To those readers who have read each and every post of mine, at times it might seem like recycled news. As Nadi reader T.Ramesh told me a couple of weeks ago over the phone, asking me to reread the Jeeva Nadi for one might have had an understanding earlier but when it's reread later, we might understand it differently, this reminded me of Siddha Physician Dr. Bhani addressing those gathered at an event in the past, that a single song of the saint and poet Avvai took on three different meanings and dimensions at three different phases of his life. What was initially a song of praise to Lord Vinayaga was a loaded recipe for good health when he came to take up Siddha medicine. Finally, coming under the tutelage of his guru, Yogi Ramaiah, he learned that it was a song of Gnanam. Please bear with me, for similarly, it might strike you differently this time around.
Coming to the spiritual path after leaving the material for various reasons, though we have taken a huge step and a big leap, one brings the same mindset and thinking along. The step into the spiritual realm can only help us if we are prepared to let go of our past knowledge and learnings. I had seen many seekers sit before Tavayogi and share what they picked up from their previous readings, encounters, gurus, etc and place them before him and compare, seeking opinions, verification, etc. One should learn to come empty before a teacher or master. Only then can he fill us in. I was asked to keep all my questions and doubts aside for a later time when Lord Siva came in a dream. That time came some 14 years later. I was emptied during this period of all my readings, knowledge, learning, opinions, understanding, etc. Agathiyar began to fill me in, beginning with my first Nadi reading and the many subsequent readings. Agathiyar, in filling me in about my Karma, made me realize why others suffered too, something that had bothered me until the dream came on. I had questioned how the most merciful, loving, kind, and compassionate Gods could watch us suffer without lifting a hand. It made it worse when I learned that they had a hand in it, too. Agathiyar, after revealing my Karma, besides giving me remedies, asked me to forgive myself, telling me that I needed those experiences too, and that it was his doing too. Giving me this understanding, he had Tavayogi take me places where, contrary to the sufferings that I saw earlier in others' lives, I was filled now with joy and bliss, new knowledge, lessons, and experiences that were now going to serve me in my spiritual journey.
If only man lets the divine come into his life, things change for the better. The divine plans and he executes, bringing everything and everybody together precisely at the right moment, moving things the way he wants them. I have seen many such moments in my life where the divine stepped in and moved the course of actions. We just need to step back and watch. We only need to let go. If only man lets go, everything will fall into its place. We must learn to let go of the bitter past and its memories. We must learn to let go of even the teachings and practices once we understand and gain a new perspective and experience. All shall be well by the divine touch. He knows best.
I guess I have become adept at letting go, thanks to Tavayogi, who groomed me from day one taught me to be a drop of water on the lotus leaf and thanks to Agathiyar, who asked me to give up even the spiritual gains and rewards. A good testimony would be from my first guru, Supramania Swami, who told me that we cannot take anything with us, and we have to leave everything behind, and handed me the merits of his forty years of Tapas or austerities.
Similarly, I am indebted to Tavayogi for showing me Agathiyar. In bringing me to the temples, he brought a closure to Sariyai officially, which I had picked up from my parents. In bringing me to the abodes of the Siddhas, the caves, and the samadhis, he had me step into what he said was "Only now the true journey begins, my son", introducing me to the kingdom of the Siddhas and their reign and rule. In getting me started on doing the Homam or fire ceremony, and Agathiyar on his part had me carry out libation to his statue; again, he had me step into something new. They introduced me to Kriyai, something that was the domain of the temple priests. He started me on doing charity, something that never occurred to me that I should do until then, beginning with my first Annadhanam at his Kallar ashram. He officially showed me Yoga, which I had previously picked from books. These Yoga techniques started the internal journey that led me to come to understand what the last phase of the journey, Gnanam, is. The knowledge gained from Tavayogi's years of travel and research, which were condensed in two of his books, "Andamum Pindamum" and "Atma Darisanam," which were equally acclaimed by Agathiyar and Ramalinga Adigal, complemented the journey, besides the many revelations that came from the latter two. What else could one ask of his gurus?
What do I say of Agathiyar? After I took up the calling in the Nadi by Agathiyar to worship the Siddhas some 24 years back, he remained forever a constant companion on my new journey. He has accepted me into his fold today. If I turned down his request to build a temple in my first Nadi reading in 2002 and that of Lord Muruga too in 2018, even after the latter told me that he would give me the land, money and people, I have all the reasons now to build him one, not because they asked for it, or directed me to, but out of love and respect, for all the love and care, kindness and compassion, blessings and grace showered on me. Just as in the Sathya Gnana Sabai in Vadalur, where we have the Sirchabai and Porchabai flanking the Jothi in the inner sanctum, maybe we could have Supramania Swami and Tavayogi on both sides of the main sanctum. Maybe this is what Lord Muruga said I shall do it differently.
Could this be the reason Supramania Swami and Tavayogi, being themselves Gnanis and the latter having advocated others to come to Gnanam, built temples, with the former's 40 year desire dashed by a stranger who questioned him on his move taking a step back and the latter seeing it through when Agathiyar saw to the arrival of a devotee who gifted the land and absorbed the cost to build the temple in their new and present premises?
Although subsequently, Agathiyar and Lord Muruga have settled for my home being a temple and dropped the subject, I have a gut feeling that Lord Siva has other ideas, for he had spoken about the time being right to move to a bigger premise, something that he had asked to hold off earlier. Who can fathom the Siddhas and the Divine? We shall wait and see. We are only a tool in their hands.