Astrology and Nadi readings are a balm to heal our pain and help us understand why we are where we are. By understanding the pain, misery, and suffering, we can accept them to a certain extent. They bring on a realization and help us understand ourselves better. In coming to understand ourselves, we come to accept our nature and are more tolerant of others, accepting their flaws as their inborn nature too.
In reading the "Spiritual Numerology of Moses," or better known as the "Soul Contract Reading," some time back, my purpose as a Catalytic Spiritual Teacher who according to https://tealswan.com/, is said to "precipitate, trigger, spark, bring on a major change abruptly, or initiate an event to cause it to happen suddenly, unexpectedly, or sooner than anticipated" was revealed. I could then see the puzzle pieces come together: the reason for Agathiyar calling me to his path, having me meet and come under the tutelage of Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal, who was on the path too, the reason for Agathiyar to send youths over to my home, and having us engage in rituals and puja and charity.
Walking the path, I received several knockings from Tavayogi and Agathiyar that broke my hold on my earlier preconceptions, perspectives, and views. My grandchildren too knocked some sense into me. If my granddaughter had told me to attend to my life and let her be when she was as young as three back then, her younger sister gave me a knock days ago. She was singing the Tevaram song that she learned at school to me via video call last Friday. Then, out of the blue, she asked what I did back then when I was 3 years old. I thought for a moment and told her I could not remember, but most likely running around. But I did not expect what was to come next. She shot an arrow through my heart, saying Thiru Gnana Sambandar sang the song when he was three. And I was memorizing nursery rhymes at three.
Agathiyar too had be drop whatever he and Tavayogi had initiated me to do earlier. If I thought until then that we had one sole purpose in coming here, and I had seen to it, Lena Wendth tells us that "When I discovered Eckhart Tolle, he speaks about two purposes: an outer purpose and an inner one. And suddenly life made sense."
If one's external purpose is dictated and fueled by parents initially, it is driven by one's heart and mind when he or she gains independence and free will. With the coming of the external guru, he or she brings one to carry out a purpose too. And so did Tavayogi and Agathiyar spell them out and have me carry them out. The rituals and puja and charity were the first phase of the journey.
Looking back at our conversations with Agathiyar, either through the Nadi or whenever he came through his devotees, and what I learned through Lena Wendth and Eckhart Tolle, I can see the full picture now. So if the former was my outer purpose, what then is my inner purpose?
Eventually he had me drop them all. He had me go within and be in solitude. The Asana and Pranayama techniques I received from Tavayogi and that I put into practice since 2007 opened up the Muladhara. Agathiyar came to release the Kundalini that had stagnated at Svadishtana and travel further and arrive at the Sahasrara in 2022, where the opening of 1000 petals took place. This was the second phase. Then, asking me what I desired after I had shunned all that he wanted to gift me- the offer of a Jeeva Nadi, the privilege to build him and Lord Muruga a temple, an ashram that he decided was not necessary- I asked that I be born to serve him again and again. That too was shot down. Thinking it was Gnanam that we should seek, he shot that down too, telling me it was not gifted, but we had to work towards it, traveling the chakras. Finally, he accepted the desire to join his fold or Tirukootam as the thing to ask. He tested me further by asking me to send his statue away. Then came the final test, where he offered to make me a guru but instantly retracted the offer and instead reserved a place for me elsewhere. He even asked that I let go of him. He asked that I know the soul, for it is the soul that reveals and directs us to our internal purpose: that of attaining the state of Sivam.
Apparently, just like Donkey annoys Shrek by asking, "Are we there yet?" when they make their way to the Kingdom of Far Far Away in "Shrek 2", traveling this journey had me asking often if we are there yet, too.