ADDICTION

When I go back and revisit and recall what Tavayogi, Agathiyar, and Ramalinga Adigal had said, and read my earlier blog postings, it brings further clarity and understanding.

There comes a moment when you realize that everything is an addiction, even in spiritual matters. My wife pointed out that we were getting addicted to doing charity, looking out for the next event with much expectation. So was it with the Puja, and Nadi readings, and Siddhas and deities speaking through devotees, etc. A friend from New Delhi who frequented the Nadi readers would get desperate to read the Nadi and become frustrated if he didn't get to see it. After our conversation over the phone, he realized and told me, agreeing that there was an overdose of these readings in the market and that one tends to get hooked and addicted to them as if they were another meal on the dinner table. And so did Agathiyar bring it all to a halt before we began to become fanatical. 

It is tough having a fanatic, be it about religious ideology or even something as simple as making a choice and a decision on picking the food and place of our choice. I took out a senior friend and colleague, thinking we could have breakfast, but we ended up going back to his home to have a cup of coffee because he would only take authentic Indian food. But that day, we could not figure out why all the Indian restaurants and stalls in town were closed. Then I had another friend and colleague sitting at an Indian restaurant ask numerous times if it was truly and wholly Indian. I have no problem with food. I eat whenever I am hungry and wherever. Malaysia is a haven for food from all the cultures and races. We get to taste the vegetables that go beyond the divide and are consumed by other ethnicities. That is why I never went hungry, for somehow food came to my table. 

It is dangerous when an individual's preference for food begins to divide us, and what's more, keeps us away from performing rituals. There was a devotee who stopped another from performing libation to Agathiyar in a temple, asking him to step aside from the line of devotees waiting to carry it out because he was not a vegetarian. That poor man was devastated and shared with me his astonishment and sadness at how one's choice of food is used to divide us humans and keep us away from God. He was pretty much surprised that when he came to my house, I invited him to sit in the ritual of lighting the Homam without any reservation or objection. 

The comments that we give of others can shatter them. The way we treat others can hurt them deeply. Those who climb the religious spiritual ladder at one point, out of arrogance, tend to make a mistaken assumption that all others below the rung they stood on were less devoted or spiritual. The ego builds in them that they are the chosen ones and that all others are dirt and worthless. 

Jay Lakhani cautions us about passing judgment on others. He strongly cautions us not to judge a person's spiritual standing based on his menu and the food he eats. He says, "You can be a strict vegetarian, but with all the baser and lowest attributes and character. On the other hand, you might be a noble person who took meat. It is not what you eat but how you behave that is more important." He strongly makes a statement that we should not classify people purely on their diet, "Do not reduce religion to the menu in your kitchen. Do not reduce religion purely to the idea of diet. It is not what you eat but how you lead your life that truly dictates whether you are truly religious or not."

My wife's great-grandpa was chased out of his village in India for the sole reason that he consumed meat. Father, son, and daughter made their way to Rameswaram to make a living. They eventually boarded a ship that brought them to Malaya. They made a livelihood peeling and cleaning prawns for a factory making shrimp paste.

Then we get to see the other side of the coin. My nephew's guru, who runs a temple too, sells dried fish and anchovies in the local market. Bhogar advised a devotee to take fish because her body needed those nutrients. Agathiyar told my daughter not to mind if her children were given non-vegetarian food, telling her that he would "change" it. We learn that Ramalinga Adigal permits us to eat vegetables but refrain taking roots or that which grows below ground. 

The idea of insisting on the need to become a vegetarian, I believe, is to hasten the process of transmutation and transformation for only those interested, keen, yearning, and fated to walk the path to a total transformation of all the various bodies spoken of, bringing this impure body (Asudha Deham) to a pure state (Sudha Deham) and beyond. Patanjali in the Nadi asked me to take Satvic food as my body was going through changes as a result of the Yoga that Tavayogi had shown me in 2007, and that I practiced. 

Sadly, we have missed the mark and keep harping on the superficial. Tavayogi asked each of us whether we were vegetarians before giving us our first Mantra Diksha. Since my wife was not a vegetarian back then in 2005, he told her to become one, which she could easily switch over to. He went ahead and gave her the initiation. When a friend came before Tavayogi, he gave him initiation, telling him not to consume the meat of whatever flies. When Mrs. Molly Menon, who later came to be addressed as Jnana Jothiamma, stood before Tavayogi in Kallar Ashram, he sensed she had taken fish before coming over. He asked her if she did and postponed the initiation to another time. 

What's in the river? The water that we drink that has its source from the rivers is part of the "freshwater systems carrying water, sediment, and nutrients toward a larger body of water, like an ocean or lake. They contain diverse ecosystems featuring fish, aquatic plants, invertebrates, and mammals (e.g., otters, beavers)." (AI Overview)

What's in the ocean? "The ocean that covers 70% of Earth, containing 97% of its water, has massive biodiversity and vast, uncharted depths. It holds trillions of tons of salt, over 240,000 known species (including fish, mammals, and corals), microscopic plankton, and vast, unexplored deep-sea habitats. It also contains shipwrecks, volcanic ridges, and significant amounts of human-made waste." (AI Overview)

I was enjoying my food just days ago when the question arose whether it was the food that was tasty, or whether it was because of the taste buds on the tongue. Then it struck me that it was the salt that brings out the taste in food that is otherwise bland. Now, where did the table salt come from? Of course, from the ocean. The ocean that holds trillions of tons of salt is the source of our table salt, which gives taste to all our cooking. So, what is vegetarian? I laughed a loud laugh just as Agathiyar, after asking me to come out of my solitarity, told me to just watch the world and laugh it out. 

What's in the air? "Air is primarily composed of nitrogen (~78%) and oxygen (~21%), with the remaining 1% containing argon, carbon dioxide, water vapor, and trace amounts of other gases. It also contains natural and man-made particles, such as dust, pollen, spores, and microorganisms." (AI Overview).

What is in the soil? "Soil is a complex, living mixture typically composed of four main non-living components and a vast community of organisms."  (AI Overview). This is where even vegetarians get their vegetables. 

Now, what is vegetarian? I fear for the state of the fanatics. How are they going to survive in difficult times, during a famine and in war, if we are selective and are bound by these boundaries and self-imposed restrictions? We can afford to choose and pick our meals and menus because we live in a comfort zone where everything is available at the touch of a button. We become complacent living in a safe and comfortable zone, where we are spoilt for choice. Throw us into a desperate situation, famine or war zone, or drop us off in countries where hardly any greens grow, or where food is scarce, we would have no choice but to eat what was available or made available to us, including meat for survival.

This very body is meat. Our skin and scalp, our guts also have organisms thriving on them. We do not ask if the "blood transfusion, which is a common, generally safe medical procedure where donated blood or components are delivered intravenously to replace lost blood from injury/surgery or treat conditions like severe anemia or cancer," is from a vegetarian or otherwise. All we know is that it comes from the blood bank and the kind donors, who I think are more humane than many of us. 

A news report from the Rakyat Post says that "More than 400,000 Malaysians have signed up to donate their organs. Over 10,000 are still waiting for one. There are only two public hospitals performing kidney transplants, both in Kuala Lumpur, and they are served by just two dedicated transplant surgeons nationwide. Some 80 kidneys become available each year, while the waitlist stands at over 10,000."

We should learn to emulate these great souls. My wife keen on donating her organs, asked Agathiyar about it. He told us to let others go ahead, but told us that it was not necessary, echoing the exact words of Tavayogi whenever he was opposed to certain things we had in our minds, on us, or did. When she asked him at another time if the funeral rites were necessary, again he told us to let others go ahead, for they need it, but we don't. After giving the green light to a devotee to wear a Rudraksha seed on him, Tavayogi turned to me, saying, "We do not need it". Seeing me wear a nine gem-studded gold ring on my finger, he said the same. Coming to know that I had a mercury bead or Rasamani on me, he said the same. 

Then many tend to ask if plants have souls, aren't we killing them so that we get to eat? We learn that plants, unlike humans, who have individual souls, come under groups or collective consciousness. I guess this is why the most compassionate Ramalinga Adigal permits us to eat vegetables but refrain taking roots or that which grows below ground. We only tend to cut those that are above the ground, but usually put out the roots and tubers, right? We might not hurt in the former but not the latter, just as when we clip our fingernails and toenails and cut our hair.

I guess the reason Agathiyar and Lord Muruga made our home their home and claim it as their temple is that we are not fanatical. We are open to views and new findings. We had covered a lot of ground in bringing changes at AVM with regard to Puja, often taking the cue from them when they came to conduct it, which was acknowledged by the Siddhas coming later in the Nadi and through devotees over the years. I guess this is the reason Lord Muruga says we would do it differently. I keep reminding myself not to be arrogant when it comes to food, telling myself that in times of calamities and disasters, we might end up having to opt for processed canned food and sardines to keep ourselves alive. I tell myself that if I were left with nothing else but meat and fish and I had to survive, I would eat them even if I were to throw up after that.

I, who have upheld being a "moderate" vegetarian, where I eat at any place that can provide me with anything vegetarian, for the past 28 years. I don't care to ask if they use the same wok to stir or fry. I don't read the fine print on the packaging to look at what has gone into it. As long as there is no meat, fish, or egg on the plate, it is fine. But just days ago, when asking to pack some fried noodles from my regular restaurant, I discovered that once I was back home, it had egg in it. It cost me RM8.50. There was no one to pass it on to. I ate it. 

Many, on hearing that I was a vegetarian, immediately make a statement and wait for me to acknowledge it. "You are a vegetarian. You never get angry, right?" It is said that taking Satvic food cools your body and temper. I never lost it. It just needed to be kindled, and there you have a volcano erupt. It was for this reason and the prayers my mother placed before Agathiyar that I was called up and counselled by him for close to an hour on anger management in the Nadi reading many years back. He immediately created the perfect environment and situation for me to be tested after the Nadi reading. But I failed badly. I still cannot drop my anger over the years. I realize I still have a long way to go. Agathiyar has reminded me several times not to get angry, especially now, when he has put in so much work and effort into me by bringing the dormant energies to travel through the Chakras to the higher regions. He does not want it to fall back to the lower regions and lose the opportunity to join their fold and become one of them. 

Jay Lakhani quotes Swami Vivekananda as having said that "When something within you tells you that you do not want to eat meat, you are ready to give up meat. But do not force it on other people or yourself. When you feel that these animals are almost human, the thought of how you can eat them arises. It must come from within you; then you will give it up." This is the compassion that Ramalinga Adigal spoke about. The compassion should come from within and is not something imposed on others by the rule of law or by other means. All desires, including the lure of the flesh and meat, are to die a natural death. If restrictions are imposed and fear instilled, it would lie dormant only to take up its hood when the situation and conditions were conducive for it to flourish. Hence, as Osho says, the need to exhaust all worldly desires, never leaving even a seed to germinate later. The lure of flesh and meat is too great a challenge for some to surpass. Please let people evolve in their own time. God is not in a hurry, so why are we rushing to convert and change others to comply with our choices? 

A genuine seeker once wanted to know if it was required of him to become a vegetarian. I took a brief pause before answering him. This is a touchy, thorny, and sensitive issue and has to be handled carefully, I told myself. Many hold on to their diet with passion and love, not willing to let go of their favorite foods. Many have supported the vegetarian cause with scientific backing and findings, while equally many have silly reasons, unsubstantiated by facts. So after a few moments of silent contemplation, I replied to the seeker's question that he follow his heart. The divine in him shall show him the way. True enough, when a senior devotee in the AVM family fell in his home and tore his ligaments, the doctor at the Emergency ward of the Medical Centre did not want to operate on him due to his age, but referred him to a physiotherapist instead. He followed as told. Besides that, he sought advice and treatment from an Ayurvedic center. To a question as to which treatment he should continue, Agathiyar told him to follow his heart. Agathiyar told him that he would be there to guide him. The devotee continued both treatments as they supplemented one another. Both traditional and modern-day physicians were surprised to see his quick progress and eventual recovery. 

The same is true of worship. When some came before Bhagawan Ramana asking what they should do, he would ask the same of them, what they were currently into. He would ask them to continue what they did. 

I had a message from a reader back in 2019.   

Good afternoon Aiya. I have read few times somewhere in your blog about how you give up non vege food over the night. Its really amazing since people like me still struggling to give up the non vege food attachment. Of course i hv few vegetarian days in a week. But couldn't gv up totally. And.... someone told me that by eating non vege, you can't pray to Agathiar appa. If you have time Aiya, please gv some enlightenment or guidance to ppl like me via your blog writing. i was so shattered and upset over the "remarks". Even i was told Siddhas get angry when i eat non vege & pray to them. I'm very clear now. I hv a stand that if i give up non vege food, it has to be voluntarily. No more even a slight liking in it.  I believe one day i shall give up totally this non vege food.Thank you.

The reader is today a vegetarian, although she cooks for her family. It is a good start, though. Take the hand of the divine in all matters, and you shall be safe. The Siddhas break us and break our hold on all things and reassemble as the New Avengers, or should I say the New Siddhas, eventually. Who is in, or are you out?