The reason our temples were built in hard-to-reach places in the past was to have us shed the baggage that we carry as we take one step at a time climbing the precarious slopes leading to these abodes. The hardship one goes through in trekking the jungles and the slopes, helps us shed our Karma. Hence the Siddhas upon revealing our past deeds sent us on a pilgrimage to temples and divine spots. Here we are forced to be attentive or a slip of the foot shall have us fall into the ravines. We begin to live in the present moment. We leave behind all the problems and troubles that we faced at home for we now have a new problem on hand, how to manage the terrain and keep us safe. We are attentive to the moment. We are empty. We are emptied of any thoughts. Now emptied we step into the temple grounds. We are momentarily empty vessels waiting to be filled with God's grace. We have come by what was a trial and test of our faith. We arrived in a state of total surrender. We rejoice in having made it. We receive what is due to us and leave in a state of bliss.
This is what exactly had happened to me though I did not have the slightest idea back then when I took my very first step up to the Palani temple. My feet suddenly froze like a dead log or like a concrete. I could not move them. I had to use my hands to lift and place each leg on each step. I did this all the way up. The irony is that I had trained to climb before coming to India. I had carried my second daughter in my arms and walked with my family up the flight of stairs at Batu Caves. I did the same with my family exploring the Gua Tempurung caves. I was fit as a fiddle. What happened at Palani then? Was I not welcomed then? It could not be. I did not accidentally walk into Palani. Agathiyar in the Nadi had told me to visit the temple. I was panting, sweating, exhausted on the verge of fainting. My throat was parched and dry and I was thirsty. Eventually, after a very long time, in which none of the passersby nor devotees turned to help, enquire, or much less give a glance at me, I reached the top landing and stepped into the open space. I looked for a place to sit. I saw a row of shops and walked towards them. I dropped the goodies I bought for Lord Murugan and dropped my torso on the floor too. I did not faint but was very well aware of what was going on. The sights and sounds before me switched to that of a blinding light like gazing at the sun. I saw the silhouette of people walking past me and heard muffled voices. After some moments I came back to my usual self. I stood up, picked up the bag of gifts for the Lord, and stood in line to have his Darisanam or darshan. What did take place?
After his Darshan which I have no memory of, I stepped through a door into a dark corridor. Immediately on my right was another door. Taking a look in I saw three priests in attendance. The most elderly among the three who were standing closest to the door acknowledged that it was Bhogar's sannadhi and invited me in. He did a small ritual. When I realized that the devotees standing in line with me both in front and behind me, to get the Lord's Darshan we nowhere to be seen, I took the opportunity to sit beside another door that I presumed was an exit door. Upon opening my eyes after some time, a young priest handed me some Prasad. He walked towards a tall cabinet and reached out for a tumbler. He handed it over to me. In it was milk. He gestured me to drink it telling me that it was Abhisega milk gathered from the libation of the Lord. I consumed it gladly and handed the tumbler back to him. I picked myself up and thanked him by gesture too and walked out the door into another corridor, bright this time, and into the open space. I walked back into the sights and sounds of the temple grounds. I kept walking round and round as if in circumambulating the temple. It was as if my feet never touched the ground. It was as if I was walking on air. Finally, as the feet became heavier and normal, I decided to return to the waiting car. What did take place?
Three years later in 2005, when Tavayogi brought me here, I had no problem climbing up. What surprised me was the layout of the temple. Again I could not recount what I saw at Lord Murugan's sannadhi. As we stepped out of a door we took a flight of steps down into the open where was another building. Now if this was Bhogar's sannadhi where did I step into in 2003? Again a young priest approached us with a tumbler of milk as we stepped out of the sanndahi into a corridor. Tavayogi took a sip and passed it to my brother and I finished it and handed the tumbler back to the priest. There was no exchange of words. As Tavayogi and my brother went ahead the experience I had on my first visit came on again. I was practically floating on air. I hurried up to catch up with them. That is when Tavayogi who never turned around to check on me throughout our travels the past few days, decided to stop and turn to me. I saw a twinkle in his eyes and a smile that told me he knew what was going on. I walked up to him and placed my head on his chest when he asked "What Son?" as if not knowing. What did take place?
But times changed and men began to consider the comfort of the devotees and started erecting and building facilities to ease their travels. We arrive in comfort and leave in comfort defeating the true purpose of temples. Hence we do not appreciate the moment upon arriving.
When my family and I were led to the cave temple in Sungai Siput it was a moment of mystic and joy right from the beginning. When my father-in-law spoke about it and connected me with the temple head; when the temple head volunteered to bring us there in his car; when upon arrival the temple priest without another word took us into the dark openings of the caves; when the temple priest briefed us about the temple history and its significance and pointed us out to certain things that we would not have take note and known; and when I was then thrown off my feet after swirling and landed in a pit without a scratch and laughing like a madman; all these were indeed mystical in essence and unexplainable.
Then we brought a busload of devotees to this cave later.
Balamurugan reached Kailash in 2011. He has a story to share because he faced hardship in reaching the holy mountain. He has a story to share because he lost his way.
Asokhan too has a story to share for he too lost his way in the Sabari hills.
Though the AVM family did not face much hardship nor lose our way, we imbibed and shared many moments visiting temples and holy spots en route to Kallar ashram to participate in its inauguration in 2016. Just as Agathiyar in his memo to us on Guru Purnima this year mentioned that one should take in the vibes and take them home with them and think and speak about those mystical moments, we unknowingly had shared these wonderful moments back then upon returning home, in the presence of Kaattu Samy of Agathiyar Ashram of Anuvavi.