Many have a dream. Many have achieved them too. Often, these dreams are translated as vision boards. Gazing at it feeds their desire to work towards achieving it. Our elders, too, had vision boards in the form of a lit oil lamp burning bright. Taught to light an oil lamp in the home from day one, we are asked to gaze at it, wishing to become it - the Light. But over time, its purpose was lost in the mayhem of parables and stories, and the flood of rituals and practices. Now our sight, thoughts, and tasks are dispersed. We have lost sight of our goal. We began to go behind other things. At least I believe I have, for Agathiyar came to remind me of our bond and relationship that spans crores of years. He remembers, but I forgot. He has come to claim me. Thavathiru Dharmalinga Swami, formerly of Kollimalai, used to narrate the story of a lad whom a Siddha came to claim back. But each time, he gave a reason to stay back and sent the Siddha away. First, he voiced his desire to get married, later his mother's desire to see a grandchild, and see the child get married, and on and on it went until finally the Siddha had to put a stop to it. He asked for a fresh tender coconut to quench his thirst. Once the lad was atop the coconut tree holding on to the palm leaf, the Siddha asked if he was holding to the palm leaf or if it was holding him up. The lad came down and followed the Siddha.
Tavayogi of Kallar Ashram has said it beautifully each time he took the stage to give a speech, telling us to place our sight on becoming Light rather than following the multitude of other desires that crop up in our hearts each minute. Thavathiru Kumarsamy Aiya of Anuvavi Ashram, too, speaking over the phone, acknowledged my stand in staying put and not going anywhere. He said it beautifully, asking us to set our sight on one, hold to it tight, and hold on to it till the end.
If we tend to set goals in our lives, often imitating another person and their dreams, we often follow the same path of saints and gurus when we desire to come close to God. It is a well-trodden path, safe and sound, we believe. But we lose the surprise factor. We map it out, expecting results. When we do not achieve the target, we become disappointed, frustrated, and angry, and at times leave the path, either for another or entirely drop out. But when we begin to leave it to the divine to map it out for us and diligently follow it, we arrive where we are destined, safe and sound. I have come to see the fruit of Tavayogi and Agathiyar's effort in molding me to become one of their kind. This was hastened by the gift of the merits of some forty years of Tavam or the austerities of Supramania Swami he left behind to me. How lucky can a person be? I have to thank my stars.
Then there are the blunders we made, for which we are surprisingly saved. As we age and look back on our lives, we wonder where we had the courage to do what we did in our youth, actions that could have landed us in hot water if it weren't for the grace of the Gods that protected us back then. Agathiyar has saved me in many ways. I am ashamed to share these blunders. But the most compassionate father asked me to forgive myself, taking on the responsibility upon himself. He pacified me, saying that he had pushed me into those situations and made me err and lose my guard, telling me that I needed those experiences, too. He added that he had forgiven me. He asked to walk with pride so that he, too, could walk with pride. He asked me not to shed tears, for he would shed tears too. Finally, he told me that he was indebted to me, which shook my whole world. I am the one indebted to him and not the other way around. But the merciful father hugged me in his arms and gave me all that was his. I remember Ramalinga Adigal singing the same too in his Arutpa.
Do Gods and Siddhas come down from their realm? Jnana Jothiamma stopped to rest and massage her legs on the steps of Palani, as she could not take another step due to the pain, when a young lad came running down and surprised her by pulling out a Vel and massaging her legs with it. He left shortly, running up the flight of steps towards the temple. Who was this stranger if not Lord Muruga?
Lord Muruga came to the call, sending a bee that entered the ear of a dog that barked in pain and had the whole pack dispersed, saving my father, who was on a Yatra, walking from his village of Kilsevalpatti to Palani.
Agathiyar had come to massage the legs of a devotee who was staying alone and was in pain.
As Agathiyar said, if man chooses to believe only after something happens, the Siddhas tell us to believe, and it shall happen. Now we understand Tavayogi's stand that it shall happen, and getting us to set our sight on becoming the Light. When I met Tavayogi in 2005, I had wished to see him become Light just as Ramalinga Adigal and Jeganathar did. But Tavayogi told me that he had missed the boat, for he was in his late sixties. Agathiyar, too, had reminded us that the process to attain the state of Light has to happen before sixty. But Dhanvantri came after Tavayogi's demise and told us that he had become Light. The boat did arrive, on time, and Tavayogi had boarded it for Kogie Pillai saw Tavayogi in a dream being rowed across an expanse of water towards a hill where Siddhas and Rishis were going about their work by Lord Siva himself. Agathiyar later came and said that Tavayogi was doing his work in their realm.