What is this game that the divine plays? What purpose does it serve? If it is to bring enlightenment, we are told that we are already enlightened souls. What are we then searching for? If it is God, God is a creation of the mind of man. If it is the Self, when did we lose it? Assuming that we already know this self, why did we need to be born only to search for something that we never lost in the very first place?
I guess this is the reason Tavayogi, at the very start of my journey, killed the attachment and bond that was likely to arise between us in the years to come, telling me that I was living in Maya, thinking he was holy, and had me take hold of Agathiyar's hand instead. Tavayogi slowly reveals Agathiyar to me.
- Taking Agathiyar to be real, having listened to and read the stories that revolved around him, he was a story, a legend, and a myth. He was the Story.
- In reading the Nadi, he came as the word. He was the Word.
- In coming as a Yantra, sacred figures etched into a thin copper foil that Dr Krishnan passed on to me to be worshipped, he was a sacred geometric diagram. He was the Yantra.
- In giving my wife and me an initiation, Tavayogi Agathiyar came as syllables in a mantra. He was the Mantra.
- When Agathiyar, in a Nadi reading, surprised both him and me by giving another initiation, it was given in silence and in private, and with a touch, unlike the first amongst others. Agathiyar was the very Silence and the Touch.
- If he was standing as a 6-foot-tall fibre-glass statue the day I arrived at Tavayogi's Ashram on my first visit, Agathiyar had a Form and Figure.
- When he told me that Agathiyar came to him the night before as light, he now was Light.
- When Agathiyar spoke to him, asking what Tavayogi was going to give me, he came as Speech.
- When he brought me to places that included the jungles and caves, temples, and abodes, he pointed to the aroma in the air and told me that the Siddhas were ushering us. He came as the Aroma.
- Bringing me to Agasthiyampalli and later to Papanasam, he showed me Agathiyar in the granite statue, opening the eyes; having only one eye carved open in granite in the former, and having both eyes open just like human eyes in the latter. He was alive in these statues. He was Life.
- Just before I left for Malaysia, he gave me another initiation, my third, telling me that Agathiyar was Vaasi, or the breath. He was the Breath.
- Coming over to Malaysia again a couple of years later, he gave me Pranayama and Asana techniques, having me experience him as the Prana. He was the Prana.
- Coming in the form of a bronze statue to my home, he opened his eyes again. He was Life.
- Having brought my family and me to another spot in the Kallar Hills, where Agathiyar appeared as light again, shortly after bringing us to the Nattadreswar temple, he told me, just as we were leaving, that Agathiyar and Siva were one. He was Siva.
- In having us carry out puja, he came as the feeling of bliss. He was Bliss.
- In having us carry out charity, he came as the feeling of joy within those moments. He was Joy.
- Agathiyar, in asking to leave for the home of several devotees, left Prapanjam to fill the void in my home. He was now the Prapanjam.
- In bringing seekers over to my home, he became the Guru.
- In bringing the sick and suffering over to my home, he became the Healer.
- Agathiyar, who was seen to be a figure from the past, mentioned in the myths, legends, and Puranas, came to us as a Guardian, Angel, Guru, as a Father and Mother too, as a friend and companion, as a walking and working partner.
- He worked hard on us, bringing us to realize our Soul or JeevAtma, and bringing us to realize its oneness with him, Agathiyar, the Param, ParamAtma, Sivam, and attain Mukti in this very birth, spending the rest of our days in peace as a Jeevan Muktan.
What more could one ask? I submit all that he has given me at his Holy Feet as Guru Dhakshana, just as he had placed all his learning at the Holy Feet of Siva in the past.