CONVERSATIONS WITH AGATHIYAR 1

My very first Nadi reading in 2002, brought me to have a conversation with Agathiyar, though it was one-way. Agathiyar spoke through the Nadi in Tamil that was out of use in present times, that was read and retold to me with explanations in simple basic day to day spoken Tamil, by trained professionals in their field. In the chapters of the Kaanda Nadi that I was advised to read by the Nadi reader Sentilkumar and another from the Gnana Kaandam that was suggested I read too, by Sivabalan who brought the reader in from India, Agathiyar spoke about me and my past birth, and the reason to take this birth. Knowing the reason and the causes he then listed out the panacea to soften if not entirely remove the imprints of my past actions that if left to germinate will determine my fate further. Agathiyar gave me an opportunity to rewrite my fate and together create a new destiny that day. But I had yet to know the man who addressed me in the Nadi, who knew me only too well that he could talk about my future, the present, and my past and even my past births. He told me to come back for another reading some three years later. I guess he wanted to see if I followed whatever he had mentioned in the reading first. 

I took heed of his advice and began working on the parikaram or remedies listed to be carried out in Malaysia and worked on my itinerary to carrying out the rest in India soon. It was only when I went for my very first Nadi reading, and when I was called to come to the path of his, the Siddha path, and after I took up his call that the interest to know about Agathiyar, the author of the said Nadi and the said path grew in me. While waiting to travel to India, I scouted around the existing establishments in the name of Agathiyar to get to know the man. But no one could show me to Agathiyar. They only showed me to their gurus and their activities and accomplishments. I continued on my lone and solo prayers in my home worshipping the Siddhas taking cue from watching Sentilkumar do a prayer Nadikku Dhanam or paying homage to the Nadi that was read to us, in my favour and on my behalf. With the small booklet from which he recited the names of the Siddhas that he passed on to me and the painting of Agathiyar that I bought from Sivabalan, my journey on the path of the Siddhas began with worship to them.

Several months after my first reading I stepped on the Indian soil, the birthplace of my father and our ancestors, for the very first time. Prior to seeing the Nadi, I had neither idea nor intention to go to India. I planned to go in December 2003 for the Kartigai Deepam festival but opted to go earlier. I finally left for India on 31 August 2003. I was to conduct atonement or parikaaram at Utamar Temple, Palur Sani Temple, and Tiru Aanaikaval Temple, all in Trichi. Besides that, I was asked to worship at the five elemental temples of Shiva, namely Kalahasti Temple in Andhra Pradesh, Egambareswarar Temple in Kanchipuram, Tillai Nadaraja Temple in Chidambaram, and Tiru Aanaikaval Temple in Trichi (already mentioned). I was also instructed to worship at Palani Murugan and Bhogar’s Temple. I was to circumambulate (girivalam) the sacred hill of Tiruvannamalai during a full moon. 

I could see his invisible hand and his magic in all thing beginning with switching the driver. Devendran told me later that another driver Raji was to fetch and accompany me throughout my journey in India but he had taken ill suddenly. I came to realize later that the switch was all for a purpose, for I was destined to meet my Guru and Devendran was to take me to meet him later. Dhaksanamurthi, my travel agent in Malaysia, was waiting for my arrival at the Sindoori Hotel in Chennai. He told me Vinayagar Chathurthi, the day I traveled to India, was an auspicious day to travel, as it was customary for Indians to plan travel on this day. Although I did not have any atonement to be done at Tirumalai Vengadesa Temple in Tirupathi, Andra Pradesh, Dhaksanamurthi had included it in the itinerary. Paying my respects to the Lord at Tirupathy, and stopping over to carry out my first parikaram at Kalahasteeswarer Temple in Kalahasti, I retreated for the night in a hotel in town. That night at the hotel, I suddenly felt alone. Here was I heeding Agathiyar’s words (in the Nadi). I had made this long pilgrimage, alone. But where was he? I was also disturbed. Had I to pay at each temple for entrance fees, parking fees, fees for special queues, etc.? Why did we need to pay to see the Gods, I questioned myself? Only then did I realize how easy it was to pray at the temples in Malaysia. It was absolutely free of charge. I was beginning to wonder whether this was how it was going to be for the rest of my journey? The thought did disturb me.

The next day, 2 September 2003, I visited the Kalahasteeswarer Temple again, this time alone. I was there from 6 am to 8 am not because I wanted but was detoured by an invisible hand. I came round the temple complex several times trying to look for the exit. After each unintended circumambulation of the temple complex, I end up at the only doorway which I told myself was not the one that I had entered through. Questioning the security guard he told me that this was the only doorway that served both as the entrance and the exit door to the temple complex. As I stepped out into the open, I realized I had indeed entered through this entrance and that I was disorientated and could not find my bearings back there. I wonder why the good Lord of Kalahasti got me to circumambulate him many times before letting me off?

Arriving at Tiritani, I was soon to find out at the end of my journey that my Guru was born on this temple grounds. At the Egambareswarar Temple, another of the Pancha Stalam that I was directed to perform parikaram, as the main sanctum was packed with people witnessing a ‘private prayer’ and as the atmosphere was extremely noisy, I decided to move away to see if I could do my parikaram elsewhere. As I came around the temple complex, I stopped at the entrance to a large chamber on my left, to take a look. I saw a huge and majestic statue of Lord Nadaraja within looking down on me. A young priest who stood at its entrance quickly ushered me into the chamber. He walked briskly ahead of me and lighted the camphor. As I stepped inside this magnificent chamber, I felt I had stepped into another world and plane; another space and time; an entirely different atmosphere, an entirely new feeling, something I had never felt before overcame me. I could feel a strong vibration come over me. Was I being shown a small sample of the bliss that is often mentioned by the Yogis and Gurus I wondered later? I stood in front of Lord Nadaraja, at close proximity, amazed, astonished and emotionally shaken up, tears pouring down the cheeks, and eventually, I broke into a loud cry as the young priest continued his chant as he showed the sacred flame or arati.  I had my Lord all to myself at that moment. Everything else stood still! Eventually, I became composed, thanked the priest and made my way out of that mesmerizing and eccentric chamber of Lord Nadaraja. Further down the corridor, an elderly couple invited me to sit and watch with them the bathing ritual or Abhisegam to Goddess Kaali. I sat with them to witness a private prayer or puja to Maa Kaali. I stayed long enough to witness Abhisegam performed on Lord Egambareswarar too.

Wednesday, 3 September, we left for Melmaruvathur Athi Parasakthi temple. Dhaksanamurthi included this temple in my tour since he had helped build this temple as a student in India. I arrived at the Sathya Gnana Sabai at Vadalore later, a place I had very much wanted to come to, after reading about its founder saint and Siddha, Ramalinga Adigal. But I was disappointed by the turn of events or rather it was uneventful in a sense. The priest came in at 11.45 am after a long wait. He opened a door to let himself inside and did not come out for a while. Then he emerged to open the huge timber door to the sanctum to expose a black curtain drawn closed. As the flame from the camphor was shown to this curtain, devotees gathered quickly to witness this brief ceremony. Some of them chanted the “Arutperunjhoti Mantra”. That was that. It was all over within minutes. There was neither interaction nor eye contact between the priest and the devotees. I whispered to a devotee Janaki Amma, who was singing the praises of the Lord from the Thiruarutpa by Ramalinga Adigal, that I intended to make a donation and she brought me to the administrative office. I was disappointed with the attitude of the official at the office. As we left the temple grounds, people crowded around the car asking for alms. I was again disappointed with the management and sad on seeing the fate of these people. I had so many questions go on in my mind as to why poverty was not eradicated; people were still seeking alms, and people were still left hungry. After so many years of existence of the Sathya Gnana Sabai, their fate had not changed.

I moved on to Sidhivalagam Thirumaligai in Mettukuppam. I stopped at Bhuvanagiri, the birthplace of Swami Raghavendra as my brother-in-law and sister who were staunched devotees of his, requested I try to visit the Swami’s home which was now a shrine. Unfortunately, the building was closed for renovation. Nevertheless, I managed to steal a peek of the image of the Swami through the grilled doorway. 

Arriving in Chidambaram, as the Tillai Nadaraja temple was closed for the afternoon, we adjourned to the Tillai Kali Temple, which was some distance away. On my return to Malaysia, I read in the net that one should visit the Kali Temple first before Tillai Nadaraja Temple which I had exactly done although unknowingly. Although I was disappointed at the behavior and attitude of the priests, with no other option, I conducted the prayers at the Adi Lingam sanctum as I had to offer a prayer here according to the Nadi. 

Sentilkumar, recommended that I include the Tiruvenkadu Temple in my tour of temples and instructed me on the Kriya to perform at this temple.

I arrived at the Suryanar Temple in Mayil Aduthurai in the scorching heat of the day, at exactly 12 noon. I had been advised against giving alms to the poor on this pilgrimage by my brother who had the bitter experience of having to ward off large groups of beggars who turned up once they see a foreigner or visitor giving donations. Shivabalan had particularly mentioned to me to be wary of beggars in the guise of sadhus especially at this temple. True enough there were many kavi or safron clothed men sitting at the entrance to the temple asking for alms. I made my way hastily into the temple grounds. After offering my prayers, and taking heed of their advice, I left the grounds of the temple hurriedly as the sand was burning my feet. A woman came after me calling out to me and asking for alms. She was followed by a disfigured man struggling to catch up with us. This couple, as if reading my mind, told me, “There are only two of us - please donate”. True enough no one was around on the immediate grounds of the temple. I dipped my hands into my pockets and handed whatever cash I had then to the woman who happily went away with her partner. Who could they possibly be?

We continued to Utamar Temple. Devendran went in to look for any priests who could assist in doing the attonement or parikaram at this temple as Agathiyar in the Nadi only mentioned that I donate to three Brahmin priests at this temple. Then as if God sent, Devendran appears with a priest willing to guide us at this temple and also to take us to the Tiru Anaikaval Shiva Temple too. The priest advised that we get to Tiru Aanaikaval Temple first, and fast too before, they closed for the lunch break, and to come back to Utamar Temple in the evening for the atonement here. 

It was 12 noon as we arrived at Tiru Anaikaval Temple. The priest from Utamar Temple who volunteered to guide us, advised me on the purchases to be made. To my surprise, he used his contacts at the temple to open doors that were already closed. He had Lord Vinayagar’s chambers opened for me. He called out to an elderly priest who was seated among others taking a break, and requested with a note of authority that he was to conduct the prayers at the main inner sanctum! I had the privilege to enter the main sanctum and be shown the Shivalingam which was partially submerged in water. After the elderly priest conducted the prayers, I fell at his feet for his blessing. As I picked myself up, I saw the priest from Utamar Temple, the temple caretaker, and Devendran too, picking themselves up, having followed my gesture in paying respects to him. The priest from Utamar Temple insisted the elderly priest should conduct the prayers at the Lord Dhaksanamurthi sanctum too. After the elderly priest left, I broke down at Lord Dhakshanamurthi’s sanctum. I cried for all the blessings that I had been shown until then. I suppose I must have cried aloud to the amazement of my newfound friends, for the caretaker of the temple tried to console me. I heard the priest from Utamar Temple say, “Let Him Be, Let Him Cry.” After a while, I picked myself up and we adjourned to feed the poor, a cow, and an elephant on the advice of the priest from Utamar Temple. I was literally pushed or shoved from one shrine to another, by this wonderful group of people, the elderly priest, the priests from Utamar Temple, the temple caretaker and Devendran, performing each prayer to the utmost satisfaction. Returning back to Utamar temple now, the priest whom we picked up at Utamar Temple insisted that I dropped him off at a location that he chose, telling us that he had errands to run. After dropping him off at his chosen spot, and handing him the first of three offerings I had to give away at Utamar Temple we drove off. I chanced to look back to realize that we had dropped him off at a Hanuman temple! Why there I wondered? 

I did not see him at Utamar Temple that evening when I was there completing the rest of my atonement! Why did he get down at the Hanuman temple? Who did come in the guise of the priest and showed me around? Was it Siddha Hanuman who accompanied me at Tiru Aanaikaval and with that much speed and velocity practically shoving me from one shrine to another? Who else but the son of Vayu could perform such a feat! 

As I arrived to get a Darshan and blessings of Rengaraja Desiga Swamigal, founder, and patron of the Sri Agathiar Sanmaarga Sangam, at Ongarakudil, Turaiyur, I was warmly ushered by the late Nadarajah. I had wanted to come here since I learned the worship of the Siddhas from the many literature and videos produced by this society, that I purchased from the local affiliate of theirs in Dengkil, Malaysia. I inquired if I could see the Swami. I was told he would be coming in a short while for the evening prayers at 6.30 pm and that I could see him then. While I waited, I was served tea. After a while, Nadaraja, told me Swami was coming down to meet a couple of businesspeople. I would be able to meet the Swami after they left. However, before I met Swami, Nadaraja showed me around the complex and briefed me about the extent of their services to humanity, as instructed by the Swami to all visitors. As he ended the tour of the office, kitchen, and stores and other related buildings, he gasped aloud to find that the two visitors had left as their car that they had traveled in was not there. He hurried me along to a building, praying that Swami should still be around to see me. To our joy, there was Swami seated alone on the floor in one corner of that small room. There was an aid standing at the doorway to another room. I entered the room and prostrated in front of Swami. Devendran followed too. Nadaraja introduced me to Swami. Swami talked cheerfully about Kuala Lumpur and enquired from Devendran about my arrangement to tour India. 

I never expected to have an audience with Swami one to one. I asked that he bless me. He did not reply. Nadaraja motioned me to speak louder, as he was short of hearing. Fearing he might not have heard me, I asked again. There was no reply. I asked him thrice. Finally, he replied that coming to Ongarakudil in itself was a blessing. I felt disappointed in his answer. I did not know how to receive his answer then. I told myself there could be many reasons for Swami not to bless me as did the other Gurus. I began to question myself if I was not worthy enough to receive his blessings. I had high regards for the Swami as his Nadi revelations, published by his organization, carried praises for the Swami from the Siddhas. He was said to be the Avatar of Ramalinga Adigal. He is said to be Lord Muruga and God reincarnated.

As Sri Ranganatha's main sanctum was just as crowded as Tirupathi and as I could not enter, I spent some time at the shrine for the Goddess where prayers were going on too. As I was about to get into the car and drive away from Sri Rangam a holy man of medium height with a long white beard and long hair that was tied up neatly and dressed in a clean white vesti, suddenly stood beside me as if materializing from out of nowhere. He was fair, merry, and cheerful too. He started blessing me, “You shall be fine”, speaking very fine English and Tamil. I bent to touch his feet, asked if he had eaten, and gave him a token before I bid farewell to him. Who could this be? 

At the Rock Fort where the Uchipillaiyaar Temple and Tayumana Swami Temple were located, the electricity supply was interrupted in certain portions of this Rock Fort Temple but I did not mind because it was an unusual experience, praying and moving around in the dark. 

I left for Palani a day earlier than scheduled. After praying at Tiru Avinankudi temple at the base of the hill, I started for the hill temple. After having taken only a few steps, I could not move my legs anymore. They were frozen. They were extremely heavy as if rooted to the ground. I forced myself to no avail. I had to use my hands to lift my legs and place them down, a step at a time. The heart was pumping hard. I was gasping for air. I had an adrenalin rush then. It made my heart beat faster, increasing blood flow to the brain and muscles, and stimulating the body to make sugar to use for fuel. I pushed myself determined to scale the hill. I had to break the climb though, stopping every few minutes. I eventually reached the top of the hill. On reaching the top, I was dizzy, drenched with sweat, the throat parched and dry, and I had to look for a place to drop my heavy and now exhausted torso. I just dropped my belongings and leaned against the wall of one of the stalls that were lined up. As I sat there, I was sweating profusely on the verge of fainting. The throat was extremely parched and dry. As I opened my eyes all was bright and white. I could hear the crowd and saw only silhouettes of people moving around. What had happened back then? I had no problem climbing the 272 steps at Batu Caves. Neither did I have a problem climbing the numerous steps in the Gua Tempurung Caves back home prior to this trip. So why did I have a tough time climbing Palani Hill? 

Having regained my composure after some time, I stood up to continued to Palani Murugan’s chambers. All I remember after that moment of exhaustion is that  I stood in line to have the Darshan of Lord Murugan. I do not remember seeing Lord Murugan. I cannot recount seeing the face or image of Lord Murugan here then and also on my second trip in 2005 and again in 2016. 

Coming to my senses I followed the crowd ahead of me, leaving the Lord’s chambers. As I stepped out of the chamber onto a corridor I then came upon another room immediately to my right and behind Lord Murugan's chamber. As I took a look inside, I saw four Brahmin priests in attendance. There was no one else in the room. Neither was there anyone ahead of me or behind me in the corridor. I enquired if it was Siddha Bhogar’s Samadhi and they nodded. I entered and stood in prayer while one of the priests showed the flame or arati. One of the priests, a young man, reached out for a tumbler on top of a closet in the room and handed it to me saying it was Abhisegam milk. I just took it in my hands and drank the milk. As I realized that I was the only one then in this chamber, I took the opportunity to sit for a while finding a place near the exit to the room. Upon opening my eyes, the priest who gave me the milk, held out some flowers and vibhuti in his hand. I took leave thanking him silently. Now, where did all the people in front of me and those behind me go? I came out of Siddha Bhogar’s chamber in a daze, not comprehending what had just happened back there. I walked and walked and kept walking around the temple grounds, still in a daze, but with a heart that was full, brimming with joy. Later on 19 August 2005, Agathiyar reveals what took place at Palani in the Nadi! 

8 September 2003, I had a day without any activity as we had covered all the places as planned. Therefore, Devendran suggested I visit my late father’s village Kilsevalpatti in Putukkottai - Shivagangai district. I found myself stepping on the ground where my father was born and grew up. Unfortunately, there was a funeral of a cousin of mine that day and I just enquired from an elderly relative about my father, his home and relatives before leaving.  For some reason I was not allowed to mend or meet up with my relatives in India.

According to the Nadi, I was to circumambulate the Arunachala hill on a full moon night. 9 September 2003, was a day of Girivalam. I joined the long queue to get another Darshan of the Lord before embarking on the Girivalam at 9.40 pm, and completing it at 6.30 am on 10 September. As I was told in the Nadi that I would meet up with my Guru in an unexpected way and in an unexpected place soon, I was hoping to come face to face with him on my pilgrimage of India. As it did not take place earlier, I thought I would meet my Guru at this holy event. When I did not meet him, I consoled myself that it may be another moment and another place or maybe back in Malaysia.

Just before I left Malaysia for India, my wife reminded me that we had not consulted an astrologer on the astrological chart for our second daughter. Since I was going to India, she asked me to look into it. Since I had the rest of the day to myself, I asked if Devendran knew any astrologer. He tells me his uncle was an astrologer and that he was staying nearby. Here is the reason for the switch in the driver fits in. I seized the opportunity to meet his uncle Supramania Swami and have my daughter's future forecast. We drove eight kilometers out of Tiruvannamalai to a small village Nachaananthal, to meet Devendran’s uncle. What I did not know then was that seeing Supramania Swami over an astrological chart was only a reason for me to meet my Guru in waiting.

As we drove up to his village home, a fragile old man walked up to our car. Devendran introduced me as a tourist from Malaysia who was there for his (my) daughter’s astrological chart reading. I mentioned my name to him but he just turned around and led us into his home and to his prayer room. He lighted the camphor and blessed me. He had Devendran place his deerskin on the floor outside his home. Had his son Ramajayam bring out all the almanacs or panjangam. I prepared myself to listen to the astrological revelation of my daughter’s future. However, what he did was to talk about my future and me. 

He mentioned that he had been going around Mount Tiruvannamalai on full moon days, for the past thirty years now, but could not do it the night before due to ill health. The miracle was that even though he was ill and unable to go on Girivalam that night, as I was destined to meet him, I was brought to his place of residence. 

He mentioned his masters. He had had five of them. They were his own father, Jayaraman Pillai, Pundi Mahan (Atru Swami), Sathanandha Swami of Salem (author of the Kandarguru Kavasam), Kolli Malai Swami and Yogi Ramsuratkumar (Visiri Swami). 

I was blessed to receive Guru Upadesam and a teecha Mantra to be recited. He asked that I chant the Mantra for half an hour each day reminding me, “Just as a silversmith polishes his wares we too shall slowly work on it till we achieve it.” 

As we sat together in the open air in that small home in a village known as Nachaananthal, oblivious to what was happening around us and the surrounding; unaware that many curious neighbors and kids had dropped by to view this ‘rare visitor’ from Malaysia, Supramania Swami revealed new happenings that were about to take place in my life. He could tell a number of intimate things about the life and mission I was to face. As he was narrating, I could not help but break down. I cried like a child. I cried for blessings I had received from God until that very moment. I realized how much God loved me then. As I kept on crying, Supramania Swami surprised me further with more predictions. I cried aloud again. 

When Devendran did mention to Swami that it took me nine hours compared to three hours for others to go around mount Tiruvannamalai, Swami replied, “Of course it would take that long for he (referring to me) had been stopping over at all the places of worship and ashrams.” Now how did he know that?

“Take him back with you”, was his parting words to me referring to Lord Annamalaiyar. As we left his home, he stood there, hands together in prayer for me. He was praying for my safe journey. I in return stood there with my palms in prayer to him too, not knowing what was appropriate for the moment. We left him as night fell over this small village known as Nachaananthal, having spent five blissful hours in his presence that day! Having completed my parikaram successfully with Agathiyar sending his proxies to facilitate my travels and the many agamas or rituals that I was supposed to carry out, he finally brought me to my very first Guru Supramania Swami. 

Thursday, 11 September, 6.30 am I walked to Annamalaiyar Temple to have his Darshan again. There was no crowd that morning. I took my time to pray and look around. As I came around the temple grounds, a woman was standing alone against the wall opposite Lord Egambareswarar’s sanctum. She indicated by hand gestures that she was hungry. I reached for my pocket and gave her money. Something prompted me to fall at her feet. As no one actually begs within the temple compound, I wondered who it was?

We went over to Ramana Maharishi’s ashram and Yogi Ramsuratkumar’s Samadhi. I realized that I had to meet his disciple Supramania Swami first before coming to him. On my Girivalam the night before, I returned to the original path after failing to find the Yogi's Samadhi in the dark, although many along the way pointed me directions. I went over to Kuberan Lingam at 11.30 pm as Supramania Swami instructed and left for Chennai to return home. I had planned to see a few more temples in Chennai but it was not important anymore. After Tiruvannamalai and the Darshan of Supramania Swami, nothing was important anymore.

TO ACCEPT OR DECLINE? SIMPLIFIED

After reading my response to her questions, my friend and comrade writes in her views, that clarify and simplify the subject further. I thank her for her valuable views and participation.

Wow aiya, what a masterful response, pure truthful knowledge, for my soul anyway. 

“Agathiyar says there is no right or wrong. Neither does he differentiate or endorse the right from the wrong. We only have choices. We only know if we had made the right choice after seeing the results or outcome of our selection. It is we who determine if an action is right or wrong after going through or gaining the experience and learning a lesson from it. We become wiser from learning the lesson. This becomes a lesson to others then. People seek us out for advice for we have been there, have had the experience.” 

Absolutely, I see this now.  Essentially every offer, opportunity or test is tailored for an individual for subjective experience.  We may fail after making a choice or conversely we may succeed after making a choice.  However we decide if we had failed or succeeded, not him.  All he does is provide an opportunity to learn from (therefore no right or wrong). Unfortunately we are human and enslaved by earth bound maya, materialism, societal and various other norms.  The problem arises when we measure our experiences against these norms; we are almost certain to perceive failure or a choice as having gone wrong.

What about us who are hale and healthy and are in a position to help others? Should we look upon the sufferings of the others as his/her karma that he/she has to live out or choose to see the divine in others and go the extra mile to assist or bring a change as in their lives hence serving humanity? But being humans the ego in us wants to go into action, doing things that bring acclamation that the ego yearns and seeks. The inflated ego continuously seeks attention. Coming to the Siddhas, we see the ego break and crumble. We are continuously reminded to carry out good deeds without the sense of "I am the doer."  

While the sufferings of the others is indeed his/her karma that he/she has to live out, can we turn away from them.  They are already experiencing the wrath of their karma hence wherever we are on the siddha path we should have acquired some compassion to realise we have a responsibility to help, without any expectactations.  Pursuing charity with the expectation of advancing spiritually is also unhealthy and not the means for ideal attainment.  Charity should be pursued with “blinckers” on; where you continue to do it over and over, until you forget why you are doing it.  So, should some random person should ask “why do you do this work, all this charity, feeding, helping, giving etc”.  You may stop and think, then reply “I don’t know why I do it, I just know I do it and I want to do it”.  As one forgets why they do it, it gradually becomes a part of their DNA, a part of who they are (or become), there is no reason for “why”.  Perhaps this is when selflessness, true compassion and unconditional love rises up from the soul and squeezes out ego.

Agasthiyar may suggest various ways on how charity, service to humany or all other living beings should be supported.  I am inclined to think that should an individual execute his services honourably from within his capability, financial means, support mechanisms, other resources etc, however large or small, his/her efforts are deemed to be appreciated and accepted, not just by Agasthiyar but also by one’s soul.  Using one’s own initiative, creativity and insights in serving others is probably a good approach rather than being susceptible to a difficult test of some kind.  This does not guarantee that difficult tests will not come but when it knocks, the slightly more matured soul provides aid and insights  to resolve such difficulties. 

“Agathiyar casually hinted that he would present the gift of the Nadi to me to use for myself and read for others too. This gift comes at a time when I began to understand the subject and the web that is spun around this highly debated oracle, object, and subject. Do I need it I ask myself? Of what use would it be on my personal journey of unfoldment? No. I did not have a need for it. I told him that I did not want it. If I had coverted or desired for it Agathiyar would have placed it in my hands and I would have been tied down for the rest of my life. For if I had accepted my journey would have ended there. Word would go around and people would come by daily to have a reading. Although it can be considered as a service to others, I would be caught in the web that is spun.” 

And then there are gifts.

In response to my own question:“However how does one distinguish from what one can and should accept from him and that which is bound to set us back?” 

Shan aiya makes a bold decision and an informed choice.  It clearly  stems from an advanced level of self-realisation.  The gift of the nadi, the gift to heal, a bigger premises, the opportunity to lead … all very appealing, attractive, tempting, alluring.  One could readily accept the impressive offer of doing the work of the siddhas, serving the ones in need, making a difference, creating a virtuous path into the future for others but at what price?  The price would be determined subjectively by each individual.  Having insight into oneself advises what one is amenable to accept or compromise. I guess, the maturity of one’s soul alone would have the vision of a spinning web, covert spin of desire, a slippery slope,  subtle enticements. There is indeed no right or wrong.  The soul is unquestionably the teacher. If one is engaged in and living the 5 tenents of life purposefully and involved in various other self adopted services from inside and outside the soul and one’s only desire is the gift of  being given a space at his feet, the choice is obvious.  No questions, no judgements.  A very long journey ahead for me. 

I am explicitly no expert on the subject, however there are instances when one is able to discern the pros and cons (as opposed to right or wrong) of an opportunity.  In weighing these up, an informed choice or decision can be easily achieved.  Admittedly I have acquired some cheat tricks along the way to survive this tatical game.  If an opportunity is loaded around earthly trappings (again individual determinants), I walk away, I choose the path.  Would it be a lost opportunity?  Perhaps it would, however having to be on the ball in the daily match of tennis, is there any time to count losses? 

New experiences.  New experiences is a different kettle of fish.  Often they are spiked with karma, the kind one wishes to avoid but it finds one anyway.  Shan aiya advises, “do not sulk, do not regret, learn from it, move on”.  Brilliant advice.  However as human, as mere ignorant mortals I too have argued these challenges and tests.  We all struggle with some issues more than others. Some new experiences are easy to learn from and move on.  Then there are those which seek to rip out your soul and turn you into someone you will not recognise…. Literally I guess.  My truth is that I too,  have a reputation of not  coping well with some of these. 

Shan aiya provides my response: “Imagine if I had shoved aside Agathiyar's call to come to his path? Where would I be then?” 

Thank you Shan aiya, for answering my questions and provoking my thinking further.  We are blessed to have a source to turn to when we require guidance, clarity, insight etc. on our quest for gnana/enlightenment. On peering in from the outside the path smacks of joy, happiness, bliss, peacefulness, realisation.  Be not fooled, the path itself is not for the weak, delicate or faint hearted. 

My views above, are based on my limited knowledge and experience, please interpret them as such.

She says it beautifully that "The soul is unquestionably the teacher." Indeed it's true. Agathiyar always keeps telling us that he only sees the soul and not the body that is given identification papers, color, race, religion, etc. I remember many years back, on our outing to a small town a half-hour drive from Kulim, that is known to stock Tamil magazines and books. With the intent to scout around and purchase some good books, I took to the wheel while my nephew and his father accompanied. But it was a disappointing trip, or so we thought, for the shop did not carry them no more as the readership of these mags and books had dropped, they were not bringing in new titles. On the way back my nephew happens to point out to a side road ahead and mentioned that there was the Dhyana Ashram foundered and currently run by Swami Brahmananda Saraswathi, a student of Chinmaya Mission, India. He asks if we wanted to drop in as he had spent some time attending classes with them and knew the Swamiji. While his father chose to return, my hands automatically turned the wheels towards the side road and we found ourselves at the Ashram. My nephew went to look for the Swamiji asking us both to take a tour of the premises. As my brother-in-law and I entered the meditation hall, several large bronze statues caught my eye. Then it moved to a man clad in the traditional attire of a sadhu. He seemed to be circumambulating a shrine at the far end of the hall. On completion, he came towards us at the doorway. But as my brother-in-law moved away, I too followed him into another room. That is when my nephew informs us that Swamiji was waiting to see us. We spent some moments with Swami Brahmananda Saraswathi, before taking leave. Then my nephew rushes us to meet someone else telling me to fall at his feet the moment we see him. Surprisingly we come face to face with the sadhu who I saw earlier. I fell at his feet and stayed there. My nephew seemed to know him and spoke long with the sadhu only giving gestures. Finally, the sadhu told me to get up and gave me the sacred ash and a look that pierced me and went beyond. I have yet to meet someone with a similar powerful gaze. He took leave of us. My nephew then runs down the background of the sadhu. This was the second time he was meeting him, the first took place at the Sri Athi Bhagawathi Amman Thiruchalam, at Bukit Dumbar, Penang, managed by my nephew's Guru. It was then that he came to know of the Siddhis that the sadhu could perform. When I mentioned the unique and penetrating gaze of the sadhu, my nephew explained that he was scanning me looking at my soul.

These days when Agathiyar comes we realize that he too addresses the individual's soul and puts questions to the soul rather than take the word or wishes of the individual with a name and face who stands before him. Amazing. Having Agathiyar around is like having a personal coach train us. When I ask to leave, preferring to provide the space and a moment of privacy between the seeker or devotee and Agathiyar, he calls me to stay and sit beside him. Finally, he explains the reason too, telling me that I need to witness and learn from others' experiences. Here I saw how he dealt so professionally with individuals, listening to them and then questioning their soul if that is what it wanted. In these moments I began to realize that what we wanted as an individual need not necessarily be what our soul wanted. He speaks to the soul.

He tells us that diving within in meditation we too can meet and speak to our soul. That is the day we would actually come to know the true purpose of us (the soul and not Shanmugam Avadaiyapa) taking this birth. If we generally go for a Nadi reading to know about our past karma, Tavayogi once told me that through meditation you can come to know what you had done in the past births. When we seek the Nadi, Agathiyar addresses the individual seated before him who carries a unique thumbprint, a name, a face, and a past. He reveals his story. But when he comes personally, he sets aside the individual, scans the soul and speaks to it, getting the true picture, for the soul is covered and veiled by the many apparels we have created for ourselves. He sees through the guise. He sees the genuine and not the pretense or adulterated version.

When Agathiyar dished out remedies to the next of kin of one whose life was slipping away, he reminded them to inform the dying soul to keep up its spirit too. After performing all that was asked of Agathiyar, yet the man died. Close relatives chided and spoke ill of Agathiyar and the devotee who took up the dying man's case with Agathiyar. They hurt his feeling saying that it was a waste of time and energy in carrying out the complicated parikaram. They sarcastically told him to put his life to better use rather than run after Agathiyar. Never is there a Nadi reading for a dead man but there was an exception here. The devotee was called up for a reading. In it, Agathiyar questions him, "What am I suppose to do? You had carried out all the parikara faithfully but that soul had given up on life!" Agathiyar makes a pertinent point here. Do not ask to save another life just because of the relationship and bond that we carry and because we care. Ascertain first if that soul wants to continue living! I receive numerous calls and messages asking to pray from fellow devotees. Most of the time I do not even know them or their history. I am only told that they are a relative or a friend or someone they know. These days I even receive forwarded messages on social media that are circulated, calling for prayers to save individuals. 

Ruzbeh N Bharucha in his blog and writings sheds some light to this mystery at https://www.speakingtree.in/blog/the-master-s-grace

Yes, the laws of karma are rigid and the cards are dealt without emotion. What one has sowed, one shall reap. The experience shall be gone through. There is no escaping this fact. And yet throughout the ages, through time, Sages, mystics, Sufis, the Holy Scriptures, all proclaim that The Master is Merciful. On one hand we have the unyielding laws of cause and effect. On the other hand we have the mercy and tenderness of The Master.

When a sibling of a mother pleaded to him to save her sister's son, Ma came to remind us that Agathiyar went the extra mile to amend the fate of a dying child for his devotee. But he made it known that it came with numerous risks. Only after forewarning and getting the approval of the next of kin of the affected party, did he roll the dice, just as the doctors warn us of the risks involved in any major operation. 

Ruzbeh says that "They are so merciful that our Masters seek no credit for the innumerable times when They have protected us from our own karma, our own stupidities and that of the world." And so it was that the master came for his students, disciples, and devotees. 

As Ruzbeh says, ".. the Perfect Master, like our Baba Sai, who can stand between us and our own karma and work things out in the best way S(H)e feels is right and appropriate for the wellbeing of the disciple and devotee", Agathiyar only after careful consideration decided to interfere in the laws of karma and deal the cards. The master might not grant or deliver what we ask for at times if it would hurt us further. He would rather see us suffer in pain a few days rather than have us suffer life long. But our greatest setback is our hold on the relationship with the world and the bond it creates.

He narrates a story where Shridi Sai tells a disciple the reason he refused to help revive the dead child of a lady. The soul had already taken birth elsewhere. If he brings it back to life, imagine the catastrophe that would unwind as a result. The parents of the newborn child will be devastated! 

Be careful in what we want for another. Let the aged and sick individual decide whether he or she wants to prolong their life (and suffering). Most of the time the concerned party will not be aware of what its soul actually desires. Neither will we - the next of kin.

To a question, "For example ...You mentioned, The mediumship to the Nadi; mediumship to healing...did he approach it as an offer or a fulfillment of purpose or an instruction? Can one decline and how?", I declined and he accepted my stand, to a certain degree.

He decides what we should do if it serves a bigger purpose that only he knows. He never brought up the subject of the Nadi as a gift again. But the healing continues with the Siddhas coming to attend to the need of the devotee and the need of the moment. For instance, I was cured of my back pain by Lord Murugan with a peacock feather and recital of the Arutperunjhoti Maha mantra, simultaneous while the Nadi was read. In another instance, Dhavantri healed my ailing back by applying the sacred ash. Agathiyar personally healed another two devotees, ridding the back pain with the sacred ash and healing a torn ligament, calling for us to bring several ingredients from our grounds and pounding it himself to make a poultice respectively. This reminds me of the story told by Agathiyar in the Nadi to the late Hanumathdasan Aiya of how a Siddha prepared a medicine to help regain a child her diminishing sight relief the stomach pain of her mother in the jungles of Kollimalai. He had them sit outside his hut while he prepared the medicines. On their next visit, there was neither his hut nor him and nobody remembered seeing him. A Siddha in our early days of devotion to them brought a family together, ridding the cause of their problems. In these instances, they tell us that they have a task to attend to, and want us to step aside and watch as they go about doing these siddhis. We took heed of the instruction and gave way for the divine to carry out its miracles and lila.

Jnana Jhotiamma was relieved of her pain in her legs as she came down the steps to Palani by a young lad who drew out a tiny vel and massaged her feet with it. Who else could that be if not Lord Muruga, she thought as he raced up the flight of steps just as fast as he came down? The Tamil movie Seedan beautifully depicts the story of how Lord Murugan comes in present times answering the call of his devotee, serves her and finally vanishes into thin air, on the steps of his temple in Palani, bringing the devotee to realize that he had come and stayed with them all this while.  This is the magic of the Siddhas.

TO ACCEPT OR DECLINE?

A dear friend from the African continent on reading my last post messaged me asking some pertinent questions.

Quick question aiya....you mentioned his tests and how he sometimes slides  an attractive gift or offer in... I experienced it too but it was easy to see the lure.

However how does one distinguish from what one can and should accept from him and that which is bound to set us back? 

For example ...You mentioned, The mediumship to the Nadi; mediumship to healing...did he approach it as an offer or an fulfillment of purpose or an instruction?

Can one decline and how?

Hence in serving him how does one choose or decide which offers of work to accept in serving humanity or others without compromising one's already fragile growth on the path...

All the doubts and queries she raises are true and make sense.

Agathiyar says there is no right or wrong. Neither does he differentiate or endorse the right from the wrong. We only have choices. We only know if we had made the right choice after seeing the results or outcome of our selection. It is we who determine if an action is right or wrong after going through or gaining the experience and learning a lesson from it. We become wiser from learning the lesson. This becomes a lesson to others then. People seek us out for advice for we have been there, have had the experience.

It is really really difficult to see through his game. We are told repetitively that it is all his game, play or lila. Should we then step back and just watch, submit to him, surrender to him, and leave things as it is? That would mean accepting one's karma and living with it. Or should we look for ways to come out of the predicament by placing a concerted effort in reversing the situation? When I ask him to take care of the prapanjam or matrix and all that belongs in it, he tells me karma and the concerted efforts of ours shall determine the future of it. 

What about us who are hale and healthy and are in a position to help others? Should we look upon the sufferings of the others as his/her karma that he/she has to live out or choose to see the divine in others and go the extra mile to assist or bring a change as in their lives hence serving humanity? But being humans the ego in us wants to go into action, doing things that bring acclamation that the ego yearns and seeks. The inflated ego continuously seeks attention. Coming to the Siddhas, we see the ego break and crumble. We are continuously reminded to carry out good deeds without the sense of "I am the doer." 

Imagine if I had shoved aside Agathiyar's call to come to his path? Where would I be then? I had a choice that day when he came through my Nadi. I used my free will to make a decision and make a choice. I chose to follow him. I accepted to go his way because I did not have any idea or previous knowledge or experience about it. It was something entirely new to me, although these days he says that it was because we had worked on it in our past lives. I did not have a reference point or a yardstick to gauge if traveling the path would assist or hinder my existence. Neither did Agathiyar promise heaven and earth. I simply took the plunge, not knowing the consequences. I depended entirely on guidance from him and other upagurus whom he sent my way. I worked on my karma that was revealed by him by going on a pilgrimage and carrying out remedies and atonements, thus serving to free me from my past baggage, setting my personal being and individual self free. I took up the numerous tasks given by both Tavayogi and Agathiyar, which made me come out of my individual selfish self and brought me to play my part or role towards contributing to healing the prapanjam or matrix and in serving humanity. It was giving back to nature in a sense, after having taken from it and lived on it. After 17 years, I believe strongly that it was right of me to heed his call and follow him because I am seeing the results of my decision made that day. All my efforts besides bringing joy in me served to uplift others. But I have to remind myself always that those actions I executed were on Agathiyar's behalf using us as a tool, instrument, medium or vessel. I was and am not bonded in any way to my actions. I did them because it was required of me. I moved on after accomplishing them. I did not wait to look for appraisals, gifts or recognition in the society. Nobody I helped is obliged to me and neither am I obliged to them. There is no repayment in this sense that warrants another birth.

When after three years I had my second reading done, Agathiyar asks that I see Tavayogi immediately and receive an initiation the same night. Again I had a choice. I took the jump. I headed for the Peedham where Tavayogi was housed during his visit to Malaysia and received an initiation without knowing what I was stepping into. If I had brushed it aside, pondered over it for days or postponed seeing him, where would I be?  Having made a choice and seeing its results unfold, I believe that it was right of me to heed his call and get initiated, (although a second time) from Tavayogi without questioning him. Taking Agathiyar's hand brought me to a whole new world and a whole new perspective and understanding. Taking Tavayogi's hand brought me to learn the intricacies of the path that unfolded before me. Taking Supramania Swami's hand taught me to be an obedient servant of the Guru. Traveling with them brought me unique experiences that can never be bought or attained elsewhere. There were numerous lessons that these experiences taught to me, which prepared me for my inner journey.  

Having traveled for some time, Agathiyar casually hinted that he would present the gift of the Nadi to me to use for myself and read for others too. This gift comes at a time when I began to understand the subject and the web that is spun around this highly debated oracle, object, and subject. Do I need it I ask myself? Of what use would it be on my personal journey of unfoldment? No. I did not have a need for it. I told him that I did not want it. If I had coverted or desired for it Agathiyar would have placed it in my hands and I would have been tied down for the rest of my life. For if I had accepted my journey would have ended there. Word would go around and people would come by daily to have a reading. Although it can be considered as a service to others, I would be caught in the web that is spun. 

Then he came to heal others through me. I asked myself if I wanted that too? No. My wife and I did not desire that too. This came at a time when we knew pretty well the consequences of taking on this responsibility. Again we would be chained for life. For if I had given in to it, people hearing about this Siddhi would convene at my premise to be healed. I would be stuck there, with no means to escape from yet another web, although again it can be considered as a service to others.

Then he asks that we move to a larger premise. We refused to budge for all was fine as it was. My family and I engaged in the worship of the Siddhas in our home. Occasionally the crowd gathers to pay homage to him in our home. We are not obliged to others to open up our home. We can leave on a vacation anytime, without worrying or appointing a caretaker during our absence. We were not tied down to commitments towards the devotees. It was an ideal and practical solution. We refused to bring ourselves to commit to run an ashram, peedham, temple or otherwise since now we have had gathered numerous lessons from other's experiences in running these establishments.

I knew pretty well that I was not cut to lead an organization. Neither was I the candidate to sit at the front desk. I can never stomach nonsense. I blow my top. I can perform well behind the screen though. Knowing myself well, I turned down all the goodies and offers that Agathiyar shoved in my face. Instead, I sought out ways of uplighting the soul. So to answer the reader's question, "However, how does one distinguish from what one can and should accept from him and that which is bound to set us back? Can one decline and how? Hence in serving him how does one choose or decide which offers of work to accept in serving humanity or others without compromising one's already fragile growth on the path..." if you have had prior experience in the subject and knowledge of the pros and cons of it, deliberate carefully before you venture. Your past experiences shall be your teacher. Never let others decide your destiny, although you can listen out to their wisdom. What worked for them need not necessarily work for you. If you have no prior experience with the subject, take the dive and learn something new for yourself. That experience and the lesson gained from it shall enhance your life, soul, and spirit. If you have a failed relationship, don't sulk over it. Take on the experience and its lessons and move on.  If you business fails. Do not regret the decisions you made. Take on the experience and its lessons and move on. Pardon me if I am wrong. Of course, you are going to quote Agathiyar that there is no right or wrong.

As to the question "Can one decline and how?", I have declined to follow many directives of Agathiyar not because I was arrogant and did not respect him but I had caught hold of his feet so tight that I did not permit anybody else to come in between us.

Initially, I followed all his dictates as I was new and discovering his path, I traveled to all the places he mentioned in the Nadi. But after he introduced me to Supramania Swami and Tavayogi and took me under his fold, I did not see the necessity to pursue his asking me to meet several other gurus and to go more places. I had arrived home. My search had stopped. I was contented with having him and both my gurus in physical form. He too stopped asking me to meet others and go places after that. Ramalinga Adigal acknowledged my hold on him recently, complementing my stand and asks that I continue holding on to his feet. What a blessing!

Agathiyar gave us his 5 tenets for life and living it purposefully. We are grateful to him for we had unknowingly engaged in all the tenets mentioned in it. Then he tells us that we have to move on again. It is not a life long venture but one that we need to know and carry out before moving further upstream. Life is all about learning anew new things and gaining experiences. These become lessons that fruit into wisdom. Having gained these experiences and the lessons that came with it, it was now time to move into another phase of life, settling down in quiet contemplation on the self - the self within us. Rather than have the divine judge us on judgment day, we run through our life in solidarity and analyze the right and wrong, learn the lessons, ask for forgiveness if the need be, and prepare to leave this mortal frame in peace without any attachment to our actions, deeds, and its merits. Once the turbid waters reside, and the pond is still, it is said that our Atma or soul comes forth and begins to speak to us. This internal journey shall eventually bring us face to face with the divine who comes to appear before us and makes known our life's purpose to us, the true purpose of each individual soul. This is true Gnana or enlightenment says Agathiyar. Rebirth takes place not after we die but in this very birth itself. A Gnani is born. 

TELLING A STORY

As there are plot twists in movies or novels, so too there were many interesting twists to my story.

If originally Agathiyar wanted to go to the Jegathguru Sri Raghavendra Mrithiga Brindavanam in Ipoh and had me commission his statue from Swamimalai, he changed his mind after seeing our devotion to him during the prayers to his statue in our home, while waiting for the Brindavanam to be completed. My destiny changed the moment he moved into my home in the form of this statue, purportedly said to be in transit while awaiting the completion of the Brindavanam.

In the very first Nadi reading, Agathiyar had hinted that he wanted a temple built. As I was fresh, enthusiastic and eager to carry out his wishes, I scouted around existing temples in my vicinity to see if the temple committee could provide a space for Agathiyar to take abode. But none of the committees pleased me. I let it be.

Several twists to my destiny came as I traveled on my maiden flight to India, to perform a pilgrimage of temples, a long list, listed by Agathiyar in my Nadi. Together with this list, came a message that I would meet my Guru. No name, place nor moment was mentioned. After circumambulating the Holy mountain of Arunachala, and having some free time before continuing to Chennai the next morning to board my flight back to Malaysia, I recalled my wife's wish to have a horoscope drawn up for our younger daughter in India. She was a catalyst that initiated a chain of events. Raji, the driver appointed to fetch me at Chennai airport took ill suddenly and was replaced by Deventhiran. When I told Deva my wife's wish, he replied "Why wait till we reach Chennai when my uncle, also an astrologer, is just minutes away, living in his village some 8 kilometers from Thiruvannamalai town center." My fate was rewritten that day. A new destiny dawned as I left Supramania Swami's humble cottage having spent some awesome 5 hours with him. He was the Guru Agathiyar had mentioned.

After meeting my very first guru Supramania Swami in Tiruvannamalai, and staying in correspondence through the snail mail and STD booths, he mooted the idea to build a temple for Lord Murugan. We gave support and assistance. But there came a twist to this venture too when one day a stranger stood at the confluence of the road opposite his newly built kudil and called out to him. He reprehended Swami for going ahead with building the temple asking him why he was taking a step back, stepping from Gnana to Bakti. Swami dropped the 40-year desire that he carried in him that day. That day his deep-rooted vasana was erased.

When Thai Veedu Thangarasan M.A. scouted the length and breadth of India for the place indicated to him to set up an Ashram by Agathiyar, he located Agathiyar Vanam in the foothills of Kallaru. A leaflet indicating his intention was passed to me by the Nadi reader Sentilkumar after my very first Nadi reading in 2002 in Malaysia. I kept it with me. In 2005, I come across an advert in a Tamil daily, announcing the opening of the Agathiyar Gnana Peedham in Malaysia that would be officiated by Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram. I made my way to the establishment and met him. We became acquainted and I took up his invitation to visit his Ashram. Just before he ended his visit, Agathiyar through my second Nadi reading that came after a 3-year gap, instructed me to take initiation from Tavayogi the same night. This surprised both Tavayogi and me because I had already received it the day I met him for the first time, together with several others. Nevertheless, Tavayogi initiated me again, heeding the words of Agathiyar. That was another twist. My destiny changed again that night. After the initiation, the earlier Nadi reading was erased mysteriously and in a re-reading, the local chapter of his affiliate Peedham which I was to frequent and learn further about the Siddhas was not mentioned anymore. I came under the direct purview of my Guru Tavayogi.

A month after his departure I find myself standing at his Ashram door. I am ushered into his arms and into his heart. I am taken in as his disciple. We took a dip in the stream that flowed near his ashram; took a long walk over the hills and dales and found ourselves in the caves of Uthiyur; we traveled to Ooty where Tavayogi showed me to Sargurunathar's Ashram, another belonging to his follower disciple in Kasolai, a temple managed by a Swamiji and finally, a lone Swamiji, curdle in a corner of a large mansion in thick blankets, protecting himself from the cold of Nilgiri hills and the monsoon rain that poured outside. Our travels took us further into the Western Ghats, supposedly older than the Himalayas, according to UNESCO, Agathiyar Falls in Kalyana Theertham, the caves of neighboring Kutrallam and the temples of Papanasam. He brought me to Agasthiyampalli, Tanjavur, and Palani. These were places that Tavayogi had spent meditating during his sojourn while roaming India as a mendicant. I had my very first stay and experience of life in an Ashram, his Kallar Ashram, and that of sleeping in the caves, experiences that would never have come my way if I had not met Tavayogi and if he had not taken me under his wings and if Agathiyar did not bring about the twist in the plot. When Tavayogi shifted to his new Ashram grounds, I thought Agathiyar's wish to see a temple built for him was fulfilled. But it was not to be so, as a twist awaited me again.

From an individual's home prayer, Agathiyar made me open the doors to my home to strangers whom he directed to my home for his Pournami Puja. We soon became a family. My home took a new name Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM). When Tavayogi initiated me to carry out the Homam, and later to carry out the Jayanthi celebrations for Agathiyar, simultaneously conducted by him at his Kallar Ashram, the home took on a mode of festivities will devotees of his spilling to the grounds of the home, trying to catch a glimpse of the rituals. Then another twist to the tale unfolded. Lord Muruga told me that I had to move house. But I was very much contented with what I had and with my personal and individual prayers, occasionally playing host to a small group of devotees of Agathiyar. I never wanted to start a Peedham, Ashram, organization or society, even when Tavayogi went around officiating many affiliated branches of his Kallar Peedham in Malaysia. Then Lord Muruga sends his dearest disciple Agathiyar over to convince me to come to terms. Agathiyar explained to me the reason and need to move. My present house and premises were too small to host the crowd that he was to send over for his Vizha or Puja. As I did not move nor make a bid or an effort, Agathiyar offered to undertake. Here comes another interesting twist to the plot. When the said and given duration was nearing fast, coming to an end, he tells me that it was not necessary. I could stay put. Upon further enquiring, he tells me that it was a proposal put forth just to test me to see if I fell for his game. I must thank my lucky stars for not falling into his trap. I suppose deep, deep in the recesses of my heart and memory was a vasana or desire engrained that needed to see the light of the day. Hence the reason for the subject of erecting a temple arises again and again. But finally, it has been put to rest. For he decided to have me walk the path alone, taking a journey within. He had me closed the Whatsapp groups and leave others too. He has me confined within the four walls of his room, asking me to go within now. He comes to guide. He comes to stay longer. He comes to monitor our progress. 

Just as we come across rows and rows of shops selling all kinds of wares that make us take a second look, stop and contemplate on buying them, walking down the path with Agathiyar saw him draw out gifts and presents that he offered for the taking. The mediumship to the Nadi; mediumship to healing; authority and power, all was for grabs. But I played it safe. I turned them all down. I was cautious about accepting the numerous gifts he presented at the end of our mission or assignment. I did not want things that are prone to change, and perishable and that which builds the ego in us. I only wanted what was nonperishable and permanent. Finally, he gave himself as revealed by Ramalinga Adigal recently.

I was always curious to know why Agathiyar whenever he asks for a song, his favorite would be on Lord Narayana, he also asks a song of Vallal (Vallalar or Ramalinga Adigal) too, usually his Vennilaa Kanni "Thannai Arinthu Inbamura Vennilaave". Finally, he revealed that Ramalinga Adigal is always with him, traveling wherever he goes. This news brings me to the days of travel of Jnana Jhothiamma who became acquainted with Vengadesh Swami who cared for the needs of Krishnaveni Amma of Kalyana Theertam. According to Vengadesh Swami, Krishnaveni Amma used to have visitations from Lord Muruga and Agathiyar. Whenever Agathiyar comes, Shridi Sai Baba follows him too.

Tavayogi who told me at the start of this memorable journey, that one had to serve the guru some long 12 years before he can expect the grace of his guru, also told us that we had somehow come to the fold and caught hold of Agathiyar, pretty easily, while recalling his journey, where he had to travel the long painful journey as a mendicant searching, looking, finding and finally attaining his grace. Ramalinga Adigal told my 2 1/2-year-old granddaughter that he had to spend 12 long years in tapas to attain Agathiyar while she has come to his fold at such a young age. What did we do to gain his blessings and grace? Nothing significant. Nothing prominent. Nothing worth mentioning. But yet he has come as a savior, showing us the way to salvation, to save the soul from taking birth upon birth.

We are indeed indebted to him lifelong. I can never repay the blessings and compassion showered on us by Agathiyar. He came into our lives and has brought many twists to our story, which otherwise would be rather mundane. Now we have many stories to tell. In the 17 years of worship to him, learning many lessons through experiences he gave, we have come to accept that he is in charge. All that we can do is show our devotion and serve him. The least we can do is show our devotion and serve him. The least we can do is to talk about and share his marvels. This is the least form of appreciation and gratitude one can possibly return for all he has showered on us. I am truly indebted to Supramania Swami for offering the merits of his 40 year tapas which skyrocketed my journey lifting me from the depths of the snake and ladder game to a somewhat higher placement. I am indebted to Tavayogi for his silent teachings that came in the form of an adventure rather than tutorials and lectures, lessons that have sunk deep into the crevices of my mind and body.

Have you a story to tell? Message me your e-mail address in the comments section and we can get connected.

THE CATALYST

Many have written to me telling me that they happened to come across this blog which started off their journey and travels seeking the Siddhas. Similarly, I am obliged to Velayutham Karthikeyan Aiya and his blog Siththan Arul at http://siththanarul.blogspot.com, which changed the perspective that we had on the Siddhas. Just as Suren who is currently at work in Indonesia, said moments ago over the phone, we agreed that prior to the revelations of the famed Nadi Reader of Chennai, the late Hanumathdasan Aiya, which his buddy Velayutham Karthikeyan Aiya carried in its entirety, we only knew very little of Agathiyar mostly as depicted in the Tamil movies. The layman like us could hardly comprehend the songs of the Siddhas much less adopt what was said. But the most compassionate Agathiyar came to our aid, using Hanumathdasan and the Nadi to guide people. Many secrets were revealed along the way. I am thankful to both these gentlemen for bringing forth and making public the many episodes from the lives of simple folks like us who having exhausted all means to survival and disease, stood at the doorstep of the Nadi reader.

Read about these miraculous stories that Sitthan Arul carried, which I had the privilege to translate in my book Fire of Devotion", available for download at https://drive.google.com/file/d/1jCMasLnaBpZi4QsLsbBVADZziqDOU6He/view?usp=sharing, and carried on my blog too, having gained prior consent from Velayutham Karthikeyan Aiya.

Jnana Jhoti Amma purchased the full set of books published by one Shankar Aiya, that I requested for, and did meet the publisher too. These stories were like energy boosters for us who were then searching to know the Siddhas. Today we can safely say that we too have a fair share of stories and miracles that we could share with others seeking to know. Most of it is carried in these pages. Several others are kept under tight wrap till the green light is given by Agathiyar.

MOVING ON

If prior to coming to his path we were devotees who frequented the temples asking favors of the deities, having invited us to his path, Agathiyar showed us another facet of worship and devotion. He threw in a couple of gurus and several upagurus, by which we explored the teachings of the Siddhas and their past including their abodes and dwellings. Having explored the outside world, Lord Muruga, Agathiyar, Ramalinga Adigal, and the Siddhas have brought us to explore within. 

What started off as solo worship of the Siddhas in my home, soon included the family members. Later Agathiyar introduced me to new seekers whom he sent over to my home. For ease of identification and sharing locations, I coined the name Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) for my home taking after the location and spot where Tavayogi was asked to set up his ashram after he ended his life of a mendicant, scouting the length and breadth of India. With regular puja that included the ritual of lighting the sacrificial fire or homa, Agathiyar came for brief moments, first through his painting, then a bronze statue that he had directed me to have commissioned and done in Swamimalai. Soon he endorsed the name as Vanam too. When he starts to spend hours of deep contemplation in the small room that we had allocated to him, taking abode in our home, he christens his newfound home as Gnana Kottam. With further devotion and prayers to him, he brings his colleagues from his school of Siddhas along too. He then brings his guru Lord Muruga too who confers on our home a new name Agathiyar Tapovanam. 

It was obvious that Agathiyar and Lord Muruga were strengthening the home into a fortress, bringing in many newfound seekers to our shores in worship to the Siddhas. To keep the new seekers notified of the puja we started a Whatsapp group Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM). With rituals and devotion established firmly, taking place every Thursday, every Fullmoon and New Moon days with puja thrown in on all the auspicious days of all the deities, Agathiyar figured it was then time for us to bring balance to this regime that we held steadfast to. He threw in Dhanam, asking us to do charity. For the purpose of posting schedules of our gatherings to carry out charity, we started the Whatapp group Amudha Surabhi (AS). Seeing good response and funds towards our effort in feeding the hungry on the streets, providing groceries to old folks and children homes, and other poor families, we registered our group as Persatuan Teman Setia (PTS). 

Agathiyar then enlightened us on the existence of his speech at the Tamil Sangam where he had put forth the purpose in mankind taking birth. To our joy and amazement, we discovered that we were already engaged in and carrying out faithfully the 5 tenets he had spelled out in the days of the Sangam. Thus he endorsed all our good actions through this paper submitted at the meet. Besides that, he regularly kept our spirits up through his numerous Aasi Nadi readings, endorsing further the direction we were taking and the efforts placed towards it. 

If before coming to the Siddhas we only looked towards God in the skies, having been told that God resided in the heavens, and peered through the darkness or trying to sight him among the elaborate garlands, dressing, and jewelry that are adorned on his/her statue at the temples, Agathiyar came down from his abode in Pothigai and began to show his presence in numerous ways, bridging the gap that existed all this while. Agathiyar opened his eyes in his bronze statue in our home just as he had opened his eyes in the age-old granite statues at Agasthiyampalli and Papanasam. As my wife says we had paved a bridge connecting the realm of the Siddhas with us with our devotion and prayer, the Siddhas, in turn, bridged the gap between us and the Gods bringing them within our homes too. Soon they showed us their co-existence with us in this physical plane, through numerous miracles and darshans through others. From speaking through an interpreter via their Nadi, speaking through gurus and upagurus, they came through our comrades. Having had a successful tenure and memorable time in complying with the dictates of Agathiyar; working to build on our stock of merits so that we could offset our karma; and bridging the gap between both worlds, soon it was time for us to go solo on this journey and begin the journey and travel within. 

By the touch of a button or rather a tedious act of having to remove each telephone number of the members from the Whatsapp group, Agathiyar brought down the very establishment he had helped build. Many were shocked that they were removed from both AVM and AS and came up with numerous theories. But they never realized that what was made redundant was only a group on paper or in digital form for that matter. We are still around and accessible and can be contacted through other means. All things having said, it was now a journey of discovery within, which is the true meaning and state of Gnana, as Agathiyar clarified later. Each man was on his own now, on his own turf, with his guru Agathiyar. The association and organization cannot possibly go beyond this nor take us beyond this. The Lone Ranger who dares to pursuit further shall be met by Agathiyar and taken within. 

After closing the groups I felt relieved of a burden and responsibility and was overjoyed because I was able to bring myself to press the button of destruction. Even God who creates and sustains his creation shall have to destroy his beautiful, magical and miraculous creation. This is akin to the Buddhists who painfully draw up the mandala, taking hours and finally, after a prayer, destroy their beautiful creation, reminding themselves and others that nothing is here to stay forever. I felt proud that I had passed the test. But before I could take credit for it and build on my already BIG ego; if I thought that it was a timely move to dissolve the groups, for we had just transited to the newly registered PTS, Agathiyar took credit to dissolving the groups. He made me realize that I was only the tool that took credit for good deeds and took the blame too if I let others down. I realized that it was all his lila or play and we had to go with the flow. 

These days, Agathiyar keeps harping on the same note each time he meets us. Go within he says. Ramalinga Adigal too says the same. Lord Muruga commands us to do the same too. Agathiyar tells us to move on and not get stagnated in the daily chores and tasks taken up or given to us. All these are given to us to provide relevant experiences. Once the experience has been had and a lesson gained from it we need to move on. Sadly what we do is recall, and relive the tragedy and sad memories, of these bitter experiences. We should choose to see the happy moments that we have had in the company and association with others rather than hold on to grudges or fret our relationships that had turned sour. On the other hand, having had pleasant experiences, what we do is to remain behind to adore the recognition, prized gifts, and rewards given for our service. Agathiyar, Ramalinga Adigal, and Lord Muruga ask us to open up our hearts to newer things. Hope, belief, faith, perseverance, and patience are the keywords here. We are asks to adhere to these key values in our travel seeking him. Removing first the past karma or relieving the baggage that we have brought along on this journey from the past travels and having picked up additional baggage in this life too, when we stand naked before him, stripped of all ownership to things and doings, only then shall he provide for us. Only when we lose our identity, he gives us a new face and a new name. We then become his spokesman, messenger, and secretary. In return, he comes as father, mother, guide, guru, upaguru, companion, and as signages, and as our thought, and in our actions. We are asked to lose ourselves in the bliss that results in his company. 

Hence thinking of pursuing their wishes, I decided to go into solitude. I informed the family and close associates, uninstalled Whatapp and even told those handfuls who frequented my home for prayers, to henceforth carry them out in their homes. Three days into my solitude, Agathiyar tells me not to further the venture now as his Vizha was around the corner and that there were seekers who he needed to see. He added that he shall tell me when the time is right. Although he reminded me to restrict or stop unnecessary communion with others, he reminded me not to shut the door to my home. 

Subsequently, I stepped out of PTS too, relieving myself of all association to social bodies and social media except blogging. He told me that he made me leave all the groups for I had now to work on my individual salvation. There were many a time when I told myself that I shall place my pen down, he made me realize that he wants me to be his messenger in dispersing his thoughts via this blog. Even I am surprised by the contents of these posts, ending up reading and rereading them again and again, trying to comprehend the teachings that he subtly has woven in my life and that of others. 

Today I tend to love him more and more, day by day. True to what has been told by tradition, God comes in a Godly form, residing in a place allocated to him, usually a temple, where devotees come together as servants to serve and pray, asking for their needs to be fulfilled. Moving from Sariyai, with the coming of a God as Guru, we are introduced to rituals and acts of dharma, serving God as his son or daughter. The Guru then takes us on to the next stage of Yoga, where God as Guru and we are companions. The Guru prepares us for the inner journey, cleansing us both bodily and in mind, preparing and strengthening the vessel for an inner and most powerful journey. If all these while God took a form, going within we encounter the formless God. We have reached our destination. We have come to know the reason for taking birth. Some might be given missions to carry out further. Others might not.

I do not know what is in store for me. I cannot see what is behind the bend or corner. But I have faith in him and his words. I know he will be there for me if I slip and fell or if I lost my way. For now, I shall further follow his dictates. He has put me on a strict daily regime of cleansing my body internally, through a magic portion and certain Yogic practices. Hence explaining my inability to move out of the home, unless absolutely necessary. Also, it explains my reluctance in having visitors to my home. If Agathiyar permits to share this journey within, I shall most gladly post in on this blog.

At this juncture, I take the opportunity to thank my wife who willingly followed my path that was Agathiyar's too, bringing the children along too. She complied with all things said and asked, at times demanded upon her too, without refusal or hesitation. During the days of my reading the books and later from the net, on Siddha medicine and trying to live the way, she would cook up or prepare whatever that was good that I picked from these pages. She was there for me during the times of inner cleansing that led to extensive vomiting and purging. She is a good companion on this journey that neither of us can foresee its results. Only Agathiyar knows and he keeps it close to his heart, lest we get excited and let go of his hand or choose to walk out in fear.

The journey thus far has been unique and customized to my needs. It is purely and solely my experience, with condiments and ingredients added on for flavor from the masters' words and the many other experiences shared by fellow comrades on the path. No one can deny that. It is time you started your own journey too.

THE SIDDHAS PREDICTIONS

When one goes for a Nadi reading, he must understand that what is being said to take place is right for the moment and immediate execution. If he decides to postpone, holdback, verify with others etc and delays the execution of the action, it won't materialize as said, or could be delayed with many obstacles placed in place. Agathiyar says the actions taken at the moment of tasking ends in success; all else will only bring disappointment. I was also made aware of this truth only recently. I too learned a bitter lesson from experience.

Agathiyar dictated me to have his statue, a replica of the very first statue made and worshipped by Kuberan at Agasthiyampalli at the start of Kali Yuga, as revealed by Agathiyar to Dr. VN Jayapalan of Bangalore in his meditation. I proceeded with Varadaraj of the Bronze Creative, based in Swamimalai, to have him travel to the temple on the eastern coastline of Tamilnadu and view for himself the idol he was to make. Agathiyar in the Nadi had stipulated many conditions towards making his statue including asking us to start the noble task in the Tamil month of Thai or Maasi, or February or March of 2009, as it would be very auspicious. Today I understand that the planetary positions and all things related to it were conducive for the start of this venture at that period of time, hence the reason for Agathiyar to direct us. But since Agathiyar had originally stated that he was going to be placed in the Sri Jegathguru Raghavendra Mrithiga Brindavanam in Ipoh, a couple of friends questioned me as to why hurry in having his statue made since the Brindavan was still under construction. Although they had good intentions, when I listened and took their advice and furthered it to Varadaraj asking him to hold the making of Agathiyar's statue, I had unknowingly defied the divine's desire and wish. I had to face the consequences of interfering as I was soon to find out.

The opening of the Brindavanam was delayed and postponed several times without any indication when it would be opened to the public. As we waited for the management to sort several teething matters and announce the date of opening of the Brindavanam, we had now moved into the month of September of 2009. I then decided that I should not wait any further and requested Varadaraj to continue and complete the statue, as it was tasked to me and I had an obligation to him to deliver his directive. I requested that Varadaraj have Agathiyar shipped in time for his annual Jayanthi celebrations that was to take place on 3rd January of 2010. Varadaraj completed the job and had a puja performed at the Adhi Kumbeswar temple in Kumbakonam as directed by Agathiyar. While awaiting shipping formalities to clear at Chennai port, we began to stumble upon several unanticipated obstacles. What was a simple and clear procedure saw hitches. As there were many cases of temple statues being carted away and illegally sold overseas, there was a new requirement that came into force just then. We required the Department of Archeology to certify that our statue was a newly made one. As it was year-end then, many officials and signatories were on leave. As there were many religious festivities then, we encountered numerous public holidays during this period. On the 1st of January, at 7pm, Varadaraj called me and passed me both the good and the bad news. The good news was that the certification had been acquired and Agathiyar was cleared to leave for Malaysia. The bad news was that there was no way that Agathiyar would arrive on our shores in time for his puja. Even if he was to take a flight he would only arrive a day later on Monday. My heart rose and sank immediately. I begged Varadaraj to try his level best. Miraculously at 9.30pm, he calls me to say that Agathiyar had boarded the plane and I could claim him in Malaysia the next morning. He told me that he would email me the delivery order. I waited, checking my mailbox throughout the night and the following morning but it was not there. Checking with Varadaraj, I was given another disappointing news. The net was down and the mail could not be delivered. As it was a Saturday, and fearing that the cargo section at the airport might work only half a day, I was not sure if I could get delivery of him that afternoon. Just then Nadi Nool Aasan T.Ramesh called me informing that Agathiyar had a message in the Nadi. I rushed to see him at 12 noon. Agathiyar assured me that he would be there for the puja. True enough as I returned home and checked my mailbox, the delivery order was there. Making a print I rushed to the airport. Standing in the queue, an agent of the freights forwarders who frequent the cargo bay, gave me another sad news. He said that it could take 2 and a half days for clearance to be given. My heart sank again. As I stood before the officer, she guided me to 5 stations on paper and briefed me on the procedures. To my surprise, I had Agathiyar in my hands in 2 1/2 hours. My family and I received him cheerfully and happily and drove home. The most compassionate Agathiyar did not let us down.

I realized that we would not have had to face all those delays if only we had adhered to Agathiyar's time schedule. I tend to imagine what if I had not heeded their call to come to the path; what if I had purposely delayed in taking up Tavayogi's invitation to visit his Kallar Ashram; etc. Life is full of probabilities and possibilities. Our choice of action determines what is in store for us. When we make a wrong choice that lends us in trouble we have no one to blame but us. But the most compassionate Agathiyar asks us not to carry the blame for if we had deliberated on it at length before we executed our freedom of choice, then, of course, it was the best choice at the moment. Agathiyar goes on to bring some solace to us telling us that we needed the bad experience too and that it too was his doing. 

The Siddhas predictions have to be acted upon immediately or everything moves away; the planets, the hora, the people placed to help us, the events that are to take place, etc. It is no wonder that they take their time to give us the green light in all our requests. They have to have the right person in place; the planets have to come together; etc for the desired results. This is another reason that they always ask us to be patient. Everything has a domino effect.

These days we have begun to respect Agathiyar's words and if there is a directive, we execute it immediately for he comes to asks if we are doing it. He monitors every action and word we say. He brings people together and after they have learned some pertinent lessons from their experiences he disperses them, sending them to gain further and diversified experiences from other circles.

After the soul has gained useful lessons he calls it back to his kingdom only to start the ball rolling again. But with love and dedication towards the cause of the Siddhas, we might gain some insight into the mystery of life and death, birth and rebirth and with his grace and our concerted efforts we might break the chain one day.

THE JOURNEY TURNS SOLO

When called to their fold I could not stop asking myself why was there a need for so many organizations under his name. Why could not all these organizations come together under an umbrella body in the name of Agathiyar and worship him and serve humanity, I asked myself. I am beginning to get the answers today. Just as a restaurant carries many dishes on its menu, there is a need for many paths and stages even on the same path.

Reading the Nadi he casually put in a word asking me to come to Siddha worship. I took the bait. Calling out to us, asking us to come his way, Agathiyar made all the necessary arrangements for us to follow his path. We never knew nor imagined that he would bring us this far. He has kept his word. Fulfilling all my obligations towards satisfying the wreath of my karma through a pilgrimage of temples he cleared the way for me to meet my very first guru Supramania Swami. Spending some precious 5 hours with him during our first meeting and several days during my second meeting some 3 years later, my guru gifted me with the reward of his 40-year tapas before going into samadhi. He came back in spirit form and did a miracle at my home just like his guru Yogi Ramsuratkumar did at his kudil in Tiruvannamalai. They both came out of their samadhi to join us in prayer, with Supramania Swami traveling the extra mile to cross the seas to Malaysia. These days Agathiyar, Ramalinga Adigal, and the Siddhas join us at prayer too. As my wife says they have laid the bridge, connecting both the realms and making travel accessible, we look forward to the day where it works both ways.

The Siddhas refrained from giving long discourses, instead set us immediately walking the path performing Siddha puja, and conducting rituals, while paying homage to the Siddhas. Unknowingly to us, we had already embarked on the maiden journey of Sariyai. Bringing me to Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram, Agathiyar through him taught me the rituals and the ever incomprehensible workings of the Siddhas. With the coming of Tavayogi we began the journey of Kriyai and found ourselves on the fringes of Yoga. Sending Upagurus along, Agathiyar strengthened our understanding of Yoga.

Tavayogi introduced me to do charity. Agathiyar came to advise us to give to all irrespective of whether they were worthy of handouts, aid, and food, whether they were poor or rich, hungry or otherwise, in the beginning, telling us that if we were to be selective on who deserves and who doesn't, we would never start, venture and engage in giving in the first place. Only after we had created a habit of giving did he tell us to verify, shortlist and give only to those deserving and truly unfortunate and in need. We had exercised his words in all our dharma programs.

Similarly, he opened his doors to all kinds of seekers: the true and genuine seekers; window shoppers; touch and go seekers; seekers seeking miracles and cures; etc. Accommodating them for some time, finally, he burnt the very vessel so that those who were well equipped with his teachings could swim across the tide and rapids to safety and safely continue their worship by themselves while those who hitchhiked; the stowaways and holiday seekers were swept away by the strong current of the passing life and the lure of maya.  

Bringing us an understanding of how births are determined and revealing the determining factor, karma that draws upon our past merits and deeds, forming the skeletal frame for life to emerge again, Agathiyar brought us to redeem our body, soul and spirit from the neverending grip and clutches of the cycle of birth and death. He brought us to serve others through the family and through association with the society that was a responsibility. He brought us to do charity that was an option waiting to be taken up, to strangers and the unfortunate individually first, and later through association with like-minded souls. He reintroduced to us his 5 tenets for this purpose. Then he drew the line telling us that it was enough and that we needed to go one an entirely different journey, that of going within, working on our soul now, gaining Atma Balam.

We can pray for another at a temple, offer offerings for another and conduct remedies or pariharam for another in selective cases where the individual is in a coma, unconscious, immobile and bedridden, or if it is a child. Similarly, we can attend a Yagam and gain its benefits by just merely being present as passive participants, inhaling the smoke, listening to the mantras chanted, partaking the food served or annadhanam, etc. In Sariyai and Kriyai we can stand and watch without active participation but in Yogam and Gnanam each individual has to practice and experience individually to reap the benefits.

As Sariyai and Kriyai can be done collectively but not Yogam and Gnanam, hence Agathiyar broke the group Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) and its charity arm Amudha Surabhi (AS) and shocked the sleeping devotees out of their deep slumber. Some felt lost, as the shepherd chose to let them loose. Only then did they realize that they had been honeymooning instead of taking worship and dharma seriously. Only a handful realized that they had gained the freedom to venture on their own, taking all that they had learned from the association or Sangam to carve a path for themselves individually. This handful continues to conduct puja in the comfort of their homes, turning their homes into another AVM and doing charity on their own or in their own family circles giving life to AS. Bringing the crowd that was curious to know about the path to do Sariyai and Kriyai collectively, Agathiyar brought a handful into Yoga and today the few who stayed behind to pay allegiance to him, have been shown the door to Gnana.

Yogam and Gnana is for those committed to discipline and willing to empty all their previous learning respectively. The undisciplined and unruly has to adopt rigidly to practices to excel in Yogam, bringing mastery over the body, mind, and self. If in Sariyai and Kriyai we sailed aboard a vessel that carried many others too, in Yogam and Gnana we turn this very body of ours into a vessel suitable for the divine to come within and reside. If in Sariyai and Kriyai we sailed aboard a vessel, in Yogam and Gnana the divine hitches a ride in us.

Tavayogi once told me that our efforts were required only until we progress to the second chakra Svadhistana. The search has to stop after coming by a guru. The search stops after Svadisthana. After that, the Siddhas will lead us all the way up the spiritual ladder by personally taking hold of our hands. Agathiyar too tells us that the seekers have to reach out and hold tightly to the hand of the guru that stretches out to them. The Gurus and Upaguru too have a journey to fulfill and cannot afford to wait on them. I remember how Tavayogi used to walk ahead of me, as if possessed, without turning back or waiting for me to catch up on him as we tracked into the deep jungles.  The guru within will take us along only if we surrender to him. The moment we lose sight of all other paths, ways, masters, teachers, and aids that take the form of ropes dropped down the well and instead hold on the current rope (Guru), we will see steady progress climbing out of the pitch-dark well. The problem with us is even after taking on a guru and his teachings we still let our eyes and ears stray hoping to pick up other messages and looking out for guidance elsewhere too. As too many ingredients spoil the soup, too many teachings bring only further confusion.

Today Agathiyar comes personally to convey and share the inner secrets of creation, karma, rituals, and yoga. He stops short of explaining, in brief, the final phase, Gnanam, telling us that it has to be lived and experienced by each individual. The Siddhas and Ramalinga Adigal ventured and came back to reveal their experiences through the many Siddha songs and the Arutpa respectively. There is no SOP or chartered path. Each has to discover their own. Shall we begin the inner journey?

MAKING WAY FOR THE TRANSFORMATION TO TAKE PLACE

If Vedantins were solely concerned about the spirit and the soul, the Siddhantins cared for the physical body too. Geetha Anand writes in her blog http://agatthiyarjnanam.blogspot.my/ that "the Siddhas did not believe in attaining moksha after death. There is no guarantee that one will actually achieve it also! They believe that the body should be used properly as a moksha sadhana." So they paid attention and worked on their body as did they on the soul and spirit.

And so calling us to his path, Agathiyar slowly brought us to understand the way and the means to attaining, or if not at least to attempt to attain by striving and putting in some effort in this birth and coming back to work further on this ideal. For this purpose, he brought us in contact with Supramania Swami, Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal and their respective spiritual lineages. Agathiyar himself introduced us to his spiritual colleagues too. All these masters guided and led us through actual practices rather than give discourses. Soon they introduced us many Upagurus too from whom we learned the intricacies of these practices and began to fine-tune them. Just as it is found that when the lightning strikes the earth a streamer arises from the ground to meet it, with Agathiyar’s enormous mercy and grace showering on us and the little compassion that has risen in our hearts, when these two, their grace and our efforts meet there blossoms a shower of divine energy that readily begins the transformation in us.

Taking directives from Agathiyar and the Siddhas all this while we were surprised when Ma told us that the Siddha path was one of learning or படிப்பினை (and henceforth gaining experience). This learning (and the relative experience gained from it) will become knowledge to others she said. Making mistakes is a learning process she added, telling us it was fine to make mistakes and that it was part of the process. She asks us to share the experience. Recently Agathiyar too has spoken of our experiences as a lesson or பாடம். He went further to mention that there was another experience that one needs to seek, that which is a result of an inner journey and tells us that the experience shall vary from person to person.

Bringing us to understand that karma and effort determine the direction of the prapanjam or matrix, Agathiyar led us on a Pilgrim's Journey, satisfying the need to atone for our past misdeeds and actions, and fulfilling the numerous remedies given out to raise the merits or Punya through good deeds, to counter if not overshadow the baggage of karma we brought down on us. If going on a pilgrimage and fulfilling the countermeasures dished out was one way to redeem our soul, including the all-powerful act of charity, that is feeding the hungry or annadhanam, he then brought us to personally sit to carry out the homam, that burns a substantial portion of our karma. Then by his grace, he comes as a guru to whom we are destined to be a student, serving and learning further. The guru begins his work on us cleansing this vessel externally first, our habits, behavior and characteristics and soon working on our mind and the luggage that it carries along with it, the ingrained perspective of the world around us. If we are willing to wait and serve him patiently for at least 12 golden years, and pass all the test and examination that he places in our path, we qualify to redeem the soul from the clutches of darkness, whereby a drastic transformation awaits the student. This time it is an internal journey, a pilgrimage within that rids us of all the gross matter and filth and dirt, cleansing the very cells and paving the way for the decent of Erai and his messengers. This personal inner experience or true Gnana as he defines it will differ from person to person. Agathiyar added that this Gnana cannot be conferred on a person, as in giving out titles and honorary awards, but has to be earned through the concerted efforts of each individual.

We can only walk this far with a group or a gathering of fellow students or disciples. There then comes a moment when each one of us shall have to begin to walk alone. Taking all that he had acquired under the tutorship of the gurus and upagurus, now he has to step alone into the unchartered frontiers, discovering for himself the truth. He begins to verify the truth in the statements of those who had ventured before him. He is lucky if he comes upon signboards or signages along the way that helps hasten his internal journey.

Hence Mahindren in his article that Siddha Heartbeat posted earlier, understood the purpose in me dissolving the groups, Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) and its charity arm Amudha Surabhi (AS) for it was the right time, the perfect moment for each one of us in AVM to embark on his/her solo journey within.

டிசம்பர் 20, 2013 எனது சரியைக்காணப் பயணத்தின் தொடக்கம். அன்று தான் நான் முதல் முறையாக அகத்தியர் வானம் மலேசியாவிக்கு எனது நண்பர்களோடு சென்றிருந்தேன்.

கிரியை எனபது வெறும் பூஜை என்பது அல்ல, பிறருக்கு தொண்டுகள் செய்வதும் தான் என உணர்த்தி, பாலச்சந்திரன் தலைமையில் நாங்கள் ஆறு பேர்  (பாலச்சந்திரன், நான், தயாளன், சுகுமாரன், மலர்வதி, சஹாலினி) சேர்த்த ஒரு குழு அமைத்து எங்களால் ஈன்ற தொண்டினை செய்து வந்தோம்.

இவாறு அகத்தியரோடு பயணம் சுமுகமாய் போக, யோகத்தின் பயிற்சி ஆரம்பமானது. இங்குதான் அகத்தியரோடு பயணம் குழுவாக அல்ல தனி மனித பயணம் என உணர்த்த ஆரம்பித்தார். ஆறு வருடமாக குழுமுறையில் செய்தவையாவும் இப்பொழுது தனித்து செய்ய வேண்டும். தொண்டுகள் இதில் அடங்காது. தனி மனித பயணம் என்பது தன்னை தானே அறிந்துகொள்வது.

எவ்வாறு நான் என்னை நானே அறிவது என்ற கேள்விக்கு அகத்தியர் அப்பா சொல்லியது தியான முறை. நம்மை நாம் அறிவதற்கு சித்தர்கள் சொல்லித்தருவது தியான பயிற்சி. நம்மை தனிமை படுத்தி தினமும் ஒரு முறையாவது இறைவனை நோக்கி மன அமைதியோடு தியனம் செய்து வந்தால், அதன் பலனாக நம் பிறப்பின் நோக்கமும், அதன் பயனும் அறிவோம் என்று உணர்த்தினார்.

Bringing us on his path, by calling out to us, Agathiyar waited patiently for us to drop our individual and personal desires and willingly submit to his wishes, in other words asking for total surrender. Having come to surrender to him, he then began to chart both our external and internal journey, bringing us within and closer henceforth. He carefully charted the ways and means for us to tread the path, leaving a milestone at every mile of our journey, waiting for us to catch up on him and encouraging and continuing us on yet another phase of the journey, an inner journey.

Agathiyar has delegated many Siddhas, saints, gurus and upagurus, including nature and both the animal and plant kingdom, to come to our rescue in helping us build anew this body that is liable to conflicts and disease, strengthening this fortress that is very much necessary in our pursuit of the divine and bringing him within. We have the Siddhas, the Mahaans, the gurus in physical form and even a child to bring upon us enlightenment of the soul. I used to watch and wonder why my toddler granddaughter would spin and spin and run in circles. Soon I found out that the child inherently carries the knowledge needed for survival and advancement of its soul. What she did was akin to one of the 5 Tibetan Rites or Yoga practice that I happen to come across on the net later. Ramalinga Adigal had drawn up clearly the many milestones one has to encounter and move on, continuing the journey that brings one to the much-anticipated destination and kingdom of God.

Thus, the Siddha, instead of fighting the body and its natural tendencies, transform it using the same principles into a supreme vehicle that carries them towards liberation. Besides working on the physical body, Agathiyar brings us to work within on the chakras too. From https://pranashakty.org/jothi/suddha-deham/ we are enlightened further on the sequence in the changes of the physical state of Ramalinga Adigal upon undertaking the worship of the divine.

The most compassionate father Agathiyar for a start has us partake his herbal purgative, Agathiyar Kozhumbu, directed and prepared passionately by Siddha Practitioner Arivan. After having consumed the concoction, he tells us that it helps stabilize the three Dosas namely Vatham, Kapham, and Pitham.

Today as we stand at the threshold of Gnana, he tells us that it is not something given or gifted but needs to be earned through concerted efforts and its resulting relative experiences bloom into Gnana. Of course, this is varied and different for each soul, he briefs us. To travel this internal journey, we are asked to strengthen the power of our soul or gain Atma Balam. Towards attaining Atma Balam, Agathiyar, holding our hands, has walked us through Sariyai, Kriyai, and Yogam, all these years. He had expressed his wishes for us to achieve the state of a Jeevan Mukta, and work towards bringing changes in our physical body too, transforming it from Asudha Deham to Sudha Deham and moving on to Pranava Deham and Oli Deham. He wishes us to go through this transformation that had taken place in him and many saints of the past. How compassionate of him to desire that we too should relive and undergo these transformations. Now it is for us to take the leap into the unchartered frontiers, that have been only vaguely described by past saints. Then we understand that no two experiences will be the same says Agathiyar.

But it all has to begin from right below our feet, taking our first step, falling and getting up, making many attempts just as a toddler does, taking a break from the attempt only to rest but never giving up. What drives a child to carry out these feats if not an inherent knowledge that all things are possible? What drives a child to carry out these feats if not some past encounters with it? The Buddha-nature is inherent and alive in each of us. Sadly we are not awakened to the realization of its existence. We are veiled thickly by Maya or illusion that refuses to let the light in. Love for the divine breaks asunder this veil and one meets his creator.