NOTEBOOK 2

Today as my 4-year-old granddaughter and I watched some videos we were both impressed by the following story. In this story a cat that has a new pair of white shoes steps onto some strawberries that then colors the shoe red. He is not disturbed. Next, he steps on some blueberries. His shoes turn blue. Again he is not sad. This goes on and he steps onto some mud turning the color of his shoes to brown. He is not angry. Finally, he steps into a pool of water. The colors are gone and he gets back his white shoes that are now wet. He is happy in his wet shoes. How easily he adapts to life. If only we could do the same? Acceptance is the keyword here. The Siddhas have been getting us to accept everything that takes place. Acceptance would mean surrendering to the situation. The "I" loses its significance. Natural law then governs us. The Prapanjam comes to our aid. The Atma takes charge. 

The Siddhas could look into the past, present, and future. They knew what composited the Udal, Uyir, and Atma and worked towards sustaining them. When we were gone and forgotten having taken numerous births, they walk the face of the earth even in present times. They work to bring us to their path and fold and help us become one of them. When I took up his call in the Nadi, Agathiyar had the ball rolling. I had surrendered myself to him the day I read the Nadi. Hence I was called up to read his Aasi Nadi some fifty-plus times after my Kaanda Nadi reading that I sought to know. If he exposed many things and gave the ways to make good my past faults in my first Nadi reading, the subsequent Nadi readings were means to progress on the Siddha path. As I followed everything said, I made quick progress I was told. Agathiyar lay out my report card each time I completed a task, practice, or mission. What was told was unbelievable. I could not believe my ears as he spoke about things that were only achievable by those who had put in many years of austerities, lived in isolation, fasted, trashed their bodies, etc. The equation just wasn't right or so I thought. Back then Agathiyar used to say that I was leading a Tava vazhgai or a life of austerity. I never could figure it out. How and what did I do that amounted to or accounted for a life of Tavam or austerity? I could not piece or fit the puzzle for I was perplexed and puzzled. I did not engage in any sort of austerities that holy men did. I did not punish my body having endured undue pain and stress. I did not fast nor go hungry. I did not isolate myself. I did not meditate. I did not even shed a single hair for a favor. How could my life then be one of Tavam? 

On the contrary, apart from carrying out my responsibilities towards my family and career, all I did was adopt the simple things that I picked up from the books and followed. Reading books on herbs I would ask my wife to prepare the concoctions and consume them. Reading yoga from the books I would execute these movements. I would abstain from taking food for some 20 hours at times daily not that I chose it but for lack of vegetarian food at my workplace. Looking back now I ask myself if this is what Agathiyar had meant that I had observed the life of austerities. Besides this Agathiyar had told me so many things that I had attained or achieved that I could not bring myself to believe. At times I used to question if he was describing another and not me for I just did not fit into that description. I know that I did not deserve it too. Was he mistakenly addressing me I asked myself? I just could not relate to them. Even Tavayogi taking note told us that Agathiyar had come quite easily to us as opposed to the amount of hardship he had to endure to come to him. Then Agathiyar reveals on 29 June 2020 that much of the work was done in former births. 

நீங்கள் அனைவரும் எனக்கு மிகவும் பழக்கமானவர்கள். ஒரு ஜென்மம்  அல்ல. இரண்டு ஜென்மம் அல்ல. பல ஜென்மம். திரை விளக்கியதும் அனைத்தும் உங்களுக்குத் தெரிய வரும். ஞானத்தை நாடுபவர்கள் மிகவே குறைவு. நீங்கள் ஞானத்தை விரும்பினீர்கள். நான் வழங்க உள்ளேன். விரைவில் அனைத்தும் தெரிய வரும். நீங்கள் அனைவரும் ஞான குழந்தைகள். ஞானம் சுலபமாகக் கிட்டும். அதற்கான உழைப்பை முன் ஜென்மத்தில் செய்த்துவிடீர்கள். இந்த ஜென்மத்தில் அனைத்தும் சுலபமாகக் கிட்டிவிடும். அகத்தியன் நான் பார்த்துக் கொள்வேன். தலை நிமிர்ந்து நடங்கள். அகத்தியன் குழந்தைகள் என்று பெருமையுடன் வாழுங்கள். 

Your Atma is known to me since way back in time. Not one birth, not two but numerous births before. Once the veil is drawn aside you shall come to know. Very few sought Gnanam. You ask for it. It shall materialize. You will come to know soon. You shall come to Gnanam easily as you are my children. You had put in the work in the last birth. Hence everything shall come easily in this birth. I shall take care of it. Walk upright and with honor for Ye are Agathiyan's children. 

If we come to know our past births through reading the Nadi, I remember Tavayogi telling me that he knew his past while meditating. I suppose the veil that Agathiyar speaks about was drawn aside and Tavayogi saw his Atma that was from the times when Agathiyar walked the earth. Tavayogi as a lad in that birth had the privilege to receive a potent mantra from Agathiyar in person. I understand now that we are here to tie the loose ends and reap the benefits of our past efforts. Supramania Swami told me that there was a previous bond between us that needed to be forged again. He gave me the merits of his 40 years of Tavam. Supramaniar or Lord Murugan had promised Agathiyar who was not known by that name then, the state of Jothi that which Agathiyar had helped Supramaniar achieve by looking after his needs while he went into Tavam. As it was not possible then Supramaniar came back for Agathiyar in the next birth and bestowed it on him.

Supramania Swami used to say that none of our efforts go to waste. 

Agathiyar gave me the task that of writing this blog. Dr. Krishnan looking into my horoscope told me that I would write books etc. I never believed I could for it was not my field of interest nor was I well equipped for it. I would rather draw. But what do you know, the prediction in 1996 became a reality after I returned from my maiden pilgrimage to India in 2003. I took notes as I traveled to the many places Agathiyar had me go to. I posted these on an online travel journal. Soon I wrote several books and published them online and made them available as a free download.

I published the works of my gurus too online so that they would be easily available to the public and without cost.

When Tavayogi wrote his first book "Andamum Pindamum" he told me the reason for writing it was to correct the incorrect perception given by many others including published works on many matters pertaining to the universe and the self. He wrote to explain and clarify in his books. Similarly, after Agathiyar revealed the explanation for Udal, Uyir, and Atma, in his short memo to us recently, I was saddened to see, read, hear and watch several blogs and videos misleading us on these subjects. What made it worst was that they came from individuals or movements established in the name of the Siddhas. So these days if I was to read or watch any of them I would look for what they had to say about the Udal, Uyir, and Atma. If that complies with Agathiyar's explanation, I read or watch further. Otherwise, I make my exit.

In reading this blog I take it that Agathiyar is addressing me and my weaknesses too for I can relate to the many flaws and weaknesses of people highlighted throughout these writings. I read and reread them for it is an eye-opener and learning to me too. The messages in this blog might change over time. But rest assured that it was right at that moment in time with whatever little understanding that prevailed then. As we gain more lessons through newer experiences our perspective and understanding do change, hence it calls for a reevaluation and a new revelation in a new light.

What was once considered impossible is possible today. When our ancestors stood and watched the beauty of the moon then, and worshiped it, man has placed his foot on the moon. What would our ancestors say to this? That we have treaded on holy ground? Science has made it possible and man can choose to park or land his machine precisely where he wants in space, on the moon, or other planets. Does that mean our ancestors were naive and superstitious? Were they not bright or intelligent? But looking around at the remnants of the buildings they left behind, we, in turn, tend to stare in awe and admire these master builders for their work, given that they did not have the technology and machines that we have now. How did they do it? They had similar talent and knowledge and intelligence required for survival and existence then. They went beyond building simple dwellings to stay in to give us some of the best architecture and sights. The streets of Mohenjadaro are said to be planned and executed intelligently by our ancestors that has baffled modern architects. Similarly, since we have come to realize new findings and experiences on the spiritual path it does not mean that we should look down on the ways of our ancestors. They were equally religious and spiritual for their age and time. As intelligence expanded man too had bigger visions or vice versa. How falsely we have come to claim that we have discovered new lands. The land was there so were the native people who inhabited these lands. Every law was in place. Man only discovered it. Man only came to understand it. Man could create a body and give it life but he could never create another Atma. 

The Siddhas words are never written in stone. The most compassionate Siddhas are willing to rewrite our fate. When Tavayogi and later Agathiyar in a Nadi reading told me to frequent a local chapter of his peedham in Malaysia to learn about the Siddhas, Agathiyar had another option waiting for me provided I took it up. When I took up the directive and returned to Tavayogi for another initiation after Agathiyar directed me in the Nadi, the reading was mysteriously erased and rewritten. I was to journey to Tavayogi's ashram, stay and travel with him. He made the switch when I listened to him. 

Ramalinga Adigal in wanting to give a solution to a devotee's dilemma asked for a piece of lime but as we had none then, he had the devotee sent over to a deity to solve his problems. 

Another devotee who did not have the resources to travel to India to carry out her parikaram was given a simpler deal in exchange. She was asked to cook and distribute food for 8 families during 8 amavasai or new moon days.

Once Bhogar asked for Tulasi leaves. As we told him the plant had wilted, he asked for the leaves of the Malai vembu instead. 

Agathiyar too who had asked for betel leaves to treat a devotee's knee injury opted to settle for a banana leaf instead. 

The Siddhas are very accommodating provided we are willing to listen and follow. Their concern is for our well-being. If they rush us there is a reason for it. Know that time was running out. They shall initially give us some leeway and time to honeymoon but once they need us they come claiming us in whatever way possible. If we take up the call all shall be well. They shall take the reins. Henceforth we can take a ride with them sitting as a passenger and enjoying the ride. But it is difficult for the "I" to let go of the reins. It is indeed a battle to let go of the "I". The "I" wants to be in control. The "I" is the problem of all our conflicts. When it dies down all wars and battles end. Enmity and jealousy end. We do not retaliate. The situation settles down. Peace and calm prevail. 

To those whom Agathiyar knows that they can only follow, he sends them to the temples where they can find solace while abiding by the rules set there. To one who is more adventurous in wanting to make contact with the realm of the Siddhas, he brings him to carry out the rituals. To another who wants to connect to his Udal, Uyir, and Atma, he brings him to yoga. Finally, when he surrenders, losing the "I", Agathiyar comes within. 

As we phased out of reading the Nadi, Agathiyar and the Siddhas began to speak to us through their devotees. When it was time to go within Agathiyar dropped the Nadi and came within to enlighten us too through this blog. We shall read and grow together.

NOTEBOOK 1

The Paramatma when it takes a form and life is known as Jeevatma. Coming within and working its way to the state of a Jeevanmukta, the Paramatma sees the world through the Jeevanmukta. These are the saints who watch life go by. They need not move in this world of man but if the need arises they move things so very subtly that we are not aware until we see the results in our favor. Neem Karoli Baba, Ramana Maharishi, Ramalinga Adigal, and Tavayogi like many other saints were said to be seen in several places while their devotees stood firm and vouched that they never moved a limb. 

A man who sheds his "I" leaves his home empty for the divine to occupy. The divine then walks in and walks in him. It speaks through him. The divine that deals blow through others and breaks our hearts, comes to mend our hearts later too through these saints and their sayings. 

Then they do come momentarily into others too, insignificant people like me. Agathiyar in coming for the very first time through his bronze statue at AVM in 2010, had told me that he would momentarily place my Atma in his statue while he walked the ground blessing his devotees. 

In all this play where do we exist then? We are just the form and life that is given a name, that has come to fulfill the role given to us in his play. But the "I" in us raises its hood and thinks it's in charge and changes the script and the divine play. We mess things up. The "I" drives the divine into hiding. The "I" that is in a gaseous state lights up by just a stroke of the match and a drastic change takes place in the person. The "I" that is akin to charcoal needs to be lit and fanned to burn. The "I" that is the peat cannot be helped. It just refuses to be lit. It is frustrating to have this kind of people around who neither are aware nor listen or want to change. I guess we cannot work on them. Only lives experiences resulting from repetitive blows might awaken them from their deep slumber. Indeed Agathiyar told us to move on less we fall out too waiting for them to turn up or catch up. But there come times when we feel it is our responsibility to bring others to the path that has given us much. 

People at large have a hard time coming to accept change. They are so used to the norm that when laid off, when they reach the age of pension, or when death approaches them they cannot come to terms with it. I used to see a man riding a bike on the road as I leave my office each day. Then I was told that that man turns up at the office though he was retired. An aged uncle of my colleague was telling his kin who stood around his death bed someone was taking his money even as he breathed his last. Immediately after the lockdown was lifted people went back to the norm and habit. They thronged the malls' window shopping. Many just as they go to bed with anger and never live another day to bring themselves to forgive others. 

In the movie, Vinodhya Sitham, the lead character makes all the decisions in his company and exerts the same on his family too to the extent he even decides for his grown-up children. When Kala comes to claim him he cannot release his hold on things. He questions how the company and his family are going to survive without him. Kala extends his lifespan for 3 months after giving an ear to his pleading. Kala follows him into his home and office. He begins knocking some sense in him telling him that he is neither indisposable nor indispensable. 

One who drops the "I" can easily adapt himself to all situations. Lao Tzu says to go with the flow. That means just watch. If there is a need to participate do so but ensure minimal impact on what is happening around us. When we can surrender our lives to the driver of the vehicles as in a cab, bus, and train, and surrender to the captain of the boat, ferry, or ship, or surrender to the pilot of the plane, why cannot we surrender to the all-knowing divine? Having made plans we board the vehicles to our destination. So too should we plan our lives and leave them in the hands of the divine. He knows better. If we make ourselves adaptable to change we can fit into these changes quite easily. If we accept the changes that come our way, a new adventure shall begin. When Suren planned on an itinerary with Jnana Jothiamma some years back, Agathiyar intercepted them and made Suren go to his Pothigai peak instead. 

On another note, the trend these days is to raise a child reading the internet. So have many spiritual guides mushroomed on the net teaching various paths. To ascertain that I did not make the same mistake I asked Suren about it. He assured me that what I posted on this blog was merely my experiences. There was only teaching by example and not teaching of doctrines. When Acharya Gurudasan asked me why I did not teach others the yoga and pranayama techniques I learned from Tavayogi I replied that what was taught was for me to learn and practice. Tavayogi did not ask me to teach another. Only recently did Agathiyar ask me to teach Mahin and have Mahin teach his buddies. While Mahin was ready to teach others only a handful stayed back to learn. The lure towards other pleasures and the weight of their daily responsibilities I supposed are greater than the lure of bhakti and giving back to the divine. The latter is put on hold in favor of the former. When traveling with Tavayogi to officiate a peedham in Banting he told me to speak about the Siddhas. I had just taken a few steps on the path then. How could I talk about them? What was I to say about them? But he went ahead and tricked me into delivering a speech. I stammered to speak, taken by surprise. As all I knew then was Tavayagi, I spoke a few words about him and his ashram and quickly switched to reciting the Arutperunjothi mantra. The rest too began to follow and I was saved not by the bell but by this maha-mantra that day.

I was searching for God in the books in the good old days. These days many do the same too searching the net for God. Very few walk the path under the tutelage of a physical guru. We are blessed that Tavayogi came along, sent by Agathiyar to our shores. Rather than hold on to Tavayogi and miss his teachings, we took hold of his teachings and held tight to Agathiyar, thanks to the bashing I received from Tavayogi. Tavayogi had snubbed me the very day I invited him into my home. I was elated and overjoyed had had him over at my house but he killed that joy immediately after I expressed my joy in words. He told me I was living in Maya, believing every saffron-clad or Kavi-clad man to be a saint who can do wonders. He said he was no Samy or Holy man but an Asamy or cheat. He told me he had nothing hidden beneath his Kavi and not to be deceived. He told me to place my faith in Agathiyar.

When I asked Tavayogi why I only came to know of the Siddha path at 43 I thought he would give a long discourse like how Lord Krishna gave Arjuna on the battlefield of Kurukshetra. But he snubbed me telling me that I should be grateful that at least I had come then. This is how the Siddhas snub us or put another question before us rather than delight us with lengthy answers.  I thank him today for being harsh to me that day. He knocked some sense in me that saved me later from falling for Godmen. As a result, we saw much progress. These experience has brought us to share them with others on this blog and the many books published online.  The learning is going on so does the experience. 

The Siddhas are deemed misfits in society. Society sees them as weird. It is only when people want a favor that they seek the Siddhas, as in wanting to know their future or why they were going through problems in the Nadi or seeking a Siddha physician hoping for a magical cure or something. Never does one want to come to the fold of the Siddha just for its sake. This was both Agathiyar's and Tavayogi's lamentation. People prefer to be in this world of pleasure falling back on the Siddhas or deities when the need arises. On the other hand, a Siddha would be immersed in "his" world coming into our world when he hears the cries of people. That is the compassion of the Siddhas.

REALIZATION

How could I have missed it? The signs were there. How could I have missed the teachings? It was so obvious. How could I have missed the teachings of Agathiyar and Tavayogi? From day one both of them had made me drop everything but being the idiot that I am I could not see through their teachings.

When I met Tavayogi in Malaysia in 2005 he asked me to frequent the local peedham of his in Malaysia that he had come to officiate as I told him Agathiyar had asked me to come to the worship of the Siddhas in 2002 through a Nadi reading. I did as told. As Tavayogi was to leave for India, Agathiyar in my second Nadi reading days before his departure asked me to frequent the local peedham too. As Agathiyar told me to get another initiation from Tavayogi the same night and I did as told, the Nadi reading was mysteriously erased. There was no mention of the local peedham in a rereading. Agathiyar made me drop the hold on peedhams, movements, societies etc. I never went back to the peedham after he channeled me to Tavayogi's Kallar Ashram. Agathiyar made me drop frequenting a peedham even before I could get attached to it. Agathiyar had me visit and stay in Tavayogi's ashram for some days instead. 

When Tavayogi agreed to visit my home I was elated and on cloud nine at having a turavi step into my home for the very first time. But he dashed my happiness and joy telling me bluntly in my face that I was caught in Maya and that he was a nobody and that I should hold on to the feet of Agathiyar instead. Though his words were painful and hurt a lot he had me drop my hold on him that day. I held to Agathiyar alone. But I am grateful he said that. Otherwise, I would be holding to him and worshipping him instead of Agathiyar. 

When I was at his ashram he made me drop my attachment to the gems that I wore on me telling me "We do not need these, my son." I had challenged the proprietor of a gem store when he chased me away from his shop telling me "You cannot afford these, go away!" I was just a lad browsing through his collection out of curiousity back then. When I met Supramania Swami in later years he told me to wear it as it shall do some good. He had helped me fulfill my desire to wear one. But Tavayogi had me drop that too. Similarly I came along to fulfil Supramania Swami's 40 year old wish to build a temple. But as we laid the ground work a stranger turned up at his kudil and asked him why he was going back to bakthi as he was a gnani? Swami dropped the desire that day.

When Agathiyar asked that I build a temple for him in my first Nadi reading, I did search for a suitable place to place Agathiyar's murthy in existing temples. But I was turned down by the temple committees. He made me drop the idea for good by giving me these disappointments. Later when Lord Murugan brought up the subject in 2018 I was not keen anymore. As I did not move he had Agathiyar come and convince me. But as I remained silent, Agathiyar said he would get it done in 18 months time. When the time came he told me that they had tested me. The idea was dropped for good. 

Even as I engaged in my bachelor days in vigorous worship of the deities and much reading, Lord Shiva had me drop everything. As he set me on track again this time taking the reigns of the Siddha path in 2002, Agathiyar sent many seekers to my home AVM to learn the worship of the Siddhas beginning 2013. We engaged in Aram and Tavam. But he had us drop everything in September of 2019. 

As I looked back on the past two years as a wasted period as there was nothing achieved staying behind closed doors as directed by him and partly as a result of the numerous lockdowns, Agathiyar told me it was not wasted. Not able to comprehend how he said it was not wasted, Mahin brought me the realization that I had dropped everything in the past two years. Indeed the Aram and Tavam were brought to a close and I dropped the attachment to the group too. Going back beyond the past two years I had dropped several other offers too. I turned down the gift of receiving the Nadi that I could use for myself and others who sought advice. I had asked to drop the gift of healing others too. Now I realize why I had unknowingly turned them down. All these would bring me to stagnate there. 

I then realized his play right from the start that I missed understanding. If I had thought that the spiritual path too was alike the material world where we accumulate titles, possessions, followers and fans, etc, Agathiyar and Tavayogi who had all the while been teaching me to drop things, made me realize that it was not about accumulating things but to drop everything. How wonderful. I feel free and light.

BECOMING A CHILD AGAIN

There was a time when Agathiyar set me on a regime asking me to consume his formula daily to expel the Vata, Kapha, and Pitta beginning with his Agathiyar Kuzhambu. Then the cleansing began to take place on its own. My granddaughter would watch me blow out the mucus from the nose and expel the phlegm, and the bile, coughing it out into a mug that I always had by my side as it comes on as I hit the sack. She asked me why it happens in the midst of our bedtime stories. I began to explain the change that need to take place if we were to become jothi or light. One has to transform his asudha deham to sudha deham and later to pranava deham. Then this is followed by gnana deham and oli deham. I told her I would like to become the light. She went into deep thought and came out of it. She told me she does not want to become light but would like to remain a child. How an apt answer and a wonderful desire it was. She was already divine in nature and wants to prolong it. She is tasting divinity each moment and wants to enjoy it further. 

In the eyes of Lao Tzu, “the infant with its pristine purity and innocence is the perfect symbol of Tao itself.” He goes on to say that one needs to bring tenderness in him. 

Imagine being like a little child again and believing everything you hear. There is something so wonderful about that trusting, open-hearted naivete that God loves. The more I have grown up, the more I realize that maturity in Christ is all about “growing down.” It is about becoming a child again. Not being childish but being childlike in our ways and our thinking. (Source: http://www1.cbn.com/Devotions/being-a-child)

I was one to believe everything said. I took the Nadi readings as the gospel. I took Tavayogi's words as divine commandments. Recently when Agathiyar explained the Udal, Uyir and Atma, while some looked elsewhere for another explanation I brooded on it for days and many things dawn on me that came out as subsequent posts.

Henry Wei in his book “The Guiding Light of Lao Tzu”, Synergy Books International, writes that both Lao Tzu and Jesus consider reversion to the state of a child as necessary for salvation for entrance into the kingdom of heaven. 

Ervin Laszlo in bringing us an insight into the mind of the child tells us that, "Young children up to the age of 4 or 5 are permanently in the open region of activity, alpha region or theta region. Children are in that region until they are 8 or 9 years old."

"These are the slowest recorded brain waves in human beings. They are found most often in infants as well as young children." (From https://mentalhealthdaily.com/ we learn of delta waves.)

There is many a thing that we could learn from a child. We only need to observe them closely and they shall teach us too. My four-year-old granddaughter, a Generation Alpha, asks me a year back "Who is God?" This reminded me then of my daughter, a Gen Z, who asked Tavayogi "Why do people die?" and "Where is the Soul?" when she was only 7 years of age back then in 2005. It never occurred to us to ask these questions when we were a child. We see a drastic change and leap in all fields in recent years with the advent of Gen Y, Z, and Alpha. 

It is said that Atmas relive the experience in animals and plants and other living matter. Finally, it is cleared to take on a human birth. This human birth is considered rare by the Siddhas and saints. In the Mongolian film "The Cave of the Yellow Dog", a Grandma tells a kid a story to illustrate why human birth is so valuable. A small child who happens to arrive at the tent of an old woman, while looking for her pet dog that had gone astray, is given a good wash and tidied up, and fed by the old woman. While waiting for someone to claim her in the wide and vast Mongolian-Manchurian grassland or steppe the Grandma tells her a story.

"I will tell you a story. Long ago a rich man lived in this land. He had a beautiful daughter but she fell ill. No medicine could help so the father decided to ask a wise man for advice. The wise man said, "Your yellow dog must be sent away." The father asked, "But why he protects us and our herd." He replied, "That is what I have to say and what you wanted to know." The father did not have the heart to send away the dog. But for his daughter's sake, he had to do something. So he hid the dog in a cave that was impossible to escape from. He brought it food every day. But one day the dog was gone. The daughter did get better. Soon the daughter was in love with a young man, and they got married and had a child."

The child then asks Grandma "What happened to the yellow dog?" 

"Perhaps the dog was born with a ponytail", replied Grandma. 

When Grandma suggested that the dog might have taken birth as a human in its next life, the child puts forth another question to her, "Will I be reborn as a person in my next life?" The grandma of the Buddhist faith then explains the concept of birth and how difficult it is to gain a human birth in a simple manner and through a simple illustration to the child. 

Grandma: "Come I shall show you something." She gives her a needle and a tray of rice grains. She has the child place grains onto the tip of a needle. "Tell me when a grain of rice balances on the tip of the needle."

Child: (after several attempts): "That's not possible."

Grandma: "That's how difficult it is to get a human birth. That's why human birth is so valuable. See my child how hard it is to be born as a human being." 

Once back home, the child asked her mother if she (her mother) could remember her previous life. She replies "No," and that only children could remember them and always talk about them. "Only little children can do that; they often tell colorful stories. People say they are always talking about previous lives."

I guess the 1 to 5 varahai where the Atma lingers and spends some quality time with these children before veiling itself as revealed by Agathiyar, are the moments where their previous lives are screened to them. Similarly, we are told that at the end of our show here, again we are treated to a recording of our show, to have us recall all we did in this life. In the former, if we are given a run-through of what to expect although as Atmas we already had decided what we wanted and where and when to be born, in the latter, since our next birth has to be justified, we are shown all the proof to substantiate the decision and reasons to take another birth.

If some species reproduce using external fertilization, that is fertilization happens externally as in the plant and lower animal kingdom, in the remainder of the animal kingdom and humans it is within the female species that this wonder takes place. After several losses, Agathiyar asked a devotee whether he wanted a child that came as a result of an act of lust or a child that was divine in nature. As God is love or Anbe Shivam, the latter carries the seeds of love in them later. Hence we understand the reason many are asked to wait at times for years by Agathiyar to be blessed with healthy and good children. We have heard of stories from the past where parents undertook tapas, went on pilgrimages, and conducted Havas or yagam, badly wanting to have a child. Many have asked a child for a boon. These children later became saints, gurus, or spiritual leaders. 

Then there are other reasons to ask us to hold on patiently too. Sri Velayudham Karthikeyan Aiya had posted an episode on Thursday, 25 December 2014, that reminds us to take heed of Agathiyar's words and advice. A very young couple came to the Jeeva Nadi Guru of Chennai for a reading one day. The boy's parents were separated. The girl's father had passed away. No one wants to come forward to solemnize the marriage. They wanted to go ahead and marry and asked to know if they would face any problems. They wanted Agathiyar's opinion on that matter. Agathiyar reveals their relationship was linked to a past birth. Although they will face no problems getting married Agathiyar requested them to delay the marriage for as long as possible. They became disappointed. While the girl asked how long should they postpone the event the boy interrupted saying that they wanted to get married as soon as possible. He had decided and he only wanted to know if there was any atonement or parikaram for them from Agathiyar to follow. Agathiyar tells them that there is no parikaram for this. There are many reasons why Agathiyar asked to delay this marriage. The child yet to be born has to be healthy. He reveals that as it was they have had intimacy many times even before getting married. Agathiyar ended the reading by saying that the rest is their choice. They left disappointed with the outcome of the reading. The Jeeva Nadi Guru realized that the boy did not believe in Nadi and astrology. 

After 1 1/2 years, they came back looking sad. They had gone ahead and married despite Agathiyar asking them to delay the marriage. They cried for forgiveness and admitted that it was a mistake that they did not heed Agathiyar's words back then. Now they were facing the consequences of their actions. The boy started to narrate what had happened. His family circle did not have offspring. A male child was a rarity within this family. He rushed to get married wanting to fulfill and fill this void. When the child was born, the newly born male child was born with an increased head circumference or Macrocephaly. He looked horrendous, said the father. They wanted to know if their child would become normal like any other child.

Agathiyar says there are times when he can only reveal indirectly and only caution the seeker. The seeker has to understand and take heed. "Why should I show interest in changing your fate? It's not necessary! But when one comes to me, I shall try my level best to show them a way. Those who don't believe need not follow Agathiyar's advice. Let things happen as fated. Those who refuse to listen need not come to me! You are one of those."

Agathiyar reveals a secret to them. His father since young was a womanizer. The girl's mother was one of the victims. As the boy's father and the girl's mother had a relationship they both were siblings. That was one of the reasons his father never stayed with his mother. Since now both of them have passed away Agathiyar chose to reveal. The girl who was angered hearing this immediately began blaming Agathiyar for not revealing the secret a year and a half back. She said they would not have gotten married if they knew this at the very first place. The boy too joined in and questioned, "If we had waited a year would this problem not have arisen?" Agathiyar replied that they had to undergo their karma for some time and quickly added that it was not due to his curse that they are facing these problems. It was fate. He had given the advice then so that they could change their fate. But they refused to listen and understand. He told them the past has passed. But the most compassionate father did not give up on them. He asked them not to worry. A foreign doctor will operate on their deformed child. The parents were assured that although the swelling would not subside entirely, the child would not look horrendous. The child shall live. But they would have to wait five to ten years to see the results, added Agathiyar. After 12 years the couple arrived with a perfectly healthy and intelligent son and they have since then become staunch devotees of Agathiyar.

If children who are an embodiment of truth, purity, and innocence pay the price for the adult's actions, some Atmas make a calculated move, while others are kicked into taking an immediate birth. There are then the Atmas waiting in line to come in, given the very first chance. They come as a result of an act of love. We need to be responsible parents and view everything as sacred. Agathiyar in his Kavadi Chinthu expresses that the bliss of the Lord permeates every action of us and every sector of our lives.

As for us, we have been corrupted to the extend divinity has left us. Looking around we find the act of sex has turned into one that appeases the needs of the flesh. It has lost its divinity. Sex has degraded into pure lust. Then there are the cases where sex is forced on the partner without love but out of lust. Similarly many use religion and spiritualism to fleece the believers. Anyone who trips and falls is said to have gone into samadhi. Yoga has been corrupted these days. The words yoga, samadhi, mukti, siddhi, have all lost their true meanings. The truth has gone into hiding. Now we are searching for it and see it as a goal to set and achieve. We begin to set goals to achieve a state that is already inherent in us. Everyone is a Buddha. Everyone has a Buddha-nature. It is just that most do not realize their state as they are veiled in illusion and Maya. In actuality, it is all there hidden by our fears, jealousy, enmity, and all other negative traits. Once the veil drops we see our true self that is pure and innocent as the child. 

UDAL, UYIR & ATMA SIMPLIFIED

As I was watching the movie Vinodhaya Sitham again this time with the family, my granddaughter had so many questions. I took her to the room to explain to her what she saw in the first 23 minutes of the movie where the lead character dies in a car crash and his Atma meets with Kala. Striking a deal with the timekeeper, he heads home to finish his unfinished businesses, shadowed and followed by Kala who insists that he accompany the family man. While the rest watched the movie, I had to figure a way to simplify things for her. How do you explain to a four-year-old the concept of life and death? I took up a piece of blank paper and began to draw out the concept. I don't know if she understood, but I began to have a better understanding. 

First, if we look at ourselves, there is a Udal or body. It is considered alive only if there is breath traversing through it, be it a human, an animal, or plant. I pointed to the things in the room and asked her if there was life in it. No, because it does not breathe. Breathing indicates that there is life. This breath is Uyir. I explained to her that the reason I practice inhaling and exhaling deeply and asked her to do it too is to get connected with the Uyir.

When this Udal and Uyir come together this is known as Jeeva. Life begins.

Then I told her that there is the Atma that is one and in many too at the same time. It is God. It is Agatheesa. And it is you and me. 

I stopped at that. But I shall continue further for my readers.

The Atma is with and appears in the Jeeva on the onset of life in the body and watches over it till a time when it veils itself. This period according to Agathiyar is 1 to 5 varahai. I have yet to find its equivalent in modern times. When the Atma is with and in the Jeeva it is called Jeevatma. When it is with and in the source it is known as Paramatma. When the individual loses his identity or "I" the Atma reveals itself coming to the fore from behind the veil. The veil drops that instant. The Atma then leads the individual to the path that brings him or her to see the truth that he or she is the Atma and one with the Paramatma. It is Self-realization. The birth and dawn of Arivu that brings on this realization is Gnanam.

It is only in human birth that this avenue to know the source and reach it is made available. The Uyir or breath that gives the Udal or body life and sustains it, when through pranayama is channeled beyond the respiratory system and touches the Atma, coupled with the constant thought of the Paramatma, the Jeevatma that is basically vibration is enhanced multifold.

As the vibration is intensified through japa, rituals, pranayama and the constant thought of the Paramatma, the Jeevatma reaches the Paramatma. In reaching it is to be taken as the the Jeevatma attains the might of the Paramatma. This is what Ramalinga Adigal describes as God giving him his staff of authority and having him take his place and execute his duties.

In the movie the man who has yet to drop his "I" leaves abruptly. Kala in giving him an extension and accompanies him back to finish his worldly responsiblities and desires in the short time of 3 months, has him drop the "I". The Atma leaves with Kala taking it into his arms and leading him to heaven. Our end too is somewhat depicted like this by Agathiyar.

PASSING OVER

I do not remember how old I was but I remember vividly something that I saw and sensed. As this experience took place in this rented home of ours among the many others we had stayed in earlier I must have been between the ages of 7 and 15. I had gone to bed. I was suddenly hovering close to the ceiling of our family home looking down on myself, my brother, and my father who slept in the same room and I could see my mother and sisters sleeping in the next room. I would linger for a long time hovering and floating. I would keep looking around for a while before I began to swing left and right. I would suddenly sink and nose-dive back into my body. It was like a dream but only that this would happen almost every day for some time. I did not share with anyone nor did I make a fuss over it. As I did not understand this at that age it was not important to me. Today as I flip through Ruzbeh N Bharucha's book "The Fakir - The Journey Continues" given by a devotee couple who visited Agathiyar at AVM taking up his call in wanting to see all his devotees, a similar episode is narrated in the first few pages of the book. Rudra has this experience but he then realized that he was out of his body. He was told that he was dead by Baba. When Rudra asked to be back in his body Baba asked him to "will it". 

Then Rudra tells Baba that one Sneha was pulling him. Baba says that she was remembering him. When a famed Nadi guru passed away Agathiyar had told his next of kin not to carry out the religious rites that are customary after the burial, as it would pull him out of his state of tavam in Pothihai. I was surprised to learn that the Atma could continue its tavam after passing over. Agathiyar explained that by remembering him the Atma would be caught between whether to continue meditating or return to the call of the family. This was shared with me by a close friend of the Nadi guru. Baba too explains the same that the Atma shall be pulled down and not able to move on. Baba explains that "As the pull will not let the Atma be in peace that is why we urge people not to moan and cry for their loved ones once they have passed over." I did not shed a tear for either Supramania Swami or Tavayogi upon hearing of their demise. Supramania Swami a few days before he passed over told me he had seen the jothi. As that is what we strive for so why should one cry? When I asked Tavayogi what should I do as his (Supramania Swami) lone disciple Tavayogi asked me to pray that his Atma is placed in a high place. So when Tavayogi passed over I did not cry too. Why should I cry? When Dr. Krishnan passed over I stood at his side and burst into joy. Imagine someone laughing at a funeral?  I was glad no one took notice. I could connect to his Atma. I knew that his Atma was happy. So why should I cry? Some time back the followers and public were informed with regret that their guru had passed over. Now, why should that be a sad occasion when she had put in so much work and saved so many Atma? Is merging with Siva Patham a sad thing? Isn't that everyone's wish? The Thiruvasagam is always sung at funerals. Ain't that a bit late to recall that song then? Should not that be sung when one is alive and attain Siva Patham while still ALIVE?Agathiyar too reminds us to call out to the Lord while we are still hale and healthy and before it's too late. The song goes ...

At that moment of inability, immobility, and gone senile, or with acute illness, he says he might not be able to utter the name of Lord Narayana, hence he reminds us to take the opportunity to sing the praise of the Lord right now at this very moment while we are hale and healthy, quite akin to saving for a raining day.

At that hour when death approaches me I am not sure if I will remember you, hence I am remembering you now Narayana, please take heed of my calling, 

When kapam or phlegm arises and my tongue quivers, I am not sure if I will remember you, hence I am calling you now so that you would appear then to save me, Lord Narayana, 

When vayu or the vital air comes to a halt, and all senses seize to function, and my soul begins to leave, I am not sure if I would be thinking of you, hence I call out to you now so that you come to my aid then,

When all that I thought was mine suddenly is of no significance and importance at the time of death, I am not sure if I will remember you my Lord, but nevertheless, I pray that you would come then Lord Narayana, hence I am calling you out now, 

When Yama's servants appear to bind and take me away, I cannot promise that I would think of you, hence I call you now my Lord, 

When my next of kin surround my death bed and wail and cry out, I don't know if your thought will arise in me, hence I cry out for you my Lord this very moment, so that you would appear to save me during my final moments! and so the song goes on.

This is what we should be doing daily for we might not be even able to say his name, let alone call out to him to save us in our hour of need.

நாராயணா ஸ்ரீமத் நாராயணா

பத்ரி நாராயணா ஹரி நாராயணா

நாராயணா ஸத்ய நாராயணா

சூர்ய நாராயணா லக்ஷ்மி நாராயணா

நொந்துடலும் கிழமாகித் தளர்ந்தபின்

நோயில் நடுங்கிடும் போது – ஜீவ

நாடிகள் நைந்திடும் போது – மனம்

எண்ணிடுமோ தெரியாது – இன்று

கசிந்துன்னைக் கூவுகின்றேன் அருள் 

செய்திடுவாய் ஹரி நாராயணா

நீடு கபம் கோழை ஈழை நெருக்கி – என்

நெஞ்சை அடைத்திடும் போது

நாவும் குழறியபோது – மனம் உன்னை

எண்ணிடுமோ தெரியாது – நான்

அன்றுனைக் கூவிட இன்றழைத்தேன் எனை

ஆண்டருள்வாய் ஹரி நாராயணா

ஐம்பொறியும் கரணங்களும் வாயுவும்

ஆடி அடங்கிடும் போது – எந்தன்

ஆவி பிரிந்திடும்போது – மனம்

எண்ணிடுமோ தெரியாது – இன்று

நம்பி உனைத் தொழுதே அழைத்தேன்

ஜகன் நாயகனே ஹரி நாராயணா

உற்றவர் பெற்றவர் மற்றவர் சுற்றமும்

ஒவென்று நின்றழும்போது – உயிர்

ஓசைகள் ஓய்ந்திடும்போது – மனம்

எண்ணிடுமோ தெரியாது – இன்று

பற்றி உனைப் பணிந்தே அழைத்தேன் – ஆபத்

பாந்தவனே ஹரி நாராயணா

என்பொருள் என்மனை என்றதெல்லாம் இனி

இல்லை என்றாகிடும் போது – மனம்

எண்ணிடுமோ தெரியாது – நீ

அன்று வரும் பொருட்டின்றழைத்தேன் அருள்

அச்சுதனே ஹரி நாராயணா

வந்தமெதூர் வளைத்து பிடித்தெனை

வாவென்றிழுத்திடும் போது – மனம்

எண்ணிடுமோ தெரியாது – அந்த

அந்தியம் நீ வர இன்றழைத்தேன்

ஸச்சிதானந்தனே ஹரி நாராயணா

NO STRINGS ATTACHED

Looking back now I realized that AVM in a way was an Ashram. Agathiyar selected several Atmas to come by and learn the worship of the Siddhas. Then he sent them away to practice in their homes and bring others too into their fold. Having served its purpose it was disbanded. No strings attached. That is how we traveled the path of the Siddhas. 

Traveling the path we realize that we only see the superficial and physical. The Siddhas see the Atma and the subtle. For instance when I thought all the four times I hurt my back was due to initially clearing my throat, then exertion, clearing space for my daughter's engagement, or a sneeze, Agathiyar told me otherwise. 

After I ventured to carry out yoga asanas and pranayama in 2007 Bhrigu came on 10.3.2007 to reveal that this practice would result in the internal heat building up.

ஒப்பில்லா ஞான கனல் தேகம் தன்னில் உருவாகும் தவ ஞான பயிற்சி தன்னால்.

Pathanjali came to mention the inherent changes taking place on 18.5.2008. In carrying out the yoga practices the aura and chakras shall be enhanced. Kundalini shall rise.

பயிற்சிகளும் முறையே செய்ய வர்ணமும் ஆதாரம் சித்தி ஓங்கும். வண்ணமதாய் பயிற்சிகளும் முறையே செய்ய வளம் பெருக்கும் வர்ணமும் ஆதாரம் சித்தி. கொண்டதோர் குண்டலினி ஓங்கும் பாரு.

The continued practice of Yoga Asanas and Pranayama that Tavayogi taught us on his visit to Malaysia in 2007 and the Siddhas revealed in the Nadi led to many changes that took place within. The volume of prana inhaled expanded to the brim of the lungs and the body burst. But the feeling was that of joy, not the least hurtful. Agathiyar on 9.8.2010 points out that the tapas has generated extreme heat within what he calls Gnana Kanal.

உண்டான ஞான கனல் மிகுந்த காலம் உயர்வான காலம் இது இந்தக் காலம்.

On 17.10.2010 Agathiyar mentioned that what is generally achieved through Hathayoga is now possible through Tapas and Puja. But he points out that my health was declining. He asked to see a Siddha physician who can bring it back to its former state. With his grace, I shall recover well.

அடையோகம் தன்னில் கிட்டும் சித்தி எல்லாம் அவையனைத்தும் தவமொடு வழிபாட்டில் பெறுவாய். ஆனதொரு ஆரோக்கியம் மட்டும் சோடை. ஒளடதமும் பிடகனை அறிந்து ஏற்க்கவே மாற்றங்கள் ஏற்றம் கிட்டும். என் அருளால் பூரணமாய் பரிசுத்தம் காண்பாய்.

Then my back hurt very much. I pulled a nerve as I cleared my throat during my morning bath as always. As I threw out the sputum, I felt an excruciating pain in my left buttocks, that went down right up to my toes. It made me squat in pain. I had to crawl out of the bathroom after some time. The pain aggravated day by day. Initially, I could not walk for a long-distance and a long time and had to look for a place to rests my feet and aching back. Then I could not sit for long too. Sitting was itself painful. Then the pain woke me up in my sleep. I had to crawl out of bed. What was to be a restful sleep turned into a nightmare as I would wake up with bodily pains. That is how I shuttled between work and home. Driving was painful too as I had to engage the clutch. To my officemates who asked about my posture and pain I jokingly told them I hurt my back chopping a banana tree that became a joke for some time. Seeking the late Dr. Krishnan, a Siddha physician, and friend, for advice, he checked three aspects of my health and struck them off as potential causes or reasons. I did not have pain while urinating. Neither did I have blood in my urine. So I had no stone in me. My feet were not swollen so my kidneys were fine. Lastly, he asked me to take an X-ray to determine if I had slip disc. I headed for the nearest government clinic. The X-ray showed nothing wrong with my back and backbone. But they referred me to the Orthopedic Specialist at the general hospital for a second opinion. Though she gave me a clean slate since I was suffering in pain she referred me to the clinic to begin my session of physiotherapy that brought much relief momentarily. I began physiotherapy on 12.5.2011. Meanwhile, I called up to see Ramesh and read Agathiyar's Nadi on 9.8.2011. Agathiyar specifically addressed my issue in his நடைமுறை பிரசன்ன ஆசி நூல். 

He asked that I drop the fear. Having chanted Agathiyar's name now it ran within me even at times when I do not do it. Hence he shall take care.

ஆக்கையிலும் அகத்தியன் அருளும் பார்வையும் அருள்படிய மிகுந்திருக்க குழப்பம் கொள்ள. தக்கதொரு அகத்தீசன் நாமம் ஓதி ஓதியே உருவும் ஏறி ஓதாத காலத்திலும் ஓதி கொண்டிருக்கு. உருவேற்றி உருவேற்றி உயர்வடைய செய்தாய். உன்னை காத்து வாழவைப்பேன் நானும். 

He came again on 26.11. 2011 giving me assurance. He explained that my agony was Paareesa Peedai or was merely sensory perception that was external and "superficial, existing or occurring at or on the surface and  உடலின் ஒரு பக்கம், appearing to be true or real only until examined more closely." 

My discomfort was due to the Muladhara chakra having gained extreme heat. He says the Muladhara chakra had attained intense heat resulting in my condition leading to immobility. He added that the three dosas were not in their ideal proportions. He suggested two herbal preparations, Amalaki and Tripala be taken. He asked me to end my Tapas immediately. He asked that I worship the Sun and Lord Muruga.

தரணிதன்னில் எங்கள் வழி மார்க்கத்தில் தப்பாது பூசையும் தவமும் செய்து தான் உயர்வு அடைந்திட்ட பாலகன் உனக்குத் தரணியே உயிர் பிணி ஏது சொல்வோம் உடல் பிணி ஏதுதான். அச்சம்கொள்ள. பாரிச பீடைகளும் வந்து நிற்கும். உற்றதொரு மூலாதார சக்கரமும் உயர் விதமாய் உட்டனங்கள் அடைந்ததனாலே உரைக்க வரும் சோர்வும் தேகம் தன்னில். உரைக்கலாம் முக்கூற்று திருப்பும் இப்போ முறையாகச் சம நிலையில் இல்லாதிருக்க சோதனைகள் வந்து நிற்க்கும் அச்சம் மிதந்து. சிறப்பு தரும் வாகடமும் செப்பலாம். அமலாகி வாகடனத்தை சுத்தமுடன் மண்டலங்கள் எடுக்க நன்று. சிறப்பு தரும் யோகம் மாறாத் தனக்கு இப்போ த்ரிபலாகி லேகியம். செப்பலாம் தவம் தன்னை நிறுத்திவைக்க.  சிறப்பு இருக்கு வழிபாடும் முறையே மாறாது சூரிய வழிபாடும் செய்ய வழிபாடும் வேலவர்க்கும் முறையே செய்யப் பங்கம் ஏதும் வந்திடாது கலக்கம் கொள்ள.

Agathiyar monitored my state regularly coming up with Nadi readings that gave me much assurance. He asked me to continue taking the prescription for another half a mandalam on 16.1.2011.

வாகடன்கள் தேகத்திற்கு மட்டும் வளத்துடனே அரை மண்டலாம் எடுத்துக் கொள்ள தேகமத்தில் குறை வாரா. 

On 15.2.2012 the physiotherapist asked me to do before her the exercises she had taught me and that I had put into practice the past seven months. As I moved into position to began to raise my right leg behind me and stretch my back, there was something like a latch released, a dam burst, a knot that was untied, as if something gave way, and it brought instant relief and joy to the extent I cried out in joy. The excruciating pain left magically just as it had come on mysteriously.

If the disorders built up to culminate in 2011 where the three dosas becoming erratically displaced resulting in extreme discomfort and bodily aches, excessive vatham lead to mild pain the second time. Uttering the name Muruga at all times, brought in much divine energy that my body could not take the third time. Recently it was the result of the cleansing of the chakras. Looking back I realized now that the chore of cleaning the house and energizing it has been going on for some 14 years now and is still going on. While these went on within without my knowledge and effort Agathiyar doubled the cleansing power by having me consume his Agathiyar Kuzhambu that was a purgative and extending the period of cleansing giving me another simple but very potent formula that I took for some 51 days before I gave up.

I am going through a phase where my hearing is amplified, my taste buds enhanced, my sight improved, and my nostrils identifies the slightest smell or aroma or odor these days. My skin pores have started breathing in the air apart from the nostrils. As I pick flowers in my garden, mild "electricity" passes from the tree into me. The breeze and winds that blow invigorate and energizes. The vision is clear now. What was a - 4.5 diopter correction in my right eye and - 4 in my left in 2008, took a dive and became - 3.75 in both my eyes in 2014. Then it took a further dive again in 2020 becoming - 1.75 and 1.5 respectively. I can hear all the minute sounds and noises. All the motors that run the household appliances and equipment, the humming from the electricity that flows in the wires, the chirping of the birds and insects are all amplified. Some pleasant but others maddening. Hence everything either is joy or is an irritation. There are moments when there is an absence of hunger. At other times one can eat like horse. Above all this, I can feel the pain of others bringing tears to my eyes. The latest makeover is that my hair has started to grow in the place where it went bald. Wondering what was happening I looked through my small library of books. Swami Muktananda sheds some light in his book "Kundalini - The Secret of Life" published by Siddha Yoga Publication, 1994. He writes that,

• "On her journey to the Sahasrara, kundalini passes through all the sense organs, purifying them and investing them with new powers." 
• He adds that when the chakras of the sense organs are purified the physical senses become sharpened and refined. 
• "As kundalini rises to the ocular center, she purifies the eyes." 
• "As the kundalini purifies the sense of touch, one begins to feel thrilled of love through every pore and hair of the body. One becomes immersed in the joy of touch." I have seen brief moments of this joy. 
• "When kundalini reaches the center of smell it purifies that and one comes into direct contact with the essence of smell." Indeed I can smell the essence of things these days. I have yet to smell the subtle smells that the Swami talks about. 
• "When the Shakti moves to the auditory center, she purifies this too." I have yet to hear the celestial harmonies as described by him. 
• "When a shower of nectar is released and begins to fall dropping onto the root of the tongue, the taste buds become extremely refined. Even the simplest food is relished", he says. This is indeed true. 

When Agathiyar had us leave Sariyai and Kriyai and venture into Yogam and Gnanam, he made us cleansed the body and nerves (breath) through Dega Suddhi and Nadi Suddhi, making the body the appropriate vessel for the divine to channel its energy and light. We were reminded by Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal numerous times that both Prana and Arutjhothi need to well up within and burn brightly for the internal combustion to take place. Fanned by the Prana the Arutjhothi engulfs all the impurities just as we light a Yagam or Homam externally to burn our Karma. 

Ramalinga Adigal forewarned the discomfort and pain that one shall have to go through to achieve and bring the desired changes in the body. He himself had to endure 12 long years of pain. As the body begins to stink moments after we die, so shall the body stink during this process of inner cleansing. My body stinks. The urine, stool, saliva, and breath all stink. There is a need to take purgatives to expel the impurities. Impurities will be expelled from the body in several ways: the skin, stool, urine, and phlegm. The three dosas will be expelled if in excess and a perfect balance brought about. Nerves will start to pull; limbs might go numb, and boils would appear due to the intense heat generated known as Tava Kanal. All these are in place currently and it is awful. Hence Patanjali recommends the need to adhere to a strict diet of sattvic food. Kaya Kalpa or herbs that help strengthen the physical body has to be taken. I am blessed to have Siddha Physician Arivan Aiya pass me these herbs in a timely manner.

This is only the beginning says Ramalinga Adigal. There is much more to go through. He assures that he would be right beside us to lead, guide, and monitor till the gates of our heavenly father's kingdom. We are blessed to hear these words of encouragement from one who had to find his own way and has come back to lead us along. Tavayogi too is striving to bring us to our destination he says. We are glad that we could come this far. Whether we achieve the states that Ramalinga Adigal spoke about is immaterial for the journey this far itself has been satisfying and fulfilling. We look upon his grace to shower and bring us to these states if he feels we are worthy of it. 

SIDDHA HEARBEAT

This blog started as an individual's journey in seeking and knowing about the Siddhas. Soon it became an avenue to showcase the workings of the Siddhas. Many experiences of fellow seekers too was shared and carried. 

Astrologer and Siddha practitioner Dr. Krishnan was the very first person to speak to me about the Siddhas and their Nadi after I asked if his predictions could go wrong. This was in 1996. He replied yes and opened up about the Nadi. The Atma in him prompted me to see it by speaking about it. 

But I guess the Atma in me was not ready to reveal itself to me as I had much unfinished business with my karma. I had to honor the deal I had with Lord Brahma and his able accountant Chitragupta, who kept a count on my karma. The "I" in me too I suppose was in charge then. I did not pursue on seeing the Nadi. The Atma watched silently as I lived out my karma.

In 2001, the Atma came through the Vasudeva mantra that was mysteriously passed to me by my nephew from his lineage of gurus. Now the Atma was ready to reveal my past story. 

After getting a clear message through Agathiyar's memo recently, looking back I can say that the Atma brought me to the Nadi from whence this wonderful journey began. 

When the "I" was set to be dropped and the Atma take reign only then was I brought to read the Nadi. I was captivated and intrigued this time around and asked to read the Nadi in 2002 when the subject was brought up by my colleague. Reading the Nadi I understood why people went through sufferings, that I had stood witness to during my bachelor days but could not comprehend then. Seeing my suffering in wanting to know the answers Lord Shiva in 1988 decided to save me from the agony. He came in a dream to ask me to hold back all the questions I had for another day when all shall be revealed. That day was to be the day I read my Nadi. The revelation of the mysteries of life came through the Nadi. My questions were answered. 

I came to know that I too carried past karma. Agathiyar showed me the way to find relief from it. I took up doing the remedies given by him both locally and in India. Once this backlog of karma was cleared and I had paid the debt, it was time the Atma introduced me to my first guru. Supramania Swami told me we had a past bond that had to be revisited. I became his sole disciple upon meeting him the first time after having completed my rounds of doing parikaram on the last lap of my pilgrimage in Tiruvannamalai. We kept in touch through snail mail, STD calls, and later the cell phone.

Meanwhile, the Atma through Agathiyar sent Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal to our shores in 2005 to spread the worship and teachings of the Siddhas. As I was called to come to their worship, I made my way to see him. He verified the name that was on a leaflet the Nadi reader had passed me after my first Nadi reading in 2002. The leaflet carried a message from Thai Veedu Thangarasan M.A. on his intent to build a temple for Agathiyar at Kallar. He verified that it was his. I told him I was called to come to the path. He showed me the local affiliate of his and asked me to frequent it. He initiated me and my wife the same day we met. I frequented the Peedham as told. Just before he flew back to India the Atma arranged for me to see the Nadi again, after some three years, through Tavayogi's recommendation of a Nadi reader here. Agathiyar asked that I get initiated from Tavayogi again. I saw him immediately carrying Agathiyar's message. Agathiyar had asked me to visit his ashram in India. I flew the following month and stayed at his ashram. The night of my arrival at his ashram Agathiyar had appeared to him asking what Tavayogi was giving me. He brought me to the places Agathiyar mentioned in my second Nadi reading and went further in bringing me into the jungles and the caves that were the abodes of the Siddhas.  Just before we parted Tavayogi gave me another initiation. 

As we were parted by the immense Indian ocean, it was akin to distance learning initially through snail mail, then the phone, and followed by emails, and finally, video calls over the period of my discipleship with him. He made more visits to Malaysia in 2007, 2008, 2010, and finally 2016 before his demise the following year.

When the Atma knew that I was ripe to drop the "I" it called for my Nadi reading. I knew then that there was a superpower above us that dictated everything in our lives. I surrendered to the written word of the Siddhas that was carried in the Nadi and conducted myself henceforth according to its dictates. Both Supramania Swami and Tavayogi were identified by the Atma to teach me to drop my "I" further. I surrended to their spoken word and adopted to their ways. After both my gurus went into samadhi, in 2006 and 2017 respectively, Agathiyar came to speak to us through his devotees. From appearing as words in the Nadi, appearing as the guru in physical form, appearing in his Murthi or statue at AVM, he stood before us in these devotees either speaking to us or healing us. Finally, he came as the Prapanjam keeping us company. He said that he was in the Prapanjam and that the Prapanjam was in him. He told us that the Prapanjam shall aid us. The Prapanjam that is all of creation shall come to our aid when we call out to it and reach out to it. Ramalinga Adigal came to connect us with the Prapanjam going beyond form and substance, names and labels. Agathiyar has instilled in us that all was Atma. When the veil that is the "I" is dropped what remains is the Atma that was, is, and shall continue to be. The Atma is the Being within us. 

This Atma is simply a vibration. The intensity of this vibration varies from person to person. Man or Manithan in working towards dropping his "I" moves to become Punithan, and progressively makes his way up to higher states of being. In doing so his Atma's state of vibration intensifies. It is said that the whole village could sense the arrival of Gautama Buddha. Such was the intensity of his Atma. When the Siddhas came down to be present with us during our Homa only Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar sensed this intense vibration akin to the ground shaking under her seat. Agathiyar confirmed this two days later in Tavayogi's Jeeva Nadi reading for a devotee. When a devotee asked Agathiyar what his true form was he told her it was the vibration that they felt in chanting his name, vibration that they felt during puja and while doing charity. Everything around us is in a state of vibration though it is not obvious to our naked eyes and we have yet to sense it. Life itself is a dance.

The sun and the planets sustain us. The many layers of the atmosphere keep us safe. The wind that blows and the air around us keep us chilled and alive. The rains and rivers that bring us water keep us alive too. All these help sustain life on this planet. The Atma that was in our forefathers and ancestors lends a hand to their descendants. The Atma that was our Gurus lends a hand to their disciples in their lineage. Everything in nature is serving others or another. Only man is selfish. He lives for himself. 

After calling us to his path in December of 2002 through a Nadi reading, Agathiyar came in the Nadi some fifty-plus times to guide us on the path besides sending over Tavayogi to our shores to teach us the Siddha path. Bringing us into doing rituals, charity, and yoga, Agathiyar told us to call it a day in September of 2019. AVM winded up. Many could not accept the fate of AVM. But I believe that the two years in conducting puja in their own homes, practicing yoga on their own, and sitting in solitude have made them realize that there was a reason for Agathiyar to do so. They had to engage personally with God without other mediums, without the need for centers, without the need to comply with rules and regulations. Man who was always busy and had used that reason once too often was forced to drop everything he loved doing as a result of the pandemic, and made to spend some quality time with God the past two years. Did we do it? 

I held the thought that I had wasted the time as I saw no visible progress in my spiritual endeavor. But Agathiyar came to say that it was not wasted. I needed Mahin to enlighten me on what Agathiyar had meant. I saw climbing the spiritual ladder as adding on more accomplishments to our present state just as we had planned more charitable programs and flipped through the almanac or panjangam for more reasons to carry out puja. But Mahin made me realize that actual spiritual advancement is not in adding on more prestigious events and taking on more merits but in actuality it is all about dropping them. As we shed everything progressively we become both lightened and enlightened at the same time. I understand now why Agathiyar even stopped the rituals and charity for that would continue to bring on more merits that have to be repaid in another birth. He was asking us to drop all those things that would be the reason for us to take further birth. He had lightened us. He broke our attachment to the group by breaking it, he broke our attachment to the venue by clamping it down, he broke our attachment to our services to others and he broke our attachments to our daily routines. The two years in a way was a reset. He had enlightened us.

A devotee messaged me after reading the last post this morning. 

This is the ultimate truth. To surrender but in reality its most difficult things for some of us to do.....  always try to become the lead ...the"I" in us try to conquer all and fail miserably....

Amazing writing aiya! When u dissolved the group, i was one of them who was very sad. But moving forward i realised it was indeed a time period for me to learn and perform pooja on my own. Im not perfect but my hold on Agathiar appa will never goes off & with you blog aiya, i feel every doubt is cleared and im on the correct path.

Agathiyar brought us to the next phase. He had us go within. The pandemic that came close on the heels of the closure of AVM, held us captive in our homes. But surprisingly after two years, and as the country came out of the lockdown, Agathiyar has asked to see his devotees at AVM again recently. He had asked that we gather to celebrate his annual vizha on Thaipusam day that falls on Monday, January 17, 2022. Is this a sign of good times ahead and an end to the pandemic? Or have we to carry on with his fest accepting this as an endemic and live with it just as we live with Leprosy, TB, Malaria, Dengue, and other contagious diseases? 

Initially, I thought Agathiyar meant meditation in when he asked us to go within. It was a struggle for me. Soon it dawned on me that he wanted us to learn about the things that were closest to us, next to our skin, the Udal, Uyir, and Atma first. I guess with this understanding meditation might come easy.

In continuing his teachings, he switched to coming through devotees bringing a stop to Nadi readings. Furthermore he took to the blog to dispense his teachings further. In fact, these blog posts have become my strength too and booster shots just like taking daily supplements or steroids. I go back to reading it again and again and get more insights and understanding. It is keeping me company too these days.

I decided to share my Nadi readings earlier and these conversations with the Siddhas now because in my days of searching no one was willing to share their experiences. All the Satsangs revolved around speaking of the powers and might of other gurus, sharing what the fellow seekers and devotees had read and heard, their thoughts, opinions, views etc that frequently ends in arguements. No one could tell me what they went through walking the path. There was no one who could share experiences like what Pandit Gopi Krishna had revealed in his books. Neither could they tell me what to expect while walking the path. It was merely a repetition of puja to the Siddhas and talks about their greatness. I believed these talks were good for one who did not know of the existence of the Siddhas or had no prior knowledge about the Siddhas. You only need to propagate belief and faith to those who pass by the temple without entering it. For those already in the temple there is no necessity to promote the path. But when you churn the same thing year in and out, doing the same things repetitively, I saw no development, evolvement, advancement, change, nor progress. So when Tavayogi took the stage and repeated his talks at all the functions he attended, I asked him why he did not have us move on to new frontiers? He asked me "Are you doing what was told?" implying that he can only bring seekers and devotees to the next phase if they had complied and carried out all that was shown, taught, and given earlier. I understood that he was catering for the curious ones and those sitting on the fence then. Those who seek to know further need to be seen individually. The path is then customized based on his life.  

Giving us instructions Agathiyar and the Siddhas constantly came to monitor us watching if we are doing what was told. If we flaw they corrected us. These days Agathiyar after giving us practices, walks through with us on what was taking place in us as a result of these practices. As we are beginning to see the benefits of our efforts, I thought that I should share them too. I believe this sharing shall benefit those seekers like me keen to learn and know and most importantly put it into practice. Reading this sharing, I believe will boost the belief and faith of readers on the Siddhas on their ability to make us a Siddha too. Going through these conversations makes us realize that they have covered what is written in the numerous Siddha texts. They had brought their teachings to us in a simple form that we could understand, not before they had us carry out the remedies for our past karma, atone for our past sins, do charity, carry out rituals, and practice yoga. 

I feel the message has to reach out to those keen like me and follow the directives of Agathiyar but are vague about the path. We are beginning to see the experiences that the Siddhas had spoken about and written about take place in us. I pray that readers too shall gain insights and experiences by the grace of the Siddhas. This sharing might shed some light I believe. I feel it was meant to be shared to enlighten others who might be going through a similar process. No amount of reading the text can substitute experience. Another reason I share them is for fear that these are lost, erased, or go missing again as, by his grace, I had managed to retrieve these revelations that were accidentally erased from my laptop earlier. Finally, it would rather be selfish of me to keep all these divine guidance that I treasure to myself.