I was shown the worship of deities both at my home altar and the temple by my parents. This continued when I moved out of my childhood home to spend my college days staying with my sister. This continued further when I landed a job and was posted to the coastal town of Lumut. I use to patronize the numerous temples in the vicinity besides doing home puja both at dawn and dusk. A.P.Muthukumara Shivachariya Swamigal's book on home worship together with all the numerous books of devotional prayers that I could lay my hands on at the bookstores was my guide then. I read a lot and engaged in rigorous discussions with fellow colleagues of mine and senior consultants in the project team back then. My journey on Sariyai then came to an abrupt stop when I had a dream and was transferred back to Kuala Lumpur at the same time. In the dream Lord Shiva told me to take a break and leave the questions and doubts I had then to a later date. Hence all forms of worship, reading, and the questioning stopped. That "later date" came some 14 years later in 2001, when I resumed worship to Lord Narayana in the form of a mantra and worshipped Lord Dhakshanamurty's painting, both of which came mysteriously through my nephew.
With reading the Nadi the following year, I was called to the worship of the Siddhas by Agathiyar, which I took up without hesitation or reservation. The following year in 2003 I was brought to meet my very first guru Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai in a mysterious way too. Supramania Swami introduced me to his gurus. He taught me the meaning of dedication to one's guru by example. Three years on I meet my second guru Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal in Malaysia also rather in a mysterious way too. Tavayogi introduced me officially to Siddha worship. He introduced me to the ritual of Homa or lighting the sacrificial sacred fire. Agathiyar who by this time had arrived at my home as a bronze statue introduced me to the ritual of libation or abhisegam. Agathiyar and Tavayogi introduced me to the act of doing charity too. Armed with these tools and with these forces behind me I walked the path of the Siddhas performing the Homa, Abhisegam, and reciting the names and singing the praises of the Siddhas.
In 2013 Agathiyar starts to bring others to witness and participate in the rituals at my home. Our home puja opened to accommodate these newcomers. For ease of identifying my home, I named it Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) taking after the name of the place where Tavayogi had built his very first dwelling cum temple for Agathiyar at the foot of the Kallar Hills. G.Balachandran with his group of schoolmates Thondu Seivom aligned with AVM to serve and do charity. We extended our wings to perform rituals at temple grounds too. Armed with both tools Tavam or puja and Aram or charity, we carried out all the dictates of Agathiyar and the Siddhas and our gurus. We held the annual celebrations and Agathiyar Jayanthi at AVM to coincide with the celebrations at Kallar Ashram. Tavayogi who frequented Malaysia beginning from 2004 to 2016, came with Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar later to guide us from time to time. Members from the AVM family too visited his ashram frequently. Soon we were to find out for ourselves that what we had been asked to do all this while constituted the 5 tenets that Agathiyar had expounded at the Tamil Sangam back in time. We had fulfilled these 5 tenets that were laid out as the true purpose of man taking birth.
In 2013 Agathiyar starts to bring others to witness and participate in the rituals at my home. Our home puja opened to accommodate these newcomers. For ease of identifying my home, I named it Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) taking after the name of the place where Tavayogi had built his very first dwelling cum temple for Agathiyar at the foot of the Kallar Hills. G.Balachandran with his group of schoolmates Thondu Seivom aligned with AVM to serve and do charity. We extended our wings to perform rituals at temple grounds too. Armed with both tools Tavam or puja and Aram or charity, we carried out all the dictates of Agathiyar and the Siddhas and our gurus. We held the annual celebrations and Agathiyar Jayanthi at AVM to coincide with the celebrations at Kallar Ashram. Tavayogi who frequented Malaysia beginning from 2004 to 2016, came with Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar later to guide us from time to time. Members from the AVM family too visited his ashram frequently. Soon we were to find out for ourselves that what we had been asked to do all this while constituted the 5 tenets that Agathiyar had expounded at the Tamil Sangam back in time. We had fulfilled these 5 tenets that were laid out as the true purpose of man taking birth.
When I was a seeker on the path of the Siddhas I searched for organizations related to Agathiyar and the Siddhas locally. I frequented these places. I noticed that many turned up once a week on Thursdays to come together in prayer to the Siddhas and left to come again the following week. Their prayers were based on the centres schedules and aligned to the centre, never reaching beyond into their individual homes and families. Tavayogi had told me it was not sufficient that I came but that I had to bring my family into the worship of the Siddhas. I too did not find it convenient nor conducive to travel the distance to the nearest centre to join in on these weekly pujas. Hence I began to perform the prayers at home each day. My family joined in, both in the preparation and executing the prayers. With the coming of Thondu Seivom members and other individuals the group grew in size as my home began to shrink in size, struggling to accommodate Agathiyar's devotees and the casual visitors to the puja. Lord Muruga took the opportunity to remind me that there was a need to build a temple for him at this juncture.
When I read the Nadi the very first time in 2002, Agathiyar had asks that I build one for him. Sivabalan who brought in the Nadi reader from India coaxed me to build one if I have the means to do it for Agathiyar had placed the same requests to 50 others before me. Since the doors were shut on my face as I approached local temple committees to have Agathiyar installed on their premises, I opted to help Supramania Swami see his dream temple come through in Tiruvannamalai instead. Mysteriously in the early stages of construction, a stranger turns up at the door to his kudil or home and questions him about the need to build one reminding him that he was already in the path of Gnana. Swami dropped the idea. I thought the divine had dropped the need for me to build a temple for them then too. But it was not to be.
Agathiyar asked me to have his bronze statue made in Swamimalai and place it at the Jegathguru Sri Raghavendra Mritiga Brindavanam that was to be constructed back then in 2009. His statue arrived on time but the Brindavanam saw some delay in completion. As if knowing that there would be a delay Agathiyar asked that he be placed in my home while awaiting completion of the temple complex. When the Brindavan was completed and the time came for him to move, he did not utter a word about moving. When I was pressured for an answer whether he was coming over, I told them he was not. When I was doubting my action in stopping him from going over, Agathiyar tells me that he had chosen to remain in my home.
When Tavayogi moved to his new temple/ashram complexes closer to Methupalaiyam in 2016, I thought my contribution in building a temple for the divine had come to a close with the completion of my guru's wishes. But in 2018 Lord Muruga comes to remind me that there was still a need to build a temple for him. As he spoke in the Jeeva Nadi I was asking him in my thoughts, "Oh Lord, why another temple when you have numerous temples already in existence?" As if to answer my subtle thoughts, he replied that "Yes I know of the existence of all these temples. But I want you to build one for it shall be different." As I had kept my silence, not promising anything at that juncture, and seeing that I had not initiated the move towards fulfilling his wishes, he sends Agathiyar during a temple celebration that we held at Carey Island to come within a devotee to remind me again. As I stood silent before him not wanting to commit to this humongous task, Agathiyar told me that my home was no more conducive for he had big plans for me and my place. As I remained silent Agathiyar replied that he would do it. When my wife came up to him later, he spoke to her too that we needed to move as the premises had shrunk in size and were no longer able to cope with the crowd that he would bring along. But at the end of the duration in October of last year, after an 18 month grace period that he had given to see the fulfillment of their desires, he told me that it was not necessary for me to move. He revealed that he had tested me if I had harbored and carried the desire to engage in the massive task. I had passed his test.
This was mysteriously followed by a sudden change in direction for us at AVM. All the religious events and acts of charity were brought to a stop abruptly. One fine day last year as I sat alone and removed each member from our AVM Whatsapp group and its charity arm Amudha Surabhi (AS) and as the members watched in horror and stood mystified as to why I destroyed the very medium that we worked hard to build, I too was doubting my action, whether it was right or wrong. Agathiyar came to tell me that it was his doing. The reason: knowledge had been dispelled to others. It was time they took up the knowledge and performed individual prayers at home, chanting the names of the Siddhas, lighting the Homa, perform charity with their families etc. As for us, we had to move on now. We cannot wait for others to catch up on us any longer. We had to go within. This was the right moment for us to engage in Yoga and move into Gnana. Agathiyar asked us to revisit Tavayogi's teachings on the Asanas and Pranayama. He came with Ramalinga Adigal to guide us further on the intricacies of these practices. A handful of us have taken to this practice.
Today I understand why he broke the congregation that came together as AVM. It was slowly becoming a temple. Except for a few who actively engaged themselves in the preparation and execution of its events both religious and charitable, others turned up to watch, pray, and leave. They did not engage directly and actively in Sariyai, Kriyai, and Yogam as the Siddhas wanted. We were at times asked to light a lamp on behalf of others. We stood in as proxies and middleman defeating the very purpose of coming to the path of the Siddhas. Many came as devotees and left as devotees, as it would be in any temple worship. Agathiyar tore it all down. His intention was to get them to come, see, and conquer; watch, learn and put into practice and bring it back into their homes. Only a handful practiced the teachings of the Siddhas, personally reciting their names, lighting the homa, and watching their breath. The majority began to worship Agathiyar and the Siddhas but did not walk their path. They replaced worship of the deities at the temples with the worship of the Siddhas. Otherwise, all else was the same. What is the difference between temple worship and Siddha worship if we only bring our hands together and ask for favours as in the temples? The Siddhas want us to become Siddhas too, not merely worship them all life long, longing for favours.
Worship at temples does not bond us to the divinity residing within its walls. Only by getting on the ground and taking up personal worship can we build a personal relationship with the deity of our choice. Only when we take to performing rituals and worship personally, a bond and connection are formed.
The Siddha path is not similar to the Bhakti path, says Agathiyar finally. It has to be lived and experienced. Hence I understand fully well why Tavayogi took me into the forests and caves on the very onset of my journey rather than talk about it. He set me to do Homa while Agathiyar set me to do abhisegam. He taught us Yoga techniques that today Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal have come to expand on. Each time they came they asked us if we are doing it? So did Supramania Swami asks me if I was doing tavam? He kept reminding me to continue my tavam. Supramania Swami told me that no effort goes to waste. Ramalinga Adigal tells us that the only way of showing our appreciation and gratitude towards them was by putting in the effort.
In complying with my wishes in not wanting to be caught in beginning a venture of a physical nature and being tied to it till the end, being shackled to it, be it the most divine and noble a deed, the divine who understood my stand obliged me; although they did test my hold on my stand. Seeing that I could not be lured by the gifts of the Nadi, a Peedham, a high standing in the eyes of the public, etc, that they had mentioned that would come my way, finally, they gave their very selves to this beggar. Today I rejoice in the breath that moves within me; that brings coolness and bliss within. I rejoice in reading these posts just like you do, ingesting, understanding and imbibing the words that flow from him. What else can a man ask for?
Worship at temples does not bond us to the divinity residing within its walls. Only by getting on the ground and taking up personal worship can we build a personal relationship with the deity of our choice. Only when we take to performing rituals and worship personally, a bond and connection are formed.
The Siddha path is not similar to the Bhakti path, says Agathiyar finally. It has to be lived and experienced. Hence I understand fully well why Tavayogi took me into the forests and caves on the very onset of my journey rather than talk about it. He set me to do Homa while Agathiyar set me to do abhisegam. He taught us Yoga techniques that today Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal have come to expand on. Each time they came they asked us if we are doing it? So did Supramania Swami asks me if I was doing tavam? He kept reminding me to continue my tavam. Supramania Swami told me that no effort goes to waste. Ramalinga Adigal tells us that the only way of showing our appreciation and gratitude towards them was by putting in the effort.
In complying with my wishes in not wanting to be caught in beginning a venture of a physical nature and being tied to it till the end, being shackled to it, be it the most divine and noble a deed, the divine who understood my stand obliged me; although they did test my hold on my stand. Seeing that I could not be lured by the gifts of the Nadi, a Peedham, a high standing in the eyes of the public, etc, that they had mentioned that would come my way, finally, they gave their very selves to this beggar. Today I rejoice in the breath that moves within me; that brings coolness and bliss within. I rejoice in reading these posts just like you do, ingesting, understanding and imbibing the words that flow from him. What else can a man ask for?