One profound question from someone known as Bala, who approached me in the days when I would spend my after-office hours in the presence of Tavayogi, who was in Malaysia to officiate a Peedham, still hangs in my mind. He asked me why I was there. That took me by surprise. After some moments of silence, he continued, "No, many come here when they have problems." I told him that I had none and that Agathiyar had asked me to come to the worship of the Siddhas in my Nadi reading.
After heeding his call to see the Nadi and taking up his call to come to his worship in 2002, I looked for guidance to carry out Siddha Puja in existing centers that carried Agathiyar's name but returned disappointed. They were involved solely in doing charity or giving talks. Then, in 2005, seeing an advertisement in the local Tamil daily that carried the name Thaiveedu Thangarasan M.A. moved me to call the number advertised. I found myself before Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar ashram. I showed him the pamphlet that Nadi reader Senthilkumar passed me in 2002 for reasons I never knew back then, which I had stored away, for reasons I never knew back then too. He told me it was his. Hence, a beautiful relationship emerged between us from 2005 (or rather 2002) until he passed away in 2018. So I found myself a regular face at the Agathiyar Gnana Peedham in Batu Caves, which Tavayogi came to officiate.
Then Agathiyar called me in for a reading, my second. He told me to get initiated again for reasons both Tavayogi and I never knew. Both Tavayogi and I were surprised as he had initiated my wife and me together with eight others the very day I met him at the Peedham. Agathiyar, for reasons I never knew back then, rerouted me to Kallar Ashram instead of the local Peedham, which Tavayogi had told me to frequent, and I shall learn further.
I soon learned that while my fate was in the hands of Agathiyar, my destiny was in the hands of Tavayogi. While Agathiyar worked on my fate, Tavayogi worked on charting my destiny anew. Tavayogi initiated me to carry out a similar fire ceremony but on a smaller scale called Homam at home, for reasons I never knew, while he appeased Mother Nature by carrying out a much larger Yagam in the wake of the tsunami of 2004. Soon, Agathiyar in the Nadi justified the rituals, telling me that I was not doing it for my personal gains but for the well-being of the Prapanjam. Since then, Agathiyar has had me take it on if and when the need arises.
Then Agathiyar initiated me in 2009/2010 to have his statue made in bronze and brought it over to my home, for reasons I never knew back then. He arrived at my home on 2.1.2010. The next day he walked the length and breadth of my home while he told me that my soul entered his statue for the brief moment of the Puja he had us carry out.
Beginning in 2013, he had youths come over to my home after their Nadi readings to watch and participate in the Siddha Puja. I realised that he had fulfilled what was lacking during my days of search, looking for guidance on carrying out Siddha Puja, by turning my home into his temple, Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM), where others could watch and learn. If he had many learn the rituals in the worship of the Siddhas, Agathiyar was cautious as to whom the practice of Yoga was to be given. Neither Tavayogi, who taught it to me, nor Agathiyar, who gifted it to me, had me run classes. The only instance that Agathiyar had me teach it was to Mahindren. Then he had Mahindren teach it to the handful gathered on that day of dispense. They were left to practice it.
Soon I began to realize that what I found difficult to come by, he had me create and carry it out. So was it with finding appropriate material on the Siddha Puja. I then began compiling these songs from various books and the net. Asking Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar, she gave me a list of some 23 items usually used to bathe the deities at temples, from which I picked those that are easily available and used them during the libation ritual for Agathiyar. So too did I compile all the relevant texts on carrying out the Yagam as a reference for carrying out the Homam ritual I carried out at home. I began streaming the home Puja after Jnana Jothiamma requested to watch it from the USA. Soon I uploaded these Pujas on YouTube too. I uploaded several books that I wrote online for seekers to learn further about the path.
Then it was time to receive divine knowledge or Gnanam, after taking up pilgrimages and charity as in Sariyai, rituals as in Kriyai, and carrying out Yoga in Yogam. As I was confused as to the interchangeable usage of the words Spirit and Soul by many, Agathiyar had Mahindren sit down and take notes. Agathiyar explained to us about the Body or Udal, Breath or Uyir, and Soul or Atma. After comparing with what science has to say, we get a clearer picture of the journey from being a zygote to a child. We are a composite of the Pindam or Udal or Body, Vaasi or Uyir or Prana or Breath, and the Atma or Soul. The formation of a Pindam, or the zygote, is initiated by the Soul that decides to inhabit the body for its purpose. The Pindam, made of the elements derived from the Pancha Maha Bhutam, or five major elements, in a specific proportion, begins to take a form in the womb of the mother. The elements are taken from each parent's body, namely the male sperm during ejaculation and the female egg during ovulation. If the proportions are compromised, complications appear in the growing fetus. The Prana, or Breath, energizes its rapid growth, turning into an embryo, fetus, and a child.
Birth is indeed a marvel. It must have taken great minds to bring together all the raw materials in existence to bring about a birth. A line is a single noun until you place another object beside it or begin to compare it with another. Just as an adjective then comes to be, as in a long line or a short line. Similarly, a soul is a soul; there is no good or bad. It is when the other Tattwas come into play, and a comparison arises, that things seem good and bad.
Then Agathiyar had me sit with paper and pen and jot down notes. He summarized the journey towards attaining the state of Light in simple terms and had me share it with the handful who participated during the Guru Purnima Puja of 2024.
"Who is Agathiyan?"
You are. I am. True. We all are Agathiyan. The Jothi, or flame in us, is Agathiyan. He resides as the fire, flame, heat, and warmth in us. He is Esan. He is the Esan who resides within.
"Why is it that we do not realize nor feel him?"
It is because we have not attained the state of preparedness or readiness to realize him. Once our soul attains this state, we shall begin to realize him.
"How can we attain this state of preparedness?"
First, we have to travel this path. We need to travel to the places and abodes of the Siddhas, witness their miracles, enter the states of bliss, and bring back these feelings and work on them, nurturing them. The Siddha shall come down. When we follow their directives, they shall walk with us, holding our hands. This travel then shall not be that of an external but of an internal journey. Yoga is the key to this travel within. From Sariyai arriving at Kriyai, now they shall teach Yogam. The journey within shall begin. You shall witness happenings. You shall see many things. It would be puzzling to you. It would be new to you too. Continuing this internal journey, you shall arrive at each Chakra and eventually see the cosmic dance of Thillai in Sahasrara. A 1000-petaled flower will keep on opening up continuously. Arutjothi will come to reside here. Then its effulgence enters within, and just as the Kundalini, upon awakening, traverses each Chakra, purifying them, this effulgence brings on the shine and luminosity in them. Jothi Darisanam takes place when one sees the light or effulgence. The body takes on the same. Vibrations begin to emit within and around us and are felt by those tuned to receive and feel around you. They shall follow you. You become a Jeeva Mukta, having attained Mukti while living in the flesh. Henceforth you are no different from Agathiyan, and Agathiyan is no different from you. You are me, and I am you."