A K-STORY

My daughter who visited South Korea as an exchange student while in the University has told me about the "striking cultural and linguistic similarities" between Korea and India. In the following piece, she draws a connection between a plot in a K-drama with some concepts from the Siddha path. It is an interesting read. She writes that little did she expect to find answers to her questions in a fantasy K-drama. It reminds me of the days when I used to have so many questions in my mind. If Lord Shiva had not come to ask me to put off those questions to a later date, I would have turned cuckoo, for the scriptures about God being compassionate and loving did not tally with the reality I saw. I give way to her to express her thoughts.

When Murugar came recently, he told me that he could sense a lot of thoughts in my head, and I should think less as it stressed my physical health. He told me that I would get answers to my questions soon enough and that I should leave it at that.

Fast forward a few weeks, I was rewatching my favorite Korean drama, 'Goblin: The Lonely and Great God', for the 6th time. This time, however, I was surprised to find the answers to my ponderings answered in this very show!

Let me explain the plot of the K-drama as briefly as possible: 

A decorated war general from the ancient Goryeo period named Shin is beloved by the people of the kingdom. The young King, manipulated by his evil advisor, grows jealous of Shin's popularity, and orders Shin and his entire family to be killed. This includes his beloved Queen, who happens to be Shin's sister who sides with her brother instead of her husband. As Shin dies after being impaled by the very sword that the King gifted him with, the Gods grant him a blessing and a curse. He becomes a Goblin who will live for eternity. Because he had taken many lives in battle, he would be cursed to remember the life and death of every person he goes on to meet. And because he had also saved many lives and was loved by the people, he was granted a way to end his immortal life; only his Bride or soulmate could see and remove the invisible sword embedded in his chest, which would finally turn him to dust.

Spoilers ahead so stop here if you wish to see the show. 

After we learn of the Goblin's origin, we flash forward 900 years to meet a new character, a 300-year-old Grim Reaper. He collects the souls of the newly deceased and brings them to a tea shop, where he offers them the Tea of Oblivion. The good are offered the tea that will remove their memories of their current life before being allowed up to Heaven, while the bad and evil are not given the tea, so that they may stew in the memories and guilt of their crimes as they face the punishments of Hell. There are many other grim reapers too, who ponder amongst themselves of crimes they may have committed in their past lives, for only those who have committed the greatest of sins would be sent to serve as grim reapers for several centuries.

By some divine intervention, our lead Goblin and Grim Reaper end up becoming housemates, much to their annoyance. During this time the Goblin finally finds his Bride, a human who survived death and who just so happens to be a missing soul the Reaper was looking for, adding to their tensions as the Reaper complains about how letting her live longer was giving him extra paperwork. In this time too, the Grim Reaper falls in love with a living human named Sunny, causing an internal dilemma as they could never be compatible for each other. While the Goblin and Grim Reaper initially get on each others' nerves and are constantly bickering, over time they end up forming a very close friendship, especially through sharing many adventures and their relationship problems with each other.

As malevolent forces come into play, disturbing facts are revealed about the role of the 4 lead characters in each others' lives. In a shocking revelation, we find out that the Grim Reaper was the very King who had caused the deaths of Shin and his family in his previous life. The woman he falls for, Sunny, is also the reincarnation of his Queen and Shin's sister. The Goblin is enraged to learn that the man he wanted revenge against for almost a millennia was living right under his nose. While Goblin was cursed to remember every detail from his past and present life, his killer had been living guilt-free with no memory of his sins. Reaper is also torn with guilt after learning the extent of his sins and is prepared to accept the Goblin's wrath. But because of their newfound friendship, Shin cannot go through with his yearning for revenge. Sunny is also deeply afflicted as she realizes she has once again fallen in love with the man who had killed her in her past life. As a twisted test from the Gods, they are forced to remember their misfortunes and fate, simmer in guilt and sorrow for their past actions, and learn to forgive each other for the hurt they had caused each other.

I'd always had the question of why we humans had to seek the Nadi or other means to learn about our past lives, and how it seemed unfair that we had to face tests and sufferings or do parigarams to undo Karma committed in a life we could not even remember. A criminal who is arrested would be told the reason for their arrest, and if sent to court would know the crime they were being punished for. But why are we experiencing the effects of Karma for our past life instead of the present one? The show provided me with the answer, as the Grim Reaper learns that all Grim Reapers do not remember their past lives so that they may serve their sentence in peace, without being wracked with immense guilt at all times.

We have learned through many Nadi readings and conversations with the Siddhas that just like in the show, we often end up meeting the same souls that we had in our past lives. Even with the confidence that we are good people in our present lives if we could remember all the bad things we had done to those around us in our past lives, the sinners would be trapped in guilt while the victims would be caught up in anger and revenge. We might also never be able to trust someone who had wronged us in a past life again, even with the knowledge that they were a different person with different thoughts and principles. A new birth not only gives us a fresh start to be decent people but also a chance to repair our relationships with the people around us, without being weighed down by emotions from previous births. We would not be able to fix the hurt caused to each other on a soul level without bias if we retained all those memories, even the good ones.

My father once shared a story of how a man had wanted to learn about his sins even though the Siddhas refused to reveal it, but after insisting and learning that he had abused his children in his past life, he committed suicide in his present one, as he was unable to handle the immense guilt and shame. The relationships between Goblin, the Grim Reaper, and Sunny too were changed drastically after their revelations, and they could never go back to the happier and innocent days before they had learned the truth. The universe demands balance and justice, so we must face certain trials and hardships to repent for our sins. However, retaining our memories would only prolong our emotional suffering, so they must be forgotten for our own peace of mind.

The question of past births and karmic punishments was long on my mind. But when Murugar told me I would find answers to my questions, little did I expect them to come from a fantasy K-drama.

Disappointment = Desire

I did not know the complexity of our thoughts and actions until Agathiyar began to give me the experiences and later came by explaining. Just as we carry our past Karma, Vasanas or unfulfilled desires too hitch a ride and travel along and take various forms at various junctures in the timeline of our lives. Besides these, the desires and wants of others too work on us affecting our lives in many ways. Then Agathiyar throws in another surprise. He says that even a disappointment is seen as a desire and has to see the light of the day. Hence another plan has to be hatched and clinched. As I was disappointed earlier with the outcome of a meeting that took place in mere minutes, Agathiyar says that I had desired to stay on longer and as such he asked that I set another date for another meeting for that desire had to be lived through. So the best bet, besides not having desires, is not to have expectations too for if it is not fulfilled this day it has to be seen through another day or in another birth. 

My daughter who had contributed earlier to this blog has something to add on desires and its far-reaching consequences. 

In the first Thor movie (2011), Odin's constant pride and favoring of Thor, who was getting ready to take the throne of Asgard, led to his second son Loki developing a desire to prove himself. Living in his brother's shadow and not being taken seriously as a capable heir, he hatches a plan to get Thor in trouble and sent to Earth as punishment, puts Odin out of commission, and takes the throne for himself. In the process, he discovers that he was actually adopted and hence was never even considered to be the future King. As Thor makes his way back to Asgard to fight his brother, Loki tells him angrily that he "never wanted the throne", but only wanted to prove that he was Thor's equal. After a confrontation with Odin, who expresses his disappointment in Loki for his crimes and actions, Loki falls into the void in defeat. However, this is not the end, as this desire to prove himself fuels the rest of Loki's journey in future movies, as he repeatedly tries taking over Earth, Asgard, or any place where he can be in control as the most powerful being. He believes he could not gain the love and acceptance of his family, so he seeks fear and respect from his subjects instead.

Eventually, we get to a version of Loki in the Disney+ series (2021 - 2023) who is forced to face the harsh truth; he thinks the only way he can heal his bruised ego after failing to get his father's approval is by having power or a throne. He was born a prince, so that is all he has ever known, but it would fix nothing. As he finally starts forming new friendships, caring for the people around him, and begins to let go of his desire, he faces an enemy who is a threat to the existence of infinite multiverses, known as He-Who-Remains (HWR). After killing him, Loki and his friends learn that the multiverse cannot survive without someone to look after it. It seems the only option is to use the same methods as HWR, which would make them equally evil. In all the chaos, Loki comes to a realization. Who better to tame the multiverse than the once God-of-Chaos? There was no way out, for only he was powerful enough to save his friends and all of existence. Now taking on the new mantel as the God-of-Stories, Loki sacrifices his happiness and leaves his friends behind to become the new caretaker of the multiverse. In an epic scene, he symbolically ascends a flight of stairs to a golden throne, where he sits all alone for eternity. In the end, Loki's desires were fulfilled at a great cost, and he became the ruler of the most powerful throne in existence within the Marvel multiverse.

Her earlier story goes as follows,

[In the comics] Just before evil Loki dies, he makes a deal with the Queen of Death to be reborn with his powers intact so he may continue causing chaos. However when he is reincarnated as Kid Loki without memories of his past life, almost everyone he meets is afraid of him or wants to fight him as they do not trust Kid Loki and believe it is impossible for him to be good. Seeing this, Kid Loki decides that he wants to change that and prove that he can be good. 

Now a young adult, he starts serving the All-Mother in the Agent of Asgard series. He gets sent on missions on her behalf, and with each mission he completes, a page from his past life is removed or rewritten, slowly wiping away all the evil deeds commited in his past life. He tries to change his identity and get people to like him, choosing the form of a handsome man and trying to get on everyone's good side. Eventually, he gets attacked and kidnapped by a future version of himself called King Loki, who travels to the past to tell him that his efforts will go to waste.

Because King Loki had successfully rewritten his entire past, but people still saw him as Loki, the God of Mischief and Chaos, the Liesmith, the Silver-tongued, and would never fully trust him. So he decided that he will stick with the role he was given, and traveled back in time to cut his missions short and turn his younger self evil sooner. But the present Loki refuses. He realizes that even when people try hard to put him in a box labeled 'Evil' and nail it shut, he has control over his story and his life. He forgoes his good looks and people pleasing, rebranding himself as the God of Stories, because there cannot be Order without Chaos. Heroes cannot be remembered for their good if Loki was not around to cause the mischief and troubles.

His role now is to protect the stories of the Asgardian Gods and the people of Earth. Even when he is offered a seat among the Gods after saving them, he walks away saying he is "done picking sides". As the world comes to an end, he traps the stories of the Asgardians and the Avengers in the final battle. He also traps his best friend Verity as she is telling the story of her life, essentially trapping her soul and essence. He explains to her that their existance is entirely dependant on the stories told about them, and how when the universe is reborn, he will release these stories into the new universe. He tells of how people on Earth used to sit around fires during a storm to tell stories of how the thunder and lightning was created by Thor smashing his hammer on the ground of the sky, and the rain was the blood of his enemies falling to earth. These stories not only gave hope and wonder in times of fear, but possibly created the Gods themselves, who would not exist if stories of them were not told. Whether the Gods created people or people created Gods, he does not know. But his job now is to ensure their existance by making sure their stories keep getting told.

This can be equated to our legends too. If Puranas are not there there won't be Gods. How are we going to imagine them if not for these stories? Agathiyar in his "Agathiyar Gnanam" speaks about the trickery of Vyasa too. If "The Gods themselves would not exist if stories of them were not told", can we equate Vyasa to Loki then? Life is like a comic book. We remember people for two reasons: either they have done some good or something bad. As such many work towards leaving their mark behind as they want to be remembered.

I had written earlier that Agathiyar came to churn the sea of experiences gained by traveling the path and showed me to sieve and filter the false from the truth, and Maya from the Real. Thenceforth Amrita or Ambrosia began to flow. He threw me into the turbulent waters and saw how I handled the situation. Finally seeing me struggle he gives me a hand and educates me on the happenings. This is gaining Gnanam he says. Gnanam is not something that drifts to us standing on the river bank. We have to step into the running waters and fish it out. 

It did occur to me that Agathiyar had been doing mischief for some time now. It turns out to be true for it is from the chaos that clarity arises. 

START NOW

The state of affairs around the world brings on fear and uncertainty to mankind on the whole going by the news and visuals we see. We as individuals cannot possibly help out here. We have to turn within and use the time we have on hand to take hold of the Siddhas and their teachings and save our souls. 

We see God and everything related to him outside, in his statues and paintings, building places of worship that satisfy Sariyai, places of rituals that satisfy Kriyai, and meditation centers that satisfy Yogam. So where or how do we turn to and satisfy the hunger to gain Gnanam? Is there such a place where you can walk in and learn or gain Gnanam? Yes not in the external, but taking a walk within, after finishing all these earlier phases. Traveling the path of the energies now that goes ahead of us burning all the obstacles down, the Chakras within are purified to their original state, and the respective deities are reinstated within. The gross body now is indeed a temple. The Chakras are the lamps that shine bright. The body emits an aura that others cannot miss. The mere presence of such a one clears the air around us. For those who have had some practice, they shall recognize such a one. He is a Jeevan Mukta having attained Mukti or Salvation here itself. But before we arrive there one has to attend classes and laboratories and learn, practice, experiment, and experience all that is taught. We have to fast-track the journey and arrive at our destination. Start now and the Siddhas shall accompany us. 

When we have taken so much from Mother Earth, our parents and ancestors, our gurus, and their lineages, and others, how do we give back? Tavayogi in 2005 upon my return from his Ashram, had asked me to carry out a smaller version of the Yagam or lighting the sacrificial fire carried out on the grounds of his Kallar Ashram in my home. Though I did as said, Agathiyar seeing my reluctance to carry out rituals told me that I was not doing it for myself but the Prapanjam. That day he taught me to put others first. This would then become a Selfless service. It was a way of giving back. He then had me commission his bronze statue in 2009 and arrived on 2nd January 2010, in the likes of his granite statue at Agasthiyampalli and asked that I give it "Life" or "Uyir" or breath by chanting his name 100,000 times. I gathered family and friends and though we only managed 45,000 in a daunting two hours, he later came in the Nadi and complimented us saying that he had accepted the Puja. As he was alive in the statue he asked those who came to him to light an oil lamp before him. Again this taught me to put others first. This then became a Selfless service. It was a way of giving back. With the coming of several youths sent over to my home to watch and participate in the Pornami puja, he taught me to open the doors to my home to others. My home became Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM), his home and garden too where he would take a rest. Again he taught me to put others first. It was a way of giving back. We began serving the hungry, the homeless, and the unfortunate besides serving Agathiyar too. Eventually, he said it was time to bring the shutters down on AVM, pack up, and go within. Agathiyar just like Tavayogi expected the AVM family that had congregated in my house to carry out the same in their homes, hence expanding the reach of these teachings to others too. But the move to decentralized was not picked up by anyone as with the closure of AVM came the pandemic. He had us carry out the Homam which was deemed unnecessary until then to help Prapanjam battle the virus. Again this taught me to put others first. This too became a Selfless service. It was a way of giving back. But it seemed the virus had wiped all memory of the good times we had in coming together in worship to the Siddhas and in doing charity that the agenda and tasks that were awaiting them were soon forgotten and everybody went their way. Recently Agathiyar came to remind us of the need to revive AVM and Mahindren took it up in his home. We shall gather this Sunday to carry out Pranayama practices. He is teaching Mahindren to put others first. This shall become a Selfless service. It was a way of giving back.

Ramalinga Adigal

Ramalinga Adigal in attaining the state of light as did the Siddhas before him, transformed his gross body into light particles and came back to reveal the mystery in his songs the ThiruArutpa. The final closure to his life chapter was shown in meditation to Mother Mira Alfassa who related it to Gangadharan. The article "A Vision of Dematerialization of Ramalinga's Living Body" was carried in the now-defunct website http://www.ramalinga.com. I am glad I took notes from this website of this priceless moment in history. Even before he attained the state on the eve of Thaipusam on 30.1.1874, his guru knew Ramalingam's state as Gnana Bharathi writes in his “Tamil Mannin Thanthai”. 

The story goes as follows.

Drawn by the divine and having worshiped him since young, at 12 years of age Ramalingam followed a guru and traveled the hills and the plains to the abodes of the Siddhas. Coming to know that there was indeed a way to remain immortal he sat in tapas for 12 years under the tutelage of his guru. At the end of the 12-year tapas, his body glittered like gold and his guru himself could not bring himself to see Ramalingam as he shone with a blinding brightness. Could this be the reason Ramalinga Adigal covered himself or rather draped himself in cloth from head to toe in later years? This reminds me of Supramania Swami who initially while building his kudil left a window and opening so that he could watch the Arunachala hill sitting in the living area, soon was forced to close the opening as he said that he could not bring himself to look at the fiery hill where Siddhas and Rishis went on with their chores. 

Gnana Bharathi writes that Ramalingam had attained a body that could not be affected by the five elements and could not be brought down by any other factors. His body was to know no hunger and thirst too, said his guru. His guru blessed him to teach the path to others so that they too could defeat death. Ramalingam was 24 by then. 

Ramalingam came back into the society. What he saw disturbed him a lot. He felt the sufferings of the innocent people who were being manipulated by certain quarters in all ways possible. Coming back into the society of the day, he fought the problems that had cropped up and infiltrated society during his absence and years of seclusion. Besides discrimination based on caste and the multitude of religions that had arisen, he saw other faiths moving in and encroaching on the locals who were in a dire state of disarray. He began a journey of propagating his newfound path, the worship of light. Ramalingam began to teach people to worship the Jothi. If before these we were shown God as having many forms, he brought us to the worship of light. From form to no form. For one who had abstained from naming his guru, he abstained from giving God a form too. It is said that numerous attempts were made to take his photo but surprisingly his image could never be caught on film. Could the reason his photo could not be taken - be to ensure that no one would deviate and be sidetracked in worshiping him instead of the formless God he was talking about? 

Beginning from Chennai his journey brought him to Thiruvotriyur and Tirutani. Moving to Pondicherry and then later to Chidambaram, Sirgazhi, and Vaitheeswaram, he moved south to Madurai, Thiruvathavur, Thiruperunturai, and Karunkuzhi. He briefly goes back to Madurai, before settling at Karunkuzhi from where he used to frequent Chidambaram. The locals at Vadalur donated a piece of land some 80 acres in size. He started the Dharma Salai to feed the hungry; the Sanmarga Sangam to bring together his followers and the Sanmarga Bhotini Padasalai to educate them in divine knowledge or Gnanam. Staying at Karunguzhi he began to supervise and direct the construction of all these buildings. 

We now fast forward to the days after his arrival at Methukuppam and before his disappearance as narrated by a local whose grandfather was a witness to it as he was a neighbor. Ramalinga Adigal after his sojourn taking up a hut that was used once a year by visiting Brahmin priests to the village of Methukuppam to carry out religious observances, initially telling those around that he would enter the room and come out after 7 days, later he told them that he would enter the room and stay there for 48 days. The impatient onlookers lost their patience and attempted to use the key to the lock but it would not open. Ramalinga Adigal appeared after the said days. Finally, he mentioned he would be inside some 2 1/2 kadigai which no one knew the meaning of. When he did not come out various attempts were made to enter the room. As the key could not unlock the lock again, a blacksmith was called to break the lock. He went blind before he could even attempt. An attempt to saw the lock became futile too. Finally thinking that they could break through the thatched roof, a vicious cobra stood guard on the roof. All attempt was given up and instead, three layers of "coverings' or enclosures were built to surround the original hut. Going by his testimony no one has been or seen inside the room after Ramalinga Adigal entered it. For all we know he could be in Samadhi within the four walls for the last 150 years. 

The rest is told by Mother Mira Alfassa.

He was verily a supreme form of the divine. A flood of light radiated from his pure and luminous body in all directions. The intensity of the flood of light that radiated from his whole body was very powerful and one shall have the strength and capacity to bear and receive it. My (Mother Mira Alfassa) whole body vibrated with joy and pleasantness because of the vision of the light of his body.

After some time of concentration, he rose up and saw the physical sky. The full moon was shedding its blissful cool rays over the earth. A little distance away from the moon was seen a very bright dazzling star of light. Vallalar poured his concentrated gaze at it for some time. He became enraptured with blissful joy in his heart, which radiated on his face. A little time thereafter, he again sat on the white seat of the plank and entered into deep concentration.

Though Vallalar was inside the closed and bolted room, he could see clearly the whole universe with its tiers of many worlds of mind, life, and the physical including the physical earth and sky with its moon, stars, and clouds.

When he was thus absorbed in deep concentration, an effulgent truth-light of grace broke out from his heart and with its unique heat began to burn his radiant physical body very slowly, as at a snail's speed, and that in an upward direction, from the heart towards the head. The burning of the body may be somewhat likened to that of an incense stick which however burns downwards by its inner heat of fire, forming ash covering but without the falling down of the ash-form. 

When the upper part of his radiant body was burnt completely from heart to head, there was left in its place a form of pure white substance, which also radiated its light of consciousness. The burnt part, however, showed all its features intact and clearly, and even the burnt hair of his head was seen distinctly as luminous white hair. 

Then the heat of the pure light of grace descended to burn the lower part.

After the whole body was thus burnt, Vallalar was seen as a bodily form of pure white substance from head to foot, radiating its light. The white form kept intact all the different kinds of cells of his body and all the distinctive features and formations of his interior and exterior body. His bodily form did not shrink in size after the burning. I saw no visible flame nor sensed its heat during the burning of his living body, nor smoke, nor any bad smell as of burnt tissues, nor heard any cracking noise as of burnt bones. Instead, there was a sweet fragrance since the time his body began to burn and it spread everywhere. I sensed in my heart an ineffable calmness and silence, which gave me in turn a state of bliss.

Now a second stage of burning began. The unique heat of grace light began to burn slowly Valalalar's luminous form of white substance from head to foot downwards. When his white substance full of its radiating light, was thus burnt completely, the white substance became very fine sub-atomic conscious particles, which permeated and pervaded the entire universe and the farther pure worlds of consciousness beyond. The fine, white, and conscious particles with their radiating light also entered into and got distributed everywhere on the earth and even in matter. After the universal pervasive distribution of the particles, they could be seen no more and disappeared from my sight. Now there pervaded everywhere the sweet, soft, and fine fragrance of camphor which gave my body a blissful sensation and enraptured my heart as well.

Then I had the rare vision of Vallalar's universal luminous golden form. In fact, the immensity of his golden form is contained in the whole universe. This form too disappeared from my view and was replaced by another vision in which I saw the golden light of truth-knowledge and grace entering into all the directions more speedily than the lightning. It permeated and pervaded the whole universe and the farther pure worlds of consciousness. It entered into our earth and all its crores of the physical forms of beings and objects and in the apparently insensible matter and even in the very dark realm of the vast in conscience. All the forms that were permeated by the golden light of truth changed into golden forms of beings and objects. The golden light entered my whole Adhara including the physical body. My body felt in all the cells vibrations of ease and pleasantness. Then I heard some words of grace. However, they were indistinctly heard and could not be deciphered, as I was absorbed in a rapture of bliss due to the sublime vision and experiences. Thus, the vision lasted an hour and ended.

Gnana Bharathi ends his book by mentioning that Ramalinga Adigal before he entered the room at Sittivalagam Thirumaligai in 1874 and merged with God told those who had gathered that although he would be out of sight, he would be around another 42,000 years as a Gnana Siddhar and after that take on the form of a Pranava Degi or the Pranava Degam. He went into a "Peranandha Nittirai" or the "Sleep of Joy". 

CHURNING THE SEA

For many, coming to the Siddhas stops with reading the Nadi. They keep coming back to read the Nadi throughout their lives. Call them to the path, call them to the worship, call them to carry out rituals, call them to practice Yoga, and there is no turnout. It is truly saddening to see them "use" the Siddhas for their immediate needs and never want to become a Siddha themselves. Those few who come, come to learn the secrets of turning metal and plants into gold, sand into diamonds, clay into Navabasana, and solidify mercury. Tavayogi shared with me that many would sit for hours hoping that he would share these secrets with them. Man has fallen into the pit of no return. He is engrossed in the material world and keeps seeking solutions and shortcuts to gain more material wealth giving reasons to fan his greed and desires. None came to know the secrets of changing and transforming this body into that of light, reaching the states of the Siddhas. The Siddhas are here amongst us in subtle forms to guide us on this secret but there is no taker. 

I took up the call to come to the path after my Nadi reading. They then brought me to their worship. They dissolved all my Karma. They sent me to my first guru Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai and sent another Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram to me later to continue the teaching. If the former showed me Bakti or devotion the latter showed me Yoga. Agathiyar came finally to churn the sea of experiences gained by traveling the path and showed me to sieve and filter the false from the truth, and Maya from the Real. Thenceforth Amrita or Ambrosia began to flow.

He throws me into the turbulent waters and sees how I handle the situations. Finally seeing me struggle he gives me a hand and educates me on the happenings. This is gaining Gnanam he says. Gnanam is not something that drifts to us standing on the river bank. We have to step into the running waters and fish it out. 

SETTLING MY DUES

Would a developer, lawyer, and a representative from a bank come over to the home of a new home purchaser to sign the Sales and Purchase Agreement (S & P) and Loan Agreement? Well, it did happen. My daughter was looking for a place to buy that was close to her office and in the vicinity of public transport services as she doesn't drive. She finally found one close to our home. Originally she was supposed to sign the S & P at the developer's site office but as the slots were taken up the developer arranged for the signing to take place at my home. We knew that instant that Agathiyar wanted it to take place before him and Lobama at AVM. 

My home too, which took on the name Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) later, fell in my lap. I did not have any idea of purchasing a house back then in 1991. But an office college Roslan Md Isa told me that there was much housing development taking place in Cheras and invited me along to view the houses. On the day of the appointment, he did not turn up. Apparently, I came to know later that his wife was impressed upon seeing a house in another scheme and they decided to book it. As me and my wife and daughter were already on site we viewed the plans and the area and my wife nudged me to take up the offer. The house was delivered to us in 1994 and we moved in. 

Even the scholarship and my job too fell onto my lap. I was told that we could apply for a scholarship when I entered college in 1977. I attended the interview empty-handed. When the interviewer asked for my papers and certs I told him that I had left them behind in my hometown. He then sarcastically told me to return home and stay there. But behind that stern face was a kind heart. I got the scholarship. 

After completing college as I was a scholarship holder I was tied to a contract. When all my friends were offered a job I was puzzled as to why I did not receive the appointment letter. The postman was the most important person in my life at that period in time. I would look out for him each day hoping that he would bring me some good news. Time went by but there was no mail. I came over to Kuala Lumpur and met an officer who was equally surprised as she told me my name was on their list of postings. She did not waste any time further and offered me a post in another Ministry. I took it. I spent some 36 years in service before I retired in January of 2016. 

Even my soulmate and children were picked by the divine, I came to know later. When my sister and brother-in-law went around looking for a bride for me, I was rejected some 15 times. Finally, she happened to be a close family friend that we had forgotten. We were married. Many years later when we read the Nadi for my second daughter, Agathiyar spelled out the reason for all of us to come together again after our last birth in Papanasam, India. She had requested that we be her parents again in this birth too. 

So did the Gods save my life as an infant. Since my mother had lost two children due to diarrhea, she rushed me to a neighbor's home where the Chinese man was known to heal people. He asked if my parents were willing to give me to the Gods. They agreed. I was saved. Only later as I grew up and frequented his home for all my ailments did I come to see how he connected with divinity and healed us. He was a man of a large frame and was always shirtless. He would take a sword and hit his back with the blunt edge. As he was fair red stripes of bloodshot marks would appear on his back. He would keep chanting in Chinese and write Chinese characters on a yellow strip of rice paper with a brush dipped in red ink. He would then burn that and collect the ashes in a glass of water and have me drink it. I would be healed. It was only after a dog bit me when I was 13, fearing rabies, I went to the hospital for the very first time. 

Now after all these years, even if we have all the medical facilities available, Lord Murugan coming in the Nadi and through a devotee in 2018 simultaneously had all those gathered recite the Arutperunjothi mantra in a glass of water and have me drink that to bring relief to my excruciating lower back pain that paralyzed me back then while fanning me with peacock feathers. How do we explain all these?

I had many kind and compassionate souls help me and save me from numerous situations along the way. So when life was so generous and kind to me I was taken aback when someone asked me what was my problem when I used to frequent the Peedham or center that Tavayogi had officiated in Malaysia back then in 2005. Apparently, all those who came had problems. I soon got to see for myself as I spent time sitting with Tavayogi whenever he came over.   

So how do I repay the divine for its blessings? I guess by doing his work, I shall settle my dues. If the divine has kept me and others well, it brings tears and sadness looking out of the window to the other countries devastated and destroyed by men in power. What can we do but just watch. Sadness arises when we see the nature of gurus these days too. When an interviewer addresses a guru by his name he hits back asking him why he cannot address him as everyone else does. What is in a name? When I am standing in line at a Government department I am going to be called up by my name registered on my birth certificate and identity card and not by the name conferred by the gurus or even by Agathiyar. When faced with danger the cry that emits from me shall be Muruga or Agatheesa or Siva or Amma. I won't be calling them with their honorary titles would I? By the time I finish I would be hit and dead. Another guru waits for someone to perform the ritual of washing his legs before he walks into the temple amid a puja for the Siddhas and deities. The puja is disrupted momentarily by his arrival and expectation. Another visiting guru who expected the same, walked into our family home with his sandals when my brother who invited him to our home did not do the same back then when I was a teen. Another guru comes down hard through his threatening voice and body language on a visually impaired elderly. This only shows their arrogance and that they are very much caught in names and forms, and hiding behind the cover of tradition yearning for respect and attention. All these inflate their Ego and show that they are not letting go but instead building an empire. Then we are shown the true nature of the gurus who are exposed, sending them behind bars or into hiding. I am beginning to wonder what am I doing here amidst all these gurus and their faithful followers. They have tainted religion and spiritualism. They must understand that they are being watched by their followers and the public. Their speech and actions are closely monitored by the living and the subtle beings.

Then on the other hand, we have heavenly and saintly gurus like Bhagawan Ramana and Yogi Ramsuratkumar who hold back and console their followers from reacting to the situation when both masters are bashed up, the former in his ashram and the latter in the streets by trouble makers, telling the followers to let it be for they have come to do their work and let us do ours. Tavayogi forbids us to wash his feet or touch it. 

Where have the good men gone? Where and to whom do we turn now in our moments of distress and pain? I guess this is what Agathiyar says the day will come when we shall see all this. The day has arrived. It is we who create monsters out of them when we begin to worship them. Tavayogi on the onset knowing that I too shall do the same horror, directed me straight to Agathiyar asking me to hold to him. Agathiyar in coming as the bronze statue to my home in 2010 asked that I give this piece of metal that carried his image as that in Agasthiyampalli, "life" or "Uyir" or breath. He asked to chant his name some 100,000 times. Today with all the years of worship he stands alive and energized opening his eyes to watch and bless us in 2013 just as he did at Agasthiyampalli in 2005. Supramania Swami told me that the disciple's prayer shall elevate the guru to greater heights just as a genuine guru elevates his student to the state of a guru too. It is we who keep both the deities and gurus alive with our continuous patronage and worship. Just as the world is shut off when we close our eyes and ears, stop patronizing and they never exist too. What then exists is solely the 'being" in us that is in a state of being, in peace with itself and in existence forever. 

FURTHER UNDERSTANDING

Let us place ourselves in the shoes of a Siddha right here and now. A Siddha is immersed in joy and bliss having attained a state of PerAnandham that is spoken of but cannot be envisioned by us as for now we have yet to reach this state. His only wish would be to share it with us. But are there takers and listeners for if he were to touch and show us this state it would only be momentary. One has to follow the path, the way, the methods, and the practices to arrive there. Already as it is he is sharing his bliss to all who reach out to it. The Siddhas who are in the Prapanjam and vice versa do touch, caress, embrace and envelop us every moment but we are unaware of their touch. What man sees in them is their ability to enact the 8 Siddhis that the Siddhas are said to be able to display. But of what use is it to show it off? Of what use is it to pass this knowledge to the common man? But in coming to a living Siddha they only eye these and want to be blessed with these gifts to be used for ulterior motives. Others wait on these Siddhas to learn the tricks and means to doing these Siddhis. They are not keen to become a Siddha themselves for a Siddha lives by his word and honesty or Satyam. No one approaches a Siddha asking him to make him another Siddha. 

Then there are others who come for solutions to their personal problems. Many come for relief and cure for their illnesses. Many equally come seeking justice and a share of the wealth and property left behind, and become instant millionaires. Many come for job promotions in their careers. Yes, men and women from all walks of life stand before the Siddhas and their Nadi seeking all these perishable things. Should the Siddha who has left all these behind and sits in quietitude and bliss be concerned?

Many whine about the services provided for instance in hospitals, the delays in having to wait long hours, etc. If only they took care of their health well they would not be there, right? It is wrong to then blame others for keeping us waiting, right? This is only one example. There are many more. I have heard public outcry and individuals complain almost about everything. If we do not want to be in a situation we should take the right measures right now. We stand before the Siddhas and the Nadi having taken debts and not been able to settle them; not caring for our health and having succumbed to illnesses; giving in to greed, making heavy losses after investing in scams without checking their authenticity; knowingly racing down the road in a vehicle and getting caught for a speeding offense; not wearing the safety belt and thrown out of the vehicle and breaking bones as the car turns turtle; knowing it is wrong to break the law but yet doing it and many more instances where we land ourselves in trouble and seek solutions from the Siddhas and expecting the Siddhas and others to help us promptly and on time. It just isn't fair to the Siddhas and the other party. If you don't want trouble then stay out of trouble.

The Siddha creates a situation and has us form an opinion. This is how we learn from experiences. It is not as with reading a textbook. No teacher walks in each morning to take the class. The world is our teacher. I have seen a fair share of grievances like the above brought up before the Siddha in the Nadi looking towards a solution and an escape route. But do these people sincerely atone for their mistakes and blunders and promise not to do it again? It is pointless to help them out of this situation to see them do it again. No one is asking them to be a saint, but at least they should not repeat these mistakes or wrongdoings. Agathiyar has saved me from numerous occasions that would have turned the table on me if not for him. He saved me on all these occasions and still does. But how long can he sustain my life and all my wrongdoings if I keep on doing them? He might lose his patience and let go of the rope. I shall then drown forever in my doings. 

But the Siddhas being the most compassionate do not turn them away. At times it might seem like they give false hope but at the least that keeps them alive, for otherwise if the truth is made known or they are told there is no cure and that they have to live with it, those weak in spirit might end their lives before their time is up and the souls shall roam about. 

For one who the Siddha comes to his aid, the least he could do is to change over a new leaf or drop the earlier lifestyle. He need not join the path but at least change for the better by taking care of himself, being careful in all his actions, atoning for his mistakes, and maybe taking up the tasks of caring for others till his last days. There must be a strong reason to save one from an impending death. If I was Agathiyan, I would ask "Now tell me why should I save you?" They would answer I have a family to take care of, I have elderly parents to look after, I need to marry off my child, I need to look after my spouse, I am the breadwinner in the family, and many more reasons to live, just as those before the dock plead for leniency saying that they have aged parents or a wife and children to care for. Does all these justify an extension or a bail for that matter? One who has survived death should either seek to know answers to life and its mysteries and why he was there, or give himself in service to others, or lead others to a better and purposeful life, rather than going back to doing what he did before. This would justify his extension.  

Do not claim that you have a right to things and a right to live. Everyone has a right to his space too. We are all here for a divine purpose that we are unaware of. Though our lives are not in our hands, we can do much with our lives. The limbs are given not to feed oneself and go places. It is given to feed one another and help another. These are part of the 5 tenets for mankind that Agathiyar presented before the assembly of the wise during the Tamil Sangam of the past. This is life. We are here to learn and improve ourselves and maybe lift another up while here.  

SIDDHAHOOD

In coming under the shadows of a guru, a seeker who is taken in and is taught, shown the path, and begins to walk is groomed to become another guru who shall do the same in bringing others to walk the path. That is the sole role of a guru. That is what the guru does. However, the seeker who eagerly takes the call becomes disillusioned by seeing the guru and his apparently inconsistent handling of situations and people. Doubts and confusion arise. Rather than approach his guru and gain clarification he moves out seeking another.  

The seeker needs to understand that the path though traveled by many is and can be customized to the individual's upbringing, state of affairs, and mind. It is not all a square peg fitting into a square hole. Bhagawan Ramana and Osho are known to say different things to different people who come with the same wishes, desires, problems, or worries. There was no one rule or solution to address everyone's concerns. 

What we tend to do is blindly follow the guru without understanding. There is a story told of a guru who fearing for its safety, had his disciples tie a cat to a pole as it was intruding into the fire ritual. When the guru had passed on the disciples continued to catch a cat and tie it to a pole whenever they performed the ceremony. No one knew the reasons. Neither did they ask the guru. Both Agathiyar and Tavayogi have told us to ask and clarify rather than follow blindly. They do not want to make us into another replica or clone that vomits the same words. They want us to experience those words. The Siddha is free of all attachments and holds. He experiments with the methods and the ways. He is encouraged to discover and share new ideas and practices. He is not expected to fit into the mold. He can travel far and wide. That is what we at AVM did. Agathiyar and Tavayogi had us break all the rules and come up with an alternative that was customized for our needs and times. They gave us leeway and space in all our undertakings. There were no rules to bind us. There was no right and wrong. We learned from experience what to upkeep and what to drop. At times they came to have us drop them giving us the reasons to do so. It was as if we attended a Siddha college in the past 22 years. We are still learning the traits of Siddhahood. 

THANK YOU

I have never gone hungry thanks to divine grace, although my parents had seen some tough times and went hungry during the war. Though my father gave away his property and wealth when an array of machine gun bullets missed him when the Japanese opened fire from a plane when war broke out, we never went hungry while we grew up. As we grew up there would be two meals a day and what remained of lunch would be rolled into balls and given to us for dinner. We soon came out of this when my siblings each took a job. When I was doing an internship with the Public Works Department during college, I had a two-week stand on an island where a school was coming up. Apart from the homes of some 300 villagers, there was only a small sundry shop that catered for emergencies. Everything else had to be purchased from the mainland. But the divine arranged food for me. The local Malay headman would share his simple food, fried fish with white rice and a flask of black coffee to wash it down. This is where I learned to take coffee after having rice. Starting my working career in the fishing village of Lumut, we were provided housing amidst the project that was built. A colleague and his wife fed me before another bachelor colleague who knew how to cook fed me and others. Apart from them, a retired Petty Officer with the Navy who was running the canteen and his three wives fed us well. Moving out of the quarters later, a Christian family some doors away fed me. Then my parents came to stay with me. Moving to Kuala Lumpur a Muslim mother who ran a food stall opposite my office block fed me. I married and had my new wife cook for us while at home. Returning from a project in Subang back to the HQ, the stall was there but the Muslim mother had passed on. My Muslim officemates took really good care of me too both in the office and when we were on the move. By this time I was a vegetarian. Initially, they would question me on my choice of diet and finding nothing that complied, would tell me to eat what I could take. Soon they began to prepare or cater to my needs too. When we are out they would inform the hotels to prepare vegetarian meals. Whenever my wife is out, our neighbor, who observes the forty days of fasting before Easter, taking vegetarian meals, shares them with me too. Life could never be better. I am thankful to the divine forces who brought together all these caring souls and looked over our shoulders.

FURTHER LEARNING

There is so much trash out there. In the neighborhood, parks, roads, lakes, ponds, etc. There is so much trash fished out from the rivers and sea too. So too is there so much trash on the net and social media. From the external as in his home and surroundings one has to move within and clear and clean his "home" too. We too came with a baggage of trash to be disposed of here in this birth. While working on these, we began to accumulate further trash, hence prolonging the cleaning and clearing out process and eventually extending the number of births needed to do so. There is so much trash in us and in our bodies that turns it toxic. There is so much trash in our thoughts too that turns us into evil beings and Asuras. 

Before Agathiyar's calling came in the Nadi in 2002, he had me clear the obstacles in me a year earlier giving me the Vasudeva mantra in a mysterious way, so that I could have the readings and meet my guru in the physical form. Agathiyar in the Nadi reading speaking about Karma and its extent on us and our lives, our actions and doings helped me clear it to a certain extent by giving me remedies and sending me on a pilgrimage. In 2022, Agathiyar told me that with the coming of the Tavayogi in 2005 and after practicing the Yoga Asana and Pranayama taught by him in 2007, the energies in the Muladhara that were activated had subsequently ponded in the Manipuraka. I guess the excessive trash in me had obstructed its free flow further upwards. All that is made from the Tatvas and the five elements are contaminated in a sense. Just as the plants and herbs are purified, these have to be purified too for the energies to travel along their designated paths without any hindrance. It had to be expel by all means. The practices though helped clear the breath and breathing, but the Chakras or energy centers had to be purified. Otherwise, obstacles on the path create energy blockages resulting in pain and discomfort that have to be endured until the guru comes to touch us, break the bund, and bring relief. I survived the ordeal for I have been a vegetarian for some 26 years now. Jnana Jothiamma did not as she only stopped consuming meat for some six years, after coming to Kallar ashram in 2011. With the touch of the guru, the Kundalini slowly but surely did the job, as Agathiyar said she would do her work, subtly working through us.

When I went to India for the very first time and came back to write about my maiden pilgrimage a reader from Chennai who was residing in Malaysia and who followed my website and blog whom I chanced to meet later shared her joy in reading it. She mentioned that I was the first person to paint a "clean" picture of India while many highlighted the filth in the streets that caught their eyes. I told her that my "mission' was to get to the bottom of my long list of Karma that was listed in my Nadi by Agathiyar. Nothing else was important then. So I saw no filth. It is always a matter of what you want to see. Many see the Nadi readers and begin to investigate them rather than see the message. Many follow the gurus and his shortcomings rather than follow his teachings. I told her to let me show them filth right here too. I could take them to the back lanes and streets of the major roads in the cities. It exists everywhere.

Like filth Maya is everywhere too. It reigns and flourishes in ashrams and temples, camouflaged in the robes and external symbols that gurus wear too, just as it reigns in our day-to-day lives. It is in the Nadi readings, in the Arul Vaaku, or in the conversations with deities too. Agathiyar tells us to carefully sieve through it all before believing. 

When Lord Murugan came to ask me to build him a temple in a Nadi reading in 2018, he told me that I would do it differently. I was puzzled. How could I show him differently? Already as it is he is portrayed in either one of the six forms he had taken in the six abodes of his. How differently could I show him? Later I thought maybe he was mentioning the Jothi which is the ultimate formless form of Gods and Siddhas. Then it should take the form of Ramalinga Adigal's Satya Gnana Sabai where God is worshiped as the flame and the light emitted. Only later did it dawn on me that as Agathiyar, the Siddhas, and the deities had educated me on many aspects of worship, streamlining them, having us drop many rituals and compress and condensed them to mere minutes, this itself was "doing it differently". When I proposed to two heads of missions in India, neither wanted to shorten the rituals and the itinerary of events for fear that they would earn the curse of the guru and the public for breaking the rules and tradition. But we at AVM did them with the approval of the Siddhas. We were indeed different. This itself was "doing it differently". Later Agathiyar told us that they had tested me and that the temple they meant was my home. AVM was a temple in their eyes. When the head of a Brindvanam for saint Raghavendra who had envisioned, built, and conducted pujas personally, was griefed as to what would happen to the mission and its assets and who would care for it and continue the puja, the saint came and pacified him pointing to his chest, saying that his true abode was in the "heart" and what he had built externally was for the public. Tavayogi in autographing my copy of his book "Andamum Pindamum" signed off writing "God lives in your heart, from where the journey starts and ends too." 

While we carry so much trash in us just imagine us transferring all these to our children and grandchildren by way of our thoughts, proximity, speech, touch, actions, and by example. Should not we repent and change our behaviors so that our children shall have perfect role models to emulate and follow? It might seem like I am focused on the negative aspects of life but it is only by knowing one that you know the other. I began to realize that just as it is only with the existence of darkness that we shall come to know the light, it is only with the existence of darkness that we shall come to appreciate the sun, it is only in showing us the bad apples that he can possibly have us wake up and become aware and not to fall prey too. Just as there are bad apples in society, Agathiyar began to show me the bad apples and the worms that ate into establishments, groups, societies, and missions, and left them in shambles. It was a learning curve. The learning is taking place even now and every moment. Agathiyar sets the stage for his drama to unfold and have us learn a lesson and gain experiences that shall grow into Gnanam. At times though we stay clear of any unwarranted situation he pushes us into it so that we shall have these unpleasant experiences too. We have to battle and swim out of these rapids and treacherous waters unscathed, clean, and stay pure to the core. Rather than give us written texts, he has us live the teachings. It is all in these teachings that come with living a life that he chooses for us. One has to surrender to his will and his will shall be done. 

LESSONS IN LIFE

Coming to us last night through a telephone conversation that he interrupted, Agathiyar enlightened us further about the secrets of life. How are desires made? Even the simplest form of expectation and subsequent disappointment calls for the fulfillment of the event, says Agathiyar. For instance, say we go over to a place with full expectations of how things should be but are disappointed by the outcome, this calls for another event to satisfy the former expectation that now has turned into a subtle form of desire. So the best way to get rid of these subtle forms of desires is not to determine the course of the event but to go with the flow without expectations. When we have expectations we tend to get angry and frustrated too when the events do not go as planned or expected. The best way to handle the moment would be to be a white piece of paper having no writings on it, no preconceived notions, ideas, plans, or expectations so that we would not be disappointed and create these subtle desires that warrant us to go through another session. Sometimes we need to learn life lessons the hard way, getting knocked hard on the head so that it registers and stays in us. This is the experience that brings on Gnanam. 

For most of us, we have to go through what is fated and destined. As Karma or the law of cause and effect and action and reaction is the factor that determines one's fate where we head or what we shall have to go through in this life, that sets our destiny, Agathiyar reminds us not to comment on others Karma, fate and destiny. It shall all take place as fated and destined he said. If the Siddha comes to their aid and gives them remedies and ways to get out of their predicament or gives them methods and practices to evolve further or blessings and means to their wishes coming through, it is a sign that he or she could work on his or Karma to dissolve it or at least dilute it to a certain extent, provided he or she has faith and belief in their words and move to do it. Having done so, one has to stand clear and watch the subsequent events unfold without having high expectations, pursuing it, giving reviews and comments, and trying to understand why it wasn't happening or was delayed. Now I understand why many have desires and wants not fulfilled to this day. 

Earlier when he had us carry out charity, he told us not to take pity nor sympathize with their dilemma but to do whatever possible to rid their hunger or problem or suffering for that moment and move on. He asked that we not get caught in the web that they had spun for themselves. Now I understand why Tavayogi too stayed clear of taking on others' Karma. 

NOTES TO PONDER

Agathiyar had stopped Tavayogi just as he was about to jump onto the railway tracks as a lad after being blind for a year. A voice stopped him from taking his life telling him that Agathiyar was there for him. Soon he regained his eyesight and returned to his garment business in Tiruppur promising to leave everything behind voluntarily when he was 50 years of age. He did as promised and traveled the length and breadth of India, when while in Sathuragiri Agathiyar told him to look for a place known as Agathiyar Vanam and set up his kudil and the Agathiyar Gnana Peedham. He soon found it to be close to the Turi Bridge in Kallar. Then in 2004, Agathiyar told him to go to Malaysia and preach the Siddha path. If there were many who brought the Siddha path to our shores in the past and established a following here, it was Tavayogi who captivated our attention for his humbleness and honesty. He was both humble and honest to the core. He never put anyone down and claimed his superiority. He would admit that he did not know certain things too. I met him in 2005 when he came to officiate a local affiliate of his ashram. Since then he has come regularly, his last in 2016 for my daughter's wedding. He was extremely happy to see the growth of Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM), a small and loose group of seekers and devotees who gathered at my home. What held us together was the rituals during Pornami or full moon nights and the many charitable acts we carried out. But Agathiyar wanted to test our hold on the gross and its extent and wanted to break it. He had me wrap up this group in 2019 in the wake of the pandemic. We were distanced for that period. All went silent. Everyone went their way. But this was merely an intermission as in the movies. But no one knew it. As for me, he had me go within giving me specific instructions and practice. In 2023, he revived the puja traveling to the homes of those who eagerly wanted him and his bronze statue to come over. Early this year he returned home to AVM. It was all part of his divine play or game or Lila. In playing his game he showed me the heart and the soul of many who claim to be on his path. 

When all the texts, books, speeches, and talks, speak of the Siddhas as having gained the Siddhis and detail their powers, Agathiyar showed us that the Siddha path was all about living a life fully each moment with the family and in society, upholding the noble virtues. The Siddha path is one of honesty or Satyam. Everything the Siddha has us do leads to it. We shall be forced to drop the false. The fire of honesty will burn us down whether we like it or not. The soul that is released from the dungeon where our Ego threw it, comes as the guru and the judge. One cannot escape from its sight henceforth. Once the soul awakens there is no looking back. Our life changes. It brings change. All vices and weaknesses that were difficult to drop earlier now are burned in the inner sacrificial fire. The soul refurbishes the home that was burnt down and rebuilds it. The soul that designed and built this home and went into hibernation forcefully held under the Ego's custody with the grace of the guru, once released, revamps the organization of thoughts and things. What we once did thinking nobody noticed is no more possible for the soul now knows our every thought and apprehends it even before we begin to act. Though we might tend to fall back into the previous mold momentarily, the soul that is now ever present having come out of exile, comes to monitor the thoughts and actions of us. This soul upholds justice and honesty. If the ego drove us and kept us captive earlier the soul now moves us in the opposite direction.

One just cannot be a Siddha without going through the rituals of life. Yes, as a child you have to go through the stress that modern education has come to place on children. You have to go through the stress of working life on young adults and the multiple stresses that come with relationships. Having gone through these trying moments one finally picks up the rituals in worship, to tone these down. What we have done is take snapshots of the timeline from the age of the Puranas and freeze it in stones, granite, and metal statues and began to worship these images and personifications as Avatars and forms taken by the divine forces as in Sariyai and Kriyai. So we see instances of fearful gods and goddesses in the Hindu pantheon carried through the ages and upheld as worship. Coming to the Siddhas and Yogam, it helps to spend some time diverting one's attention from the regimes of life to a moment of quietitude and peace where the soul within and the Siddhas begin to speak. Then when we pass on others shall do these rituals to send us off. The Malays and Muslims have a wonderful saying that denotes this, "Sembahyanglah anda sebelum anda disembahyangkan". These are rituals for the afterlife. Man's life is kept active by these rituals but when one reaches the state of a Siddha he drops all these and frees himself from being tied down, only after he has eaten the fruits of his labor and seen its benefits. 

BECOMING ALIVE

I always wonder what goes on in the minds of my grandchildren. When I ask them there are no answers. They remain quiet. They seem blank. Either they never understood the question or did not know how to put them into words. What does a kid growing up have on his mind? His toys. He becomes possessive of his possessions but occasionally shares his toys with other children. What does a teen have on his mind? Entering puberty brings with it its share of challenges. What does a young adult have on his mind? His career. What does a man or woman in midlife have on their mind? Security. A home and savings that would secure their lives. What does a man or woman in their golden age have on their mind? What shall become of their properties? I don't know. This is my assumption. 

Coming naked and leaving naked, we tend to forget this truth and chase after material gains, often stabbing another or harming them in our pursuit of stardom, recognition, status, etc. In our race to win, we tend to show the ugly side of us. But beyond all these external dressing is the soul or Atma or JeevAtma that needs to be freed from captivity, held by the Karma, desires, and Tatvas. One has to come to know of its existence, address its purpose in coming here, and attain the state of Mukti or Jeevan Mukti and become a Jeeva Mukta. 

But it does not come easily. One has to fight numerous battles to arrive there. Battling his Karma, and battling his ever-growing Ego and its worldly desires, he has to learn to let go and drop his hold on all things, transforming the gross body into the subtle and pure, into a temple that is befitting for the continued stay of the Atma that is radiant and pure. This is where we need help. From the love, compassion, and guidance of the parents, family, relatives, friends, and colleagues, in society to the spiritual aids, methods, and ways that are given by the gurus or spiritual masters. One has to take these tools and work on himself shedding the self that he had come to create, and revealing his true Self and nature in its place. He is reborn again. He is truly alive then.   

MORE INSIGHTS

Nadi astrologer Thiru Ka. Partiban brings Ramalinga Adigal's understanding to us. He gives certain very interesting insights into Ramalinga Adigal's teachings. This coincides with Agathiyar's 5 tenets given to mankind, which he presented at the Tamil Sangam. 

Besides finding out and first understanding his purpose in taking birth, and upon knowing it, coming to thank the divine creator or energy that brought forth his birth (through consultation with the lunar forefathers and their angelic hierarchies that co-exist with us down here), and thanking all the caretakers both seen and unseen, in the present and the past, he now has to "dutifully aid and help, the ongoing evolution of all co-existing human beings". This is what the saints and Jeevan Muktas did in the past. Though Ramalinga Adigal physically shut the door to his room at Siddhivalagam in Methukuppam, upon entering it, telling those gathered around that henceforth he shall not appear, he never shut the door on the face of seekers says Partiban. The famous quote of Adigal he came to sell his ware and no one bought it was according to Partiban made up. Agathiyar told us that bringing the shutter down on AVM in 2019 was only a temporary measure. He then referred to Ramalinga Adigal who locked his Satya Gnana Sabai back then too, telling us that that too was temporary. Even today Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal tirelessly are trying to rope these souls who have gone astray and bring them back into the pen, hence fulfilling this fourth tenet, "dutifully aid and help, the ongoing evolution of all co-existing human beings". Just as six young men including Tim Slessor set out to make history by being the first to drive 19,000 miles overland from London to Singapore in 1955, a team from across the world, in 2019, retraced that "adventure in a 64-year-old car crossing 23 countries, "driving 19,000 km from Singapore to the United Kingdom", in "111 days from August 25th to December 14th, 2019", "recreating the historic First Overland expedition of 1955", the Siddhas too are eagerly waiting for us to retrace their journey and the path trodden by them. They want us too to walk the path and experience for ourselves the joy and bliss of arriving there. I was blessed to have Agathiyar assign Tavayogi to take me places. All I did was heed the call to come to the worship of the Siddhas in the Nadi. All I did was heed the call to go over to Tavayogi's ashram and spend some time with him and discover and learn from him. Everything else then just fell into place. When suspicions, doubts, thoughts, likes, dislikes, resistance, and confusion, that pose as obstacles are out of the way, everything turns out according to the divine wish. This is the reason Lord Muruga in coming to us some years back asked each one of us if we have surrendered. "Only then can I give you something", he said. Agathiyar recently revealed the reason he has asked that we be still. "Only then can I work on you", he said. Again the key word here is surrender. 

The Final tenet given to us was to extend this aid and help, towards "the ongoing evolution of all co-existing beings and entities, existing upon the lower levels of the evolutionary ladder, dutifully supporting the manifested matrix or prapanjam." When we bring up the compassion in us we tend to shower or love or at least respect another life. So we try not to harm another being. We stop killing them and consuming their meat. So where do we turn for food? We turn to the plants, their grains, and fruits. Saivam or vegetarianism is a way and means whereby we aid the plant kingdom to propagate. Just as the bee pollinates the flowers and it bears fruits, man picks these and consumes them, throwing away its seed elsewhere where it germinates and grows into a tree, says Partiban. At the same time, if in plant propagation man has to step in, as does the bees, Partiban says the animals do not need our help to propagate. It has all the skills to attract the female and bring it to bed as we see in the documentaries. 

THE JOY WITHIN

The sensation in the crown of the head is there as I pen these words. It travels and consumes my whole body bringing shivers of joy and bliss. These I experience as I walk in the open park in the mornings and evenings. This I experience when I step out of my home and stand in my garden. This I experience when I open the windows and look out. This I experience when I have a shower. This I experience when I have food. 

During my evening walk a couple of days ago my second daughter who spends her time after office hours gardening decided to join me. I introduced her to my walking companions. This morning I did stop to ask one of these seniors his age. He was a Chinese man. He told me that he was 90. I was thrilled to see him still walking the grounds. It gave me joy to see him mobile and independent. He blessed me that I shall live till this age too. He was the second person to say so after another senior citizen, a Malay man in his 80s, whom I met during my routine medical checkup some time back said the same. 

When later in the evening Mahindren dropped by my house after work, we shared some stories as usual. I told him that all those whom I knew once had been kept at bay, for none called on me. Neither did they give me a call. I realized that after Agathiyar brought the shutters down on AVM and all our puja and charity; after having me go within; after he activated the energies; and in having me do nothing further, he has kept everyone at bay. I am left all "alone" which is blissful. Though I am all "alone" I am very much connected with everyone and everything around me now. I am a hermit who is very much in touch with others, for a casual greeting and a smile bring waves of love and joy in me these days. Bliss and joy instantaneously run through me. Gone are the days when puja brought immense joy and bliss within me. Gone are the days when we gathered at AVM and recalled and talked for hours about the many joyful moments that we as friends and the AVM family had gone through. Though these moments brought on much joy and bliss, I believe he is making me drop my dependency on joy and bliss from the outside as in Puja and Satsangs and instead has me tap into these states that I have come to believe are very much in us. We need not look towards external means, sources, instruments, or catalysts to trigger joy and bliss in us. It is very much in us. We are an embodiment of joy and bliss. So all those who I once knew have been distanced by him, giving me space and the moments to engage with this joy and bliss from within. I understand now what Agathiyar and Lord Muruga meant by telling me that there was nothing more to do and be still.

KARMA IS NOT MENACING

Satguru Sivaya Subramuniyaswami in his book "Karma and Reincarnation - An Inspired Talk" speaks about Karma which is the the law of cause and effect and action and reaction. Sanchita karma is the sum total of past karma that has yet to be resolved. Prarabdha is that portion of Sanchita karma experienced in the present life. If we are currently dealing with Prarabdha karmic patterns for this birth, then how we will react to them is Kriyamana karma which is presently created.

"Sancita is the accumulated karma of the past and is partly seen as man's tendencies: character, his/her powers, capacities, and weaknesses, that came to be through his/her many births."

"From the midst of the Samcitas is selected a portion, Prarabdha and, at the time of the beginning of the body, time energizes this portion for reaping which cannot be avoided but must be experienced in the present life. Prarabdha is only exhausted by being experienced."

In essence, the Atma designs the right vessel and vehicle to contain and drive the past Karma to extinction, at least a portion of it that "we" can shoulder in a particular birth. Do not blame yourself for having to face your Karma for it is the Soul that has chosen to experience. Though the "I" in you suffers and feels the pain, anguish, misery, suffering, pleasure, and joy, the truth of the matter is that the Soul is experiencing all these through this body and its mental faculties. So when we equate the Soul or JeevAtma to the larger ParamAtma, the former being a part of the latter, it is God having the experience through "us". Let it be. It is only when the "I" intervenes that it becomes personal and we add to the baggage. 

This is what Dr. Hiroshi Motoyama in "Karma and Reincarnation", Piatkus, 1992 suggests too, "Dissolving karma through learning detachment - non-action within an action." 

From Henry Wei in the "Guiding Light of Lao Tzu", Synergy Books International, we learn that,

"So much emphasis does Lao Tzu lay on the most important doctrine in regard to spiritual cultivation known as Wu Wei or non-action which is in the sense of non-interference, that is to say, non-interference with the trend of nature or the flow of Tao."

Satguru Sivaya Subramuniyaswami speaks about yet another Karma.

"Vartamana or Kriyamana, the third type is karma which is now being created. That karma is being done. The actual, that which is now being made for the future, or the coming karma."

Paramahansa Yogananda in his "Autobiography of a Yogi", Self Realization Fellowship, 1990, writes,

"Karma is not a finished thing awaiting us, but a constant becoming, in which the future is not only shaped by the past but is modified by the present."

Satguru Sivaya Subramuniyaswami continues, 

"While God is the creator and sustainer of the cosmic law of karma, He does not dispense individual karma. He does not produce cancer in one person’s body and develop Olympic athletic prowess in another’s. We create our own experiences. It is really an exercising of our soul’s powers of creation. Karma, then, is our best spiritual teacher. We spiritually learn and grow as our actions return to us to be resolved and dissolved... there is the self-created experience that presents opportunities for spiritual advancement." As "It is an effect of a previous cause", the concept, and idea of revealing our past Karma is to bring us to understand the law of cause and effect and action and reaction, outcomes of our actions, and handle the situation on hand carefully and make us accountable for all our actions. Agathiyar too told me to understand the workings of Karma and live accordingly. 

Karma are markers on the timeline as in any video editing software. When one arrives at these markers certain happenings take place that trigger a sequence of sub-happenings which some can stomach while others might find threatening and disastrous. These upheavals that upset the routine can be in the form of an illness, an accident, a tragedy, a loss, etc. It could also be in the form of tiny moments of happiness, cheer, joy, and the showering of wealth, property, etc, all rewards of our past actions. 

A child who is for instance terminally ill has come pure, is pure by nature, and will leave this world pure. It came carrying no Karma, for the concept of Karma is for one to either go through the pleasures of lives or sufferings accordingly, to experience and learn lessons, and correct or accept and receive them in this life. As these special children are born with certain setbacks that prevent them from actively creating Karma, and they are not capable of knowingly doing harm to others nor do they carry vises or sins, and since they are indifferent to joy and pain, bliss and suffering, they are here on the last leg of their journey that brings an end to the cycle and not take another birth again. These children are souls that are ready to reach God. They are very close to God and God loves them very much. 

Satguru Sivaya Subramuniyaswami asks us to "Imagine how intricately interconnected all the cycles of karma are for our planet’s life forms." So do not blame yourself for having to face your Karma for it is touched by so many factors that come into play. You are not solely responsible for the outcomes. We all bear equal responsibility. Since we each carry our own baggage, no person can look another in the eye and blame the other's situation or dilemma purely on his Karma. We are all in it together. 

A STORY TO TELL

The reason our temples were built in hard-to-reach places in the past was to have us shed the baggage that we carry as we take one step at a time climbing the precarious slopes leading to these abodes. The hardship one goes through in trekking the jungles and the slopes, helps us shed our Karma. Hence the Siddhas upon revealing our past deeds sent us on a pilgrimage to temples and divine spots. Here we are forced to be attentive or a slip of the foot shall have us fall into the ravines. We begin to live in the present moment. We leave behind all the problems and troubles that we faced at home for we now have a new problem on hand, how to manage the terrain and keep us safe. We are attentive to the moment. We are empty. We are emptied of any thoughts. Now emptied we step into the temple grounds. We are momentarily empty vessels waiting to be filled with God's grace. We have come by what was a trial and test of our faith. We arrived in a state of total surrender. We rejoice in having made it. We receive what is due to us and leave in a state of bliss. 

This is what exactly had happened to me though I did not have the slightest idea back then when I took my very first step up to the Palani temple. My feet suddenly froze like a dead log or like a concrete. I could not move them. I had to use my hands to lift and place each leg on each step. I did this all the way up. The irony is that I had trained to climb before coming to India. I had carried my second daughter in my arms and walked with my family up the flight of stairs at Batu Caves. I did the same with my family exploring the Gua Tempurung caves. I was fit as a fiddle. What happened at Palani then? Was I not welcomed then? It could not be. I did not accidentally walk into Palani. Agathiyar in the Nadi had told me to visit the temple. I was panting, sweating, exhausted on the verge of fainting. My throat was parched and dry and I was thirsty. Eventually, after a very long time, in which none of the passersby nor devotees turned to help, enquire, or much less give a glance at me, I reached the top landing and stepped into the open space. I looked for a place to sit. I saw a row of shops and walked towards them. I dropped the goodies I bought for Lord Murugan and dropped my torso on the floor too. I did not faint but was very well aware of what was going on. The sights and sounds before me switched to that of a blinding light like gazing at the sun. I saw the silhouette of people walking past me and heard muffled voices. After some moments I came back to my usual self. I stood up, picked up the bag of gifts for the Lord, and stood in line to have his Darisanam or darshan. What did take place?  

After his Darshan which I have no memory of, I stepped through a door into a dark corridor. Immediately on my right was another door. Taking a look in I saw three priests in attendance. The most elderly among the three who were standing closest to the door acknowledged that it was Bhogar's sannadhi and invited me in. He did a small ritual. When I realized that the devotees standing in line with me both in front and behind me, to get the Lord's Darshan we nowhere to be seen, I took the opportunity to sit beside another door that I presumed was an exit door. Upon opening my eyes after some time, a young priest handed me some Prasad. He walked towards a tall cabinet and reached out for a tumbler. He handed it over to me. In it was milk. He gestured me to drink it telling me that it was Abhisega milk gathered from the libation of the Lord. I consumed it gladly and handed the tumbler back to him. I picked myself up and thanked him by gesture too and walked out the door into another corridor, bright this time, and into the open space. I walked back into the sights and sounds of the temple grounds. I kept walking round and round as if in circumambulating the temple. It was as if my feet never touched the ground. It was as if I was walking on air. Finally, as the feet became heavier and normal, I decided to return to the waiting car. What did take place? 

Three years later in 2005, when Tavayogi brought me here, I had no problem climbing up. What surprised me was the layout of the temple. Again I could not recount what I saw at Lord Murugan's sannadhi. As we stepped out of a door we took a flight of steps down into the open where was another building. Now if this was Bhogar's sannadhi where did I step into in 2003? Again a young priest approached us with a tumbler of milk as we stepped out of the sanndahi into a corridor. Tavayogi took a sip and passed it to my brother and I finished it and handed the tumbler back to the priest. There was no exchange of words. As Tavayogi and my brother went ahead the experience I had on my first visit came on again. I was practically floating on air. I hurried up to catch up with them. That is when Tavayogi who never turned around to check on me throughout our travels the past few days, decided to stop and turn to me. I saw a twinkle in his eyes and a smile that told me he knew what was going on. I walked up to him and placed my head on his chest when he asked "What Son?" as if not knowing. What did take place? 

But times changed and men began to consider the comfort of the devotees and started erecting and building facilities to ease their travels. We arrive in comfort and leave in comfort defeating the true purpose of temples. Hence we do not appreciate the moment upon arriving. 

When my family and I were led to the cave temple in Sungai Siput it was a moment of mystic and joy right from the beginning. When my father-in-law spoke about it and connected me with the temple head; when the temple head volunteered to bring us there in his car; when upon arrival the temple priest without another word took us into the dark openings of the caves; when the temple priest briefed us about the temple history and its significance and pointed us out to certain things that we would not have take note and known; and when I was then thrown off my feet after swirling and landed in a pit without a scratch and laughing like a madman; all these were indeed mystical in essence and unexplainable. 

Then we brought a busload of devotees to this cave later.

Balamurugan reached Kailash in 2011. He has a story to share because he faced hardship in reaching the holy mountain. He has a story to share because he lost his way. 

Asokhan too has a story to share for he too lost his way in the Sabari hills. 

Though the AVM family did not face much hardship nor lose our way, we imbibed and shared many moments visiting temples and holy spots en route to Kallar ashram to participate in its inauguration in 2016. Just as Agathiyar in his memo to us on Guru Purnima this year mentioned that one should take in the vibes and take them home with them and think and speak about those mystical moments, we unknowingly had shared these wonderful moments back then upon returning home, in the presence of Kaattu Samy of Agathiyar Ashram of Anuvavi.

TRUE EXISTENCE

There are many after coming to the Siddha path begin to dictate and take exclusive possession of the Siddhas, dictating the ways and means, spelling the requirements to even step into the fold. This path is not anybody's personal property to lay claim on. Generally upon coming in one sees that many keep adding on enriching the method and the means, the practices and the rituals, etc. Contrary to adding on, the Siddha path is one of freeing oneself from all forms of attachments. This is the final lap in running for office on this path. If you can let it all go, you have won the battle. There is nothing more to add. The search ends. You remain as you are - your true Self, one of joy and bliss, completeness and fullness and at peace. You have arrived. 

But for want of experiences, the Siddhas would have us go through our Karma, and live out our desires and wants. Once these are out of the way, then they rope us in to do their work. Finally, they have us drop even these and look within towards the Soul or Atma. The Atma then leads us towards our true purpose in coming here which is attaining Mukti or the state of Paripuranam or completeness. What else is there then to attain, reach, or grab further? You have arrived. 

We have heard the filthy rich tell us that there is an emptiness in them. It is peculiar that in completeness, there is an emptiness. To know light, one needs to move in the dark first. Similarly, to experience emptiness, one has to fill himself with all the stuff of the world that appeases all his senses to the max. He is filled to the brim. Then on the other hand, Agathiyar and Lord Muruga, in telling me that there was nothing else to do, made me realize that only when nothing moves us further can we appreciate emptiness. In this emptiness is completeness. We just exist. How puzzling is this world? We can never comprehend it.