinga Adigal are heavenly stages and beyond human perception where the mind fails to conceive and all senses cease to function. 
9. Then the descent of divinity into the individual takes place. In the complete realization of the God Supreme (Sivanubavam), the sublime achievement of the aspirant culminates in the complete union with the Lord Supreme for the eternal enjoyment of Supreme Bliss forever and ever after. Swami Saravanananda writes in his English transliteration of Ramalinga Adigal’s “Arutperunjhoti Agaval” published by Ramalinga Mission, Madras, that with the descent of sufficient Divine Light the psychic head begins to emerge. According to Vallalar, this psychic head (a crown or diadem of light) is made up of a special and highly refined type of brain called Omkar brain. As soon as it emerges, it draws more cosmic light; the more the light the greater the growth of the psychic head."
10. It is not over yet for the Supreme Grace flows and prepares the aspirant for the next stage. The body transforms into the Pranava Deham or the body of Grace. Swami Saravanananda writes that with the advent of the psychic head, more and more changes take place in the already purified body. The cells and thence the whole body begins to transcend the limits imposed on them by impure Maya (the grosser principle of nature) and try to break one more of its veils. The cells undergo alternate condensation and expansion for an unspecified period and the body slowly emerges out of its bondage and begins to grow. This expanding and ever-prospering body is called the subtle body or the body of the Omkar or Pranava body. With the functioning of the third eye, the transformation of the Pranava body is completed and the next and final stage of transformation into the Gnostic body (Gnana Deham) starts."
11. Merging with Arutperunjhoti, the state of deathlessness or conquest of death is achieved. Hold the horses for the journey is still not over yet. There are still higher stages that Ramalinga Adigal hesitates to express.

From http://www.ramalinga.com we understand that "Anyone whose spiritual practices have thus resulted in the awareness of the divine working through them has already begun the transformational process and surrendering of the sheath of the intellect (Vinjnanamaya Kosham). As the intellect undergoes this transformation, the mental sheath (Manomaya Kosham), associated with the senses, and is similarly transformed. Of course, this individual is fully aware of the divine as the prime mover. Since the ego has been given to the divine, every action related to the senses is observed and understood to be none other than the indwelling god or goddess doing the experiencing and enjoying. Such a Buddha can enjoy all the senses without fear of confusion or being lost spiritually in them. For the great tantric who have attained to this state, conventional rules which guide and provide stability, safety, and structure are irrelevant. As the divine light descends into the sheath of energy (Pranayama Kosham) the entity becomes a Siddha in the truest sense of the word. As defined in the Upanishads, a Siddha is one who has progressed from the exalted ‘state of freed while living’ (Jivanmukta) to ‘supremely free with full power over death’ (Paramukta). This state is referred to in Siddhantha literature as Soruba Mukti or Soruba Samadhi."