Speaking to Suren, he said he saw a rise in people worshipping Agathiyar as a statue in their homes, mentioning some new arrivals similar to Agathiyar at Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM). It was true that some readers too have shared the images of Agathiyar that they had commissioned and are now praying to. But I told him that though I was delighted to see the move into Siddha worship, I feared that they would remain forever in worship and not move on as Tavayogi and Agathiyar wished for. I feared that it would eventually remain similar to temple worship, with rituals being done and people gathering. The Siddhas, though, have a greater agenda for mankind. They desire us to walk with them.
When Agathiyar asked that I build him a temple in 2002, I scouted around for a space in existing temples and approached the temple committees to have him installed. But none gave way. Later, moving away from a traditional aspect of temple, I thought that I could look into a bungalow to house him. Drafting a plan with Suren, we brought in all aspects of the sciences taught by the Siddhas into this virtual home. But that stalled for reasons I cannot remember now. Lord Muruga, coming in a Nadi reading in 2018, asked for a temple too, telling me that he would provide for the land, fund it, and have the right people sent over to see it materialize. He added that I would do it differently. If I was asking how I could show him differently, today I realize that he was referring to the draft blueprint that we drew up earlier.
Agathiyar, in covering my short journey in coming here, besides summing up my life and my state of being in the very last Nadi reading I had on 21.2.2026, brought me to understand that, much like what Lord Muruga had mentioned later, there was no need for a temple as my home had become one; all that they had desired was seen to have come to materialize in my home. Agathiyar said that Lord Siva had come into this home. "We played our Lila here. You had his blessing on (the last) Sivarathri. Many saw miracles, and wonders were shown." He said that I had gained powers, grace, and spiritual advancement and that Gnana and compassion overflowed on that night. He said that the gross body was now luminous. He said that as a result of my daily puja and Yoga, and with the subsequent activation of the Suzhumunai and the subsequent strengthening of the chakras and the subsequent arousal of the powers of Kundalini Yoga, which I received by Agathiyan's grace, I had gained clarity and attained a state of bliss. He said that I had attained a state that was incomparable to anything else and that it brought much joy to them to see my advancement as a result of attaining what he calls Gnana Sutcham. He said that I was a Pure Sittu and their Seed.
My home, as a result, was an energy vortex, he added. He said my home was a House of Compassion and that they have taken refuge and shelter in it. He told me that he has firmly grounded his grace and compassion here so that I could partake of the ambrosia. He said that they have come to stay in my home. He said that my home was his, and vice versa. He called my home his Gurumuni Peedham, where Vinai or Karma shall be cleared. He said that he shall have me take on the role of a guru. He says I shall teach the states of Yoga that shall bring on Gnanam. "With the power of speech that you shall be gifted, you shall be a guru whom the world shall come to praise. All the sciences shall be revealed under this tree of knowledge. The thirst for Gnana too shall be quenched here. By Lord Siva and Parvathi's grace, and that of Lord Muruga, there would be no shortage of Mukti and Siddhi here." Granting my wife and me Gnana Moksa, he has come to show that Gnanam was available to the householder too. With Lord Muruga's grace, many things shall be seen too. He said he saw all this greatness in my home.
On another question as to why gurus keep certain practices to themselves and do not teach their followers, I told Suren it is rare to come by one who delighted in seeing his student excel and reach the master's state. Many choose to have their followers remain as followers for personal gains. A good master passes on the teachings and practice and lets go of his followers to explore the path further, looking into their safety from afar. The Siddhas have us slowly evolve into that higher state rather than have us hold on to strict regimes and practices forever. If Bhakti can be taught to all, but Yoga, for instance, has to be given to those who cherish it and are resolved to use it as a tool for advancement.
Of late, the signs are pushing me to write about myself. Agathiyar had come earlier, telling me enough of singing his praise and that of other masters, and to write about my transformation. What could I write further about me that has not been shared in this blog, I ask myself. Another friend, Balamurugan, too, said the same, to end talk about other masters and went on further, asking me to establish a brand for myself and market it. This is what the others are doing too. Should I fall into this trap too?
I had managed to stay away from falling for numerous traps laid out on this path while walking, traveling, and journeying towards what Agathiyar calls the Light. It began with the request to build a temple for Agathiyar in 2002 and later for Lord Murugan in 2018. Then it was the gift of the Jeeva Nadi for my use and others. I turned them down. While these were options that I could turn down, Agathiyar pushed me to permit certain things to take place. He had me open my home to many strangers whom he sent over and looked into their problems, giving advice, solutions, and healing them. Asking me to step aside, he used me and my home while my family watched. For one who stayed away from company and crowds, I was pushed to admit and see people whom he sent over. He made me understand that he had an agenda and was only using me and my home. But as usual, I feared getting stuck on a task that would halt me in my tracks and keep me from completing what I truly came to achieve, as spelled out by Agathiyar. Although I knew he would bring this to an end, as he did with all the other activities, just a couple of days ago, figuring that I had had my fair share of rather bizarre experiences and lessons, I requested that he end this too, putting a stop to all these arrivals. I wanted to attend to my Self henceforth.
If Balamurugan wants me to be just my own self, Shanmugam Avadaiyappa, standing out distinctly different from the rest by establishing a name and a brand for myself, Agathiyar, who asked me to even let him go, asking, "How else are we to become one?" earlier, asked me how long I wanted to remain Shanmugam Avadaiyappa, implying that I needed to drop this identity that was holding me back from moving into their fold. So how do I do that? asks Balamurugan.
When Agathiyar asked me to share the inner transformations that went on in me, saying others should know what it takes to stay on the path of becoming Light, I realized that maybe, just maybe, I was already there. This is the merger and the union that the saints speak about at the end of the journey. It is not something waiting to happen beyond the body and in the heavens after death, but that happens mindfully while still alive, as in Sama Adhi (Samadhi), one with the source. It is the moment of walking into the divine's waiting arms. I wonder when that day comes. Though Agathiyar has given me a rosy picture of what is in store ahead, I am my own self, as of now, to me and others too.
Meanwhile, I need to move on now. I guess this is where I need to make the move to let go of one last thing: even my identity as Shanmugam Avadaiyappa. As always, what comes spontaneously at the end is toiled for at the beginning for want of precious experiences. One has to shed his identity too after coming to know his Self. In having me let go, he showed me bliss; in bringing me to the state of bliss, he let go of me too. He freed me. I understood that I need not do anything further, as Agathiyar kept saying, that the energies, Prana, Kundalini, and the Prapanjam, shall do their work. Indeed, the tightness that I experienced around my hips and immobilised me back then came back upon me upon waking up this morning. I do not know if there is another round of changes taking place as of now.