I thought the excesses in the three Doshas had been purged and cleared for good, and a balance brought to these Doshas, as I have not thrown up phlegm, bile, and wind for some time now. But since a couple of days ago, as the swirling that initially was felt in the navel in 2022, and proceeded to the crown within a couple of days, and that had lingered there, was felt in the seat, a churning of the sea made me throw up again last night. The body has started to ache again. On another note, the sights and sounds are intensified now. The breeze and touch exhilarate me. I can connect with people and nature. I feel others' joy and sadness too. Songs elevate my soul and bring me to tears.
I guess, though, we have stepped into another phase; one has to go back and revisit the former before pursuing further, to understand things better, just as I realized that in going back to my past writing and rereading it, I get new insights and understanding each time. I gain a new perspective and awareness each time. This is why readers might have seen me repeating the subjects that we have covered earlier numerous times.
If we are told that there are four phases that one has to go through, that of Sariyai, Kriyai, Yogam, and Gnanam, and we thought this classification of the journey was distinct and obvious, as in leaving a class and entering another, it might be true on paper, but in reality it is pretty difficult to establish where one phase ends and the other begins or vice versa.
Ramalinga Adigal puts forth the following division. There is Sariyai in Sariyai, Kriyai in Sariyai, Yogam in Sariyai, and Gnana in Sariyai. Similarly, it goes for the other stages too: Sariyai in Kriyai, Kriyai in Kriyai, Yogam in Kriyai, Gnana in Kriyai; Sariyai in Yogam, Kriyai in Yogam, Yogam in Yogam, and Gnana in Yogam; and Sariyai in Gnana, Kriyai in Gnana, Yogam in Gnana, and finally Gnana in Gnana.
But underlying all these stages, phases, and paths is the soul that initially orchestrated the body and breath, and later stood aside, standing as a witness, as our ego goes on either trashing everything on its path or swallowing them, in wanting to conquer and rule, in going after its unquenchable desires, and chasing targets, achievements, and scores, and in the final lap comes to surender to the soul which then leads us to know and fulfil our true purpose here before we merge into the One existence finally.
For most of us, the soul that goes into hiding after initiating the process of creating an abode for itself only comes into the forefront when the time is up to vacate the abode that is in decay and rot. They never get to know their soul. When Agathiyar comes, he speaks to our soul the JeevAtma in us. When my mother-in-law was ill, he asked her to ask her soul what it wanted. As she and the others did not understand what Agathiyar meant, she replied that she only wanted to recover (and live longer). When my mother was on her deathbed, she told me that she wanted to sleep. I knew that she wanted to leave. Agathiyar took her with him. When someone finally passed away after being bedridden for 2 years, Agathiyar asked his next of kin what he was to do as the soul had quit the fight, surrendered, and asked to be taken. Jnana Jothiamma, too, said Agathiyar gave up the fight, as he put her through the transition and transformation required to go through to become Light. He took her with her. He told her she would come back into a royal family and attempt to attain what she missed here and now. So when a close one is nearing his or her death, look beyond the relationship and bond. Respect the soul if it wants to leave.
It is only in some that the soul comes to guide them away from the false and have them search for that which is true in this very life. The soul comes as an external guru and eventually becomes one's own guru. This is where the guru comes to point out the soul in us. And so begins another journey of gathering various experiences, and eventually realizing that we are not affected the least, as the Soul that is pure and taintless, is in fact an expression of the very divinity Param. We realize that we are the One. Tavayogi pointed me to Agathiyar as the Jothi that resides in me too and asked that I worship Agathiyar in the abode of my heart and not worship him (Tavayogi). Agathiyar, on his part, asked us to know our soul or JeevAtma and Sivam or Existence.
Pandit Gopi Krishna, writing in his "Kundalini - Path to Higher Consciousness", Orient Paperbacks, 1976, describes this existence as "An existence which is absolutely removed from everything in this world, an endless inexpressible wonder that can only be experienced and not described."