REST NOT TILL WE ACHIEVE

After heeding the call and following the path of the Siddhas, what have I learned I ask myself? Taking up the call by Agathiyar through a Nadi reading, he arranged for me to witness a Siddha puja on the pretext of paying homage to the Nadi and its authors that was read to me. I realize now that that was my introductory lesson in worship to the Siddhas. Nadi Nool Aasan Sentilkumar of Avinashi who read the Nadi in Malaysia, in 2002, lead me on a simple recitation of the Siddha names and praise to them. Receiving a picture of Agathiyar and armed with a small booklet containing these names and songs I began worship to the Siddhas.

The following year I saw myself in India to clear my backlog of debts or karma accumulated throughout the numerous births I took. I was mysteriously aided by the divine forces in seeing through these remedies at selected temples shown by Agathiyar in the Nadi. These remedies included making donations to priests and the poor besides feeding them and the animals. I realize now that that was my introductory lesson in doing charity to others. Returning home it continued in many small ways.

Before I returned home Agathiyar showed me, my first guru, Supramania Swami too. A bond was tied and cemented between the guru and his disciple. The next two years saw me learn under his tutelage over the phone and through snail mail, though the vast Indian Ocean separated us. He showed me discipleship to a guru by example. I realize now that that was my introductory lesson in learning to pay respect to the Guru. He was the right person to show me by example on the guru-disciple relationship for he has had 5 gurus over various periods of time.

In 2005 Agathiyar shows me to a guru on the Siddha path. I met Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal in Malaysia. A bond was cemented and I followed him to his Kallar Ashram a month after he returned. He took me to the abodes, caves, and jungles where the Siddha moved and stayed in, including the caves and places he stayed in while traveling as a mendicant. I was given the rare experience and shown numerous miracles that saw my belief in them strengthen. Tavayogi taught me the rituals in the worship to the Siddhas, something he did at his ashram grounds too. I realize now that that was my introductory lesson in undertaking rituals. Armed with worship and acts of charity, also shown by him, I took them back into the confines of my home and my streets respectively.

The year 2006 saw the demise of my first guru. Agathiyar passed me on fully in the care of Tavayogi. The years 2007, 2008, 2010 saw Tavayogi making further visits to Malaysia where I spent much of my time in his company. Tavayogi introduced Yoga officially to me and several others in 2008 by gifting us, in the words of Agathiyar, "a treasure." Agathiyar then sent many youngsters to my home beginning in 2013 to witness the rituals I undertook. They began participating in the ritual puja and charity too. We progressed under the guidance of the gurus, their teachings, and through practices given by them. We saw many transformations that came by walking the path. These were both in the body and in the idealogy behind the Marga or path. Soon belief turned into undisputed faith in the Siddhas. With that came numerous offers of gifts, positions, and powers. But we chose not to accept them.

Having taken their word as gospel and traveled the path, traveling some 18 years now, following all their dictates and directives that came through their Nadi and through the gurus and through others, we then came to a crossroad upon the demise of Tavayogi. With the gurus going into samadhi, where do we head from here? With the Nadi reading becoming more spaced out and far apart, who do we turn to for guidance? We can either stop where we stood and stagnate, carrying out what was shown and taught to us, doing it till the end or further the journey into unchartered terrain, blindly. While many might opt to remain with these gifts, that were in the nature of possession of the Nadi, running movements or Peedhams, the gift and ability to heal, performing Siddhis, and other practices and rituals, we chose to move on and to travel further. As we continued to walk the path alone, the Siddhas then began to guide us personally, by drawing the bridge down that linked our world with theirs. We saw tremendous information and transformations channeled directly through their devotees and other mediums. Finally, we arrived at the question - What have the Siddhas envisioned for us?

Having participated actively in Sariyai, Kriyai and Yogam, where are we to head next? Agathiyar confirmed a wild guess we had. We were headed for Gnana. But it is not something gifted as in all the previous offers and prizes that they were willing to shower on us. We had to work for it said Agathiyar. We had to place effort in it said Ramalinga Adigal. They went on to guide us on the means to attain it. Since we do not carry any desire nor had we opted to receive their gifts, the Siddhas drew the curtain of Maya aside and showed us the true objective and purpose in taking birth. I am pretty sure that both my gurus Supramania Swami and Tavayogi are delighted in seeing us ask for Gnanam for they had always been talking to us of the need to attain that state.

With our gurus with us, even as they are in the subtle form now, we shall march towards attaining the goal set by the Siddhas for us. They have very clearly told us that they do not want us to remain forever as devotees worshipping them. That would be akin to replacing the worship of all the Gods and Goddesses in temples with the images and idols of the Siddhas in our homes or temples. They want us to move on and take up Yogam that shall bring us to the threshold of Gnanam. Attaining Gnanam they want to see us as Siddhas too. They shall never rest till their job is done, says Ramalinga Adigal. So too should not we strive to fulfill their desires and wishes in seeing us at par or excel them. This shall then be the greatest gift we can possibly give them, joining their brotherhood.

THE GREATEST TREASURE

The greatest treasure is having good health throughout your lifespan. Blessed are those who are given this treasure. As I returned from a medical checkup recently the doctor briefed me on the results. He was extremely pleased with what he saw and asked me to continue my lifestyle as it is. Upon returning home with the results I laid it before Agathiyar and thanked him for keeping me well.

From https://www.kidney.org/ and https://gonzaba.com/ I gather more information on reading the results of such similar tests.

• Creatinine is a waste product that comes from the normal wear and tear on muscles of the body. When the kidneys are damaged, they have trouble removing creatinine from your blood.

• Everyone has protein in their blood. But it should only be in your blood, not your urine. Albumin is a type of protein that your body needs. But it should be in the blood, not the urine. Having protein in your urine may mean that your kidneys are not filtering your blood well enough. This can be a sign of early kidney disease.

• A GFR below 60 is a sign that the kidneys are not working properly. Once the GFR decreases below 15, one is at high risk for needing treatment for kidney failure, such as dialysis or a kidney transplant.

• Acidity (pH) is a measure of the amount of acid in the urine. A pH that is above normal may be a sign of kidney stones, urinary infections, kidney problems, or other disorders.

• Glucose (sugar) is usually a sign of diabetes.

• Bilirubin is a waste product from the breakdown of old red blood cells. It is normally removed from the blood by the liver. Its presence in the urine may be a sign of liver disease.

• Blood in the urine can be a sign of an infection, a kidney problem, certain medicines, or even heavy exercise.

• Hematology tests include tests on the blood, blood proteins and blood-producing organs. Increased white blood cells are common in people fighting infection or suffering from anemia. Decreased blood cells can be the result of receiving chemotherapy treatments, chronic inflammatory diseases, blood loss and some types of cancer.

• Dehydration, congestive heart failure and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease can all cause an increase in hemoglobin levels, while blood loss, anemia, liver disease and lymphoma can result in a decrease.

• Increased platelet levels can be the result of inflammatory conditions such as trauma, acute infection and a number of malignant cancers. Decreases in platelet levels can occur from anemia, coagulation disorders such as sickle cell anemia, alcohol toxicity and infection.

I am blessed to have come by many angels in human form who came in a timely manner to save or heal me and my family. These included deities in a trance, shamans or medicine men, priests or religious heads or figures, Siddha and Ayurvedic practitioners, and medical doctors and now the Siddhas and the divine too. I was saved by the Chinese gods to whom my parents gave me in adoption the moment they found me to be purging due to diarrhea. As they had lost two of my brothers earlier, they did not want to go through the ordeal again and sought help from a neighbor who used to go into a trance and heal others. I was saved. I then frequented him for all my ailments until I was bitten by a dog when I turned 13. I remember vividly how the Chinese man would hit his bare back with the blunt edge of a sword as he recited and chanted mantras. He then would burn a strip of yellow rice paper onto which he writes in red ink some writings. The ash is collected in a glass of water and given to me to drink. It was indeed a magical portion for I was always cured. 

Then as we grew up we witnessed deities come onto others and deliver panacea and solutions for all ills and sufferings. The Muslim men of faith too used to tie strings around the wrist and give water into which Holy verses are recited. The Buddhist monks too aided by tying strings around the wrist to ward off dangers or to heal and blessing the water. Being from a missionary school we sought the blessings of the visiting father and brothers of Christian faith at school too. These days the Siddhas and the divine too come through others to heal and deliver medicines and cures. As a child, I attended Thevaram classes, listened to stories of Buddha told to us at the Buddhist Vihara next door, learned the Gospel through correspondence via the snail mail, and had a lively brother of Pakistan origin share stories of his Messenger of God while accompanying me on our daily morning bus trip to college. My early exposure to all these faiths helped me not to distinguish them as different but instead made me see one God serving his children through many faiths. Then when I dropped by at a Chinese temple to pay my respects to my Godfather, I was aroused to check out my horoscope by way of shaking a container of sticks till one stick drops out of it. These sticks are numbered. The number on the stick drawn is referred to a big journal where predictions are delivered. I was told that I had guardian angels looking our my shoulder. Moving forward to 2002 Agathiyar reveals himself as guardian and guru. I am blessed. What more can a man ask for? I am forever indebted to God and his missionaries, archangels and guardians. The rest of my days shall be spent in doing their work. This is the least I can do in return for a good life.

PRAISES TO THE GURU

Ram Dass in his book "Miracle of Love - Stories about Neem Karoli Baba", a Dutton Paperback, 1979, says that the guru is an alliance of human and the divine. This is one man who is very clear of his vision of a guru and knew how to draw the line. He says of his guru, "He did what was necessary to quiet the mind and open the heart so that the thirst that had drawn us all to him could be slaked."

Ram Dass speaks about his guru in his "physical absence". 

On September 11, 1973, he died, or, as the Indians would say, he left his body. In the succeeding years, I have found that the absence of his body has not diminished his influence upon my life. This suggested the possibility that others who had never “met” him in the body could similarly be touched by him. This suspicion has been confirmed by a surprisingly large number of people who have re-ported that through books, lectures, tapes, and personal contact with devotees, they have experienced him in a way that has graced their lives.

Those of us who were with Maharajji meet again frequently in India or in the West. The conversation invariably turns to recollections of him. Story after story pours forth, and each story is punctuated with silence, laughter, or expostulations as we savor its depth and elegance. In those moments the space becomes rich with the living spirit and we know that he is among us.

My relationship with Tavayogi that began in 2005 too was very professional all the years we knew each other, he being the guru and me a student, I think, for he never claimed any of us as his disciples. It was only in 2016 when he was addressing a small group of us in the confines of the home of a wonderful elderly couple, Balachander Aiya and Shanti Amma's home that he spoke of me as a disciple who knew how to respect and praise the guru. I was blessed to hear those words come out from his lips, an accreditation from a guru that a student has qualified himself to become a disciple. I remember he had said that the guru shall test the student for 12 long years before parting with him any of his knowledge. I had earned his recognition in my 11th year.

I learned how a student should relate to his master from my first guru Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai who himself had 5 gurus over time. I learned by observing him speak about his gurus especially Yogi Ramsuratkumar and the many moments with him. I saw the love and respect he had for his guru. I saw how he took the advice of his guru in all matters. He lost himself to his guru. His guru moved in him, hence he and the Yogi became one in those instances. 

Although both my gurus have shed their mortal frame they live in our homes, our thoughts, and our hearts. There is never a day where we do not speak about them or mention them in reference and reverence. Many came to Tavayogi's ashram in Kallar after reading his story or rather our story online. One of them was Jnana Jhotiamma. She came, she saw and was conquered by the compassion shown by both Tavayogi and Agathiyar. She changed her whole life around 360 degrees and began to visit all the abodes of Agathiyar and only spoke about him and his Lila and miracles. A journey that began in 2011 upon her first visit to Kallar ended abruptly in 2016. But it was packed with so many stories of the divine and his intervention in her life. I had written a biography of hers based on the many emails she sent, the hours we spoke on Skype, and the video and audios she shared. But as her life took a sudden turn and Agathiyar took her back, I hesitate to release it. She shall stay in our memories for years to come.

We too share many recollections of our masters who have begun to take center stage in our lives. They have become the idol of our lives. The environment is charged in these moments where we run through their stories. If Tavayogi was well known as a guru in the Siddha circle, Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai was only known as an astrologer to those who sought him out. I too came to him on the pretext of having my daughter's horoscope charted. He tuned out to be the guru Agathiyar had indicated. There is not much I knew of him except for the much treasured moments I spent with him some 5 hours in 2003 where he spoke briefly about his gurus. Later in 2005, his family filled me up with the missing pieces of his live before I came to him.

Supramania Swami, Tavayogi and Agathiyar are akin to the Trimurthis in my life. The cosmic functions of creation, maintenance, and destruction are personified in a lesser form as this triad of gurus, Supramania Swami, the creator, Tavayogi, the destroyer, and Agathiyar the preserver. If prior to meeting him, I had dwelled in Sariyai carried on from our ancestors and taught and shown by my parents, Supramania Swami led me into a new and alien concept that of paying homage and respect to another man, a man who has transformed himself into his divine self, as Ram Dass said, "an alliance of human and the divine". Tavayogi came to break all the norms and believes that I carried with me. Agathiyar brought me to have faith in him that sustains us to this day. Agathiyar walked alongside me for some distance and then decided to step onto my path in 2002 in the form of a Nadi reading. As he stood before me in the Nadi I had nowhere to go except grab him. I never let him go after that. He too never left me out of his sight. Just as Ram Dass quotes, "A moment with the Beloved And the river changes its course", my gurus were instrumental in bringing numerous changes in me. The moment the guru waded the waters the river changed its course. I could change my ways too because I listened. If I had resisted it would not have happened. 

Ram Dass describes the fist visit to Neem Karoli Baba and how the saint exposed him.

“You were out under the stars last night. You were thinking about your mother. She got very big in the stomach before she died. Spleen, she died of spleen.”

My mind began to race faster and faster to try to get leverage - to get a hold on what he had just done. I went through every super - CIA paranoia I'd ever had: “Who is he? Who does he represent? Where’s the button he pushes to make the file appear? Why have they brought me here?" None of it would jell. It was just too impossible that this could have happened this way. My traveling companion didn't know about any of the things Maharajji was saying, and I was a tourist in a car. The whole thing was just inexplicable. My mind went faster and faster, My mind just gave up. It burned out its circuitry, its zeal to have an explanation. At the same moment I felt this extremely violent pain in my chest and a tremendous wrenching feeling, and I started to cry. I cried and cried and cried, but I was neither happy nor sad. It was a kind of crying I had not experienced before. The only thing I could say about it was it felt as if I had finished something. The journey was over. I had come home. 

This was my state too when I first sat before the Nadi and had by life exposed in those pages. Agathiyar called me to his path. I had come home to one who knew me. The next time it was at Supramania Swami's village home where he exposed me again. Borrowing Ram Dass's words, "My traveling companion didn't know about any of the things Maharajji was saying, and I was a tourist in a car", I too was a traveling tourist chauffeured by the Swami's relative Deva. He could not possibly know for I had never shared anything personal with Deva. He only knew that I was there on a pilgrimage of several specific temples listed by Agathiyar in the Nadi where I had to do certain prayers to appease the stars and relieve my past karma. I sat with him, oblivious of the passing hours,  till the day was stole by night and we saw the light diminish into darkness. I spent 5 hours with him, crying throughout the time, for the blessings the divine bestowed on me. Over the years when we begin to realize that nothing escapes them we tend to feel very naked. He knows all. He sees all. So why are we pushing ourselves so hard trying to put on a show? 

If initially, we all went seeking him, these days he seeks us out. As Ram Dass wrote, "In the words of Dada, “We all think we are chasing the guru, but really, you see, he is chasing us", we see him literally chasing us to perform now telling us that the honeymoon days are over and that we have had enough of talk and listening to talks and speeches. He is asking us to put into action and put into practice his directives, given as updates on a regular basis. Believe brings you to seek. Miracles are show openers and only happen till you begin to have faith either on the guru or his path. Agathiyar has moved us from showing miracles to giving us experiences. We are always taught to seek the results, never told to concentrate on the process. Here Agathiyar never reveals the target nor the results but gives us assignments to carry out diligently. In the event, we fail or flop he tells us that there are no failures - only experiences to be gained. When Tavayogi repeated the same speeches that of asking all to come to the path, at all events I asked him the reason for not moving on. He replied with another question, "Are you following what I said this far?", referring to the people whom he addressed. We followed his directives and those of Agathiyar. Agathiyar then took us speedily through all the parts of the journey, Sariyai, Kriyai, and has brought us to the fifth anga of Yogam now. We await eagerly his next assignment. 

WE SHALL NEVER KNOW

"Our lives are richer when we share, and that great inner joy comes from helping others to better their lives. Achieving meaning, fulfillment, and happiness in life comes from making others happy, and not from being self-centered." (https://www.themindfulword.org/2014/joy-of-giving)

“To find yourself, lose yourself in the service of others.” - "Mahatma Gandhi.

"In any profession when you lose yourself you become the art." - AR Rahman (The Creative Indians)

Last Sunday, as I was at my computer blogging as usual and my younger daughter was cleaning up the mess my 3-year-old granddaughter had made after playing with the Play Sand, a lady stood at the gate to my daughter's home. My daughter inquired what she wanted. She wanted a donation. I stepped out. She began by telling me that her husband was undergoing dialysis and that she needed money for the fare. I told her that what I give will only take care of that day and that she needed a long term solution. I asked for her name and contact number and told her that we had a charity group Persatuan Teman Setia (PTS) that could help with her groceries and food too. But she replied that God had taken care of them well and just needed some fast cash. She added that she was laid off due to the Covid-19 pandemic and would join another job in a week's time. I gave her a small amount. She needed. I had. I gave. It was a hot afternoon as she walked away with the money. I prayed that the amount was sufficient and that she would head back straight home rather than sourcing more funds on that hot afternoon. 

I never expected her to turn up again. But she did come by today to say "Thank You". I was not at home then. She had asked for me from my wife. When my wife informed me about her visit, I called her up. She told me that when she returned home that Sunday, her husband was in pretty bad shape and was rushed to the hospital. He died soon after that and was cremated the following day. Again she did not ask for anything else. She came by to pass on the news of her husband's death and to thank me and let me know that the money served its purpose in bringing him to the hospital, although they could not save him. He was relieved of his five-year ordeal.

When she stood before me that day I thought that one has to be really desperate to knock on another's door for aid. Every man and woman has some dignity. They would rather go hungry then to beg. But when there is no other option or choice available and especially when they have to save a life or feed a child they drop their dignity and bring themselves to ask. I am happy that I chose to help her instead of ignoring her.

In helping others over the years through various platforms, we realized that we had created a bond between the giver and the receiver for when PTS stopped delivering food and groceries during the Covid-19 pandemic lockdown, and after it was lifted, and Pothihai Tharma Chakram (PTC) offered to continue the families had asked about our absence. It brings us joy in realizing that we did indeed make an impact on their lives for they do remember us. 

Joy is in giving. God has kept me well, hale, and healthy. As it had been 3 years since I had a medical checkup, and as the doctor told me I was eligible for a free medical checkup, I signed on last Thursday. The results were made known on Monday. I was given a clean slate. The doctor was quite surprised at seeing the results and could not help but compliment and asked that I continue to take care of my health as it was rare for one who was turning 61 to have kept the all too common chronic diseases at bay. I am well because of my Lord. How do I repay his kindness? In BBC World's Joanna Lumley in Japan, a monk tells her "In the east, we say that you are reborn at 61 years which means going back to zero, so we celebrate this year." I celebrate too that he has kept me well all these years. I am back being an infant now beginning the next phase of my journey.

Each parent should learn to worship and pray. It might not be necessary for you right now but when you have a family to raise and your child screams in the middle of the night and you have done all that needs to be done, done what the grannies and nannies have told you, what the blogs and web sites tell you, what you gather from YouTube and yet you are lost, you either head for the nearest emergency ward, temple or healer for help. If you are miles away from them you need immediate assurance that all shall be fine. God gives you that assurance. You can rely on him to give you strength in these moments. A simple dash of the sacred ash on the baby's forehead with faith will calm the child and you down. But what we do is to rush and knock the door of another devotee who puts in hours of worship hoping that he can do miracles. Bring that miracle to happen through you. Harness the energy that God is willing to pass on and heal yourself and your family without seeking outside help in these critical moments. A Siva devotee after taking poison stood at the door of the famed late Jeeva Nadi reader of Chennai Hanumathdasan, was saved from death when Agathiyar told him to pass on the sandalwood paste in his altar to the man to consume. A woman and her daughter were relieved of her stomach ache and failing eyesight respectively when Bhogar came to treat them with herbs in Kollimalai. Many are such stories that we have come across where devotees have been saved by God just because they worshiped him. So pick up whatever you can and start worship at the altar of your home. 

MAKING OTHERS HAPPY

As I browsed through YouTube looking for stories that my 3-year-old granddaughter and I could watch, I came across this video that brought on a powerful message about the act of giving. A caterpillar decided to give away its shoes once he sensed that he had to stop walking around and end that ferocious appetite and go into hibernation. He was to turn into a pupa and a butterfly later, and take on a new mode of travel. How considerate of the caterpillar to pass on to others what had come useful to it earlier, as it evolved further.

It reminded me of Supramania Swami telling me, apart from what we have heard the wise say that we shall not take anything with us when our time is up,  that we cannot even take along our live long achievements and merits from our years of austerities or Tapas. We have to leave that behind too.

Although it is just a story we could learn a thing or two from this wonderful story. We are reminded in this story to stop going around in circles, having an appetite to read and a yearning to seek knowledge about the divine after some time, and to instead empty ourselves of all the previously acquired knowledge and to go within into a state of hibernation, where the divine then comes subtly to fill us with his teachings. When we are ready, we emerge from hibernation to become a beautiful butterfly too. 

We should learn to let go. We should learn to give. The more we give the more the universe provides for us. Ramalinga Adigal says it beautifully "போதும் என்ற மனமே பொன் செய்யும் மருந்து" and goes on to explain its meaning. "நீ போதும் என்று சொல்லும் நிலை உன்னை அறியாமல் நீ பெற்றுக்கொண்டுதான் இருக்கிறாய்."

Cherish what we have. The greatest gift is the gift of life. The next would be the gift of contentment and satisfaction. The greatest treasure is good health. With these three coming together one shall find peace and calm that we all are yearning for. But what we see is a neverending need to accumulate more for the self and kins. Watching the Tv series "Merlin", even the troll wants power and riches that come with the throne to Camelot. The Asuras plundered the people in the mythical stories told to us. Ravana, a devout Shiva devotee wanted to overrule Lord Shiva after gaining boons from him, gifted by Shiva as rewards for his austerities or tapas. What is then to be said of men who run after these too? Troops and armies plundered villages and rode off with women, grains, and treasures; kings of the empires of past conquered their neighbors for their riches; pirates took over merchant ships that carried gems and riches; even the cartoon and comic characters want power and control over the world. We think that these riches shall bring contentment and happiness to us. Yes, they do but only momentarily. Then we strive to gain more and more. We shall never be satisfied. True bliss is when you are not in pain, having no misery, not on any medication, and do not have any debts. This is the state of bliss, peace, and calm. Treasure these moments for even good things shall come to an end. All good things come when we stop asking. When we stop asking the prapanjam gives us what it thinks is necessary for us. Fear not for it is said that on each grain is written our name. If something is destined for us no one can stop it from reaching us or take it away. Instead of asking everything and regretting them later, let the universe provide for us as and when it deems necessary. 

In the above song we cannot but laugh at man for seeking riches from Lord Muruga when the very Lord has left everything behind and stands in a loincloth. 

கைலாய மலையில் சுகமாய் இடம் இருந்தது
ஞான கனியாலே ஐயா உனக்கும் இடர் எழுந்தது ...
பழனி மலையில் கோவணம் தவிர எது இருந்ததது
தெய்வமே ஆசையைத் துறந்து மண்ணில் எழுந்தது
வேண்டுதல் காணிக்கை சுமையோ வந்து குவிந்தது ....

In the following song penned by Thiruvasagapithar Divakar Ayya, again we are shamed for the greed that we harbor within rather than harboring his thoughts. While we are seeking riches from him he walks the earth clothed as a mendicant.

இகலோக வாழ்வில் உடன் இருப்பான்
ஆயினும் பரலோக வாழ்வதற்கு வழி அமைப்பான் ...
சுகவாசியாய் இருப்பான் அம்பலத்து பொதுவினிலே
அவனே பரதேசியாய் திரிவான் அடியார்கள் நடுவினிலே

Let these wonderful songs sink in us and stir the depths of our hearts to begin to give and not harbor greed and seek more riches. Let us make others happy by giving a portion of what we have. 

A REMINDER TO THE SELF TO WAKE UP

Songs penned by Sadhu Om, from his "Sri Ramana Gitam" published by Arunachala Ramana Nilaiyam, and Sri Ramanasramam. Sriram Parthasarathy who has brought out Sadhu Om's songs on his channel has penned and composed a song on the mind too.

And he pays a tribute to Sadhu Om by singing more songs of his.

WE ARE BEING WATCHED 2

I began to realize that we are being watched when Agathiyar spelled out the present and my past and threw a bonus by predicting my future. I was amazed and felt guilty too at the same time for the faults I did. But he immediately relieved me of my guilt telling me that it was his doing too so that I could have the experience and learn from it. But as the damage was done I needed to do damage control by going on a pilgrimage to carry out several remedies to appease the souls whom I had harmed and appease both the planets and the Gods. He saw and recorded my pilgrimage and the remedies I did, for he came back to tell me that I had done them well and to their satisfaction. 

The next instant I knew he was watching was when he lectured me on anger management for close to an hour in my Nadi reading and put me to test immediately. He had someone double-park his car alongside mine on a Sunday where the streets were empty and there were ample parking lots where he could have slotted his car in. I had just finished my reading to step into my car when I was tested on my patience. I blew my top with the scorching heat of the afternoon burning my skin and hunger pangs starting an inferno burning in my internal furnace too. My family though were having a field day at my expense looking towards the skies to see it Agathiyar had fitted CCTV's. This was followed by a confrontation with a Radio DJ who went overboard to advise my children on the need to uphold culture in the middle of our search for food to appease our hunger. Never advise a hungry man. I blasted him as he made his escape. Agathiyar was watching the events and smiling away. I had failed the test terribly that day.

Agathiyar asks me to build a temple besides aiding in helping others construct them in my first Nadi reading in 2002. As it was not feasible to build a new one in Malaysia then, I opted to ask the existing temple committees a place to house Agathiyar but none came to my aid. I dropped the thought. Instead, I agreed to help my first guru Supramania Swami with his desire to build one when he approached me.  But that desire was short-lived as a stranger appeared at his door and stopped him from pursuing his 40-year desire. Next, I went along with Tavayogi to see his mission materialize in building a temple/ ashram at Kallar, something he told me was done for the people and that Agathiyar came to endorse later that he moved Tavayogi to build it. Lord Murugan comes to ask me to build a temple for him in a Nadi reading in 2018 assuring me that it would be different, hence justifying the need to build another among the many already existing temples. I never moved to comply. He sends Agathiyar to talk me into it. I remain silent. Agathiyar says he would do it giving a grace period of 18 months. As time drew up he tells me it was not necessary to move in another Nadi reading. Later he tells me that it was all a test to see if I complied with their wishes. I guess I passed the test. Recently Lord Shiva comes along to say that although they had asked to stay put it was now necessary to move and added that he shall see to it. I have left it to the divine will. I am amazed at their network and how they are all aware of what is taking place.

Sensing the moment was right for me to come out of my 14-year hibernation staying away from forms of worship and reading of spiritual books, that was asked of by Lord Shiva in 1988, the divine sends a message through a saint Gopal Pillai who came through his disciple. This message and initiation were passed on by my nephew who was following this Paramaguru. I started worship to Lord Dhakshanamurthy and Lord Narayanan and observed the Navarathri puja. I am amazed at their network and how they are all aware of what is taking place.

When Agathiyar sets me to read Tavayogi's book to understand better the tattvas that rule over us, before I embark on going within, Ramalinga Adigal comes along to ask me if I did what Agathiyar had instructed. I am amazed at their network and how they are all aware of what is taking place.

I suppose in the absence of a guru another takes over. I suppose when a guru is not available another stands in. We are never left alone. we are constantly watched over. Indeed I am amazed at their network and how they are all aware of what is taking place. 

WE ARE BEING WATCHED 1

If only now the local authorities in major towns are beginning to place CCTV's to monitor crime in its streets, but the divine has always had an eye on us. Laws are introduced to curb crime now but in those days we were told to listen to our Mana Satchi or the witness in us.  He came as Mana Satchi or the witness in us. The saints often spoke to their Manam reminding it continually of the impermanence of life and all that is associated with it. These days no one talks about this Manam and Mana Satchi. It has been hidden away from the public, sent into oblivion. Hence the need to have laws to restrain and discipline man as his conscience, in short, has been buried deep in the reaches of the heart never to arise again. 

Sadhu Om has written numerous songs that have addressed the Manam reminding it of the presence of God that supersedes all other love and desires. It would serve to know the man first before we go into his works. We learn about the Sadhu from http://sadhuom.net/, http://www.arunachalasamudra.org and https://realization.org/

Sadhu Om in search for a genuine Guru, first read about Ramana in Suddhananda Bharati’s book "Sri Ramana Vijayam". When he went to the Ramakrishna Mutt, in Chennai and told the President that he was in search of Truth and asked for guidance, the President seeing his yearning asked him to visit Sri Ramana Maharshi. At that time he was living and working at Thanjavur, Tamil Nadu. He wanted to know if there was anyone who visited Tiruvannamalai so that he can join them and make a visit. Enquiring from friends about Sri Ramana, he was directed to Janaki Mata who used to regularly visit Sri Ramanashram with her friends. Hearing this Sadhu Om along with the friend went to her place. He entered the house and asked her when she was planning to go next and if he could join her? She replied that they would be leaving for Tiruvannamalai next week. When he was about to return, she said that they are going to recitate the Sri Arunachala Akshara Mana Malai. He sat and joined them in singing. He was so attracted by the depth of the prayer, that he was thrilled and his yearning to visit Tiruvannamalai increased. 

On 6th July, 1946, Sadhu Om went with Janaki Mata to meet Sri Bhagavan. Everyone went into the hall where Sri Bhagavan was sitting and prostrated before him. When Sadhu Om went up to prostrate before Sri Bhagavan, he saw only Sri Bhagavan's empty seat. Thinking that Sri Bhagavan had gone out without his noticing, he prostrated before the seat. When Sadhu Om got up, he saw a dense mass of light appear which gradually took the form of Sri Bhagavan's physical body. In this way, Sri Bhagavan revealed His Nirguna Sath Swaroopa for Sri Swamigal on his very first visit.

Sadhu Om describes the very first moment he lay his sight on Bhagavan Sri Ramana in an interview in "Arunachala Ramana".

"When I entered the hall I wanted to see Bhagavan [Ramana] but I only saw a sofa and no one sitting on it. I was surprised to see, however, that everyone else was doing namaskarams towards that sofa. When I was hesitating whether to do namaskarams, I began to notice the vague outline of a human figure sitting on the sofa. At once I prostrated. When I got up, I saw that vague figure slowly solidifying and becoming clear. Then only was I able to recognise it as Sri Bhagavan."

A couple of weeks later, Sadhu Om went back to Sri Ramanasramam to have the darshan of Sri Bhagavan. He sat on a rock on Arunachala composing poems on Sri Bhagavan under the title, Vetkai [Divine longing]. After composing the 7th poem, he realised it was breakfast time, and he quickly went to the Ashram dining hall. He entered the dining hall and seeing that Sri Bhagavan was eating there, he sat in front of Sri Bhagavan, and started eating. When Sri Bhagavan finished his breakfast, he got up from the seat. Seeing this, Sadhu Om also got up, although he had not finished eating. Sri Bhagavan looked at Sadhu Om and said, Vandha Velaiyaip Paar (Look after the business for which you have come). Sadhu Om then sat down, but since he had gotten up while eating, he was reluctant to continue eating. Sri Bhagavan, after washing his hands, was walking alongside the dining hall. Seeing that Sadhu Om was reluctant to eat, he repeated the words, Vandha Velaiyaip Paar. Hearing these words, Sadhu Om started eating again. As Sri Bhagavan went near the entrance and was about to pass over the threshold, Sadhu Om turned back and looked at Sri Bhagavan. Sri Bhagavan also looked at Sadhu Om and uttered the same words, Vandha Velaiyaip Paar, for the third time in succession.

At this point, Sadhu Om realized that the words were Sri Bhagavan's upadesa for him, to look after the business for which he was born in this world.

I can never forget the upadesa I got from my 3-year-old granddaughter recently. As she was seated on the settee, rooted in the kid's series "Masha and the Bear" watching the episodes over and over again, I used to tease her telling her that "I have seen this earlier." She would turn to me and point her finger to a corner telling me, "I am the one watching (that she doesn't mind seeing repeats), you go to your corner" I would then go stand in a corner. She would say "Not there" and direct me to my desk where I have my laptop working on this blog. So one day as she stood in front of the television, I came by and told her the same dialogue as all grandpa's too have been given a script. She was so stressed up that she turned to look up at me and said, "You take care of your life and I shall take care of mine. "நீ உன் வாழ்க்கையை பார்; நான் என் வாழ்க்கையை பார்க்கிறேன்" I was taken aback by this choice of words that came out from a 3-year-old, especially the correct usage of the word "Life" or வாழ்க்கை. I realized then that Agathiyar was telling me to do what I came for and not mess in others life just as Ramana told Sadhu Om "Vandha Velaiyaip Paar" or "வந்த வேலையை பார்"

After Sri Bhagavan left the body, Sadhu Om wanted to come and settle at Tiruvannamalai. He began to write "Sri Ramana Varuhai" meaning "please come Ramana" inviting Bhagavan Ramana. As he wrote verse No 172 Sri Bhagavan appeared before him. Swami thought that it is a dream. Thrice he appeared before him. Bhagavan said “Why you are calling me. You come to my place, Tiruvannamalai.” Sadhu Om had a thought, "What will I do for my food?" A vision of a dining hall where each one serving for themselves was seen. When Sadhu Om arrived at the Ashram, the then Ashram President invited him in, asking him to stay at the Ashram and look after the bookstall. Sadhu Om came to reside at Tiruvannamalai as he had wished for. He stayed there for about thirty years until he passed away in March 1985. He died of a cerebral haemorrhage. He dedicated his entire life to Bhagavan, spreading the teachings of Sri Ramana Maharshi.

Sadhu Om never sought for himself any recognition or appreciation from the world. In fact, his life was a perfect example of strict adherence to the principal precept of Self-enquiry taught by Sage Ramana. 

He shares Ramana's words, driving the nail right into our hearts, a reminder to us too.

"Moreover, according to the great truth discovered and revealed by Sri Ramana Bhagavan, a good person leading a simple yet highly spiritual life and passing away unknown to the world does far more good to the world than all the political and social reformers and all the platform-heroes of philosophy . . .”

LETTING GO

The lyrics to the song "Let It Go" from Disney's "Frozen" is so meaningful and powerful. We too should learn to let it go. 

The snow glows white
On the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation
And it looks like I’m the Queen
The wind is howling
Like this swirling storm inside
Couldn’t keep it in
Heaven knows I tried…

Don’t let them in
Don’t let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal
Don’t feel
Don’t let them know…
Well, now they know!

Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door!
I don’t care what they’re going to say
Let the storm rage on
The cold never bothered me anyway

It’s funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me
Can’t get to me at all!

It’s time to see
What I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong
No rules for me
I’m free!

Let it go! Let it go!
I am one with the wind and sky!
Let it go! Let it go!
You’ll never see me cry!
Here I stand and here I’ll stay
Let the storm rage on…

My power flurries through the air into the ground
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
I’m never going back
The past is in the past!

Let it go! Let it go!
And I’ll rise like the break of dawn!
Let it go! Let it go!
That perfect girl is gone!

Here I stand in the light of day…
Let the storm rage on!!!
The cold never bothered me anyway

Watching the life story of the world-renown mathematician Sakunthala Devi now made into a movie, reminds us of the need to let go in many instances. Here are some instances where we can Let It Go.

• We tend to hold on to the past that then influences the present which then presents the future in an altogether different form. If we learn to let it go, we shall see the present in a different way, unadulterated by things from the past. The future then shall be seen anew too. 
• Let go of the pain and anger. If we can't bring ourselves to forgive another it is all right, but don't carry the bitterness in you. Let go and move on. 
• If you have received an amulet or charm or anything given for a specific purpose, let it go once it has served its purpose. 
• Siddha practitioner Arivan tells me the medicine he gives is meant to be taken for a particular period or number of days. Let it go when the specified period comes to an end. 

Many more are the instances where we are required to let it go if we want to progress ahead.

• Bringing us on pilgrimages, and bringing us to do rituals and charity on the pretext of wiping out karma, Agathiyar brought us to gain merits instead for a better life ahead either in this birth or if time has run out for the next. The karma has to be realized and lived although its full weight, load, and burden shall be lightened to a certain extent. Agathiyar then let us go of our hold on Sariyai and Kriyai too. When your work is done through Sariyai move on to Kriyai with the guidance of a Guru. When the Guru leads you to Yogam use it as a tool to step into Gnanam. Agathiyar tells us that the charity we did, the worship and ritual we did, and conducted, the asanas and pranayama we are doing are all tools and means meant to bring us to the path of Gnanam. When it brings us to our destination it is safe for us to let it go.  Do not carry the temple and the ritual with you. Bringing us to stop rituals and charity Agathiyar tells us that we have sufficient credit hours to take us to the next course or semester. He brings us to Yogam that brings us to the experience of Gnanam. The remaining karma shall burn in the fire of meditation. 

• Tavayogi let us go too. He did not hold us back bringing us to the path, after teaching the path, after showing us the path. Spirit has to be free and cannot be caged by rigid doctrines, its codes, laws and do's and dont's he would always say. 

• Guhai Namasivayar let go of his student Guru Namasivayar the moment the latter saw the curtain catch fire and burn at Tillai Chidambaram temple while with his guru at Tiruvannamalai. The guru knew his student through his tapas had fed the inner fire or Arutjhoti that it burned the veils that hides the Arutperunjhoti. 

If there is one thing that we need to ask to be prolonged it is life, for at least till we attain the state of a Siddha. One on his deathbed would pray asking to be kept alive and save them from death at least till the son or daughter is married for instance or for other reasons. Have they ever prayed to ask to keep them alive to carry on with service to fellow mankind, performing puja for the benefit of all of prapanjam, and to be able to carry on the practice of yogam and eventually attain Gnanam, the state of the Siddha? Our asking to keep our dear ones alive always stops short at to be kept alive to carry on with the worldly affairs, hardly praying for an extended life intended to do God's work here. When we are given an extension in life it is not to carry out our old ways but to see it as a rebirth given to serve him and to go deeper into his teachings and finally attain his state. Tavayogi was stopped from taking his life. He came back to serve Agathiyar. Yogi Ramaiah was stopped from taking his own life. He came back to serve Babaji.

As old age catches up it teaches us to slow down and rewind and enjoy every moment. A child teaches us to slow down too but do we do it. We drag the poor toddler along as we rush with quickened pace from one chore to another. We rush him to swallow the food as we rush off to do another chore or task. We push the smartphone into his face while we spend hours on the phone with another. The time spent in idle talk could be used and well spent playing with the child who is in the prime age of exploring and observing. Learning should come to them through active participation and means and not passive as in sitting before a TV.  

As Agathiyar said much has already been said. Now we shall enter the experience. Hence he hastened us to do charity and puja as if anticipating the lockdown in view of the pandemic and locking down the AVM group sending everyone to plan, execute and experience for themselves now. Life is never the same. We move on to meet new friends. We have new additions to the family circle. Many fade away from sight and mind. It is all about letting go.

The Siddha path is not solely about making magic portions, performing miracles, carrying out Siddhis, healing, or predicting the past or future, although we shall come across all these traveling the path. Nor is it about building Siddha temples, ashrams, and starting peedhams or institutions for the devotees or starting a following like in bhakti or the path of devotion. This is not a place for sightseers, window shoppers, nor spectators, only active participants. Each one on the path has to put into practice what is taught and make it a part of their life and live it out. The ideal of every seeker, aspirant, sadhaka, or devotee of the Siddha path should be to attain the Siddhas state of consciousness.

To believe something is to see from the outside or to look in from the outside. Faith on the other hand comes with experience in stepping onto the path. As one walks the path deeper and deeper into unchartered territories, he develops faith in the divine. As one begins doing acts of dharma, compassion begins to build from within. His heart mellows. He sheds tears for others. Since experience maketh a man we are here to gain that.

NO END TO LEARNING

The readers following the blog from the very first post will understand how we evolved together from being a devotee of the pantheon of gods and goddesses who were introduced by our parents and our ancestors in Sariyai to the path of the Siddhas by a calling through their Nadi. The Siddhas then spoke about karma and sent us out on pilgrimages of specific temples whose deities were capable of changing one's fate. They brought us to do charity so that we shall build compassion in us. With karma out of the way and compassion mellowing in our hearts they brought us to do rituals learning from gurus whom they sent along. Then they brought us out of this stage of Kriya to learn Yogam telling us that Yogam shall eventually lead us to Gnanam.

The full path is thence covered, with initially God as a heavenly body residing in the temples and we as servants doing chores and serving him, and praying for health and wealth and worshipping for favors in Sariyai; he then takes us his children by coming in the role of a Guru in Kriyai, laying a bridge between these two worlds of theirs and ours, making us realize the soul within, teaching all that needs to be known, and praying for the wellbeing of all instead of the individual self and blood relatives. God then comes as a companion in Yogam, giving us practices and techniques to realize him, now within the body and as the self. We can safely let go of our bonds with the temple now as he begins to reside in the temple that we have created for him within this body. We can safely let go of our bonds with the rituals as the ritual takes on a new face as we go within. We then start a new journey, an inner journey grabbing on to Yogam that constitutes the 8 limbs as delivered by Patanjali. Yama and Niyama that was reinforced in the earlier two stages of Sariyai and Kriyai is now imprinted in the self and have become a character of ours. We learn Yoga Asanas and Pranayama, the 3rd and 4th limb of Yoga, bringing discipline both to the body and the breath. The next 4 limbs Pratyahara, Dharaṇa, Dhyana, and finally Samadhi shall come into being with some effort on our part and by the grace of God and Guru. The full path has been laid out in front of us.

Rather than placing our sight on the fruits or results that are all too tempting, or become disillusion seeing the distance that one has to travel to reach the destination, the masters had broken the journey into tiny parts so that we can tend to each matter on hand and after attaining total satisfaction at having made some ground at each stage, only then step into the next portion of the journey. This is where we put in our efforts giving the best and move on following further instructions and directives. The future than takes care of itself for we have tackled the present to our best ability. This brings us to the understanding that the only true and real moment is the present where we are required to pay attention, complete the tasks, fulfill all obligations, leave no stone unturned and never look back after stepping onto the next stone on the journey.

The present moment is where we live out our past karma and also determine our future and our destiny by the very actions we take this very moment. Only in extreme cases does our karma still persist and sets out to influence and determine the moment as fated, bringing to fruition all that is fated to happen too. It is then so strong that it veils our free choice and thinking, leading us to fulfill the particular karma. Otherwise with our efforts and God's grace we can change our fate and bring on a destiny as desired by us. Better still is to surrender and live out the divine will and have the divine chart our destiny.

By hosting this blog my understanding of things has changed over time and with experience and more learning.  There might be some discrepancies between my earliest posts and the latest, not that I have made a mistake or it was some typographical error but that it was based on whatever little information that trickles in, that is made known or revealed, learned or obtained. Please bear with me as I too am traveling on this journey. I am only sharing my experiences with fellow seekers like you, not as teaching but rather as information that was severely lacking in the early days of my venture on this path.

UNDERSTANDING THE NUANCES 2

On another note, I have made several observations while traveling on this path. These are personal observations that I have related to what I was told, seen, and heard from personal encounters and with others that have come to me as lessons to either uphold or avoid as the case may be. For instance, only a Jeevanmukta then can take up the tasks given as in building temples, ashrams, peedhams, etc and leaving them behind for prodigy to come (the calling), serve (Sariyai), participate (Kriyai), practice (Yogam) and derive the fruits of his efforts (attaining Gnanam). Tavayogi was one of them. Coming back to society he saw his task lay in building a temple for Agathiyar and preaching the Siddhas teachings beyond the shores of India. Ramalinga Adigal came to settle and build the numerous buildings in Vadalur after attaining the state where he was one with Erai. So it sort of surprised me when Supramania Swami, a Gnani was stopped from continuing with the construction of a temple. While many still on the path hastily engage in all the above, giving the reason that it is done for the sake of the public, I ask myself how can one who is still traversing the corners, the rapids, the falls, the quicksand, and other dangers on the treacherous path bring others and show them the truth? When Tavayogi during the years of his travels to Malaysia initiated me officially into the Siddha path in 2005, asks me to preach about the Siddhas in 2007, I turned him down telling him that I did not qualify for that tasks as I had no knowledge about them. When in 2016 he told the same I replied to him that it would be akin to the blind leading the blind. It is only those who have been there and chose to return for the sake of others who can engage in enlightening them. Whatever done prior to the attainment of the state of a Jivanmukta is solely done based on one's desires. It brings with it Karma, although in this sense the good part of it. But he has to be rewarded for his good deeds and merits collected as a result, as a result, it necessitates the taking of another birth to pay off the debt as gifts and a good life.

Even if the Siddhas or Erai were to instruct us to build a temple we can always turn them down for a bigger ideal that is waiting to be showered upon us. Why settle for lesser gains that crop up along the path as gifts for our devotion? I was instructed to build one but I turned down the tasks. Although initially excited about being given the humongous task and honor to build the house of God, having seen what was going around at random with everyone who comes to the path of the Siddhas engaging in opening peedhams and building temples, and seeing the amount of hardship and financial constraints that comes with it, I backed off. The experience of others taught me to become wiser. Moreover, I would become stuck with managing these assets, sourcing funds to keep then afloat, begging for their kindness, and having to put up with all kinds of characters who drop by. I have longed and wanted peace and calm. I shall lose that then. I told Agathiyar it was not for me.

When I turned down the directive preferring to be silent over it, Agathiyar finally tells me that they had tested me. It was all their play. When he mentioned the very first time in my very first Nadi reading, Sivabalan who accompanied me throughout the reading told me not to be overly excited, as the directive had appeared to some 50 people before me. Now I understand that Agathiyar was fishing for devotees who would succumb to jump off the wagon to carry out these tasks or chores rather than ignore the asking and staying aboard traveling till the end of the journey where much bigger and precious gifts are there for the taking.

Anyway, why does anyone need to build a temple externally when they should instead make this body his temple and invite him within? This is what has to be told and practices given to initiate this transformation to take place within. Worship him in the heart. Praise him. Infuse him within. Light up the flame within and see that it grows in its intensity and engulf us completely. Bring upon ourselves and within us the transformations spoken about by the Siddhas. Bring this body of impure nature to that of purity and transform it further to that of the Pranava and Oli degam. Teach everyone to embark on this marvelous internal journey rather than replacing the traditional temple with that of a Siddha or adding on to the original number of temples. Are we bound firm and fast in Maya that we cannot foresee what is taking place around us? Now I begin to understand that the many rewards he wanted to shower on me along the way were traps set to entrap us further in the illusion of Maya. It was all his play offering me a Nadi to be read and put to use for myself and others that would have seen many queue up to have their fate known; and the gift of healing that would have had me labeled as a shaman.

Agathiyar only made us drop both Sariyai and Kriyai after having us involved in them directly, having gained full satisfaction in carrying them out, not a second earlier. When he saw the time was right to wean us away from them, he broke the group Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) so that we would not revisit it. As for the acts of charity formerly under our umbrella Amudha Surabhi (AS) he has passed on to others to continue these noble acts. It is hoped that whatever knowledge and practice the members gained while traversing the path of Sariyai and Kriyai, they took it back with them and put them into practice in their own homes, making their homes divine and fit for the divine's visitations too. 

I have been made to understand the difference between spiritualism and religion is that religion has a huge following, made up of devotees and followers, and the occasional sightseer at the receiving end and a head or committee spearheading the temple or peedham who are revered and looked up upon on the other hand. We do not see any merger of any sort between the two parties over the years. They follow the sacred texts and age-old traditions, never wanting to lift a finger in bringing in new ideas, thoughts, or innovations and not keeping with the time, for fear of going against tradition, the agamas, or the gurus. Eventually, it drops out of the mainstream with less and less frequenting these premises. 

Spiritualism on the other hand has very few followers who only follow the spirit. These are a handful of seekers wanting to explore beyond the domain of tradition and beyond the numerous codes, practices, and principles laid out in conventional paths. Tavayogi once said that the spirit cannot be contained or chained. It needs to leave the comfort of religion and their dogmas and explore further. Agathiyar surprised us by saying that the Siddha path cannot be compared with religion and bhakti marga that has thousands of followers. The Siddha path shall gradually shrink in numbers. Siddha practitioner Ariva tells me the masters and gurus of days past led us from the false to the truth hence bringing us to understand Sivavakiyar and his songs better now. As Agathiyar says there is no right and wrong and that it is we who determine them to be right or otherwise from gaining and learning these lessons, these experiences have indeed taught us lessons on right and wrong and it is no reason for us to shun and shame those who are following the many paths just because we have seen through the veil. These bits of understanding that came about from the many experiences and the ensuing lessons served to open our minds to the fact that there is more to this then meets the eye. We were shown the ways of others on this path too that taught us to be aware of the dangers and pitfalls, and not to fall a victim of illusion or fall for the lure of Maya disguised as greed, fame, power, and authority that comes cloth in spiritualism too.

UNDERSTANDING THE NUANCES 1

This blog is solely about my experiences and that of those on the path of the Siddhas. As I trace the journey I am slowly beginning to understand the subtle reasons and meanings of many of those events that took place. Reading the Nadi catapulted me to another aspect of life's journey away from the norm of my career and family life. I suddenly saw myself naked in the eyes of the Siddhas for they exposed me and my acts. They spoke not only about the present me but what I did in a past birth and predicted the future. Today I understand that I had lived many lives as they came later to expose them too. Today I understand that the prediction given was true as at that period of time and that I could change my fate and my future, bringing about a new destiny.

Agathiyar did not desert me after asking me to worship them in my first Nadi reading. He had the Nadi reader perform a puja for the Siddhas where I received a painting of Agathiyar and a booklet containing the names of the Siddhas. This was my tools beginning on this wonderful journey. I put what was shown to me into practice at home. In wanting to know further about the Siddhas I went around knocking several doors of several establishments, only coming to a dead-end as nobody could fill me and enlighten me further. Everyone who was associated with these peedhams, ashrams, societies, and associations in the name of Agathiyar was also traveling the path, learning, and following from the pioneers before them and their peers. Somewhere collection of funds and charity was done. In another center, people gathered on Thursdays to chant the name of the Siddhas. Elsewhere precious hours were spent in talk in the name of Satsangs. None of these could enlighten me on the Siddhas. Looking into the books I saw that it was very formal and academic focusing on certain aspects of the Siddhas only, either prodding the myths and legends that surrounded them; extolling the Siddhi or powers displayed by them; investigating Siddha medicine and treatment of diseases; or promoting the art of prediction as in astrology or Aarudam or other forms of it. These were not what I sought. I was frustrated as I knew deep within this was not all there was to the Siddhas.

Agathiyar came to confirm our frustrations telling us that many will talk but never give us the experience. He added that gone are the days of talking and discussing the path and that he had come to give us the experience. A classic tale is told in "The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna, Introduction by Swami Nikhilananda", of how Ramakrishna gave Narendra @ Swami Vivekananda the experience of God rather than speak about him or describe him.

In a state of mental conflict and torture of soul, Narendra (Swami Vivekananda) came to Sri Ramakrishna at Dakshineswar. He was then eighteen years of age and had been in college two years. He entered the Master's room accompanied by some light-hearted friends. At Sri Ramakrishna's request he sang a few songs, pouring his whole soul into them, and the Master went into Samadhi. A few moments later Sri Ramakrishna suddenly left his seat, took Narendra by the hand, and led him to the screened verandah north of his room. They were alone. Addressing Narendra most tenderly, as if he were a friend of long acquaintance, the Master said: "Ah! You have come very late. Why have you been so unkind as to make me wait all these days? My ears are tired of hearing the futile words of worldly men. Oh, how I have longed to pour my spirit into the heart of someone fitted to receive my message!" Then, standing before Narendra with folded hands, he addressed him as Narayana, born on earth to remove the misery of humanity." Narendra was startled, "What is this I have come to see?" he said to himself. "He must be stark mad. Why, I am the son of Viswanath Dutta. How dare he speak this way to me?"

In answer to Narendra's question, "Sir, have you seen God?" the Master said: "Yes, I have seen God. I have seen Him more tangibly than I see you. I have talked to Him more intimately than I am talking to you." Narendra was amazed. These words he could not doubt. This was the first time he had ever heard a man saying that he had seen God. But he could not reconcile these words of the Master with the scene that had taken place on the verandah only a few moments before. He concluded that Sri Ramakrishna was a monomaniac, and returned home rather puzzled in mind.

During his second visit, about a month later, suddenly, at the touch of the Master, Narendra felt overwhelmed and saw the walls of the room and everything around him whirling and vanishing. "What are you doing to me?" he cried in terror. "I have father and mother at home." He saw his own ego and the whole universe almost swallowed in a nameless void. With a laugh the Master easily restored him. Narendra thought he might have been hypnotized, but he could not understand how a monomaniac could cast a spell over the mind of a strong person like himself.

But during his third visit Narendra fared no better. This time, at the Master's touch, he lost consciousness entirely. A few more meetings completely removed from Narendra's mind the last traces of the notion that Sri Ramakrishna might be a monomaniac or wily hypnotist. 

Narendra, because of his Brahmo upbringing, considered it wholly blasphemous to look on man as one with his Creator. One day at the temple garden he laughingly said to a friend: "How silly! This jug is God! This cup is God! Whatever we see is God! And we too are God! Nothing could be more absurd." Sri Ramakrishna came out of his room and gently touched him. Spellbound, he immediately perceived that everything in the world was indeed God. A new universe opened around him. Returning home in a dazed state, he found there too that the food, the plate, the eater himself, the people around him, were all God. When he walked in the street, he saw that the cabs, the horses, the streams of people, the buildings, were all Brahman. It took him a number of days to recover his normal self. He had a foretaste of the great experiences yet to come and realized that the words of the Vedanta were true.

Muruganar's narration of Bhagavan Ramana's story on Lord Dakshinamurti and how he subdued the minds of his students' lends credit to the importance and relevance of experience rather than questions.

When the four aged Sanakadi rishis first saw the sixteen-year-old Sri Dakshinamurti sitting under the banyan tree, they were at once attracted by him, understanding him to be the real Sadguru. They approached him, did three pradakshinas around him, prostrated before him, sat at his feet and began to ask very shrewd and pertinent questions about the nature of Reality and the means of attaining it. Because of the great compassion and fatherly love (vātsalya) which he felt for his aged disciples, the young Sri Dakshinamurti was overjoyed to see their earnestness, wisdom and maturity, and hence he gave apt replies to each of their questions. As he answered each consecutive question, further doubts rose in their minds and still they asked further questions. Thus they continued to question Sri Dakshinamurti, for one whole year, and he continued to clear their doubts through his compassionate answers. Finally, however, Sri Dakshinamurti understood that if he gave more answers to their questions more doubts would rise in their minds and hence there would never be an end to their ignorance (ajnana). Therefore, suppressing even the feeling of compassion and fatherly love which was welling up within him, he merged himself into the supreme silence. Because of their great maturity (which had been ripened to perfection through their year-long association with the Sadguru), as soon as Sri Dakshinamurti thus merged himself, they too were automatically merged within, into silence, the state of Self. (Source: "Mountain Path", http://www.sriramana.org/ramanafiles/mountainpath/2017%20IV%20Oct.pdf)

In the movie "Saguni" we are given a very poignant message delivered through a comic scene. A Guru who is a good orator, unfortunately, could not capture nor sustain the attention span of his devotees who were more interested in his handouts of talisman, etc, and in getting cured and getting rich quick. He is observed from afar by a lad. He approaches the Guru with an idea and offers to bring a change. The lad mentions to the Guru that what he needed to do was to repackage and market his "product" anew. The Guru was asked to stop talking! When the Guru stopped speaking everyone is anxious as to when he (the Guru) would speak next and whether he would speak to them or chose another. It turned out to be a successful move. Although it was a comedy sketch it made much sense. 

The next few years saw tremendous changes in the direction that I was to take with my maiden travel and pilgrimage to India to temples that were built for specific purposes in helping and relieving mankind of their curses and karma. I did as designated by Agathiyar. I was shown to my guru Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai at the tail end of my pilgrimage. Three years on I was shown to my next guru Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram when he was visiting Malaysia. Calling us to the path Agathiyar in carrying on their legacy, through my gurus educated us on Kriyai and Yogam, taking over from where our parents had left having groomed us in Sariyai. Along the way, we were given practical experiences through journeys, events, and programs, with the appropriate circumstances and scenarios drawn up and thrown in by Agathiyar and my gurus. If  Tavayogi led me on the external journey, bringing me through dense forest and narrow paths, scaling hills, and boulders and giving a city-dweller a new experience, and bringing us to perform and conduct rituals that before this was in the purview of the priests, Agathiyar has brought us on an internal journey of subtle transformation. For this to take place the gross elements have to be purified and made finer. As we know the water in the ground that forms a water table that keeps it from caving in, is identified and tapped for drinking and irrigation too. This very water oozes out to form streams, rivers, ponds, and lakes. With heat from the sun, water transforms to vapor. With the aid of air, it is lifted to form clouds merging with ether. Similarly, the Siddhas brought about changes to these elements in the physical body making them into their finer counterpart until each element changes into its previous state till it attains the state of Pranava degam. In this second phase of the journey, Agathiyar brought us to first cleanse the physical body by adopting good personal hygiene and then clearing the house of the filth gathered over the years. This applies to both the physical home and the impure body or Assudha degam. Knowing pretty well that we would not clean our homes they pieced together stories of deities into our everyday life. We have festivals like the harvest festival or Pongal introduced, where we are forced to clear the house, at least once a year, of all the "rubbish" collected over the years thinking that it would be of use to us later. Then we are told that a clean house invites Goddess Mahalakshmi and the Lord of wealth Kuberan. It saddens me to see Agathiyar come to remind us of up keeping cleanliness that keeps illness and disease away.

The Assudha degam that resulted from the coming together and materialization and amalgamation of the 5 physical elements namely ether, air, water, fire, and earth, has to be slowly and meticulously transformed into a pure body or Suddha degam by acts and practices of purifying these elements. The earth element that keeps us bonded and attached has to be released as the floodwaters flow. Tapas or the fire of austerity converts it to vapor that is then lifted to higher regions of manifestations in the ether. Defeat gravity and we shall remain young.

Agathiyar here then brings us to Yoga where volumes of prana is tapped and injected within through Pranayama techniques. The journey within begins with us tagging and hitchhiking on the breath as it traverses the Nadi piercing chakra upon chakra, hence bringing them back to top form from a state of sluggishness. The dormant energy rises within, fuelled by the breath and prana that is tapped in volumes from the cosmos. The breath that traverses the Brahma granthi then leaves for the Vishnu granthi. Slowly with practice, it arrives at the Rudra granthi where it knocks on the door at Ajna. We learn to observe the breath remaining in Kevala Kumbakam then. The prana comes to reside within permanently, the body now becoming a storehouse of prana and energy. The prana and energy are easily connected by merely bringing attention to the breath. As mentioned in the movie "Sliding Doors" then something ungoverned by us shall happen. More doors are opened and more passages open up as we continue to journey within into new terrains and worlds, we are told. The ultimate shall be in attaining the Oli degam or Light body. When the door opens with the grace of the guru and the divine, it makes its way towards the seventh chakra. Once then and there our true purpose in taking birth is revealed. This is both the souls and the divines desire. Returning back to society he is a Jivanmukta who does and goes about carrying out the divine's and the soul's will which are one then. He then comes as the way to others compared with us now trying to follow and adapt the ways of the saints.

THE SPIRITUAL NETWORK

It's a Saturday afternoon and as I am lazing on the sofa in my living room, sharing the videos I took of my granddaughter in our family WhatsApp group and thinking about what to write next I pondered with amazement on the spiritual network that lay out there away from our eyes and privy to only those whom we call gurus, saints, sages and Siddhas.

It is said that the divine has its own machinery that administers his creation, just as we have governments and its officials and staff to administer the countries. Here is a network linking the subjects of Erai to the system in place just as the various ministries come under a network too. Let us explore this divine network based on what took place in my life. 

I was minding my business going to work and returning home to my wife and children. Nothing unusual happened until that meaningful Saturday afternoon in 2001, at about this time, at 4pm, my life was to change completely forever. The rain clouds had formed as my nephew stepped into my home. He told me that he had an outstanding order given to him that he had delayed for far too long in delivering to me. He asked me to follow him into my prayer room. He took his seat as I sat opposite him. He told me not to question the source of the initiation I was about to receive. Some energy came through him that shook his body briefly. He asked me to follow him in reciting the Vasudeva mantra. Years later he reveals to me that his Paramaguru Gopal Pillai had come through a follower and instructed that the mantra be passed on to me. Gopal Pillai was part of a larger network. The initiator I came to know later was Agathiyar. Subsequently, my nephew gave me a picture of Lord Dhakshanamurthy to be worshiped and told me that this shall prepare me to meet my guru in a year. Agathiyar was a part of a larger network too.

I was a person who frequented temples and worshiped aggressively at home both at dawn and dusk until it all came to an abrupt stop in 1988. I had been hibernating away from all forms of worship and reading of books of spiritual nature since then. This interval of 14 years saved me from turning cuckoo. I was confused with all the reading and what I saw that took place in other's lives that it made me doubt the very nature of the divine and question him if at all he was as compassionate as professed. Lord Shiva came in a dream and told me to take a break which I did. 

After a long break, I was brought back to worship with the entry of Lord Narayanan and Lord Dhakshanamurthy. I am told that I shall meet my guru too. I never knew about gurus nor did I follow one till then. When my colleague and officer left his job to become a monk at Yogananda Paramahansa's Ranchi ashram in India in 1994, he passed me a picture of Lord Shiva and Yogananda's "Autobiography of a Yogi." I first learned about gurus and masters from this amazing book.

I began to frequent Siddha practitioner and Medical astrologer the late Dr. Krishnan beginning in 1996. He pointed me to the Nadi when I asked him if his predictions had not materialized in the past. "Yes" he replied and told me the reason. If we had karma that came about as a result of curses, it will stand in our way and deprive us of whatever good we deserve. This was my very first education on karma and the first time I heard about the Siddhas and the Nadi. He was a part of the network. But as they say, you have to have the calling to see the Nadi, Agathiyar only initiated the move to read it to me some 6 years later when my colleague opened up to me about his experience in seeing his Nadi in the year 2000. As my interest was kindled, he checked to see if the Nadi reader was still around. I was in luck and I arrived to have my Nadi read.  

If Agathiyar had used several channels to convey his message earlier, this time he addressed me directly through the Nadi. He took me by surprise by calling me to his fold. Agathiyar who told me to carry out remedies both here and in India for my past karma, also reaffirmed that I shall meet my guru. Agathiyar had privy to these Akashic records in the Akashic vault. 

I set off to India in 2003. I had come to the end of my "remedial" pilgrimage but had yet to meet the guru. I had no inclination where, when, and how this would happen. As I had a day to myself in Tiruvannamalai before returning to Chennai to board the plane back to Malaysia, I remembered my wife asking me to chart my daughter's horoscope in India. I asked Deva my good chauffeur if he would take me to one once we arrive in Chennai. He replied that his uncle was an astrologer. That astrologer was to be my very first guru. I saw Erai's divine hands in this. Why should my wife ask that I get the horoscope done just as I was about to board the taxi to the airport? Why did the driver originally assigned to me come down ill and had Deva replace me?

I spent 5 solid hours with him, hardly speaking, with tears rolling down my cheeks throughout the meeting I had with Supramania Swami of Tiruvannamalai. I sat awed and amazed as he rolled out what was to take place in my life, without looking into the stars, drawing up my horoscope, or looking at my palms. He spoke about things mentioned by Agathiyar in the Nadi. Supramania Swami had privy to these Akashic records kept in the Akashic vault. He was part of the network.

With the coming of my second guru Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram, things sped up. He invited me to his ashram while in Malaysia in 2005. I soon saw myself arrive at Kallar behind his heels. On mentioning to him that Agathiyar had instructed me further to visit more temples, he volunteered to take me anywhere I wanted to go. We saw ourselves head for those temples and he threw in a bonus package bringing me to the caves and jungles of the Siddhas and to some of the places he had roamed, slept, and meditated during his tenure as a mendicant roaming the length and breadth of India. Tavayogi had privy to these secret spots and I was privileged to set my foot on. He was part of the network.

From learning much that was shared through the medium of the Nadi and from both my gurus, the Siddhas have begun to speak directly this time through you and me prompting to do a thing or otherwise, to inform, to educate and to enlighten us. They use us as tools and messengers and use the technologies available currently to send their messages across. Their networks is vast and the mediums plenty. End of the day the message is conveyed to the right person on time, though we are to be aware and alert of these messengers who may come in any form and the messages that can come any time.

The ball is always in our court. The Siddhas look into the stars and only relay what is seen. Whether these events take place or not entirely and squarely is on our shoulders. When effort is placed we see results. If we ignore then the prediction shall not materialize. And it is of utmost importance that we start on it the moment we are told to do so. Anything done later for various lame reasons does not give the desired and expected results. Siddhas are divine messengers waiting to uplift us to their stature and beyond. All they ask of us is total surrender for them to work on us. If we hold on to ourselves how can they do what is best for us? After coming to their path, accept everything that happens be it good or bad, and accept that it is all happening under their watchful eyes. Remember we are only interested in the immediate and our vision is limited while they see through time and space and know what is best for us. Give them space to mold and work on us, eventually bringing us to their state of a Siddha. Devotion and Surrender is what is needed to tap their Grace. With their grace and our efforts, we shall wade the waters of life.