Going by the definition of a Siddha from the net and the books that define the Siddhas as miracle makers, I have done nothing of that sort, nor have I brought myself to carry out the Siddhis often associated with them. I am just like anybody else.
Until now, I cannot bring myself to shut out external noises. I cannot bring myself to meditate. I have not done astral travel. Furthermore, I have not seen heaven or earth. I am akin to a fish in a pond, a toad in a well. I am not an acclaimed yoga practitioner. Neither am I a guru nor a teacher. All I did and do is carry out their dictates that come from time to time, either through the Nadi readings or through other devotees. All I have is love for them, though I have not seen them, nor have I had visions of them. All I know is that I sense their presence around me and in me. I, too, have sinned like others. Looking back on the stupid things I did that could have jeopardized my life and asking myself where the courage came to do them, I only have to thank them for saving me from the quandary that I might have put myself in and the disgrace that I might have brought upon myself, if not for their grace.
So I often wonder how it is that I have come to be qualified in their eyes or by their standards as Siddha material. If man has established certain criteria to be fulfilled to either take on a post or position or to be recognized in the physical world, the Siddhas do not place such conditions. They only see the soul. Nothing else matters, for how would they then take me into their fold and tell me that they will make me a Siddha too?
I guess man has made everything difficult, placing restrictions and hurdles in the path of the genuine and sincere seekers, expecting much from them. We are often told that we have sinned, having us sink into depression and bring on self-hate. We then seek out masters to show us the means and ways to wash the dirt off us. But Agathiyar seemed to see it from a different perspective, telling me that that was his doing too. He wanted me to have those experiences too. He asked me to forgive myself first.
I had carried a piece in a past post dated 21 October 2020 where Isaikavi Ramanan, in one of his talks, mentions a wise man told him once to drop his frantic search for means to cleanse himself, for in doing so, we are only looking further at ourselves, giving even more prominence and importance to this form, name, and self, bringing them into the spotlight and limelight. He adds that that is the reason we fail in our attempt, as we cannot possibly do it. Instead, we should learn to look towards the divine for salvation. "Do not give importance to these impurities and dirt that you carry with you," continues the wise man. "Exhibiting arrogance on one hand and, on the other, weeping for his grace, both amount to building and strengthening the ego. It is not wrong to want to cleanse yourself, but your approach is wrong," he told Ramanan. It is pointless and is a futile attempt to try to wash it away. "The only way is to throw it into the flames," the wise man says.
Indeed, that is precisely what Agathiyar told a family who came knocking at my door, seeking salvation that never came in all these years of their worship. Agathiyar made it pretty simple for them to unload the sorrow that they carried in them. He did not point them to a guru. Neither did he send them on a trail of carrying out remedies to please both man and the gods. He simply asked them to take matters into their own hands and throw their worries into the burning flame of the Homam that they lit in my home and have it consume it all. He reminded them not to look back but to move forward henceforth.
If the path has been made to seem difficult by men and masters who come by, coming to worship the Siddhas brings on the grace that clears all obstacles, hence paving the way for a smoother ride. Agathiyar tells me that all the benefits from practicing Hatha Yoga were made available to me through my puja and tapas. Both Tavayogi and Agathiyar acknowledged that things were made easier and the methods simplified for me to arrive there. Agathiyar had given a long list of benefits in carrying out Puja in the very beginning of my journey that has seen fruition, which Ramalinga Adigal too sings about having attained via Puja. This answers a devotee's question as to why one should praise the Siddhas. Divine grace that comes by with their worship removes our past karma, as Tavayogi says, and lifts us to the state of a Siddha. As Tavayogi often says, we become what we aspire to be. He asks us, rather than choose things and states that are transitional in nature, why don't we choose to become that which is forever?
I had my first taste of the Arutpa when Mr. Sethu from my office passed me cassettes of the saint's songs that someone had given him. These songs that touched me back then are now songs that touch my soul and have me shed tears of either remorse or bliss. I can connect with the songs of Ramalinga Adigal these days after arriving in the here and now, after experiencing the states that he speaks of.
Recently, I came across a couple of videos on Isaikavi Ramanan again that are equally enlightening.