Going back to review what was written about silence in these blog postings, I was surprised to come across a piece dated Tuesday, 28 May 2019 that I couldn't remember having written.
Agathiyar told me,
"You understand very well and have made it known in your writings numerous times. I am available to my devotees through the good gestures you and your wife have made and the facilities built and made available around you. You have provided them access to me in your home for many years of your worship. I come because of you. I make myself present to all because of your worship. I want them to worship me just as you worshipped me all these years. I, too, want to move into their homes. I, too, want to move into their hearts. I want to be constantly with them 24/7. But they have to invite me first. Only if they invite me with an open heart can I visit and settle in their homes and hearts."
Shortly after having given this message to his devotees who frequented AVM, he brought the shutters down days before Deepavali. This was followed by the lockdown that came on the heels of the pandemic the following year.
Post pandemic, Agathiyar got me all excited over the Guru Purnima Puja on 21 July 2024, and also about our 60th wedding that Agathiyar was practically organizing for my wife and me. What did we do to deserve his love, kindness, and attention? Days before, he intercepted a phone call and gave instructions on how we were to carry it out. He mentioned that both my gurus, Supramania Swami and Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal, would grace the wedding. I was to pay homage to them. He asked that I carry out the Siddha puja first before moving on to the wedding. He asked that we sing from the "Siddhar Paadal Thoguppu," or compilation of songs in praise of the Siddhas that I had prepared for my personal home puja in 2007. He asked that I light the homam. Both my wife and I were to carry out a libation to his statue and that of Lobama with milk. We were to exchange the garland next. We were asked to speak to those gathered about our experiences traveling the path and about the Siddhas. The night before, he surprised me by giving me the script too. He had me take out a blank sheet of paper and write it down. As the words came through, I understood them. I then kept it aside. I never went back to reading it until the next day. It was indeed a wonderful message that he had me write down and deliver. In asking us who Agathiyan is, he explains the journey of transformation into him, or rather, to rediscover him in us. He poses the questions to us and answers them, too.
"Who is Agathiyan? You are. I am. True. We are all Agathiyan. The Jothi or flame in us is Agathiyan. He resides as the fire, flame, heat, and warmth in us. He is Esan. He is the Esan who resides within. Why is it that we do not realize or feel him? It is because we have not attained the state of preparedness or readiness to realize him. Once our soul attains this state, we shall begin to realize him. How can we attain this state of preparedness? First, we have to travel this path. We need to travel to the places and abodes of the Siddhas, witness their miracles, enter the states of bliss, and bring back these feelings and work on them, nurturing them. The Siddha shall come down. When we follow their directives, they shall walk with us, holding our hands. This travel then shall not be that of an external but of an internal journey. Yoga is the key to this travel within. From Sariyai arriving at Kriyai, now they shall teach Yogam. The journey within shall begin. You shall witness happenings. You shall see many things. It would be puzzling to you. It would be new to you, too. Continuing this internal journey, you shall arrive at each Chakra and eventually see the cosmic dance of Thillai in Sahasrara. A 1000-petaled flower will keep on opening up continuously. Arutjothi will come to reside here. Then its effulgence enters within, and just as the Kundalini upon awakening traverses each Chakra purifying them, this effulgence brings on the shine and luminosity. Jothi Darisanam takes place where one sees the light or effulgence. The body takes on the same. Vibrations begin to emit within and around us and are felt by those tuned to receive and feel them. They shall follow you. You become a Jeeva Mukta, having attained Mukti while living in the flesh. Henceforth, you are no different from Agathiyan, and Agathiyan is no different from you. You are me, and I am you."