AGATHIYAR FEST

Agathiyar who started us on doing puja for the Siddhas or Siddhar Vazhipaadu through my first Nadi reading in 2002 and took us by the hand learning from Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar whom he sent to our shores in 2005 and had us conduct Siddhar Puja in Siddha friendly temples too in 2016 finally told us it was enough and had us go within in 2019. Having said that, he did remind us though to never forget to conduct his Aandu Vizha or Annual Fest which he reschedule to fall on Thaipusam day, moving away from the generally celebrated day of his Jayanthi coinciding with the star Ahilyam during the Tamil month of Margazhi. That day shall fall on this weekend 5 February 2023. We have planned for a bhajan and Satsang session that day. But let us wait and see what Agathiyar plans for us for he is known to change our plans. We are prepared to go with the flow.

A BRUSH WITH THE SIDDHAS

In coming to the path first we are told of our past deeds, the present life, and what to expect in the future all written and documented by the ancient Siddhas which over time had come down to a particular clan in South India who kept these transcripts written on dried palm leaves for generations, replacing damaged ones with new ones, and reproducing them anew. These are the palm leaves or olai suvadi of present times. 

Once the karma portion of our reading is revealed and appropriate action is taken on our part we can choose to proceed in the way of the Siddhas or their path if we chose to or if the Siddhas desire. If one chooses to travel further he is guided by more readings in the form of Aasi Nadi or Jeeva Nadi readings that are now real-time revelations. If we adhere sincerely to the directives the Siddhas begin to take our lives into their hands rather than have fate determine our destiny. We become their children and they begin to decide what is best for us. 

A new journey begins with our life rewritten. Henceforth if one were to surrender his destiny to the Siddhas his fate changes. He now lives solely for the Siddhas awaiting the mission and purpose that is revealed in good time. But he does not desert his family and shed his responsibilities to them and to society. He learns to live apart from them engaging only if and when required. For the rest of the time he does God's work. Each individual's life then is tailored to suit his environment and the people he comes across. If the need arises a gathering of like-minded souls comes together to carry out God's work further.

When his time is up he leaves happily letting go of all his responsibilities, attachments, and even merits gained in doing God's work. He leaves without a trace. He does not leave behind a following. He does not leave behind an institution. He leaves behind only his name.

Today what we know of the Siddhas is their names. All the literature on Siddhas would list their names and some stories associated with them. As Carl Sagan describes of a book, Steve Fitz writes at https://baos.pub/ 

"The renowned scientist, astronomer, and author, Carl Sagan, certainly saw books as magic. In his television series called Cosmos, he makes us think about books in a new light with this poetical description:

“What an astonishing thing a book is. It’s a flat object made from a tree with flexible parts on which are imprinted lots of funny dark squiggles. But one glance at it and you’re inside the mind of another person, maybe somebody dead for thousands of years. Across the millennia, an author is speaking clearly and silently inside your head, directly to you. Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people who never knew each other, citizens of distant epochs. Books break the shackles of time. A book is proof that humans are capable of working magic.”

Similarly, when we read their texts or sing their songs we enter the mind of the Siddhas who have merged in light. Across Yugas, the Siddha is now clearly speaking to us directly with us inside our heads. Their text and their songs bind us together with Siddhas we never knew who lived in distant epochs. As Carl Sagan says their works then break the shackle of time. Reading the Thiruarutpa of Ramalinga Adigal one is transported into the mind of the saint who lived some 200 years ago and begins to experience the very experience he went through. These Godly experiences are made available to us too easily. Rather than walking the physical path and reliving what is written, we gain the same through a reading of these texts and songs. Many have been drawn to live the lives of these saints after reading their works.

And so too in coming to the path of the Siddhas we are given a long list of names of the Siddhas. We get to know them first. We sing praises to them and cherish their achievements. Slowly we tune ourselves to the ways of the Siddhas. They then come in numerous forms and guide us further. Eventually, the need for such external stimuli or tools is dropped as they begin to come within us and inspire and drive us further. Their very energy lives in us and is shared with others who come into their space. The energies are brushed off onto them too, provided there are takers.

WHEN GOD COMES WITHIN

Looking back now Tavayogi did not teach me much per se but instead helped bring me the blessings of the Siddhas. Rather than have me sit at his feet and deploy the means to salvation he brought me on a journey visiting the jungles, and the abodes and caves where the Siddhas roamed and meditated once. Now I understand that this was indeed a quicker means of reaching the destination. All the saints have sung of the need for God's grace or Arul. He brought it down in torrents on me. This reminds me of the time I reported for my new job in a new town away from home after my studies. My father wrote a short note and asked me to pass it on to someone in the Chettiar community in the town I was to work in. Indeed that note carried much weight as I was allowed to stay for several nights in their Kithangi or place of business in this small town of Sitiawan. That piece of paper introduced me as one of their "kind" and I was allowed to stay for several nights until I moved in into the quarters my employer provided us. 

Similarly, I guess Tavayogi too must have passed a note to the Siddhas for they have accepted me into their community. I am grateful to him for taking me on a shortcut to freedom. In the beginning, when we went for our Kaanda Nadi reading we were told by the Nadi readers that Agathiyar had written about us in the past and the calling had come only then for us to read the Nadi and know about our past, present, and future so that we could take hold of our lives that would otherwise continue to be mundane. The Siddhas showed us a purpose in living apart from the norm and carrying out the usual responsibilities. Reading the Jeeva Nadi or transmission of messages in real-time in later years, Agathiyar used to tell us that he has arrived to address us coming for instance from Kailash, Pothigai, or Kallar. These days he is so near and close that we do not realize that he is speaking to us through others until he introduces himself. True to what he told a devotee he is felt as a Unarvu and an Athirvu, he comes as energy in a split second that traverses throughout the physical body bringing on a vibration that leads to a feeling and sensation of immense joy and bliss that begins to radiate out and reach towards others. Just as sound and light set off a vibration that radiates out changing the existing frequencies, the entire surrounding is electrified.

As the subjects live in the King's state, we live in God's world. Sariyai then is the start of getting God to turn and look toward us. So I understand now that there was nothing wrong when the priests at the temple lectured us about beginning our feeding session only after the Nitya or daily puja was done for the Goddess as she would then get to see what we were doing. This message was for the commoner in the path of Sariyai. For one who has begun to see God in everything he moves on without ridiculing or shaming other's beliefs and practices. 

Riding by the street in his chariot the King sees us as he sees all others. But just as he notices something outstanding among his subjects and visits his home or the subject is summoned to his royal chamber, when the guru points to a particular person and briefs God on his yearning and determination to see him, God's gaze falls on him. That is Guru Arul or the grace of the Guru who brings God's attention to us rather than have us work long hours to get his attention through Sariyai. This indeed is a faster route shown by the guru that comes with recommendations. The seeker and God connect. The Kriyas learned under the tutelage of the guru resonate within one in joy and bliss that is the nature of God too. 

Continuing under the watchful eyes of the guru, the seeker's physical body is broken down and rebuilt through Yoga. His other bodies come to light and literally light up. If God came to visit his humble home earlier in Kriyai after we frequented his home or temple in Sariyai, he now comes to stay within us. He remains silent and invisible until the need to move arises. God then takes over our thought, speech, and our gestures. From coming alive in the pages of the Nadi today he comes alive in these devotees. The love and compassion that emanate from the Siddhas cannot be described. 

THE INVISIBLE GURU

Dattatreya who considered the Atman as his Guru, yet, learned wisdom from 24 individuals, who were, therefore, his Gurus too.

“My 24 gurus are: 1. Earth, 2. Water, 3. Air, 4. Fire, 5. Sky, 6. Moon, 7. Sun, 8. Pigeon, 9. Python, 10. Ocean, 11. Moth, 12. Bee, 13. Honey-gatherer, 14. Elephant, 15. Deer, 16. Fish, 17. Dancing-girl Pingala, 18. Raven, 19. Child, 20. Maiden, 21.Serpent, 22. An arrow-maker, 23. Spider and 24. Beetle.” (Source: https://sivanandayogafarm.org/)

We learn many things even from children if only we are willing to let go of our egos. My grandchildren in telling stories are fond of including the word "actually". If we amused them with stories, they amuse us with their versions of stories and storytelling. If as kids we had heard the story of Little Red Riding Hood numerous times without questioning the logic of these horrific and disastrous fairy tales, my eldest granddaughter who is 5 years old, in playing out this story with me, when asked how she was going to go through the woods to deliver the pastries that her mother made for granny with the wolf lurking behind the trees, immediately brought on laughter amongst us when she replied that she shall send it by Grab (a food delivery service). She is truly up to date with matters of the world. The other who is 2 years old surprised both me and her older sister as we drove to the park when she brought up the topic of pimples telling me that she has pimples on her face. These children do indeed have their eyes and ears opened at all times. Should not we too?

The teachings are everywhere. They are not restricted to gurus and sacred texts. Look around us and we shall learn a thing or two. Take the movie "Aladdin" for instance the conversations between him and the Genie shall register a thing or two in us. As Supramania Swami said we shall polish and work on it till it shines, a magic happens then, so too Aladdin rubs the magic lamp and befriends the Genie. The Siddhas too become our friends and are on hand to help us out. As the Genie says that people's wishes has to do with tons of money and power, and advises Aladdin not to drink from that cup as there is not enough money and power to satisfy anyone. He adds that except for the two wishes namely, that he can't make anybody love anybody or bring anybody from the dead, he can give everything else, I guess the same applies to the Siddhas too. They want us to escape from the clutches of money and power that are momentarily and can never satisfy our hunger nor bring us satisfaction but to ask for something more permanent and lasting. So when Agathiyar came around and asked the handful of us gathered that day as to what they wanted, some asked for relief from their immediate problems. Some asked for Mukthi or salvation. When he came to me I was lost for words as I had everything a man could possibly have. Beyond that, I had his grace and love. What more could I ask for? But he sat looking at me waiting for my reply. I began to churn my brain to see if something crops up. I thought service to him would be the ultimate wish and I spoke my mind. I told him I desired to take birth again and again and serve him as I did now. I was taken aback when he asked me if that is what I wanted? I knew that instant that what I asked for was not what he had intended for me. I kept silent. So did he. Later I spoke over the phone with Mahin regarding this and wondered if we should ask for Gnana or divine wisdom as Tavayogi always pointed out. The next time Agathiyar came he surprised me by telling me that I had asked for Gnanam. How did he know that I and Mahin had spoken about it? Did he eavesdrop on our telephone conversation?

THE SILENT SIDDHAS

Death is not a tragedy. Each one of us born has signed a contract for some years in which we receive and also deliver before resigning from life. While the saints fix their day of departure we commoners are always caught by surprise. Hence we tend to bargain with God to keep our dear wants alive further. I used to wonder why some pleas are heard and God extends one's life while in others there is no compromise. It is not about being fair or that we are not loved but I guess it goes beyond mind and logic and time and space. Only he knows these secrets.  

There are many secrets Agathiyar holds close to his heart. The most compassionate father reveals them in subtle ways to those who take hint of the signs. Most of the time we do not listen attentively and see through the sayings. Hence we miss the message and find ourselves caught by surprise later. Agathiyar though he is beyond time and space, always reminds us to adhere to the moment. If something is told, he expects us to immediately get moving on it. In delaying it we shall never find another coherent moment again as Mataji too told me the opportunity comes but only once. When the Siddhas assign a time it only means that the stars are in the right position, people are in place to help us, and nature shall cooperate with us. As for the saints, they can bulldoze through these barriers as they are beyond time and space. Neem Karoli Baba who was having a shave listened to the outpour of the old barber and asked to go pee midway. Once out of sight, he visited the old man's son miles away asking him to return to their village. On arrival the son who had left the family for years informs his father that a bearded man who had "shaving cream" on his face appeared before him and commanded him to head home. Tavayogi who was traveling with me was spotted by a pedlar on our arrival on the grounds of the Tanjore Big temple. Both Tavayogi and I were taken by surprise when he walked up to us asking Tavayogi "Swamiji, How come you are back again? You were here yesterday." On another occasion, Tavayogi who was on the phone speaking to his aid and cook Nadarajah back at his Kallar ashram, turned around and conveyed the news that Nadarajah had seen him on the steps leading to his old ashram just moments ago. How was that possible when he was with me in Malaysia? Though everything seems solid and permanent it is deceiving to the eyes. Though the bump and the subsequent pain felt when we knock into something tells us that it is real, could it actually otherwise be unreal? Is this what is called the world of illusion or Maya? Are pain and suffering superficial then? Can the mind combat them? Only experience can tell. The Siddhas step aside and watch us walk through life and the many situations that we have brought onto ourselves knowingly or unknowingly. But fear not as they walk with us and alongside us the moment we fall exhausted they catch us. It is only during these moments that they show their presence and we see their hand in play. 

THE GURU & THE DISCIPLE

Contrary to the common belief that the guru uplifts the disciple, the guru-disciple relationship is a two-way process. Both parties gain from each other. Supramania Swami surprised me when he told me to light a lamp and sit in tavam so that he would be elevated. I had the rare privilege of helping him build his dream temple that fell short of building a kudil or home for him to stay in, thanks to the timely intervention of a stranger who questioned him on his desire and had him drop it even before his desire could spring shoots. In return, he left the merits of his 40-year tavam to me.

When Dhavantari came immediately after Tavayogis demise and spoke to us, he told us that Tavayogi had attained the state of Jothi thanks to us. When Tavayogi was unwell and we prayed for his recovery, hearing our prayers the Siddhas gathered to carry out a yagam that was a lifeline at least buying some time for him to hand over the running of his ashram to Mataji and gift her the knowledge of reading the Jeeva Nadi in their possession. 

In the biographic movie "Green Book", African American pianist Don Shirley and Italian American bouncer Tony Vallelonga, who serves Shirley as driver and bodyguard, help each other grow on their long musical tour down south. So do we help each other and grow together in all facets of life.

The world we see around us is not the beginning and end of all things. It is only transit and life is a transition. We come with a certain number of breaths assigned to us and leave the moment it is used up, though Yoga can add to the number of years one lives. Then with death, we enter another door to another journey. 

Man as a child is carefree and is awed and amazed by the world around him. At the peak of manhood, he is engrossed in the world and what it has to offer. Raising a family he is drawn deeper into relationships. One day it would dawn on him to question his purpose in coming and whether it ends with accumulating riches and properties, achieving status and position in his career and in society. When the need to know in him begins to burn intensely he looks towards someone spiritual to provide the answers. A new journey unfolds. From acquiring and caring for material things he begins to acquire spiritual knowledge and care for his mind and body knowing that this is the bridge to the Lord's kingdom. The guru draws the drawbridge down for him to pass the moat and enter the castle. Here now is the challenge. Just as Mara assumes many forms to entice Sidhartha and break his vow to upkeep austerities, the moat is full of gifts and presents that are for his to take. As the street brat Aladdin is told not to touch anything once inside the cave but the magic lamp by the sorcerer, the seeker too has to keep his hands to himself. Standing now at the door it opens wide for him to enter. Just as the soul is received by his ancestors after death, the whole lineage of gurus awaits his entry into their world. As Agathiyar told us that Tavayogi has been assigned work in their realm, his work now does not stop here but he is assigned a new job. He continues to uplift the souls just as Dhanvantri told us Tavayogi would continue to guide us in the form of light. 

Just as we are told to let go of our hold on our relationships and material desires, stepping into a relationship with the guru, he teaches us to let go of our hold on many a thing considered spiritual. We learn to differentiate the truth from the false. We drop the false and hold on to the truth. Even what we assume or come to know from experience to be the truth is further shredded and torn apart. Eventually, nothing holds just like nature. Like the verse from the Diamond Sutra, one of the key teachings in Buddhism, “Develop a mind that clings to nothing” we become one with nature never clinging to anything solid or concrete.  We only fill whatever vessel we run into. We only flow according to the terrain. We understand that live here is momentary and prepare ourselves for the next journey, accepting it when the time comes. 

LETTING GO

People have become too dependent on others to the extent that even their personal search to return back to the source is dependent on someone else. As Tavayogi says man is the only creature (besides the nesting hatchling) that needs to have food shoved into their mouth and down their throat. Other animals immediately walk up to their mother and feed off her breast or her udder. Some others teach them to feed themselves from day one. At the very start of my journey itself, Tavayogi broke my dependency on a guru. He shot me down or rather my dependence and outlook to look towards another for spiritual upliftment. He crushed the seed even before it could germinate into the nature of dependency on the guru for all things. Soon he broke my hold on amulets, gemstones, and other materials deemed auspicious for material and spiritual growth. After many initial years of following him around and listening to his talks and following the acquaintance and friendship that grew between us, I deduced the inner meanings of the scolding I got. He told me he had nothing to offer or show (acts of siddhi or feats, healing, removal of karma, or the show of miracles). He blasted me saying I was in the world of Maya or illusion (thinking that godmen could perform miracles overnight to elevate us). If the sacred texts considered the world and all in it as an illusion or Maya then all things conceived and done are a product of the mind. All things seen and said have been altered by the mind. Or is it a dream as Bharathi equates in his song "Nirpathuvae… nadapathuvae… parapathuvae"? Where has the world that we awake to and watch during our waking hours gone during the many hours of sleep? Is it still existing then? How is it that we respond to our name in sleep and wake up to it? What is it that stays awake and watches over us in sleep? If the soul is said to roam while asleep how does it find its way home into this body? All these unanswered questions arise in my thoughts as I pen this post. Indeed we are so very ignorant of so many things basic and close to us yet we look beyond the horizon into the far reaches of the mind, time, and space. It would be a wasted birth if we do not comprehend any of these things before our end nears. 

When many have difficulty in letting go of their hold on things that tend to take a grip on us, Tavayogi taught me through little things that caught his attention and that he mentioned in passing. In showing me three "saintly" persons in his neighborhood of Ooty, he pointed out to me that one was in a tussle for the position and authority in an ashram that had become vacant with the demise of the guru. Another was caught in rituals and the temple he ran. The third and final person we met seating alone in his tiny bedroom in a massive bungalow according to him was a Jnani. Pondering and figuring out further about this lesson I have come to understand it. He showed me that not all gurus were the same and that they too had to evolve further. Tavayogi taught me to let go and to give way by example. Starting me on a new journey of exploration into the woods, jungle, and caves in 2005 after Agathiyar introduced me to him as I was disappointed searching for a guru on the path of the Siddhas and a place to dock for further loading of information on Siddha puja, five years later he showed me rituals - the Siddha way. In 2013 he gave way to me and my family to conduct the Siddha puja during our brief stay at his ashram. In 2016 he gave way to me and the AVM family members to lead and participate in the Yagam on the ashram grounds. This made it easy for me to give way to the devotees who frequented my home to conduct libation and Homam. It made it easy for us to bring him into the homes of the devotees who invited him over for several days. Finally, while the whole world was rejoicing in celebrating Agathiyar's Jayanthi recently my family had to shut the doors to AVM and leave home to attend to urgent family matters in our hometown. But the most loving Agathiyar provided for me to participate in a small puja for him carried out in Sri Raghavendra's Mrithiga Brindavanam a short distance away. I learned to leave my dependence on his Murthy or idol too. Tavayogi, Supramania Swami, Ramalinga Adigal, and Agathiyar helped me transform gradually over time. This transformation has to take place first physically and within. Only then can for instance the ordinary ash or vibhuthi applied on us become sacred, the ordinary water in the vessel become sacred when we chant a mantra into it, or the ordinary painting, stone, or metal image of Gods and Goddesses become the portal for time travel with puja and libation. Only when we transform within and without, dropping everything and letting go, the ordinary become potent tools in our hands to heal or elevate another. He then becomes a true messiah, missionary, messenger, and tool of God. God walks in him and acts through him henceforth. 

HELPING THE AGING LOT

In BBC Earth's "South Korea with Alexander Armstrong", the host points out that the nation has a rapidly aging population that's down to having the lowest birth rate in the world with almost half the country expected to be over 65 by 2050. Watching with my family, my daughter who was back from South Korea a year ago tells me that young Korean adults chose not to have children as they do not want them to go through life as it is. 

I cannot imagine that I too have aged with my wife and my children growing up into wonderful adults and one having three lovely kids of her own. Much as I have aged I feel young at heart. Agathiyar too had attested to it watching me join hands with the youths he sent over to AVM to carry out puja and charity and many other activities. While we easily tire out doing our daily chores, in instances where we host and carry out the events and activities that Agathiyar dictated, I believe the Siddhas give us the strength to complete them to their satisfaction. We used to wonder with our jaws wide open as to how the loving couple Sri Krishna and Sri Devy go about shopping, preparing, cooking, and delivering the food packets and yet have time to entertain all those who go over to give a helping hand. I always tell them jokingly that it is no wonder and surprise as the 18 stand by them and give a hand. By 18 I meant the Siddhas. Mataji Sarojini Ammaiyar who hosted the recent Agathiyar Jayanthi fests at her Kallar Ashram too agrees that there was madness to it wanting to accomplish the task to the best of her ability. Today the Siddhas have me sit back and lay on the couch doing nothing for I believe we have listened and carried out all their instructions and directive to their utmost joy and satisfaction. 

To the householders who are also on the path of the Siddhas, this blog is for you for never did Tavayogi or Agathiyar ask us to leave the family and responsibilities behind and take the plunge into monkhood. When I saw Tavayogi alone for the very first time he asked me to bring my wife that evening. He told me to bring her to the path too. When she had frequent dreams of seeing saints and sages Tavayogi told her that they wanted her to come to the path too. The youths who came in droves to AVM sent by Agathiyar, who were single and bachelors, were given time off to pursue their individual lives first and join up in later years. One devotee who was strongly attached to Agathiyar too was told to pay attention to his family first and come back to him with his wife's approval in his fifties. Contrary to popular talk the Siddhas never disrupt the lives of their devotees. There is time allocated for each phase of life. We are to go through all the phases of life and gain experiences and lessons becoming wiser. 

As many of us age with time, many fall a victim to it, when it immobilizes us and brings on senility,  conditions associated with the physical and mental decline that comes with old age. But the Siddhas found ways of overcoming the deterioration of cognitive functioning and immobility associated with old age. They are keen to pass on this knowledge to us provided we give an ear to them. Initially, they tasks us to care for the body in numerous ways. Finally, through their grace, the magic happens within. The body is rejuvenated and a transformation takes place within and without that is noticeable to one and others. This is their gift to humanity. They help us deter or defer at least old age. We just saw our mother pass away peacefully at the very ripe old age of 95. We see many others waiting in line to go or leave us. While the wait begins the immediate family members have a responsibility to take care of these elders. One cannot possibly shun their responsibilities and leave them to care for themselves. How are the young having a career and datelines to meet coping with the old? The age of technology and wonder may have an answer. My nephew has written a wonderful piece on it "Robots to the Rescue of Ageing Population" at  https://www.freemalaysiatoday.com/category/opinion/2023/01/18/kugans-column-robots-to-the-rescue-of-ageing-population/

He writes "One of the most promising areas of elder-care technology is the use of robots, which can help with a wide range of tasks, including mobility, communication, and daily living activities"

He adds "Additionally, robots can provide a level of assistance that humans simply cannot match. They are available 24/7, never tire, and can perform tasks such as lifting and transferring patients that would otherwise put human caregivers at risk of injury. They can also be programmed with specific medical knowledge to assist with tasks such as administering medication and monitoring vital signs."

Being an inventor and innovator himself, he has high hopes: "As inventors and innovators continue to push the boundaries of what’s possible, I am confident we’ll see even more versatile and nifty robots being developed to help older adults live more independently and comfortably."

GETTING PREPARED

Yesterday the family sat together to watch RJ Balaji and NJ Saravanan's  "Veetla Vishesham". The duo has managed to pass on several messages through their latest combined effort as in their earlier venture "Mookuthi Amman" too. Movies have made an impact bringing a varied array of emotions and entertainment since their advent. I was hooked on watching movies in the theatres since my school days. That was the only entertainment back then. Only in the sixties did television make its debut here but it was expensive to own one then. 

"Malaysian television broadcasting was introduced on 28 December 1963. Color television was introduced on 28 December 1978. Full-time color transmissions were officially inaugurated on New Year's Day 1982." (https://en.wikipedia.org/)

We used to watch television programs aired in black-and-white at a neighbor's house. I would cycle to town to watch the color televisions on display at shops. Eventually, we could own a used Grundig tv. 

When I started to earn I bought a National tv that came with its cabinet those days. Today I own a home theatre where I spend my time listening to songs and movies that sound so different.

I used to read everything about the Tamil film industry then. This is how I picked up reading the Tamil language. I am glad that my interest in movies mooted and sustained my reading habit. In the nineties, my interest switched to reading about astrology, numerology, and books on gems, customs, traditions, and religion. I would walk into bookstores and hunt for related books. After coming to the Siddha path I hunted for books on them that included Siddha Vaidyam too. I have an extensive collection although I have given away much of them so that others keen to learn might benefit from them. 

With the advent of technology and the internet, information is available at the tap of a finger or rather a key or click of a mouse. All we need is a smartphone and data. I guess I have been born again to relish and enjoy these findings that were never envisioned nor available in my past births. I need these experiences too I guess. Maybe our ancestors are back too reveling in these technologies.

My past, present, and future were revealed by the Siddhas in a transcript from age-old predictions written on preserved old palm leaves called the Suvadi or Olai. We listen to a few lines of it read and acknowledge if it was relevant to us. Otherwise, we move on to read another. What would have been a normal process of picking up the relevant leaf from bundles of them, became intriguing when a reading from a leaf that seemed to relate to me, my parents, my career, and my family mentioned my wife's name as Manohari. When the wife was someone else the reader skipped reading the leaf and looked for another. So who was this person who carried my credentials but was married to one Manohari?

Similarly, when we finally located my leaf the horoscope given in the palm leaf differed from what several astrologers had drafted and drawn out. I guess Agathiyar had placed before me a prediction that would materialize provided I carried out what was told in the leaf. Remedies were given which I did. I was called to their path which I took up too. My fate changed with time guided closely by him in subsequent Nadi readings. Both Tavayogi and Agathiyar introduced practices and had us drop on time those that we had picked up on our own too when their benefits were reaped, not a second sooner or later. If in coming to my home in the form of a bronze statue he had us chant his name 100,000 these days with the book or online pdf file open before us we cannot bring ourselves to sing. I guess he is saying that he had heard enough. Similarly, the Yoga and pranayama practices given by Tavayogi and the breathing practices given by Agathiyar in the Nadi came to an end too. The former ended when my Muladhara chakra was activated and caused extreme pain in my lower back in 2010, and 2011. I was asked to continue it in 2019 again though. Today he has asked me to abstain from all forms of yogic practices. The Siddha puja initiated by the Nadi Guru after my first reading of the Nadi expanded with the ritual of Homam or lighting the sacrificial fire added on as directed by Tavayogi. This ritual that we carried out on temple grounds too and the libation of Agathiyar's statue after his arrival, has come to an end also, only to be taken up when necessary. Tavayogi introduced feeding the hungry at his Kallar ashram and that took flight once back in Malaysia with the coming together of the youngsters from Thondu Seivom that saw us do charity on the streets, in the homes of the poor, and in temples. But that too came to an end with Agathiyar telling us that others will take it up. True enough another group continued from where we left. 

As mentioned in BBCs "The Story of China S1" that "As it is says in chinas famous novel the romance of the three kingdoms it is a truth universally acknowledged that everything long united will fall apart and everything  long divided will come back together again" the Whatsapp group AVM and its arm AS too was disbanded and we moved on on a solo journey. But Agathiyar hinted that we shall all come back together in the future when everyone  has settled their responsibilities.

We were not allowed to do the same thing forever. He had us move up the spiritual ladder leaving behind all earlier activities. Agathiyar was preparing us to let go of everything eventually. Today we can leave happily without any ties when the calling comes from above. 

PONGAL

Placing some sweet rice and boiled chickpeas that my wife made on Pongal day today before our altar as a thanksgiving to the sun that sustains us, and sitting down to sing the praise of Lord Surya Narayana both my wife and I were surprised that we could connect with nature having gone beyond the idol and image and the rituals. To my amazement opening up the book of prayer titled Thinasari Prathanai Manthirangal published by Narmatha Publications, my finger was on the very page which carried the songs on Sowram (Saurism) the 6th of the 6 sects or denominations. This book carries the other 5 too namely Ganapathyam (Ganapatism), Saivam (Shaivism), Vaisnavam (Vaishnavism), Saktham (Shaktism), and Kaumaram.

A particular song captured my attention. 

காசி நீ இருளை நீக்கும் கதிரொளியாகி எங்கும் 

பூசனை உலகோர் போற்றிப் புசிப்பொடு சுகத்தை நல்கும் 

வாசி ஏழுடைய தேர் மேல் மகா கிரிவலமாய் வந்த 

தேசிகா எனை ரக்ஷிப்பாய் செங்கதிரவனே போற்றி 

Though I held the book in my hands I could not bring myself to sing. I had to try hard. We knew our offering was accepted. 

BONDAGE

Watching a BBC Earth HD S1 documentary "Wild Thailand" today, the narrator mentions that "some teachings advise that things are best left alone but they may also urge direct action to preserve the natural world". Should we then involve and if yes how much? Where do we draw the line? Or should we live things alone to take their due course or as fated. Would involving as in the former be considered meddling or just watching things take place be considered inconsiderate and uncompassionate? 

Take for instance I would turn my head away from seeing the poor and hungry in my earlier years, partly because I had seen my share of poverty and hunger in the family too. It was part of life and living and we had accepted it. It did not kindle me to help another then. Coming to worship Agathiyar and the Siddhas, following Ramalinga Adigal's teachings on compassion and love, Tavayogi's exemplary teachings, and after having shown some wonderful souls like the couple Sri Krishna and Sri Dewi my heart mellowed for the unfortunate. I began to engage in charitable acts. We now know that we can change another's fate at least to a certain level. We can appease their hunger for starters. We can help improve their living standards. We can educate them. We don't need God to come down and carry these out though we believe he is doing it through us. By shifting our priority in life and caring for others too, eventually, we begin to realize that we are placed here on the face of the earth as vehicles and the tools to carry out his work. We become divine in the eyes of both the unfortunate and the divine. Man has moved one step up to become divine. He has shed a huge portion of his karma that he brought along with him. Contrary to taking on the karma of those we help, we have helped clear those on the receiving end. This was made clear to Siddha physician Dr. V.N.Jayapalan in his meditation when Agathiyar told him a Yakshi who he had cursed in the way past would be relieved of the curse when she consumes the food from a pure soul. The Yakshi had been present during the feeding at the doctor's ashram.

In the days when AVM was at the peak of its glory and many come over to place their grievances before Agathiyar, placing oil lamps before him as he had instructed telling them that he shall take care, and others called or messaged asking to place their troubles and problems before him or asking to place an oil lamp before him, I did so. Many believed that Agathiyar would listen to me. When the days of glory ended and Agathiyar had each of us travel our way using the tools, manuals, and practices given, he did not desert them entirely. Though he has broken the congregation he says he continues to listen. My daughter tells me the same. When she shared her friends dilemma regarding her life long health issue with me the path was paved for her to be operated on and she has recovered well. It is as if Agathiyar is akin to Zhao Jun (the Kitchen God) who keeps the family safe and blessed in Chinese belief. "According to Chinese belief, the Kitchen God reports events in the household during the past year to the Jade Emperor when he ascends to heaven." (https://www.thestar.com.my/news/nation)

Agathiyar listens to the plea of his devotees and has done wonders. A devotee got an extension for his mother after pleading that there is much that he needs to do for his mother. She lived 5 more years. Another devotee was told that Agathiyar had extended the lifespan of his father after he pleaded that he wanted his father. A devotees father who was diagnosed as having brain haemorrhage and preparations where underway to carry out the procedures by his grace there was no trace of it later. Another devotee who went into a coma had new blood vessels grow and survived when Agathiyar asked to carry out a joint prayer. Agathiyar and the Siddhas gathered and performed a Yagam hearing our plea to save Tavayogi.

These days I have refrained from praying for myself, my needs, and my family's needs. He comes and tells me he knows (what is best for me and what to do). I have stopped praying or rather cannot bring myself to pray for others too. It just came on naturally. I have been made to realize that all shall be fine, though not necessarily in our eyes, with the least interference. Just as Agathiyar had us pass on food parcels and feed everyone immaterial of their status as even the rich do get hungry, and had us stop giving to everyone later and only to those who deserve, these days my prayers go out to the infants, toddlers, and kids. Their world surrounds us. These souls do not know anything else but only the family. They do not have vested interests or hidden agendas. They do not scheme. They are pure to the core. It saddens me when we lose them to death, when they succumb to illness and diseases, when they cry in pain and when they are bedridden. So did Agathiyar save a child when the parents brought him over. The soul that was to depart was given a new leaf by Goddess Kali after Agathiyar instructed her to do so. Though Ma Kali cautioned Agathiyar of the consequences of his request Agathiyar replied he knew but yet wanted her to save the child. The child is hale and healthy. 

When my mother on her deathbed wanted to sleep which we took as meaning that she would not wake up again, and Agathiyar told us another birth was waiting for her, we let her go. We did not hold her back too as she was 95. My wife was told to let her parents go when their time comes. Another devotee was told that her mothers time to go was near. She took it in her stride as she knows everyone has to go some day. It is only a matter of time.

To those elderly and the young who have elderly parents I tell them to prepare and be brave. Leave it to the medical profession. They too would give their best and ask us to pray for they can only do the procedure but god and nature does the healing. We should be grateful to god for keeping us hale and healthy till a ripe age. Be grateful that the illness has only appeared late in age and not when we were a kid. 

We won't possibly know the maths in life's journey unless the Siddhas reveal them to us. Man is caught in all forms of possession and finds it hard even to let go of his family members and friends. One would wonder if we cry over the death of thousands out there daily. What makes us grieve for one and not another? Patru or the bond that is formed over time. The saints stand aloft because they have broken all forms of bondage. Hence they sit behind and watch the world go on. 

GOD LIVES IN PEOPLE

In coming to the path of the Siddhas one cannot expect a blanket cover against all future miseries and sufferings. It would be a mistake to expect that and find out that it does not work that way and leave disappointed. The Siddhas have us undo the knots one at a time and at the right time and never in one go or altogether. The reason being we have created an extensive network or web of karma that spans many lives. Even Tavayogi tells me that the reason he was knocked down from his bike while riding to town in Methupalaiyam days after he had hosted the annual Jayanthi celebrations for Agathiyar was he still had unfinished karma. Agathiyar never mentioned to a devotee who updates me after each Nadi reading, that he was going to meet with an accident within the hour. But several days later he came in the Nadi and told him that he had held him and prevented him from falling and hitting the tarmac. So did Agathiyar save him and several others from slipping while climbing the boulders heading for Pothigai peak. 

Many devotees of Agathiyar have gone through misery and suffering and are still combating them but with faith and belief that Agathiyar shall soften the extent of suffering and injury while some others have vented their anger on him and left for good.

My family too was not exempted. One day my wife and I received a call informing us that our elder daughter had met with an accident. We rushed to the emergency wards. Passersby and friends who arrived had cared for her as she lay on the road having fallen after being hit by a car while riding pillion. The blessing came by way of the bystanders who helped and the medical team that cared for her. After 9 months she could walk again. We have come to accept that there is a blessing behind every happening even the worst. That nine months of solitary might have kept her from further or bigger harm's way as she stayed indoors under the watchful eyes of Agathiyar at AVM. I have written about this and many other incidents that devotees went through at https://agathiyarvanam.blogspot.com/2015/04/erai-gods-come-to-our-aid.html. 

Another devotee fell and hurt her knee which needed to be attended medically. The blessing came by way of the place the incident took place. She fell at her workplace which was the hospital and was quickly attended to. At another time a vehicle hit the stationary car she was in. She was thrown forward and hit her head. She recovered soon. Recently while swatting the carpet a grain hit her eye. How can we possibly explain these freak accidents? But she takes it with her stride and still has faith in Agathiyar.

A devotee from Chennai who was diagnosed as having a blood clot in her brain came out of it. Then she succumbed to TB. She recovered. She had a stroke later. She recovered. She was in high spirits all these while telling the divine to play his game to his utmost satisfaction. Even the hospital personnel were surprised to see her in high spirits as she lay in bed she says. She went through all these during a span of the past 2 1/2 years. 

Another devotee was left to care for his special child when both his first and second wives left them. He tells me that he is the father and asks how can he desert him. His son is 16 now. When we had seen, during our rounds serving the poor and unfortunate, many deserted wives and abandoned children after the man in these households left them abruptly and also heartless women who leave their children for good having the grandparents look after them or leave them in the homes and never come back to pick them up, here is one man who stands out as divine person in my eyes. My late mother too was a highly spirited lady. She was an exemplary person for the downtrodden and sick. She would boost their spirits with her mere presence and her encouraging words. She lived until 95.

I wish I could be like them. In the face of adversity, I do crumble at times. I guess I need to work on my faith in Agathiyar further. I guess I have not surrendered totally to him. Maybe I should take this up as my resolve in this Pongal season.

TEACHING BY EXAMPLE

The Siddhas in bringing change are not exactly going against the norms. They are bringing us back to the practices of the golden ages that have been intentionally or unintentionally corrupted and manipulated. But we tend to resist and question these changes as we deem what has been handed to us and practice is right. Bharathi and Ramalinga Adigal had much resistance when they tried to make right the wrong. We are disillusioned and think all things existing are right. 

When additional lights are propped up to brighten the sanctum these days the Siddhas coming to us at AVM immediately asked us to off all artificial lights and ignite and kindle the flame from the oil lamp to burn brighter. This made us wonder why. In the times of the Chola, the Big temple in Tanjore the Brihadeswar temple might be considered poorly lit according to our present standards. But Siddha Karuvurar who was said to be the architect behind this marvel had provided for sufficient natural lighting to light up its corridors and interior, sunlight by day and moonlight by night, and the light from oil lamps that were lit. With the advent of electricity and light bulbs, the temples are fully lit. If God stands as a showpiece seen all day long these days, in the past he was only visible in the light of the flame or Arathi shown. You miss seeing the Arathi you miss seeing him. 

From a wonderfully researched piece titled "The Holy Darkness: A Study of Light in Brihadeshvara Hindu Temple, Tanjore, Tamilnadu, India (1010 Ad)" by Anat Geva, Associate Professor, Texas A&M University, Department of Architecture, USA and Anuradha Mukherji, Ph.D. Candidate, Department of Architecture, the University of California at Berkeley, USA, we learn the same and understand further. 

"In spite of the importance given to the sun in the Hindu scriptures, natural light was used very sparsely in Hindu temples. According to the Hindu faith, when a worshipper is in the presence of the divine, there should be nothing to distract his/her senses including vision, and God shall reveal himself to his devotee gradually (Deva 1995). Therefore, the innermost sanctum of the temple is shrouded in total darkness, and the progression into the temple is a ritual movement where the devotee goes through the dynamic experience of the darkening spaces before reaching the darkest sacred chamber (Michell 1987)."

"Thus, a basic premise can be drawn: the design of the Hindu Temple accommodated the faith which requires a procession toward the “holy darkness” and enhanced the spiritual experience. The dictation of the Hindu faith to create this spiritual procession toward the ‘holy darkness’ is examined in the historic Brihadeshvara Temple."

"The multi-method investigation of the relationship of light and darkness, light and objects, and the designated light quality in the Brihadeshvara Temple demonstrates the strong influence of the specific dictum of Hinduism on the light/darkness treatment in the temple. Furthermore, the findings of this examination support the basic premise of the paper and illustrate the ritual procession toward the “holy darkness and how light/darkness can dramatize the spiritual experience in the sacred spaces of the temple."

"The temple interiors were designed to be dark so the human eye is not distracted by the material world to let the mind enter the spiritual world of God. As seen in the Brihadeshvara Temple, natural light is introduced in progressive light quality from brightness to darkness accommodating the ritual movement of the worshiper. It is interesting to note that the reduction level of light quality in the temple also contributes to the thermal comfort in the building. Thick walls, small windows, and reduced light maintain cool and dry conditions for better thermal comfort in the hot humid climate of Tamilnadu. Thus, the Hindu worshippers are not distracted visually or thermally enabling them to focus one’s minds on God. The results that deviated from the expected simulation patterns trigger an interesting question to be further investigated about the impact of non-original elements of the historic building on the treatment of light. Moreover, these findings highlight the multidimensionality of religious dicta."

"This treatment of light ensures that by the time the pilgrim reaches the innermost chamber (Garbhagraha) his/her eyes slowly become accustomed to the darkness and his/her state of mind befitting worship and is no longer plagued by worldly thoughts. During this journey, one passes through many doorways, colonnaded halls and corridors, which are decorated with sacred carvings. These sacred symbols have a profound impact on the mind of the devotee; they simulate the mystery that envelops the universe and the divine spirit that illumines the universe (Deva 1995). Reaching the holy sanctum, the worshipper enters a place for individual self-realization and personal relation with the divine."

I was driven off recently when I visited a guru peedham. Contrary to the intent in emptying us and preparing us for meditation there were so many notices put up stating what should and should not be worn and what should and should not be done that I believe has kept many even those in the neighborhood community away from dropping by to pray and meditate. Its repercussions are that only outsiders and first-timers come by.

The above finding is true too of the structure of temples where we enter and circumambulate slowly losing contact with the sights and sounds of the world around us and enter the sacred sanctum empty to be filled by the sight and sound of the deity and mantras. From outdoors and high walls to block noise to partially covered corridors and finally enclosed by walls on all sides in the inner chamber we move to an inner silence.

When food is served only after puja is over be it at temples or peedhams, the Siddhas come to us even before the puja begins and motion us to feed and eat first. 

If we did elaborate libation or abhisegam taking the cue from the temple rituals, Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Agathiyar ashram in performing it during his visit to my home Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) in 2010, was quick to have it done and over with. There was no pause or delay between the pouring of each item over the statue. Similarly, when Thavathiru Kumara Swamigal of Anuvavi Agathiyar ashram performed the libation for Agathiyar on the grounds of the KL Eco City temple he seemed to rush through the whole ritual. When Bhogar and Goddess Ma came to AVM they too rushed through the ritual. We too took the cue from them and changed our ways to adapt to what was shown and done.

We soon learned and change our ways as the Siddhas taught us by example. Agathiyar told me in the Nadi where he taught me breathing and meditation techniques that he was only sharing what they had put into practice and saw results.

When Agathiyar broke the mass following at AVM and had each of us travel our way taking the tools, manuals, and practice given, telling us that the path has narrowed now, this is reflected in the piece too.

"This sanctum is not intended for mass prayer or congregational worship (Deva 1995)."

TRASHING THE EGO

If Bharathi and Ramalinga Adigal seem to go against the norm of the day and age-long traditions the other Siddhas too in guiding us seem to break the customs and traditions upheld by our forefathers and temple authorities. If I were to list them out society would come down hard on us too for seemingly changing long-standing procedures and corrupting young minds. For instance a priest chided us for serving food to the devotees at the temple venue before the nitya puja or daily evening puja was done citing that the Goddess would not see our charitable act. The Siddhas are trying to bring us back on track after much has been distorted.

I understand now why a guru of an ashram in Anuvavi told me he was not in a prepared to change a 300-year-old tradition and gain the scorn of devotees. Mataji too wanted to continue the past trend and refrained from bringing changes. I guess these things are for our own consumption and for our own use. But that is the way of the Siddhas, known to be fighters and radical transformers. They brought social changes. Besides bringing changes to time-held rituals and ceremonies, the Siddhas began to work on us internally too. From Sariyai that was imposed on us, they brought us to pick up Kriyai the Siddha way. They made us go within dropping even their version of rituals eventually. The Siddhas who performed miracles as we observed rituals in Kriyai, began to be felt within in Yoga. They took on a different manifestation, one more subtle and in the energy form. Soon they began to dictate and transmit messages that arose from within dropping the need for mediums and tools but not before they had made us shed all our hold on previously held ideas and notions, beliefs and practices.

Speaking to Mahindren last evening over dinner, recalling and listing the moments and times when both Tavayogi and Agathiyar trashed our ego and dependence and attachments even before they could take shape, he pointed out to the story of Goddess Mahishasura Mardini and the Asura where after he is defeated and his blood spilled all over, he keeps arising from the droplets of blood. Ma has to wipe out all traces of it and eliminate him. In a translation of the Mahishasura Mardini Stotram from the blog at https://vak1969.com/ it is said the same.

Ayi Nija Hoomkrithi Maathra Nirakritha Dhoomra Vilochana Dhoomra Shathe

Samara Vishoshitha Shonita Beeja Samudhbhava Shonitha Beeja Lathe

Shiva Shiva Shumbha Nishumbha Mahaahava Tharpitha Bhutha Pishaacharathe

Jaya Jaya Hey Mahishasura Mardhini Ramya Kapardhini Shaila Suthe

Ayi – Divine Mother, Nija Hoomkrithi – Chants the powerful Baja Mantra “Hum”, Maathra Nirakritha Dhoomra Vilochana –  Killed the wicked asura Dhoomra Vilochana who was the commander of Shumbha and Nishumbha, whose red eyes always emitted poison, Dhoomra Shathe – Vanquished him in seconds, Samara Vishoshitha – Devi fights a special war, not the one fought by regular soldiers, Shonita Beeja Samudhbhava Shonitha Beeja Lathe – Reference to a powerful Asura whose every drop of blood creates more of his form, Goddess kills him by swallowing all the blood that drips from him while fighting, Shiva Shiva Shumbha Nishumbha  – Shumbha and Nishumbha are great devotees of Shiva, Mahaahava Tharpitha – She gives them liberation by chanting the name of Lord Shiva while killing them, Bhutha Pishaacharathe – Thereby ensuring that they attain moksha and do not become ghosts and ghouls.

The day I called Tavayogi over to my home for the very first time I was elated to receive a holy man stepping into my home. I had never had a guru nor invited visiting gurus over prior to that day. I was on cloud nine basking in joy when I decided to thank him as my nephew drove us back to the venue where he stayed during his stay in Malaysia. He told me I was living in Maya and that he was no Samy or godman. He told me that he had nothing hidden within his saffron cloth. He told me he had no magical powers. I froze at that moment. Silence prevailed during the rest of the journey. Though I was confused and angry it took me years to comprehend what he did on our very first outing. He killed my joy hence crushing the seed of attachment to him that if left behind would have sprouted that day. I understood that he had done me a favor. If he had not trashed and killed my joy then I would have returned home, placed a photo of him in my living room or altar and worshipped him. Rather than have me worship him he showed me to Agathiyar. 

When he invited me over to his ashram in Kallar and a devotee brought up a rudraksha seed asking him if he could wear it he gave the green light. Minutes later he turned to me saying we do not need it. When in a timely manner he noticed the gem-studded ring on my finger again he told me we don't need it. When I quipped that I was wearing a Rasamani on me he said the same again. Soon I lost a jewel among the nine embedded in the ring. He had me drop my attachment to all ornaments that day. 

When Agathiyar stepped into my home for the first time arriving as the bronze statue 12 years ago on 2 January 2010, we carried out his Vizha the following day. Agathiyar told us to give life to the otherwise metal statue in his image by reciting his name 100,000 times. He said that he would come in a devotee and have his Atma reside in the statue during the hours he walked the earth and blessed the gathering. It puzzled me as how that was possible. Later Agathiyar sent seekers to my home after their Nadi reading was done and equally a number of strangers too. In our enthusiasm and concern both I and my wife dished out advice for it was free, right, that brought upon us trouble. Asking Tavayogi what went wrong he trashed me for meddling in others' affairs. He told me to send them to Agathiyar to cry their hearts out instead. Over the years as Agathiyar came through devotees and cured many, and as we did not feel at ease having Agathiyar treat strangers in our family home, we spoke our minds. He listened and stopped sending others over at least for a short period. Later as we matured spiritually he told me that he was only using us and our home to do what needed to be done for them and asked us to step aside and watch. In recent times he tells us that he listens through us and attends to the needs of his devotees. Lord Murugan too in the Nadi told us to step aside and let the Gods have a field day in our home puja and Vizha. 

Both Tavayogi and Agathiyar gave us leeway and freedom to amend, modify and change many things. They had us drop many things too. For instance, during the advent of the pandemic, he had me dissolve the Agathiyar Vanam Malaysia (AVM) and its charity arm Amudha Surabhi (AS) Whatsapp group at the peak of its glory and have everyone go their way in doing puja and charity rather than becoming dependant and attached to the group. He had the devotees shed their attachment to a grouping, gathering, an umbrella body, movement, organization, society, and center. Being the host he had me lose my attachment to all the power, authority, respect, etc showered on me and my wife too. My wife told me that we were getting "high" doing puja and charity. He gave us the tool of Yoga and Pranayama and had us sit at home coinciding with the numerous lockdowns and restrictions of movements brought on by the authorities. He told us that it was now a solo journey as the path was narrowing and we could only tread one at a time. 

Most recently as I had a responsibility towards my parents-in-law I was away from AVM on the 9th of January. When the whole world was celebrating Agathiyar's Jayanthi I felt sad that I had to be away. Though Agathiyar had switched the day of his celebration for us, moving the date to that of Thaipusam,  (from what originally coincided with the Vizha in Kallar Ashram that was initiated by Tavayogi asking us to light a homam in our home simultaneously at the same time) I would sit to carry out puja on my own. Now as I was away attending to my family's needs the most compassionate Agathiyar had me arrive in time to witness and participate in his puja at the Jegathguru Sri Raghavendra Swamigal Mrithiga Brindavanam Kinta in Ipoh where I was during the weekend. He satisfied both the family and my yearning. I realized that he broke my attachment to the Murthy of Agathiyar and the venue that was both my home and his Vanam (AVM). He showed me that he was and shall appear anywhere. Reading about an episode and watching a scene from the Hindi movie "Thank God" and the opening credit scene in "Unnal Mudiyum Thambi", I guess I would have got another thrashing if I had turned down my family in the hours of their need and sat home to conduct puja for him. In the first story, one had brought goodies for Lord Muruga when he was stopped by a hungry man asking for food. His conscience told him to part with the goodies meant for the Lord. Arriving at the temple and standing before the Lord he apologizes that he had to give away what was meant for the Lord. The Lord tells him that he had eaten and was full. The Lord had come in the form of the man. In the Hindi movie, a grandma and her grandson seek alms and food from the lead character. But he chooses to literally feed Lord Hanuman instead. When he meets with an accident and faces the court of Chitragupta (CG) who determines the next course of action CG mentions that he could have saved the starving lady from death and the child from becoming an orphan. In the Tamil movie, a lad is apprehended for not picking up a banana that a blind old lady had dropped but instead watching her struggle to locate the fruit he continues making his rounds chanting the hymn Kandhar Sasti Kavasam. I was happy that I had the good sense to attend to the family first. 

Literally speaking the Siddhas turn our lives inside out and upside down for we tend to see the world from its right perspective - upside down. Hence many fear getting close for it would call for change. Since we have lived in our comfort zone where we get to do as we wish for far too long it is only natural for us to refuse change. Only the strong-willed dive in. I was asked to teach an 83-year relative Surya Namaskar. But even before he began he gave up. Days ago I led him in taking deep and full breaths and expelling them. He saw it as a difficult chore to accomplish and walked away. It made me realize that we should exercise and do yoga while we are fit. In old age, we lose the spirit to accomplish things and give up easily. We tend to resist change.

WONDER WHAT IS IN STORE FOR THE FUTURE?

I was asked to aid in building temples and build one for Agathiyar in my very first Nadi reading in 2002. I was pretty excited about having been chosen for the job. I scouted around to build a shrine for Agathiyar in existing temples as I figured building a new one was not feasible then. As no temple committee was willing to have Siddhas reside alongside other deities I dropped the idea. In 2008-2009, Agathiyar had me commission his statue and have it placed at the Jegathguru Sri Raghavendra Mritiga Brindavanam Kinta in Ipoh that was being constructed then. Upon completion of the statue, he wanted to reside in my home before moving on to the Brindavanam. But for reasons only known to him, he decided to stay put in my place and had another devotee place another statue there. Meanwhile, as the world celebrates Agathiyar's Jayanthi today, I was fortunate to participate in a simple puja for him at the Jegathguru Sri Raghavendra Mritiga Brindavanam Kinta in Ipoh this morning. Here again, Agathiyar had for some years now reassigned a new date for us to celebrate his Vizha at AVM that coincided with Thaipusam instead of Ahilyam in the month of Margazhi.

My guru Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal who had ended his years of traveling as a mendicant was instructed by Agathiyar to locate a place called Agathiyar Vanam and set up an ashram. He found the place to be at Kallar. Later with aid from devotees, he built a larger ashram some 2 kilometers away which is the present-day Agathiyar Gnana Peedham. Meanwhile asking my guru Supramania Swami to build a temple, Lord Muruga came as a stranger and stopped the venture, Swami dropped the idea, retaining only his kudil in the plot of land purchased for the purpose in Tiruvannamalai. 

Then in 2018 when I saw the Nadi, Lord Murugan in asking me to build a temple for him, and replying to my thoughts and questions as to why he wanted another to his long list of temples, said that I shall do it differently. I did not understand how different shall his temple be from others. Was it to be in the name, his form, the architecture, the rituals? 

Since I did not respond to his call to build a temple Lord Muruga had Agathiyar coax me again coming through a devotee. As I did not respond Agathiyar said he will do it. When the specified time was up he told me that he had tested me. This is how the divine plays its game and tests its devotees.

Over the years I have come to understand. Both Agathiyar and Lord Murugan have told us much that defers from the routine and the norm. I guess this is the difference they spoke about. But I am not at liberty to discuss them here as yet. It shall all be known if the divine still wants to go ahead with this asking.

THE TRANSFORMATION

The kingdom of god comes to those who seek it. The last time Goddess Ma came she collected the Holy Ganges that flows from Lord Shiva's tresses in the kamandalam or drinking vessel or water pot and handed it to me. Though the stories and the visits of Gods and Goddesses and Siddhas, sages and saints to our humble home might be rather unbelievable in this present age it does happen. It happens when they become fond of us. It happens when we choose to believe. It happens when we choose to listen. Let me burn in hell if I am lying. Throw me into the dungeons if I am lying. A psychologist tried to equate these to hallucinations. I told him to carry out all that I did which was very little so that he could know for himself. 

In my search to know more about the Siddhas Nadi Nool Aasan Tamaraiselvan pointed me to a blog in 2005. Looking it up I came across another that captured my interest. It was Siththan Arul. I soon began to follow and read the blog for it captivated by attention. I read with awe and wonder reading about the Siddhas giving guidance to many through the Jeeva Nadi in the possession of the late Amarar Hanumathdasan Aiya of Chennai. I read my Kaanda Nadi in Malaysia in 2002. Through Agathiyar's grace and Tavayogi Thangarasan's blessing, the Siddhas decided to provide frequent and regular readings through their Aasi Nool beginning in 2005. Traveling with Tavayogi I was shown numerous miracles along the way. Agathiyar told me that these miracles shall continue when I returned home to Malaysia. I became a firm believer in the Nadi and carried out everything told in it. Siththan Arul strengthened my faith in it further. I read about the numerous miracles that were shown by the Siddhas in the pages of Siththan Arul which mesmerized me further. Soon these miracles began to take place on our local front just as Agathiyar had spelled out in the Nadi. 

From coming in the Nadi they soon came through devotees too and communicated with us. Today they come in many forms and deliver these messages. Their intent is to break and have us shed our ignorance and become enlightened. They work on each soul individually according to its readiness to receive and be transformed. I am glad many in our circle have begun to receive and are being transformed. Time will tell and show and bring them out to the world. 

CHERISHING NATURE

20 years on in the Siddha path I am still the same person. I have my fears and anger. Neither can I drop my other weaknesses. I guess I cannot change my character. I guess that is the reason the saints too plead that the divine accept their weaknesses as their character (Gunamaaga yetriduga) and pardon them. 

What is obvious is that I cannot seem to interact well with others. I seem to be an outcast in society. There is no common subject to talk about when we meet others. It is like a chicken talking to a duck. We cannot stomach their talk while they cannot comprehend us. So the next thing we do is stay away from others and live a life of a hermit. The bodily changes both external and internal force us to stay behind close doors further. 

To those who asked us what did we gain in worshipping the Siddhas I say "Nothing". Off course they move away to other pastures where they can feed freely and fill their stomach to their lives desire. There are many who would list all the gains in coming to the Siddha path including gaining Siddhis, powers to heal and predict, gaining recognition and with it tremendous ego. We chose to forgo all these for his Holy Feet. 

Though we gained nothing we learned to drop many a thing. When many fill their coffers', mind and thoughts with fleeting ideas and things, the Siddha taught us to empty ourselves instead. We were beaten while traveling the beaten track that the Siddhas walked upon in the past. We were stripped naked. We were pelted with stones. Standing stark naked before him today we cannot possibly imagine going back to repossess the promised power, position, authority, fame etc. We chose to move forward onto higher frontiers and the promised land.

Though they taught us humbleness they made sure we held on to the principles. They made sure to apprehend those who sway from the path. They can be harsh at times. Though the changes are not visible it is taking place within. Our perspective of life has changed. Our priorities have been drop and replaced by the divines' wishes. We have dropped the role of being a master and taken up the role of a slave. In summision to his Holy Feet we received their grace. Their grace turned us inside and out and completed the transformation. 

If Acharya Gurudasan wrote a wonderful piece that was posted in the last post, another devotee wrote in after listening to the song that broke us all.

போதும் போதும் போதும் இந்த போலி நாடகம்

எந்தன் மாமுனிவன் பாதம் அல்லால் யாதும் பாதகம்.

Everything that we do is Maya.

Just one after another circle of Maya.

We believe that we are improving, progressing in our practice, but...

Even that is another circle of Maya.

So, what would be the best practice?...

maybe just...

living our life and enjoy the beauty of creations...

as much as possible...

while you can.

As he says to immerse in the beauty of creation is the thing to do just now. Just yesterday I sat on the swing in my father-in-laws house and watched the evening sky and the awesome colors of the sunset blend with the dark rain clouds howering above over the rows of oil palm trees that lined the hill that was an oil palm estate which enclaved the housing estate, the cool breeze of the Tamil month of Margazhi caressing us in chillness. The dark clouds that threathened to pour and send us indoors seem to understand that I was enjoying the show put on by mother nature moved on elsewhere bringing on only a light drizzle. I painted this vision over the phone to Suren in Iraq as he called me at this hour of appreciation of nature. I guess an appreciation of nature is what is needed most. Now I understand how the poets can come about with wonderful lyrics just watching nature. Poet Supramania Bharathi wrote an awesome song as he sat facing the sea one evening.

“மாலைப் பொழுதிலொரு மேடை மிசையே

வானையும் கடலையும் நோக்கி யிருந்தேன்;

மூலைக் கடலினையவ் வான வளையம்

முத்தமிட் டேதழுவி முகிழ்த்தல் கண்டேன்;

நீல நெருக்கிடையில் நெஞ்சு செலுத்தி,

நேரங் கழிவ திலும் நினைப்பின்றியே

சாலப் பலபலநற் பகற் கனவில்

தன்னை மறந்தலயந் தன்னில் இருந்தேன்.

ஆங்கப் பொழுதிலென் பின்பு றத்திலே,

ஆள்வந்து நின்றெனது கண்ம றைக்கவே,

பாங்கினிற் கையிரண்டுந் தீண்டி யறிந்தேன்,

பட்டுடை வீசுகமழ் தன்னி லறிந்தேன்;

ஓங்கி வருமுவகை யூற்றி லறிந்தேன்;

ஒட்டு மிரண்டுளத்தின் தட்டி லறிந்தேன்;

‘வாங்கி விடடிகையை யேடி கண்ணம்மா!

மாய மெவரிடத்தில்?’என்று மொழிந்தேன்.

சிரித்த ஒலியிலவள் கைவி லக்கியே.

திருமித் தழுவி“என்ன செய்தி சொல்”என்றேன்;

“நெரித்த திரைக்கடலில் என்ன கண்டிட்டாய்?

நீல விசும்பினிடை என்ன கண்டிட்டாய்?

திரித்த நுரையினிடை என்ன கண்டிட்டாய்?

சின்னக் குமிழிகளில் என்ன கண்டிட்டாய்?

பிரித்துப் பிரித்துநிதம் மேகம் அளந்தே.

பெற்ற நலங்கள் என்ன?பேசுதி”என்றாள்.

“நெரித்த திரைக்கடலில் நின்முகங் கண்டேன்;

நீல விசும்பினிடை நின்முகங் கண்டேன்;

திரித்த நுரையினிடை நின்முகங் கண்டேன்;

சின்னக் குமிழிகளில் நின்முகங் கண்டேன்;

பிரித்துப் பிரிந்துநிதம் மேகம் அளந்தே,

பெற்றதுன் முகமன்றிப் பிறிதொன் றில்லை;

சிரித்த ஒலியினில்ன் கைவி லக்கியே,

திருமித் தழுவியதில் நின்முகங் கண்டேன்.”

Modern day cinema lyrists have given us some gems too. 

WHAT GOOD IS IT?

Acharya Gurudasan after listening to the song "Asai yendru ulle ondru mosam seiyuthey" was inspired to pen the following.

What good is it? What good is it? 

What good is it, 

If my humility has so much pride?

What good is it, 

If my devotion lacks surrender?

What good is it, 

If my charity lacks selflessness?

What good is it

If my sadhana lacks intent?

What good is it

If my detachment lacks contentment?

What good is it

If my truth lacks sincerity?

What good is it

If my love lacks warmth?

What good is it

If my life lags in your purpose?

What good is it? What good is it??

- inspired ramblings

READING THE SIGNS

My late father was a highly-spirited person. He traveled far leaving his childhood home of Kilasevalpatti in India and went to Burma and later Ceylon to continue his money-lending business. From there he moved to Singapore and later to Malaya. He started a family here. I was their eighth child. When he returned home after a stroke he never gave up but instead used to write for hours until he perfected his writing and got to use his limbs again. He died a peaceful death at the age of 76. So was my mother. She lived until 95. Both my parents never complain and never engaged in small talk. I wish I could be like them.

We tend to collapse in the face of adversities and suffering. I guess the reason is that life has been good for some of us. We became pampered. Hence faced with problems and troubles we cannot handle them. We take it on others. We begin to blame them. We in return harm others. 

This is where the saints speak about love. Their love for others moved and expanded to include all of nature and creation. Hence they refrained from harming others. They were pure to the core. It is rather difficult to adopt this in current times. It needs strong willpower and adherence to upholding principles in life. We tend to lose out here. We lack self-discipline. We have to be disciplined from the outside. Here is where there is a need for laws. 

As life tapers to a standstill we begin to think about life and its purpose often. We have all the time to do so. Having a living guru would be excellent for he would share some pearls from his life and experiences. These days the guru can come in any form provided we are willing to listen. 

I guess nature intended and paved the way for man to reach this state in his golden years. He loses his teeth so he returns to a diet of a baby and toddler. He loses his sight and hearing and his ability to walk bringing him to sit still. Nature creates the atmosphere for him to go within whether he likes it or not. But sadly rather than accept and work with what he has on hand, he complains that he is losing them. Acceptance of nature and how it works in bringing change in us with age will pave the way for us to pass away peacefully. My parents accepted it. They passed away peacefully. 

But man due to greed and his attachment fights back even with death. He seeks God to intervene. God does extend one's life. But should not he then change his ways and begin to serve him the rest of his life? What is the point in giving an extension if he is going to continue his old ways of living his desires? Should not he now fulfill the desires of God? Should not he spend the rest of his days and every moment doing God's work? 

When God intervenes in our lives our horoscope and life predictions change for good. For those destined to do his work, these do not work. It is overruled. Know that if the predictions are not working in your favor that God wants you. It is time we turn our gaze on him for he has turned his gaze on us. 

Much of what I write on these pages or posts of my blog is a reminder to me rather than advice to the readers. I see myself lacking in many areas too and hence these notes serve as a reminder to buck up or lose out. 

AWAITING THE MOMENT

After the calling by Agathiyar to worship the Siddhas too besides the Hindu Gods, I looked around for movements that were associated with the Siddhas. I stood at their doors but they never captivated me. Worship or puja was missing from their daily agenda. Many were focused on gathering donations and carrying our charity. I began to take up puja on my own in my home. Soon Agathiyar sent Tavayogi Thangarasan Adigal of Kallar Ashram to our shores where I met him. He invited me to his ashram in India. He also asked me to patronize the local branch of his Peedham that he had arrived to officiate. But Agathiyar had other plans for me. Just before Tavayogi left for India Agathiyar in my second Nadi reading asked me to visit Tavayogi's ashram and spend some days with him. I received my second Diksa just before I left his ashram. A bond was cemented between a guru and a disciple. 

If once upon a time we did things that brought pleasure to us, later we took up numerous tasks thinking these would satisfy and make him happy. After 17 years, that saw me conduct home puja for the Siddhas, which was joined by many youngsters shown to me by Agathiyar in their Nadi readings, coming together to carry out charity and spreading the home Siddha puja into the corridors of temples that were Siddha-friendly, Agathiyar had us drop everything and go within taking the breath as a tool for sitting still. Though I tried to sit still, I never succeeded in my attempts. As I began to think that I had lost a purpose in living, and as I await his directive further, he tells me that he has something up his sleeve for me in the future. I wonder what it is? 

By the grace of the Siddhas that was brought on by the love for them and the pujas we did with listening to every word and directive of theirs, Agathiyar opened up the channels that otherwise would need long years of practice. When I asked him what needed to be done further he tells me "Nothing. The energies will do their work." 

So these days besides an occasional puja when requested by devotee friends and brief moments in sitting with him lamenting, complaining, pouring my frustrations, etc over matters that are beyond my control around me and with the society of the day and man, I hardly do anything. So how do I kill time? I play with my grandchildren. I listen to songs and watch selected movies. What surprises me is that the messages come through these too. Though I had watched and listened to these numerous times before I am learning anew. The last straw that broke my back is the song by Dhanurdaasa Raamaanuja Jeeyar, sung by Smt. T. S. Ramapriya. He writes that "The Munivan referred to in this song is Swamy Manavala Mamunigal the most prominent Acharyar of Srivaishnava Sampradayam."

ஆசை என்று உள்ளே ஒன்று மோசம் செய்யுதே!

அது பூசை என்று வெளியே உன்மேல் பாசம் செய்யுதே!

நாளும் உன்னை நேசிப்பதாய் போடும் வேஷமே!

அது  நாளுக்கு நாள் நானே எனக்கு தேடும் நாசமே!

எல்லோருக்கும் நன்மை செய்தோம் என்று தோணுதே!

செய்த ஒவ்வொன்றிலும் சுயநலமே என்ன நாணுதே!

போதும் போதும் போதும் இந்த போலி நாடகம்

உந்தன் பாதம் ஒன்றே ஆக வேண்டும் எந்தன் தாரகம்.

பேரும் புகழும் வேண்டாம் என்று உள்ளம் சொல்லுதே! 

பலர் புகழ இன்னும் புகழு! என்னும் கள்ளம் வெல்லுதே!

காம, கோபம் வென்றோம் என்று வாயும் சொல்லுதே!

உள்ளே விருப்பும் வெருப்பும் தலைவிரித்தே ஆடிச் செல்லுதே!

பசி ருசியை கடந்தோம் என்று மாறு தட்டுதே! 

இந்த புசி என்றே தினம் நாக்கும் வயிறும் காலை கட்டுதே!

போதும் போதும் போதும் இந்த போலி நாடகம்

எந்தன் மாமுனிவன் பாதம் அல்லால் யாதும் பாதகம்.

சுகத்தை விட மனசு இல்லை உள்ள நிலை இது! 

ஆனால் ஜெகத்தினையே ஜெயித்ததாக சொல்லி அலையுது!

நன்று செய்த நல்லவரை அன்றே மறக்குது!

இது குன்று போன்ற குறை சுமந்தும் கூசாது இருக்குது!

வந்தவர்க்கே அறிவுரையை வாரி வழங்குது!

இது தன் வாழ்க்கையில் தத்தளித்தே வாடி வதங்குது!

போதும் போதும் போதும் இந்த போலி நாடகம்

எந்தன் மாமுனிவன் பாதம் அல்லால் யாதும் பாதகம்.

நினைத்தபடி நடப்பதுவே எந்தன் வாடிக்கை!

அது உன் நினைவே என்று சொல்வது என்ன வேடிக்கை!

உனக்காகவே வாழ்ந்திடுவேன் என்று பாரிக்கை!

பின் எனக்காக இது செய்! என்று என்ன கோரிக்கை!

துறவி என்று கூறிக்கொண்டும் எதையும் துறக்கலை!

இந்த பிறவிக்கேனோ ஞானம் ஏதும் இன்னும் பிறக்கலை.

போதும் போதும் போதும் இந்த போலி நாடகம்

எந்தன் மாமுனிவன் பாதம் அல்லால் யாதும் பாதகம்.

LEAVING BEHIND THE MERITS

I was ranting my heart out to Mahindren having called him over after work last Tuesday. It was about life's purpose and having a purpose in all things. In taking birth to satisfy our desires, we took the human form, grew up and married, and left behind our children and for some they made a name for themselves that would be remembered for generations to come. There was a purpose and something left behind here. Coming to the path of the Siddhas we engaged in Sariyai, Kriyai, Yogam, and Gnanam and were made aware of the 5 tenets of Agathiyar given to mankind. This further strengthened our purpose here moving from looking after the self and kin to involving the community, society and animals and plants, and even the minerals too. Man then became divine in the eyes of people. Many Siddhas left behind scriptures, texts and songs, practices, methods, and means to achieve the evolved state, from a common man to a divine man and to a Siddha. There was a purpose and something left behind here too. Presently Agathiyar who initially asked us to carry out activities and responsibilities without any attachment, and later asked us to drop them too, had brought every activity to a standstill. He tells me nothing is necessary now. How can life go on without a purpose? What am I to leave behind as I am not engaged in the obvious - activity? So how do you pass your time? Of what purpose is it to sit still? Who gains by us sitting still? 

Pouring my thoughts to Mahindren he suddenly asked me what did Bhagawan Ramana leave behind. That stunned me. I knew it was Agathiyar questioning me through him. 

Just like Supramania Swami told me that even the tapas or austerities have to be left behind and gave me his merits then in the Hindi movie "Thank God", after playing the game that Chitra Gupta (CK) hosted and having collected merits the soul is asked if he wants to leave them behind for the next contestant, another soul that is struggling between the planes of life and death where the game shall determine if the soul returns or leaves for good. In this case the soul refuses to leave behind the merits and instead takes them with him. He comes to know about the road accident his family was involved in too and unfortunately he had missed the opportunity to save his wife and child who were to play the game too. He pleads with CK to save them. CK tells him it was too late to reverse the act of holding back onto his merits.

Agathiyar through Mahindren had knocked some sense in me much earlier when I was sulking that I had wasted precious time sitting at home due to the numerous lockdowns and movement restrictions at the peak of the pandemic. As I equated activity with progress I deemed myself as not having progressed. But Mahindren asked me to see it from another perspective. He told me that I had instead dropped so many things during this period. Agathiyar made me realize that engaging in service and activities doesn't reflect gaining momentum and speed in spiritualism but that spiritualism was all about dropping our hold and letting go. I am glad Agathiyar is with us knocking on our door often and constantly knocking our senses too.

A CHANGE IN FATE & DESTINY

I followed the astrological chart that was drafted based on the time of my birth by the late A.M. Doraisamy in my hometown of Taiping. The ascendant or Lagna was noted as Cancer or Kadagam. The ascendant in the Navamsa chart was Thulaam. My star was Avittam. My Raasi was Kumbam. I was born before sunrise. 

I forgot that me and my brother shared the above star and Raasi until the priest who attended to the last rites of our mother kept asking us to state these at every ritual. But how was it that though we shared the same talents we were different in many other ways? 

This made me go back to the days I patronize the late Siddha practitioner Dr. Krishnan whom I came to know in 1996. He too had drafted my horoscope then but nothing predicted seemed to work for me. When I asked him if his predictions would not materialize he told yes and if I had been cursed in the past. Asking him to reveal them he told me only the Siddhas knew and could reveal them through their Nadi readings. I left it at that. I 2002 I saw my Kaanda Nadi after my colleague shared his experience seeing his two years earlier.  Agathiyar confirmed the doctor's statement and gave me remedies to carry out. 

Agathiyar surprised me when he revealed my horoscope in the Nadi which differed from what I had been following all this while. My ascendant was noted as Libra or Thulaam. I thought whether that was the reason nothing materialized. I went back to Dr. Krishnan. He too was taken aback. He asked me to adopt what was given by the Siddhas. I kept aside the earlier Raasi chart and left it to Agathiyar to determine my life henceforth.

Did Agathiyar switch my fate? Did coming to the Siddhas change my fate and destination? Later in 2018 Lord Murugan in his Jeeva Nadi told me that yes he did. 

We were told when we came to the path of the Siddhas that the Siddhas were capable of switching the planetary positions and bringing relief from our suffering. Much has been written on the pages and posts of this blog regarding these. I am seeing the truth as I begin to experience these changes. 

The Siddhas take us beyond the changes related to relationships, careers, etc in our lives and bring on bodily changes together with changes in perspective and understanding of the world around us. Soon they bring on internal changes bringing on a subtle transformation within. 

They prepare us for death which is but another door to another journey and life. For a selected few they learn the art of beating death at its game with their grace. All the saints sought the grace of god to achieve this state of deathlessness. Hence the need to seek their attention, sympathy, and guidance. Once this is attained their grace comes in torrents. This grace transforms us eventually.